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>oh shit better take a sippy quickly
>magic cup has the ability to detect if the person putting their name in is underage>Some one of age can just put the name of someone too young in the cupThats fucking retarded.
>>134057164>Ron shuffled his feet uncomfortably as he stared at them, hands tangled in a worried knot>"What the fuck you doin' Weasley?! You better not be looking away from them!",yelled Malfoy as he stroked his rock hard member as it protruded proudly from his wizarding robes.>Ron glanced up sheepishly to see Harry vigorously pounding Hermione from behind on the Gryffindor commons table.>Harry looked over his shoulder at his friend with a slight grin on his face.>"C'mon Ron", Harry grunted in between his rapid thrusts, "no need to be coy. Take it all in.">As he plowed deeper and deeper into Hermione's beet red pussy he looked over at Dumbledore, himself deeply entranced in the act taking place before him.>"I much prefer this Chamber of Secrets to the other, professor!" Harry exclaimed.>"FOCUS BOY!" Hissed Professor Snape, rubbing the tip of his precum glazed penis with his thumb.>"You're just like your father. He could never take a proper inter-house fuck train seriously either.">The look on Dumbledore's face lightened somewhat as Harry's thrusts became quicker.>"You getting your vinegars, young mister Potter?" Dumbledore asked in his usual, calm tone>Harry didn't have time to respond before he began to ejaculate wildly deep inside of Hermione's slick cunt.>Falling over her back, he licked the sweat from her skin and gazed up at the clock.>"Twenty-one minutes... looks like a new house record." Harry muttered out in gasping breaths.>Snape's dick began to go limp.>Dumbledore, slapping Harry on the back, exclaimed, "50 points for Gryffindor.">Ronald looked back down at his feet, tears welling in his eyes.>Malfoy looked over at Dumbledore and yelled, "He cheated! There must have been a spell or some such!">Tucking his willy back into his robe he stormed passed Snape and over to the common room door.>"My father will hear of this!", Malfoy whispered as he stormed out of the room.
>>134057407>Chamber of SecretsMore like Room of Requirement lmao
"One point to Slytherin for every Jew killed in the holocaust">Slytherin table erupts in cheering and applause>Dumbledore turns to the camera and winks
>>134057384I believe the explanation for that is "very powerful confundus charm".The goblet wasn't even supposed to recognize four champions, so whomever entered Harry must not only have tricked the goblet's age restriction, but also convinced the goblet that four schools were attending and that Harry was the only student applying from the fourth school.
>harry puts on the magic sorting hat which shows his innermost deepest thoughts>the hat just starts yelling “NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER...”
>>134057547Why are they cheering about 0 points?
SIX MILLION POINTS TO GRIFFYNDOR
>>134057585That's a spell that causes confusion in people, what is the cutoff for what things can be "confused." Can brooms be confused? Wands? The lore says wands have the ability to choose their owner, so can you confuse wands?
>>134057547~200k points is nothing to sneeze at
>>134057547>"One point to Slytherin for every Jew killed in the holocaust">”A the cup goes to....Gryffindor!!!!!!!”
>>134057760Whoa mate, I'm just giving you the canon explanation, not defending it.
>>134057808500k points? Why is 1m points nothing to sneeze at?
