>Finally, asked by an American reporter what Depp would say to anyone who didn’t think he should have come to Cannes...

>Finally, asked by an American reporter what Depp would say to anyone who didn’t think he should have come to Cannes, the actor dropped what may be the most odd metaphor ever to be uttered, in any language, at a film festival press conference. “Imagine that they said to me, I cannot go to McDonald’s [long pause] … for life [long pause] … because somewhere [long pause] if you got them all in one room, 39 people watched me eat a Big Mac on a loop. Who are they? Why do they care? Some species [long pause] … a tower of mashed potatoes covered in light from a computer screen?”What did he mean by this?

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This guy fucks.

>>184977197Trolling is a art

>>184977197wowthey really hate him

>>184977197I don't know but I want a burger.

>>184977301they hate being proven wrong. they exiled him and he proved it was for no reason and they absolutely DO NOT WaNT to admit it

>>184977324You get the burger, I'll take the tower or mashed potatoes

>>184977197His neural net was malfunctioning.

He said what we were all thinking

>>184977197He Bond Burgered that dumb jurno.

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>>184977197>gas the Jews, race war now. Bit harsh for Cannes but the french like a men to speak his mind.

>>184977263They are mutated hands that help us get around and only deranged faggots have sexual thoughts about them.

>>184977648pierced your sisters buns

>>184977197>a tower of mashed potatoes covered in light from a computer screenBased natural poet Depp dabbing on a bunch of “journalists”

>>184977197if it's safe i'm gonna call Based for this one

I wonder how fucked up this guy was filming all the pivotal roles in his career. I should be an actor

>>184977197really makes you think

>>184977197It makes perfect sense, but is just too wordy for an answer to a random question and you know Depp is just trying to have cool prose like his writing heroes.

>>184977197they really hate him now wowhollywood won't stop until they remove all actors

>>184977301how dare he win a case where he's falsely accused and avoid having his life ruined it was her turn

>>184977301He's a white guy who was targeted for looting by a cabal of Jews, but he fought back and won. I'm surprised he's not dead.

>>184977197he's just saying he shouldn't be excluded from public life just because the terminally online have an obsession with his relationship trouble. he's correct.

>>184977197I don't pay any attention to celebrity shit but it was impossible to ignore this.Didn't he win the court case? Why is the press still giving him a hard time?

>>184977648Last night I spied your sisters beef patties.

>>184977301Trump, the establishment, media (owned by conservatives) and the deep state hate him

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>>184977197why is his hand black

>>184977779Not quite. An arboreal gripping toe didn't make it a hand. Feet fags however should be slow cooked and fed to insects (left to rot.)

>>184979819courts are not about truth or justice to these people, they just want to use them as tools to bludgeon those they don't like. Since the verdict wasn't what they wanted, they will now find other ways to harm him

>>184977790BONDBURGEREDYOUR SISTERThat is the only correct solution.

>>184977197I dunno I'm not a burger I don't understand food metaphors

>>184977197we burgers speak in such an arcane, poetic way that the rest of the bugmen cant understand

>>184980016Okay rajesh

>>184977648Bonded of an Americana meal with my sister? Oh, ok.

>>184979962not his hand. that's from the black guy standing in the back.

>>184977197He meant fat people with pasty white skin who are terminally online

Perfect analogy.

>>184980067Bonded over an americana meal*


>>184977197>France is the McDonalds of cinema

>>184977197>american>food metaphor

>>184977197I don't speak burger

Imagine that they said to me, I cannot go to McDonald’s for life, because somewhere, if you got them all in one room, 39 people watched me eat a Big Mac on a loop. Who are they? Why do they care? Some species, a tower of mashed potatoes covered in light from a computer screen? -Johnny Depp

>using mcdonalds food analogies at a press conferencegenuinely what's wrong with americans

>>184977648>last night I put my WPP in your sister QB

>>184977197That's it? From the buildup I thought it was going to be something on the level of Kramer yelling "nigger" or something. Instead it's just some dumb pseudo-intellectual babble. I'm disappointed.

