>Look Joe, name one animal that could stand a chance against me 1v1. Silverback, tiger, rhino you name it. Get us in a ring and I will maul them to death. It's simple as that.
>Look Joe, name one animal that could stand a chance against me 1v1. Silverback, tiger, rhino you name it...
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>>133738682yeah but LOOK AT THE BICEPS ON THAT THING
>>133738682an elephant would fuck you up
>>133738682>yeah but like uhh gorillas have thumbs, you know?
>>133738731nah. elephants are big fat pussies.
>>133738682A rhino would fuck a bear up. A bear has no way of getting through that hide.
Great white shark would fuck it up during hide tide.
those things will tear you to shreds. Hey Jamie how tall is a Mountain Gorilla sanding up?
>>133738770bears have machetes on their fingers. a swipe from a bear paw is like a mike tyson punch x50 with knives
>>133738961Hippos and Rhinos both have skin so thick lions cant get through it i dont expect a bear to have any luckHippo or rhino fucking destroys bear every time
>>133739019Bear claws are longer than rhino/hippo skin.I looked it up.And what will a hippo do to a bear anyway? Push him to death? At least the rhino has a giant sword on his face to deal lethal damage.
>>133739019I hippo would have a real hard time getting it's jaws around a full grown bear, but could probably do a lot of blunt force trauma. A rhino would have a far better chance since a bear's hide isn't that thick.t. Watched a few tierzoo videos
>>133739124hippo has big tusks
>>133739124>what will a hippo do anyway?Gore it with its 2 foot long tusks, probably
>>133739124an enraged hippo is terrifyinggranted so is a bear, but for different reasons
>>133739199You can just dodge the hippo, you can't dodge a bear
>>133738763African elephants can literally kill anything on land with their tusks. They're bulldozers
>>133738682tiger wins easily
Hippos.Fun fact is that Hippos have killed the most humans among animals.
>>133739140>I hippoWay to expose yourself
>>133738682>Grizzly Bear: 600 lbs>Polar Bear: 1000 lbs>Hippo: 4000 lbs>African Forest Elephant: 13,000lbsIt's literally no contest
This thread reminded me why we need to bring back the Colliseum. Based Romans loved them some exotic animal fights.
>>133738731>>133739384who the fuck cares about gay ass elephants? fuck off.
>>133738682A polar bear would rock that bears shit.
>>133739626see they are just like us. now lets import millions of them
>>133739626i wonder how proud the guy who designed the instagram interface must be
>>133739626Honest question, are chimps getting smarter?
>>133739663Elephants are cool, smart, and they can kill anything in this thread like a fly. Cope
>>133739221Good luck dodging a hippoPic related
>>133739706They've entered the stone age
>>133738682A large sauropod could kill everything posted in these threads combined. Mammals are pathetic!
>>133739626fun fact: this is Doc Antile's monkey and video, of Tiger King fame(and that's a bad thing)vice.com
>>133739740a bear could definitely take that chubby boi on the left
>>133739706not really>>133739767No lots of various animals use stone tools like otters doesn't mean they've entered the stone age
>>133739784non mythical creatures only itt, please
>>133739732Elephants are scared of mice tho
>>133739847Yes it does. Soon the ottermen will come, fuck off dude.
>>133739740>Blunt. Force. Trauma.
>>133739221this nigga here thinks animals act same as vidya enemies
>>133738763Elephants fuck up hippos with ease and hippos are the "fuck you" animal that wrecks everybody else's shit. An elephant would destroy any bear.An adult male Grizzly weighs anywhere between 180-360 kg, an adult African elephant weighs anywhere between 2-6000 kg. The bear has no chance user, no chance at all.
>Joe Rogan, put me in a ring with that fat fuck Yogi and I will have him screaming for honey combs in two minutes. His paw swipes have got no coordination, I step in with a banana slamma to his neck and good night Teddy.
>>133739864No it won't trust me man otters are bro tier.
>>133739663Sounds like you're just seething about the fat that an elephant would prööööh you
>>133738763I think you'd be suprised. I think it'd fuck you up.
>>133739927otter paws wrote this post
>>133739019Hippos have a bite force of 2000 psi. They could definitely fuck up a bear.
