/leftyfeels/-good vibes for alienated comrades

In the face of all the r9k threads we've been getting I thought I'd create a containment thread of sorts for all those people who feel alone, depressed, and angry about their life situation, yes, also in regards to your sex life

Get in here guys

Other urls found in this thread:



Isn't it the collective desire for these sort of traditionally pretty women that creates the weird fucked up culture around them? Go for average working class women, don't idealize these sorts of Women. I've stopped giving a shit about them and my meager love life has literally never been better because of it before I didn't even have a love life

The funny thing is that leftypol is the true path out of virgin neetdom. I was a full an alcoholic, khv shut in until this place inspired me to find a local socialist meet up, and I was befriended by a feminist on the first day, and three days later we were having sex, and I finally had a small group of friends. So in that regard, thanks leftypol.


I'm not that user, but I earnestly find rather plain and average looking women attractive. I think it's because they're the women that I see and interact with most often in the real world, as opposed to the conventionally attractive women that are plastered all over mass media & porn. The problem is that so many of the single women at my college are fat(not even chubby per se, but basically round), and I can't seem to bring myself to be attracted to them, I've even tried looking at BBW porn to try and condition myself, but to no avail. I wish that I could reach inside my brain and flip some kind of switch.

There's also a problem that is slowly dawning on me, that so many of these average looking working class women that I'm attracted to have kids. It's not so much that I find such a thing off-putting, but I can't imagine a woman like that going for a virgin man-child like me.

Sorry for blogposting

Can this actually happen? I'm at the high range of normal BMI (5'9'' and 168lb, already run 2.5-3 miles a day and do situps and pushups and fast on Thursdays and Sundays, but I can't seem to lose that extra weight). I don't look terrible my face actually kind of looks like that of Rodgers. I'm actually not bad at talking to people, but I never really socialized that much as a kid (I prefered reading books; I'm not sure which option is the better one now, looking back) and as a result have never had much in common. 18 and I've had practically no friends throughout highschool, never even asked a girl out (let alone kissed one or gotten laid). I just did my work and read different things (inb4 leftcom jokes).
I'm afraid that all I'm going to find among leftist groups in my area (SF) is going to be idpol and I'm going to come back even more depressed, besides also having employers blacklist me because I don't know what is and isn't tracked (as a leftist, this already causes me anxiety and paranoia to no end). Already, a belief in communism as a real movement which abolishes the present state of things is one of the few things keeping me alive. I know that idpol will likely die out soon if things keep going the way they are, but lived experiences can sometimes feels>reals their way past what you know is the objective truth in the wider world but have only read of in books and articles. The people around here live in a bubble.
I do my work and got myself into college (already 1/4 done because I did well in all my AP classes), but it's tough to even do your HW and keep your room in order when you're on the verge of suicide because you're so lonely.
Feels bad, man. Reals >>> feels, but feels fight back.

Don't worry this is the designated blogposting thread!

Your situation is pretty common and unfortunately there isn't much that can be done until you're out of college. You can start lifting and doing pua shit and trying to look as attractive as you can possibly be, but you probably have self respect and you don't care about getting laid enough that you'll want to focus on all that superficial crap

I'd just say to try and not let the standards of this fucked up society get you down and don't think of yourself as a lesser man because of struggle with finding a gf. You can try dating one of those fat chicks, when you're actually being intimate with someone you'll enjoy it at least

Normally I only eat one can of soup and 2 or 3 pieces of toast a day.

But today I had that for lunch as well as breakfast and now I feel really fat and disappointed in myself even though I've still only eaten about 1000 calories.

Want to kill myself everyday.

It isn't likely m8, but some idpol shouldn't dissuade you from joining a lefty group. Once you join it'll be one less idpoler in the room and they won't be able to have a consensus

But shit man, you're young as hell! Fucking 18 years old? I didn't have my first gf till I turned 23. You don't need to rush anything, and you should instead try and find good, supportive friends instead of constantly worrying about sex

Don't do that
Kill porky instead

My particular situation is pretty hopeless, yeah. My plan st this juncture is to try and get fit as you said, get a license, get a large truck/van and then to live out of that car in order to live in the city and have access to the socialist orgs in LA.

Obviously, being a weird communist dude that lives out of his car isn't going to get me any luck with women, but then staying with my mother in this rural area is literally killing me. I you've ever read Mark Fisher, then you might be familiar with his ideas on mental illness. And my Semi-NEET lifestyle that I've lead for 10 years now has left me in a perpetual state of what he called 'depressive hedonia' mixed with the sort of induced ADD that makes it very hard to study theory, or even function without slipping in and out of a fugue state. My situation has deteriorated to the point that drastic measures must be taken, wish me luck.

Is anybody else at a stage in life where they know exactly what they want but they're having difficulty realizing it for whatever reason? I know exactly what I want to do in life but I'm very lazy and afraid so it's difficult to achieve that and sometimes I feel like I never will.

All my friends seem like they don't even know what they want to do yet and want to spend the foreseeable future doing drugs and experimenting to "find themselves" or whatever so it's hard to have an outlet to express this or find someone who gets it.

do tell

fixed this for you

no need to thank me

I don't know man, the stupid liberal notion of "do what you love, and make big bucks while doing it" is so fucking dumb. What I advise most people who find themselves with my kind of life (poor and dysfunctional family, not good enough grades, general existential crisis) is to find work in a sector that seems tolerable and is pretty chill, has a good social vibe where your co-workers are your friends and just stick with it. I've been working in that kind of environment, as a maintenance guy for the last almost 10 years

Between you and me tho I sometimes still feel like a completely worthless fucking loser

I want to pursue philosophy at the academic level, get jacked, start dressing fabulously, paint and make music. Before the end of the year I'm hoping to get thin and fly to Lithuania to get cheap gyno surgery. I'd also like to get very far away from where I currently live but I'm not quite certain where I want to go yet.

As it stands I am fat, not very good at anything, dress very inconspicuously and I'm very worried that I won't do very well in my upcoming exam. I'm also 19 and very conscious of getting older because I'll be at least 20 before I can go to university.


h-help normiebros

Sorry man, you'll just have to tolerate it

Why'd you move to the middle of nowhere?

Can you explain more about it?

5'9" and 170-190 but fit, heavier than I look for some reason

This sounds perfectly fine, I don't really see the problem. Also you seem pretty cool.

I'm not sure if it would help you at all but I feel like I should suggest you read Nietzsche.

If the nihilistic, alienating aura of capitalist society is getting to you he has some good ideas about what to make of this.

I was a NEET living in the city, brother offered me room and board on his property in exchange for farm chores and stuff like that. It's an improvement, not like the city was any less lonely.

I hate to be "that" guy but maybe you should try making an online dating profile and portray yourself as a sexy, gritty farm boy and emphasize that you've got your own place. Well, probably won't work if you're literally in a middle of nowhere but might be worth a shot. Hell, I'm a gay black dude and I'm already attracted to you without even seeing yer face

It's not so much tfwnogf, but mostly tfwnof.
Own place is a bit of a stretch. I live in a 4x10 tiny home.
O-oh my.

Alright. Maybe I'll get banned for this post, and maybe you'll all call me a piece of shit, but this is an anonymous imageboard, so I don't know anywhere else that's more appropriate to do a confessional like this. About 5 years ago I was going to college and I had a gf apologies if this already makes me a normie and my life was going pretty good tbh. I was happy, I had friends, I was doing well in my classes, after a miserable High School experience it finally seemed like my life was looking up, I had finally found my niche. Then we broke up. It was abrupt, over the phone, no explanation given, she was my first gf and this was my first break up. Fast forward a few weeks, we were avoiding eachother but we had the same friend group, literally all the same friends, so we decided to stay friends just to not create complications or issues. Now it's the weekend, we're drinking, and wandering our campus for parties, and as the night goes on, and as we get progressively more drunk, we start making out. We end up kissing and clinging to eachother for most of the night, I think we're going to get back together. She invites me to her room, starts getting undressed, I ask her if she's okay with all this, if she really wants to go through with it. As we did it she didn't seem too into it, I assumed she was tired. The next morning she told all of our friends that I raped her, that she only said yes because she felt she had no other choice After that all my friends broke contact with me, and I dropped out. This of course was after a few very public humiliations and callouts by people I barley knew and who had absolutely no connection to the situation, but at that point the rumor had warped and spread beyond belief. After that I spent the next couple of years suffering from clinical depression and alcoholism, and now live as a worthless NEET. Maybe you'll call me pathetic, but I'm afraid to go outside, I'm afraid to interact with other people, and it's getting to the point where I honestly don't know if I'll ever manage to pick up the pieces and become even half as stable or adjusted as I was 5 years ago. Maybe that seems like a short time, but it's honestly felt like an eternity. I feel like there's no point in doing anything, because anything I do all this shit will come back to haunt me and ruin my life all over again. Idk, maybe I deserve it, it feels like that sometimes. It would have been easy for me, back when I was really unstable, to have become a Holla Forumsyp, but all the crazy ZOG Occupied Government psychobabble always seemed so patently and obviously unreal, just fantasies for anons even more broken and hopeless then me. I had always been interested in philosophy and theory however, so a lot of Leftism already made sense. As sad as it is, finding Holla Forums was a real life saver, it's given me a sense of community. Anyway, sorry if this is depressing, I've never shared this story like this before and now I'm feeling a bit emotional, I hope anyone reading this the best of luck in life.

Don't worry man you're among friends. I don't think you were in the wrong even though it's impossible to know. I guess all I can say is try not to let that traumatic experience get the best of you. I'm really sorry, but don't let that bitch get the best of you. I believe in you. I know this is an anonymous imageboard but if you want to talk through whatever social media chat shit I'm willing to

Obviously I don't know the other side of the story, but honestly user, it sounds like your gf was emotionally unstable and you had really shallow, disloyal friends. If they were really your friends, they definitely wouldn't have left you at the drop of a hat, even if there were some serious accusations against you. At least I know I wouldn't (if I had friends).

You can't let some shitty incident 5 years ago define the rest of your life. And honestly, what did you really lose? An unemotionally unstable gf, disloyal friends, a chance to be a debt slave for a worthless piece of paper?

Please user, we're not reddit.

If your story is true, you didn't rape anyone. You should really move to a different city or country and try starting a new life.

Fuck my shit up familia.

Thank you, this actually means a lot to me. I do have one irl friend left, someone I knew before college, they know about what happened but choose not to judge me and to accept me as I am, it was because of them that I think I didn't kill myself awhile back. I does feel sometimes like I'm living in some kind of nightmare, sometimes I fantasize that there's a version of my life where none of this happened, I finished college, I'm working towards a career, and at my sickest I even fantasize that I'd still be with my gf in that world, but I realize that's insanely unhealthy to dwell on.

It's true, going into the relationship I knew she had type 2 bipolar, and our friends were mostly the exact type of SJW witch hunters you'd imagine inhabit any liberal arts college. Some people even warned me about her being a little difficult to handle, and about her history of hysterics and self-harm, but honestly, not to sound completely naive, I felt at the time that I loved her. Anyway, I think you're right tbh, I think this is the healthiest and most proactive way to look at it, but there is a part of the story that I intentionally left out because it makes all of this shit dangerously googlable, and I don't want myself or my ex to be doxxed, but she's a minor artist, and while I won't name her medium, she's immortalized our relationship in a piece of art, available on the internet, that depicts me as a monster. There are multiple portions which are ridiculous fabrications, that make me wonder whether it's me or her who remember everything incorrectly, idk, but either way it feels like it's all so permanent, like anything I do, I could just get outed, and I can't imagine a scenario where someone takes my word over her art. It is a strange feeling though, it makes my skin crawl, the idea that she's used this experience as an opportunity for social climbing and furthering her career.

I tried this back in 2015 actually, my friend, who I mentioned earlier in the post, lived in a different state because of work and they invited me to live with them as a roommate. Depression and social anxiety got the better of me, I still wasn't ready to move forward, and I can't say I was the best roommate, that I pulled my weight, or that I wasn't poisonous to be around. Either way I just ended up moving back in with my parents. My friend is still my friend tho, but after that there was a brief period where they got really frustrated at me for not pulling my shit together.

I will admit that with every year I feel a little healthier and a little stronger, and deep down I know there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel, no one's life can be nothing but suffering, I know things will work themselves out once I work on my mental health and rebuild my self-esteem, and I know that won't happen unless I get more proactive about going outside, talking to people, and maybe going back to school, although at this point that all seems to distant idk. Anyway, thanks for being so supportive, these were all really thoughtful and kind responses, and I feel very fortunate.


But I don't want to just leave a bunch of hyper-depressing posts in this thread, so I just want to say that my life isn't 100%, 24/7 misery. One thing I think makes life bearable is art, it's consumption and it's creation. One of the smartest things I did a year ago was make a New Years resolution to watch one new film every day of the year. I knew I was a fucking NEET, and I knew that that wasn't the year I was going to get all my shit together, but this way I could force myself to watch films I otherwise wouldn't and even though it's a sedentary and passive act, if you throw in lots of art house, foreign, and classic Hollywood films, it does feel genuinely proactive. I also try to read at least one to two hours a day. Aside from that, it's pretty imperative to get out the house at least once a month, although I can't say I'm always as good about that as I should, but museums and parks are great places to wander around without the threat of people trying to engage with you in any way. All that shit aside, even though I don't get much of it these days, I think meaningful human interaction is probably one of the most singularly important and worthwhile things a person can engage in, just to talk to another human being, and to genuinely connect, and even though those experiences are few and far between, and sometimes difficult to appreciate or remember, I think it makes dealing with a lot of the other shit worth it, even if most interactions with other people aren't like that at all, and people do seem to have a much deeper capacity to hurt others then to choose not to hurt others. also porn, and lots of it And of course, finally, the possibility of building Communism on this earth.


T-thanks. I still have manboobs that won't go away and look kind of chubby, even though I'm probably in better shape than most people my age actually are. Probably an issue to take to /liftypol/, but I feel like it's tied into not having any friends.
I've read that social isolation is worse for the body than smoking. I don't want to die young, although the world could well end by 2030.

Trust me, you're fine. I used to be really in shape when I was younger, but I was always self-
conscious about having a bit of softness and roundness here and there, particularly my chest. Now I'm older and keeping in shape is a lot harder, I look back on photos of myself and I can't believe how skinny I was, and I can't believe how self-conscious I was either. My point is, not to be dismissive, because body image is always difficult to overcome, but there's a good chance it's all in your head and most women would just find you attractive and skinny.

