Seriously, what's up with all these fucking Hollywood pedos?

You ever realize your post is a mistake the second you hit the New Reply button?

No, listen to me. If fucking children is so bad then why does everyone do it? My father was dating my mother when she was 14, and he was 22. I don't know a single girl I was in school with that didn't lose their virginity before high school.

So all the chads had the opportunity to fuck little girls, but I don't? And even though plenty of men have done it in their life time they'll still judge me for wanting to? Where's the justice?

At the end of the rope you spend the last seconds of your life twitching and defecating yourself on.

Maybe you should go fuck some kids and find out why everyone does it.

Some of you might remember Lori Beth Denberg, she was the fat chick from All That and Figure it Out. You know, the one that usually played loud and obnoxious characters. While she was an original cast member, she wasn't one of Dan Schneider's original picks. He had originally picked another girl to have that spot in the cast; a pretty, blond 11 year old. The girl's parents were reluctant to sign the contract to allow their daughter to be on the show, which was putting a hold on filming. Nickelodeon was getting really antsy about it though, but Schneider was dead set on having this girl (and "having" this girl). The studio eventually said enough is enough, and told him to forget about the girl. They instead insisted that because it was too late to start up auditions again, that he had to use Lori Beth, who pulled from the auditions they were doing for another show.

The thing about Dan "do cocaine off of that can" Schneider though, is that he couldn't forget about that little blond girl. He was so close to tappin' that, and it slipped out of his greasy sausage fingers. It pissed him off even more that he was saddled with that fat pig, Denberg. He remembered that and would take it out on her for her entire tenure at Nickelodeon. He would constantly write her the most annoying and unflattering characters, and generally treat her poorly while filming. That wasn't even the worst of it though, there was something far more sinister going on behind the scenes.

Early on in the show's run, there was one sketch where Denberg was required to say a long list of items in a rapid fire manner. She kept flubbing the lines and laughing about it, which made Dan furious. He stopped filming for the afternoon and invited her, as well as Kenan and Kel to come to his office and rehearse in private. He offered the kids sodas, but had slipped roofies into Lori Beth's drink. Before long, she was out of it, passed out on Dan's couch. He then went over, spread her legs and signaled to the boys.

"Well, go ahead. She's all yours."

Kenan and Kel just looked confused.

"Jesus Christ, spit roast that white bitch! FUCK HER!"

Kel, raised in a strict christian home, was appalled by the idea. Kenan though, wasn't too popular with girls because of his weight and was all too willing to go along with it.

Schneider tried his best to bargain with Kel, saying that if he went along with his wishes, that he would make the kids stars. He'd get them their own show, movies, anything.

Kenan asked if he could get them on Saturday Night Live, of which Dan guaranteed.

Elated, Kenan then begged Kel "Come on, man! Let's split this bitch in two! Kel, however, still refused. As punishment, Schneider locked the door and made him watch in disgust as his friend went to town on the passed out girl, while Dan masturbated in the corner.

"Your going to regret this, son." the fat pervert said as he cleaned his dick with the girl's shirt. "Kenan here is going to be a star, and you'll be nothing. A washed up nobody who's lucky if he gets a role in a TV movie."

For the record, thanks to Schneider pulling some strings, Kenan did end up getting a role on Saturday Night Live, and has been on that show for years. Kel, on the other hand, can barely get any work, only landing roles in SyFy original movies. To this day, Schneider makes sure of that. While the two did have a movie and their own spin-off show, he tried his best to keep Kel out of it. He insisted that the kid was a one note actor and wasn't funny. Nickelodeon though, loved him and he was popular with audiences, so they made sure he stayed.

This wasn't the end of the story though. A month later, Lori Beth was constantly sick on the set, and after a visit to the studio nurse, she was found to be pregnant. This wasn't the first time a young girl at Nick was found to be knocked up (or the last, just ask Jamie Lynn Spears), so the nurse consulted with Dan first, to see if it was his doing.

They pulled the girl aside and told her what was going on. He was blunt with her, telling her exactly what happened. He then gave her an ultimatum

"Listen, here are your options, you stay quiet, and we get you a quick abortion, no one is none the wiser. If we do that though, you then become my bitch. You do whatever I want! No questions asked. You do that, and I also make sure you stay on this show. Your other option, is you can go and blab all about it. By doing that though, you have to tell mommy and daddy that your insides were torn asunder by the big black cock, and you have a little nigger growing inside of you."

Hoping to put it all behind her, she agreed, got the abortion, and made a deal with the devil.

She continued to appear on All That for the next five seasons, but the torture would continue. Any time she messed up a scene, Dan would lead her and Kenan (regardless of if he was in the scene or not) into his office and force them to fuck. All That was famous for having a lot of musical guests, mostly hip hop stars. She would be regularly pimped out to them, and they'd be told that NOTHING is off limits.

Five years and three abortions later, she left the show and never had much of a career after that. Dan "Lead them to my trailer, lock them up like a jailer" Schneider made sure of that.

There are countless stories just like this. There's a legacy of horror at Nick thanks to Danny boy. Kel had written about it in his tell all book "Aw Here it Goes! The True Story of the Slime On and Off the Camera at Nickelodeon." Viacom (Nick's parent company) got word of it, and their lawyers made sure the book would never see the light of day.

Dan Schneider must be stopped.

Girl want to fuck him.
Men want to be him.

Dan Schneider is the man.

When you can have anything you legally want at any time of day you get bored of it. You need a bigger fix, you need to try something more degenerate and that you can't just buy. Fucking kids is the ultimate on this scale.

Alternatively men like young fertile women. It fucks up a kid to be giving birth before about 14, but from then on it's fertile breeding time in the instincts of most men. We just understand it can lead to psychological problems so we push men away from it

is this cannon?

He's not a pedo, he's just an ordinary tv producer who only makes shows about young girls, and likes hugging them and taking their shoes off. This is just standard industry practice.

No, this is Cannon.

This, chans have become filled with stormfags who are also moralfags and normalfags. Thanks Holla Forums. Fucking children would be p cool but not rape. I hope hollywood treats these little girls tenderly.

Being a unironic Nazi isn't very normalfag user. Holla Forums is pretty shit these days but normalfags they aren't.

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Just modern day prostitution in hollywood.
It start with parents willing to sell their kid's honor for cash.

is that poop coming out of his head supposed to be hair

And people were saying Jim was banning them left and right.

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I agree, I'm a nazi myself who sees nothing wrong with fucking 12 year olds. Whites are on a decline, there is no need to wait until 30 before having sex with a girl.

Sad to see the rest doesn't agree with me even though age of consent under Adolf was 14, but that doesn't stop these retards from saying sex should wait for some bogus optimal breeding age at around 26

The Jews have done a fine job at making whites demonize sex, while encouraging it for everyone else

How about I fuck you?

Dan Schneider?
Dan "Because of me they are no longer tighter" Schneider?

platinum mad

I'm fucking dying.

fam…

The whole point of the joke is that modern Holla Forumstweens think they are "edgy counterculture" but are really just normalfags spouting safe, harmless "pseudo-rebellious" doctrine.

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is this man a pedophile rapist?

dan is the most based fat kike on earth