Blade - re:View

Jack the cancer is back.
Press dislike.

But seriously i can't remember the last time i laughed on an RLM video.
They completely lost it.
It's dead Jim.

Do you remember the stream where Jack was saying that it would be a great idea if you had to link your internet identity to your SSN in order to leave a comment everywhere on the internet? I wanted to make a webm of that sequence but I can't find the stream (I forgot what game they were playing that day).

no but i can't say i'm surprised. i think he's a bernie bot so totalitarian ideas come naturally.

Mike also recommended that the government put chips in people in order to keep track of them, completely sincerely and without any hint of irony, and they all nodded along like it was a great idea, as though it was really "sticking it to the fundies. It was during Wheel of the Worst episode 11.
Rich was also in full support of Iron Man in that Civil War movie simply because he thought that their super powers should be kept in check by the government, ignoring all context from the films, its like he took a philisophical stand and ignored what was in the films at all.
Yeah they also said they were Bernie Bros, at least Rich was, they've probably just moved on to Hillary now.
In general they seem to label anyone who doesn't fully bend over to the government as crazy. They're disturbingly casual about the quite authoritarian ideas they throw out.

Just starting to see it and had to pause to complain with AIDS Moby shitting on swordfight and techno music.

Fuck you, I'm fucking tired shitstained uncreative hipsets shit on the 90s because it's 'dumb' and 'edgy'. Someone making a videoclip about yourself enjoying urination and defecation can't say a fucking thing.

I enjoyed the episode, but I'm kind of curious about their choice of Blade.

They neither seemed to love or hate it, and I thought that was the point or re:view. Praise great movies and shit all over horrible ones. This was more kinda "Eh, it had good points and bad points." I understand why it was an important movie though, it was kind of part of why the X-Men movies were such shit.

They did that once, as an April Fool's joke for Best of the Worst. It was just the two of them talking, and IIRC, a second pair of them show up so it's two of each, and then we see Rich standing in the background facing away like the guy in the corner in Blair Witch a few times. It was commentary on how they were the least popular and people would hate an episode with just them.

BRING BACK BEARDFAT!

(me)

I've found it, it was during a Bloodborne stream (webm)

good music tbh 👌👌

For fuck's sake… what a faggot. AIDS Moby has always been a SJW on his rotten core.

This song has been played neverending in discos in my country, this song and the Mortal Kombat one.

Techno was a really big thing in my country.

...

I don't know what's so compelling about Techno but I really like it.

It really shocks me that seemingly normal people can hold such extreme authoritarian views without ever thinking about the consequences.

It's some kind of americentrism.
Jack doesn't realize that his solution to "end harassment" would allow a government to send a lot of citizens to prison for wrongthink.

I like that word. Does that mean just seeing the world as America or just looking everything with you as the center of the universe?

Who knew

To be fair, who didn't like techno in the 90s?

yes.

I see…

both

>>>/cancer/
>>>/reddit/
>>>/gaschamber/
>>>/oven/

I remember that episode. I'm fairly certain they weren't being serious.

Normal weapons are kept in check by the government (since even in the US you need to be screened before being able to purchase one). Why the fuck it should be different with superpowers (which would make most weapons a moot point to begin with)?

There's a laundry list of reasons gun control doesn't work. Criminals by nature don't care whether or not what they're doing is illegal, areas with the strictest gun control have the most gun crime, etc. Hell, when they tried to get all the guns out of Australia, the rates of home invasion skyrocketted because criminals no longer had anything to fear if they just went in as a group.

However, the reason it's especially retarded in this case is because of who the power is being handed off to. Mike touched on it a bit in that review. Let's say the government was controlling the Avengers, what would have happened with the Sekovia situation? Ultron would have just destroyed the country. Then the board would in a gradual, bureaucratic way give them permission to act, and then the results would be exactly the same.

What's more, the people control would be given to have shown themselves not to be trustworthy. Don't forget, in the first Avengers film these were the people who nuked New York. The entire city would be a smoking crater if Stark didn't redirect the nuke through the portal. And the person they put in charge of controlling the heroes? Thunderbolt Ross. The guy who's been hunting Hulk across the planet trying to turn him into a controllable super weapon for the government, who ended up creating Abomination through his incompetence, and who in the comics eventually becomes Red Hulk himself in his desperate bid for power.

