Have you picked up your Destiny® 2™ Pop-tart® yet?

Have you picked up your Destiny® 2™ Pop-tart® yet?

This kind of shit is just embarrassing for both parties involved.

I love gaming while getting some gooey filling down my throat haha

That's just sad.

Nobody wants a disappointment-flavoured poptart


Ironic gayposting is still gayposting

tfw no WMD-class Mjolnir battleroid bf to go on extra-dimensional journeys with

I'll eat my Destiny® 2™ Pop-tart® while spinning my Destiny® 2™ fidget spinner

...

Was I the only one who read that as G.O.Y Edition?

...

Heh. They didn't put a dot after Y, and T and Y are awfully close together. No wonder.

They probably took idea from custom made ones.

And this is the official version.

All of destiny, all of that time to get to light level 400. It was all to get the rare golden fidget spinner of the chosen. DLC will expand to other worlds as you try to get the legendary Heil Honey I'm Honey Pogs and slammer set and the sunlight pet rock.

oh shit

30 FPS™ on PS4 Protato™.

This is really funny.

No because I'm not amerifat. Never eaten a poptart in my life and I don't feel like I've missed a thing.

The alternative is as bad: 60 fps via Blizzard's app.

This is not okay.

wtf I love destiny now

I don't know a single person, not even the normalest of normalfaggots, who even give a half of a fuck about Destiny 2. The first game burned so many people they have no idea, though putting it on Battlenet will likely boost the sales to insane numbers because blizzdrones are just that fucking stupid.

I see these turds everywhere. What the fuck are they even for?

calming down austists

It's the millenals' equivalent of the pogs.

It's literally to keep people with short attention spans busy. It's for spergs. You out to buy one.

When are we gonna see school kids trading around these Fidget Spinners as currency?

Meme responsibly, kids.

At least it may keep one of the faggots away from a mobile for five minutes.

Distract Palestinian children so they're easier to kill. I'm not joking.

Absolutely pathetic.

Are you implying killing sandcreatures is bad?

It's not even something that requires your attention. It's just some plastic piece of shit you fiddle with.

...

3rd worlder here, what does a pop tart taste like?

salty milk and coins

penis

...

>>>/IDF/

Multitasking is a meme, it just means you do multiple things worse.
The phone of the spinner?

They are jewish prayer wheels, the same concept hinduists use when they inscribe a prayer on a spinny barrel and then just slap it 'round and it counts as praying a lot very fast.
The insides of the spinner have prayers to moloch inscribed in microengraving

this is just embarassing

Hot Wheels got a new job?

So how many times do I need to spin it to summon a succubus?

-256

I'm not sure how you can spin a plastic toy worse, but the kids will probably find a way.
I meant the spinner, but it could be both, really.

freedom

...

666 times.

like a disappointing pastry, just eat a danish or something instead

how do you have internet

for what purpose

It's like pottery.


Pretty good actually.

Take your favorite fruit, mash it into a paste and then put that paste between two really bad cookies and top it with like a cup of sugar.

Destiny 2 still absolute dog shit, but having a physical item as a pre-order bonus is pretty neat. Or it would be if it wasn't a fucking meme medallion.

I think they taste like shit.

They're just the ebin popular shit like how Pet Rocks or Beanie Babies were super popular for no reason.

Promotional marketing is almost always embarrassing for everyone involved, but this takes the cake, Ramen noodles in FFXV was dumb but this somehow tops it, a kitchy JRPG can get away with sort of stuff like that, but Destiny is trying to present itself as a serious story right? Pop-Tarts, really?

I think they taste pretty good

...

I don't understand why you would buy anything other than Hot Fudge Sundae

You ever freeze them before eating them? Because that's the only way they should ever be served.

If you've ever had fig bars or Fig Newtons, it's kind of like that except filled with artificially flavored sugar jelly and topped with a frosting so hard it might as well be candy. It's the bottom of the barrel kid's breakfast food.

No, the kerning is bad so the T appears compressed relative to the other letters.

Jesus christ almighty, medical science has gone too far if that thing survived infancy.