>>133739935Oliphants are the fags of the animal kingdom
>>133739384>listen Joe the elephant has a size advantage yes but they can’t see shit I mean they are literally blind>Is that true? Jamie look that up. ..elephants are extremely short sighted - Hold-hold on Jamie stop scrolling - short sighted and can often mistake cars for other elephants. Damn man! They really are blind!>Blind as a bat! So I’m telling you, in a fight I’d—>Blind as a bat (laughs), where did that come from?>I don’t—>Blind as a.. bats aren’t really blind though are they? I mean they have eyes. But they navigate by sound?>Sonar. So anyway he has the size advantage but you can’t hit what you can’t see!>Sonar. That’s like the submarines. But bats fly in the air. Imagine a bat that could go underwater- or dude- Imagine a submarine that could fly!>(nervous chuckle) Yeah..>Just a dildo with wings bro! Going BING BING! (hysterical laughter) (slams table)>Y-yeah. Haha. But Joe I really think this fight is gonna come down to>BING! (laughs)
>>133739740Wtf why is that elephant being so aggro
>>133739639I love her
>>133738682>"So this bitch Goldilocks comes into my house and thinks she can eat all my fuckin food">"Woah, hold on. Jamie pull that clip up....Jesus she's going to town in your fridge. What would she weigh like 500 pounds? That thing would FUCK YOU UP">"I took her down in one hit, Joe. BAM."
>>133739448>Times of IndiaLmaoooo. Also these aren't adult rhinos they are talking about
>>133739920Can we please have a regular Gorilla Diaz?
>>133740062Prettay... prettay... prettay good.
>>133738763Male elephants some times get angry and just start destroying shit around them
>>133738682What the fuck are you shitting me? *wheeze* hahahahaha, you're crazy bear. *lights up blunt* You wanna get into this? It's all natural baby.
>>133739639You guys ever think about how its clear suffering is the meaning of life
>>133740062lol that's perfect
>>133738682"well yeah but have you ever done ayahuasca? holy shit Jamie pull that jaguar's video up"
>bear vs gorilla? *laffin* joe, I could take either one of them honestly. these teeth break bone joe, mine could probably pierce through a hippo.>so anyways yea I do let my wife peg me, and I don't think there's nothing wrong with it. it's not unhealthy, we both have fun, and in the end it's my body, my choice.>*laffin*
>>133740002otter paws are cute
>Joe, those jaws could rip a tank apart! I've seen a T-Rex rip a fuckin lawyer in half!
>>133738682Does anyone have the template for the curtains and whatnot? I wanna make some OC.
>Alright, here's the thing, yeah these guys have the weight advantage on me, but there's more to it than that. Joe, you know me I don't give a shit, I'm fucking crazy. I'll do whatever, gouge out their eyes, rub doodoo all on myself, bite their balls off and tons of other crazy shit they wouldn't even think about. People count me out but they forget that I am fucking loco!>I'm unpredictable, you don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. I mauled my caretaker the other day. Ripped off his face, ate his hands all that stuff. Guy took care of me for 4 years, but I just kind of felt like fucking him up, so I did. I'll do what the other guy won't, and that's why I'll win.>You're one of the few guys that understand that, Joe. That's why I won't maul you, not today.
Could a bear beat a boar? I know the size difference is huge, but boars are fast as fuck.
This thread are awesome, this iswhy I come to 4chan, Reddit just doesn't have the same humour.
>>133740999First off checked, second off boars are fucking nuts man, back at my grandpa's village in Serbia there was a forest with boars and wolves. He always said if he saw wolves it'd just be another day, but if he saw boars he'd get the fuck back home as soon as possible, those fuckers are vicious for no reason and they get mad at absolutely nothing.
>>133740627>>133740829Quality OC here, how many more animals will Joe interview?
>>133738682You clowns get spooked by fully grown Moose.
>>133738961Depends on environment. Bear could win in forest for sure. But head in, you would need to be actually retarded to think a bear could stop a rhino.
BRING ME SMOKEY.
>>133738763Elephants will fuck up any animal. They even have natural roid rage:>Musth or must (/ˈmʌst/; Urdu: مست, from Persian, lit.'drunk') is a periodic condition in bull (male) elephants characterized by highly aggressive behavior and accompanied by a large rise in reproductive hormones.>Testosterone levels in an elephant in musth can be on average 60 times greater than in the same elephant at other times (in specific individuals these testosterone levels can even reach as much as 140 times the normal)
>>133740829What if monkey vs pibble? Who's more insane in the membrain?
>>133741442The look of a psycho killer
How would a 1,000 kg walrus fair in an animal battle tourney?
>>133741613they'd be a good pre meal before the fight for any of the Real contestants
>>133741613Jamie pull THAT up
>>133741658They fight polar bears so they can't be that big a push over.
>>133739639What's it with baby elephants that make them look like they are some sort of animatronics prop?
>>133741716looks bad joe
>>133741435Holy shit Rhinos are fucking nuts. That car is probably 2 tonnes with the driver/passengers and it's flipping it like it's made of cardboard.
