James Bond

Ermmmm….. Goldeneye?

On Her Majesty's Secret Service is the best.

From Russia with Love, Goldfinger, The Living Daylights, License to Kill, Goldeneye, and Casino Royale are the runners up.

All the 70s Bond movies are shit, but by the 80s Roger Moore's movies got so over the top campy they became enjoyable in their own right.

Goldfinger's probably the best place to start if you've never seen any of them. I'd watch at least that before you watch On Her Majesty's Secret Service, you won't enjoy it as much if you haven't seen some of the other movies and gotten familiar with Bond.

is that the one where Bond gets married but then his wife dies on the way from the church?

Yes

The first three movies-Dr. No, From Russia with Love, and Goldfinger-are the best.

That being said, North by Northwest is better than any James Bond movie.

Start with the Sean Connery movies, either From Russia With Love or Thunderball, it'll give you an idea of the classic James Bond movies.

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Just watch Dr No then stop.

Just start with the original Dr. No and go from there. The camp starts creeping in at no.5, You Only Live Twice, but depending on your tastes it might not be a big deal. As long as you don't mind the pacing of old movies, they're all entertaining enough in their own way, aside from the most recent ones.

Either don't bother with Craig's movies or only touch Casino Royale. The rest of his films are varying degrees of a mess, with problems like not wanting to be Bond anymore, shitty writing/action, and Craig acting like action movie man than Bond. Casino does that too, but I'll give it a pass since it was technically trying to be a prequel. His character just meanders the next three movies, so it falls flat.

What was the one shitty bond movie with the guy playing bond only once? Cant remember the name

Timothy Dalton

He should at least watch Goldfinger.

Thunderball is shit. It's just endless swimming scenes.

The book as written would have made a perfect movie. They made the worst possible movie that they could out of that book.

If he wanted Bond for the story, he would've asked about the original books, which are vastly superior to all the films.

The Bourne Identity

Watch from the first one, stop after Goldeneye. Casino Royale was ok.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service?

start at the beginning and watch all of them

I hate you so much, but I can't help but partly agree.

That's because of that kike Kevin McClory who ruined that movie and did that shit remake in 1983, plus he also took the rights for Blofeld and SPECTRE with him.

once again Holla Forums shows their shit taste.

yeah thunderball is seriously overrated

PIERCE BROSNAN WAS THE BEST BOND

Just start at the beginning. They are fun spy-movies. Dr No is decent, nothing particular, Thunderbolt is better.

My all time favourite is Living Daylights though.

James Bond movies glorify deep state psychopathy. Fuck 'em all.

Living Daylights is great. Dalton was severely underrated as Bond and anyone who says otherwise doesn't know shit.

watch them all OP, EXCEPT-

Moonraker
Die Another Day
Any Craig movie except Casino Royale

Oh boy, that was the first bond movie I saw. Cant remember a single thing about that piece of shit except that madonna sang the intro and there were jetskis

moonraker is fun because of that Quentin Tarantino look-alike guy
skyfall is decent
I'll give you Die Another Day, that was shit

Thing is that, ironically, Never Say Never Again is a much better Thunderball adaptation. At least in that one Bond has something approaching a character.

When I got into watching the pre-Dalton-Brosnan films after reading all of Fleming's books, I was actually quite surprised to find out how flat movie Bond is.

I like this

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Goldeneye and Tomorrow Never Dies were good. The World is Not Enough was okay. Die Another Day was outright garbage.

wew

George Lazenby

Legit best Bond.

I never got why people don't like Die Another Day.

It was campy goodness, sure the plot was a bit much, but the car battle scene is amazing.

I enjoyed it up until the ice palace part, then it just became complete shit.

I agree.

this, the invisible car, and the surfing scene

just awful

Moonraker was enjoyable enough because of the metal mouth autist.

Die Another Day is like a failed experiment. Its failure is almost adorable when you realize what they set out to do.

It was a botched attempt to reject the grey and gritty action movies that were coming from all over the place in a post-9/11 atmosphere. I almost want to respect it for what it was trying to do but the execution was laughably bad. Some parts work but it feels like everyone was off in their own world making it.

The car battle is clearly where 90% of the director's effort went. The rest of the film is so lazy by comparison.

Although, it had Rosamund Pike and she was hot, so I can't completely hate the movie.

I'd flip that. I like TWINE better than TND.

moonraker is underrated
campy bond in space in the same movie where dufour gets run down by dogs, it really has some bold tonal shifts

Start with the originals if you've got time.

The best is OHMSS and the two Dalton films (he's also the best Bond hands down). GoldenEye and Goldfinger are also up there.

The worst films are the Moore era and anything Brosnan after GoldenEye. Also the 2nd and 4th Craig films (Quantom of Solace and Spectre). Skyfall is overrated but not terrible.

why does my generation love austin powers but hate the roger moore films? fuck my generation

are you autistic?

60's movies were god-tier.
70's movies were meh-tier.
80's movies were WTF-tier.
Brosnan movies were basically a schizophrenic mix of campy and grimdark which somehow managed to be fun.
Craig movies are shit-tier borefests. I barely finished Skyfall, and never made it through Casino Royale.

