Please dont hire this man

Beware of this man, for is the Uwe Boll of comic book movies.

His name is David S. Goyer (yes he is jewish)

He wrote the Blade trilogy, Ghost Rider: spirit of vengeance, Man of Steel, and the recent Batman V Superman.

INB4 The Dark Knight trilogy, Nolan was holding his hand when they wrote the script together, just to make sure Goyer didnt shit all over his career.

s. Goyim

Blade 1 and 2 were ok. Why are you telling a bunch of autists on an imageboard not to hire him exactly?

And? Better than all capeshit today.

not even trying

It was re-written by Ben Affleck's writer Chris Terrio

people who shit on Uwe Boll are pretty much exclusively vidya autists who hate kino.

Postal was a masterpiece, but Uwe Boll himself is a worthless piece of shit.

That describes the man's entire career. Worthless Masterpiece.

You're a big guy, aren't you?

at least with uwe boll he's funny enough to box his critics

imagine boll beating the shit out of doug walker or moviebob

He also did Davinci's Demons? I think. I've been meaning to watch it but afraid he might play up the faggotry angle.


i'd box him if it meant getting him to retire.

so far any critic he's boxed, he's won.


Pretty sure he is already basically retired from making movies. Unfortunately he's also retired from making amazing rants.

Film producer here. Hiring this man.

Thanks for the recommendation

Lindelof is the Wesley Crusher of science fiction franchises.

It's not often you see a shit talking celebrity cunt that can actually fuck you up when things get hectic.
Most of them seem to be crybabby betas.

Well, that's just it. Most of the people who talk shit about him are crybaby betas. That's how he fucks them up so easily.

Now, if he challenged someone who can actually fight, it might be a different story.

I think he'd still manage to hold his own.
He'd obviously lose to a professional boxer, but the man knows more about pugilism than your average celeb twat.
His movies are still shit regardless, I just think it's funny he actually shitstomped a faggot like Lowtax instead of being all bark and no bite.

They're not supposed to be good, are they? Or is he one of those pretentious faggots who think don't understand that what they create is crap?

I honestly don't know.
The only movie he's done that I've really enjoyed was Postal, which isn't saying much considering the source material was already some raunchy, crazy shit that was entertaining in a really trashy way.

That's what I mean, he does fun movies based on fun video games - nobody expects him to make a fucking Casablanca, so what the fuck are his critics complaining about?

Shitty movies can still be enjoyable, yes, but but they're not immune to criticism just because they're intentionally shit or whatever.
Plus, critics complain no matter what.
Unless they're paid off of course.

His movies are a tax dodge/money laundering.

Were. Germany changed the law.

the Rampage films were pretty dank

what's with the uwe boll bashing?


Uwe Boll is the Leonardo da Vinci of crappy flicks.

Regardless of this stellar achievement his movies are still shit.

Granted, most videogames have horrible writing to begin with, but it takes a true maestro to somehow improve the shit writing.

Why would a Jew have the name 'Goyer'?
It just doesn't make any sense…

you either hate uwe boll movies for one of two reasons

the first being that his movies are cheap cash ins exploiting tax breaks to make money and bring down the entire medium of film

yes, his movies are terrible but its not any worse than a lot of what hollywood shits out in terms of rehashes/reboots/sequels or other blatant cash in attempts.

the second being you're upset that a movie based off a videogame sucked. in this particular case you're a disgusting manchild who is asshurt his favorite game wasn't portrayed the way your nostalgia glasses have you remember it because you're a vapid waste of life who is so worthless you have made videogames some sort of integral part of your identity/memories of childhood

the only course of action is to gas yourself

The only two movies I remember him making were Far Cry and Bloodrayne. Both games had a shit plot even by videogame standards, so it's not like there was much to ruin.

I was just mad they were so boring.

I think he genuinely thinks he's a good director and whenever people shit on his films for being shit, he either shits on them/challenges them to fite him IRL or else blames the film's shittiness on somebody else.

It's his mother that's Jewish. His father is, appropriately enough, a goy

If Mama is a Hebe, then little Davy is one as well

Nazi dubs confirm, gas the kikes race war nao!

its just the fact that people will sperg out about uwe boll (when his ENTIRE catalog is this shit and never an attempt at a serious film) in ways they will never sperg out about other directors is proof that they're an autistic manchild clinging onto videogames for some kind of meaning

Reminder that Uwe Boll's movies were just a money laundering scheme to help rich Germans avoid taxes for a modest fee.

Reminder that he clocked Lowtax right in the face. Reminder that it was TEN years ago and you got old and your perception of time will only get faster and faster as you have less and less to experience for your brain to process and your life gets shorter.

He made movies about Auschwitz and Darfur.

and surprise – they were shit movies with no real insight about anything

also the holocaust didn't happen

Did you actually watch them? I didn't, I won't subject myself to torture.

what the fuck would I hire him for?

no i wouldn't ever watch them but when the reception part of kikepedia lists this for Darfur:

and has NOTHING for Auschwitz, you know theyre garbage films

The 2nd Ghost rider film is a great film if you understand what it was trying to do. It wasn't trying to be cape shit, it was trying to give Nick Cage the ability to go bat shit insane in a comic book setting.

