Becoming rich

How much bullshit do I have to go through to become an investment banker earning a million?

How do you degree in banker?

Just get a small loan of a million dollars.

Thanks m8. I'll go ask my bank tomorrow.

A lot

Is there a step by step guide? Who do I talk to to learn banker skills?

I asked those same questions when I was living in London in the early 1990s.

Basically, the skills you need are energy, competitiveness, ruthlessness, guts, and it helps to be a sociopath. On top of that you need basic math, up to logarithms level.
So, if you were the kid who got an older kit to buy cigarettes for you, then you sold them individually at school for a huge profit, and you didn't come near to getting caught; you can be a banker.

I would imagine ass-kissing is an important skill as well.

Why you trying to destroy me?

Shkreli is making a nice investment course on youtube, check it

Bump

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This is exactly what I did.

don't marry dot reproduce.

you will get rich.

you can be a DINK and still be bankser-man, but no romantic relationships until you git gud at 40


you know computers better than quite a few master banksters already, that's why they have so many managers n shit

cut your genitals off and sacrifice your ability to create and understand emotions

become a money machine

I'm going to assume you know nothing about money here:

1. Make a budget. Determine exactly how much money each month you can save.

2. Live frugally. Cut out expenses that don't truly matter, and cut down on expenses as much as possible. Go through your bills (the biggest savings for me were in my cable/Internet bill, my phone bill, and my car insurance) and eliminate as much service as possible. Look at your grocery bills - if you're spending more than $150/month on food, you're doing it wrong. Can you negotiate for a raise, rent decrease, lower payments on anything?

3. If you have credit card debt (or any debt, really) you have an EMERGENCY on your hands. You fucked up and spent more money that you had, and now you're spending big money on fees and interest. Yeah, your budget says you have $500 leftover at the end of the month, and your minimum credit card payment is only $100, but you need to be putting that full $500 into your debts to decrease your cost of living.

4. Stop putting money into your checking/savings account. That money will never earn enough interest to outpace inflation, so every dollar in these types of accounts is losing its purchasing power year after year.

5. Start investing. Go sign up for an investment account with Vanguard and put every spare cent you have into a well-diversified index fund. Don't be afraid of stocks; yeah, they'll fluctuate a lot and you'll die a little bit inside when you first see your portfolio crash. In the long-term though, you are almost guaranteed to see huge gains. Index funds make this completely effortless, so read up on them. With SOME effort, you can do even better. Also read up on compound interest if you're not familiar with it.

6. Determine how much money you need to retire (i.e. live off interest alone.) The quick-and-dirty way to do this is to multiply your yearly cost of living by 25. Read up on different retirement calculations and guidelines. You will find that they're all dependent on your cost of living, so remember to keep your cost of living as low as possible so you can reach financial independence sooner.

That's how you get rich - slowly, and by living frugally and not putting your money into worthless accounts. You're welcome.

By the way, I'm a mid-manager at a restaurant making about $35k gross per year. I own my own house, and through living frugally and smart investing I'm completely debt-free and well on my way to retiring by 40, even if I never get a promotion or raise for the rest of my career.

All you have to do is become Jewish.

Side effects may include:

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I bought an apple for 5¢, spent the evening polishing it, and sold it the next day for 10¢. With this I bought two apples, spent the evening polishing them, and sold them for 20¢. And so it went until I amassed 80¢. It was at this point that my wife's father died and left us a million dollars.

You need to be Jewish, and you are Jewish by birth (you can convert to judaism, but you will be only a minion of Zion, a second class jew), sorry goy.

mmmmmmmmmiiiiiiiiiiilk

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here is a shocker, get ready kid

90% of the people in this forum. Will NEVER be rich.

That includes you.

Everyone thinks they are going to get rich when they get out of highschool or college.

Well guess what schlub. You will start with a shit to mediocre job, and keep working it, and maybe 20 years later end up with a half decent good job.
Meanwhile you will accumulate vast amounts of shit you don't need.
Which means you will spend all your hard earned sheckles on this crap
and leaving your average.

Look down your block. You think all those other assholes, said "gee. when i get out of school, i just want to be average"

They all thought as you did.

I know, shock to the system. Better to just accept the fact that you can become a sheeple, or a prison inmate. Which one is it?