What if I do both tho?

me too user, me too

none of that shit should bug you if you are an actual communist

Who're you responding to?

all the people in the thread complaining they don't have girlfriends


That sounds fucking grim, mate.

I'm a human with hopes and dreams. I want to be loved and to love in turn. The reason I'm a communist in the first place is because capitalism is getting in the way of all of that, not because it's a spook that runs my life.

Idk fam, not all of us are Blanquist LARPers who want to commit suicide by cop RAF style. I don't see what's incompatible about Communism and wanting a qt gf, or just craving some basic solidarity and support from your comrades.

i sympathise but the contemporary world makes it impossible to be a totally fulfilled and actualised communist. the societal conditions of nechayev's day are long gone

capitalism is what alienated you,

no need to feel pitty on yourself and be sad you don't have a girlfriend. none of it matters when you understand the immortal science and give up the bourgeoisie mentality

Lad, being lonely or horny is as natural a human feeling as hunger or tiredness. We're biologically hard wired to want companionship. I can't substitute Marxist theory for love any more than I can substitute it for food.

This is just pure crypto-religious slave morality and letting politics run your life in this way is a sign of monumental weakness.

Maybe that would make sense if there existed a very active and organized worker's movement that made it easy for Leftists to funnel their militant energies into, but the days of professional revolutionaries, the days of Marx, Bakunin, Nechayev, Blanqui, Lenin, Mao, and Che, the long revolutionary period, are behind us. To be a "professional revolutionary" today is pure psychosis, it's just LARPing with a side of lonewolf terrorism, it isn't revolutionary praxis, it's just a way to get on a watchlist. Maybe we'll see a time come when that kind of militancy returns, and as our current NeoLiberal age seems to be coming to an end, and seeing the rise of the far right and climate change, I'd say it's not to unlikely that the Left will have it's day in the sun, but until then I don't think there's anything wrong with getting a gf and trying to enjoy your short time on this earth any way you can.

there is no such thing as "love" in capitalist society, you are a bourgeoisie tool

read more theory traitor


Exactly this, I'm the man-baby NEET above, and I would give up any of my self-pity and sentimentality for the revolution, but there is no revolution. Today in the West is nothing like Tsarist Russia in the late 19th or early 20th centuries. Furthermore, it isn't as simple as whining about >tfwnoGF, the fact that I and so many of the other user's here are socially retarded, or drug addicted, or depressed to the point of practical immobilization has a big impact on what we could even accomplish as revolutionaries. I'm not even sure that Nechayev accomplished much of anything of note, if I were to go out like some kind of crazed nihilistic autist and murder people I would get all of 15 minutes of airtime. So called 'Propaganda of The Deed' can get reincorporated right back into the mass media complex and spectacularized.

But there is.

And even if no one else can hack the despair of capitalist society I'm not going to give up and let it extinguish all the good things in this world.

love exists independently of any mode of production. it comes from within the human being. it's not an external product of society

You could be anyone in this thread based on that description lel, you may need to be more specific. No offense of course, I also posted in the thread.


I'm this user(>>1692213 ). And furthermore, I think that any actual Socialist of any tendency can plainly see that we are not in a revolutionary moment yet. And while it's true that bitching about capitalism and our shitty lives is just talk, talk such as this can as like a reaffirmation for why we should commit to socialist causes. When the proletariat establishes the DotP, I think that it's pretty obvious that many more of them will be motivated by the parts of their lives that have been eroded by capitalism rather than being grim, nihilistic robots. You can even see this in the archival footage taken from 1917, you can see just how many smiling faces there were.

Aren't you that guy who made the long shitpost about anarchism while clearly having read exactly 0 pages of anarchist theory? Terminally cringy edgelord posting. Take a break from Holla Forums for a few years before you grow up.

Remember the time all those tankie girls posted their tits on Twitter? That was great.


I couldn't agree with you more user. Btw, I also like Mark Fisher, especially his writing on mental illness. Also, I think you're idea about moving is good, although I'd recommend something bigger then a car, like a trailer, you can find them pretty cheap to be honest. Or just subletting a very cheap apartment. Also, I'm the user who made these posts.


lol that sucks. i've been wrongfully accused of rape twice.

1st time was in highschool. this girl was really into me and so we got drunk as fuck together at my house and i had friends over and she said she wanted to have an orgy so we all got naked and started hooking up with her. got video she was genuinly cumming bricks. but then she got blackout drunk a little later and i was robottripping so i decided to just make her walk home (no clue why i didnt just take her home and avoid this mess). well she ended up making it to my community centers park only in a braw. she passes out on a bench. then some people call the cops because if u see a shirtless passed out girl at 3 am of course u are going to think she got raped. next day she didnt remember anything but got in trouble with the police for underage drinking and decided to tell everyone at school that i raped her so she wouldnt seem like a slut. she didnt tell the police that picked her up i raped her luckily because she knew it didnt happen and was just trying to save her reputation since having sex with multiple dudes in highschool makes you a slut and society deems that un-redeemable somehow. got a lot of shit for this, one of her friends keyed my car and one of her friends threw a drink at me at lunch but missed and hit some black kids and she got suspended for it. tldr: straight up did not rape a girl and got accused of it. really really really sucks.

2nd time was in college. was at a party and this ugly girl was dying to hook up with me so we hooked up in her friends room. she was really ugly but said i could do anal so we did for like a minute then i stopped and went back to the party on the patio. i was laughing about hooking up with her and for some reason one of her friends thought that it was rape because she was really drunk or something. he was misinformed/confused and thought for the rest of the night i had raped this girl lol. luckily the next morning the girl cleared it up with the guy who was apparently her roomates brother and we were cool after that.

apparently people jump on the opportunity to deem you a rapist if you are middle eastern even if you wouldn't harm a fly or even think about raping someone (im so skinny and cute i wouldn't even have the ability to if i was sick enough to want to force a girl to have sex with me if she didnt want to, also you have to be really mentally deranged to even be able to stay hard knowing the girl isnt into you).
really shitty stuff but then again thats life in florida

This is what I imagine most people's lives in Florida are like tbh.

yeah florida is shit. getting falsely accused of rape in highschool is extra shitty because the rumors become insanely warped and next thing you know you gotta worry about strangers trying to fight you over something that literally didn't happen because everyone wants to be a hero. one rumor was that i put a roofie in her alchohol. which is goofy since drinking in highschool is me and her and two friends passing around the same 15 dollar shitty cheap vodka bottle you were able to get from an older kid while your parents aren't home.

went through a lot of shit because of that ordeal but luckily everyone i knew from highschool is gone from my life since i go to college out of state and this happened like 4-5 years ago. seriously being accused of being a rapist is not fun, its a real struggle lol.

i only typed all that out because i truly feel for that other comrade who was falsley accused of being raped. the fact he can't even go outside anymore.,, the sheer 24/7 paranoia and inability to trust anyone ever again deep down inside is a real thing that happens to you if you get in that situation. it really really fucks with you and your ability to connect with people.
the thing that happened with me made it so i couldn't go to highschool anymore, i had to finish my senior year at home because i couldnt handle the callouts and pressure. but 5 years later im doing my masters degree, have a hot girlfriend who wants to get married (not that i care about girls while we live under this capitalist hellhole, or am even capable of trusting again)… and i do kinda enter NEET mode mentally where i dont do shit with friends or go out for a whole week depending on how im feeling but all in all i just want that comrade to know that it gets better. and in the end caring about things like american petit-bourgeoisie minded girls or love is stupid. just enjoy your life until by some miracle we achieve communism and all problems are solved.
i hope you get better comrade, also real talk try exercising and working out it will cure you. or painkillers. either one works.

Sounds like you treat women like shit, and I don't feel sorry for you at all.

moar plz

post the painting.
i believe you 100% btw, i'm disgusted any user here even had the audacity to say "we don't know her side of the story", if you actually had life experience with this sort of thing you would completely understand. of course an art student is going to consider having drunk mistake sex with a guy she just broke up with and who she doesn't find attractive as full blown rape and she's going to tell everyone you took advantage of her, hereby completely ruining your life over something that pitiful and stupid. Also she will wear it as a badge of honor as she is now a "rape survivor" cause some guy who truly loved her who she wasn't very attractive to had sex with her and she wasn't into it very much realizing it was a mistake to do it but went through it anyway with indecisiveness halfway through because she realized you are an ugly beta and that she wasnt attracted to you while you dated.
everyone will think you held this girl down and raped her, that she stated "NO STOP" and you continued anyway, or that you used mind games on her but really it was just two drunk kids who used to go out hooking up, having bad sex, and the girl afterwards realizing it sucked and that technically by SJW standards that it was full blown rape . rape that she can use to make herself feel like a victim/colorful and deep edgy background. every boyfriend she ever has till she dies will have a day where she sees her crying (because shes unhinged) and he will ask her whats wrong, she will say "i've lived a hard life, i'm not a normal girl i've done blah blah blah, also i was a victim of rape. someone i trusted raped me" and he will hold her and say "if i ever saw that black and white prick i'll kill him", slowly giving her the attention and confidence she needs to cheer up. because by this point you've become a cartoon villian monster in her mind. (and in the mind of all your friends because of the rumors she spread)

She is a sick disgusting human being who deserves the wall.

Also i know you reading this will probably disagree with me and say "oh but you don't even know 100% of the story/her side/what really happened". thats bullshit. for a fact i gurantee you that you don't know just how shitty these american bourgeoisie girls are deep down inside. they use this shit to further their mental butterfly self image and even art careers utterly destroying the guy who had bad regrettable sex with them. utterly destroying our comrades life and ability to ever speak to anyone again human in the process.

she will tell her friends she was raped because of her narcasistic need for attention and paint paintings of how evil and heartless one of our comrades is (as if literally any leftypol beta on here would rape the girl he loved).
you were just a notch on her sjw traschan ideology belt. now she is able to truly identify with all those tumblr posts about how bourgeoisie women were brutally raped by their college friends that they trusted because highschoolers and college kids are brutal rapists deep down inside and boys are evil and the real problem in society isn't capitalism, its "patriarchy" (which totally doesn't stem from capitalism)

why do you say that? i don't treat women like shit at all, i'm a communist. in fact i still see them as some sacred entity too pure for this world. i know it sounds stupid and fucked up to put them on a pedestal like that when both sexes should be 100% completely equal, but communism is helping me fix that. im trying not to care about literally anything bourgeoisie. and love in capitalist society with reactionaries is the most petit-bourgouise emotion of all.

he gave them what they wanted and for a while they were happy. No idea why he took her home that wasted and probably stinking like sex tho. Russian roulette that

without some higher meaning put into it love is just yet another form of masturbation

Lel, definitely not fam. Aside from that, I have to admit everything you've posted here is true, even the part where my first kneejerk reaction was to defend her in my mind. It's just difficult to accept that someone I thought meant so much to me cared so little for me, or that discarding me meant so little to her. I don't think it's hyperbolic to say she ruined my life, and yet, when I'm at my unhealthiest, I look at her social media and she's having a blast, surrounded by friends, traveling, her new bf looks like Joaquin Phoenix from Her, and all the while her entire career seems to revolve around presenting herself as a rape survivor, it's what all her art is about and basically almost her entire "gimmick". Also, you're right about me being beta, otherwise I think it would be a lot easier for me to just move on, to not even think twice about what she thinks, or what my old friends think, I hate to say that it practically haunts me. She even spoke at an event organized at my school for campus rape awareness. In reality, not only did I ask consent, but I asked twice, and eventually, after not being that into it half way through, which I misread as her just being tired after a full night, she asked me to leave and I obliged, I didn't push things or insist that we finish. Looking back I honestly don't know what I could have done differently, it feels like this was something shitty that was just always going to happen to me no matter what.

ate out her ass and puss if she didnt get off that much from how you fucked (probable)

also its pointless to ask a girl for consent. If she doesnt want to fuck she'll stop you. If she does want to fuck nothing kills that drive more than having some whiny dude cry for permission a few times.

Come on fam, not here >>>Holla Forums

the other bad thing he did was fuck her without a narrative.

i know that feel comrade, been through it twice to a way lesser degree obviously. some people are just sociopaths and narcissists thanks to this society. try not to think about it anymore, you have the immortal science now.

rich western muh privileged bourgeoisie women are shit

also… fuckoff nazi. go back to Holla Forums

can you please post a picture of her? theres no way anyone could or even would doxx her just from a picture. also this is leftypol the 6 people on here wouldn't even take the time to do that


Honestly I wouldn't recommend this. Not because of idpol based moralizing but more for pragmatic reasons. As someone whose gone down this path, I can tell you that the mindset much pua culture imbues with you isn't conducive to getting laid.

When your mindset with girls is always whats the quickest way from point A to them naked in your bed it can sort of frighten them and turn them off. There is some good information about social dynamics but it is buried in a mountain of toxic shit which is mostly based around pursuing the spook of idealized hyper-masculinity.

The actual good insights from the PUA community can be boiled down to:
1. Work Out
2. Actually Approach Women
3. Try not to get too invested in rejection
4. Try to emotionally connect with people

If you want to do better with Women the best thing to do are practice your game and try and make female friends. Also reading books about sex can actually be pretty useful for improving your confidence and also having better sex.

I would recommend reading Models: Attract Women Through Honesty (non-toxic good pick up book that actually shits on most of the pua community) and She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Women (good book on how to give oral and fuck properly, I can tell you from personal experience that learning to give Oral properly can really make girls crazy for you)

You had best delete this post, if you know what's best for you, tovarisch.

Alunya is not a slut nor would she ever allow herself to get porked.

This and learning how to eat pussy good is great advice. Best basic advice I can give is not to go straigjt for the clit but tease them a little bit.

Anyways sounds like you got grazed by a bullet user with the crazy ex, but imagine if you would've staid with her and she pulled this shit when you guys were married or had a kid or something. I never had a long term relationship instead spending high school until now fucking sluts and previously doing drugs, but I have had shit friends who fucked me over and abandoned me. You'll be better off in the long-run user, just try getting out there and getting fit.

I was just thinking of something like this. Glad it exists. Here goes:

I live in Georgia's contested 6th district. You may have heard about us. Now there's a runoff election coming up, and the Dems might have a chance but they probably won't win as this district is still probably about 51% Republican or so.

