NEW ORDER

They don't make platformers anymore chef!

HEY, DICKFACE

COME HERE YOU

==SO I JUST FUCKING CALLED OUT THE ORDER, YEAH?=

AND I SAID WHAT?

TWO GOOD 3D PLATFORMERS, ONE YURI VISUAL NOVEL, THREE GRAND STRATEGY GAMES, AND ONE STEALTH TITLE

SO WHY HAVE YOU GIVEN ME A FUCKING FPS, YOU FUCKING DICK

WE COOK THE FPS'S TO ORDER YOU DONUT

EVEN EA COOKS THEIR FPS'S TO ORDER

SHOW ME SOME FUCKING COMPOSURE AND GET ME THE FUCKING DISHES

DICKFACE

Beautifully cooked, service!

WHA-

user

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

I'VE SEEN CATHETERS LESS SHITTY THAN THIS YOU FUCKING DONKEY

GET ME A FUCKING PLATFORMER NOW

FUCK ME

HEY, WHY HAVE WE GONE AND COOKED THE RPG'S YOU FUCKING TWAT

WE COOK THE RPG'S TO ORDER

WHAT PART OF 'TO ORDER' DIDN'T FLY THROUGH YOUR FUCKING DONKEY EARS

Do i need to preorder it first?

You fucked up.

...

YOU'RE A FIRST CLASS CUNT, YOU KNOW THAT

WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME RPG'S YOU FUCKING IDIOT

GET BACK TO YOUR STATION AND GET ME MY FUCKING YURI NOVEL

NOW

READY CHEF

Chef, are you okay? I think your fucking taste buds are on their way out the door

ORDERS UP CHEF

HEY

HEY LOOK

THIS IS THE LEVEL WE'RE AT RIGHT NOW

HE GIVES ME SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

SONIC THE FUCKING HEDGE-

HEY, DO ME A BIG FAVOR, YOU

FUCK OFF

YOU GOT IT CHEF

Grand strategy is ready, chef!

SORRY HERE THEY ARE CHEF NEW PLATFORMERS RIGHT OFF THE OVEN

YOU WANT TO ARGUE, DO YOU

YOU GIVE ME FALLOUT 4

FALLOUT FUCKING 4

THE ONLY THING THAT'S GOING TO BE FALLING OUT IF YOU SERVE THAT SHIT TO THE CUSTOMERS ARE THEIR FUCKING BOWELS

THEN LOOK

LOOK

SKYRIM

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID

IT'S NOT EVEN FRESH YOU FUCKING DONUT

YOU PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE AND THEN ON A FUCKING PLATE

TAKE YOUR SHIT, THROW IT IN THE BIN, AND GET ME MY FUCKING ENTREES

GOT YOUR STRATEGY GAME RIGHT HERE CHEF!

A yuri visual novel, coming right up!

HERE'S THAT VN CHEF

But chef, /u/ isn't in today and nobody else can cook yuri!

SEE?

SHUT THE FUCK UP NIGGER YOU DIDN'T EVEN COOK ANYTHING

Sir, a man came in wanting Ace Combat Rising:Revengance. What should I give him?

Got your Yuri visual novel chef.

BLAND, UNDER COOKED RUBBISH

SHIT!

user, TAKE YOUR FUCKING SHIT AND PISS MASTERPIECE AND FUCK OFF

GET OUT

SERIOUSLY

YOU THINK THAT IS A FUCKING GRAND STRATEGY GAME?

YOU'VE CERTAINLY GOT A GRAND STRATEGY ALRIGHT IF YOU'RE GOING TO SERVE THAT

YOUR GRAND STRATEGY IF GETTING KICKED THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

OH FUCK OFF ANONYMOUS

RISE OF THE LYRIC?

MORE LIKE RISE OF THE RUBBISH

FUCK OFF AND PLAY IT THEN

PLAY THE SHIT YOU'RE TRYING TO SERVE THE FUCKING CUSTOMERS, GO ON

HAVE FUN, TWAT

user, YOU AMAZE ME

YOU AMAZE ME BY HOW UTTERLY SHIT YOU ARE

SO YOU MAKE THROW IN SOME EDGY TEENAGERS THERE, SOME DYKE SHIT THERE, AND THROW ON SOME FORCED DRAMA THERE

AND YOU SAY 'LOOK CHEF! A VISUAL NOVEL!

