Gamespot's Crash Bandicoot Review

And water is still wet

The comment section is actually pretty mixed. There's as many people talking shit about the reviewer as there are saying how the game is outdated.

...

No, they will decide to listen to journos and make another remake with more easier levels and microtransaction-based healthbar.

Oh my god!
How will the poor journos review this game properly if it is too hard and not (((modernized))) enough?!
Truly, challenging games are what's ruining the industry.

Funnily enough Crash Bandicoot isn't even hard, it was the only series of games that I was able to beat as a kid and I sucked at vidya

"Git gud" doesn't mean anything to these people.

It's pretty sad that journos can't beat a game that even DSP can, though, he's only beaten the first two games and has yet to even play the 3rd.

To be fair, there were several parts in the previews where the modern graphics actually muddled the platforming. Circular pipes and tunnels that previously had clear "floor" and "wall" textures, in the remake it's "realistic" so it all bleeds together. Bad choice, at least on that.

First one is a bit of a pain in the ass. They do get easier and easier as the trilogy goes on. Same with the Spyros.

Yeah, which makes this "review" even more fucking stupid than it is. Jesus Christ.

He also died around 300-400 times per game and kept reloading the save multiple times.

what
Games don't just get worse over time, the author claims the problem stems from the games being "dated" but it's clear his real problem is it being too hard. That fucking confuses me even more, because Crash isn't known to be a particularly hard series.
The author (pics related) is old enough to have played the Crash games when they first came out, so he has no excuse.

Thanks to those pieces of shit there is one more reason for devs to make their games piss easy.
If they make them challenging they get shit on by those failures.
Videogames websites and (((reviews))) need to die.

Even normalfags have their limits.

He started playig vidya around the time Portal came out and you know it

This is the future. They get faggy journos like this to push the "cinematic experience, deep narrative, too challenging" etc. so gaming goes down that path to appease them and make things easier. They are made easier so they can get all types of people playing these games and so absorb the propaganda easier. If Modern Pozzed and Cucked RPGs or White People Bad, Brown People Good FPSs were brutal, many would never get the full Marxist propaganda. By making them easy and story focused, everyone can get the full dose.

Oh, they know all about it, it's just that they take it as an insult rather than the "if you suck ass, keep playing until you don't" it actually is.

I suddenly realize It's been over 10 years since I gave even a single fuck was a "reviewer" thinks. Feels pretty good.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I also like the admission that he can't even handle enemies that don't react to him. He should be shitting on Crash for having graphics that look inferior to the originals despite being vastly superior on a technical level, but no, he has to be a gay cuck.

Yeah. blue pills must be easy to swallow.

Good to see them upholding the gold standard in games journalism.

I mean, in some ways the crash games havent aged too well but gameplay wise they are perfectly fine. Hell if they wanted to go the less offensive route they could just say this fits in well with the people who like their games a tad more classical and difficult there in. But to completely write off the game as too difficult is the worst possible way the could've handled a review like this. Yes, its older and its tolerance for difficulty is higher; remember when death in a game would title screen you? If a game pulled that nowadays this guy would have an stroke.

There's a gamespot game recording. Actual gamespot reviewer playing.

They dont like sonic either, a bunch of ign journos were all in agreement that there was never a good sonic game ever.

I'm mirroring it as we speak.
I wonder if it'll be as bad as Polygon's Doom footage?

Are journos all retarded or something?

You can actually see the reviewer learning and getting better, which is sad, because if more games challenged him he'd probably git gud and stop treating difficulty like a vampire treats sunlight. But you just know that won't happen.

Not to mention that gameplay that actually forces you to git gud goes against their ideology. I mean didn't you know improving yourself is a conservative ideology relating to competition which relates to toxic masculinity?

I opened it and watched it. Its not speed run footage and its obvious its probably his first time playing it but he did fine.

I could do better while jerking off with one hand

Berenstain universe is shit.

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shitting on (((game journalists))) for being casuals equals loving the game now? is this bait?