Anyway, I haven't had work in years. I eventually accepted that I didn't care any more - at this point I would be doing long busywork shifts for slightly above current min. wage and just to (barely) support living under the wing of my white collar parents again.

So, anyway, back on topic. Our district's republican candidate's now running ads about how the dem is a Hollywood liberal, how California loves him, how he'll "raise taxes on the middle class," whathaveyou. It's cliche as shit, but it makes me think - because I visited Hollywood once and I wasn't even there for a full two months but in that time I had several spontaneous job offers. But I had to turn them down - because I don't live in Hollywood, I live in the 6th district and I had to go back to the 6th district so I could crawl for miles and take down every "now hiring" sign I see, and without fail have my applications rejected because I got fired once and there've been inevitable gaps since then. The Hollywood folks didn't even ask about my resume. And the bars there didn't have cover. And the transit was cheaper.

I'm sure I couldn't afford to live in California, but fuck me if I can afford to live here. At least there I could be a hustler or something.

Then, the police get my friends for thoughtcrime now and then. Not about leftism - I have creepy friends, yeah. I don't know about entrapment, though, but at least I'm a little bit more alone so something's got to be working.

There's this mentality - "I worked hard all my life" yeah, and you were fucking paid more, too, and there were more jobs and you could get a decent career and modest living in a trade without any more than on-the-job training. It pisses me off, you know. My friends get arrested for playing pretend, some of my former bosses get out scot-free for real life wage theft. And apparently it's all California's fault or something.

PUA? pick up artist? are you some kind of literal faggot?

listen dude. girls are severely over rated and will not make you happy. take it from someone who has had sex with like 40 of them and who has almost sworn it off (besides just with my girlfriend). Your happiness has nothing to do with having girlfriends. its about the dopamine in your brain, if you workout and exercise as gay as this sounds the dopamine will go off and being happy and getting a girlfriend will come naturally. no longer will you feel self pitty or doubt or anxiety or any negative emotions because they simply won't be there anymore. its just like a weird magic that happens to you. then before you know it you are a normal functioning member of society with a nice relationship and friends, ready to destroy capitalism.

Not everyone will sell out their ideals for pussy. Stop projecting Holla Forums.

Damn m8 that's a tough situation. When I was 18 I lost my virginity to a girl who was blackout drunk. I was also quite drunk and don't necessarily feel bad about what I did but in hindsight it was a bit shady. I remember their being vague rumors that I had taken advantage of her but she seemed ok with what had happened. The vague rumors were enough to totally terrify me and basically totally ruined my ability to take any initiative with Women. I didn't get laid again until I was 22. I can't imagine the deep sense of shame and terror I would have had if she accused me of something so I can empathize with how deeply rape accusation can break you as a person.

Ultimately though you are still young and you can avoid having to deal with any of those people again. I'm confident your life will turn out ok comrade, good luck.

Damn, a lot of people on this board (including me) fall into the ecsdee ACCELERATIONISM meme sometimes but when you hear about the human cost it seems pretty vapid.

Don't do it lads. Suicide is a permanent "solution" to temporary problems. We live in a time of flux, where things are moving quickly. As lenin said “there are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.”

Who know what opportunities the years to come will bring. We make get a chance to build a new world yet or at least not go into the dark quietly versus the fascists.

Come on man you know thats bullshit its natural to seek comapinonship no matter what your political beliefs.

Someone else suggested it. I was recommending not to do it based off my experience with lurking pua forums when I was younger. Look dude go ahead and call me a faggot or whatever and yeah its pretty pathetic but when you grow up with no female friends/family how to interact with girls can be pretty mystifying.

Also you're right about pussy being massively overrated but I can guarantee you didn't have that mindset when you were a virgin.

Thank you user.

Don't worry, friends. One day we'll seize the means of production and then ensure that the future and all its property belongs to the Caucasian race as Stirner predicted.

I'm afraid to actually get serious with my first and only gf (I'm 27) because I've spent too long in Internet forums and I just can't deal with the fact she settled for me after fucking a lot of other dudes and would probably leave me if Chad would ask to. Help

None of you will ever top the Nazi raping tankie. What a legend he was.

Holy shit in remember that. Anyone got a screen cap?

What's this now?

A Nazi couple tried beating up a tankie, he beat them both up, raped the girl, then fled the country. Somebody archived it but I don't have it.

Porkywood is a boogeyman. I live in Texas and some fags here think California is the USSR.

If she'd leave you for a fictional character at the drop of a hat she isn't worth being with anyway.

Why do you need this thread and not just take it to /leftytrash/?

someone please find that archive

feels good man

don't read Nietzsche if you're depressed about Capitalism and want to be a Socialist. He hated Socialists and Collectivism along with the idea of equality and pretty much everything associated with the Left. Him and Stirner have nothing to do with Leftism

this was how it went for me except I started liberal and I lost my virginity in the nihilist phase


I'm a Leaf. My family is mostly a gaggle of apolitical Christian fundamentalists("Politics is just a way to divide us, stop thinking about politics and pray more"), with a few full-blown Holla Forumsacks mixed in because everything has to be shite all the time. Most of my friends are on the Hillary=UberGigaMegaJeebsus bandwagon, and they think the Holodomor was not Nazi propaganda, and that minuscule reforms with the pace of molasses are the greatest thing ever.

t. Holla Forums sperg

I know that feel, I wish none of us knew that feel, and I hope we all live to see the day when that is no longer a track playing in all of our minds.

Sperg pride world wide

so i took someone's advice on this forum to learn a trade and i think i really suck at it. unfortunately, i've had equally shitty experiences in other jobs and i don't see how quitting would make anything better. thinking about going back to school but i'm beyond fed up with that shit and i haven't seen all those years i put into education pay off yet.

tl;dr: who cares about girlfriends, i just need a CAREER

I tried going this route to with auto-repair and it wasn't worth it

pretty much this

what clued you in that you weren't mechanical? i can figure stuff out but i'm hardly gifted in this regard.

just not being able to figure things out at the same speed as the people I was learning with and not having the desire to learn more on my own. It was obvious it was a waste of money and time and I regret meme'ing myself into this idea that you can just pick up talents that people are meant to work with based on their inherited skills or family background.

There's only one solution - become a Chad

Holodomor is a historical fact, face it, faggot!

Story time? Story time.

How did I do fams? Did I screw up or do you think I can make this work?

so what is a person meant to do when they're not good at anything?

who the fuck is the guy in the middle?

yeah i kind of feel like the expectations are a bit high in this regard

although this guy might have more maturity and wisdom and insight than the two of us.

you don't want to know the answers to these questions

like this concept that you should only do trades if it's a calling is a bit rich

did you ever fix stuff at home? i'm usually pretty capable of fixing things that break. not a genius, but good enough.

yes, some people are perfectly capable of working on cars and being electricians. Other people are not, and shouldn't try. Or if they do it should be as a hobby not a vocation. Carpentry isn't as complicated as auto-repair or performance auto-mechanical work and is still prohibitively difficult to become competent at that most people would not make money doing it. You can become certified in these fields without being good enough to get hired at a garage or small firm. I don't know why people expect to break into fields that there are already tons of talented people in who are naturally good at that skill. It just seems like a meme to me.

except that, apparently, there aren't. i'm inexplicably still employed as an electrician although probably i should do my boss a favor and quit already.

the guy who hired me said he'd had his ad up over a year and the only guy who responded didn't show for the interview.

lol i don't know what to tell you, my experience was different. You may be be just being hard on yourself. I know there's a shortage of trade workers and I also know that there's a shortage of people who are in possession of the skills necessary to be competent trade workers. That's what my whole point is. There's just a gap between people who should be working in those fields and people who are lacking the talent to work in those fields and education is not going to close the gap. Its genetic.

you may well be right

You're right Nietzsche did hate socialism. But that's not a reason to not read him. If you never read any author who disagrees with you regardless of how much that disagreement actually comes in their works you would be an idiot.

I have a feeling you're just a wandering Holla Forumsyp that hasn't actually read Nietzsche but still somehow believes that he's "yours".

Except you know, all that lasting influence in later leftist thinkers?

I also don't what you're bringing up Stirner for when him and Nietzsche are very different.

Oh i read his shit
I'm about to read Spengler as well I read all kinds of dumb niggers' works
no, I have read this fuckers shit and he is 100% not a Leftist and would hate all of you and the entire Left movement of the 20th century as well as the post-modern post-leftist intellectuals.
Yes he and hegel influenced the Left, they themselves were not Leftists. Hegel was an insane Mystic Idealist and Stirner was a narcissistic Sadistic Psychopath who literally wanted to own other humans for his own pleasure, it wasn't a cute gesture of independence it was a genuine desire to just dominate others and he absolutely believed in private property rights.

Did you read my post? It's not about how Nietzsche is secretly a leftist. It's about how you shouldn't exclusively read authors who align with your politics. The value of Nietzsche would be lost on you if your main concern is how much he agrees with me, that's something only a pleb cares about.

Except that wasn't my point. I acknowledge Nietzsche isn't a leftist, however he has a lot to do with leftism given how his works influenced later leftist thought significantly.

Are you a fucking idiot?
To Stirner the only property that mattered was his own. He had nothing but contempt for anyone else's claim to "property" and "rights" for that matter.

Not to mention desiring to dominate others requires relinquishing ones own independence. As you would know if you actually read books.

tangentially and in a derivative way, he himself was not a Leftist and would not have cared for the idea that he shared ideas with them
no this doesn't work at all, his union of egoists would necessarily be a union of people asserting property rights. Its lazy logic
This isn't self-evident to most people and isn't a presupposition that you genuinely hold or make us of or that anyone on this board does so why mention it now?

He would not have cared what others thought about him period, leftist or otherwise. The only thing he was afraid of was sanctifying his works and his self posthumously to the point where his thought would become a secularized religion.

"Nietzsche thought X therefore we must think X".
"Nietzsche hated Y therefore Y is bad".

Such thought totally misses the point of his books.

Would it?
Why not a union of people without property rights because they've mutually agreed they don't want to pay rent or do wage labour?
Why would they respect the "property rights" of anyone external to their union?

Is it not un-egoist to declare what a union of egoists must do?

Well because it's true. Nietzsche and (IIRC) do point this out within their works. In order to dominate people your yourself must permanently surrender part of your life to maintaining that domination. As cool as conquerors are in a romantic way once they achieved that power any independence they had was RIP. The rest of their life was dedicated to holding onto what they achieved.

And I mentioned it because you said something that was flagrantly untrue, and this is important as to why. Stirner is not about achieving maximum hierarchical power, he's about achieving maximum independence.

*(IIRC) Stirner

what creates NEETS guys

do people just lose track of everything that's motivating and end up in their parents' basements?

feeling like i want to crawl back there a bit now

You can't outrun a spoon. Work on your diet. Also weighlifting is good for you. Don't neglect it. Keep up the cardio, though. You're doing good.

Who else is /undergroundman/ here?

Normies ruined it.

Alienation + Economic Crisis + Technology that makes communication easier = NEETs.

But basicaly, Alienation.

Do we really have enough numbers to support more than one board?

You did fine.
But I think it's friendzone for this one.

I suggest not mentioning it for the time being and just act "natural".

… damn.


It's good. Read it. It's Chan culture in a nutshell.


Not to brag, but I've ran 7 miles straight before. Not too shabby imo.

Holy shit. I dropped a tear. This is me. This really is the end of the line, isn't it? There is no communism. There is no end to alienation, to the all-consuming Spectacle. This is how the rest of my life will be. Kill me now, because I can't do it myself.
I remember reading "Crime And Punishment", and feeling at home in every way with Raskolnikov - except for that I had nothing to hide but my own shameful isolation when I read his story. Now, the inevitable has passed and I have drifted past the bounds of what society deems reintegrable - as a communist who is more and more solely defined by being a communist, I have finally completed my fruitless voyage in search of enjoyment by entering the purest possible jouissance by abruptly and painfully severing myself from the Spectacle and with it any last modicum of connection to the people around me. As communists, anarchists, we all here have everything to hide from Porfiry just as Raskolnikov did. Our existence as underground men is inevitably itself a crime, though we may desperately try to escape it before it becomes set in stone as such.
Fuck you and thank you, Dostoevsky. Too bad his solution at the end of "Crime And Punishment" forces us back to the beginning of the loop of madness where theism becomes rationalism becomes materialism, all in dialectical fashion. What Dostoevsky doesn't realize is this - once an underground man, always an underground man. It is only the destruction of underlying material conditions which allow for them to exist which can cause them not to exist. Sonya is not real, especially not in the black hearts of those most alienated.

That's probably not true. Your current inability to satisfy your social needs should not be mistaken for an inherent inadequacy. With practice you can find people to make your comrades. You might need to find a new place to live but there are people who exist that will recognize that basic humanity within you.

Don't give up hope and succumb to the alienation. Satisfy your species-essence and repair your soul.

One way or another, I'll find a way to make a difference. Maybe I'll find a reason to live on the way.

That's not what that means, man. Are you just fucking with me now?

What did he mean by this?

I have never known that feel.

I know getting in contact must be the last thing you want, but do you know if she's aware of how much harm she has done?

Usually I'd say you need therapy to deal with severe trust issues this incident caused, but I don't think that's within your options, right now. With that in mind, seeking closure with her might be a longshot, but, to be blunt, it's free.

In God's name user, don't tell me you dated Zoe Quinn.

Anyway, I guess this closes the "closure" option.


I have the feeling that owadays that would be a cuck lifestyle book.

Was it you who posted in an earlier feel thread about how you're still spooked from the time you frequented Holla Forums and /r9k/?

I don't have that one but I have this.

Anyway, do you remember any exact uncommon sequence of words from the post? Doesn't need to be many, just 2 words are enough if the combination is unique enough.

/leftytrash/ is a thread.

Holy mother of alienation, that's incredible. I was thinking "He perfectly predicted us, geeks, introverts and so many other smart, alienated, lost people that are so common on the internet".

But when I got to the end of the second post that starts at "The only emotional interactions he can have…", I thought "Shit, he actually predicted cuck fetishists!"

Anyway, barring that part of the second post, it was me to a tee. Jesus, I really need to increase my reading pace. I'm already bogged down with eftist theory and cybernetics, and now I want literature too. Maybe I should sever my corpus callosum so that I can read one book with each eye at the same time.

I don't have any hope for the future. I only see fascism on the rise and nothing, not even the most delusional childish accelerationists, to give any light on the horizon.