Pop Tarts have the same problem vodka does. They need to constantly create new pointless flavors to expand their revenues, because it's not enough to be profitable, you have to have growth or the shareholders get impatient and move their money elsewhere.

You forget that Poptarts keep re-releasing wild berry as a new flavor every other year.

Oreo has the "flavor abortion" segment of the market on lockdown.

POTASSIUM BROMATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING A LOOT BASED GAME IF YOU ARE GONNA PUT HALF YOUR SHIT INSIDE JUNK FOOD AND DRINKS

Sounds better than fucking root beer.


So now they're trying to 1-up each other?

The pumpkin one is probably better than the regular ones honestly.

To be fair, maple and pumpkin spice pretty much make everything better. But Oreo is a shitty knockoff in the first place, don't buy them.

What the fuck kinda name is Hydrox?

superior

Where the fuck are my Warframe fidget spinners

It was a time when people thought invoking the periodic table of elements was the height of sophistication. A better time.

Never change Holla Forums.

Someone post the verification can green text

I want to live in a time where an army of marketers doesn't exist to tell a company what a dumb name Hydrox is.

no but i did that edge shave gel when they did a ass creed unity promo

the armor they give you is absolute dogshit, like pretty much worse than the default outfit

also you didnt need to buy the can for the promo, it was just the barcode.

...

(Checked)

Salty milk and coins.

jesus christ this is bad

will there be a quest involving pop tarts?

Xbox One X

...

Read it as "GOY Edition" at first.
Not too far from the truth, really.

...

That dude spends his day dancing like an eldritch abomination making spit bubbles and he manages to get a following, even fangirls with pages dedicated to him

These shits popped out of the blue in my country these last few weeks, I hadn't even herd about them until recently and now every fucking kid seems to have one. I thought the third world was safe from this cancer. Guess it's time to grab my shotgun and go innajungle.

...

...

what the fuck

Pop Tarts peaked with Wild Berry back in the 90s, no flavor has been better since. They keep releasing weird shit and none of them taste particularly good so they can them a couple months later.

Oreo comes out with loads of weird flavors but all theirs are actually delicious, I don't know how they do it. I buy a package every time I see some fucking insane new thing and they're always great. They're flavor savants.

Knowing Blizzard is so kiked that their employees list looks like a Tel-Aviv phonebook, I'd say this is intentional.

The secret is animal grease. That's what the filling is always made with.

Are these good though?

Even girls into /gfd/ prefer muscular or /fit/ guys especially anons or pseudo-/r9k/ anons, don't ask how I know this, so if she's into traps she's usually bi.

Wait really? I don't care I'll keep eating them, that's just interesting.

I love swedish fish so I'd buy them but I've never seen them in a store. The marshmallow peep ones they had for Easter with pink filling were fantastic.

They stopped adding lard since the 1990s, now they're made with vegetable oil.

Yes, a lot of people say to use shortening instead but I guarantee you they use lard. Lard always taste's better than shortening.

...

Were eugenics that bad for (((them)))?

no, only sluts do user

...

hydrox? what is that some kind of laundry detergent?

Every woman likes muscles. It's ingrained in their brains.

How long before they're traded for sex? My money is on it's already happened.

Now that's just putting puppet strings on a corpse.

...

bought a 99 cent bag of that swedish fish shit and had to stop midway.

The aftertaste, when it hits, is fucking atrocious, it literally leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Kinda like sweden in general

Do you amerilards actually eat this crap? No wonder you are all dying of cancer.

...

>Something somewhere has a stash of those boxes and probably eats a single pop tart every year in a ritualistic manner

No, it actually is a sign that people AREN'T buying it more then anything.

Whenever companies fall by the wayside on their profit margins, they put out gimmicks like this to boost sales using the "oh this is new i should try it once" crowd, who then proceed to like it or kill it based on popularity.

I have NEVER seen the swedish fish variant in stores, so it must have had a short run for that reason.

...

Speaking of pop-tarts, i remember an user posting his homemade pop-tarts recipe in some old gamer fuel thread. Can someone post it again, i wanna try it out for myself.