They're retards that couldn't even get a job at buzzfeed.

Your bait skills are small league.

FTFY

Other reviewers gave it 7/10+.
Gamespot's review will just make sure less people buy it, which is a good thing.

Huh, disappointing. I wanted it to be awful.
I'm also not mirroring it anymore because Avanti went autistic and isn't working.

So is this a sign that the collection is good if it's literally just the same game?

shit bait

I'm hesitant to grant him that. While it's definitely true he did, you can tell there were some parts with sheer dumb beginners luck. Especially the 2d parts, where he only narrowly avoided being smashed by the logs by fate.

Let alone the NYT

Crash 3 is still a perfectly playable and damn fine game, and even now it still looks remarkably good because of it's art. Increasing the resolution in an emulator makes it even look better. This faggot probably can't even remember you die in one hit in Super Mario Bros.

It's basically just the same games except a lot prettier, and with redone music and voice acting. Plus Coco is playable in all of them, if that would make or break the purchase for you.

cinematic experiences and mature gayms are the future shitlord , deal with it

Fug

This image. This fucking image never fails to make my fucking blood boil. Thankfully, one of their former mods got arrested for cheese pizza, so their reputation is tarnished even further.

Also whoever made this put in a screenshot from The Wrath of Cortex in the "Then" side, and ND didn't make that one.

very soon super mario will be too hard for these casuals

"Aged poorly" is not a valid criticism unless you explain why. This term, along with shit like "generic" and "repetitive", have become ways of trying to mask poor knowledge of game design. It reminds me of IGN's crappy NuDoom video review. Now, I don't really care for NuDoom, but that review was atrocious and basically knocked off a few points for using outdated 90's shooter mechanics. Aside from the fact that the game seems to have more Painkiller influence than 90's shooters (a distinction only someone with some form of game knowledge would be able to see), that isn't a valid criticism. Why is it bad? Why doesn't it work anymore? What mechanics prevent it from working? Of course, you will never get any reason for any of this, because that would require actually knowing your stuff.

JUST BECAUSE IT'S E DOESN'T MEAN
FUCCCCCCCCK

they are right, crash games were never particularly exceptional. sony did a good job of marketing them but really they are pretty mediocre.

It's fun but it's not 10/10

THEY'RE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE VIDYA THAT TURN THE FREAKING CASUALS GAY
URGH URGH IM SICK OF THE CRAP

So, where do you think the franchise will go if this trilogy is successful?

Crash Team Racing HD

Telltale Crash Series.

So they didn't manage to get past the first stage?

Nowhere because Naughty Dog hates anything thats not a dark and edgy cinematic storybook.

I hope Twitter Sonic never lets this go.

CRASH BANDICOOT GEMS COLLECTION

-CRASH TEAM RACING
-CRASH TWINSANITY
-CRASH BANDICOOT - THE WRATH OF CORTEX

All HD and smoothing out game breaking issues
LONG LOADING TIMES IN WRATH OF CORTEX? GONE
BAD LIGHTING? FIXED
BROKEN AUDIO? YOU BETTER BELIEVED WE FIXED THAT
SHITTY ANIMATIONS? REPLACED WITH SPARKLY NEW ONES
CRASH MAKING MONKEY NOISES? NO NOISES? ALL REPLACED WITH WOAH

And it'll never happen

That reminds me, why aren't we using this cut to go for salting with the cult of diversity?

An edgy grimdark Crash reboot.

A trash that killes sonic.

And you know what, fuck your chao garden. Its shit.

Dedicated whoa button.

Hopefully an actual Crash 4.

Meanwhile…

NEVER BEFORE HAS A MAN WHOAD MORE THAN CRASH

at least some game journos can have some fun, I guess

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I finished these games when I was a child. A fucking child.

How bad do you have to be to think Crash fucking Bandicoot is hard? It's not a walking simulator, sure, but it's not like it's I Wanna Be The Guy either.

