QUICK POST A REVIEW ON THE LAST SHIT YOU PLAYED

STEAMWORLD DIG 2
STRAIGHT UPGRADE OF THE ORIGINAL, REAL SLICK 2D ART DIRECTION, GAMEPLAY IS MOST EASILY SUMMED UP AS A CRAFTLESS STEAMPUNK TERRARIA
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU CAN BE A QT ROBOT GIRL

ROME: TOTAL WAR

IT'S GOOD AS HELL

played wh40k inquisitor martyr. I sensed a soul in search of answers. and purged that heretical soul.

SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI STRANGE JOURNEY WARRIOR IS A PRETTY FUCKING SICK GAME. YOU GET TO BE A MARINE AND SHOOT DEMONS LIKE ZIMZAM SHOOTS NIGGERS. I DARE SAY IT'S MORE OF A DOOM GAME THAN NUDOOM. THAT'S RIGHT GET FUCKED BETHESDRONES, JAPS DID DOOM BETTER THAN (((TODD))) DID
IT'S HARD AS MY COCK WHEN FACED WITH BIG ANIME TITTIES THOUGH, AND I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED THE FIRST SECTOR YET. GOD KNOWS HOW SPLIT IN TWO MY ANUS WILL BE. THAT OR I JUST NEED TO GIT GRINDING
9/10 PRETTY FUCKING good, WOULD SUCK THIS GAME'S FEMININE PENIS IN A NON-GAY WAY. NEUTRAL BEST ALIGNMENT, LAWFAGS AND CHAOSNIGGERS GO HOME

FUCK, FORGOT K!NO IS A FILTERED WORD. MY ALLCAPS IS RUINED. ANYWAY I'M DOING ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE IT'S BUZZWORD
WHAT IS THIS AUTISTIC SHIT? WHY DOES THIS HAVE A GENERAL? IS IT JUST A THINLY VEILED HENTAI SHARING GENERAL? OH NOPE IT'S SERIOUS, PEOPLE FIND THIS SHIT FUN. I KNOW I SOUND LIKE A GOON BUT THIS IS THE MOST DULL MOESHIT I'VE PLAYED. THE REMAKE SYSTEM IS A DECENT IDEA I GUESS BUT IT'S WASTED ON HOW MUCH THIS GAME FUCKING BORES ME, JESUS CRUNCHY CHRIST GIVING HIMSELF A TITTYFUCK WHY DID I PIRATE THIS SHIT AGAIN
ALSO THE LAST TIME I WENT TO THE GENERAL AN user BLOGPOSTED ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN, I SHIT YOU NOT. SO I GUESS THIS ATTRACTS THE TUMBLR CROWD. KIND OF OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT BECAUSE OF THE YURIBAIT AND THE "LE ETHICS IN JOURNALISM XDDDDDDDD" AUTISM IN REBIRTH 2 OR 3, I FORGOT WHAT BUT I REMEMBER SEEING IT AND LAUGHING BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS RIGHT ABOUT THIS SORT OF SHIT, GET FUCKED
OH YEAH THERE'S A GAME TO REVIEW. 10/10 IT'S FUCKING SHIT, THAT'S NOT A TYPO I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET LYNCHED BY A BUNCH OF AUTISTS

ONE MORE AND I'M DONE
HOLY SHIT THIS GAME KICKS DICK. THE BATTLE SYSTEM IS A NEAT MIX OF PRE-CC AND CC TALES GAMES, THE CAST IS LIKABLE FROM MILLA WHO'S PRIME ARA MATERIAL, ALVIN WHO'S BRO-TIER AS FUCK, I'M 99% SURE HE'S A TRAITOR THOUGH, FUG :DDDDDDDDDD AND JUDE WHO'S A MED SCHOOL STUDENT BUT STILL PUNCHES THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF BADDIES. GOTTA BE HONEST, I HAVEN'T PLAYED THIS FOR A WHILE AND I NEED TO GET BACK TO IT. I LOVE HOW QUICKLY FAST TRAVEL WAS UNLOCKED BY THE WAY. I HATE BACKTRACKING, SUE ME FAGGOT
9/10, PRETTY SURE THIS WILL BECOME AN UNIRONIC 10/10 AT THIS RATE, GOTTA GET BACK TO THIS GAME HOLY PENIS

DOOM 2

IT'S PRETTY GOOD, I LIKE RUNNING FAST AND EXPLORING THE LEVELS. MY FAVORITE WEAPON IS THE SHOTGUN BECAUSE OF THE NOISE
SOME OF THE DEMONS ARE KINDA HOT THOUGH I FEEL BAD FOR KILLING THEM.
MY FAVORITE DEMON IS THE SKELETON ONE THAT SHOOTS FIRE AND CRIES LIKE A GIRL,
YOU HAVE GOOD TASTE OP

overall I rate it A-/10 because I got carsick after a while

gee, user, who would have thought

anything I could say has already been said by other anons here

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B-but the games are fun… Though the yurifags that play the game can be literal nazis, so I can't exactly argue against that. The games aren't even really yuri outside of the spinoffs.

