Jizz Cuckman's review of Warcraft

I just read the plot synopsis on wikipedia. Jesus Christ.

more like everyone with standards or any ability to critically think left Blizzard to rot.

wait, medivh isn't even possessed in here?
what the fuck is the story of the movie then?
orcs vs humans?
they seriously didn't just remake the guardian of tirisfal into a movie? that would be a lot better than orcs vs humans all over again

but didn't you hear?

orcs vs humans is what the franchise is about! all the interesting stuff is just filler

god damn it, i was gonna go and see the movie this sunday with a friend
i knew i was gonna be disappointed, but this is a whole new level of lorewashing

Because internet movie reviewers like to think they are being more open ended and original when they give some long winded point counter point ending in a shoulder shrug, rather than just saying if the movie was good, bad, or somewhere in the middle.

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Wc3 and frozen throne are great you fgt

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nah, the hero system ruined it

reading local torrent site comments:
Fucking plebs

streaming Warcraft (10min in) @

come hang out and chat

He have the shittiest taste of movies I've ever seen. And can't say anything bad on any movie apart when he does his memetorcity.

non-warcrapfag here, just saw the movie with people who obsessed hard over the games and lore.

they all thoroughly enjoyed it, i was amused but found it to be generic fantasy trash.

i see where they were going with the "if you're the orc leader you can make peace" because the obvious plan was to have her call a truce and claim the king died by other means and not her hands, but that was ruined by lothar trying to join the fight, he only came upon the corpse of his king, and so the alliance was created.

no need to worry you nerds, there's the tower fight and medivh is possessed by a demon thingy.

this is the important part here

If you only played WoW, you most likely are all over this trash. If you still actively play WoW, you are definitely the kind of retard who would be all over this shitstorm of a disaster that calls itself a film.

Pretty much raping the lore and retcon anything of interest of value for the sake of Christ Metzens throbbing erection for Orcs.

Fucking Garona looks like shit, gets asked by the King to kill him. Because fuck established lore we need to make the Orcs sympathetic.

This film needs to burn. I hope this film tanks in fucking china so we never get a sequel to this trash.

Yeah the orcs would totally give up their ways of war for peace.

This was meant to be warcraft. You know, about war.
It might be 12 years too late to complain about this, but the forced peace into everything lore related is plain stupid.

Bad news for you pal:

variety.com/2016/film/news/warcraft-box-office-china-record-1201792239/

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A reminder Furious 7 got like $380 millions in China.

Holla Forums BTFO again!

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He gobbles down the dick of the movie so hard.

how do these youtube fucks have fans? they're all so interchangeable with their basic analysis and shit taste.

Good Bad Flicks usually reviews obscure movies.

It's Cuckman and Jeremy Jahns who are completely interchangeable.

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WoW hasn't even been out for 14 years.

I thought the reason the King told garona to kill him was that he was going to die anyway and that she might as well save herself. Maybe make a name for herself and change some minds. He didn't think she withhold just instantly become leader. I mean he saw what happened to durotar

movie was boring.

I liked it.

I hope there's a sequel.

I'll pay to see that one in IMAX too.

i feel you friend
there was tons of lore rape and shit character
but in comparison to the current state of the game, i still enjoyed the movie thoroughly

more like WeW, amirite?

I feel like the director did the best job with what there was. It was as good a place as any to start in the lore (especially if we want 3+ movies), it was set up perfectly for a sequel, and it did a good enough job of telling a story, that, quite frankly, has lore that is a mile wide and an inch deep. I mean, let's be honest, Warcraft lore, while very interesting in some places, isn't deep at all.

The movie was fine, and anyone who says it isn't, isn't interested in the fantasy genre or at least isn't interested in Warcraft in the slightest.

I don't know what they were trying to do with this movie. It wasn't a trainwreck, but it was definitely bad.

None of the characters are properly developed, the guardian who's supposed to be the guy that keeps the realm from going to shit is the one who caused it, but no reason is ever given. (Why would Medivh fuck around with fel magic when there was simply no reason to do so? Let me guess, he was "corrupted") Medivh is a shit sorcerer and an asshole in general, too. PG-13 so you don't even get any decent fight scenes. (Although one of, if not the only, good scenes in the movie is a fist fight between the evil orc sorcerer and the orc protagonist). Terrible CGI in many places. Orcs are dumb niggers. (This is pretty close to their lore though, right? They all act tough but when the fel orc kills 3 out of thousands of their horde they all start sucking his cock when they were about to rebel not 15 seconds before.) The baby orc who I assume is Thrall is treated like Jesus/Moses in an insultingly overt way, and the humans/elves/dwarves are literally fucking useless and get steamrolled the whole movie through, by bickering and green niggers. The ending didn't make any sense. I'm no lore expert but either this was a slap in the face to true Warcraft fans, or Warcraft was never good.

The biggest sin though, is that they didn't make the movie about Arthas Menethil's rise and fall, which is one of the few things the Warcraft universe has done right. That was all I was thinking about while watching the movie, the wasted potential.

Stop right there pleb scum.

Being a blizzdrone cannot clear those issues from the movie.

Lorewise Medivh is corrupted while his mother fights sargares, while pregnant. Here that wasn't mentioned, it was simplified down to

And don't you wore. This movie made cash, so now they can shit out a thrall movie and probably more after that.

Its practically impossible to have a major YT channel now without being part of a production company…….

And no production company will risk losing shill money which is what keeps the lights on since CPM rates these days are atrocious

the gameplay is fine but every blizzard story is schlock.

It was okay.

That ending fight was awful.

5/10

I actually didn't mean to quote anyone there

what, you don't like how literally every single villain is only evil because they were corrupted?

I'm new to Holla Forums what are your views on Stuckman?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

Is the liquid disappearing before he even drinks?

He's ok.

Because this wasn't until much later in the story, dipshit. Warcraft 1 was literally called Orcs and Humans.

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at least he's honest

I don't get the meme hate, I'm willing to give the movie a chance when I can download a bluray rip because it's something different.

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I feel like the first thing I would've done is say, Live Action Warcraft? WTF, a CG movie will look way better.

But now we just have this stupid awkward CG/Live action movie.

have you seen the CG they used? 'better' is not a word I'd use about it

I gave the movie a chance. It's not awful, it's not great. They fucked up the lore but had some nice visuals.

It's like when you are hungry and not in the mood to make some good food and just by mcdonalds because you just want something in your stomach. the movie. It was nice in imax

I just got back from watching it, I thought it would be the worst movie ever made, instead it's the second best video game movie ever made. I'm probably going to watch the sequels, I'm probably going to spend my hard earned cash at the box office to watch the sequels as long as they don't cuck up the Warcraft 3 storyline I'm probably not gonna care, I already expect The Frozen Throne ending to be shat up to the extreme.

pleb-tier opinion kid

where has this comic been all my life

This. StarCraft: Brood War was the last good game Blizzard ever made.

You've got terrible taste. WarCraft III was an awful mix of unsatisfying RTS gameplay and shallow RPG mechanics. On top of that, it completely lacks the ominous atmosphere of the early games (mostly the first one) and screws up the lore and worldbuilding (like the introduction of faggy new races and turning the orcs into corrupted noble savages, though I think the latter element might have started in WarCraft Adventures). The first game may have had a generic fantasy setting ripped from Warhammer, but at least it had a foreboding moodiness to it.

WarCraft III had some nice modding and map editing capabilities, but was otherwise a yuge disappointment and a total failure as a WarCraft game.