Straight to hell I imagine.

A Crash Bandicoot narrative experience starring Lesbian Girl from Gone Home.

This is from the same guy that did those other voiced over music acts from the 50s and 60s, isn't it? You wouldn't happen to have more, would you?

Nope. I did try, but not even youtube has more.

...

>>>/neogaf/

This isn't the same person, I take it?

Hopefully crash twinsanity: the actual full game edition.

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I was shit at Crash 3 on PS1 as a kid, but this triggers me.

Oh wait, now that the "cinematic experience" isn't there and only the gameplay remain, now they see how shit naughty dogs are, funny how that works

Did anyone here buy the thing? Can an user tell me how terrible it is/ how faithful it is? Are the time trials for 1 and 2 actually fun and not incredibly easy?

Giving the ost a listen this track pops out to me as being severly inferior.

For comparision
Yes I realize I show up in every crash thread complaining about this but it's still a shit remake.

They're using PAL times for relics in 3 iirc

Are you seriously implying that they can think critically? In this age, emotions are what guide people, not fucking logic. Hence why you get faggots who can't explain why something is good or bad.

Is is true the dev times are also changed?
the ptsd from Mad Bombers still remains in my mind

No idea.

I honestly have a feeling all this kind of trashing old games, is politically motivated. Its just like the whole Sonic bashing all these fags did. I wouldn't be surprised if they did the same with Mario, I am unaware if they have.

They are trying something along the lines of "Gamers are Dead" etc. If you can say that all the old classics were "never any good" then it makes their game design and gameplay appear to the brainwashed masses to look as if it was inherently flawed and only because of nostalgia did they ever think it was good. Its manufactured and I wouldn't be half surprised if they were even payed by producers to write it. Why paint it that, way you might ask, well because than it gives the perception of "move out of the way old and broken and say hello to fresh and new" with "fresh and new" being narrative driven of course loaded with political messages and "Press X to not die." gameplay. Producers love it because any idiot can make a "NARRATIVE EXPERIENCE", and the journalists love it out of the shekels they get payed or the political messages they can to circle jerk over.

Here's a challenge: name a single good video game journalist.
Pro tip: you can't.

Games got too simple. Modern games have regenerative health, frequent checkpoints, and platforming sections with autograb + climbing.

What's even hard about that game? You just hold your shield and slash.

they do and they have for years, they understand how games work and how to play them and anyone who actual likes games can probably figure out most games 10 minutes after picking them up because they understand their hobby

when these clowns want games to be "taken seriously' they refer solely to story because they want to be seen as mature so fucking badly and its why they suck the teet of art games so god damn hard

Crash Retold game

Nothing is hard about it if you stick to that formula, but there's lots of retards out there who don't remember, or actively refuse, to hold their shields and when they die because of it they go out and whine that the game is hard instead of trying again and fixing their mistake the second time around.

It's a toss-up, some sound better whereas others aren't nearly as good

Oh, no, I am definitely aware of their inability to think critically.

It's not really all that hard. It just came about in a day and age where you had to look far and wide to find any form of game with a modicum of challenge, so along comes this game where you can actually fail every now and again and people who don't know any better are just shocked and amazed by this. Their minds are boggled, "I've never experienced anything like this!"

Another thing you have to keep in mind is that some people are just absolutely horrible at video games, just awful (many of them working for gaming publications). Heck, many of the ones I know play video games all the damn time (don't let anyone try and convince you that it's because they don't play much, people play more video games now than they ever have). They just never seem to learn anything, often times repeating the same mistakes over to the point of insanity, and sometimes just flat out not using multiple tools the game gives them. It can be incredibly frustrating to watch.

Crash has good gameplay
although what he said is true. They saw sonic and mario as mascots and made their own, hence antropomorphic animal mascot.

It's a competent port that barely adds anything to the original experience. N-Sane only really serves as a reminder of how impressive the original titles were.

Tbqh the original crash wasn't that fun when compared to shit Mario 64, Megaman X, and Sonic if I remember correctly.