YOU'RE A FUCKING JOKE

GET ME MY FUCKING YURI VISUAL NOVEL, YOU DONKEY

Sorry chef, I think I misunderstood.
This is yuri, right?

HERE CHEF, HAVE A REAL STEALTH GAME

Here's your grand strategy game chef!

Here you go chef, I cooked up this masterpeice just for you! Please be gentle!

got the Yuri right here chef!
extra lily extract!

Got the Grand Strategy right here Chef!

WE CAN'T COOK ANY FUCKING YURI?

SO WHAT'S THIS THEN, YOU FUCKING COW

WHAT SHOULD YOU GIVE HIM?

GIVE HIM A FUCKING STRAIGHT JACKET

FUCK OFF WILL YOU

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING

SINCE YOU CAN'T BE FUCKED TO BE COMPETENT FOR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE

SEE THAT THERE

ALL THOSE FUCKING STIFF, NON-INTERACTIVE BITS

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

IT MEANS IT'S OVERCOOKED YOU DONKEY

IT'S OVER FUCKING COOKED

IT'S STIFFER THAN THE BACK OF YOUR FUCKING COCK

GET ME SOMETHING THE CUSTOMERS CAN ACTUALLY PLAY, user

(YOU) AND (YOU)

GET OUT

FUCK OFF

HEY

ONE MORE THING

FUCK OFF

GET OUT

PATHETIC

EMBARRASSING

Check the date, mongoloid.

I don't care what you ordered. I'm cooking masterpieces here, not running a fast food. You're going to take what I cook and you suck my cock for it. Is that clear?

CHEF I FINALLY FIXED THOSE PLATFORMERS FOR YOU!

I did
Hes still a literal nigger from cuckchan

Nah.

Has anyone ever punched Ramsey?
I just saw that video and he got pretty close.

…

…let's start at 17.

5, 6, 7…

Service, please!

NEW ORDER

TWO APPETIZERS: ONE GOOD INDIE GAME, ONE EA GAME

TWO ENTREES: BEST FREE TO PLAY TITLE, HOLD THE PAY TO WIN, ONE RTS

GIVE ME YOUR BEST, YOU FUCKING HALF-WITS

HEY

NO SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

NO PRINCESS BARBIE MAGICAL ADVENTURE

NO FUTA FAGGOT FESTIVAL V

JUST GET ME THE FUCKING DISHES

CHEF THOSE ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO COOK, YOU'RE MAD!

EA GAME UP CHEF

Dota 2

Got the indie game, EA game, and the free to play title chef!

IMPOSSIBLE TO COOK?

THE ONLY THING THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE HERE IS YOU COOKING SOMETHING FUCKING GOOD

SHUT YOUR FUCKING TRAP AND COOK YOUR FUCKING DISH, DONKEY

HEY

DO THAT, OR FUCK BACK OFF TO THE SHED

Beautiful, service!

What do you mean, I cooked one earlier!
Lemme make another one!

Free game right here sir!

Meant , fuck me.

i love these threads

RTS UP CHEF

Can I speak to the manager? I've been waiting for my order for ages

Here you go my man.

Buttoms up, dude.

I like you, user.

Service!

YOU CAN SPEAK TO THE FUCKING LAMP POST OUTSIDE

AT LEAST IT HAS A BRIGHT IDEA, YOU TWAT

Service!

COME ON YOU SLOW FUCKING DONKEYS

WHERE ARE THE GAMES YOU FUCKS

THE CUSTOMERS ARE BORED OUT OF THEIR DICKS

...

heres your good indie game

One indie game Chef!

NOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO FUCKING SEE

WE'RE ACTUALLY STEPPING INTO 'DECENT' TERRITORY, YEAH?

KEEP IT LIKE THIS AND WE MIGHT ACTUALLY STILL HAVE A GOOD SERVICE, LET ME TELL YOU

NEW ORDER

FOUR ENTREES: TWO BEARABLE MOVIE GAMES, ONE HILARIOUSLY BAD GAME, AND ONE STRONG RPG TITLE

LET'S FUCKING MOVE IT

Sampler of KF2 for you chef!

...

I only got 1 movie game. It's the only good one.

This restaurant deserves to fail.