>man paid millions to act weird on camera…acts weird on camera

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>>184977197ah yes, truly a valid successor to HS Thompson

>>184980533One for the ages.

>>184977197>Some species [long pause] … a tower of mashed potatoes covered in light from a computer screen?Is it a bad thing that I completely understood what he meant here?

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>>184977779>>184979986imagine being this triggered over nice looking feet lmao

>>184982671I hope Depp and Cusack still hang out sometimes

>>184983091I didn't at first and then realized I am that potato tower

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>>184983181Imagine being a creepy footfag, the laughingstock of a generation of laughingstocks.

>>184983091explain it for the rest of the class

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>>184983464He's disparaging against the people who not only wronged him, but threw him under the bus the way the media does with people it targets. Refering to them as essentially inhuman "other species" he goes further and calls them not men/women, but sacks of mashed potatoes (fat, worthless, sloth) covered in light from a computer screen (that they used to watch his downfall, trial, and eventual attempt to come back in the spotlight).He's basically calling out Holla Forums and other similar forums who tried to ruin his life without actually knowing anything about the situation, and, now proven innocent, are still disparaging against him.

>>184977197>"Now imagine a squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag. [long pause] Pretty fast and bulbous, right? ... [long pause] Bulbous, also tapered ... [long pause] ... Also, a tin teardrop."

>>184983621Ok. Ok. I get the mashed potato analogy.Now explain the 39 people and the Big Mac. Banned from McDonalds = banned from Cannes, I assume.

>>184983436but really though, imagine getting enraged because some guys like feet t. not a footfag

>>184983916I like hands, but no one cares.Why are footfags so hated?t. handfag

>>184983844He's clearly a bit schizo from the drugs/ the lifestyle but yeah basically. He's saying in a very round about way "its sad to hear people think I shouldn't be in films because of whats happened"

>>184977197Based Johnny

>>184977197When the seagulls [long pause, sip of water] follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea

>>184984084>t. Eric CantonaHe was making sense though.

>>184983844The trial was fast food garbage big mac tier entertainment slop for people who think that other mcdonalds tier slop (Cannes) matters. There were only 39 people who watched it while rooting against him.

>>184983621/tv/ dindu nuthin

This guy put the finisher on #BelieveWomen and they can’t fucking stand they were proven wrong.

if you think this is deep youre retarded. he makes sense, but its not coherent. he did it on the spot which is harder, but you shouldnt read into it. it does feel like earthrocking tho, which is extremely based.


>>184984173hmm... but he was eating the Big Mac, so I think he is identifying himself as having participated in the vulgar banality.

>>184984232>This guy put the finisher on #BelieveWomenlol I remember that hashtag.

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>>184977197He's probably thinking of the David Hasselhoff incident.

>>184984448depps iq is at least 150 so there are probably a few layers to it

>>184977197It’s just the Hunter S Thomson in him

>>184977197Playing Raul Duke really broke his mind.

>>184977197He is right, people who criticize him are barely human, if at all.

>>184977197lmao the drugs have turned his brain to mushpoor guyhe had a great run though. better than most others before or sinceRIP

>men gets abused by a woman>American reporter upset that he dares to keep living his lifewhat a retarded question, he must've been butthurt he didn't give him more catchy clickbait

>>184977648I have never looked up what this actually means, and I never will. One day it will just come to me.

A tower of mashed potatoes covered in light from a computer screen. -Johnny DeppThis board.

>>184984946Pierce Brosnan, who is in the image, was the 6th actor to play Bond. The burger in the image was the 9th burger on McDonald's menu back in 2007.

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Anyone have a clip?I'm just surprised he didn't have a prepared answer, especially after Brie Larson was interrogated about it.

>>184977197He just called trolls mushy computer nerds KEK

>>184985085Anon, that *was* his prepared answer

>>184985141Actually kind of a genius answer, now that I think on it.