Your opinion mate.

And time trials in 1 and 2.

I'll pick it up in a bit, I'll tell you when I finish it.

trouble with the (((JEWEY))) eh?

I'll certainly pirate the game once it inevitably comes to PC.

You didn't try very hard.

youtube.com/user/digitalofen

What's the source of the song? It sounds very familiar.

Very professional. Could you imagine someone reviewing a book or movie after getting halfway through? They'd be laughed at.
Unless the game was so terrible, you couldn't keep watching, it's a must to play through
it all.

Do they have parkinsons?

Gay

Well how can we be surprised that they have trouble with Crash when they suck at NuDoom?

That part is easy, but then again, I can beat Ripto's Rage with my balls.

Yes but he probably only started gaming after 2007 for some strange reason :^)

idk he counts as a journalist but majinobama writes some good stuff
>shoryuken.com/2017/05/09/youre-already-dead-on-site-at-the-fist-of-the-north-star-national-championships/

seth killian used to as well
>shoryuken.com/tag/domination-101/

mechadamashii does some good interviews on forbes but it's not all strictly vidya related

These days? Sure. But they used to have learning curves that took a lot more than 10 minutes to conquer no matter how good you were. Show me somebody who got gud at Twisted Metal 2 in 10 minutes and I'll show you a liar.

It's in the webm where the guys telling hes sad because wildebeest is getting killed by lions, so he shopped it to be a nazi and hes glad that its dead.
I think.

well by "figure out" i mean core mechanics, some will will mess around with the controls a bit and say "okay this does this and this does that" and start moving forward and trying to see what affects what, if the game is good that same player will find the depth in how it works and go from understanding to becoming good

the journo types are so used to a game using the 'heres how you look, heres how you move, heres how you shoot" opening sequence that when a game doesn't immediately teach them the solutions they assume its bad because player experimentation is so frowned on now because either casuals are just that fucking stupid or developers simply no longer think the players have any working brain cells anymore

It's not a port. None of the original code is present. This is a remake.

These people review 3-4 games a week. They play the bare minimum and youtube any story content they can't finish.

that's like watching half a movie then reading the IMDB plot synopsis

Unreleased games don't have cutscenes uploaded on YouTube, unless the game was leaked early.

At best they might get access to debug options that let them skip through stuff or perform other preview functionality.

It's a fucking remake. I mean, what did he expect?

UUUU

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Keep it vidya

It is up to /agdg/ anons now. Hardly any developer dares make a challenging game anymore. Well, hardly any developer dares to make videogames anymore.

People bitch about not webming fucking music videos, but not the videos that actually should be webmed?

I wouldn't judge you for it user, it has no reason to exist at all

Dear God that is some piss poor Elmer Fudd shooting.

Pitiful.

Spooky walking simulator paper collect-a-thon.

More like peter brown pantstain

And yet they'll praise Mario because "LOL NOSTALGIA"

Don't start console war shit, please

Because it poses a challenge and I want to press
a button and receive endorphin like in my favorite skinnerbox operation: overwatch

Not even memeing or being contrarian but that doesn't look good. Hate the music and also hate how plastic and fake it looks, looks sterile and has zero charm to it.

Can anyone who has the game and the originals check into if they made the game more forgiving or if I was just imagining it?

If they had backwards compatibility I would buy one in a heartbeat finances be damned and play crash and watch the ps3 movies I didn't get to watch because I didn't buy one.
How can sony be so fucking retarded?

Christcentered gamer was it?

It's more forgiving because the original game didn't have Dual Shock support.

this. wrestling with directional buttons made the original way harder

That score looks a bit high for crash, he never deserved more than a flat 5, truly mediocre.

It wasn't retarded to drop backwards compat, the PS3 hardware architecture is shit, the PS4 is the first Sony system without shit hardware, with the move to x86-64 backwards compat will be significantly easier from now until Sony stop making consoles.