It's so bad it's good and it was never intended to be anything beyond that. Think of it like the first American pie movie, it's not deep and amazingly put together, but it achieves it's objectives.

agreed, thats why you enjoyed it

Comic book movies aren't supposed to be fucking works of artistic beauty. Both Ghost Riders were good enough, thanks to Cage. I wish he was more available for a genre he clearly loves, rather than overblown big money actors like Heath Ledger, Sly Stallone, Robert Downey Jr. and Ben Affleck, whose only exposure to comic books is from their spergy friends. Favreau, Smith, Vaughn - these guys should be making the movies they WANT to make not the movies that cram in multimillion dollar actors. Nick Cage is a fan, he should have gotten many more comic book movie roles than fucking Robert Downey Jr who has always been "the cool guy" and not exactly the nerdy comic book fan guy.

People just pile on Uwe Boll, because someone else told them he does the worst movies.

Mainly it derived from vidya-nerds who couldn't stand some random german used their beloved franchises into making movies about them.

From there it spread to the other nerds until it became something most people just repeat without even haven seen a movie he has made.

Postal is still a funny movie. Assault on Wall Street might actually be one of the most bold movies made the last 16 years.

I love his movies because they expect nothing from me

they're like sharknado before ian ziering found out there was money to be made

To be fair, RDJ is the spitting image of Tony Stark and part of his life was the same shit, despite acting the charismatic asshole, I think he definitely connects with the character.

Also, SLJ only works as Nick Firy since that's how they made Ultimates Fury.

Can you think of any other comic book characters Cage would be right to play the role of? I've read thousands of comics, and I'm scratching my head trying to think of any characters he could fit.

I'm in the opposite position. I wanted to like Uwe Boll's movies, but he did everything in his power to make me hate them. House of the Dead is embarrassing, Alone in the Dark is boring, In the Name of the King is bizarre in every possible way. A lot of the actors in it are very talented, so their shit performances must have been because of the script.

Thing is, he admitted in an interview he hates video games and only bought the rights to them because he thought he could make money off of them. He was intentionally making shit movies because of a German tax loophole. All of that is pretty scummy. The thing where he invited his critics to a charity boxing match so he could just beat them up? Funny in theory, cruel in practice.

Then he started making original pieces, and I really, really liked Rampage. I thought it ended up being surprisingly clever. Then the sequel came along… and it was garbage.

of course i'm going to get shit on for this, but cage would have been a way better batman in nolan's trilogy than bale juyst because he ACTUALLY FUCKING READ and owned the comics and understood the drk take on the dark knight

yeah i didnt get it at all

I don't know, I watched the documentary on the unmade Superman movie he was in, and they had test footage of him trying on some costumes, and he was discussing possible character traits for Clark Kent, and his ideas made me cringe. He wanted Clark Kent to dress really eccentric and colorful, it's been a while since I heard it but I think he specifically said "Somewhere between Weird Al Yankovich and Pee Wee Herman". Do you see that anywhere in the source material?

And he definitely brought the same "quirkyness" to Ghost Rider. I'm sure his character eating jelly beans out of a martini glass was his idea.

good god no

i really want to see a source for that

It's from "The Death of Superman Lives" which is the name of the movie that never got made.

Specifically the footage of him as he wanted to dress for Clark Kent can be seen around an hour and 15 minutes in, and more specifically them discussing the idea an hour and 17 minutes in. I can't find the specific pee wee herman line though, it may have been someone else quoting him, but they still discuss the basic idea of him dressing oddly and the idea that "clark kent is an alien so he's the persona that acts weird" and specifically the alter-egos would be "superman and super freak".

That part I don't like, but there were other elements about the movie that sounded cool. I really liked some of their designs for Brainiac. The sketch where he's basically a head with a bunch of mechanical spider legs, but he stretches them out underneath a cloak to make it look like he has a body in particular sounds like a really evocative image.


What's wrong with Uwe Boll?

literally nothing, he fills a role as a creator of camp and we love him for it.

He's everything wrong and everything right.

But he's been raised by humans since he was a baby. He's not Doctor Who.

I'll never understand Holla Forumsautists hate of Based Boll. He did the exact opposite of what capeshit movies did. Whether or not you liked his vidya movies, or the games they're based on, he kept normies away from them, because they assumed they sucked by association.

You'll find a lot of people on Holla Forums love Boll, if only because he beat the shit out of Lowtax. His movies aren't good though.

Rampage, Rampage II (To a lesser extent), Stoic, Darfur and Blubberella are all masterpieces.

There ain't a damn role in the world that wouldn't be better with Nic Cage in it.

Why do people not like him? Because he called out kikestarter and the scam it hosts? I don't know anything about this just saw the video.

A man can dream

That would be pretty great.