Likely George Soros.

It would have to be a very petty rich man who hates america but wants the freedom all to himself who would do that.

Just make some rectangle shortbread cookies, roll out the dough, cut it in half, put jam on one half, cover the other half with the rest of the dough and ice it after it's done. That's all there is to it.

Those digits look convincing.

They're an exercise in advertising shit to kids. It's rare you actually taste them, usually you bite into one too early (takes about a month for one to cool down to acceptable levels), you curse bitterly as fruit-like lava scalds the roof of your mouth and fragments of dry pastry make you cough, then you do it again only with slightly less pain, slowly it dawns that they're like chewing jammy brittle cardboard then you stop eating them forever.

If you've ever had a pizza-roll (basically a miniature nuclear furnace of tomato and cheese in a doughball if not) they're along the same lines but PTs are worse for it because they present a false front of edibility and *seem* like a treat for breakfast when they're more like a punishment for believing the hype.

If you've ever eaten cardboard with sugar on it, you'll have eaten a poptart.

Hey thanks man

Thanks for clearing that up, vid unrelated

So its a regular oreo?

The abiding problem with Oreos of any stripe is they're both sickly/cloying and paradoxically taste of nothing but indefinable matter. I've never understood why anyone thinks anything of them, I used to think I had dead tastebuds but now I think people just have really shit taste and have only been exposed to this tripe so their bar for confection is phenomenally low.

They're decent if you toast them

Already happened, they're already starting to go out of style though.
I know one indian kid who sold one to a slightly broken one with molten metal on top of it to a tard for $30 because the indian kid lied to him and told him it had "Acoustic feedback"

it's a regular oreo with oreo bits in the white stuff.
That's it.

How embarrassing.

Hell yeah.

What the fuck?

But MGS is preachy leftist garbage

...

Enrich your manboobs with the enriched-flour of Pop tarts while you waste away at the screen playing one of the most overrated trash heaps to come out this decade, you sweaty, neckbearded loser! :D

Costco?

Swerve, peasant

...

At least they know their fanbase well

I saw duckin donuts oreos, you can tell these companies are depserate for something that sticks.

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

I'm convinced you're an obese idiot who just likes the flavour of processed garbage.

do people actually cook poptarts? I don't have them often diabetes level sugar but when I do I usually just eat it raw because I don't have time to heat it/let it cool.

I don't know anyone who actually cooks poptarts, they just grab it out of the box on their way out the door as breakfast replacement. Or eat a whole box sat at the computer like the WoW nerd from South Park.


Obese yes, idiot no. There is no objectively bad Oreo, just some aren't as good as the others. Every time I try a new flavor I'm expecting them to finally have failed, but it surprised me how good it tastes.

The filling in every Oreo tastes like oily sugar and whatever flavoring they add. I don't know how you can enjoy that.

Chuck em in a toaster, it's the only way they taste good.

Oreos are pretty shit tier when it comes to cookies
how come mexicans and slavs always make the best sweets?

...

I only see the fucking Switch dog. Thanks viral marketers.

...

still though I like those little jelly fish, I dont know why they are called swedish fish though I thought everyone had them.

GET ON MY LEVEL, HEATHEN.

I don't think they're called that anywhere but in America. It's just for exoticism points.

...

...

...

I just play with my dick instead, if i am bored.

Do you spin it around

I'm a man who likes (some) muscles on women. What does that make me?

(I really, really wanna lick some sweaty abs, bro…)

I bet industrial designers could probably learn a lot about ergonomics from these stupid little gadgets.

...

destiny 2, it's so bad only people who like fidget spinners will play it!

I can't even look at poptarts right now, I managed to get food poisoning from eating one that expired a week ago.

Can you use it as a gamepad?

The fuck am I looking at?

Art.

