What is reality ?

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Now i feel like it's hard to breath when i think about me being the center of reality. It could all be in my head the effects i endure. I've had times were it felt like i realized my own consciousness, and then i'd think " Were am i ?" Hasn't happened recently though. But God is undeniable. What's going on ? Is it that i'm just insane ?

what are you asking?
how is god undeniable
why do you think you died
what do you mean people are watching you
please separate past and present tense - these are confusing in your post

Am i just insane ?
Why am i asking ?
God is undeniable cause i've had experiences with him like a sentient person monitoring his friend.
I think i was some where else before birth. That i died then was born. Then lived till now.
Some of culture seems to reflect elements i've attributed to myself.

idfkbbq I took too much acid and I don't know what is anything anymore.

yeah youre probably a bit insane but doctors wont fix you theyll just use you to scam insurance money for pills you dont need

if you really think theres a god write more about it than "i felt it and i know it so its true" give non believers a reason to believe.

I've experienced this same shit, made me a schizophrenic mess.

I just learned to ignore it. too many 'what ifs' and not enough 'is', so who cares.

I wouldn't give up though. There's gotta be some reason to have focused on it since birth.

Well is there a psychological term for what i'm going through ?

I've only done pot. And cough syrup.

And it's just something you have to find on you're own.

I've done weed and acid (not real LSD)
the acid seems to have fucked with me enough that I get schizo when I smoke, so I don't smoke anymore.

I've had one schizo experience outside of smoking, so I'm very careful about who I'm around and what I talk about.

Because I honestly don't know if the experiences were real or not, that's how powerful the insane mind is.

Sometimes i think and my thoughts are really loud. Like i forget weather i spoke them or thought them. And i usually only experience silhouettes and odd noises and paranoia, When i'm really immersing in the idea. I haven't gotten high in a while and it bothers me.

When i find it hard to breath it's like i can breathe but the air doesn't help. Like something is missing.

Did you become a Christian because you already knew that religion before?
Have you studied different religions to see if those beliefs would fit you even better?
If you write down your thoughts, does it look like a story that can be sold, or just like crazy ramblings?

I was born in a christian family. whether any of us practice it right is certainly up for debate but never the less if we could sign a document to sell our souls to God we would.

I've searched other religions. None fit. This one was fluid and true to me. Then the other thoughts about reality are more like my more carnal beliefs about it all. If God doesn't exist it's more of a plan b.

These are my thoughts. Do they seem like insane ramblings. To me i think they're worth recording. But no one will, They just join the zeitgeist.

Keep posting. I'll be back, maybe.

depends on the rest of your symptoms if you really think you are sick
remember that most of psychology is a pseudoscience

upup

u dont even exist

Do you remember how you died? Do you remember your near death experiences? Do you remember the faces you saw before you came back?

I believe that this reality is fake.

We're all going to wake up with a happy family. :))))))))

No. I did have one near death experience were i choked myself half to death.

I know i'm insane i just don't know if that one particular idea is insane.

This statement never made sense to me. You have to exist to, just be.

I've begun to wonder what if i really was dead in a alternate dimension and this was built to sustain me in a coma. So i could continue to live till i got better.

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It appears to me that you have Solipsism Syndrome (belief that the world exists only inside your mind and nothing is real to the point of distress)
You also appear to exhibit Cotard's Syndrome (belief that you are dead/a walking corpse)

Solipsism Syndrome is related directly to Depersonalization Disorder, and I have a feeling that even though Cotard's Syndrome is usually related to Schizophrenia, for you it is probably also related to Depersonalization Disorder, because you don't seem to have the other usual symptoms.

Depersonalization usually starts with some kind of anxiety attack, I imagine the disorder happens when you have prolonged stress/anxiety as a result of drug use or something else.

tl;dr you need to figure out how to relax yo. Try meditating or something.

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