If my chronic illness doesn't kill me, I'll probably commit suicide.

As you advance you will be less stuck in everything you read. Yesterday I spent like 4 hours reading 10 pages of Critique of Political Economy because of how thick it is. And I really lack discipline

Visiting Europe for the first time really makes me hate living in the US even more than ever. I wish I could immigrate, but I'll probably be stuck living in that shithole forever.

Where did you go?

Come live in Scotland with me lad

Europe, where the North has a shitty climate and the South a shitty economy.

It means you can't work yourself skinny. You have to change your diet, not just go on a diet, but permanently change the way you eat.

7 years with out gf 3 and a half years with out getting laid.
I have considered suicide in multiple occasions over this situation.
But I fear leaving my mom and my pets alone I don't think no one would take care of them as much as I do.

statistically it's not unlikely


Is zizek a sexual pervert?
I get the feeling that he is because he talks a lot about genitalia and sex.

funny you should say so. i was just in canada and thought it was kind of shit.

the free affordable healthcare and college was nice. but there's very much a monoculture there one which i wasn't entirely comfortable with.

Oh, I didn't understand what you meant at first. It means you need to work on your diet. Well, I already lost 30 pounds by forcing myself to fast 2 days a week (as I mentioned above). I liked it because it was an easy schedule and I could still eat junk food. That doesn't seem to work as well anymore, however.
I read an article recently in Scientific American about how the way to lose weight according to peer-reviewed and retested scientific studies (which are actually pretty rare in the buzzing world of "health advice") is to eat foods with low glycemic indexes. So I'm going to try that. No more simple carbs (sugars, white bread, etc). More protein, fat, and fruits and vegetables. Stuff like scrambled eggs with canned spinach for breakfast.
I wonder though, if I'm pursuing greater health because I don't want to admit to myself that I'm incompatible with most of the people around me for deeper reasons than my body. I have no hobbies other than studying math and cybernetics and leftism and CS. Outside of school, I only go outside to eat with my family or to run with my dog. All I do for fun is read, code, and post on this board.
Where do I even start? I can't even give off an aura of self-esteem around other people, and that seems to drive them off and only make things worse for me. I hate this cult of positivity and working harder at what you're assigned to ignore what disturbs this bliss. It's mocking, almost excessively so, to those who are completely estranged.

This is irrelevant, I'm 23 years old and I'm in my first year of university, nobody cares…and there are older guys than me.

I know that feel user. No glimmer of hope, maybe just the soon-to-be-extinguished twinkle of Rojava. But them's the breaks, we were born at the wrong time. Maybe we'll catch the revolution if we live long enough, so go exercise.

Considering suicide over just gf and pussy? Come on user.

Anyone else know this rage?


If it makes any of you feel better. I'm glad you all exist, it's nice to have somewhere to go where I can talk about my politics without Holla Forums shit.

From an ugly tranny ;;


It has been years of anxiety and stress and I have is just my hand a man has a serious need to bust a nut I bet you know it.
Not only that I have only one real life friend and last time I saw him was 3 months ago I have a serious need for interaction and I just don't get much.

Idk man you didn't embarrass yourself or anything but I think she probably just wants to be friends. Not a terrible thing tbh she may introduce you to other qts and having female friends signifies to other girls that you are not a creep.

In the future I would recommend just going in for the kiss at a moment you are both having a good time rather than telling people how you feel. Girls minds work in a weird way, if you are assertive enough sometimes you can sort of change their feelings about the situation in the moment. It would be weird to do that to that Christie after you had that talk though.

I'm in kind of a weird situation in my life. I feel pretty…IDK, disillusioned? Alienated? Depressed? Numb sums it up well too.

I just wrapped up my Phd in biomedicine, I'm a doctor. I love science, love my research, but academic science is a fucking pipe dream at this point. Completely ruined by bourgeois politics, corrupted beyond disbelief, which means go into industry pumping out anti-diarrhea or errection pills for the rest of my life. No go

And I live on the federal poverty limit. Teaching pays jack shit and adjuncts are exploited af, research funding is shit, competition for industry makes it untenable and morally its excellent. The only thing I have look forward to is going to France next month and maybe hitching a job there so I can hook up with anarchists there. American science is hopeless.

lol excellent is a word filter to excellent?

sage for test post

Capitalism destroys what we love fam. I just want to make films but even if I'm able to form a co-op I'm gonna have to gargle a lot of porky semen to do it.

Read the FAQ (link at top of page) if you want to know how to format text and shit. Also sage goes in the email field, not the name field.

Alcohol fam, I just put it in both fields cuz I forget

I love co-ops but they are fighting a moral fight against immoral corporate fucks. I'd prefer to drop out of society and go full insurrectionary but I know FBI lurks here so I'll say no more. Nevertheless you are correct capitalism corrupts everything in chase of profit. In medicine, diseases become markets and the sick become sources of profit. We triage disease based on greatest extraction of profit. Nonprofitable diseases are tossed in the trash can while human quality of life suffers so the system can pump out anti-depressants that make you want to kill yourself, all with the FDA's approval. Why even bother with this shit.

Sorry sir, I'm gonna have to arrest you for posting under the influence (PUI)…

shit was only a matter of time before I got caught caught

It owns that I can suddenly feel on the verge of death at the drop of a hat, and have to drop everything and stop what I'm doing to stop myself from hyperventilating. It owns really hard that I'm too much of a nervous wreck to bother to learn how to drive despite being in my mid 20s. It fucking owns when I've never touched a woman, let alone been alone with one for more than a few moments. It owns that the vague malaise that seemed to hang over every corner of my life during childhood and adolescence has been slowly replaced by the very real pain of poverty, hunger, and disability right in front of my face while I barely noticed. It owns that my every interaction with the real world outside of vicarious saturation in the internet's endless torrent of stimulation is mediocre, tedious, horrific or all of the above.

I'm this close t getting fentanyl off of Agora and permanently going to sleep.

Woops, sorry that I quoted that user's post. Regardless though, I'd like to be ground up and processed into Soylent.

we're here for you, comrade. if it makes you feel any better, i'm trying to work on myself. i stopped watching porn this week. working on getting qt black gf… will hopefully report back next week with results

i could totally see him being into some wild shit, like scat or something like that… wouldnt surprise me one bit

yeah dude. i feel you. i was a LE STEM kid, and granted, i have a good job and all, but i can't say i'm a good coder. i feel woefully unprepared for the job market. just scraping by right now… most of my 'free' time is spent learning how to ACTUALLY do my job… and they wonder why i hate capitalism heh. like, money is great, sure, but what is it worth if all your time is spent preparing to do MORE work? this defies common sense… it really gives you those 'ponzi scheme' vibes real fast, seeing boomers who didn't have to work half as hard as you because they had 'time' on their side to just roll with the punches.

and honestly man yeah.. fuck school. i decided long ago there's no turning back.. i am avoiding 'back to school' at all costs… that shit is entirely fucked by the market and are run just like corporations these days… so sad but so true

I'm sorry to everyone who has had a bad time. My life is pretty shitty right now too, me and my BF broke up because I finished uni while he was going into his first year and I had to move back home with my parents. I wanted to stay with him but I couldn't afford anywhere to live and I had no job, and the thought of doing a postgrad made me so stressed out when I barely finished my bach degree. So now I'm at home and after 6 months of depression our long distance 'relationship' has disintegrated and we officially broke up a week ago, not that it really makes any difference to my everyday life since I haven't seen him in months. I just started my first job doing grunt work at a supermarket, I feel like my journalism degree was so valuable, I literally have the shittest job in the whole place as far as I can tell, my job is to lift and move giant crates of fruit all day, I work for 3 and a half hours straight before I get an unpaid break and then work 3 and a half more, and I'm not even on a schedule since they just call me up at the start of the week and tell me when I'm working.

Anyway… I don't really know what my point was. I've been clinically depressed since like puberty and ten years later I still am. My greatest dream is that there's a revolution for me to die in. I just want the world to be a better place for someone.

But since this is supposed to be a hopeful thread sorta I'll post this from my collection.

Damn man, I'm copping a PhD in chemistry and intending to go into research as a career. Should I just give up on my dreams, if capitalism's already ensured there's nothing at the end of the road?
I joke about "terminal postdoc" a lot, the skyrocketing average PI ages, and the way "more people in STEM!" propaganda, put out by the people funding research, creates a serious oversupply of candidates relative to funding and directly contributes to the other two, but truth is it eats at me a lot lately

There's substantial independent and informed support for the clinical efficacy and value of antidepressants though

In my point of view, it's absolutely mind-boggling that people consider these to be downright "ugly" or butterfaces. They really don't look that bad

My most common feel is no feel other than just a bit shit in general. Lifes ok like but I just can't be bothered. Currently saving for a house solely because thats what you're meant to do. I kinda want to die but not to the point where I want to kill myself. I think if I ever do get to that point i'll try and give life some meaning somehow. I guess I could join a co-op or YPG or some shit if I get that far.

Now the prop has swung the other way and all I hear is 'more people in trades!' trying to get these dumbshit proles to understand that jobs aren't going to save them is an uphill fucking battle.

No advice to add, just wanted to say I've been there and you seem like the sort of dude who needs a hug so have one on me, friend:


Friend, i've been there. I'm not obsessed with perfect body, i've always enjoyed simpler women, who wear little to no makeup, dress simple jeans + hoodie, i don't care if it has a flat ass, big boobs, small boobs, flat chest etc.
I went through all the stages, first i hated myself, then i hated all women and then i got to the point wher ei reached inner peace and just stopped caring…i just stopped caring about relationships, if i will ever find someone who loves me, i genuinely was fine with and if i had to spend the rest of my life single and virgin i was fine with it.
That's when i find the woman of my dreams…Stay strong my friend.

Not him but this is where I am right now. I have literally no desire to seek out or engage in one. Maybe if someone perfect fell into my life and it just kinda happened I guess I will but until then I'm just riding it out.

Will I ever stop being dumb?
Is it even possible?

I wonder this sometimes. It's taken me a month to get half way through the bread book and I'm not even sure if it's going in.

It seems like you feel false-guilt over what happened. She didn't take it to the police because she knows you didn't really rape her or even if she believes you did the evidence is really flimsy. I agree with the other user try moving to a different town, state or country. If she or one of her friends ever shows up and harasses you about it IRL ask them why she never went to the police if she believes so strongly that that's what happened

yes, yes, I know this is all very lawcucked, but sometimes you can use a spook to make a point

Yo I know this is unrelated and 2 days late but I was looking for this chart the other day. Cheers.
I was trying to do this but I didn't have the time for other hobbies with wagecucking as well. Might aim for 200 in the end.


My problems seem so petty compared to a lot of people here.

I haven't done shit all week other than housework and working out, I was going to start working on my schoolwork again yesterday but I overexerted myself like a dumbass and threw out my back and just as my luck would have it my two chronic pain conditions flare up.

No GF because of that and being raised in a religious cult and attachment issues that come from that, probably why my last girlfriend (almost five years ago) cheated on me.

I think I'm getting better slowly, I wish I could finally break through all that shit and live a more comfortable life.

On Twitter

fuck her. don't blame anyone but her for that, and certainly don't blame yourself. you're worth more than that, user.

Here's essentially my life story. It's pretty long but I think it's absurd enough to be interesting, if not funny.

Cont. in next post because body is too long.

Well, there's my longass life story that you probably skipped over after seeing the massive wall of green text. Sometimes I get angry and bitter that everything important in my life was just 2 years worth of mostly disappointing Sundays and Tuesday nights, but I know it's not anyone's fault. I feel like it's too late to turn my life around, and that all I can do is make the world better so that no one has to feel this lonely and alienated again. I'm sure many here know what a lot of the things I mentioned feels like.

Speaking as a 20 year old student from the UK, idpol isn't as bad here as the internet might make you think. I mean, it's bad, but there will always be more reasonable people than unreasonable people even amongst the leftist crowd (from my experience).

Idiots are loud, but let them know they don't run everything, y'know?

This would've fucked up everything, she probably wouldn't even want to remain friends if you did that.


This actually made me feel a lot better. I'm glad to hear that.

Good relationships are cooperatives, not hierarchies.

Thank you user, I'm glad for you too. It's nice to have some vidya thread every once in a while that doesn't devolve into a storm of artefact-ridden racist collages.

I'm guessing you already heard this, but it's what little advice I can give. Look up on Meetups.com, if you're in America there should be a shitload of groups. Try starting that sport you always was curious about but never did, the existing players love having more people to play with. Even some nerd stuff like RC cars or whatever can provide some sense of community. But needless to say, it requires you to act.

That's the most late stage capitalism thing I ever read. It doesn't have the same absurdity as "free medium fries for every veteran", it just has crude reality.

Ever heard of HNK? I have the feeling that it's a real world case of Big Pharma keeping a "cure" away while making a killing with treatments that barely work. One of my dreams is starting some NGO or whatever that dispenses it.

It's weird how some of us just fall through the cracks, isn't it? Civilization is a millenia-old machine built to extract our life-time for the benefit of the few, and capitalism is its apex so far, and yet some of us don't fit. Neither a regular exploited worker, nor an exploiter. Exceptions, anomalies, the proverbial square pegs in round holes.

Maybe we're just the most vulnerable group to the epidemic that is alienation. We're early victims. In a few decades, alienation will be considered a global crisis, mark my words.

Since you're so close to actually an heroing with drugs, you should at least try to treat yourself with them before, right? Nothing to lose. I'll post a guide soon.

Hopefully we'll have some news about a novel antidepressant soon.

Please see the spoiler above.

But user, an honest job is the quickest road to riches. :^)


user, I'm glad you didn't make the same mistake I did. I was studying in a foreign country and was having a tough time socializing i.e. I wasn't socializing at all. I mean I already was a social leper at home, let alone in a different country.

Anyway, one day I'm coming back home to waste another day in front of the computer, when I pass by several fellow students having a little barbecue in a nice sunny day. One guy motions me to come over in a very clear and friendly way. So I go over start the chit-chat, like what do I do at the university etc. After a few of these questions, I do what I was desperate to do the whole time I was with them, which is the most moronic thing I could have done: I excuse myself and leave, talking some bullshit about how I prefer to relax alone.

The perfect opportunity for me to finally meet people there fell right on my lap, out of the blue, and I still fucked up and wasted it. You can't believe how much more balls you have than me.

And that's me at every single damn party.