Or for a better list of what's worth watching (in chronological order, bolded are definitely don't skip):

1. Dr No
2. From Russia with Love
3. Goldfinger
4. You Only Live Twice
5. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
6. Thunderball (2-3 iconic scenes but skippable if you're just after good films)
7. The Man with the Golden Gun (it's fun and Christopher Lee is as good as ever).
8. The Living Daylights
9. License to Kill
10. GoldenEye
11. Casino Royale (new one not the 60s comedy)
12. Skyfall, perhaps, but again I think it's overrated.

That also gives you one for each actor.

mike meyers is an unfunny hack

The Moore films that are worth watching are the ones that embrace the camp, Golden Gun being top.

I was trying to keep this list short but Tomorrow Never Dies should probably go on there as a non-essential film. It'd be right after GoldenEye.

How do you finish Skyfall, but not make it through Casino Royale?
Yeah, Casino Royale was pretty boring overall, but Skyfall was just straight up garbage all the way through.

Actually Thunderball was supposed to be The Spy Who Loved Me. The Lotus and the Union Jack parachute are worth it alone.

Don't watch Thunderball unless you like being unable to see anything during the action scenes and like fucking retarded plots.

oh I completely agree. austin powers was a roger moore ripoff where they explained all the jokes

Fair enough. I've never really got Austin Powers either to be honest.

But speaking from 'what's a good Bond film' as per the OP the only good films from Moore were The Spy Who Loved Me and Golden Gun.

If we instead ask 'what's a fun film to watch' things like Moonraker are fine. They just feel out of place otherwise.

I watched Skyfall first, when I wasn't really familiar with the Craig films, and I think I only stuck with it because I kept hoping it would get better. With Casino Royale, all the goodwill was already gone, and once I realized it was basically the same shit, I checked out. Plus Vesper Lynd was fucking annoying, and the sappy shit they had going on with her and Bond was puke-worthy.

yeah I guess moonraker would be a pretty confusing start

And if you started with Moonraker how would you understand the all important plot point of Jaws finding love?

But really I find it works much better as a film if you're slightly drunk and/or high while watching. Everything suddenly clicks.

I'm so sorry user.
Imagine that being your first Bond movie ever. It would probably ruin the rest of the series for you just by association.

Skyfall was heavily reliant on the meta 'deconstruction' shit also. I think that's why so many liked it the first time around and started to dislike it more when watching it again as a standalone thing without the hype marketing had built up.

yeah I was actually thinking specifically of that too
I dunno though, bond is such a well-known icon people might enjoy it in the same way that normies like The Voyage Home

Start with the Bourne identity

By deconstruction are you referring to giving bond a family history? Or some advertising campaign shit I'm not aware of? I'm pretty confused that people gave that movie good reviews

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The Voyage Home is an interesting comparison. It's possible to enjoy both it and Moonraker as a sort of spin-off if you're a fan of the series as a whole but I'd agree that coming into them without that background loses something. It just isn't as fun to watch them acting silly without the serious as a comparison. And faggots who don't understand shit about trek love The Voyage Home and keep pushing the 'even numbers' meme despite Trek 3 and 5 being fine.

It's hard to give a proper definition but it's the new trend to rely heavily on meta elements in a plot and 'deconstruct' how the previous films treated Bond and indeed M. Spectre went even more heavily into it but the whole 'field work is outdated, Bond is muh old fashioned misogynist' and so on.

If you're into vidya think of what Spec Ops the line sold itself on and you've got deconstruction.

It leaves you with a product that spends its time bitching about better work done in the past but is completely unwatchable without that better work as a reference.

Bold is only for the best of the best faggot.

Half of that list is already bolded.

Still I also have a special place in my heart for Golden Gun.

And again I'm going to mention that Thunderball was supposed to be The Spy Who Loved Me. I always get those two mixed up for some reason, probably the underwater shit.

oh okay, I read the pokes about misogyny as more or less window dressing, a Bond film without some kind of this treatment would seem very anachronistic (and in the end Bond's good old-fashioned ways save the day). but I found the computer hacker plotlines and focus on Q truly bizarre.

This is the main reason Skyfall felt like some retarded CSI fanfiction level of insanity to me.

I mean if you think about it they actually did a better job of capturing hacker culture in goldeneye

Old movies (not just Bond ones) didn't treat hacking like some mystical voodoo shit, that's why. Nowadays IT culture is "cool", so you have all these normalfags who don't know shit writing all these "cool nerd" characters who aren't cool at all, and are just cringe-worthy pretentious smart-asses.

Brosnan's films did updating sincerely. It felt natural to call him an outdated relic of the Cold War and things like pulling back on smoking/drinking/womanisng worked. Hell they even managed to stick a 'strong' woman in that wasn't forced in Tomorrow Never Dies.

Craig's films have an impression of feeling they're better than the past films even while they shamelessly rip them off.

My point on the strong woman part was how forced the bitch in Spectre was. I mean Bond literally says 'I don't have to protect you at all' at one point.

Competent women are fine, pandering is not.

You know what? You faggots have convinced me.

Better list (again bold = unmissable, in chronological/should watch order):

1. Dr No
2. From Russia with Love
3. Goldfinger
4. You Only Live Twice
5. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
6. The Spy Who Loved Me(2-3 iconic scenes)
7. The Man with the Golden Gun (it's fun and Christopher Lee).
8. The Living Daylights
9. License to Kill
10. GoldenEye
11. Tomorrow Never Dies
12. Casino Royale (new one not the 60s comedy)
13. Moonraker (watch it last to provide a nice end to the boring Craig films)

Now for the real question:

Best and worst film and best and worst Bond. Ignore 60s Casino but count Never Say Never.

