Better Parenting

How do people here feel about less authoritarian styles of parenting and education in which children are actually treated like people deserving of respect?
I've just read an amazing blog which puts these ideas into words better than I could.
happinessishereblog.com/parenting/
happinessishereblog.com/homeschooling/
Would you consider treating your own children with this level of respect?

thanks doc!

This words is almost as annoying as "diverse".

Well it's not written by superior Holla Forums ubermensch so it's to be expected. I'm actually half, maybe one quarter, serious.

Why? Respect just means considering something to be worthy of admiration/attention. Respecting things appropriately is important.

Because its use is excellent.

Something being used in a "problematic" manner isn't a reason to give up on a concept entirely. Nuance is a thing.

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Remedy? Become Ancap.

Children have no rights and should be treated as property by their parents. The state has an interest in providing a minimal level of education and health to give a kid the potential for choice and freedom once they reach adulthood. Tbh most children are gulag tier. Just ship them to camp for a few years and get the cancer out of them while you still could.

Shut up OP there’s nothing wrong with beating your children.

Not really, parents should have authority over young children, because young children are genuinely dumb and irrational. Psychotic and selfish too, when very young.
That said, they shouldnt use that authority at every possible opportunity. Only when necessary. Dont try to control every aspect of their life or make "BECAUSE I SAID SO NOW DO IT OR ILL HURT YOU" the reason for every single fucking thing. Let them do what they'd like inasmuch as its not destructive, reason with and talk to them like humans when possible.
But sometimes its necessary to be a dictator for a moment or two.
I say this by my judgment of how my parents raised me, which I think was really good. They werent controlling in general and treated me like a person, but they ultimately had the final say and would be authoritarian when I was being an impossible, unreasonable child, like any child will sometimes be.
This authority should, of course, diminish as the child gets older. I never really "rebelled" as a teenager because my parents werent terrible shitheads who tried to exercise dictatorial authority over someone who was mostly a developed and indipendent human being.

this


solution, move to an area where the cost of living is lower.

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Feels good, man. My mom (being an only parent since my father wasn't around and with his new family and my step-father was a piece of shit and quickly removed from the picture after a few years) was stern but fair. She and I have a friendly relationship and I think it's because she wasn't a "parent" parent. She knew when to be my mom and saw me as a human being. A lot of people think I turned out pretty terribly for it but I don't really know. My problems are not her fault.

I love my mom.

What was your point that I missed?

P.roblematic being a buzzword like respect.

I respect children on such a high level that I refuse to participate in forcing them into this world of endless misery.

I'm interested in seeing any case studies based on this kind of parenting.

I think a lot of bad behavior has more or less to do with "children are just bad" and more to do with "children do not know how to cope with stress/negative emotions". Authoritarian reactions are probably more likely to exacerbate things then help, even if it's easier for the parent

I agree. The Prussian Model of authoritarian teaching serves merely to break the will of children and prepare them for a non-life of obedience, consumption, and meaninglessness.

You sound like a gnostic or some kind of dualist. Why procreate when that would mean bringing another soul into the debased physical world?

We don’t learn in a world of endless misery.

Gnostics were right tbh.

I agree. I posted this for the benefit of children of people who don't take an ethical anti-natalist stance.


I don't know if you've noticed, but Holla Forums is overflowing with normalfag cancer. There are people here who unironically support internet censorship. There are actual fucking anprims on this board.

Simple solution: communally raise kids. They will choose not to associate with dipshit adults who don't respect their personhood.

Education is a fucking meme you dolt. With the internet kids are more and more just going and teaching themselves. Schools and similar institutions as they exist now are fundamentally shit and almost always counterproductive. The only real value of higher education is the access to social networks of specialized people. The format of schools is completely unnecessary to provide this and harmfully introduces conflict by forcing conformity to the format.

Even simpler solution: don't have kids.

You're a fucking retard.

Sure, problem is the parents are not the only ones raising their kids in any given society, so I don't think you're looking at the whole picture, and in ours in particular there's the giant elephant in the room of formal education.
Basically, how people expect the modern school system not to be a breeding ground for sociopaths is beyond me. You have a bunch of young people spending most of their time together against their will , more often than not in small rooms following directions, and you expect to not develop a pack mentality, socially cannibalize each other and marginalize the outliers how exactly?

I grew up that way and I turned out fine.™

So you didn't read the links, then?
You're an idiot.