I fully understand your need to find a community and to connect, oh God do I. There's nothing in the world I want more than to find someone in the same wavelength as me. But at least you put some effort into into. It may not seem like much to you, but believe me, it's more than many people do. Not to belittle your experience, of course, just saying that you essentially know to get started, and you should keep at it, trying more and more. See what I said about Meetups.com above.

Good relationships are whatever people like and it varies.


Being dommed would only be good if monster girls were real.

this is actually true tho ibew will take almost anyone who can demonstrate you're smart.

it doesn't mean you can keep a job but they'll keep recycling thru the books til you do.

i mean, i'm female and an average mechanic and i'm inexplicably still employed as an electrician. i get shit on all the time for all of the above but i'm still working.

i feel really lucky to be a union electrician sometimes.

you really do have to figure out how to pick things quickly on the job but the formal education requirement is minimal.

any drafters here? i see a lot of ads on craigslist but i'm not sure how to get the education. there's a national certification association but it looks shady.

t. virgin

If you try to kiss a girl if they aren't down they will just pull away, then
you: "I'm sorry I misjudged the situation"
them: "thats OK"
you: "I hope we can remain friends, I think you are a cool person"
them: "yeah I think you're cool as well, I just don't want you getting the wrong idea"
you: "no I totally understand"

Reading about peoples lives like this is so fascinating. Its strange because nothing interesting really happens, but its just so raw. I imagine most peoples lives (including mine) would sound a lot like this when typed out. No real watershed moments or changes just aimless wandering, feel a connection briefly with a girl but never really have it go anywhere, loneliness and alienation.

Anyways user thanks for sharing, I hope we can build a better world together.

Not him but generally most guys will stop wasting time being "friends" with a girl if she isn't dtf.dont encourage people to be beta orbiter s dude

Being normal with normal friends is stressful in ways they forget. I think most people acknowledge this but they acknowledge different aspects of it. You would not believe the shit I am getting for liking an indian chick. She is so pretty to me and has gorgeous eyebrows. I have gorgeous eyebrows. Our children would be stern and unstoppable.

This is what I get for hanging out with other druggie tech radicals. They are all from different ethnic backgrounds and I am the only one who isn't fucking racist. I keep validating them with my stupid sense of humor because it is the only part of my personality which holds together in public and I get drunk with them and talk shit about distros.

Of course these tech geeks hate pajeet. I am so stupid. Espousing her beauty made it worse. She is an engineer and our friendship is the purest sperg blossom. But now that I think about it I lie constantly and act like a straight-edge human being around her. If she knew about my lifestyle she'd think I'm crazy and insincere. I'm not a coder who has heard of drugs. I am a mess who has heard of coding and wants to go to there.

Anybody else here high functioning and self hating?

My main argument against an heroing, is, we shall all die anyway. There is no reason to live the cinema, no matter how bad the film is. If it's bad anyway, at least you saw the film. If it gets good.. well.. it got good. But why not see the rest of the film?
Also, if it helps, you're not alone. I know it doesn't

But won't she help you get there if she knows you want to get there, no matter how mess you are?

Not sure what to tell you man, chemistry might be OK, I honestly have no idea. I don't wanna say give up on it man, finish it but recognize things might not turn out as you plan. Have a backup plan in case because thats the reality unfortunately.

Yea I know I'm actually a neuroscientist, I do know a lot about that I was just being cynical because I was a little drunk and depressed. but on the whole the pharmaceutical industry is so rife with fraud, such as data fudging its hard to be optimistic about the industry as a whole.

I hadn't heard of it until you just mentioned it. In regard to "supressing" cures, there could be truth to that, IDK. What I do know is from friends that run research groups in companies like Astra-Zeneca is the way research is done, potential cures do get covered up. I can also say that it is ENTIRELY related to capitalism. 100%. I can elaborate if u want

bf sent dick pics

That's nothing. I'm 19 and the military service contract I signed dictated that I must serve 5 years of active duty before being placed in reserves for 3 years afterwards, meaning that I won't be able to go to college until I'm at least 24

Yeah, there's definitely no way to manage 1 film a day, but it's more something to aim for, sometimes I can go a whole week without watching a movie, then I'll binge watch on a day I'm completely free or in the mood, and sometimes I'll watch two films a day if they're shorter films. Anyway, i think 200 is very manageable, when I did it last year I was able to get to 300, I actually literally felt like I accomplished something, lel.

Also, almost all the films in that image come highly recommended, especially the one's on the left. Simon of the Desert is probably one of my favorite films of all time. besides Battleship Potemkin, Pierrot le Fou, and Chaplin's Modern Times I also recommend Buñuel's Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoise.

Don't post monstergirls if you're gay. Those are reserved for straight men.

I think I should actually give an update on this situation along with some more background.

We've all actually known each other for almost two years now and the reason we hardly ever have a chance to meet up besides me having to work is because all three of us live in separate places around the country. Which is Finland if that makes any difference.. We are literally separated by hundreds of kilometers for months on end and are hardly able to keep contact because they are busy with studies while I'm stuck at my government mandated job assignment.

This meet-up was significant because I hadn't seen Christie face-to-face in close to half a year and had felt so alienated and depressed under the pressure of work that I hadn't felt like talking to anyone even through shit like Skype or even a phone. That and I didn't feel like bothering her because I figured she would be too busy with her sociology studies to have time to talk with me.

Also despite the fact that we don't really talk that much we're still pretty close friends because of our past shared experiences, for example, and I don't usually share this kind of stuff with strangers during our class trip to St. Petersburg, which was supposed to commemorate the end of the studies for all of us. Before the last day of the trip we figured during a spun of the moment discussion that it would be a fun idea to have a sleepover so we would all sleep in the same bed for the last night. Unfortunately Bestie had prior problems with anxiety and ended chickening out at the last moment before we were supposed to head to bed for the night. That just left me and Christie along with her roommate (who was also a friend of ours at the time but we haven't really heard much from her after our collective studies were over.) as we combined the two beds in the room and snuck underneath the covers.

Oddly enough none of us really felt awkward about it, it was just another fun experience for all of us. Absolutely nothing sexual happened, not even touching or shit like that even though my perverted side really wanted to grab dat ass, she's flat-chested but thicc in all the right places.

To get back to the present day though, after our little meet up I talked with Bestie and he was convinced that I had at least made some progress with Christie because at least she hadn't outright rejected me and that I should build up our relationship from there by hanging out and spending time with her more, maybe even going on dates if she's interested enough.

I do have a chance to do all the shit he suggested because I plan on taking my remaining vacations during the summer so we can go on a trip to Amsterdam together and see the outside world a little bit. If any Dutchfags wanna suggest places to visit please do so. In addition to that trip we have plenty of chances to meet up during summertime, neither of them have to do any study related things and I can at least see both of them during the weekends even if I don't take any more vacations.

Sorry for blogposting but I felt like I needed to give a little bit more info to go on than just that one incident.



I don't know if it really took any balls at all. Saying 'no' didn't even enter into my mind.
I've thought about it, but it's hard for me to believe doing stuff like that will ever turn out worth while and no just lead to more disappointment and wasted time.

I'd say being encountered in the park was a pretty big change for me, along with a few other things. Looking back on it, all of it seems kinda poetic. I like to imagine what my life would look like as a story, and I think what has happened so far would make a decent 1st act, but only if it leads to something to make it worth it, which I hope to get to eventually.
I know I'll do everything I can.

lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 months a few weeks ago. i don't regret it but i feel slightly tainted in a way, despite the fact that our love is pure and whole. i was a virgin for so long i basically learned to cling to my virginity. i wish i could make this dirty feeling go away.
he's a communist as well. he borrowed some writing by engels i had on my bookshelf.

Idk fam, sounds kind of spooked to me. If it was good and you're happy, then there's no reason to feel bad about it. I don't know if you were raised religious, or if maybe it's just a byproduct of inexperience, but over time you'll probably feel more normal about it.

yeah it's actually extremely spooked. i was raised in an extremely religious (christian) household, and i have a disorder that affects me in a terrible way, i have bad thoughts i can't make go away. so the obsessions with "purity" stem from childhood and i never was able to quite shake them, even though i'm not religious.
thanks for the comforting words user

This sounds pretty hard, sorry user. I was raised Catholic myself, so I get the weird residual shame, especially if your family is still reinforcing it. I will say that over time, and with more distance you'll feel more comfortable in letting go of that stuff and just being yourself, I don't think there's ever a point where it's completely gone, but there's definitely a point where you just don't think about it and it almost never comes up. Also, I'm sure you already know this, but there's literally never any reason to feel any kind of shame or guilt about something like your body or what you do with it, and obviously you know this, but the idea of putting aside you're own happiness and pleasure because of other people's ideas of "purity" or "morality" will always lead to unhappiness and unfulfillment. Anyway, you sound like you've got a good grip, hang in there comrade.

This is cowardly. You are forcing her into a position where she has to take the initiative.

I'm not depressed about my life, but I am slightly bored and anxious, that's about it.

I have a steady government job with decent pay, I like doing it, the people there are nice and some are even casual friends. So I'm already doing better than a lot of people - dare I say the 99% - when it comes to social alienation and material deprivation. I also have a stable of friends I keep in contact with from high school and uni. And I keep in touch with my family, with whom I am on a friendly basis. Never been in a fight with any of them for years. I don't think I know anyone I've had a fight with honestly.

The only thing I'm anxious about is losing too many social relations as I grow very old, but that's in the future. Also, wasting my free time in stead of learning an art, making a work of art. I'd love to write a book, but I'm lazy, and tired after work.

Things used to be more difficult before, but since my father drank himself to death, life has been good. No gf, but I'm not sure I could stand the intimacy anyway, so I don't mind. Masturbation is enough to sate my sex drive.

elaborate user elaborate


That was kinda my goal for a while. I didn't work out.

By all means, please do. Anything that makes me hate capitalism even more is welcome. I want my anger to grow strong enough to power the trains carrying porkies to the gulags, the red star in front of the locomotive the swift herald of a better world.

In regards to HNK, I have no hard proof obviously, but suppression is the only conclusion I can reach. I mean, here we have a substance that works like a miracle for 75-80% of people with treatment-resistant depression, it's cheap and relatively easy to manufacture, seems to have no side effects (tho it might be responsible for ketamine's bladder damage), requires minuscule doses, has no psychotropic effects and isn't addictive. Yet, to the best of my knowledge, not a single damn lab in the world manufactures it, or is even testing it, which is patently absurd. The only 2 reasons I can see are 1) it can't be patented because it's a metabolite, so Porky no likey, and 2) a cheap, effective, potent anti-depressant would all but kill the ~15b antidepressant drug market, to say nothing of ancillary markets like therapy, which would make Porky shit his guts out in horror. It all sounds like crackpot ranting, but it's the only conclusion I can reach. Am I paranoiac, or retarded, or onto something here?

And apropos of nothing but might as well ask. Say I have a fully explained synthesis. Do you kow if I would have to hire a chemical engineer in order to budget the necessary lab?

Oh I know that feel all too well. It's probably one that every depressive person has.

Personally, my way of coping with it is not to treat it like a task, or a duty, or a commitment, or whatever. Treat it as a ritual. It's something you do for the sake of doing it, and don't ask questions. "Oh but it's raining today." Doesn't matter, do it. "I'm really feeling down today" You'll feel down many days of your life, it's irrelevant. Do it. Got what I mean? It's something that's part of your daily life, like feeding the dogs or throwing the trash out. Sure you could do neither of these things either, but the results would suck shit, wouldn't they? So there, not acting to try to find a community suck shit as well.

Sorry I have nothing worthwhile to offer to your tale, but I just had to do this pic.

Sounds like my life in Greece, but ok. You're not alone in this struggle.

My suggestion is.. be cool about it, don't hope too much and just try to have a good time.

I mean… she knows your intentions, sooo..

Also, the distance is a factor when considering a relationship.

The fantasy/thought of a revolution happening and seeing every rich exploiter and warmonger humiliated and remoulded to communist society keeps me going sometimes.


Well, biggest reason "potential" cures get covered up (a better term is buried) is because diseases are viewed as markets in the pharma world. Kinda obvious. But what people don't realize is pharma companies are SUPER secretive. Quite the opposite of academic research, which is where the vast majority of scientific research takes place. But the idea with academics is to share information, increase human knowledge, which pharma then capitalizes on (quite literally) in order to find new drug targets, or new technologies to treat diseases with.

In regard to pharma secrecy, muke does a good job highlighting this, about how you can have multiple companies all doing the same thing, hitting the same challenges, but not sharing anything because of "muh patents" and "muh profits". But this becomes particularly ethically challegning when companies open divisions to research rare diseases. They may actually stumble upon a cure, a potential disease target, therapy, whatever, yet they bury it because they decide not enough people have the disease to profit from, or perhaps they don't want to risk pursuing a potential treatment (since R&D costs a lot). This is from first hand accounts, actual therapy completely shut down in the pursuit of profit.

But most unethical to me is all of that info, completely buried. Maybe some other company would decide to pursue it had it been published, but pharma can't have that because they are competitors. And this isn't even getting into more explicit conspiracies that they don't cure disease because treatment is more profitable. I can't comment on that, I wouldn't doubt it but IDK. And then factor in too that these companies have a ton of sway over the FDA, and there are A LOT more cases of fudged data and fudged clinical trials than the media reports. Happens a lot actually and studies have shown the FDA covers that shit up.

A massive reason I am a leftist is because I am genuinely convinced that cooperatively as a society we could actually cure diseases we are having trouble with currently, but I don't want to bore you guys with personal details. Overall though the capitalist systems severely hamper, even poison medicine.

Fuck it I'm a bit riled up so I'll add a little bit more. Also sorry about reddit spacing I just find it easier to read when I'm typing.

Now this isn't overtly capitalism per say, but relates to private ownership. Another issue with science currently is what gains interest in pharma is the question, is it profitable? My specific research focus is the disease ALS (Motor Neurone Disease for the bong among us). No cure for the disease at the time, actually, we have nothing really in regard to treatment other than bare essential shit.

At this current time, diet seems to be a huge factor in the disease. All kinds of dietary related things, such as plasma triglycerides, LDL cholesterol, obesity, fuck even type II diabetes are known to be protective against ALS. Yet I haven't seen jack shit in regard to pharma interest in these areas, and I personally conjecture its because you can't profit off diet. Furthermore it hurts academic research because grant funding in this regard is low. People want a drug, yet in lieu of a drug, it makes sense to create interventions that help lessen the disease. But objectively this kind of research could never be privatized because nobody can profit from it. Such raw information can only help people, but it can't be profited off of.