I'd put From Russia With Love in bold over Goldfinger. Goldfinger is incredibly overrated.

It's by no means absolutely awful but it's pretty shit. The best thing it did was contribute a 2Pac sample.

Best Film: OHMSS, Living Daylights is a close second.

Worst Film: Spectre. There are, perhaps, films that are technically shittier but they at least tried to be fun and failed. Spectre is just up its own arse and is everything wrong with modern films rolled up into one package.

Best Bond: Dalton. Brosnan gets a special mention for being fucked over by poor films.
Worst Bond: Probably Moore

Licence to Kill did it so much better though

I'd agree actually but Goldfinger is essential to watch as it's what most will think of when you say Bond. Casino Royale also probably wouldn't be on there on quality alone but again it was a big moment and you need at least one film from each actor.

License to Kill (which is indeed a great film) wasn't trying to modernise the serious.

TND was a concious attempt to break away from the Cold War which GoldenEye still partly relied on hence the competent woman (and the pandering to the chink market but such is life).

There's no reason why you can't bold the first three. They form the foundation of the series.

It also gave us that one line in Futurama so I suppose there's that.

I would argue that it was. It wasn't a Bond for the 90s like Brosnan's but you see in Licence to Kill a clear move away from the Cold War and Cold War era politics. In fact, one of the criticisms of the film was that it was Bond going rogue and fighting Columbian drug dealers instead of the usual James Bond 007 being given a mission to fight enemy spies.

Arguably TND and Licence to Kill try to do the same thing, except in Tomorrow Never Dies instead of a drug baron you've got Rupert Murdoch.

From Russia with Love isn't essential to the later films nor particularly iconic in popular culture. Bolded films are there for those reasons if anyone can't be arsed to watch them all. Also if everything is bold it's kinda pointless.

Also You Only Live Twice would get in on its quality alone but it isn't liked so much for some reason.

Which line? The 'When I directed Star Trek IV, I got a magnificent performance out of Bill, because I respected him so much' and 'And when I directed Star Trek V, I got magnificent performance out of me because I respected me so much' line?

Are you serious?

It has the most iconic and most parodied title. It got made in the first place because the book was JFK's favourite book. From Russia With Love is pretty much the sole reason why Bond is even popular in America in the first place. The film is frequently referenced in other Bonds, off the top of my head it's referenced in Goldfinger, Die Another Day and Skyfall.

Probably because

A) People didn't take too kindly to Sean Connery doing yellowface
B) It being made before Secret Service arsed up the entire Blofeld trilogy in the films.

The Living Daylights had also started moving away from the Cold War though. It also hilariously has the Mujahideen as the good guys.

You're probably right though. Then again TLD/LTK were both also an attempt to return to the roots of a darker, less gadety Bond from the books rather than a pure modernisation as Brosnan's films were.

Both LTK and TND had better female characters than the shitshow that is Spectre certainly.

That's the one. It's a shame that such an episode nowadays would have been BBT-tier I LUV STAR TREK I'M SUCH A NERD instead of a fairly sincere look at why the show is so loved. Of course Nimoy is also dead now which wouldn't help matters.

I'd argue that it's still very rooted in the Cold War. The action begins when Bond tries to get someone across the Berlin Wall.

That was funny. Rambo III did the same thing, I think.

If you ask people now they really won't remember it to any degree. I'd recommend someone watch it unless they're a lazy faggot but if someone has to skip one that's the one I'm afraid.

I've more or less blanked DAD and Skyfall from my mind and wouldn't recommend them anyway. Where is it referenced in Goldfinger, out of interest? I've actually not watched it all that often.

Kek. I suppose having the UK control HK is a touchy subject politically too so that might contribute to a lack of re-runs.

That I hadn't considered. It's a shame it's so often overlooked.

The turn around to 'Russians aren't all that bad' with an American arms dealer was a pretty large change though. I did say 'started'. Arguably this was also a more book-style take on a story too. LTK moved on from that basis into a full on abandonment of a Cold War setting and gave us one of the best Bond films in terms of aging as a result.

It did indeed. Funny how films accidentally end up showing how such 'enemy of my enemy' tactics never work long-term.

Reminder that this webm is the future of James Bond as confirmed by the scumbag shit who played him in Die Another Day.

You really had to post it twice in less than 3 minutes?

Yes. You gonna do something about it?

James Bond movies are actually fairly boring. Nobody is going to admit this.

Good tastes but is important.

If you want a laughable bond film, I'd also suggest the last Pierce Brosnan one, with the North Koreans and diamonds.

Of Connery's six (seven if you count Never Say Never) I'd much sooner recommend people skip Thunderball or Diamonds are Forever than From Russia With Love.

From Russia with Love really is one of the best Bonds ever.

When Bond's captured by Goldfinger and he's on the plane he asks the flight attendant about his attaché case and the flight attendant says something like they threw it away.

It really was one of the best episodes of Futurama. If you're not a fan of Star Trek, which I wasn't when I first saw it, you can still hear the jokes and find them funny. If you are a fan of Star Trek and you know even a little bit about the behind the scenes stuff, then jokes like George and Walter having to share Melllvar's fan script or Shatner getting such a great performance out of himself in Star Trek V become all that much funnier.

