Greetings Holla Forums tell me what ails you

I shitpost incessantly and attempt to spite the world that wronged me.

I wish the girls in my VN were real

I have bad allergies.

First and third person games. Also visual novels. I like the games to have good visuals or at the very least interesting art style. I also want to have a proper story and an objective. Good characters is also a must.

I still need me daily dose doctor!

My dick is wider than it is long and makes me look like I have a venus mound in my tighty-whiteys instead of a dong.

That's anxiety. I have the same thing. What happens is we bite down really hard during our sleep or sometimes awake but unconsciously. I recommend cutting coffee.

I use this site as a replacement for things of meaning in my life, but it's a really shitty low-calorie replacement so I need a lot of it.

I have some pretty bad money problems and not a lot of friends

Go watch DSP and play the game hes sucking at

Go play Remember me and play as Sheva in RE5

Crusader Stronghold will help you with that

Rainbow6 Siege is free to play

Theres nothing I can do for you, jump off my doctor office castle

Just fucking kill yourself next time, you lazy faggot.

I assume you've played FEAR, Ratchet and Clank, Armed and Dangerous(kind of an ugly game though), MDK and Max Payne?
Also the story is non existent and personally the whole cyberpunk=neon eye bleed artstyle isn't my thing but you can try Desync, it's a fun kind of horde shooter that isn't a procedurally generated game for once.

It is?

Thanks.

I'm sorry but you'll have to wait for DBFZ.

Max out your cards on MOBAs and hope your addiction is cured in 2 fortnights

Stop being autistic and play a MMO met friends and go on a quest to save your virtual world, be sure to spend lots of money in the cash shops so they know you're cool and have lots of money,

I'm a doctor.

OP is an impostor, you must all apply leeches directly to the penis to cure your ills, taking the advice of this charlatan could result in any number of illnesses or injuries.

Don't listen to him he's not a doctor, I am. Just go play Pacman.
but seriously stop the caffeine, its just a jewish scam

tffw from those you listed I only played R&C
Always wanted to try Fear though. Thanks user.

Who is DSP and what's the game he's sucking at, doctor?

Remember to give FEAR two playthroughs, one normal and one without using slow-mo.
You don't want to know who DSP is

He is what happens when you don't see your doctor.

I g-googled it, is it him a-anons…?

I cannot stop masturbating. Also my chode is itchy.

i want to die but am to much of a coward to off myself

Wow sounds like you should put some lotion on that bad boy

I fap dry.

You either try and find something to do when get the itch mine was dishwashing and reading shampoo bottles while taking a shit or every time you get the itch you stop and listen to the voice that tells you not to, and you think to yourself "what the fuck would my mother/father/sibling/friend/crush/2dwaifu think of me if they knew".

Well there's your mistake. As your doctor, I advise that you apply some Lubriderm vigorously and at length at least three times a day.

Play DmC and hope that pushes you over the edge

Ladykiller in a bind

I don't know how to meet people irl

I drink too much and don't play enough video games

The holocaust didn't happen.

Womble's a faggot!

Play more video games and drink about the same

quit being autistic

Games suck ass, tv and animu sucks, studying too much is making me dull, i only care about sports but there is so much you can do of it before you wreck yourself, i dont care about women because im as poor as some african nigger SEND HELP PLS

The Pope hasn't called a crusade in a while

HOW

FUCK YOU DOCTOR

I got a bad case of loving you

Manipulate Rome into placing your Bishop as Pope in either Medieval 2 Total War or Crusader Kings 2 versions set before Post-Horselord DLC usury.

Lolis make better plague doctors than you.

I suffer from the common cold doctor, what can I do? A sore throat and nasal passage plague me, among other minor ills

But wait, which is the real doctor? This is very important as it will determine if I jump off a castle, or apply a blood sucking parasite to my penis.

Do both, Sodomite.

You're not the doctor.

I am now. The other two died of plague, yet here I still stand.

Well alright. I tried to cure my allergies by playing through age of mythology again. It was the HD version though.

Play Rise of legends instead, it has a more probable chance of curing you or at the very least numbing down the effects to allow more time for…surgery.

Whatever you say doctor. I was going to finish playing through HoMM, but I'll give it a shot.

Let us know how it went, along with any results.

I crave a good mmo to play but there are none.

Wait is that Rise of nations: Rise of legends?