Ghostbusters

CHEF, TWO MOVIE GAMES CHEF

RPG UP CHEF

IT WOULD BE FUCKING FUNNY IF IT WEREN'T SO FUCKING DEGENERATE

THERE'S A FINE LINE user, BETWEEN HILARIOUSLY BAD AND DEPRESSINGLY SHIT

FINALLY SOME FUCKING TALENT

YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY TO EARNING YOUR BLACK JACKETS, LET ME TELL YOU

WAIT

WHAT THE-

FUCK

YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

I HAVE TWO SPIDERMAN 2'S!

HEY, YOU MORONS

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COOK A SPIDERMAN 2, NOT TWO SPIDERMAN 2'S

TRASH THE OTHER ONE YOU FUCKING DONKEYS

Service!

JUST ONE HILARIOUSLY BAD GAME LEFT

RIGHT AWAY CHEF

BAD GAME FOR YOU SIR!

...

...

ONE P.O.S GAME COMING RIGHT UP, CHEF!!!

That's not a bad game user it's funny as fuck but the game play is solid for what they were going for.

Hera ya go chef :^)

That ass is as flat as a wall.

Here chef! Have some real THICCness!

One hilariously bad game, with a dish of pathetic game developers, chef.

Nice red text, chef

MY MOTHER WAS BADDER THAN THIS GAME AND SHE WAS A FUCKING NUN

BOMBERMAN?

THE ONLY THING BOMBING HERE IS THIS GAME

IT BOMBED SO HARD ISIS TRIED TO FUCKING FILM IT FOR THEIR NEXT MOVIE

MASS EFFECT?

MORE LIKE ASS INFECT

Here we fucking go
Service!

NEW ORDER

FOUR SPECIALS: TWO GAMES WITH AWFUL COMMUNITIES, THE BEST FINAL FANTASY GAME, AND ONE SPOOKY ENEMY FROM ANY GAME

TWO ENTREES: ONE GAME WITH MAXIMUM GRAPHICS, ONE WORTHWHILE DLC

MOVE IT YOU FUCKING YUPPIES

MAXIMUM GRAPHICS SIR!

WE GOT A SPOOKSTER

TWO AWFUL COMMUNITIES, CHEF

ONE GAME WITH TERRIBLE COMMUNITY UP CHEF

GODDAMMIT, RAJ.

Specials up chef

FLAVORTOWN WHEN?

ONE GAME WITH AN AWFUL COMMUNITY, CHEF!!!

Got the best FF right her, chef!

A GAME WITH AN AWFUL COMMUNITY AND WORTHWILE DLC COMING THROUGHT!

One spooky enemy, one worthwhile DLC and the best Final Fantasy, coming right up.

MAXIMUM GRAPHICS?!

MORE LIKE MAXIMUM ASS SHIT

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

YOU THINK MEN IN MAKE UP AND TIGHTS ARE SCARY

ARE YOU SCARED OF TRAPS, YOU FUCKING TOOL

GET OUT

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF AND GO PUT SOME MORE MAKE UP ON

HEY

AND ONE MORE THING

GET OUT

Fucking finally!

Service!

WORTHWHILE DLC?!

AN ABORTION WOULD'VE BEEN PRETTY FUCKING WORTHWHILE, YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T BE IN MY KITCHEN, YOU JERK

JERK

ARSEHOLE

And service!

NEW ORDER

ONE SPECIAL: THE BEST CONSOLE OF ALL TIME

THREE ENTREES: TWO DECENT DAVID CAGE GAMES, ONE NON-AUTISTIC MMO

TWO APPETIZERS: ONE GOOD FIGHTING GAME AND THE BEST ARCADE GAME

HEY

THIS IS ACTUALLY A DECENT FUCKING SERVICE

DON'T FUCK IT UP

One non autistic MMO right here, chef.

ARCADE GAME WITH STUNNING GRAPHICS AND MUSIC, CHEF!!!

APPETIZERS UP CHEF

Entrees up chef

BALLIN' CHEF

GOOD FIGHTING GAME COMING RIGHT UP

Special up chef!

...

Also got your appetizers chef!

AHHH HERE WE GO

IT'S FUCKING STARTING

WELCOME TO FUCKING HELL'S AUTISTS, EVERYONE

YOU DON'T TASTE THE AUTISM IN THERE?

IT'S FUCKING FOUL, YOU DONKEY

IT'S INEDIBLE!