You see what I am getting at? Privatization of drugs, science, and medicine is hurting us in ways. I mean these are just crude, some what annectdotal examples, I can write a fucking book on this shit

Honestly sounds like you should just stick around and hang out more tbh
If you can make her happy when you hangout and not act like a cunt this'll probably end well

I don't think I'm capable of having normal relationships anymore, I no longer trust any one around me IRL, I actually go to school, I stay distant from classmates and their parties, I have some hobbies like airguns and tank models and there are no women in there, also I'm not from burger land.

i'm a medical advocate and i've a similar intuition: the free market is great for certain industries but terrible for others. medicine in particular should be completely socialized, simply because it works better that way.

none of what you said surprised me a bit btw and i've long suspected it myself. besides the "patients as cash cows" paradigm, another reason there's not the push to cure chronic illness must be that having a health condition makes you poor, and poor ppl can't cough up the $$$.

the shocking thing is how offended certain people on health forums get when you point this out. maybe it's cognitive dissonance: they voted republican all their lives and they need to rationalize being greedy bastards.

thanks for the great read.

name one?

interpals.net/ set up a profile in there. it's main goal is to find a pen pal or learn a new language, but there's people for everything.
it's far better than tinder and facebook. i'm very shy, introvert and socially awkward, i met my gf in there also shy, introvert and socially awkward

industries that work best when operate as small businesses ie tradesmen or yoga studios. the profit motive is useful in certain scenarios, corrupting in others.

It feels weird browsing through interpals. It's so ephemeral, you get one chance to see someone's profile and decide to contact them. Whether you meet your best friend or soulmate is based solely upon a momentary impulse.

i just want to die and get it over with. every minute of every day i'm afraid of something, someone, some situation i might be put in. i don't want to go back to prison, but i also dont want to get my ged, i dont want to go to college and suck cock for years to get a degree so i can keep sucking cock again and again to try to keep my position at the bottom. i jsut want to be destroyed in totality, no one remembers who i was and no one cares


i haven't had good luck with interpals, the most interesting person i met was an australian who wanted to cyber with me it was dumb

i'm sending off an application for EE school in a few hours, does anyone want to tell me it's a meme?

EE (electronic engineering) is a good choice.

But don't forget that school will only make you a specialized engineer on electronics. It is up to you to sign up for extra classes to supplement your education if you can handle it.

Engineering is a great choice since in capitalism, this is one of the things that cannot be automated and you are guaranteed to have a job, and a well paid one. Every company that produces something with electronics inside needs electronics engineers. This is one of the things that cannot be outsourced or otherwise bullshitted.

But it is important to not forget where you come from, from the working class.


18-25 year olds
Use this time to work on yourself both mentally and physically. the personality you have now is not the personality you may need in 5 years for a healthy loving relationship. Have fun and always remember ups and downs are a part of the overall experience. Also smoke weed everyday.

i wonder what constitutes a "good choice". i just want to be employed honestly; sometimes i wonder if it wouldn't have been smarter to take an arts degree and be done with it already but i hear those don't pay you back.

my social skills suck anyway, i probably need to be in a technical job.

were it not for the laws of this land i would have slaughtered you

fuck me I'm doing EE right now, first year of uni
have my last two exams on tues/wed
most likely going to fail, and I'll have to resit them, and if I fail those get kicked out of uni.

this shit is hard

would you like to qualify that.

You mean, what's hard?
On a scale of what I think is 'hard' to 'not hard'..
- analogue electronics and physics (complex frequency/impedance, circuit laws etc.)
- digital circuits (digital logic, finite state machines, boolean algebra)
- mathematics (calculus, vectors and matrices etc.)
- digital systems (CPU architecture, opcodes, datapath)
- programming (this was a project where we had to make a game in C using Allegro)
- engineering design (make a product and write up about it)

So tell me, what should I do? Thinking about learning a trade but I don't know at all. Fucking hell.

you might want to have a go at programming (if you yon't know already); if you're interested, read on.

Setting up a portfolio/site, and asking local businesses (if there are any) if they would like a website made or whatever
get some experience doing that and contributing to open source projects, making shit in a variety of languages and putting them up on a github
either do some certifications or look at what companies may want for things like sysadmin or entry level programmer roles

really you want to build up experience in anything related, even if it seems tangential

I know absolutely zero about programming but it seems interesting. The most awful part is that I'm turning 24 years old and have done fucking nothing.

it's a valuable asset, but you have to put the time in and it requires patience
I'm still in uni, hope things look up for you

Finish your degree and in the meantime learn programming.

Good luck on your exams.

always seemed like a ton of work to me; you're almost better off just getting the CS degree.

i knew a guy who just studied and got certificates i'm not sure how viable that route is anymore. seems the tests are $$$ money makers for whoever administers them.

i wouldn't be too hard on yourself, i was basically in a coma from hs until i was 26 or so, i feel like a loser a lot but not everything is your fault (and even if it is the best you can do now is just try to move forward with things).

i'm doing a trade apprentice rn and it's okay but requires more mechanical ability than you'd think. if you're having mental issues resolve those first before moving on because it'll just get in the way of everything.

What is the general consensus on The Spectacle? Is Doug of Zerobooks right when he says we don't necessarily need to wake up, but instead dream of something else? and what is it exactly? Is entertainment meaningless?

i guess i was wondering how it was hard.
is it worse than anything on here: ni.com/white-paper/3037/en

we did some stuff like this in electrician school and it seemed fairly intuitive but they tell me it's a higher degree of difficulty for EEs.

Thanks, guys. I hope everything turns out well for you too.

Got any good "beginners guide" to programming or something like that?

i did codecademy for a while, it was kind of dumb but kind of not; depends how you feel about "gamification" of teaching.

that's about it for the analogue electronics module, but there's some more physics in it too

Here's some links I found:

Beware that many people give up because they find it's hard, but usually they're stressing out and trying things above their level, trying to run before they can walk. /r/learnprogramming and StackOverflow are really helpful.
If you want a language recommendation though, Python is a good starting point, and it's widely used to teach programming and used in the real world too, especially for web applications and scientific computing.


Feel with me


You can't live a life of fear m8, if you do, you're not living at all, and facing your fears is going to be a lot easier than living as a ghost. If don't know what you want to do, then you should do what you need to do. Don't think there's no future you want just because you don't want the future you're told to have.

Also wondering what Egoists and Nihilists think about it.

join the working class, stop with the technocrat bullshit, and plus, if you drop out of college trying to be an engineer you could be saddled with a stupid amount of debt

yes but i'm a miserable electrician, and i'm too smart to go back to dishwashing.

Morning lads. I managed to mostly keep away suicidal thoughts over the long weekend by going to a festival and drinking all day. Now back to slaving away at work for no reason. haha help

How to make friends? I would really love to make a friend but I have forgotten how to do it.

The best thing would be to have a few alienated and maladjusted guys as friends. I wouldn't care if they are misguided politically to hold opinions going against their material interests. Because just talking about things we actually have in common and doing things together like sport or exercise would also be a great way to spend time.

Now as I finished university and continue with phd studies, I am no longer burdened with school as much anymore.
And having an old beat up car gives one an opportunity to be a chauffeur, when we get the group to go to party at the various university campuses in the city. Or just do anything to actually experience life instead of merely surviving and sitting behind a computer every evening.

It's just that doing things alone only makes it possible to go on as opposed to doing nothing which is wrecking one's mental health more severely.

On r9k, there is a general sentiment by femanons that all guys there should go out more, and actually be outside for longer time than just running errands. To purposely go outside. Because they know that they are not as hopeless sad cases they think they are. And the femanons are perfectly willing to give a chance in communications to everyone who approaches.

Being aware of that, I will also give a chance to everybody who responds positively.

Also I know that I am not ready for a gf, but an occasional date here and there and just enjoying the moments together, that would be sufficient. If I had a gf, I would be too much of a burden on her.

So now I just read articles on doctor nerd love, only to get the general sentiment behind them, which is that nobody is a hopeless case if they work on themselves. The key is to actually want to change.

Sorry for the blogpost, but I wonder if others share similar feelings and opinions on overcoming crippling loneliness, when having issues with mild depression.



I know it might sound idiotic, but have you considered party politics or some other activist cancer? I've been a member of socdems(sorry) and socializing played a surprisingly large role there, after nearly every party meeting we would go to some club to drink and talk about stupid shit. Granted it was a big city, so it wasn't hard to organize such group, but still it was almost nice since I could entertain them with my knowledge of Posadism.

I sorta like it. Rick Roderick had this interesting set of lectures on modernity (the Self under Siege, it's on Youtube), that seems to match up. Basically, through spectacle, the spectacle begins to seem more vivid (and hence real) than real life. Through spectacle, you increasingly begin to live more and more for spectacle.

One point: Debord seems to write from the consciousness of the middle-class. The boring life of the working class in China is not a life of spectacle.

Second point: the book is itself spectacle, a means of writing down what is more spectacular than real life. Spectacle is not merely capitalist.

I'm sad….. Working minimum wage part time and my bf broke up with me last month… He wasn't the best bf anyway but at least it was somebody who cared about me.

What the fuck is the point in this existence? I want to go on a killing spree but I'm too sheltered for things like that.

I'm so lonely and bored with everything… Is this all life is?

I know it hurts, but things can and will get better, so long as you learn how to love yourself. Now's the time to discard those painful memories, rediscover your hobbies, and learn how to love yourself.

bumping just in case

t. Zizek, The Ongoing Soft Revolution, 2004

you can be anything you want to be if you so desire it, comrade.

be true to your authentic, inner-self.

Motivational shit like that seem undialectical and bourgeois.

i don't see how, user

I used to have a group of friends in another board, most of them were tripfags, and some retarded Holla Forumstier faggots and so on and it was kinda good, having some one to talk to, but I don't know, it's weird for me, I don't like when I reveal too many details about my personal life.
It was good while it lasted, but at the end of the day I blew shit up and ended up being hated in part for revealing my leftie power level.
Well now that you finished university, the anxiety winds down, I hope you have a little more time to go out, being outside really helps, you could end up going crazy if you spend too much time indoors.
Having a bf is too much of a hassle in my opinion, in your current state of mental health, I think it's a good idea to stay away from a gf.
Not even in a thousand years, the atmosphere of that board, is far too fucking toxic, also its infested with lonely kiss less Holla Forumsyps.
Don't feel bad, sometimes I kinda miss having friends and talking about stuff, leftypol is very focused in shitposting and leftists topics witch is good, there is /leftyb/ if you really want to talk about something.
But I think that at the end of the day, it's better to spend time alone and avoiding contact, because you develop individual independence and you become resistant.

Life always sucks ass, it's either you are lonely, or you are poor as fuck, being robbed of your surplus value, politicians and the state robbing you, the police and military being there only to protect private property and if you step out of the line, you just end up being one more number of the statistics.
Are you a girl?

It's the same sort of 'disregard your circumstances and just believe in yourself!' claptrap that is so popular with the self help/bootstrap porkyshill

You can't change your circumstances without being motivated to do so.
It's not about just changing yourself and that BS, it's about getting you to have faith in yourself allowing you to change the environment you live in.
Because we can't change it for you.



man you guys are fucking gay

No one wishes to go on.

tfw no gf (im a girl btw)

I do. I think the main reason I haven't offed myself yet is pure spite. If I do it the bourgeoisie are one dead socialist safer.

Wrap yourself in the void & commit your mind to the deepest, darkest sea. Attain heaven through violence. No one truly wishes to go on.

Nigga get that nihilistic shit outta my face.

Shit man I'm just in a poetic mood, to me the void is not nihilism, it's humanity. One can spin thread & weave anything with endless darkness to work with, ya dig?

I suppose that kind of makes sense.


They're easy to find, learn to move around the city do various aplications just don't be socially retarded be brief & to the point. Most interviewers are people too they just want their jobs to be quick & easy.

seriously fuck capitalism but everyone needs to work to sustain & entertain themselves.

You fucked up here but you have to live with this. You shouldn't have done uni not today, it's all about working after highschool as soon as possible to open up your options of what to do in life with all the money saved rn.

fuck a prostitute or a random slut on tinder don't worry. Sex really isn't everything but for sure it feels good, helps getting through tough times. Having a fuccgirl from time to time is good for that doesn't has to be super beautiful as long as she satisfies your peepee.

Can't help you a lot with that. You shoulda have taken advantage of school/college to make them. If you get a job the work enviroment is a good place to make friends too, working frineds > non working friends simply because they're hard working individuals striving towards something.

don't know what that shit is tbh.

Sorry my fellow Spainfag, have you tried tinder and okcupid?

fuck both of those tbh but tinder is at least ok to get a one time fuccgirl then move on to keep working & saving for your own goals.

Nah, online dating intimidates me and it seems soulless and cruel

damn. no offense but learn how not to be socially retarded then.

interaction is a big deal in human life, the less fucks you give the easier it is too. I have always been popular all my life.

call me "normie" idc but well I'm trying to help, human relations usually require that.

tfw ur a dumb gay tranny
tfw ur gf left u for a cis girl

Idk how.
I just want to be left alone to work quietly in a forest or something

i would be your gf (male) but you'd just leave me for a cis girl or prettier tranner

I'm going crazy
I feel like I'm the only person who cares sometimes
and I don't even care that much to begin with
and there's nothing I can do anyway but struggle futilely and watch everything die

being brutally honest looks do carry you lol.

I consider good looks = good luck in life. The biggest reason I have always been popular is personality, I make people laugh, I have good interesting conversations with them but for sure good looks is the second biggest reason.

Get good fashion sense, etc. If you're ugly well you're ugly but you can get good at any of the other areas I have seen neckbeards with cute gfs (seriously) but that dude is the drummer of an underground metal band, he has his attractive traits but he is 100% a young neckbeard.

pls let me love u

I mean it can be but you can't expect love to find you if you dont look for it

damn good answer. shy people always have a harder time in life & it really is because they don't do anything.

The same is true for friendships, having friends requires the individual to look for good friends.

I don't expect it to. Just more worried about how I'm socially perceived more than anything
It's partly why I'm scared of getting a job.

Man, this is a feel. I don't even want kids, but this is a sad reminder of how socially inept I am.