Explain

That's only true for the modern Bond films though.

/thread

Bond films are generally shit.

Soundtracks are awesome, though

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indeed

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That's more laughable-sad than camp though.

The purpose of the list was 'Bonds you should watch' with bolds 'Bonds you should watch if you're a lazy faggot'.

From Russia was on the main list and both Thunderball and Diamonds were not.

I don't think it qualifies as something highly upsetting to miss then.

Again the films in bold were only for people who are wanting the bare minimum of Bond to the degree they can talk to people about it. The full list is preferred.

Futurama at its best was always working on two levels for the informed and the causal viewer. Second-run lost that second level and only went for the obvious jokes and Fry/Leela relationship things turned up to 11.

Some of the commentary in that episode on Trek being there for people when they're otherwise alone hits home too, depending on personal experience.

I actually like the spectre theme

Arguably the shittier films often have better soundtracks than the good ones.

Though I suppose the main theme is technically also the theme of Dr No.

The biggest problem is the faggot doing the singing. Replace him with a competent singer and we're good.

I know nothing about the guy singing

I'm not great on the terminology but he lacks the strength to sing such a song.

His name is Sam Smith and it's a common trend in his work. He always sings things designed for someone else, as it were. He's also an actual faggot as well as a figurative one for what that's worth.

Best theme coming through. :^)

The song Radiohead made was better. soundcloud.com/radiohead/spectre

Probably but the song used would have been fine with a better singer. Smith is a hack and would have butchered even the best of songs.

Also, being honest, Radiohead's song just isn't Bond enough. Better on a song v song level perhaps but it wouldn't fit particularly with how heavily they were leaning on nostalgia for older films with the Blofeld shit.

Most Bond films actually have very little action to them, and Bond tends to blunder around until he sleeps with a girl who winds up dying.

The Pierce Brosnan ones I've pretty much forgotten, except Sean Bean was good as always in whichever one he was in.

Quantum of Solace was absolutely terrible. Shaky-cam chase scenes.

I didn't mind Casino Royale for the most part.

You're thinking of GoldenEye there which is really the only good Brosnan film (and still not a truly great one). He was really fucked over by poor films which is a shame.

Everyone I've asked, myself included, can't even remember what happened in that film. Everyone recalls something to do with a train and one person managed to remember the 'it's all about the water' plot but that's it.

How can a film be so forgettable?

There was one kind of interesting scene at an opera where Bond says something into a headphone set during a secret meeting and like a hundred guys break for the exits.

But I don't remember what the hell it was about. Just lots of running.

Wasn't that in Spectre? Or did they just reuse the secret meeting shit again?

I think it's the film I remember the least of despite being the third newest which is fucking shocking. I also struggle to remember anything in Octopussy aside from that fucker dying to the face-hug, I suppose

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I can only remember Quantum of Solace by listing some of its scenes in order:

Fuck, that was harder to remember than I thought.

Basically did it again, although the one in Spectre was straight-up Illuminati/Freemason shit. Not even subtle at all.

Please tell me that's a parody.

I struggle to remember anything about casino royale and quantum, all I remember from casino is bond tied to a chair.

I don't know why Brosnan films always get shafted. Die Another Day, even if I enjoyed it, I can see the flaws, but Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies and The World Is Not Enough are no worse than any other Bond film.

Plus, The World Is Not Enough's theme song (>>325852) is absolute god-tier.

GoldenEye's better than, I'd say, the majority of Bond films.

It's got the epic scale of a Connery or Moore Bond film, but Bond himself is less a cardboard cut-out and more three dimensional similar to how he was in Dalton films. Having Sean Bean play the villain and making him a 00 that went rogue I think made for some great drama.

Also, Joe Don Baker as Jack Wade is probably the best Felix Leiter the films have ever had simply by virtue of his actually being Texan.

It was an alternate theme, sung by Johnny Cash. Broccoli wanted something more conventional so they did the Tom Jones Thunderball instead.

I'd honestly say GoldenEye was near perfect.

I like The World is Not Enough and would hold it in similar regard were it not for the opening that was 15 minutes way too long and Denise Richards, who cannot act and is painful to watch for any reason other than tits (for which you'd be better off watching Wild Things).

TND is fine enough (mostly carried on the back of the casting) while TWINE is about average but neither was particularly good and certainly not good enough to give Brosnan a fair chance to shine. I'd agree people seem to ignore the poor films from the Moore and Connnery era but that might be nostalgia as much as anything.

It's pretty damn good but that really doesn't improve the film.

That doesn't really make it a truly great film (9/10) though as a good 50% of Bond is pretty damn shitty. Good-Very Good (7.5-8/10) but not great though I'm fairly hard on what I'll call great. 8 is a damn good score in my book.

Both Brosnan and Sean Bean were fucking top tier definitely. Casting and acting all around was pretty good actually if you ignore the silly thigh crushing lady.

All I can picture from that is Bond the Cowboy so probably a good call.

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Fucking lazy shits.

It's amazing they had all that and none of it stuck. I really did mean it when I said nobody I know remembered shit all. Not even things that were bad.

It does sound like it belongs in a western.