Trying to purchase this shit on ps4 but the button isn't there to buy it or pre-order it, I just want to start my fucking download before I go to bed

That's the best most accurate description of Crash I've ever read, you cunnys are fucking delusional if you think he's anything but what that person described.

Stop sucking dick, please.

Other than that your point is correct.

Too bad he didn't go into any elements of the games.

crash was superior to mario in every way.

it isn't even about mascots, crash wasn't sony's mascot, it was naughty dogs mascot, who competed against Insomniacs mascot, Spyro the dragon.

>acting like the original is some holy icon to never be shunned (when in reality it's a 7/10 series from a (((movie studio))) and a producer of one-way-curved CRT tvs)

how do you faggots fucking breathe

If you want to entice people to buy your hardware you need software for it.
PS3 didn't get enough software to justify buying it for a lot of people, but it came close at times.
Real close with things like MGS4 and Demon Souls to name at least 2.
So if you put them onto your next system via backwards compatibility you now have 2 more system seller exclusives that many people just haven't played yet who could like to play it that are also lower priced (or not based on how many copys are out there) due to age which lowers the costs of earlier adoption as opposed to end of life adoption.

It sucks, that this game was actually pretty decent but I never got around to finish it because of the damn loading screens.

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kys retard

wouldn't surprise me considering the human centipede of predictability for the majority of your opinions

sorry did I hit a nerve there?

crash was in no way superior to mario in the 90s. crash had an objectively more conservative design and barely took advantage of 3D or tried to move gaming forward. it was basically 2.5D while mario 64 was true 3D and tried really hard to take advantage of that fact.

If anything, this thread has proven how dumb metafags are.

When did I imply it's anything but the standard going forwards, and it's a hell of a lot better than the trash architectures going forwards.

Description of Crash as a product

I never mentioned Mario, and no Crash isn't better than him, Spyro is the game that should have been where Crash was, and Insomniac is the company that should be in Naughty Dog's position, they were always their superior, but never got that recognition thanks to the way Sony pushed Naughty Dog.

I'm not denying that these games wouldn't be good for the PS4, but cutting it there and aiming for standardized architecture going forwards is the way to go.

Except it did take advantage of the 3d. Crash is essentially a Mario game set from behind with horizontal movement. If you were to reskin it with Mario 64's models, I'd honestly have an easier time believing it is the sequel to the SNES Super Marios than what Nintendo actually made.

calm down son no need to get upset.

I stopped reading shortly after posting about the author of the article and I don't want to face the cringe, how bad is it?
There's a reason meta monday threads stopped. Metafags always think they're smart and better than everybody else while claiming whatever board they're on is a hivemind. The real irony is that metafags always seem to have homogenized opinions.

…I mean I guess Mario dicking around with Rabbids seemed even less likely a month ago, but you do realize Naughty Dog shit is always Sony exclusive, right?

Crash technically also being a Skylander seems to be a one-off thing. For now at least.

Not developed by ND
Not published or owned by sony

If a grown man can't play a game, have you maybe considered the thought that it's the game's fault and not the players'?

...

It's a year limited exclusive.
Retailers aren't permitted to announce it.

Looks like you're late, bud:

some sections are easier, the cortex fight in 3, when the 2 masks go into the tornado it moves slower, other parts have likely been changed to

Except the (((jounos))) are shitting on it for the wrong reasons.

kill yourself nigger

OH, NO, LE EVIL SUMMERFAGS!!!!!!

Wrath of Cortex isn't Naughty Dog though.

Remember guys, having fun is unnecessary when playing videogames, politics and "cinematic experiences" are more important in order to improve the industry

Why is it that these types of critics can't do either gameplay or complex storytelling well? They can't do anything right, no gratification is instant enough for them. They're either too wrapped in their politics to enjoy a good story, or anything with consequences is too hard, or all danger needs to be walled off. Is there ANYTHING these people are talented at? At all? Is there anything else left?

