So I moved to my own place a while ago. How to buy toilet paper without the cashier and other customers laughing...

So I moved to my own place a while ago. How to buy toilet paper without the cashier and other customers laughing? I've been using kitchen paper until now because I'm afraid.

You're autistic and shouldn't be living on your own being this autistic

Just buy some shitrags washcloths at the dollar store.
Then you can just bleach them once a week and you can wipe your ass like a king.
It feels like wiping with a babby lamb.

Say you're buying it for a friend who has chronic diarrhoea, that's what I do. I change the place I buy it after I've been there three times.

Since you posted this again I honestly don't know how else user can help you. You could kill yourself.

What the fuck is this thread?

You're ashamed to buy toilet paper? the fuck?

Kitchen paper will clog your pipes. Pretty sure everyone has to shit sometimes so I doubt they will give a damn. Cashier see weirder shit on a daily basis. And if you're Pajeet and this is not the norm, I still think you have the high ground here.
If you have to go for an excuse, just say that it's for your chronic fapping disorder.

You could just poo in the designated streets then.

Dear user,
Nobody gives a shit about you buying toilet paper. They won't care if you buy it.
t. user

simple, you buy them at the same time as a whip, a length of rope, a box of needles, some chains and padlocks, a box of powdered talc, baby wipes and baby formula

the cashier will be swooned by such a turmoil that she will fail to notice the tp

dumbass

everyone poops, they dont care cause they have to do the same at some point, the first few times might feel weird but you get used to it because no one bats an eye, you know that cute girl you saw the other day yea she buys butt paper too

Hey OP, former cashier here.

I can confirm that we will laugh at you and give you a hard time when you're buying something embarrassing. After enough time, it's easy to tell that somebody isn't used to shopping by looking them in the eye.

My favorite tactic when I spotted some nerd trying to buy something weird was to stop them and tell them 'I'm sorry sir, but we can't sell this product to virgins. Do you have proof of coitus? Maybe you could call your girlfriend and we could talk to her?' They would get all flustered and lose their cool while I acted like this was the most normal thing in the world. Then I would call over my manager via intercom and he would give the guy a hard time too. 987 was the code for making fun of some dork, 309 was the code for a hot chick, these were the only two we ever used.

One time I had two managers there just berating some teenage spaghettifag trying to buy condoms until he turned red and literally ran out of the store crying. We all laughed our asses off and after a round of high-fives, they made me employee of the month for September. It was pretty great.

Just steal some toilet paper from the public restrooms, that's what I always do…

Comedy gold

I don't know what's worse. That you sound sincere or that my life is empty enough I actually feel better about myself for not being you.

Buy a bunch of brown socks instead, they'll never know!

I really wish this was true.

this

Order them online you fucking simpleton!

A perfect example of lower class social cannibalism.
A game where everyone is a loser.

I don't think I have ever heard someone laugh at that.

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This is a good answer.

You wash them once a week? Where do you store the dirty ones? Because that place is not going to smell nice.

get a plastic bag

eat a bag of dicks mate. Why would I want a bag full of shit covered towels in my house?

And yet you haven no problem wasting tissues cleaning up your jizz you fucking whore slut.

are you poor or something? who cares about tissues? Are you the kind of guy who washes a condom to use it again later?

you don't even need to wash it out. Just flip it inside out and there you go.

99.9% of us use toilet paper (the rest use a bedet).

First, pick small packages of each from a grocery store to chose your favorite. It's not embarrassing, be confident.

After that buy a shitload from from Amazon.com

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I think I'm sold on this shitrag concept.

Good taste

I don't believe anyone is this autistic. I mean I freak out about social shit, but that's just ridiculous.

Let's start with the sex shop principle, you shouldn't be embarrassed to go into a sex shop or purchase anything from one because the person selling it to you is there all day. He's the one who put the price on that porn and those dildoes. It would be like getting mocked by your roommate at an insane asylum, he's there for the same reason you are.

What's more, if you don't buy those items, it effects his livelihood, he depends on you buying that shit, so he's happy you're doing it.

Same applies everywhere else with every other product. They're doing a job, they don't care what you buy.

You're (fittingly) full of shit anyway, because I mean, everyone buys toilet paper, and even if you were autistic enough to be embarrassed by this, most big chains have self-check out machines these days. Just get your sperg ass to Wal-Mart.

Here, let me put this little thought in your head to dispel your issue. If you DON'T buy toilet paper, people are going to think you're a filthy fucker who doesn't wipe your ass.