Shyness is a problem for me, too.
Although, a bigger problem is that I am just flat out disinterested in most everyone that I meet. This isn't limited to women I want to date, but friendships too. Very few people have I ever wanted to go out of my way to pursue relationships/friendships with. Maybe I have some kind of narcissistic disorder while also hating myself.

Give less fucks about the social pressure, most people are more on your level than you think, they're not extraordinary either. You can overcome your social confidence issues by socializing there is really no other way to get good.

tfw i never want to see that face in RL

damn dude, if i were you i'd wait it out for 4-8 years to see if another prez comes in an does a mass pardon/amnesty or something, OR maybe try to learn the language of the home country and go to school there? or get married to a legal american and get citizenship that way


I'm in CS but that actually looks similar to what we do minus the first thing. We don't do circuit analysis or w/e, but all of this:
sounds a lot like my life now. Luckily I just finished all my hardware classes, now i can just do software shit

BTW join leftypol tech collective cybernetics gang bros

Sorry to inform you, but that actually makes you a double virgin. And also a turbo fagot.

How do I control my fucked up fetishes? My libido want me to do stuff with them IRL(or at least on something like skype), but I'm paranoid it's would backfire if I ever became sightly more active in politics

i know that you'll call me a fool but i cant vent anywhere else & this is the only board i sorta respect any more:
i live in the south, in "hostile violent redneck central" as a friend calls it. i had 250 bumper stickers printed up by wholesale, they say "CUCK & PROUD". i put them on every right-wing car i can get away with. of course they can just be peeled off so it's merely a minor annoyance, i'm just looking to make them feel shameful & foolish for a few minutes, i consider it to be "not a crime" b/c hey it's just a fucking sticker, these are the nice kind that dont even leave a residue. but to my surprise i had a plainclothes cop or maybe private detective (they think they're stealthy but they're obvious) follow me on my rounds today, so i had to buy a coffee drink & pretend i was just walking, then ditch him with some alleys & low walls. i checked my stock today and i have already placed 96 sticker, which may be why i'm attracting attention.
of course i am going to keep walking around every day but i guess i'll have to stop with the stickers for a while. also my VPN is suddenly having "on-again-off-again" trouble letting me access 8ch. paranoid paranoid paranoid.
paranoid. sorry if my english isn't great.

You're going to get fucking murdered.

Make sure to stick one on the cops car.

You're doing god's work user.

you need to watch some gang stalking vids to learn how they harass you man

Stop feeling guilty about something that isn't inherently wrong.

It's a bourgeois game.

I know it's kind of "self help" tier but on halfchan the other day there was a guy on /an/ who wanted to kill himself because his dog died. I could understand that since when my dog had to be put down I was a wreck.

I told him that instead of ending his life to make something else's better. I guess that can be expanded to humans as well instead of shelter dogs. Why be selfish and take your own life when you can do something for others?

Are you still labouring under the illusion that the second is possible as long as the former exists? A lot of us are not even allowed to sustain themselves through the work they could do.

Depends on what exactly your fetish is and what your political flavour happens to be. As long as you don't want to diddle kids or are into obscure stuff that weirds people out, lefties won't care.

Funny but also watch your back. Just because it's legal doesn't mean people won't murder you.


I'm not okay about the thing itself, my problem is with the reaction of people if they found out, I would conider sudoku if people found out.

It's too embarrassing to even get names on an anonymous imageboard, at least for me.

Come take a walk on the wild side. Don't post anything without a name, and learn to live with the shame of having your mistakes and dumb opinions have a name attached to them.

One of those questionable fetishes nears watersports and partially even scat, so your "learn to live" isn't convincing here

Hmmm, we do bully even simple abdl-ers on this board pretty viciously, maybe you should remain undercover after all…
the reality is that unless you go looking in a fetishist community, you will mostly only ever engage in fairly vanilla sex IRL, stoic acceptance is maybe a better route than living dangerously

Now back to my original question
I've done it before when I was in my late teens and I knew it could pass since I looked differently. Now I think it would not work out that well especially if I got into it completely.
So far I figured out I could do this safely if I found explicit leftists who are into fun fetishes in general, but shit's nigh impossible since people on dating sites do not immidiately state their political opinions unless you get to know them.

There is a difference between mere desire and actually doing it. Could it be in your case that you are more enticed with the idea of doing that than with the doing itself?

Also fetishes are not innate, they are learned. Hell even sex itself has to be learned. It is not automatic, even masturbation is learned or discovered and subsequently learned up on that discovery.

If you think your fetish is some fucked up stuff involving faeces then I recommend doing a part time job in a waste water treatment plant, or on a farm.

Or if you want to see the other person, if you have a girlfriend, maybe you could convince her to poop in front of you on a toilet. I imagine it would not be exactly sexy.

My libido wants me to touch my dick while viewing pictures of women on the computer screen. Because that is what I have been doing so far.

For crying out loud, the most arousing thing I have seen and heard have been JOI videos where the woman calls me a pathetic loser, and english is not my first language. A real woman would want a man who is able to stand up for himself, not a pathetic loser. So I better learn to respect myself.

The point is what crazy ideas your brain comes up with when you feel horny are just stupid ideas.

There is a difference between being in your head and being in the moment with another person. And fetishes are mostly aberrations that you connect with sexual pleasure. Just a wrong connection in your mind map. The difference above is difference between a scenario planned in your mind and a spontaneous exploration between two people engaging in sex in various forms.

ABDL were left alone until they started injecting it into every thread like a new day MLP and became as well regarded as pedos. I fucking hate them tbh, autistic little fucknuggets.

But I've already tried most things that interest me, sadly it was good, so I'm not turned off by them.
In general it has been half a year since then and I'm feeling the urges rising again, so I already know I will give up if things continue that way, but I want to stay away from the rabbit hole

i'm nearly 30 years old and i've done nothing with my life because i've been sick with chronic fatigue. it was so bad that when i tell people they don't even believe me. i was once friends with other patients but now that i'm moving on with things it's hard to keep them in my life; likewise people in the "real world" find me strange.

i'd like to reconnect with society but i feel that my experiences are too alienating and i'm too lowstatus for most of the adult world anyway. once you hit your late 20s it's generally expected that you have made something of yourself, that you are who you are going to be, whether or not that is personally realistic.


Hope you get better user, be sure to keep in contact with the people you are losing touch with, they'll be going through the same things you are. When I was in my teens I was hanging out with people who were seen as the dregs of society, and in my early twenties I was hanging out with people struggling like yourself. Don't beat yourself up over it, the youth get it and won't judge you. Now I'm in my mid twenties and have nothing to my name. You're not alone.

I keep alienating myself because of my political views. I'm too politically incorrect for modern Marxists and Anarchists, I'm too anticapitalist for liberals. I like Marxism and Marxist philosophy but my god the people they have preaching it.

I honestly wasn't transphobic until I started interacting with Trans-Marxists on the leftbook. Now I'm so pissed off at the gender spectrum that I'm disillusioned with politics.

Stay safe, but also you should take a picture of each sticker placed so you can make a huge compilation to buttfluster pol

that's the problem user, my friends never get better. i'm the "lucky" one with the miraculous recovery.

i'm in a strange position of having really fucked up my life while having had no real hand in it. most people bear some modicum of responsibility for their mistakes. i didn't make too many.

don't really feel that i'm struggling tbh, just that i'm different from the rest. a lot of life is how you perceive it. i don't get too wrapped up in things.

same situation here. i'm saving money so i can do one of those 3 year charity things in africa or latin america. good luck user.

Suck it up faggot, I lost contact with one of my best mates and when he was completely alone shortly before killing himself with a plastic bag and a belt he asked a mutual friend "Where the fuck is user? He's supposed to be my friend and he ditched me." I found out he said this around three years later, which was at the same time I found out he died. Don't be that guy.

i'm not That Guy my sick friends don't wanna talk to me anymore :((

they don't call me, not the other way around

As grim as it seems, you've got the better deal here.

i'd agree with you, but my healthy friends think i'm weird as fuck

Don't worry fam, we're your friends.

y-you don't know what this means to me…

You are my friend and I would take a beanbag to the head for you, if it helps. I'm the guy in a balaclava picking you up when you think your life is over.

thanks user. i'm not quite that dramatic tho, just a bit at loose ends.

i suppose i could begin taking my yoga practice more seriously.

getting a gf is way too hard

I'm thinking of joining the YPG once I become a nurse and learn Arabic, Kurdish, or both. I have no faith that any of the hospitals in my hometown are going to stay open if the American Health Care acted actually goes through. On one hand I actually want to help the people who have been fucked by neoliberalism but also want to be on the ground at the only real noncapitalist flame and try, even if fruitlessly to save it from Islamism and liberal subversion.

Any thoughts men?

Isn't that a tad ambitious? The conflict will be over by then.

I doubt it'll be over in 4 years, and even if Daesh is crushed in 4 years that other Al Qaeda affiliates or Assad will be willing to let a direct democracy be bordering them, let cede territory to them.

If I'm not mistaken Russia is supporting federalism between Rojava and Syria so Assad doesn't get much of a choice.

That doesn't mean he won't start screaming like a frog, plus there's the problem of Turkey. Besides all that Rojava probably needs doctors and nurses both in civilian and military roles so I think I'll be fine.


My mental issues are really acting up lately. I'm supposed to go with my friends on a trip but I don't think I can do it. What the fuck do I do?

Really freaking out since I'm pretty sure they wont be glad at all or understanding. I don't want to tell them I'm about to have a breakdown either since that'll just be worse.

Oh man, sorry it took me so long to answer, got a lot going on now, both real life projects and reading, reading, reading.

This is the exact sort of thing I hope to one day see completely catalogued and documented: all the hidden human cost of capitalism. not just Zizek's "objective violence", but all that suffering and death by omission and inaction. All that bullshit that a cappie will just shrug off as "shucks, it's just part of life, it's not capitalism's fault."

I ask you to please write everything about this subject down, so one day you might have something invaluable to share with activist groups or publishers, or maybe publish your own book. Regardless, make sure this doesn't get forgotten, there might be some information only would would be privvy too and think of noting it down. The future has to know capitalism's every smallest sin.

I think many of us think like this sometimes, and I can say with some certainty that it's just sulking. You're not broken. And I understand you staying away from parties, every once in a while I tried going to one hoping that "this will finally be the time I fit in". But no, it never works. Everything about a party just runs counter to how I think a meeting place should be, and I ended up more depressed after leaving the party than I was the day before.
Oh man, sorry it took me so long to answer, got a lot going on now, both real life projects and reading, reading, reading.

This is the exact sort of thing I hope to one day see completely catalogued and documented: all the hidden human cost of capitalism. not just Zizek's "objective violence", but all that suffering and death by omission and inaction. All that bullshit that a cappie will just shrug off as "shucks, it's just part of life, it's not capitalism's fault."

I ask you to please write everything about this subject down, so one day you might have something invaluable to share with activist groups or publishers, or maybe publish your own book. Regardless, make sure this doesn't get forgotten, there might be some information only would would be privvy too and think of noting it down. The future has to know capitalism's every smallest sin.

I think many of us think like this sometimes, and I can say with some certainty that it's just sulking. You're not broken. And I understand you staying away from parties, every once in a while I tried going to one hoping that "this will finally be the time I fit in". But no, it never works. Everything about a party just runs counter to how I think a meeting place should be, and I ended up more depressed after leaving the party than I was the day before.

The sad fact is, we live in an extroverts' world, and all meeting events of society at large are aimed solely at them. I really, really wish there were events catering to us (I recall one guy on cuck/soc/ who would reply to lonely introverts' to have a drink and help them "get started" because he was in that shitty place once and wanted to help others in the same situation), but we have to rely on indirect things, like the hobbies and meetups I mentioned. Yeah airguns and tank models are exactly women magnets. Ever considered anything related to dancing? Or aerobics, I dunno. I confess I'm not very aware of what women use Meetups for because I'm not a Burger either. So search for Facebook groups from your area, these days everyone and everything has a FB page.

user, you just described every interaction between two strangers ever.

I know it's a cliche, but it's true: you don't want to die. You want to live a fulfilling life. But you don't see how to do it, how to reach that goal. Perhaps you have a worthwhile goal but see absolutely no route towards, but if you're really unlucky, you don't have a goal at all. All you see is living for the sake of living, and you can't stand it. And I'm the exact same way. We can't strive towards a goal and we can't live day to day; clearly a contradiction, which takes us to the conclusion that supposedly there's no reason to live, which causes depression.

As far as I can see, there's only two ways to "cure" yourself from this existential contradiction: either you find a realistic and fulfilling goal (which is really fucking hard for a modern leftist), or you learn to live for the sake of living, which is where I think there's a better chance. The depression this causes is usually fought with the usual route: meds, therapy and such. But there are alternatives, some of which are based on pure luck (if you stumble on the love of your life tomorrow, day-to-day life would suddenly become a great prospect, wouldn't it?), and others which you can pursue. Some people find solace in religion, for example. Some find in a number of other activities. You ever seen a guy who can really be called a surfer? I really envy them. They seem to derive genuine spiritual fulfillment from such a simple act.

And yet another route is, heterodox antidepressant methods. I've mentioned before about HNK, which isn't in the market because CAPITALISM!, but there's still the possibility of taking certain illicit drugs with strong anti-depressant action. The most well-known is ketamine, which is proven academically to work. Others with anecdotal evidence are O-PCE and ephenidine, both of which are still legal highs in most of the world.

But the one I recommend you try first is LSD microdosing. It's by far the safest and cheapest heterodox med.

I have some copypasta with more information on all this stuff. Just ask if you want it.

So do us, user. But change requires action. Mao had a saying about it: "Everything reactionary is the same: if you don't hit it, it won't fall. Where the broom doesn't reach, the dust will not vanish on its own". We all hope for something to enter our lives from nowhere and suddenly makes it worth living, like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl or something. But alas, we have to get out there and look for that something.

If I were you, I'd try to get that degree before trying to go from job to job, because it'll make it all the much easier, even if you'll be underemployed. If you're depressed, I mentioned some thing about it a few paragraphs above.

That's an underesimation.

I hate to spew a cliche, but this is the sort of question only you can answer, isn't it? From a distant enough point of view, absolutely everything in the universe, let alone here on Earth, is meaningless, so you should concentrate on what means something to you.