GET ME A FUCKING NON AUTISTIC MMO BEFORE I POP A FUCKING BLOOD VESSEL

USELESS FUCKING IDIOT

user

COME HERE YOU

WE ALREADY SERVED THIS YOU FUCKING COW

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, TAKE THE GAME OUT, MAKE A LATTE OUT OF IT AND SERVE IT AGAIN?!

HEY, LET ME SHARE A SECRET WITH YOU

I'm THIS fucking close to KICKING YOU OUT

Service!

BEYOND TWO SOULS?!

NO ONE WOULD EVEN PLAY BEYOND TWO HOURS YOU FUCKING PIGEON

IS THAT YOUR BEST?!

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO SERVE TO THE CUSTOMERS?!

SO NOW WE'VE GOT HEAVY RAIN, PERFECTLY COOKED, AND IT'S FUCKING DYING

IT'S DYING BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT UP BEYOND TWO BALLS TO COMPLIMENT IT

YOU SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED

CHAD, YOU SHOULD BE GLAD, BECAUSE I'M SENDING YOU BACK TO YOUR PAD

GET OUT

FUCK OUT

YOU DIRTY, BORDER HOPPING SPIC FUCK

YOU ARE TRULY TALENTED, user

TALENTED AT BEING SHIT

I'D AGREE WITH YOU IF IT WEREN'T FUCKING VAPORWARE

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE CUSTOMERS SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS YOU DONUT

SMOKE IT?!

HERE'S YOUR SPECIAL YOU SHOUTY SON OF A BITCH

Have that replacement entree chef

BEST CONSOLE RIGHT HERE

Much better! Service!

ALRIGHT MUPPETS, PAY ATTENTION, YEAH?!

WE HAVE A VIP ORDER FROM DAVID HAYTER

HE WANTS THE HOTTEST VIDEO GAME GIRL OF ALL TIME, NO DARKIES ALLOWED OR FAT CHICKS ALLOWED

DON'T FUCK ME ON THIS ONE

YOU DO THIS RIGHT, THE BLACK JACKET IS IN YOUR GRASP

Well, might as well risk it.

The hottest vydia girl, Chef.

one smokin' hot video game female right here

CHEF, I TRIED…

...

Order up chef! I hope its up to par with what you wanted

To hot for pants chef

It's canonical love interest with good attack stat and decent magic attack served in an amazonian /fit/ package with a dash of /fur/ for flavor served with its own pole to dance on.

Here you go chef ramsey

APPETIZER'S: Rayman 2, SuperMario 64, I'm not a connoisseur of Yuri so I will have what ever user is having.

ENTREES: Grand Strategy Games are for Faggot, I'll have Cinematic Platformer, with a side of Classic Sonic instead.

HOTTEST VIDEO GAME GIRL OF ALL TIME, CHEF!

That's not Ivy or voldo

FUCK

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GETTING FUCKED ON THE VIP TABLE

YOU'VE LOST THE FUCKING PLOT

HER FUCKING HAIR IS PINKER THAN HER COIN SLOT

OJ HID THE BODY BETTER THAN THIS FUCKER HIDES HIS FIVE O CLOCK SHADOW

==IT SURE AS FUCK WON'T BE CUM THAT FALLS OUT IF DAVID HAS TO FUCK THIS FUCKING ABOMINATION=

JOHN WAYNE GACY WOULD'VE MADE >HER A FUCKING VICTIM

FUCKING USELESS PIECES OF SHIT

IT'S COVERED IN FUR YOU DICKS

IT'S LITERALLY FUCKING RAW

Service! At least you're fucking trying!

GET ME SOME CUTE FUCKING GIRLS WITH SOME TIGHT FUCKING MANKOS FOR FUCK SAKE

There is no comparison, TOP QT

I'm sorry, but are you fucking daltonic?It's fucking red, not pink.

BRINGING THE HEAT AND THE CUTE, CHEF!

CUTE GIRL WITH TIGHT MANKOS, CHEF!

pick a girl any girl

AND IN CASE YOU NEEDED IT, FURTHER PROOF OF FRESHNESS

I got this one for sure, chef

YOU COULD DRILL FOR OIL WITH THOSE FUCKING TWIN TAILS

FUCKING IDIOT

IT'S DAVID HAYTER, NOT THE FUCKING SAUDI PRINCE

I PICK THEM ALL

TO GO TO THE FUCKING BIN

SHORT HAIR IS GARBAGE YOU FUCKING TOOL

*record scratch*

Excuse you?