Terra Nova: Strike Force Centauri

A mix of Mechwarrior 2 and System Shock (by the same devs too!). Super challenging and requires strategical thinking to get things done. Has some pretty neat graphics and a kickass soundtrack.
Super underrated. 8/10.

Nothing because I am not a child anymore.

Lords of the Fallen. I had a to convince myself that everyone saying it was a crappy DaS clone was wrong. I failed to do so because of the shitty unresponsive controls.

DESCENT

IT HAS GREAT GAMEPLAY BUT THE GAME SEEMS TO ACTIVELY TRY TO BE AS LESS FUN AS POSSIBLE

DIABLO IS PRETTY GOOD BUT DIABLO II IS BETTER

WRONG

DARKWOOD IS SCARY AND IT HAS NO JUMP-SCARES. IT IS SLAVIC THUS CAN BE HARD. ALSO THE DEVS ARE COOL SO YOU CAN PIRATE IT WITHOUT ANY BITCHING FROM THEM.

DRAGON QUEST HEROES 2

I QUIT AFTER THE TUTORIAL, WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT. MUSOU ARE SHIT

Levels are pretty good and less monotone than in the original, laser cannon is pure sex, roboscorpion best enemy.

I PLAYED MORHAU

I HAD FUN BUT I AM ABSOLUTE SHIT AT IT

>still very fun
Wish more games would test your puzzle solving skills like it does. The puzzles with the bees was a bit too much of a headteacher.

Hollow Knight
Game of the year

X3 WITH LITCUBES OVERHAUL MOD
IT'S PRETTY COMFY BUT ALSO TENSE IN MOMENTS YOU WANT IT TO BE

SPOILER ALVIN IS MERELY PRETENDING TO BE A TRIPLE AGENT & WAS SECRETLY A BRO ALL ALONG xD!

I REALLY ENJOYED METROID SAMUS RETURNS ON NORMAL AND SPENT WAY TOO LONG 100%ING IT BECAUSE I STOPPED TO ENJOY THE SCENERY ALL THE TIME, BUT THEN WENT BACK FOR HARD MODE AND FOUND IT WAS JUST THE SAME GAME BUT WITH BULLSHIT ENEMY DAMAGE THAT PUNISHES MINOR EXPLORATION MISTAKES BUT LEAVES THE BOSS BATTLES BASICALLY UNAFFECTED, SO I GAVE UP BECAUSE I WASN'T HAVING FUN ANYMORE

IT WAS FUNNIER THAN IT WAS HOTTER, JUST A DEMO TOO.
URU A MADMAN. DON'T TRUST BIG GIRLS.

So, Ocelot?

A solid 8/10.

Sorta but not as convoluted more along the lines of the bad guys he double crosses you for are not really the bad guys and the scope of the conflict really takes a huge twist similar to the Multiverse trope you are familiar with in other Tales of Games. So in the end he is still a bro, but he does double cross you. If that makes any sense

6/10 I saw cartoon tiddies

IT'S PANDEMONIUM IN THE RING !
THE BASTARD SON OF WWF ROYAL RUMBLE, MK3 AND STREET FIGHTER 2, BULLSHIT COMBO INPUTS THAT SOMEHOW WORK JUST FINE, THE RUN FUNCTION'S INPUT KINDA MESSES WITH THE FLOW OF THE CONTROLS, THE ROSTER LACKS MAJOR TOP GUYS LIKE OWEN, BULLDOG, DIESEL, 1-2-3 KID AND MACHO MAN, DESPITE BEING IN DEVELOPMENT FOR 2 BLOODY YEARS
STILL MANAGES TO BE MORE FUN THAN ANY 2K RASSLIN' GAME AFTER SMACKDOWN VS RAW GOT RENAMED, VINNIE MAC'S AND LAWLER'S IN-GAME COMMENTARY IS PURE GOLD, AND THE INTROS FOR RAW, SUPERSTARS AND WRESTLING CHALLENGE WORK GREAT AS

YOU'LL HAVE TO GET CREDIT TO BRET "HITMAN" HART AND DAN "TOASTY" FORDEN

Age of Wonders 3

Fantasy TBS. Post-patch & DLC it's much less shitty than it was on launch but it still leaves a lot to be desired compared to the previous games. At least the balance is decent.