Just making Doctor Doom leader would have far better results, frankly.

I refuse to watch anything with Aidsmoby in it. Wtf are you doing, RLM?

Go fuck yourself Jay you fucking reddit cuck

I really liked this movie when I was thirteen. It's a little bit too edgy though which is a bad combination with how seriously it takes itself.

Rich is always serious now. He thinks everything he spews is gospel.

Mike was fuming at Rich's cuckoldry in the Civil War review.

This is pretty much everyone who watched Blade. It was awesome when I was a pot-smoking autist. Now that I'm just a regular autist it's not as good.

She really isn't

It'd be great that if his ID utopia got put into place then most people would still hate him and call him a faggot in the comments.

Who is Will Smith?

Don't forget Eddy Murphy!

I don't mind AIDS moby, the hate for him is overblown.

XD very funny Jack, can't wait to see you overract and mug like a jackass to everything on Best of the Worst next episode!

I first saw Blade in a 99 cent theater in a black neighborhood. Pretty sure I was the only white guy there, and everyone went fucking nuts during "that scene" when Blade got his sunglasses back. It was one of the funniest things ever.

I wonder what would've happened if Wesley Snipes got to do that Black Panther movie they were planning on doing in the 90's. How would've it changed super hero movies from that point on?

This is an user that actually got booty bamboozled by fucking Jack. Drink that in.

Go back and watch Xmen 3 and see how hot the original Mystique was then tell me you think JLaw is even on the same level

is jack the biggest cuck of RLM?

jay is passable, mike and rich are the only ones who aren't cucked.

Rebecca Romjin sure is a whole other league than Jlaw.

Yes, see pre-rec clips posted earlier in this thread

Mike is the only one who is funny, Jay is the only one whose opinions on films are even slightly worth listening to. Rich is annoying and and only funny when he fucks up and Mike makes fun of him, on his own he sucks, and his taste in films and games sucks.

Jay is merely a beta. He's not yet a cuck like rich or Jack but he is a beta and he's had to deal with this for a long time. In early HitB episodes he would react with discomfort at Mike's jokes and only later joined in when he grew some balls. Then he started working out and his balls dropped, finally now a man at the tender age of 30+. I think he's been losing gains and so he is once again falling into bad habits.

Merely Rich reached a new height of cuckoldry the likes had never been seen on RLM. Jack doesn't seem to possess an ounce of self-awareness at all. He's like an NPC and just follows the person closest to him but he will always default back to easily programmable traits like betacuckoldry.

Fucking this

And she had the discipline to deal with the makeup rather than wearing an awful looking bodysuit

WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE JLAW?!

Because she's so weird and funny! SO relateable!

I think after the fappening and some of her bitchy comments in recent years, the public opinion on her has soured. She's not totally gone but I doubt that she is as popular as she was say, over two years ago.

I'd say the luster have come off largely. At the begining she had the image of a quirky innocent girl-next-door and people liked that, but she has become such a diva she doesn't have fanatical fanbase anymore.

I'm actually fairly sure she has some sort of neurosis. I mean during the fappening we got over 200 confirmed nude selfies of her. Who saves so many selfies on a cloud without some kind of mental damage?

Jack is a clown, literally.

I dont know why yall keep shitting on Rich, he's nothing compared to AIDS Moby

I don't mind either of them, nothing but Mike would get real tiresome.

...

At least he's not this guy.

Compared to Mike who just likes Hollywood trash like Indepedence Day Resurgence and Jurassic World, while Jay is much better, still not great though

We had nothing but Mike and Jay with the others only appearing as characters on the show for a few years and it was fine.

they're both equally shit. I bet if Beardy shaved off his hair and beard we wouldn't be able to tell them apart.

I wish they would lower his mic so it doesn't sound like he's yelling with his high pitch voice every time he opens his mouth.

Beardfat is ok, he's a normal dude who comes to laugh at shitty movies.

Surely this can't be true if he's critical enough to sperg out that much over the prequels, that movie was utter garbage. I couldn't sit through more than 30 minutes of it and I still knew exactly how the rest of the movie was going to play out, also it was just propaganda after propaganda, Holla Forums would have a field day with it.