>>184977197>[long pause]Can we fix his brain, bros?

This guy clearly knows what he’s talking about

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>>184983621>Holla Forums>tried to ruin his lifeBut he's /ourguy/.

>>184983621>Holla Forums tried to ruin his lifePretty sure Holla Forums was majority on his side.There was a handful of coomers and trannies that were siding with big stinky, but mostly I saw support for Depp here.

>>184985480>mostly I saw support for Depp hereJannies were seething.

>>184977648last night I architecturally drafted and started construction on your sister. you're welcome, reddit

>>184977197>a tower of mashed potatoes

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>get asked dumb questions by contemptuous parasitic morons>turn your press session into a terrible unscripted poetry performanceImagine being expected to care about people who were happy to see your career ruined based on lies.

>deals with grotesque slit using him for fame to boost herself during period where he is suggestively malleable due to consumption of mega pints He fucks. Easy as. He wins. He didn’t survive; he beat a cultural wave thats destroyed films and comedy that no one survives. He FUCKS.

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So what did the people who were trashing him think was going to happen? That he'd just forget it all after the trial was over?

>>184985361Take a shower. I bet your room smells like a hockey locker room.

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>>184980533The man knows how to speak. Unfortunately, we don't know how to listen.

>>184977213Tested, but not checked.

>>184979960More like the depp state hehe

>proven guilty on civil court>proven not guilty in retarded american juror court where lawyers literally rig the jury with dipshits to get the outcome they want xD hes just like me a heckin degenerate alcoholic! actors cant lie or manipulate me but i sure love le heckin’ johnny!

>>184985007>I 6th 9th your sisterare you braind amaged

>>184980533>you sir, are a tower of mashed potatoes!

>>184986328>on civil courtGo back to whatever festering hole you crawled out of, ESL scum

>>184985361No wonder Amber wouldn’t kiss him

>>184977197>a tower of mashed potatoes covered in light from a computer screenStealing this.


>>184978211I’ll allow it.

>>184977197Wow. McDonalds must have paid A LOT for this kind of advertising.


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>>184977197non Americans are the ones who spam these threads. Remember that.

>"Mr. Depp, I need you to listen to me and I need you to listen to me very carefully. You are not to open your door tonight to anyone, whatever you do, do not eat the Big Mac. The mashed potatoes are real. I am on my way to meet you, do not tell any of this to anyone else. Everything will be ok."

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>>184977197>t. mashed potato

If you got played like a banjo by an Amber-Heard-type, you/d understand...

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>>184980068no it isnt you can clearly see the black guys hands in front of Depp


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I wrote a script for Depp's American film comeback where he plays himself, and it will win him his first Oscar for Best Actor. Screenshot this.

>>184979960>media (owned by conservatives)((They)) are not conservatives, they're single-minded preservatives.

Why is this wife beating rapist still free?

He meant that the media and Hollywood are overly concerned about a handful of losers who obsessively get outraged and seek outrage. These people, mashed potato pasty flabby spineless ficks who live behind a screen, for some reason wield a disproportionate amount of power because their vocal minority bleating scares the shit out of studios. It’s cancel culture dictated by a very small subset of losers.I had to read it twice but it was clear what he meant.

>>184977197What is "eating a Big Mac on a loop" a metaphor for? I understand the rest, but I don't understand the comparison he's drawing.

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>>184987890Why is the lying, man-hating whore still free?

>>184983844He meant imagine if he would be banned from Hollywood because somewhere, somehow there is a small sliver of people seeking out things to get outraged about and watching it on loop to get r8led up and spread their vitriol.Why should he be blacklisted because of these losers who speak for no one?

>>184983621>Holla Forums... tried to ruin his lifeThis never happened

youtu.be/FE7EaDJE1a8It makes perfect sense bros, just listen to his delivery

>>184988115They are offended by some innocuous action of his (eg a movie or line) and instead of just moving on with their life and changing the channel they do the opposite: they consume it repeatedly (on loop) for no other reason than to feel angry. Any emotion to make them feel alive.