I don't like Crash, but I can tell you are not from around here and should fuck off.

hello summer

Get gud fags!

SUMMER

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ON A REMAKE OF 3 FUCKING PS1 GAMES
The devs just had to add a new coat of paint to a sturdy old car and they did exactly dat
yet these morons still complain about outdated and hard dificulty in one of the casualest of casual games ever made?!?!?!
i fucking love Crash had a lot of fun 100%ing them all as a kid
But chalenge wasn't exactly what i wanted whenever i played Crash

IGN was never good.

Got a point there. Cultural Maxists are all about demonizing the past.

People are still making fun of Stabhands for that strip!? Lol.

Does that mean it might be good? Honest question, is there any chance it doesn't suck?

So…

How the fuck does CTR fit in the series after the events of 3's 100% ending?

From what I've seen it seems to just be the older games but with better graphics. You can either buy it or emulate the older titles.

It's getting a PC release somewhere down the line right? I'll wait it out until I can pirate it then, or until there's a deep discount on the PSQuad version of it, whichever comes first.

I thought so too but apparently the PC version isn't confirmed at all it's just speculation since Crash is owned by Activision now. The game is 50$ in canuckistan so it's probably only 30$ in USA.

Really? Not Naughty Dog?

Alright so verdict
Crouch Spin jumping is still in 2 and 3
THE WIGGLE CAN NOW BE DONE WITH THE DPAD AND REALLY BADLY BREAKS HOW FAST YOU CAN GO
You can still get the red gem in snow go before going to the secret area
Don't know if they bothered to make crouch spin jumping with the double jump yet, they removed the ability to start with all powerups in Crash bandicoot 3

Oh, and because you can wiggle with the DPAD you can't really steer while wiggling.

As someone who did not play Crash back in the day despite owning a PS1. I don't really see the appeal. I'd much rather play Mario 64 or Banjo Kazooie.

spoil that shit newfag! You might trigger someone.

The ostritches in the underground of turtle woods drop slower after landing on them, spinning on them does not prevent them from dropping.

Do you still have to avoid dying in Crash 1 in order to get gems or do the boxes counter still reset? Becaus ethat sucks ass

I'll be back in 2 hours to let you know if you can still overload the reward system for 240% in crash 2

Xbox One port then?

Nevermind, Combo reward storage is not in this game.

Also they moved the red gem so you can't reach it anymore.

THOSE BASTARDS!!!!

Pura controls like ass while dashing and you can't clip inside the level to go faster.

I tried a little.

Okay so, the wiggle works on pura now
What the fuck is even this game engine?

I'm glad they removed that.

UNFUCKINGACCEPTABLE

You can break pura and turn off the stage by wiggling

fresh

But far worse art and sound direction

Load times seem to average around Greatest Hits Crash Wrath of Cortex.
Kind of slow but not like, several minutes slow

also they blatantly tell you how to get the Blue Gem for turtle woods on the Loading screen, similar with other stages with multiple gems I presume.

come the fuck on

The triceretops bobs its head only once after reaching a complete stop.

The hitboxes for the explosions of floating bombs is small enough you can set them off with the tail of the jetski and not be damaged, Hot Cocoa may be cheeseable.

CORRECTION
THE TAIL OF THE JETSKI HAS NO DAMAGE HITBOX AND CAN BE USED TO SMASH ALL DESTRUCTABLE OBSTACLES WITHOUT INCURRING DAMAGE
CHEESING HOT COCO CONFIRMED

Certainly. In the same way you can enjoy a book by only looking at the pictures. Someone who can't read can absolutely enjoy certain books.

BUT A FUCKING LITERATURE CRITIC NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO READ.

FUCK these people.

It actually amazes me how they managed to do this so poorly.

sub 2 hour 100% when?

You can still make the frog kill itself in Gee Whiz

The Gap in Tomb Time was widened and you can no longer enter the Purple Gem Route earlier than normal.