I fucking despise poptarts and everything they stand for. No other product in this country evokes such a visceral reaction of sheer disgust this putrid pastry does. Every time I look at a box of poptarts, I can instantly imagine some gross fat kid with a weak jawline and sweaty manboobs living in a suburban mcmansion, holed up in his room with his broken xbox controllers and scratched Call of Duty posters, dumping store-brand soda down his mouth and shoving his grubby fucking hands down a bag of chips. That kind of kid. HE is the one that eats poptarts for breakfast. Every day he wakes up 15 minutes late, puts on his tapout shirt and basketball shorts, and stumbles down the stairs to put his poptarts in the toaster. How the fuck does he even survive off it? He probably spends the whole day dragging his ass around like the lazy asshole he is because eating poptarts is basically like eating nothing at all. When he gets home from school he nags his mom to take him to GameStop so he can buy a replacement controller after he smashed the last one against the wall in his prepubescent rage after being killed in Halo. THAT is what poptarts represents. Poptarts is everything wrong with what this country has become, wrapped up in a shitty processed pastry. Poptards can go to hell. "Hurr it's a good source of vitamins and minerals!" FUCK YOU.

They're completely useless, they're purely intended to fuck about with the little doodads on its surface. That it's worth $20 is hilarious.

Does Costco even have a clearance bin? Everything is already pretty cheap if you don't mind buying a 20-pack.

If nothing at all was like 400 calories, sure.

stop projecting, lardass

You're the fatty here bucko

How much is some?

Pretty gay tnqh family.

Major tone and mild/moderate bulk on a still-feminine frame is 10/10 musclefu material. That She-Hulk is pretty hot, and probably near the top of what's reasonably feminine. Her face is weird and off-putting, though; she looks like the Rock, who I am not attracted to.
I lust for shredded abs, defined backs, *muscular thighs*, and an upper body that doesn't look out-of-place atop that. Pecs are also desirable, ass doesn't need to be mentioned (just keep the body fat % high enough that it's a woman's butt and not a man's…). An appropriate (moderate) amount of arm vascularity is great too.
The thighs and abs are the most important part by far. I'm not sure what I'd be willing to give up to regularly lick a hot female gym rat's tummy while massaging her quads, but it would be significant.
Just writing this down aroused me greatly. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll dream about lifter chicks tonight.

I think that's gay

Fit grils do that.

No it's an oreo flavoured oreo. Duh.

💯✔

It might be, I've certainly had my sexuality/fetishes warped by porn and (mostly) hentai over the years.

I want lefty/pol/ to leave.

You get (1)ne (You) from me, and not a single one more.

Reminds me of how Namco thought offering coupons for a free fish taco with your $50 purchase was a good way to market Klonoa's Wii remake. Said fish taco chain only being in certain states.


For fuck's sake. Anything to keep your shitty child quiet on a car trip, I suppose.


Someday archeologists (be it human or alien) are liable to dig through our trash and ask the same question we ask of shit our ancestors had made. When was it made? What purpose did it serve? Was it actually useful, provide entertainment, or did it have a spiritual/religious basis behind its creation?


If I ever saw "Swedish Fish Flavor Creme" without the Oreo connotation, I'd be very, very leery.


Depends on the flavor. Favorite used to be Brown sugar-cinnamon when I was young, but aside from that and the generic strawberry ones (which always felt like such a bore), I didn't really branch out into other flavors of them much. Been a long time since I ate any either. Also, what said.

When was the last time a big budget AAA game was good?

All this projection

I wish, most women like faggy stick men now. Luckily both me and my GF like being fit and likes the the other looking fit.

I liked DOOM

Around 17 years ago, give or take

I can't tell if the person that wrote that thought they knew English well enough to not stand out, or if they just ran the descriptions through google translate.

Since no one else is asking, how do you know this?

That's not an accident, it's the goal of snack food. A little bit of taste, a lot of texture, and it's gone quickly so you need to eat another sooner. If they taste like too much people get satiated and stop eating them before the bag's gone, which means lost sales because the next craving is met by leftovers instead of a new bag.

I told you not to ask.

I really can't tell if 2nd pic is a jike or not

S-sorry

pop tarts are gmo i wont buy them

We will survive the long nuclear winter off our fat reserves and products loaded with preservatives.