>>184988115something boring and private, or at least not something people should pay too much attention to for too long like stalkers.

>>184988207Thank you.

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>>184983621> calling out Holla Forums and other similar forums who tried to ruin his life Uh what? Reddit is over there.

>>184985539jannies deleting unambigously Holla Forums related threads was a historical low point

>>184988115To Johnny, making a film is as banal and corporate an endeavor as eating a Big Mac. But everyone wants to watch him eat the Big Mac. Then all the sudden this tower of mashed potatoes says he should be banned from McDonalds. What can be left after that, if but a megapint?

>>184987890Cause he's the son of the current president.

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>>184977197Was this a reference to Close Encounters??

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>>184988115Just saying.

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>>184988204fucking LEGEND

>>184988204That's 1965 Bob Dylan tier. Pretty based

>>184988581Close Encounters with Heard's Behind

>>184988514>>184988581>>184988204Oh he means fat redditors. Okay.

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>>184977197Such an american thing to do to focus on his personal life instead of talking about the movie and his work.

>>184988883Real life is frequently more interesting than their gay ass movies. Sorry not sorry.

>>184988964t. NPC living vicariously through celebrities

>>184989070Off to your capeshit containment threads I guess.

>>184988204How high was he though?

>>184988204He's turning into Ozzy Osborne.

>>184989287High enough.

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>>184977197So... he doesn't want to be judged based on his past mistakes or embarrassing public moments? Is that what he's trying to say?


>>184985539I did say aside from trannies and coomers, bro.

>>184983464It's a retarded way to communicate he thinks tabloid culture, terminally online obsessed stalkers, and woke cancel culture have caused him to suffer and feel like he doesn't belong. Like the nonce that he is he has no braincells to actually present a thought let alone convey it in a clear way. Compare mashed potato brain to:Unjustifiably in a position that I'd rather not be in. But the cream will rise to the top, ooh yeah.This is how you do it. You barely acknowledge your grievance and include a statement of resolve in the face of adversity because you don't want to be perceived as a victim but instead as a warrior. Basically point out the shit treatment you received but don't wallow in how it effected you. The aidience can and will infer how it could have effected you and be all the more admirable you overcame it.


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>>184980014It really is disgusting. Anyone who had a strong opinion on that case before the trial evidence came out just cannot be trusted with voting.

>>184990395>t. mashed potato towerYeah maybe he should've had ChatGPT make a statement for him, instead of being his loveable poetic megapint-fueled self. Kys.

Ok so why is the state propagandist angry at Depp for eating a Big Mac on video? Where's the video?

>>184991131Perhaps you are thinking of the Baywatch fag?

>>184977529>t. Tower of mashed potatoes covered in light from a computer screen

>>184986328>where lawyers literally rig the jury with dipshits to get the outcome they wantboth sides have the same opportunity to rig the jury.

Amazing how Depp did everything right and the media is still trying to gaslight people I think at this point the best thing to do is try and ignore them as much as possible, the one thing that makes sites like Variety or Rolling Stone seethe is being ignored and success

>>184980533>someone somewhere said I cannot go to McDonald’s for lifeYou’re saying I should stay at home instead of going to awards shows?>if you got them all in a room 39 people would watch me eat a Big MacBecause a small number of people spread out over the world obsess and seethe about everything I do>who are they? Why do I care?These people are unimportant losers>a tower of mashed potatoesThey’re also fat, inhuman blobs>covered in light from a computer screenWho engage with the world only through their computer screens/phonesWell anons, did I decipher it?

Should have gone for a "succulent Chinese meal" metaphor


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>>184991886Say what you will about Johnny Depp, but the son of a bitch knows a good metaphor

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>>184992017True. Needs to work on delivery, pronunciation, because it does come off incoherent because of that.It is, to a degree, like he became Jack Sparrow. Too much Jack Sparrow. Jack Sparrow fucked Johnny Depp up pretty good.