Yes, good prole!

Best thing is to teach your kid to read independently as early as possible

Respect is EARNED. Everyone gets treated with the level of respect that they deserve.

Lol wrong board fascist

Everyone is a fascist these days it seems.

Are you a faggot or what?

You're all fucking incels and traps, why do you care ?

Metaphorically? Most likely, yes. If I'm going to be honest with myself, interrupting a chemical process that has been going on for 4.5 billion years is the closest thing I'll ever get to an achievement.

How is this even a question? Treating your child with unconditional love and care should be a norm, not a fucking exception.
Trash. Homeschooling is borderline child abuse.

Pic related, read it. Summerhill is what a liberated school looks like.

Define "personhood". If a Mom tells her 8 year old son not to eat too much and sit in front of the TV all day, can he now just leave and be lured by someone person who will allow him?

Also communal parenting is a meme, extended is as far as your going to get. We have psycological studies pertaining to the development of young children showing how children will naturally imprint mostly upon the mother within hours of birth and will always feel accustomed with the primary caretaker over sub-caretakers. Even in the womb children already become accustomed to their parents voices and within days of birth their families smell. Children will mostly continue to associate with those they know to be their mother and father by nature and will only detach at a young age if some kind of traumatic event forces them to associate their parents with the trauma or forces them to disassociate completely. Most problems with child development stems from either neglect or abandonment, which is systemic to capital. Once capitalism is removed, I believe we will find more often then not parents wanting to engage with their children.

I went to the "Unparenting" article. I'll respond because semi-interesting thread.
Man it makes me sad. These people (at face value) obviously have that hippie style love that's pretty pure. Shit is rad as hell. I just don't think it is possible to have such a free for raising of a child. I think the reason the author sees this "Why would you parent *at* a kid to form them into an adult instead of themselves?" as such a weird "unquestioned" thing is only because they never thought about it. It never crossed their mind to make a kid into something. The thing is, I think under the current hyper competitive culture, adults have to be made, not grown. To butcher Marx, I think the socially necessary labor time on the individual ha dropped like a stone. Kids are now specialized into competing adults. It's been done in Rome, Sparta, etc… for the military. In feudal Europe for nobles, peasants. Shit, go back to Greece again, philosophers would crank out little nobles/royalty. I think in the future people will talk about how we didn't really have more choice than them, we were just funneled better. Fuck, can't wait to forget this.
Hope you're still here OP, I'll watch the thread for like 30 minutes or so. If you reapond, I will. That's a Guarantee^TM

He wants to raise them, not marry them.

I don't know why, but this thread made me think about when Zizek compared a father telling his son to go to his grandmother because its his duty and a father telling his son it would be good to go, but that hes not forcing him and how the latter was stronger because the implication was greater as well as harder to speak against.

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Yeah, I'm still here.

First of all, I think you're making it into a false dichotomy between having an empathic, civilized childhood and growing up to be intelligent enough to succeed in a capitalist world. Some formal education is definitely necessary, but it needn't start at age 5 and the child's home life can still be pleasant. In fact, if you are competent I think you could raise a child to be far more intelligent than the kids coming out of traditional elementary school.

Also, I just don't place any value on a life which is lived solely to be a more efficient cog in the machine of capitalism. I'd take a decade of freedom over a lifetime of servitude any day.

I don't think so. Specialization is mandatory, and although you can raise kids like this, it doesn't fit into the "competitive" nature of capitalism.
Agreed.
Agree here too. I just don't think you can have a lax education/upbringing in this time. Definitely not on a large scale. The moment everyone relaxed, the competitive nature of "one more hour" would be irresistible to some. Then, it would become mandatory to the rest due to the nature of Capitalist competition. Don't know if you've read Wage Labor, but Marx talks about it.

Have you seen the shitty, awful state of mainstream education for most kids? Have you seen the absolute drooling morons it produces 95% of the time?
I really don't understand where your belief that it is necessary to be hyper-competitive comes from. It would be utterly trivial to teach any child to be significantly above average academically with a fraction of the hours and none of the suffering of conventional schooling.
Do you honestly think that throwing 30 random kids together, making them follow a bunch of pointless rules to break their spirits, not giving them any choice over what, when or how they learn, and going at the pace of the slowest children is the optimal way to raise successful human beings? Your stance baffles me.