Pretentious hipster crap games

What’s the Mother of all prententious crap games that hipster jerk off too?

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mother 3

Fun meta game, nice music, not much else

It's now "hip" to like morrowind.
The first two were infinitely better

That fucking platformwer with time rewind.

If you mean which was the earliest, probably Braid.

Its only "hip" on Holla Forums.
topkek

I heard braid ending was a last minute thing

God Hand.

inb4 really awful bait

Deus Ex.

It's not pretentious to punch shit, is it?

How I Learned to Stop Making Sense and Shoehorn in the Bomb

The epitome of something being the same but different for the sake of just being different

Even if it is, Braid has:

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Yep, and it was great, you philistine.

THE WITNESS IS THE MOST PRETENTIOUS GAME OF ALL TIME

This. It was an okay game that the geek is chic crowd latched on to so they can show how retro they are. Fuck you nintendo fans, you could have stopped it.

The most pretentious ending of all time.
That shitty video aside, the Witness is simply just lazy, not pretentious the way Braid is.

But I played it when I was ten on an SNES.

And you should have warned more people when you saw those types gravitate towards your favorite vidya. Shame on you. Now those types have fucked NoA beyond salvation.

ayyy

Shadow of the Colossus

Fuckoff


One of these two

That was just Japan trying to do America ala Charlie Brown and 1950's B-movies. It's not like they went out of their way to make the quirkiest thing ever.

I'm surprised nobody mentioned Dear Esther yet. Wasn't that the game that started the whole walking simulator fad?

Right on time.
Hot heads out.

I know, it's hip to hate on indies as the cancer that ruined everything, but do some fucking research you retard.

I know that walking sims predated DE, but none of them were as popular. Pretentious shit used to be a much smaller niche prior to its release.

Mother of all pretentious crap games? Depression Quest, Gone Home, Life is Tumblr, anything by Telltale Games.

Braid had legitimately clever gameplay while The Witness is a good example of a game doing zero hand holding, expecting the player to use deduction to solve the puzzles. It's just in the writing of those games that was pretentious.

To find the most pretentious games you need to find something that's really making itself out to be smart despite the fact that the game itself completely lacking and with walking sims you have an entire genre where the game itself is absolutely nothing.

While the ending of Minecraft was pretentious and eternally naval gazing, I tend to agree that just one slip up doesn't make something pretentious. It's things like I mentioned here that I find to be offenders. Western versions of the Visual Novel and their awful storytelling/characters that are all impossible to like, Depression Quest and its constantly changing your choices to "simulate depression," Gone Home where you do nothing more than walk around a creepy silent house for half an hour trying to solve the mystery of where your family went in what could have been a good setting for a horror game .. Only to find out that your parents got pissed off and went away, your sister was a muff diver who ran off with her lesbo lover, and you're an asshole who is about to fail out of college. And of course, Gone Home set the game in 1996, because the authors realized that no one gives that much of a fuck about homosexuality in 2015. Now THAT is pretentious, forcing your game into 1996 to try and hit plot points that don't fucking matter to anyone in the modern day.

Probably that one game where you´re a granny walking over a graveyard and doing nothing else. That´s the first real walking simulator i am aware off. It was released in 2005 or something.

Myst.Was both an influence for actual decent games but also some walking simulators. I'm not even baiting.

I actually found "gameplay" from it. It´s literally called the Graveyard and the only thing you do is walk forward, sit on a bench and then walk backwards again. If this is not peak pretentiousness then i dunno.

Made by the same negress and cuck that gave us the Path and Sunset before chimping out when nobody was buying their trash.

Undertale and Life Is Strange. Firewatch is about faggots rather than watching fires (no, not about watching faggots be on fire, either), but do walking simulators count? If so, Gone Home.

Shadowrun
>still a fun series

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The hipsterism didn't start that long ago. Dear Esther comes to mind as the first walking simulator, albeit with a modicum of work put into it.

Metal gear solid 2 & 4

smh tbh fam

Indeed

How can a baby be butchered, cooked and eaten by a crowd in less than a minute? Hipsters call this shit deep and smart?