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>>184992192On some level I think it’s what gives him his charm. It’s like if the chill homeless dude who lives in the alley behind your place won the lottery but still lived the exact same way just in a mansion. It’s burning barrels of trash for warmth in a multimillion dollar mansion levels of absurdism so it becomes charming.

Boy this board really must have been taken over by zoomer scum if you don’t recognize the tower of mashed potatoes comment as an allude to Close Encounters of a Third Kind.

>>184986402>>184985007Brosnan was number 5 though?Connery, Moore, Lazenby, Dalton, Brosnan.

>>184992711Kind of pretentious though.Guess that's what he does for a living though.

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>>184992770I didn't understand that scene either. I didn't understand a lot of what happened in that movie and frankly I didn't enjoy the film because of it's whimsical "there's something out there and I need it and it is the best thing that can give my life meaning" shit. So glad Spielberg eventually dropped that xenophilia tripe and made based War of the Worlds where Tom Cruise genocides Xeno scum.

>>184992770>>184988581>>184988514I thought that at first. I have changed my mind.

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>>184977301>reporter asks him to dunk on the haters>uhhh mcdonalds

>>184992822I realize this might be dismissed as bias but I feel it’s the opposite of pretentious. I hate most rich people because they all act the same way, they act the way they think rich people should act and do whatever they need to rationalize why they deserve everything they have. I much more respect Depp because he’s more like “why should I comb my hair when I don’t feel like it, I’m just an unhygienic bum who fell into some money”

>>184992911It's Spielberg. It's going to be exaggerated over the top quirky-jewy.Whaddya want?

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>>184993171The problem is: Is that his genuine self, or is THAT the facade/the act?

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>>184993328He lives his life larping as Keith Richards, even with that vague sort of british accent, slurring words, alcoholism, etc.

>>184977260it's "trolling is an art" not "trolling is a art" you STUPID FUCK

>>184993834That's the feeling one gets yeah.

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>>184992192>Too much Jack Sparrow. Jack Sparrow fucked Johnny Depp up pretty good.I think it was Hunter S Thompson that messed him up. He really seemed to admire Thompson and wanted to emulate his relentless drink-and-drugs lifestyle. He may be having fun, but he looks and sounds like shit.

>>184993328Judging by younger character I’d say it’s the exaggerated form of his authentic self, admittedly only he knows for sure but it’s the impression I get. Money changes people no matter what, but if you use it to do more of the things you thought/did without money I can respect that.It’s not like he was told to be Jack Sparrow, that’s a character he came up with himself

>>184994181Probably right.

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>>184994181>>184994425THISHunter S Thompson absolutely fucked him up. Not only through being an influence, but Johnny played Hunter in a movie and has never really been able to turn that off ever since.

>>184994181>messed him upHe's had 100 lifetimes worth of fun, and is still a mega rich and famous actor. 99% of people look worse than Johnny at 60.

>>184992815Barry Nelson played Bond before Connery

>>184983621depp bros, he doesn't know we had his back the whole time. How can we recover?

>>184991805Wow ok, good job.

>>184992192*delivery and pronunciation


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>>184992192I think he tried to become Raoul Duke, Jack Sparrow just piled onto what he was already getting himself deep into

>>184994622Was a different time. A better time.

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>>184995427Had to look that one up.

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>>184977197Really gets the noggin joggin.

>>184987890McDonald's cartel

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>>184996294We McDonald's posting now?

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>>184977197>a tower of mashed potatoes covered in light from a computer screen

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>>184996294(I paid)

>>184977197he’s a tryhard moron. it isn’t complicated.

>>184977197A simple "seethe & cope" would suffice, Mr Depp

>>184977197>a tower of mashed potatoes covered in light from a computer screen?”He was just repeating his baseline, good ol ' Constant J