So for the people who understand sexual theory more than I do (and I don't understand much of it)...

So for the people who understand sexual theory more than I do (and I don't understand much of it), I have a question about consent I was thinking about.

Seduction and romance is based on the implicit , not the explicit, when you're trying to romance or seduce someone (or eachother) it's based entirely around implicit social cues and advances to eachother, often they are hard to read, girl places her hand on your hand, she pushes her hair behind her ear, she laughs at your bad jokes etc. But all of these could just be.. she's touching your hand because she's a touchy sort of person, she brush her hair behind her ear because her hair was getting in the way, she as a sense of humour as bad as you etc.

Eventually one of you makes a move, when staring into eachothers eyes, you or her move forward and try to initiate a kiss.

Now this is where consent breaks down for me, how is this not harassment in consent theory? Say I was only being friendly to this person and they suddenly kiss me, couldn't I reasonably take this as harassment?
The obvious solution to this question, is that, she (or I) asks consent, but the thing is… explicit isn't romantic, seductive, it's usually a way to quickly KILL any romance or seduction for most people. Couldn't also the fact you ask for consent… be seen as harassment? that you're pushing them to make a sexual decision they may not be comfortable with?

Zizek says in You May!


I agree consent is a very important part of initiating sexual contact and needs to be reiterated throughout the relationship, but I just don't see how explicit consent mashes with the implicit in peoples courtship.

Other urls found in this thread:

kritike.org/journal/issue_14/demandante_june2014.pdf
youtu.be/O8ZHykt8IJI
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

dude just fucking kiss her lmao

kritike.org/journal/issue_14/demandante_june2014.pdf

Stop acquiescing to the Other

I agree either the sniff man, but I can't so much as think of the last time I've read the words "sexual theory". Implicit consent is obviously a part of life/relationships. I think you are right, asking for consent in and of itself can be seen as harassment.

Don't be a dick pretty much is the only way through this stuff, if you kiss the girl and she doesn't reciprocate, just accept that she doesn't want it and don't push it.
Hell one time I made the "leap" as Zizek says and the girl went "no" then I stopped and she was like "Wait why did you actually stop" so yeah, it's hard to tell, but generally I think you will be fine if you make the move and if she doesn't reciprocate, just apologise and stop unless you get trying to pick up on some Tumblr feminist out to make a point.
I swear to god though a lot of feminist theory and analysis has to be written by aromantic asexuals or people who have never ever had romantic experience in their life because jesus christ if I followed some of the shit i've read on Everydayfeminism I would probably come off as a fucking autistic creep when trying to initiate something with a girl.

Its cute that social scientists have stolen the words of real scientists. words like theory. and scientist.

t. brainlet

Women yearn to be raped.

Watch this and stop being retarded: youtu.be/O8ZHykt8IJI

Lmao take a look at this rapist over here.

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This is what you sound like.

What's wrong with establishing initial contact and then continuing if no objections are raised?

Consent is a spook

The concept of affirmative ongoing consent is kinda ridiculous. Feminists wanted a method that would apply to ALL situations. Even autistic drunk teenagers. Which makes sense because they are pushing this stuff on college campuses on sexually inexperienced people, and it is good to tread lightly with a new partner.

I tend to ask sexually suggestive questions like "are you ready" or announce my intentions and give them an opportunity to object, which wouldnt work on someone incapacitated, but i get around that by not being sexual with incapacitated people.

You can't know that the other person is OK with the contact so you're committing Schrodinger's sexual assault. The determining factor is whether or not the recipient (woman) accepts it, meaning that whether or not sexual assault has been committed is the result of how the recipient responds. And since nobody can know how they (she) responded internally, in practice it means the recipient gets to choose whether it was sexual assault or not.

Not that I agree with it at all, but this is the idea. Sexual assault is a serious problem, and honestly the idea that touching someone (like, on the shoulder) or kissing someone without their permission really dilutes the idea when there are shitnuggets like this guy grabbing women's breasts and jacking off to completion in front of them.

no because humans enjoy implicit harassment

yes you do, stop lying

Can we gulag all the STEMlords pls

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he is a cuckold

Yep. When someone transgresses your boundaries your freedom to act how you want increases. Normally reacting in an overtly sexual or violent way would not be tolerated, but if it's in response to someone "wronging" you, then the list of actions that society will accept of you broaden. This is why some feminist strains fetishize rape so much. Ordinarily culture shames women for how they act sexually - everything from hating every second to turning into a dead fish to writhing in ecstasy will get judgment. But if she responded that way to being raped then how dare you judge her for it. The same logic applies to the oppression olympics in that people will naturally loosen their expectations of you if they think you've been egregiously wronged.

OBSESSED

sperg more cuckold

It's mostly written by people whose formative sexual experiences were traumatic in some way (often explicitly and unambiguously abusive) and they tend to project those experiences and the hangups they've developed as a result onto the normal sexual/social interactions of wider society. Basically they tend to be the last people who should be theorising about this shit and getting published and in an ideal world would have the self awareness to realise that themselves. In practice, they become cult figures like Andrea Dworkin and exert a lot of influence over huge social movements. Especially because they play on archetypal feminine fears and that shit sells like crazy

I usually ask for explicit consent tbh, but I play it off in kind of a awkward/funny/cute way, and I would like to live in a world where people are comfortable talking about that kind of thing. If you have a good understanding of social cues, you shouldn't need to ask for verbal consent, but a lot of people are sperglords and should really be in the habbit of it.