>>133741760they got a floppy trunk that they dont know how to use properly
>>133741810Rhinos are crazy strong when they want to be. The only reason hippos mog them so much is Rhinos get scared when hippos charge or open their big fuckin'n maws at them. Rhinos could probably dab on hippos if they weren't such retarded pussies
>>133739594me in the bathroom
>>133738731I think you'd be surprised
>>133741760Looks like they've lost some of the facial musculature that most mammals have. Lack of expression.
>>133741891Rhinos are some of my fave animals but god damnit do they seem stupid
>>133741964They are really stupid, yeah. Their brain is very small compared to that of similar sized animals.
>>133740062which episode was this?
>>133738682A rhino or an elephant would fuck a bear up.Tigers hunt smaller bears as well, though I doubt it could win against a polar bear. Hippos are pretty dangerous as well, could give a bear a good fight. I wonder if a massive crocodile could win, a 6 meter long panzer reptile with probably like 1m+ long jaws could probably fuck a bear up, if only it actually managed to bite into it.
>>133739124Hippos win. They are tanks, way tougher than bears and have higher damaging weapons. There’s a reason no one fucks with hippos, and that they kill more than any other large animal in africa. Max weight of a hippo is anything from 5-10 times more than a grizzly.They are belligerent fucks and don’t back down from a fight.
>>133741964They have shit eyesight
>>133742015>They are belligerent fucks and don’t back down from a fight.See >>133741901
>>133742015>>133739169>>133739185>>133739199How about hippo vs rhino? Seems like a pretty fair fight, although I'm inclined to go for hippo due to shear rage and the ability to hide, while rhinos are absolute brainlets with big rocket ships on their heads.
>>133742006The problem crocodiles have is they're next to useless on land. I've seen Tigers literally just mount them and bite into the back of their neck and there's literally nothing he croc can do about it except flail around like a retard. Having said that they are incredibly dangerous in the water so it evens out.
>>133742090Rhino wins if he sticks to his guns and actually fights back.
>>133738682unironically a hippo.
>>133742006crocodiles get fucked even by felinesthey're too slow
>>133742100Have you really never seen a death roll? They're pretty much one trick ponies but god damn if they can't tear a limb off in under second.
>>133739283Roman pit fighting says otherwise. The data is already in
>>133741435Based nearsighted rhino bro btfoing tourists
>>133739740Where’s the video man.
>>133742183I showed this to my girlfriend and now she's crying. Fucking assholes croc.
>>133742071Meh, that seemed like a strange situation from the start. There was no fucking reason for the hippo to be there in rhino country in the middle of night I still rate the hippo aggression.m.youtube.com
>>133740999Pitbulls are fucking shit hunting dogs. Literally all they're good for is kamikazeing pumas and killing babies
>>133740829literal niggersI hope you chimps get stomped to death on next stampede
>>133738763The elephants at the circus seem like big cuddly gentle giants because they're beaten into submission. Most of the time it's fine. But occasionally one of them snaps and takes out a part of the tent and some stands. They're pretty much unstoppable until someone shoots it.Never ride the elephant at the fair.
>>133742407Yeah well fuck you too, pal
>>133742407Say that in my enclosure bitch, keep my fuckin name out of your mouth.
>>133742429Honestly one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever watched. It's like Richard Russell and Killdozer combined.
Why aren't there are more animal vs. animal bloodsports? Humans needs to be fucking entertained and it's natural as fuck
>>133742429based elephant revolt against the modern world
>>133742574Especially knowing how intelligent elephants are, all it wanted was to get away but humans were everywhere it looked.
>>133742627Fuck that, we need humans vs animal bloodsport. Like, you can serve your life long prison term, or you can go on TV with like 7 other guys and try to kill an elephant with your bare hands. Now that I would watch.
>>133742429Yup. I remember riding an elephant when I was 10 at a fair. It honestly makes me sick thinking back on it. It looks like ringling brothers finally retired elephants in 2015. So I doubt elephants are at the fairs now. And thank fucking god for that.
>>133742644Fuck, man. Truly evil people that turned a blind eye on this absolute unit. I'm going to have to watch some Orangutan Jungle School to restore a bit of faith now.
>>133739221If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a bear
>>133742429lmao what is that idiot in the green doing. looking to get himself killed?
>>133738763Polar bears can kill belugas
>>133738682Bearfags are even worse than catfags and that says something
>>133739221>>133739215>>133739324A lot of people really don't know how terrifyingly dangerous hippos can be. I can't really blame some of the retardery in this thread. >water cowYeah. It's also a fucking killing machine
>>133738682Tigers commonly eat brown bears in Russia, and tthose aren't even the biggest tigers in the world. Yes, they obviously try to snag the young ones, but it occurs that that they kill adult ones too while there are basically no reports on bears killing tigers.Keep in mind muscle-to--fat ratio is literally the diametrical opposite between bears and tigers (~70% to ~30%).Not sure why 4chan and cavemen like Rogan are so obsessed with bears or what they do to their brains.