...

todd you dont even work for monsanto whats your deal

this shit is why humanity is not destined for anything more than nuclear annihilation

My girlfriend actually gave me one of those abominations. I actually use it

Activision user here.

You lads haven't seen anything yet.

I hope you actually do work for activision dubsman, I want to see autism the likes of which would demolish this thread.

I made the horrible mistake of trying to soak swedish fish in vodka don't you will hate yourself and that shit was more tolerable than these abominations.

Point is, traps are fagbait and anons are better-looking than you'd expect. If the average user doesn't act like a doormat beta and gets reasonably /fit/, he has a decent chance of scoring with some weird college age girl or christmas cake who fantasizes about cuddling a cute autist and treating him nicely.

...

I'll have you know my mom tells me i'm gorgeous all the time.

Autism, user? What you see in the thread above you reflects the modern game buying demographic.

Look upon the corporate tie-ins and fidget spinner promos and despair!

Do you fuck your mom?

Fidget spinners are literally toys made specifically to calm autists. It's just that acting like an autismal man child is hip.

Compared to redditors and the average orbiter, anything is attractive.

MILLENNIAL MARKETING
I
L
L
E
N
N
I
A
L

M
A
R
K
E
T
I
N
G

billy this nigger

why?

I'm already autistic enough. If we had a kid I don't want to know how bad he'd be. Probably be into sonic or something.

what if you have a girl

peanut butter girl
Apparently peanut butter girl is streaming.

What even is it? A pocket knife for spastics?

You just sort of mess around with it in your hand. It's like playing with a pen when you're bored or tapping your foot.

Why should I be surprised at all?

Reminder

>supporting (((corporations)))
If I find you Chaim not even your teeth will be left, your ashes will fertilize my tomatoes, and i'll use them to make homemade pasta sauce that I'll share with my white neighbors.

From what few i've had, it tastes like sugary garbage no matter which flavor you get but you always end up wanting more and more of them.

It shares a lot of similarities to crack cocaine, but is somehow less healthy.

OY VEY THATS WORSE THAN THE HOLACAUST!

Even as a child I knew that Toaster Strudels were far superior, any boxes of PopTarts entering the house would be left for my sister to eat. Nowadays I make my own delicious confections.

Is this product threatening me? Does it think i don't have the balls to come over there and rotate his disk?

Does your sister have diabetes now?

No, much worse, she's a vegetarian.

Poptarts did that, Poptarts turned your sister into a vegetarian.

Yes i did, i will also enjoy playing Destiny 2 on the bath tub with these bath salts.

Are you retarded?

fucking wat

It's a big-ass ship you walk all of like 20 feet into as a playable area.

Ashens reviewed it

...

I like things from the early 1900s, they seem like they're from a simpler time.
also you could be racist lol

the subhumans who "need" these things have a lot worse things going on with them than needing some damn toy.

Because Mexico and Slavland fucking suck to live in.

I am old enough so i can speak, it's not hate, it's anger: I get the Rubik's Cube or Yoyo, there's skills involved, but this thing is utterly purposeless.

It's due to this generation of talentless, ability-less dumbasses that are being perpetuated.

Even a yo-yo, which lacks a "finished" and "unfinished" state, still requires skill to even use at all to perform the basic motion and has room for improvement in technique.

Such a progressive paradise!

I'd consider a would up yoyo to be finished and an unwound one to be unfinished. The "goal" so to speak is to wind it back up, being more and more dextrous as you go.

true.

yeah, i skipped through the video a few times and landed on that part
Jesus christ you faggot, this isn't an age thing. Fidget spinners are as retarded as most playground fads, like this wristband things or POGs or whatever else, because they're stupid and useless, and their ONLY driving force for purchases and existence is because it's popular. It's an empty feedback loop, people buy it because it's popular which makes it more popular so more people buy it, and they're objects that have no fucking purpose.

It's such a dishonest fucking argument. I see people bitch about Overwatch all the time even in threads that have nothing to do with them, but the last thing I'm going to do is go
and act like the actual reasons they hate it don't exist.