Yeah, that's Shadow Heats FTNW.

Sir you can't post here, this is the war room.

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This one certainly has the "aimed at hipsters" thing down, in so far as them being the actual intended audience. Have to wonder how many of them that actually bought it planned to actually play it, instead of just picking it up for the "hipster cred" they'd get just for owning it.

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here's a recent one.
enjoy listening to some pretentious douchebag spout famous quotes and muh 2deep4you lines while waggling your mouse around for a couple hours.

You're funny.

Goonshit is no laughing matter.

I don't know OP, there are so many out there. My vote would go to High Hell, because that's the epitome of a typical indie game. You can also take a look at tigsource.com and pick one.


This is only true for Dragonfall which takes place in the ADL. The dwarf haxxor had a more redpill view on the Shockwave Riders and their anarcho antics.

but user, you are the goon.

Not really. The SA connection has been razed down since the entire Western weeb scene moved to cuckchan back in 2004.

And the best part is that they killed a perfectly fine mechanic to become a forgettable indie game that got major mental masturbatory sessions because "muh nukes" and "muh perspective".

Close second, but actually all of the games made by these guys border self parody.

True, but Braid also has piss easy difficulty, a pretentious narrative and objectives that make you go out of your way to 100% just to be 2deep4u.

Being one would've saved me a whole lot of heartburn. Nice (1) though.

Did you watch all of the videoa and listen to all of the audio tapes?

My wifes son loves that game. And he's right, its good stuff.

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NV has plenty of goon memes.

Dark Souls.
Prove me wrong.

Nope. Shadowrun Returns is also the same. But I have to admit that SR is a lot more subtle and has fewer social commentary than Dragonfall. I'm ok with SR because they established their setting well enough. That their universe is different from ours and it's fiction. It's still there though. Corrupt cops, Mr. Kluwe's story, evil corporations, the rich taking advantage of the poor, etc. I still haven't played S:HK, but I'm guessing it has the same social commentary, more or less with the same intensity.

Spec ops the line is not deep and you are not intelligent for understanding it.

There's plenty one could complain about with Undertale and have a valid point, but it's not pretentious in the slightest. People making it out to be something bigger than it is after it found success isn't the fault of the game.

Downloaded it on a lark from the github repository. It's just a French, indie, walking simulator with interesting archetecture and settings and not much else. Everything is the same blank texture with random mood lighting. I picked a path up some stairs that were about as long or longer than Gwyndolin's corridor. For no reason other than what I assume to build anticipation for what's at the top. It' just a shitty temple in the middle of a desert wasteland. Fair enough. There were some interesting sights along the way until I came across some weird event where music played, the set pieces moved around and a light mote and a dark mote danced around. I quickly learned that you're not actually supposed to interact with it. You're supposed to just sit there in awe over the mysterious spectacle of cycling animations.

Found a gameplay video with the scene I mentioned. It's about 3 minutes in.

hooktube.com/watch?v=QeHO3MCgv2c

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This is the correct post. Hipster faggots jizz loads over games like that.

I think you're the hipster here

Although it's a victim of its own poisonous legacy. The game itself is very self-contained, and doesn't try to be anything more than a fun Saturday morning adventure. Mouth breathing, scarf slinging, thick rimmed faggots around the world proclaim it as some profound experience when they've grossly overestimated the game.

you mean Braid?

What an absolute pathetic piece of fucking shit.

mgs

Nice digits. Could it be because the vast amount of "fans" that like it didn't even play the game but watched let's plays of it instead according to that Twitter poll by the creator?

This faggot was the poster child of indie devs in 2013. The game was shit but it was shilled to high heaven because he was part of the industry's shitty hipster circlejerk.

High Hell is pretty much the opposite of pretentious. It's dumb and doesn't take itself seriously in a bad way.

That was only 2013? Seems a lot longer like 2010 or 2011.

Either way, between 2013 and 2016, things got REALLY fucking awful. Im surprised weve managed to recover as much as we have. Small steps, its going to get better soon

Holy shit that piece of garbage. The protagonist even looks like the Fish faggot

I liked it. I thought I would hated but it was okay. Better than LISA and other shit that seems to be unironically liked by some.