Still a good song though

I had to seriously strain my brain to remember that shit, and I'm pretty sure I still missed a bunch of shit between Bond's buddy dying and the plane chase scene. I'm even remembering something about a shootout at a Mexican bar and M sending people to take down Bond because he's a loose cannon or some shit. The only reason I even remember this shit is because I must've seen Quantum of Solace about seven or eight times, mostly because my younger brother loves it for some reason.

The plot WAS about water, but I couldn't tell for the life of me what it was. Neither could I tell you the plot of Casino Royale or Spectre for that matter. Craig movies generally suck at making coherent plots.

Casino Royale's plot follows the book, although there's so much padding in there it's hard to tell. I was watching it couple of months ago and I think it took like an hour before Bond was anywhere near the casino.

Say what you want about Ian Fleming, he knew how to make a tight narrative.

Like that other user I know Casino Royale's plot but that could be because of familiarity with the books.

Skyfall suffered from the same problem come to think of it. Big intro, fucking nothing happening for an hour or so and very little pay-off for that wait.

Funnily enough, Spectre had the opposite problem - they rushed into the main plotline so fast that they ended up having Bond faff about for the middle portion of the film just to pad out screen-time.

Sam Smith actually starts out OK, even if a bit too high-pitched, and then just jumps into straight-up nasally faggot territory at the 30 second mark.

Having to bulk out their 'strong' female character didn't help the pacing issues either.

That part in Shanghai was the only good part of the movie, though.

The failure goes all the way to the theme song for the movie. When you think "Bond", do you think some shitty electronic pop music? No, you think of grand orchestral themes with a woman vocalist singing her heart out, or that one that one of the Beatles sang for.

It's sad when a video game that has as much to do with Bond as drinking a martini at the beach does gets the theme style better than an actual Bond movie. And this song was made specifically to copy the style of a Bond song.

The joke got old after the first movie, and they made like 3 more.

But shouldn't have been done, as there is literally nothing wrong with any of those.

RADIOHEAD?
Has the Bond series pussified enough to make those frauds a viable option?

dude Tom Jones and Duran Duran sang title themes, bond music has always been iffy

very titilating video

especially in the DVD version and not the shitty compressed youtube version, high definition is wonderful

The problem wasn't the intro the problem was the slump after it. Big intros are a franchise staple and all.

Nigger what?

Well the excessive degree to which 60s/70s/80s bond (and indeed book bond) drank and smoked would have fucked over his health. Womanising I've not got a problem with.

The point is more making him a believable 90s womaniser/drinker/smoker without turning him into a cuck. Brosnan managed that.

you are probably looking for 4chan

drinking and smoking aren't THAT bad for you
anyway sean connery never ran around much, that's what aston martins are for

To the degree bond was portrayed doing them they are. Granted you don't see much of his life outside of work in the films but the books show a little more of that and it isn't much better there.

Drinking, in particular, is actually worse for you if you keep it up to only somewhat excessive over a long time rather than binging majorly now and then.

Bond's said to have smoked like 70 cigarettes a day.

Ian Fleming died of a heart attack at 56 and people estimate that Bond would have a similar longevity.

I don't see the problem here, that's well past the useful age of a 00 agent, and well past any age we saw Bond on the big screen
plenty of heavy drinkers and smokers make it to 70 or so

* Watch the Connery films in order (plus Never Say Never Again)
* Watch OHMSS
* Skip ahead and watch the two Dalton films
* Watch the Brosnan films in order
* Watch the Craig films in order
* Never watch the Moore (absolute worst Bond) films

If OP wants to get the essence of Bond - both gritty and campy, dated and modern, in a bit more detail than "Watch these 3 moves", this would be my pick:
From Russia with Love - classic, a bit dated (in a fun way) and a bit more cerebral than these movies usual are, more of a spy thriller than an action flick.
Goldfinger - Perfect representation of what you think when you think James Bond.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - Top three movies material. New actor, something different. A bit more serious, but not gritty. Editing, action and music are something else.

(tbh I'd skip Roger Moore's films entirely, for being too goofy and formulaic; however here are two better ones)
The Man with the Golden Gun - Because Cristopher Lee and some very memorable locations. Try not to shoot yourself due to reddit meme characters.
For Your Eyes Only - Great locations, good girl and very comfy atmosphere in general.

A View to a Kill, The Living Daylights - Both Dalton films are top tier. They strike the balance between move Bond and book Bond. Everything is good in general.

GoldenEye - I'll be honest, I don't particularly like low budget 90s movie feel of it, but there are great scenes. Also everyone loves it so I have to recommend it due to peer pressure.
Die Another Day - Many people hate it because it goes full retard with Bond goofyness, but that's exactly what's great about it. Would definitely recommend for batshit crazy stuff such as surfing on a tidal wave of a gigantic space laser beam 10/10 stuff of legends

Casino Royale - It's a pretty great spy movie. As a Bond movie, it's debatable but it's still a great watch.
Skyfall - It's just a really well shot, great looking, spin on Bond (especially near the end) with pretty good action.

Absolute trash you should avoid like the plague:
Diamonds Are Forever
Live and Let Die
A View to a Kill
Spectre

I actually loved the films with Roger Moore's Bond. For starters, yes it was over the top but it's not like Sean Connery's Bond haven't gone over the top before. If you want a darker and edgier stuff, the Dalton stuff is good..I kinda like License to Kill.