POGs had an actual game behind it at least, but fidget spinners have nothing

>uncooked

That part of 0:31 where he licks his lips is where I had to stop. This is not even "cringy", it's just disturbing.

I thank god every day that I wasn't born as a gremlin.

Pumpkin spice are the only ones I can stand and it's mostly because the filling is more like a smooth spread than a jam. It's easy as fuck to make your own in that flavor too because pumpkins are dirt cheap and easy to grow.

...

I used to only eat strawberry poptarts till I suddenly decided to try the smores ones. They're alright.

This guy always takes autism to a new level.

I had the pleasure of meeting one of the devs randomly at a gas station. I told him his game was wasted potential. The sudden smile from being recognized was gone.

That never happened, shut the fuck up faggot.

I found the dev, how was your visit to san antonio?

jesus christ what the fuck

...

Back in my day we called that "The back of dad's palm" or "An extra helping of Dimetapp." By the time I was old enough to buy a Gameboy myself, I was long past old enough to teach myself to just fucking sleep because car trips are dull as hell unless you're driving.

The Root beer and Orange ones are alright when frozen. Just wait, there's some retarded flavors coming down the pipe like Watermelon.

...

When are the Norks going to nuke us again?

I can't help but love what this guy does

Anyone have a screencap of the post where an user went into great detail about the differences between horse semen and protein shakes?

I thought it was him going on about how the horse's cock was FUCKING DRY.

I love current year + 2

dry, soft shortbread with a thin layer of sweet icing on top and a thin layer of some sort of sweet jelly filling inside.

What goes on in the brain of these normalretards that when they see this they will go "Yeah, I'll buy Destiny now!". Like, who the fuck cares and why is this even done, why would incentivize someone to purchase said product more when they are two separate things. I will never understand marketing or the psychology of the mass retard market.

It's about associating everything in their subconscious with your product. No one is actively convinced to buy the game because of this other than really young children.

Gay. Wanting muscles on a chick makes you a grade-A homo. You might not be as bad a trap chasers, but you're still on the salami-sucking spectrum. The sooner you come out, the sooner you can avoid this

Wtf is /gfd/? I have never seen this term.
Besides I disagree with you, look at Japanese and Koreans. They idolise the metrosexual and effeminate males, I'm already surprised there isn't a movement there who go one step further and want traps. I hear in Japan muscles are actually seen as gay, it's the total opposite.

It was a /fit/izen, wasn't it?

But user, I hate college girls.
Women think men want sluts and it's unappealing. Meanwhile anime, manga and Japanese game devs know men want cute pure girls to hug and protect. Thus I'm reminded why I hate women.
They can't into fashion either, sexy means less clothes. Again anime would just use a traditional Chinese dress or something. Or a dress, my point is, women don't know what men actually like about them, they say we only care about sex and tits, then dress like whores and talk about wanting breast implants (assuming they don't go full feminist and imply beauty is subjective so no one can judge them, leading to a whale like form) and no man, none I have ever met, likes implants. Even normalfags think any size natural is better than large silicon tits. Then you have women who genuinely think there is no market for dfc.

Anime > reality, because atleast one is aesthetically pleasing.

...

...

Being the driver doesn't make it too much better.
Specially if you happen to end up with a pair of women that won't sut the fuck up for the whole trip.

I think it's popular due to the constant need for newer generations to just be doing something. Our attention span has been eroded to the point that we always need to be entertained or immersed in something or we're bored. As an example, when i'm not doing anything at all I get too fidgety and end up playing with a pen, or a flipping a quarter on my knuckles, or on my phone etc. A fidget spinner is something to do when you're not immediately enthralled with whatever is going on in front of you.

t. every generation since humans had language

go work or play videogames you fucking cunts

Our generation seems to have a lower attention span than others.

Neet uprising when?

that's why "play videogames" is an option, it's so that faggots like you that can't find a job that gives paychecks in an envelope can feel good about themselves

to be fair I'm one of those too

This is high octane shitposting

what the fuck

holy shit

I hate being a neet. I need money to become a buyfag.

Maybe NEETism is what's saving you from money loving jewish buyfaggotry.

nice