Empire Earth
RTS spanning all of human history all the way to the future. Far worse than I remember. First of all, it really doesn't play nice with modern computers. Then, age advancement takes so many resources that it slows the game down too much. The AI seems to shamelessly cheat but doesn't exactly pose offensive problems for most of the time. Unit variety is just rock/paper/scissors with a few gimmick units thrown in, and the game in general feels oddly balanced or not playtested enough. I suppose the selling point was fifteen ages, massive maps + pop caps and generally super epic long games, but that doesn't appeal to me now that I'm older and have higher standards. Ultimately worse than Rise of Nations which itself is worse than Age of Empires 2 at this.

Fantastic. Iterates on it's own design with nice things like living, mobile cover. Active reload is thrilling in success or failure and using it between rounds on bolt action rifle makes me feel like Barry Pepper in Saving Private Ryan.

Also, as someone who only partially played 1 and 2 upon initial release, this bundle of Gears 4 and each previous GoW title is a hell of a value.

Bloodborne. Playing it has convinced me that anything positive ever said about the game is pure bullshit. What a shitpile.

DOOM IS FUCKING BRUTAL

TAC RELOAD

HOLLOW KNIGHT
ITS A MASTERPIECE REMINISCENT OF THE GOLDEN AGE OF GAMING AND METROIDVANIAS
PLAY IT IMMEDIATELY YOU FUCKS

SPLATOON 2

ITS MORE SPLATOON THAN THE FIRST ONE BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT FEELS MORE LIKE AN EXPANSION PACK RATHER THAN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SEQUEL, WHICH IS GOOD AND BAD IN A SENSE. THEY FINALLY INCORPORATED SINGLE PLAYER GIMMICKS INTO THE MULTIPLAYER MAPS LIKE THE SPONGES AND INKRAILS WHICH I FELT WERE MISSING FROM THE FIRST GAME. THE SPECIALS ACTUALLY FEEL LESS POWERFUL THAN THE ONES IN THE FIRST GAME BUT CAN STILL BE USED EFFECTIVELY. THE CLOTHING SELECTION SEEMS A BIT WORSE HOWEVER, LESS FRESH IF ANYTHING, AND I WISH SOME OF MY FAVORITE GEAR WOULD COME BACK. SALMON RUN IS A SALT GENERATOR. ITS AN OKAY GAME BUT I FEEL LIKE NINTENDO JUST WANTED TO HAVE A SPLATOON GAME TO LAST THE ENTIRE LIFETIME OF THE CONSOLE RATHER THAN LESS THAN TWO YEARS LIKE SPLATOON ON THE WII U.

SILENT STORM
ITS FUCKING CASH MONEY WHEN YOU CAN LEVEL BUILDINGS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE ASSED TO DEAL WITH A DICK IN A REALLY GOOD SPOT FOR A MG. GOD DAMN I LOVE IT

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SHENMUE

BECAUSE VIRTUA FIGHTER RPG

ALSO SAILORS YOU FAGGOTS

HOLY 4D CHESS

I AIN'T READING THAT SHIT NIGGA, ALL I NEED TO KNOW IS THAT ALVIN IS A REAL HUMAN BEAN. SERIOUSLY THIS SORT OF THING FILLS ME WITH WAY MORE DREAD THAN SHOULD BE ACCEPTABLE, AM I AUTISTIC?
OKAY ENOUGH BLOGPOSTING TIME FOR A REVIEW. AKIBA'S TRIP UNDEAD AND UNDRESSED CAN BEST BE DESCRIBED AS A CLUNKIER, MORE WEAPON-BASED YAKUZA. THE WHOLE GIMMICK OF THE GAME IS STRIPPING DOWN YOUR OPPONENT TO EMBARRASS THEM INTO RUNNING AWAY OR LITERALLY KILLING THEM FROM THE SUNLIGHT. ALSO THIS GAME IS TO AKIHABARA AS TWEWY IS TO SHIBUYA, WHICH IS PRETTY SICK. YOU EVEN GET FLYERS FOR REAL STORES BUT I DON'T SPEAK MOONRUNES SO THEY'RE WASTED ON ME.
I LOOKED UP WHETHER THE CHRISTMAS CAKE WAS A CHOICE FOR ROMANCE AND YOU CAN. INSTANT LIKE A BILLION/10. ALSO CAKE MANIAC IS ONE OF THE TITLES YOU CAN GET, EVEN THOUGH IT MEANS ACTUAL CAKE, IT FITS ME QUITE WELL. LIKE A BILLION PLUS ONE/10