>>134057760that would make for quite fun setups actually
Harry, did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire? You asked one of the older students to do it for you?I'm not fucking around, Harry. CRUCIO! How do you like that, huh?DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?!HARRY!!! HARRY!!! STOP CRYING! You are doing this to yourself. Just answer my goddamn question.CRUCIO! SECTUMSEMPRA!Harry, this is gonna get real ugly for you real quick.DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?! DID YOU ASK ONE OF THE OLDER STUDENTS TO DO IT FOR YOU?EXPULSO!Ok, that does it. Minerva! Bring me Ron Weasley......So, Harry. Care to answer now?... No?...AVADA KEDAVRA!!! AND THERE GOES RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!!! THAT'S ON YOU!STOP CRYING, HARRY!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!! MINERVA, BRING GINNY WEASLEY!!!I'M ASKING YOU AGAIN, HARRY!!! DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?!STILL NO ANSWER?? JUST SOBBING??AVADA KEDAVRA!!! GUESS THAT'S THE END OF ROMANCE, THEN!ACCIO W88!!!!!OK HARRY LAST CHANCE BEFORE I TURN OFF THE LIGHTS FOR GOOD!!!DID!!!! YOU!!!! PUT!!!! YOUR!!!! NAME!!!! IN!!!! THE!!!! GOBLET!!!! OF!!!! FIRE???!!!...WELL HARRY, I GUESS THAT'S GONNA BE IT THENREDUCT-
>>134057638>>134057869grats you made the same joke but worse
>>134057760Rowling never bothered to make magic consistent or rational. (Which kind of is the point of magic in the first place, no?)Apparently anything with a mind can be confused. And most things in the wizarding world seem to have a mind (limited AI if you will) of sorts.
>>134059695>same jokeyou’re a jew
>>134057760>illy back into his robe he stormed passed Snape and over to tSounds like there could be alot of fun with students sabotaging each others brooms and such but in reality Rowling was just lazy and hand waved a bunch of shit.
>>134059836it is the same joke. The implication was that the number of points will be zero or a negligible amount
Ok brosWould the crucio curse work on the sorting hat?
>>134060126I think its only alive when you wear it. As in it might be like a virus where its only alive if it has a host. Did it ever talk without being on someones head?
>>134057377This pic should always be accompanied by the pit bull killer pasta
>>134060167Then of you used the crucio curse on someone wearing the hat, would the hat feel it?
>>134057384>>134057585>>134057760holy shit, a WOMAN wrote this and she's not even that good of a writerstop rationalizing everything
>>134060621I think it hits the person and the hat experiences everything they do. Seems to be how it sorts them just mind reads.
>>134060126No, but not for reasons you think
>>134057384why didn't they just force him give up after the first event there was obvious malicious intent and with their horrible track record
What would you do if you had some polyjuice potion?
>>134061296transform into emma watson and publicly apologize for "my" car
>>134061296steal cho chang body and become the school slut
>>134057547bro I'm crying
>>134061566But Ginny is the school's slut.
>>134061296make ron drink one to turn into his sister and fuck him
>>134057164I'd be upset too if I was involved in the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.>a-at least the books were good though"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
for me, it's Hermione and Professor Trelawney
>>134062744natalie looks like she's dying compared to emma
>>134060167>Did it ever talk without being on someones head?yes. second movie, when harry is in dumbledore's office
>>134062343>Clifford in middle tier
>>134061030I guess they wanted to find out who was behind it?for some reason the fourth movie has a fuck huge fanbase here but it easily has the most pants-on-head retarded plot of the whole franchise. only the time turner fiasco comes close
GREEN HOUSE BAD
HARRY YOU ORPHAN RAT!!!!DUE TO YOUR SHENANIGANS HOGWARTS CAREFULLY AND LIFELONG CONSTRUCTED RELATIONSHIPS WITH DURMSTRANG AND THE BEAUXBATONS HAS BEEN RUINED AND WILL BE TAINTED FOR A LONG TIMETHIS WHOLE FIASCO OF YOURS HAS MADE THIS EDITION OF THE TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT A COMPLETE SHAM AND HAS MADE HOGWARTS THE LAUGHING STOCK AMONG THE WIZARDING COMMUNITYYOU KNOW HOW HUMILIATING THIS IS FOR THE SCHOOL AND FOR ME AS HEADMASTER YOU JEWISH FUCK?NOT ONLY THAT BUT THERE ARE NUMEROUS CALLS THAT I SHOULD RESIGN AS HEADMASTER, YOU LITTLE SHITAND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, THE MINISTRY IS GETTING INVOLVED INTO THIS WITH THEIR OWN INQUIRIESMY TEACHERS AND STUDENTS ARE GETTING HARASSED BY THE DAILY PROPHET AS WE SPEAK BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU MANIACAL SACK OF SHITALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SIT ON YOUR ASS AND JACK IT OFF TO THAT CHINESE CHING CHONG YOU LIKE SO MUCHWHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU YOU'RE GOING TO WISH VOLDEMORT WOULD'VE BURIED YOU WITH YOUR DEAD PARENTS YOU LITTLE RAT FUCK
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYUH NOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S FOR OLDER STUDENTS ONLY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT IF THE OTHER HEADMASTER'S LOOK DOWN ON ME NOW NOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>134062199Ginny's the school urinal.