Yet to play it and know little about but keep hearing how its GOTY. Why is it pretentious?

user's (you) are the ones acting pretentious

Chrono Trigger is a masterpiece you faggot kid.

I wonder what the fuck happened to them. Constipation?

I was probably wrong on the date. I'm finding articles suggesting the industry was heaping awards onto him as early as 2008.

People just have some dislike for it because it was being hailed (mostly by reviewers) as "The Citizen Kane of videogames" and ended up just another 3rd person action game. I wouldn't call it pretentious though.

It was innovative then but by now it's basically run into the ground by how much people praise it despite being quite simplistic for today's standards

Most of his "fame" came from being the faggiest guy on that Indie Game Movie crap.

Any game by Jonathan Blow(s). Most notably, Braid.

The whole game was an incoherent mess of purple prose and word salad, which the dev literally fell back on the "2deep4u" concept. There's plenty of shitty pretentious games, like but holy fuck, this cocksucker takes it to the umpth degree.

The second pic Looks like a quake map I've played

Looks like Blood Libel. The Revelation of the Method in Hollywood is no joke.

Found a new one.

Its amazing, not pretentious.

While it's not hipstershit in and of itself, it is true that 99% of hipstershit nonRPGs try to emulate it. Perfect example:

Exactly.

Thomas was alone, I had to quit that game because I was cringing too hard at some narrator talking about shit while you were just simply watching blocks jump on blocks. That game was so fucking pretentious I still cringe when thinking of it. I got it back when I was a retard who bought humble bundels

>>>/oven/

I will never understand how this game has so much fandom
for every good thing it had it also had 2 god awfully anoyances that made it almost unplayable

Journey

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Another game breaking the successful formula for the sake of just being different, instead of elaborating on something that has potential.

MM is good but let's face it. hipsters frolic all over it

majoras mask capitalized on the zelda formula as much as it could. everything since has been worthless. the 3d zelda formula just isn't good.

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OH SHIT
Make a new thread about this, it looks like the next Cuphead.

Children frolic over it (you can thank Game Theory for that), not hipsters. Hipsters frolic over Ocarina of Time. Unless you mean 'hipsters' as in actual hipsters instead of faux gamer-types, in which case that award goes to the Oracles games.

your definition of capitalized is subjective.
They could've simply elaborated on OOT's structure by adding different mechanics. To me, that's elaboration of something that has a solid traditional base
MM was a "Lets transcend that" and that's fine. They added substance to the 3d zelda forumal. but at the same time you can argue you can at that same substance to any genre, or rather not limited to the 3d zelda formula. hence your use of "capitalized" is subjective.
I word I rather see being actually used and happening is expanding. Why not grab MM's substance and simply mesh it with OOT's structure, while expanding the forumal with more mechanics?
The "sake of being different" part of MM was the time mechanic and the day cycles. That was totally fine and it fit the 3d zelda mold. but I think it should stay unique to MM. However OOTs main structure can be re-utilized and create a new story, with the same level of substance for both story and NPCs as MM, while also expanding the main formula as much as possible.
the issue is not the formula but rather their execution of usage with future titles. The games just got even easier than what OOT and MM was (MM was harder than OOT, credit where credit is due). If they applied a no hand-holding, tighter and more demanding gameplay, the 3D zelda formula can easily still be applied for many more games to come. I don't want to be rehashed forever, but I can definitely see room for more and for more polish. I wouldn't mind seeing that.

You're correct. I mean't faux gamers and posers, but yes. Oracles games is where actual hipsters of the actual playerbase fellate to. Along with link's awakening.

Sorry for spelling mistakes. I need sleep.

That vids a shit, you'd barely have time to tear a single strip off the body before she got to the front never-mind pass it all out to the crowd.

Still ain't buying. Returns is pretty much OK with the system as it stands and you actually find out that the Villain is a Insect demon worshipping cult that only wants to summon its Gods. Furthermor, you work together with Lowfyr the owner of fucking Saeder Krupp.
In HK, the real villain behind it all is no richfag either. The social comentary differs from SR scenario to SR scenario. Sometimes its leftyfaggy bullshit like Dragonfall, sometimes its its a Lolbert narrative on how States and corporations suck and keep small business men down.