Not that guy but user, one of my humble dreams is to make a dignified living on a prole job, and with the USSR gone, that's out the window. The closest thing would be being a prole in a Scandinavian country or somesuch. I personally am making backup plans to move to Ireland if I fuck things up too much here.

Please see above for possible heterodox antidepressants.

I wish I knew user. I can't seem to make nor keep friends outside of a common environment, like class or work.

And you have no idea how to approach anyone, let alone an eligible qt, right? You hate it when strangers interrupt you and try to make small talk, and you can't bring yourself to do that to anyone else, let alone a qt, right? Well, the thing is I don't know either. Sorry. See my posts way up in the thread about Meetups.com and political organizations and whatnot for some help, but as to approaching someone one-on-one, it's beyond my ken.

The name makes it sound cancer to me.

I'd say there's a bit of a trick to it: ritualization. You keep on doing something just because. You start thinking "why am I bothering wit–", nuh uh, shut up and go back to the task at hand. I know it doesn't seem like much, but treating liftin like a ritual is what kept me going despite having zero motivation.

I appreciate you're trying to help, but I'm afraid that you can't se things from our PoV. I mean
is like the old "just stop being sad then".

Cares about what? Struggle how?

We know that feel, user. Complete strangers have this weird collective power over us, and we can't ignore it because we have no self-steem. So other people's steem of us is everything. Yet you can't actually talk to them because you don't know how, and if you did, you'd be exposing yourself to judgment and rejection. So you settle for looking normal for everyone around you, while no one knows the mess you are, right?

I know that feeling of ineptitude too. Do you also dream of what life would have been like if you had a talent or a calling or something like that? A path carved out for you, which you don't have to take but it's always available.

Keeping in mind I'm vanilla as fuck, he thing with fetishes is that ultimately, they're ways we come up with to avoid intimacy with people. So fucked-up and/or too many fetishes are most likely symptoms of interpersonal relationship troubles.

This is also an important distinction that I find weird no to be a common notion. The few fetishes I have, I have no desire to enact in real life altho some of them I would if the circumstances were right, so I don't even know if they should be considered fetishes.

iktf etc.

Try us.

What's leftbook and what's so bad about its trannies?

Jesus fuck, user. I'm genuinely sorry for that.

Have you tried using a download accelerator?

You know, I've been told that any Haitian you about this will say that they prefer one healthcare professional or engineer from Cuba than a thousand UN troops.

Assad has been slow as fuck to beat rebels, Turkey keeps fagging things up, and now the Qatar debacle is turning the entire Middle East into WW1 Europe, with Iran, Saudi Arabia, Turkey etc. all creating alliances. I wouldn't be surprised if we see a massive bloc war.

What issues? If it's depression, see the rest of my replies here.

As far as my personal experience goes, something that breaks the routine such as a trip are perfect to take your mind off its default shit state. Unless it's something about the trip itself that's freaking you out? If not, I'd say go.

Let's be real here. If you have mental issues, your judgment about their reaction might be unreliable. Are you really sure they would take it badly? Are they shallow to the point of ignoring a friend in need, one close enough to invite to a trip? Odds are that you're catastrophizing. We sadbrains do it a lot. You're probably doing it in order to avoid opening yourself up to them, which I admit, it's a prospect I find terrifying too. Themore you love somoene the harder it is to open up to them, right? I'm afraid that's a hurdle you'll just have to power through. Assumig you even need to, in case the trip doesn't keep your mind at rest.

how do i get good at chatting to girls

Experience tbh, it's not like you'll be any different position if she says no, just keep trying.

Just talk to them like people. You don't need any fancy fuckin tricks or nothin

Can any psychoanalysis bros tell me why I often seem to drink coffee compulsively, to well beyond beyond the point of physical discomfort? Is it because I associate the mental and physical sensations of stress which it mimics with "responsibility," success, and so on?

It's probably just physical dependence.

I don't think so. I only really get withdrawal headaches which go away if I have, like, one cup and then step down to nothing, and I drink a lot more than I'd need to prevent those.

I had a similar thing with compulsive redosing of various drugs, back when I was into those, but it always felt like I was following some sort of obligation rather than "chasing the high" for its own sake

I knew somebody that use to do identical shit, but used "Gay Pride" stickers instead.

I don't have first hand experience, but I thought that, once withdrawal ses in, even small amounts are enough to stave it off.

But then again, if you had the same problem with other drugs, it might be indicative of an addictive personality.

Yes, that's true. I think you might be misunderstanding my responses

Story time with one of the most fucked up people on the internet.


Things have been going pretty shitty for me recently. Around February I was introduced to this girl by my friend. I thought she was kind of cute and we started talking on Instagram and shit. I knew she had a boyfriend but she always spoke really ill of him and said that'd she'd been with other people before and he hadn't cared. (hindsight is 20/20 but in retrospect this was just straight manipulation to get me into bed with her) anyways we met up and she was super clingy, went back to mine and she asked if I had condoms, after previously saying she didn't want to fuck on the first day. I said no because she told me not to get any and she was super pissed. We did head and hand stuff and then she sent home. We met up again like a week later and this time went to her friends house, we fucked for like 10 seconds before her friend got back and I had to go. Her boyfriend found out what was going on and apparently he didn't know about it already like she told me and definitely wasn't fine with it. He was super heartbroken and I felt terrible and also really manipulated. I blocked her on everything and refused to talk to her again. She still owes me £25 I lent her for a gig we were going to. Cont?

What do you live on? That sucks man, I'm sorry.

Sounds shit lad. You never had a chance to be honest. I'm always surprised at the high levels of reactionary neets on stuff like /r9k/. You think more would be drawn to far left stuff.
This is a feel I have never felt but I can imagine it's shit. I'm pretty lucky that my dad is at least pretty left wing.

Jeez man, that's horrible.

Maybe try with girls you have something in common with? Something you both like can help break the ice and make you feel less awkward.

Then again maybe don't take advice from me as I've never even kissed anyone before so yeah

So where are we going with this?
I know /r9k/. These fucks refuse to fix their situation. In a morbid kind of way they revel in it, and not only that, they attempt to drag others into their level of misery, this is where they get their joy outta these things and this is why I fucking hate them.

Are you the same in that regard?

The Rijksmuseum is one of my favorite Musea, it's def. the most beautifully built Museum here. If you like modern art better, maybe try the Stedelijk Museum.

One tip would be that you should consider visiting Utrecht as well as Amsterdam. Amsterdam is actually not a favorite of mine since it's drowning in tourists; Utrecht is a *bit* more authentic. Not a lot of locations there, but the town center itself is really cool. It's like a big village- and the main road near the Train Station you actually have to watch out more for cyclists than cars. (We have special roads for bicycles next to our normal roads, and in Utrecht's town center only these special roads are usually somewhat challenging to cross.

I'm feeling sad again. I was talking to a cuteboy and we were getting on really well and gonna meet, I thought, but since Friday he hasn't appeared online in anything. And it's not just that he blocked me because he appears offline since then even from a different account (yes I checked). Maybe he made new accounts or something but I don't know. It just made me feel really sad. I'm lonely…

Cheer up, maybe he died.

Thanks for replying to everyone, user. It's nice that you make sure everyone is listened it.

Man, that sucks. Maybe you should join the YPG, since honestly it doesn't seem like you have much to lose and it'd be a way to escape this life while doing something good and worthwhile.

Maybe you should apologize to the guy and explain it to him. It might not mean much to him, but it probably would to you. But ya, continue.

Nah, we try to offer solidarity and advice, whereas /r9k/ wants to play misery olympics while shitting on everyone they can.

Did anyone else see this shit?
Judging by the way a lot of anons talk on this thread, me and another user couldn't have been the only ones to get fucked up reading about that shit >>1773043

As I've begun to get these feelings again, and to have them really sink in, it just feels like although I think the Leftist cause is worth standing up for, I also have nothing to really stand for at all; like I don't belong in this world. I'm just here

fuckin hell

Monogamy is a spook, and honestly a pretty hard one to be completely possessed by for most people. A lot of cheating might have nothing to do with the people involved, and which isn't necessarily a reflection of a bad relationship between two people, but of the type of relationship they try to force between them.
That's why we're all in this thread m8, we all feel like that. It's called being a victim of alienation. Just try to imagine a better world, one where you feel like you belong, one where you can do meaningful things for others, and where you're surrounded by people you love and who accept you, and that this is the world you're fighting to create.


At least you have good dreams. I very rarely have them and when I do it's shit
Then I had to go and wage slave for 8 hours. Joy.

I hardly ever remember whatever dreams I have (assuming that I have them) when I wake up, unless I'm sleeping on something uncomfortable, for some reason. Maybe said uncomfortable things wake me up after the dream instead of letting me keep sleeping so I'd forget about it.

Obligatory "REEEEEEEEEEEE" and so on
I see that, but I laid out that I'm a hopeless romantic and I don't think that'll ever change, even if it makes me miserable and keep me single for my whole life because I'd much rather not waste someone's time if my insecurity gets the best of me even though the reality says otherwise. Irrational feelings are a hell of thing, especially when they're entertained by very real phenomena
What did they mean by this? I honestly don't think I follow, other than I think the last part insinuating that cheating might be more common because of the standard of monogamous fidelity placed on people a la something similar to the Streisand Effect
But here's the thing: I try to do exactly that and, as I said, I would stand up for the Leftist cause should that faithful day ever come as I genuinely believe it has the potential to greatly improve everyone's lives. I know it might be pathetic by making a big deal out of ">tfw no gf" when you boil it down but, although I would be willing to fight for the Leftist cause to improve other people's lives, there just doesn't seem to be anything for me on the other side. No hope. Nothing

Having memorable dreams is usually caused by having deep sleep, which is more likely if you're sleeping in a cool, dark, quiet room.

You don't need to abandon romance to abandon monogamy. You just need to think about what aspects of romance you're actually attached to and why, and whether those things are actually meaningful and not just something you think is meaningful from a lifetime of mass media.
I meant that cheating might not be reflective of the relationship being shitty or one person no longer liking the other, but monogamy not working for one of the persons which they might interpret is the relationship being shit.
Nah, it's not m8, we all have those feels. Loneliness is an extremely powerful emotion, it has to be, because if you're a hunter-gatherer and you're alone for long periods, it means you're probably going to die. It might be one of the most powerful besides the urge to live and fuck.
iktf. But that's when you have to ignore your feels (a product of alienation and likely depression) and just believe in a rational sort of hope that there has to be something for you in that world, and if that's not good enough, just blind faith.

This thread deserves to life a bit longer.

me once again, i managed to hit two more trumpcars with a dozen eggs & a sticker each. i had to beg for cash to afford the eggs but i walked by the very next day to find TWO local cops parked next to the two cars, yet all vehicles were oddly empty…
i'm lying low for a while. stay safe, anons.

Risking getting arrested or your ass beat for liberal antics is fucking stupid. If you want to be an edgy vandal, go do it to a better target than fucking trumptards.

So here is the deal.
I hate this new place that I'm living in it's far away from the city and there is only rich old people and spoiled rich young people and I fucking hate it.
Second: I'm having lots of trouble with my mom and her husband about remodeling this new place.
Third: my brothers and I have a not existing relationship and I'm starting to hate them.
Fourth: I'm too depressed to do anything and I'm just losing my energy and I don't even want to get up from bed.
Should I abandon my home and throw myself into an uncertain future? Or I should stick around and see if I can handle this for a little longer.

Pd: I only have two real life friends and none of them have a place for me so I can stay with them.

Why can't I be smart?

who /no job/ here

It's my birthday today and I feel so weird. Ten years ago I thought I'd have mostly had it made with a career in creating cartoons or helping to make cartoons, I've lost any passion I had for it because I was too socially inept and indoctrinated into a cult to find people to collaborate with and I've lost any and all passion associated with it.

I got out of the cult six years ago and slowly the expectations I've had for myself and my career get eroded. I wanted to be some kind of writer, then I wanted to be a journalist but then figured out I can't beat out competition despite having As in the classes I took for them.

I started to think I should go into trades and just work hard and see what happens or if I get happier but I'm having difficulties with the qualifying studies, my home life is not so great and it's taken its toll on my schooling.

Really wish that I had that same spark I had when I was younger.

Isolation probably isn't helping anything either.

I've been without work for three years, it doesn't matter that my old bosses allegedly have nothing but good things to say about how I was working while I was with them because the more time goes by the more undesirable I look as a potential employee. Even shit retail apparently wants nothing to do with me.

Turns out he was just busy or something so he said, but then he's just started ignoring me again so what the hell. I'm sick of this bs. If I did something to upset him or he's just not into me now at least tell me. 'Ghosting' is such shit. And fuck I know that if he messages me again I'd just forgive him because I'm lonely and I thought we were getting on really well. Reeeee why do we suffer so.

Canadian culture is just consumerist culture painted like the national flag, like every other "culture" under Capitalism.

Honestly fuck him. Seriously, I know no one likes to hear stuff like this when they have a crush, but you deserve someone who's as into you as you are into them. And ghosting is 100% the shitiest things someone can do to someone else, it's insanely disrespectful and cowardly.

i guess leftists really are low-test limpwristed fageronis that can't get laid. lol


But isn't the whole point of Holla Forums and the alt-right to create a safe space for men who feel like the reason they can't get laid is specifically because they live in a matriarchal society that cuckolds white men at every corner? Isn't that the literal central tenant of all meninism? Isn't the alt-right all about solidarity among kissless virgins who become racist specifically because they're kissless virgins? It feels like you're being a little hypocritical. Also, you need to go back. >>>Holla Forums

what could ever give you that idea, user?

if you're ugly you have no chance with good looking people unless you have something that seriously makes up for your lack of good looking features. Fame, humor, intelligence, etc.

Stopped taking my medications because I didn't feel like calling to ask for a refill.

I don't even think I'm ugly though and I was attractive enough to phonefuck with, but oh well.

All that can be learned. Socializing is a skill that can be trained. You didn't practice it enough in your youth & you're dealing with that right now.

it's not "stop being sad". The more you do something the less shit you will become at it (usually). Just go make friends ffs, it's not even a joke you need it. In the work environment, in the school environment. Those are the best places usually.
Shy people always struggle, I really don't know what to do if you're "too shy" if you don't have the will to overcome your shyness. Nothing can help really.

Yeah that's probably genuine depression.
Find a doctor or some shit, get therapy, get high, exercise, get to know people, whatever. Just make sure your condition will not worsen and that you'll get better.