I think the Camp Plane takes off as quickly as the pre-credits of From Russia With Love. It comes to a peak with Live and Let Die and The Man With The Golden Gun, the latter of which throws in some kung fu action and obsession with third nipples in a way that must have been inspiring for Golan and Globus.

Full disclosure, I have only seen them all up to Octopussy. I've only seen the newer ones involving Sony on cable but intend to give them a good look, long after the smoke has cleared.

Thunderball, Never Say Never Again, Casino Royale, and On Her Majesty's Secret Service are all entirely skippable. I'd take a look at the last one after the rest if you're still curious about how the Australian handled playing 007.

I forgot to mention that if you're looking for the best girls, they can be found in From Russia With Love, The Man With The Golden Gun, and The Spy Who Loved Me.

Can you explain what the fuck that's supposed to mean?

le loud obnoxious stupid fat american meme

That sounds like how the average foreigner sees us though.

He's good. He was also in Live and Let Die, and he doesn't stick out too much in either film, both of which are overflowing with camp.

Nothing will top the corkscrew stunt in the station with the slide whistle, possibly the greatest thing ever recorded to motion picture film.

but he was in a very rural area though (iirc)

He was a hilbilly sheriff in the ultimate mecca of all American rednecks, Bangkok, Thailand.

It wasn't subtle, but to be fair, nothing in the 70s Roger Moore films were subtle. They couldn't afford to be, what with the stiff competition from television.

you mean License to Kill, but I overall agree with your synopsis

I forgot to mention, watch the first three with the wonderful Criterion commentaries that have never to date been included with any DVD/BD collections. I can't find the MP3s, but they should be easy to find on the internet. To properly sync it up, I would recommend waiting until the moment gunbarrel comes onscreen.

They're a lot of wonderful insight, like most good commentaries are, but I can't for the life of me understand why they won't put them on the newer DVDs.

Post your favorite bond scenes of all time

vid fucking related

isn't there a silhouette sex scene in a tent in dr no?

Sean Connery: Gold medal
Roger Moore: Silver medal
Timothy Dalton: Bronze medal
Pierce Brosnan: Participation trophy
Daniel Craig: Dog turd

you forgot george lazenby ya dingus
also david niven if you're really feeling cunty

They each only did one movie. They don't count.

Has anyone even seen that Casino Royal? I'd watch it as a joke, but it feels like one of those unfunny jokes because the smugness and hipsterism necessary to do it is too cancerous even for reddit.

Holy shit I suppressed that from my memory. What shit.

Fixed.

sounds like a countable number to me

george lazenby should be the horse shit, he's taller

I actually really liked Goldfinger and Man with the Golden Gun.

fixed

...

Daniel Craig should be negative horse shit.
His movies have sucked so hard that they've dug a hole into the planet itself.
Only Casino Royale was remotely enjoyable, and even then it was only because the ball busting scene was hilariously retarded.
Because we all picture Bond having his testicles turned to paste when it comes to 007 movies.

Ftfy. Faggot sounds like a goddamn eunuch.

Bond is supposed to be the manliest motherfucker since Conan the Barbarian.

They turned him into a faggot in Piefall.

you mean to tell me that literal faggot who ripped off a tom petty song is a hack who has an inflated sense of ability? what a shocker

It's been a cable TV staple for as long as I can remember, but there are some pretty good sequences like the one at MacTarry Castle.

It's also got Orson Welles as Le Chiffre and Peter Sellers as some guy who's only in it for a few scenes because he bitched out over his jealousy of Welles. It's not nearly as painful as Never Say Never Again or Thunderball, but only if you know what yo're getting into. It feels about twice as long as it really is. I'd watch this after Never Say Never Again and the Climax! adaptation of Casino Royale.

Found the roundtablers who want their 007 films to be serious unlike the books and who can only accept camp by consensus like with Connery.

Being a heavy drinker also fucks with your dick and, indeed, your sex drive.

Fair odds of also leaving you unable to function if you go without alcohol too long. Not really desirable for an agent.

What you smoking nigger?

A good quality female singer would still be a massive improvement (there are plenty of strong female singers even staying within bond themes) but I get your point.

The point is that he'd be incredibly unhealthy for most of his adult life until the sweet release of death at 56.

At 70 cigarettes a day Bond wouldn't be able to do most of the stuff he does or at least not without bursting into severe coughing fits afterwards.

Bullshit. Never Say Never Again is vastly better than that mess.

Or some guy who doesnt suck

fun fact: we never actually see James Bond get an erection

70 is a bit much (and a bit unrealistic) but you can be a pack-a-day smoker and do most of the stuff James Bond does on screen. Like I said, you never see him running a marathon.

Well that was the original point he was replying to user.

Sam Smith sucks ass and could have ruined the fucking Goldfinger or Thunderball themes so judging the underlying quality of the song on his vocals is somewhat unfair.

No, but it's implied many times, like in this scene.

"in the shoulder" was dubbed in later to make the scene less risque

We just know how much he drinks and smoke during missions. It's probably how he handles with living in danger like that. And it's just a couple drinks during missions, same with cigarettes.

sounds like classic ED to me

That was everything in the 90's.

Nobody seemed to like this song.

It really is his voice. He seems to be a decent writer though though even then this song just lacks punch to it.

He got a Golden Globe for it.