Define "human"

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE READY FOR THIS SHIT? BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT! FUCK YOU!
IT'S A GREAT ASS METROIDVANIA WITH WEIGHTY PLATFORMING. WHEN YOU TAKE A JUMP, YOU ARE FUCKING COMMITTED TO IT, UNLESS YOU TAKE A LITTLE PUSSY JUMP THAN YOU CAN SORTA CONTROL YOUR FALL, AND YOU BETTER HOPE THERE ARE NO ENEMIES IN YOUR PATH BECAUSE THEY WILL KNOCK YOU 20 SCREENS BACK. DO YOU LIKE LORE? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE THE LORE IS THE ANSWER TO MOST EVERY PUZZLE IN THE GAME, ON TOP OF BEING FUCKING COOL. DO YOU LIKE CLEAVING THINGS WITH AN AXE? GOOD, THE WHIP IS FOR PUSSIES ANYWAYS. ARE YOU READY TO KILL A PLETHORA OF GODS WITH NOTHING BUT YOUR AXE? NO, A REAL MAN DOESN'T USE SHURIKENS, FUCK OFF!
SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF LA-MULANA, FIND YOUR DAD, FUCK BATS, 8/10

SFV IT'S PRETTY SHIT BUT AT LEAST IT'S BETTER THAN MVCI

Gundam Breaker 3, combat is repetitive with hardly any boss fight, inventory management cant be very autistic. Customization is very deep and allowed a lot of option. It just barbie game for gundam nerd to create their own OC. Buy it if you a fan of gundam because of the customization alone, dont buy it if you expect good gameplay

TAC RELOAD
TAC RELOAD
TAC RELOAD
TAC RELOAD

It's not easy.

I PLAYED IT
IT'S INDEED 9/10 PRETTY OKAY I SUPPOSE

EH. IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

STRIFE! YOU MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE DOOM BUT ALSO LIKE STORY? STRIFE IS THE DOOM CLONE FOR YOU! A HUGE WORLD THAT IS WHOLLY CONNECTED IN NUMEROUS WAYS, CHARACTERS THAT WILL MAKE YOU CARE ABOUT THE STORY, A STORY THAT ISNT HALF BAD! NEGATIVES ARE MUSIC IS ONLY OKAY SOMETIMES, MAZE LIKE AREAS THAT MIGHT MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR SHIT, AND THE WEAPONS ARE ONLY ALRIGHT THEY GET THE JOB DONE!

YOU WANNA KNOW THE STORY? A METEOR HITS EARTH AND SPREADS A PLAGUE TURNING PEOPLE INTO MUTANTS, A CULT RISES UP AND TAKES CONTROL, YOU'RE SOME SCHMUCK WHO WAKES UP IN PRISON AND YOU HAVE TO GET OUT! YOU THEN GET RECRUITED TO JOIN THE RESISTANCE TO TAKE OUT THE EVIL CULT!
It's pretty rad.

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RAINBOW SIX SIEGE
ELA STILL OP
LESION IS STILL OKAY
NOBODY PLAYS YING
HITREG IS STILL A MESS
UBISOFT STILL SUCKS DICK

I'm surprised how fast ying fell out of use

Because nobody knows how to play her, she's supposed to be a rushing operator kinda with her candela but everyone just uses her for her LMG.

I wouldn't know anyway, I haven't touched her since the season started, same with the defenders lel
been using Jackal a lot recently tho, forgot how accurate his C7E is holy shit

Me too. I played lesion for about a week, but then just had fun playing kapkan and valkyrie instead. Ela always got picked by jaeger mains too fast for me to care, and ying is supposed to be a rusher, but everything in this update punishes rushers to hell and back.

I'm honestly surprised how much this season made me play operators I never used to play as tbh. Been playing a lot more Smoke and Bandit recently which I haven't played in at least a year or so yet it still pisses me off how useless Ela mains are when they could just go someone useful like Rook or Doc.

they have no excuse to be useless too,, if you aren't landing at least 3 kills with that mad polack bitch you must be off in some bumblefuck corner of the map