World's Oldest Living Land Animal, Is Gay

Why would you kill him for bourgeois fun? Explain yourself!

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Ngl, that sucks. No wonder they're endangered.
I mean, I'm assuming they are.
Unless it's one of the kinds that's literally gonna be extinct once he dies.

Have some fucking respect for Jonathon.

Lol, stupid gay tortoise.

Have some self respect dude

how do you miss this for 26 years?

Bias, assumptions

Take that straights

proof god is gay, take that catholics

If you ban homosexuality this tortoise will still be performing sodomy after you're dead.

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, TRAPS AREN'T GAY. Jonathan is probably the straightest tortoise alive.

man that turtle can serve a large soup portion

roasties btfo.


Last bump


Jonathon could bite your throat out.

Maybe this turtle fucked a male because it was the only thing that he could fuck at the moment?


Are you actually trying to make excuses for the tortoise.

Also it's a tortoise, not a turtle.

So you're saying Jonathon is in gay baby jail

This makes no sense to me. Homosexually is normally only found in social animals. What selective advantage could this possibly confer? Do tortoises get gayer as they grow older to prevent deleterious mutations from spreading or something?

Has he ever even seen a female of his species tho? How does anyone actually know he prefers dude tortoises over chick tortoises?

He's gay because he likes ass.


He's fucking a "dude" tortoise.

People here actually trying to describe and theorize why Jonathon the gay tortoise likes man ass

Fun fact: tortoises have a cloaca. There is no "ass".

This tortoise smashes ass

based homosexuality

He's been gay since before your parents were born.

honestly a legend

calling a tortoise gay is like saying that dogs that piss over each other are kinksters who are doing piss play BDSM

its pure ideology

Dunno about reptiles, but human sperm seriously degrades in quality as you age.
Maybe now that the young tortoise thots won't fuck him and he's living on borrowed time, he's decided to move on to his original lust: young supple sissy tortoises

how turtle gay?

how turtle gay?


that's tru

He's been fucking this other tortoise for the last, almost 30 years though

This was the only right answer in this thread

The man tortoise is fucking another tortoise man, the tortoise is gay

So if you're a human and you want tortoise dick, does that make you gay?

these guys also are known to fuck boulders that they mistake for females so I'm not quite sure Jonathan knows what or who he's doing

They've been fucking for the last 30 years. He doesn't fuck anything else but this other tortoise.

yes, but if the species has such a hard time figuring out the difference between a boulder and a chick, what makes you sure he doesn't think the sweet boipucci he's beet fucking isn't just normal everyday pucci?

Tom, the Turtle is gay.


He's still 30 years gay.

Only in the same way that prisoners or Saudis are "gay".

Nah he's gay
Mfw i was listening to this song when I clicked on this thread

Then Saudi Arabia is the land of gay.

Unironically true.

How so?

my dog eats its own vomit because its a dog doesn't mean I should too.

Your dog isn't a tortoise. This tortoise only eats cabbage.

This turtle has seen the light of mgtow

Paleo diet ain't got shit on tortoise diet.