>No You Only Live Twice

Obviously they went too far with the Miami Vice influence, but that's the producers' and director's fault, not his.

perch bronson's bond was better only because the special effects and stunts were like 200% more exciting

ONE LIFE FOR YOURSELF
AND ONE FOR YOUR DREEEEEEEEEEEEAMS

Wait, why did he surf with the wave when he was at the very top instead of just bailing out behind it?

Bullshit, I smoke two packs a day and still surf tsunamis and shoot at people while skiing.

not enjoying lana del rey attempt at theme….

youtubedoubler.com/?video1=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N-1rpA6rsM&start1=28&video2=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmIcsr6Q8bU&start2=11&authorName=Ayarkhaan Enemy

(mute right vid)

spectre was a mess imo.

Nobody outside the circle-jerk industry liked it.

You can find fuck knows how many MSM articles shitting on it too so this isn't just a public v media thing.

Whatever you watch, do not watch anything after GoldenEye

Christopher Lee agrees. And he personally knew Ian Fleming.

More than that, he was his cousin by marriage.

Goldeneye

The problem with Quantum of Solace is that it's an extension of Casino Royale so if you don't have Casino Royale fresh in your memory you won't actually know what's going on half the time because they keep tracking back to shit that happened in Casino Royale, it wasn't actually half bad when watched back to back.

Eh, I watched them back to back and Quantum of Solace was still shit.

It was basically a shit-tier Licence to Kill where Bond doesn't fuck the main Bond girl.

The song's about Bond being an effeminate bitch, so no dice. The entire problem with Craig bond is that they're trying to appeal to both men and women, so Bond is both a world-traveling womanizer and a pathetic romance novel tier fuckboy, and Spectre's theme is entirely built for the latter.

Is it really that bad? Was Christoph Waltz at least half decent as Blofeld?

Friend recommended doing this, and I'll admit it does work out a better film when you watch it as a second part. However, it doesn't change the fact that you're sitting through four hours of film just to make the second half "pretty decent" instead of "kinda shit", nor does it change that it feels like Casino Royale 2: Quantum Boogaloo when you compare the downgrade in villain, character arcs, and plot developments.

It looks great. Then an intense and creative action scene happens. But you feel nothing. Stuff happens, you're not dying of boredom, but it's very unimpressive. You're trying to have some fun, but then a completely retarded thing happens. Then you're at the end, thinking "this wasn't that bad, I guess it's kind of an okay w-" and BAM. Bond catches the evil guy who gives a MUH DEMOCRACY speech which is incoherent and makes no fucking sense. It's a complete "What did he mean by this?" moment. Then we get references to old movies and how this one is a culmination of all the plans form before.. and it falls flat on its face. It's shoehorned without reason and just highlights how story is a mess. Then Bond resolves his muhsoggyknees problem by closing a character arc we didn't know he had. And that's just weird. So you walk out insulted, unsure of what was actually good and with blue balls of unused potential.

Not as good as guy in OHMSS, but yeah. The problem is the movie around him. He feels good, but off the mark because movie builds him wrong. Writer's fault probably.

I mean, I'd rather watch Spectre and groan from time to time at things that don't work than get brain cancer but it just diminishes last three films and feels… empty and self masturbatory. Dare I say it… a bit, pretentious, too.

You can go full retard with schlock in a Bond film. Moonraker, for example. The problem with Spectre isn't the schlock. It's that it tries to be serious and still feels stupid. One of these is a bad movie that's funny. The other tries to deal with philosophy while featuring MUH EVIL BROTHER TWISTS before lecturing viewers about democracy. Also evil villain lair made of glass because glass looks cool. Nevermind that it's a retarded idea.

yes, it's a mess and Blofeld completely falls flat. the script and direction are a fucking disaster, plus Craig looks even more bored than usual. I'm shocked that they released the film as is.

TWINE was okay.
The video game was also fun as fuck, but I've never seen anybody talk about it on Holla Forums.

I fucking loved the TWINE game

I used to play that shit all day. Well Goldeneye too, but so did everybody else. I use to speedrun all the levels to unlock the multiplayer characters and levels and shit, and I eventually unlocked everything. I liked that you could face AI bots in multiplayer, spent countless hours doing that, playing explosives on Castle was always fun, 1 sticky bomb would blow up half the map. The multiplayer airplane map and the snow one with the gondola ride were dope too.

good times

I liked it, it felt like a good followup to Goldeneye campaign-wise, but I never got past the stealth mission due to my shitty CRT. Same problem with DK64, Turok 2, and every other game I had that era with dark/nighttime levels.

It was pretty advanced for its time. It did after all come late in the N64's life cycle. It had a lot of content for an N64 game.

My man.

From Russia with Love is top Bond

Craig always puzzled me as Bond casting. He has zero charisma, always looks like he'd rather be doing something else, and his acting alternates between "angry meathead" and "mopey faggot", and to top it off, he's completely unlikable. To see how miscast he is as Bond, just take a look at any time he's trying to deliver a Bond one-liner.

At least now we'll get someone else. Hopefully they get Henry Cavill, judging from The Man From U.N.C.L.E., his Bond would be like the best of Connery and Brosnan put together.

TWINE was fucking boss. I actually download a N64 emulator just so I could play it again.

it's not mysterious at all. they were trying to follow the trend set by christian bale as batman in TDK. casino royale was the bond franchise riding the grimdark wave

*downloaded

Not gonna happen. The scheduling would be a nightmare, plus Superman curse

He's a poor man's Dalton really. All the difficulty of a 'darker' Bond without any of the actual benefits brought by a competent actor.