>>133742678At least give them some sticks and stones
>>133743006>Not sure why 4chan and cavemen like Rogan are so obsessed with bears or what they do to their brains.Endomorphs who relate to bears more than lithe animals and basically suck their own dick about it because no one else does.
>>133743006Shut up tiger. You will be turned into a fur rug.
>>133742979Nah fuck em too, I am actually a cetecean fag.
>>133743138>it took that many to bring down 1 (one) crockpshhh... pathetic
>>133743006I relate to wolves because they are thinly built bitches that can’t win in a straight up fight and need tactics to pull them through
>>133743138>AAAAAAHHHHH SAVE ME HOOK
>>133743138>when you spawn in the middle of the enemy team
>>133743262You will never be a wolf, furfag.
>>133743294did i say that? Try to follow the fucking conversation
>>133742429>wild animal murders a bunch of people>SHE DINDU NUFFIN SHE A GUD GIRL SHE WAS ABUSED>ITS US HUMANS WHO ARE THE VILLAINS :CCCCCWhy are women and numales like this?
>>133741810it's some 90s shitbox. it weighs 800 kilo max. maybe 1000 with the people in it
>>133742429elephants have such deep emotional intelligence, they may as well have been abusing actual human children. fucking sucks.
>>133743338Elephants are 100% abused if they’re in captivity. That’s just how it works. Stop being a disgusting insectoid bugman chink. You’re melting down because other people have more emotions than you, imagine that.
>>133743319I know, I just want to be edgy and bant
>>133743338The guy in question was known for abusing her. IIRC he was also drunk and high on coke when Tyke snapped and prööhed him to death.en.wikipedia.org
>>133743456Based incel elephant
>>133742429>That dumbass trying to hold the gate closed
>>133743551Is it weird I'm really hard looking at this?
>>133739221Hippo's are actualy fast when they want too. They can out run a man. They are near horse speed
>>133739221Bruh how fast do you think a hippo is? A hippo can run 30 miles an hour. The reason why of all the animals in Africa the hippo is the most prolific human killer is because of dumbasses like you who don't even know how fast and powerful those animals are.
>>133743456Based antisemite elephant
>>133741442I remember watching a documentarywhen I was a boy that basically went>young male incelephant gets his musth on>rampages through the savannah for days, maybe weeks, with a gangrene covered cock just fucking up everything in sight>finally finds another herd>matriarch is impressed as fuck and let's him mount her>he immediately jizzes on her back, loses his mojo and gets chased awaySomebody please tell me they remember this too.
>>133743338>Take an intelligent creature from it's natural habitat, deprive it of interaction with it's own kind and beat it constantly until it does stupid tricks for a jeering crowdWOOOOOW WHAT IS THIS ANIMAL'S PROBLEM ALL OF A SUDDEN???
>>133743338Elephants have approximately 2x the fluid intelligence of a non-white human and about 50x the empathy and compassion, they're not wild animals.
>>133742142>Even by felinesFelines fuck all of these animals up. They literally take down elephants
>>133743859Maybe baby ones, but an african elephant BVLL can demolish any number of virgin lions.
>>133742519Look at those fucking triceps.
So uhh .. do you exercise?
>>133739124Hippos are the most dangerous animals on earth idiot
>>133738682Are there any videos of a gorilla fighting a bear? How does this not exist yet?
>>133743589yeah what the fuck was he thinking. Might as well have tried to slow down a train by jumping on the tracks.
>>133743777fuck elephants, fuck jannies, and fuck you
>>133743338Yes yes, we know you can’t get your little dick hard without snorting a line of ivory, chang, but there’s nothing wrong with empathizing with animals.
>>133743589E for effort, i guess
>>133743551>what's going on, big guy?
>>133741716>last used emojis>mutt flag>kike flagwait..... do americans really..???
>>133743770So to get laid I basically have to turn into roided up nigger and punch everything in sight? Damn.
>>133743795Well, they are wild animals. But you really shouldn't fuck with them.
>>133743006>not the biggestThey are thoughRoman pit fighting have already tested this 2k years ago m8. Brown bear beats everything to such an extent that it was just a waste of expensive cats
How many animal species are there that we can pretty confidently say that a healthy adult has never been killed by any natural predator?
>>133740062>BING! (looks to see if Jamie is laughing)