I like looking at my poop in the toilet before flushing

...

who?

It's a man baby

Ah well, could be worse

Yes.

SovietWomble I think, some twitch e-celeb.

I have never orgasm'd in my sleep, ever.

Delta pls go.

How would you know?

No stains.

I have had orgasm dreams before, shit is cash, but mine only happen for like a couple of seconds, like one dream in the middle of it I thought "I feel like cumming" so I did and carried on with the dream.

This is unironically the best thread on Holla Forums in a while.
That's depressing.

Oh shit, this is the "alien" that people spotted spraying clouds of gas around fields that supposedly was a precursor to the outbreak of black plague across europe during the dark ages. Pretty cool.

Kill yourself, end the depression

Backpains, tired eyes and a weird fever sensation

I hate games and I want to kill them for fun. I want to be like EA except 100 times worse. How do I get the money to do that, doctor?

I have 5 classes and they are hard! But its my last semester.

your degree is worthless

t.neet

Let me guess, you're a highschool drop out but you make 100k+ cause Holla Forums told you so huh?

I have the fucking flu and I can't fucking sleep.

Naw, I learned to program by myself while doing high school, finished it, and got a job at a tech company where I do what I love and where I've got no student loans to pay back
I also develop games on the side

Studying is worthless

I'll take things that never happened for 300 alex.

I don't need you to believe it, I'm good where I am

You do realize programmers are getting replaced by street shitters.

Programmers, yes.
Designers that program no.

If you know how to both do UX design, know programming fairly well, and also have knowledge of a bunch of different art-related programs like illustrator and photoshop companies will try to snatch you up like crazy because you can cover a bunch of different jobs without them having to hire more people.

suffering from playing rainbow six siege during free weekend

My legs are not OK.

Nah.

I've got a degree and now I have to teach people born in 2000.

Classic.

Why did you want to be a teacher.

He never showed proof.

I didn't particularly, but it came with the job. Once you get a high enough rank at the university I guess they expect you to give back a little.
It's cool though, they're nice kids and I get to see the other side a little. I was just remarking on their age and the fact that it makes me so anxious I'll get an ulcer.

Id hope you are like me and make the classes as hard as possible. Damn little shits better struggle like I did if they want to pass my class.

My throat hurts and I keep coughing up slime, also my head hurts and I cant sleep properly. I also sweat a lot and a week ago I had this thing where I got really cold on the inside, like my organs had turned to ice or something but I still kept sweating like it was a thousand degrees.

There are niggers in my neighborhood and they invited everyone to a cook-out. I want to eat because I have no food in my house, but I don't want to enter a monkey's den and get BLACKED for some shitty (((kosher))) hotdogs.

ALAS! I HAVE BEEN BASKET CUCKED BY MY BEST MATE, FENWICK!

Having to buy a pizza roll to get an legendary(TM) Orc.

Help me, doc. I gotta fever…

life

I finally have enough vidya to play when I want to but now I have run out of shows/anime to watch. I want something with 100+ episodes to scratch that itch

IF THINE DATE OF BIRTH BE AFTER 1500 THOU ART A BLAGGARD AND A KNAVE AND DOTH KEN SHITE ABOUT THE GAMES OF VIDEO

I'm playing Morrowind and I keep trying to autistically fill in every square inch of the map and it's bogging the game down because I'm abusrdly slow and the map drawing distance is really small.

I keep finding shitposts in the games I play, games that predate the shitposts in question by years.

Good doctor, I have this rash…

Would you prefer it if I suggested an animation studio that consistently made great animes for almost 2 and a half decades straight? If so give AIC a shot. Makers of such greats as Bubblegum Crisis, Gall Force and Tenchi Muyo, among others.

Guys, what if in the year 2000, 17 years ago, some child found a Monkey's Paw and said "I wish there were more shooter and open world games!" AND IT FUCKING CAME TRUE IN THE WORST WAY?!?

Does AIC really count as a single studio though? If memory serves, they had a multitude of different subgroups that have produced various shows over the years (Gun X Sword having been by "AIC ASTA", for example)? Just saying, since it strikes me as potentially hard to keep quality consistently high if you've got numerous different branches making things over the years (hell, it's hard enough for a single studio to maintain quality; look at Studio Bones and the difference between the original anime they make, and the sequels some of them get).

An incurable affliction.

FUCKING ELVES