>>134057377>Hagrid...check it out
>>134065658he said calmly
NOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST OPEN ME, IT'S THE RESTRICTED SECTION FOR A REASON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>134061030there was a (((binding magical contract)))
>>134061296turn into luna and have hagrid stretch my tiny body wide open
>>134059379He said calmly
>>134059379I don't understand what accio w88 means.
>>134065658Dumbledore being concerned about the image of his school hosting Tri actually makes sense.Given it was revealed his actually a bad guy.
>>134057588congrats, this is the first time I've laughed to where my sides hurt
>>134067309Why not turn into Hagrid and have Luna stretch your massive body wide open?
>>134062794He was already hitting the tranny wall.
>>134069995polyjuice potion only works for humans, cmon you gotta think about this shit its not because I want to be the little girl haha
>>134070190what about when harmiony got turned into a sexy cat girl
>>134057384>>magic cup has the ability to detect if the person putting their name in is underageNo it can't, that's why Dumbledore had to put the age line around it
>>134070363she got stuck like that for weeks because the potions not meant for that, she was in the hospital for ages
>>134057164How come movie Dumbledore was such a pyscho? Book Dumbledore was always super chill.
>>134070640because they made the movies grim dark, he's not like that in the first one
>>134070540what if they sling shot a rolled up piece of paper from a safe distance into the cup?
>>134070682different actor too>there was a dream that was hogwarts
>>134070640They were both versions were dicks. It was never actually clear in the books how much of him was genuine kindness and how much of him was just manipulating people to do his bidding.Movie version was at least more open.
>>134070757i like the idea of some juvenile kids messing with ancient magical artifacts like some kids in middle school would
“HARRYDIDYOUMASTURBATEINTTOTHEGOBLETTOFFIRE!??!” Dumbledore said calmly with a wank.“No”, said Harry. He was aware of everybody watching him closely. Snape made a soft noise of impatient disbelief as Harry’s snake went flaccid.“My, my! Cum to my office, this instant!” exclaimed Snape. As Harry followed him to the dark Slytherin dungeons, he looked back at the mess he made. The goblet was unrecognizable, once gold and glimmering, but now white as winter’s snow. He gasped as he saw Dumbledore gulp down its contents at once.“Ahhh better than butterbeer! Dilly dilly!”, shouted Dumbledore.“Dilly dilly!”, everyone repeated.As Harry and Snape finally reached the dank office, they were surprised. There sat the caretaker Argus Filch who looked at the both of them with lusty eyes, licking his lips and maintaining eye contact. Harry didn’t know what he was in for. He wanted to get out of there at once and find Ron so they could both masturbate into another goblet in his dormitory.Snape now closed the enormous double doors of his office and looked back.“Now Potter”, he whispered, “it’s time to slytherin.” And Harry knew what was to be done.
>>134057164>he said softly
>>134057547Rare times when I laugh out loud. Based and redpilled.
>>134065829>he repiled calmly
>>134061375you won't, i know you won't
>>134070757Why didn't they use the eagles to fly over the goblet and throw the ring, I mean the names into it?
>>134070190>want to be the little girlBased, I remember that thread too
>>134070922lmfao bruhh im dead this nigga really said its time to slytherin bruhhh that was out of pocket nigga im cryne lmfaooooo
>>134062319>not turning into her youself and letting him fuck you