Do you happen to be a virgin with rage? Why the contrarianism then? Chronotrigger still looks and plays fine, in contrary to FFIV that actually didn't age so good.


Since I have lurked TIG-Source for free vidya and actually read GEE, I can tell you that FEZ has ben awaited since 2008. Fish probably got all those awards for fucking collusion and bribes. The scene needed a programming star like Trenz or Kojima and Fish seems like the type who was willing to suck the right dongs.

They're good games. Only problem is that people completely get it wrong and praise the wrong things. I never saw SOTC as an emotional experience I just saw it as an atmospheric game thats desolate and filled with mystery because of the PS2's limitations with epic battles. Which is what it is

Fez certainly deserves a mention, and every time I see Phil Fish's face I am gripped by the urge to punch it.

Correct

We've got a full site of contrarians who shit on good games, but are too embarassed to share their own favorites. Ask him, he will reply with reddit top 10 un-attackable games of all times, that you will never be shamed by others if you play.

nigger what the fuck are you doing

If dadaism is inserting your name in the title of your work, making your commentary an integral part of it, and teasing a "reward" that must be kept mysterious at all costs like fucking Nu Male's Sky, then yes, I do not like it.

No, that sounds like a bunch of plebbitors trying to fit in. This is why I gave him that virtual knuckle sandwich.

this actually looks pretty cool

You sound like an asshat.

This makes me wanna pirate it just to see if its as bad as people say. Should I?

It will forever stain your soul

ITS HORSY HORSE!!!!

100% this. The most overrated "game" of all time.

Tried to play this and got bored after a while. It's very typical TPS with stealth mechanics.

I'm trying to write a dystopian story in which the government pushes PC and SJW type agendas (a la Demolition Man). Based on the webm of the game (with removing "Sun Tzu" for being upsetting), do you think Sunset would suffice as inspiration for that setting?

Any game where a conversation with a fan might go,
"The plot is very deep!"
"So what does it mean?"
"I don't know!"
Ganes that come to mind: Braid, MGS, E.Y.E.

It's this. and also deus ex jc tenton its a bomb do you have a single fact to back up take the gep gun

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Is she removing it? I thought the "game" was just some negress cleaning their masters house.


You can't just double dip like this with bait.

This is the most pretentious piece of shit I ever played. It's barely a game at all, it's little more than a choose your own adventure that was given graphics to sell to a booming hispter-indie market at the time. Almost none of its fans realize how literally I mean that: it was a choose your own adventure set of webpages called fallen london prior to that conversion and it's almost entirely a copypaste job. The writing has the unique stink about it that only comes from still taking liberal arts courses approaching your 30th. I'm sure I'll be paying the student loan debt of these faggots some day. It's clear from the way it's presented that the writers consider themselves to be latte lovecrafts and are probably legitimately puzzled why they weren't more widely recognized for their amazing contribution to the arts. I'd post a let's play but webm doesn't support plain text.

Im entirely unsure if you understand the meaning of the word "pretense"

Sounds like you're struggling with the realization that you like pretentious hipster indie games, user. Perhaps consider shock therapy.

For sure. I noticed a lot of that, and I think that's where (some of) the problems with it came from and why it got so much more cancerous than other indie games of the same vein. It became the popular thing to be into, so you had all these kids and tumblrites and vapid autists jumping on. Most of them couldn't even be bothered to play the fucking game first, so they watched Let's Plays and talked out their ass about how "deep" it was. It doesn't help that these people were also the ones driving the insane glut of FNAF/Sonic-esque hyper cancer of OCs and edgy fan fictions.
I watched all this happen from the inside because I genuinely loved the game and made the mistake of trying to find a like-minded community. The number of people I'd see making some huge elaborate Sonichu-esque abomination that would then admit to "not having played it yet" was mind-boggling.

now Im pretty sure you dont know what the word "pretense" actually means

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It kinda looks fun though.

It's decent, agreed on the stink part though. It's a slow paced game so don't expect much.