MY BAD, CHEF! HERE'S CUTE GIRLS WITH TIGHT MANKOS, CHEF!

you know what you can get fucked you limey twat. Give back the north

...

...

He's right you know.

Chef, I don't know why this board has such shit taste, but here's the spice you're looking for.

...

Guys Gordon just left. He just walked out. I don't know where he went.

OH HERE WE FUCKING GO

THE FUCKING PENCIL DICKED PANSIES ARE HERE TO ARGUE WITH ME

LISTEN YOU FUCKING MONGREL FUCKS

ONLY HARLOTS AND LESBIANS CUT THEIR HAIR SHORT

NOW I'M SORRY IF I HURT YOUR FUCKING FEELINGS

EVEN THOUGH I'M REALLY FUCKING NOT

BUT YOUR TASTE

IS

RUBBISH

Service!

Well done, you fucking donkeys. There's hope fr you yet.

EVERYONE SWITCH OFF

SERVICE IS COMPLETE

YOU EACH HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO NOMINATE A DEVELOPER FOR ELIMINATION

MAKE IT QUICK AND COME BACK DOWN HERE

Nope can't do. The pigs at kotaku will give it bad ratings for being too offensive.

what's rubbish is your idea of five-star gourmet, i'm going to chef ainsleys instead, you big gay

I nominate this shitbag, chef!

Thicc skin

Nominate RSI Chef. Lying to customers, deliberately reading orders wrong, serving customers another wrong order and saw him taking from the till multiple times this week.

With any luck, best korea will do the work

You should microwave yourself for this post chef.

Ever heard of this one, chef?

End it here, end it now

user WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP ON IGNORING MY POSTS

They've made one dish but that's well enough for me to decide they should never make another game ever agian.

...

aww, does wittle user need his (you)? Here you go big guy.

Tumblrtale "Games"

Rami Ismail, RSI, IF, Nexon, step forward. Gearbox as well, step forward.

Now, we made it through tonight's dinner service well enough, but that was thanks to your team mates. Not you.

Rami, you're a pretentious little fucker. You spend more time making obnoxious tweets than you do making anything that can be called a good fucking game. You dirty fucking Paki fuck. You look like you could be the leader of the rape gang plotting to deflower my daughter. If it were up to me, you'd be shot.

RSI, you're the epitome of a scummy development studio. Even if you pissed out diamonds, they'd all be sullied by your piss-poor reputation. The only thing more disappointing than your shit performance tonight…is the fact that you exist

And you were all as disappointing as an unfulfilled sneeze, you fucking turds!

Tonight…I've made my decision. One of you is going home. The others will be getting their black jackets.

So

The one who's going home is…Show me those suspense faces, motherfuckers

...

Oh boy, wonder what it'll be.

...

...

...

IS

...

C'mon…

...

...

...

T-thanks I guess.

...

...

...

GIMME

...

...

RAMI ISMAIL
BACK IN LINE

RSI, give me your jacket and please leave Hell's Kitchen

Chef, you've ruined the best that'll ever be made! Don't you understand?!

Oh no, how could this happen…

REKT
Good thread, you fucking donut

RSI, your games are full of lies. Star Citizen? Space simulator? More like a fucking money bonfire simulator. I've seen drug cartels spend money more responsibly than you. I've seen money laundering schemes more organized than your entire business. You're a joke and a blight on the industry. That's why you're being eliminated.

Please leave Hell's Kitchen

In the end, I'd rather have a useless Twitter hack than a walking money vacuum. RSI may have big dreams, but they're far from being big developers. Maybe this little tip will help them.

Change the name from RSI to RS Lies

Nigger you just gave everyone game poisoning.

Super Mario 64
Goemon 64
ask the VN fag chef for that

Crusader kings
Civ 4
Tenchu
Europa universalis

standby and ready for next order, chef.

user, the restaurant's closed and the camera crew left hours ago.

Hey, now, no need to be a sour sport! user's got true depth to his flavor! He's funkiticious! He's the real deal! He's captured the symposian of flavor!

Are you guys still open? Can I get a fun RPG with cute girls?

YOU'RE NOT THE REAL CHEF, YOU'RE A FRAUD!