Indeed Dalton famously read up on the books beforehand and it shows. He's not gritty for the sake of gritty as the Craig Bond/Bond films have been.

So, how legit are the rumors of Idris elba being cast as the new bond? So far I have only seen sourceless posts

Spooky

They're probably just talk. Idris Elba isn't much younger than Daniel Craig, if they cast him they'd just have to recast again in a couple of years.

They usually go a generation younger (except with Moore, obviously)

This thread got me nostalgic so I started playing the emulator, but then I realized how much emulators suck. So I dug deep in my closet and pulled out my good ol' N64. Dusted it off and it still works great.

What are you, a faggot?

It's fucking medical fact user.

Given the amount Bond drinks he'd be having dick problems and quite possibly suffer from withdrawal if unable to drink for more than two days.

What are you, a faggot?

just because your dick goes limp after your first appletini, doesn't mean everyone else's does too

Yeah I figured there wasn't an emulator that could actually run the game without fucking up horrendously in one way or another.

this tbh
fun fact: real men need several drinks to maintain an erection

...

Long-term drinking is bad for your dick. Deal with it nigger.

And you've still got the very real danger of withdrawal. Then again alcoholism might explain why Daniel Craig's Bond is fucking terrible.

No it wouldn't. Nothing can adequately explain why Craig's Bond is so terrible

Whoa! Contain your autism my 'special' friend!

...

Enjoy posting lines from dead faggots no one cares about on a Tajikistani sand mural website

What ghetto school did you go to that you didn't read any Shakespeare?

none, they are all absolute shit

whatever I read or didn't , I managed to learn a useful degree unlike you.

Shakespeare was a hack who only gained popularity because he pandered to the Tudors.

And now you're here.

His work has managed to survive for over four hundred years. That's a lot better than most hacks manage.

So what if I'm here? it just means I enjoy Holla Forums and its banter.

not so hard since the time of the invention of the printing press was so close by

Oookay

Believe it or not the printing press wasn't some magical invention that made everything it printed not only survive but continue to be read 400 years later.

He doesn't even drink that much you dumb nigger. Having a vodka martini every night ain't gonna kill your dick and it's not gonna give you delirium tremors when you go cold turkey. Have you ever even drank before? Probably not because you clearly don't know what you're talking about. I drink more than Bond does and my dick works fine, just ask yur mum m8

You are gay.

Pick one. Why are you here if you don't like memes? Surely there are shitty leftist websites for you.

You say this being fully aware that Plebbit is a big lover of shitty memes, correct?

Brosnan in Goldeneye is best Bond.

sorry I can't hear you over the sound of cocks moving in and out of your mouth. Can you keep your private life out of this?

Read the books faggot.

>Bond laughed. "When I'm…er…concentrating," he explained, "I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold and very well-made. I hate small portions of anything, particularly when they taste bad. This drink's my own invention. I'm going to patent it when I can think of a good name."

>>>/reddit/

Confirmed for pussy. I bet a single can of cheap american beer has you vomiting in the toilet.

At least it got to 200 replies before that happened.

Isn't that sort of heavily implying he drinks a shitton?

what?

John Barry's theme is the highlight, even skiing action sequence, what was supposed to be the action centerpiece, fumbles around for what feels like forever compared to the brisk pace of the pre-credits sequence of The Spy Who Loved Me.

Joke's on you, I don't even get to use mine.

…

Shit.

One before dinner doesn't mean one during the day. If anything it implies multiple all of which will be large.

I rather suspect that's a common theme on Holla Forums with the likely exception of the faggots.

You don't masturbate? Or even piss?

Nah, I'm on NoFap, mainly because I hope it will get hot girls to notice me and give me more energy, motivation and confidence.

Last I checked, heavy drinking doesn't affect your ability to piss.

I was more getting at the 'I don't use my dick' comment

the OHMSS theme is seriously GOAT

Well it will technically make you piss more often while drinking, I suppose.

What happened to the missing posts ITT?

It's interesting to think about the alternative history where Dalton had accepted the role for OHMSS (and presumably carried on into the Moore years), or if Brosnan had accepted in the 80's instead of Remington Steele, or if Dalton had continued to play the role for more movies, if it weren't for the MGM/UA disputes

And both of said themes are good..

There is literally nothing wrong with Skyfall as a movie in general, not a Bond thriller.

My only complaint about Skyfall is that it seemed an awful lot like The Dark Knight, plotwise.

As a movie in general it was pretty shit.

As a Bond movie it was even worse.

duran duran and tom jones are the definition of pussy bands/singers, you're changing the subject by talking about the particular song all of a sudden

007.info/the-007-film-that-never-was-daltons-third-bond/

jamesbond.wikia.com/wiki/The_Property_of_A_Lady_(film)

Skyfall is dull boring trash. Was probably the worst kind of movie they could've made to celebrate 50 years of Bond and they went through it it.

It sounds like a lot of its ideas got used in GoldenEye

As a separate movie? Its decent. As a bond film? Completely unworthy garbage.

Because he needed a way to get back onto the glacier and falling into freezing water would have probably killed him.

For shame

My fuckin nigga

ya it was

would have been interesting to see how goldeneye would be different if the other movie got made