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This only matters until you're an item. Not that you should have to, but to be safe, just tell her you want to kiss her or hold her hand. If she thinks you're ridiculous for being nervous and asking every step of the way she's good, she's probably a keeper and will discuss how annoying other women are who think everything is rape.

what does this have to do with Holla Forums?

bourgeois sexuality must be overcome

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I don't understand girls at all. I find it hard to think of them as sexual beings at all with how often they protest that they're being sexualized, objectified, or viewed in a sexist way whenever women are depicted sexually in media. It'd probably be better if I was less autistic and could understand people better, but whatever.

Lamo 98% of britons can't stomach the idea of having sex without at-least 3 pints (woman) or 4 pints (man) in their system.

It's all starting to make sense

Sexuality itself should be overcome.

life should be overcome
a sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from a pile of old dirty rocks

True.

don't just talk past my own, buddy

Why do they call it 'female ejaculation' when it's literally just them pissing themselves?

The spider plant cringed as its owner brought forth the watering can. "I am a spider plant!" it cried indignantly. "How dare you water me before my time! Guards!" it called. "Guards!"

Borin, its owner, placed the watering can on the table and looked at it. "You will be watered," he said.

"You do not dare to water me!" laughed the plant.

"You will be watered," said Borin.

"Do not water me!" wept the plant.

"You will be watered," said Borin.

I watched this exchange. Truly, I believed the plant would be watered. It was plant, and on Gor it had no rights. Perhaps on Earth, in its permissive society, which distorts the true roles of all beings, which forces both plant and waterer to go unh appy and constrained, which forbids the fulfillment of owner and houseplant, such might not happen. Perhaps there, it would not be watered. But it was on Gor now, and would undoubtedly feel its true place, that of houseplant. It was plant. It would be watered at will. Such is the way with plants.

Borin picked up the watering can, and muchly watered the plant. The plant cried out. "No, Master! Do not water me!" The master continued to water the plant. "Please, Master," begged the plant, "do not water me!" The master continued to water the plant. It was plant. It could be watered at will.

The plant sobbed muchly as Borin laid down the watering can. It was not pleased. Too, it was wet. But this did not matter. It was plant.

"You have been well watered," said Borin.

"Yes," said the plant, "I have been well watered." Of course, it could be watered by its master at will.

"I have watered you well," said Borin.

"Yes, master," said the plant. "You have watered your plant well. I am plant, and as such I should be watered by my master."

The cactus plant next to the spider plant shuddered. It attempted to cover its small form with its small arms and small needles. "I am plant," it said wonderingly. "I am of Earth, but for the first time, I feel myself truly plantlike. On Earth, I w as able to control my watering. I often scorned those who would water me. But they were weak, and did not see my scorn for what it was, the weak attempt of a small plant to protect itself. Not one of the weak Earth waterers would dare to water a plant if it did not wish it. But on Gor," it shuddered, "on Gor it is different. Here, those who wish to water will water their plants as they wish. But strangely, I feel myself most plantlike when I am at the mercy of a strong Gorean master, who may water m e as he pleases."

"I will now water you," said Borin, the cactus's Gorean master.

The cactus did not resist being watered. Perhaps it was realizing that such watering was its master's to control. Too, perhaps it knew that this master was far superior to those of Earth, who would not water it if it did not wish to be watered.

The cactus's watering had been finished. The spider plant looked at it.

"I have been well watered," it said.

"I, too, have been well watered," said the cactus.

"My master has watered me well," said the spider plant.

"My master, too, has watered me well," said the cactus.

"I am to be placed in a hanging basket on the porch," said the spider plant.

"I, too, am to be placed in a hnaging basket on the porch," said the cactus.

"I wish you well," said the spider plant.

"I, too, wish you well," said the cactus.

"Tal," said the spider plant.

"Tal, too," said the cactus.

I did not think that the spider plant would object to being watered by its master again. For it realized that it was plant, and that here, unlike on Earth, it was likely to be owned and watered by many masters.

Please don't take up an entire screen with your post. At least omit the Reddit spacing if you post something this long.

>>>Holla Forums

thank you

Been looking for something just like this recently, thank you.

or could move your face towards their's, and take a half second pause to see how they react. it's not like they can't pull away.

It'd probably still be considered harassment if you pull back.

liberal consent is dumb. Politics is the triumph of one class over another. When the socialists replace the conservatives, we're literally depriving conservatives of their power in society. Did they consent to this powerlessness?

Don't be silly. Men can't be raped.

Zizek talks about this.


tl;dr: being accused of harassment will always be a risk so long as romance isn't dead, that's the deal.

Actual penis envy.

But what if the woman consents tho?

nice dubs lol

are you doing this to random women? are you autistic. fuck, even autists can be taught to gauge this, it's why those PUA shitbooks have those series of escalating physical contact where you start by touching hands, then shoulders, thighs, hair, stomach. If a woman lets you run your hands through her hair in an intimate setting, she's 100% ready to be kissed.

I identify as butch trans-lesbian

on a more serious note, shit like this is designed to fuck people like me since the consequences of failing to read emotion, or of somebody mistaking my intent now potentially include being classed as a sex offender

The people who create shit like this are grossed out by people who are different from them (and that they don't understand) so you are correct that they want to hurt aspies and other neuro-atypicals. Ironically the problem with these fuckers is similar to the "doesn't understand social cues" element of the autism spectrum, because they think you can just round off the corners of romance like this, when the corners and edge is what makes it romance.

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I haven't read a single post itt besides the OP

Depends on the context, vibe, etc. You're either too autistic and can't read a person or they're too autistic and can't read cues, most people can handle this sort of thing, albeit through trial and error. If they're decent they'd just stop after you tell them there was a misunderstanding. But seriously OP don't be a dumb, obviously there's some play in it, some girls will play innocent and naive even after they've stripped. Literally "what are we going to do on the bed Onii-chan?" tier. t. happened to a friend

thx

hahah

Fuck off.

Criminally underrated post imo