I think Mike is at a point where he's so worn down that he simply doesnt have standards anymore.
Nowadays he just shrugs at every movie at says "eh, it was okay i guess".
At some reviews Jays tries to interject but he's to much of a beta to really put up a fight against Mike.

Kind of a shame how that goes. It's like the people that feel they have to attach their name to everything they say online so that they can feel their comments are valid.

This seems to be brought up every time a RLM thread is created but it's true. I miss the days when Mike would just tear into soulless products like "Jack and Jill" and "What's Her Number?". Films like those would probably just make him go "meh" nowadays.

He did in the recent Blair Witch video, he shot down Mike's assertion that the movie should have explained more.

why the fuck is greentext not green anymore?

Did you miss Ghostbusters and the accompanying teardown of the outrage-driven marketing campaign?

Go to options and check box that says "Pepe colored quotes"

what are you talking about? it was always this color

in the Berenstain Universe at least

well I noticed the shade for the greentext is a bit darker.

I think that wasbecause Jay really liked BlairWitch and everything about the movie.

Considering how cheaply Blair Witch was made, do you think Jay secretly wishes he could ever make a movie like that instead of Space Cop?

While I enjoyed that one a lot more than most of their recent reviews, Mike dissection was still pretty basic. It doesn't help that he was pretty wasted about midway in, thanks to Aykroyd's vodka.

He actually did a better job in the "Scientist Man" video they released afterwards.

You live in a society that forces your kids to go to education camps for 12 years straight minimum and you expect them to have negative opinions on the people indoctrinating them?

It's not even some shitty Ancap argument, it's simply reality. The police protect them, the schools educate them and the welfare system gibsmedats them. They don't even consider taxes to be abnormal after all "Only 2 things are sure in life, death and taxes XD"

She was never even that popular. She was pushed by Hollywood but no one really gave a fuck. People thought she sold tickets but the Hunger games sold tickets by being battle royale your girlfriend wanted to see.

Its barely secret, he said he "wasted a year of his life" working on Space Cop during the commentary I think.
If you think about it RLM have never made a real movie, they're all been in-jokey and ironic films. They're basically extended youtube videos of just fucking about with random skits. Every movie that RLM have made has only appealed to their fanbase. Nobody who buys Space Cop isn't going to be familiar with the crew, they're all in on the joke. Even their pre-internet fame "films" like Gorilla Interrupted are injokey and filmed like they're just goofing around.
If you showed someone Gorilla Interrupted or Space Cop or Feeding Frenzy without context of who RLM is, they would turn it off in the first 5 minutes because they are terrible without that level of irony and being in on the joke.
The only real film that Jay ever made was The Recovered which he said was shitty years later so I think they are too afraid to do something that isn't an in-jokey ironic film. Like they think that low budget means you have to be ironic and just make shit, despite great films like Primer are made with only 10k and are really good. They're afraid of taking a risk and making something that sucks so they're just play everything ironically, which is the most cowardly form of film making in my opinion.

Just yesterday i noticed that the Ghostbuster review has more than double the view than any other Half in the Bag episode, getting close to one million views.
I know the Scientist Man video was mentioned in some articles including even Variety, but where did the Half in the Bag episode get shilled to receive that many views?

I actually kind of liked The Recovered.

Here and 4/tv/. And from there, Facebook and Reddit.

I haven't seen it, I think Jay mentioned in an early Half in the Bag episode (I think the one reviewing a film with the other Olsen sister in a horror film, which I think was alongside John Carter) that they weren't focused on story in The Recovered so much as just doing visuals and they were both kind of lacking, and in the Halloween 2014 Best of the Worst episode he mocked how the film ended with a "gunshot fade to black" cliche, so, in my opinion, I think he doesn't think very much of that film and is what is stopping him from trying another more serious film.
I would like to see them try to make a film that wasn't just in-joke ironic schlock trash like Gorilla Interrupted/Space Cop or a blatent homage film like Feeding Frenzy, as in they try to make a film that stands on its own feet, could be either a comedy or horror or whatever, if they made something that wasn't so tied to their internet personalities which can only be enjoyed ironically, then I would have more respect for their film making.

