Your mom finds your shit jug collection

What do I do, Holla Forums? I've already tried convincing her to let me stay but she says she wouldn't want to pay for professional help, let alone have me living here.

Should I go live in a public library or something?

Start mailing your shit jugs to her. Leave them on her porch. Put them under the house and in the back yard.

make her entire life about shit jugs.

be an hero

It started when she began investigating the awkward stench that cultivates the house. I'd keep separate in-progress shit jugs depending on my anticipation of consistency and 'flavor', whereas each jug could acquire a certain aroma. Then I'd hide them under dirty clothes in my closet, which shares a backwall with her closet. While I was gone getting chicken nuggies, she opened my closet and found the collection. I had nearly 50, since I started last september.

My mom is a nice woman, she doesn't need this many shit jugs in her life. The worst part is, I rummage our weekly recyclables for spare jugs, and now I won't even have those.


Can you recommend any fail-safe methods? I'm poor as dirt, so laying down on train tracks or finding a large bridge is maybe my best bet, and I'm such a faggot I'd probably pussy out.

Please help, she confiscated my shit jugs and refused to return them. My mom's been my only friend since dropping out of hs.

What the fug.

Why would you have 50 jugs of your own shit hidden under piles of your dirty clothes in your closet in the first place, much less when you're still living with your mom.

I don't think I've seen autism of this level before.

Yeah, OP, I'm gonna need a "why" as well.

This thread is going places if you aren't just mucking about.

I thought I might want or need them on some future endeavor, like bombarding someone's house in shit-jugs as opposed to throwing toilet paper. In a way I used it like a hobby since I'm not good at anything else. I'm also fat, like 300 pounds, so enjoying eating goes in hand with enjoying the shitty aftermath, and just watching how my body transmuted food. I used to think it was like a funny joke doing it alone, but now the situation demands only the utmost concern.

Does anyone have an idea for a temporary living arrangement, like in a gym or under a bridge? If not I need a cheap way to off myself and quickly.

I blame the pepe memes

...

What exactly are you shitting in? Are you talking about milk jugs? 5 gallon buckets? Coffee cans?

I won't believe a word of this until you post a timestamped pic of your shit jug collection.

I told you, my mom confiscated my shit jug collection and refused to give them back.

They're standard 1 gallon milk jugs, I just crouch, pucker the spout to my anus, and shit like bigfoot.


Thanks, helps a whole bunch.

Does anyone want to help me? I think I'll try drowning, falling asleep face down in a creek in the woods. I have no reason to go on without my shit jugs. They brought my life purpose, now they bring me despair.

Thanks anyway, Holla Forums.

So your mum hasn't thrown them out yet? Sorta sounds like she wanted them for herself

I think she got rid of them, but she was just really angry when I asked for them, and said I'd never be shitting in jugs again.

I guess she was right.

I've been suggesting this to all the neets: if you're getting kicked out in the summer there's literally no excuse for being a homeless bum with all the seasonal agricultural work available even with no skills. Check out wwoof.

In exchange for a legitimate helpful answer please describe everything about shit jugs.

Did you have a favorite shit jug? Were the jugs noticably different or did they pretty much average-out over the course of the jugs being full. How much separation was there within most of the jugs? Or did they just sort of layer based on time.

Why don't you just start shitting in jugs again? If you're getting kicked out anyway, you may as well keep doing it.

Also, let your shit jugs ferment for a while, and you can huff the fumes and get #REKT off of it. I mean if you're going to go through the trouble of shitting in a jug instead of using a toilet like a human being, you may as well be a total fuck up and get high on your own shit.

Was it a one use thing or did you fill them to the brim? Also did you piss in them as well?

you should probably just have yourself committed. it will give you somewhere to live and food to eat and you could do with the help.

You should try out primitive living OP

his shitjugs would attract bears.

Tits or gtfo

Or shit jugs will do

Primitive Technology has a pretty good channel on YT for that shit.

This is pretty much what I did. Well what little sleep I got was in libraries. (Had a meth habit at the time so wouldn't sleep often.) It was one of the best things to ever happen to me in many ways, after a while you get pretty mentally tough.

that feel when they find the fart radio

I can tell you are bullshitting.
You've been kicked out for making jenkum, haven't you?

...

And people mock the street shitters as if they're any better


You can't willingly drown, your body won't let you

Is keeping your shit in jugs the byproduct of a strange fascination or are you just a lazy faggot.