Apparently r/movies deleted links to their Ghostbuster reviews for being sexist, so that censorship is probably why they blew up a little bit more, plus movies they rip into are more fun and get more views, their Batman v Superman review got really popular too and they ripped into that too.

...

He's clearly a well medicated sociopath

RLM has the same problem AVGN does. They made their name being silly over the top memefests so if they try and branch out of that they will lose their current audience and have no promises of gaining a new audience.

They're pigeon holed into making shit, if they stop making shit their users will just go find more shit.

Damn he aged like shit, did he get aids in jail?

They aren't capable of making a good low budget kino mostly because almost no one is.

I mean how many good films are out there that were made with 100k and change??

Unless you think studio funded million dollar "indie" films are actually what they're capable of

A lot of people seem to forget just how old these guys are. I'm an oldfag for these forums and yet the RLM crew is like 10 years old than me

I was still in elementary when BWP came out and most of you niggers werent even born yet but jay mentions he was in highschool, 17 iirc

These guys went to film school but never managed to get in the industry, now they are way too fucking old and considering how little they actually done they literally need a miracle not unlike the success of BWP to go anywhere

Do you picture these guys in their early 50s doing these YT videos? I don't, nobody does

>>>Holla Forums

Their best bet IMO is to just make a movie based on their own lives: being fucking ancientfags doing jokes on the internet about more successful people who get to be able to make the movies they wished they could make

Thats the kind of shitty introspective crap sundance loves. If done right they might actually get a foot in the door at some major studio, even if they have to do some ferrely bros. level shitcomedy before getting bigger

This is why 1984 and history of the USSR should be taught in schools everywhere

Jack is a retard, but you're getting asshurt by him making fun of you, you're no better than him getting triggered by Jlaw comments.

What are you talking about, he's 54. He aged like Wine.

Exactly

Shane Carruth's Primer was made for around 7k and is one of the most complex and interesting time travel films around, and his second film Upstream Color had a budget of 50k and is also great. Clerks, Pi and El Mariachi had small budgets too and were good films (sure there's inflation differences but the general idea is the same).
You probably can't make all time classics and kino with a small budget but you can develop skills and a backlog with a small budget that will get you noticed and allow you to work with a larger budget later.

Didn't Mike drop out of film school?
You say that, but Doug and the rest of Channel Autism are rapidly approaching their 40s and they don't seem like stopping, despite the fact they've looked like crashing for a while. I can't picture it but they'll probably be doing the same shit because its easy money.

so thats the video the pic is based on. Its awful and its apparently meant to be an educational video for children.

No one likes Miss Piggy. She sucked the weinstein's shriveled cut dick for fame and fortune. That's the source of her "popularity."

Mike completed film school. Jay dropped out because he was in his elitist phase, idolizing Cuckatino harder than he does these days.

So a few years difference? Did you just start elementary school? I was in 8th grade when the movie came out, that's only one removed from "high school". Unless he was a senior or junior and you were in first or second grade you wouldn't be 10 years younger.

Russia?

Why do you keep posting here?
It's either the fat bearded muh-patriarchy fedora tipper or the bald AIDSmoby marketing genius.

Fuck off no one cares about RLM

I want to tenderly love Jay in the butt

...

That would explain a lot.

wait he actually is one?

Yes. Also if you write "gullible" in the name field it actually sages your post.

fair enough

blade was better than these capeshit fags are willing to admit, probably one of the top 5 capeshits despite a lot of 90s nonce.

It also kicked off this whole capeshit train as they point out

Wesley AKA Darkness had more presence and filled the role better than any other prominent capeshitter outside of maybe the second punisher Ray whatshisface (but that movie was complete shit even by capeshit standards and the punisher was barely in it so its kind of a moot example)

If you are still watching capeshit there is literally no reason to stop, in fact I suggest freebase

Did it now? I would say Xmen and Spiderman kicked it off.

I'd say Blade had a role in it. With Blade they decided to do Xmen and it kicked off the superhero stuff. With Spiderman they decided they could go all crazy with it.

it was the first capeshit where they realized that they could actually make money with this shit, a trial baloon if you will, spiderboy probably wouldnt have happened if blade had flopped, they point this out in the video