Conclusion so far
Vicarious Visions/Activision gives enough of a shit to keep minor skipping techniques in (wiggle, Crouching spin jump) but hates sequence breakers enough to adjust levels so you cannot sequence break in them

I'll be back later to tell you how many useful places you can use a crouching spin jump are left

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What's the name of the phenomena when the more we advance technologically the more brain dead retarded people get?
Me and my sister 100% the first game twenty years ago with it's broken ass boxes system and this guy can't even get trough a game in one afternoon.
I wish i saved that webm from a Crash thread couple of days ago where one of the youtubers designated to shill the game could not jump past the first flight of stairs in the very first level because the concept of HOLDING the jump button was completely alien to him.

it's just people who never learned how to figure things out and instead just want everything pointed out to them, basically people who really don't belong in the hobby what so ever

...

That's correct, it's not like game journos are bad at video games or something.

I swear to god these people go beyond being bad at games. To be as bad as these people are, you have to just be bad at thinking in general. This is DSP levels of bad, where you skip all the tutorials and then stand there because "I don't know what any of the buttons do!"

these people play for an hour if at all because they're too busy writing up clickbaits and networking but they're such useless trash that they need to gate keep as much as possible in order to not be just simply replaced

The IGN guy that gave Sonic lost world 5/10 video was beautiful.
He complained about speed, but never once even mentions the designated sprint button, he complained about controls being unresponsive and then you see him try and jump over a pit, stop his momentum midair because HE jerked the analog stick backwards and falls to his death.

I'm back
Crouching spin jumps are useful(necessary) in 3 Places in Crash Bandicoot 2
The two ostritches in Turtle Woods and Piston It Away if you Bop the electro squid you are expected to back track off of to the Death Route to get the rest of the crates for the level for the standard clear gem.
It's kind of heart breaking to see the sequence breaking utility of this move so badly reduced but still leaving the move in.
And I am unsure if the Wiggle can just Not period be used in Road to Ruin to get the Gem on the Death Route for speedrunning the entire game by wiggling or if I just can't execute sooner to build enough momentum to get on the platform it is on
Why would they go out of their way to remove the utility of this move to this degree but still leave it in is simply beyond me.

I wish they would all end up on the streets. Even when I first discovered these websites in high school I understood these people were not to be trusted because they were bad at games. I bought magazines as a kid but I rarely listened to their opinions because they were wrong. I just had no other way to learn what was coming out.

As I'm typing this I'm just remembering Polygon trying to play Doom and literally stopping to shoot. They're incapable of moving and shooting at once or shooting and aiming at once. I guess their reviewer only has one finger. Must be very difficult to jerk off his industry friends like that.

What is this wiggle everyone is talking about?
I am unfamiliar with this mechanic, by name at least?

Ok so in Crash 1 2 and 3, crash accelerates without limit if you are turning while moving, so by alternating Left and Right on every frame from the direction crash is facing you can travel faster than normal
Basically on a Tas Level it can let you do shit like
On a human level it can allow you to make jumps you would otherwise not make, it's also called zigzagging I think.

that's how it is

I'm completely lost when it comes to the review standards nowadays.
This is a platformer re-made because many fans wanted the return of Crash (myself included), and it gets shit on because it panders to nostalgia fags and is played mostly the same as when it came out 20 years ago.
Hell for a game that isn't "up to today's standards" this is probably a good thing since the new generation will be playing and experiencing something different because they won't be used to half of a game being played for them.
Then another Mario game gets ported to a handheld and gets nothing but praise.

I'm planning on doing a d-pad only run for Crash-One in N-Sanity simply for the frustration and rage the last levels gave me.

I need to see that webm now.

Let it burn and die
redoing the past is proven to be mutilation at this point
look at the detail on the surfaces of EVERY location that isn't mechanical compared to the original. Someone post the footage of the sewers, where there's no pipes leaking water, no grates just flat panels in a bunch of places…

I just hope that this review is an isolated case. I want to see this remake succeed and the sad truth is that normalfags look at reviews.

well I mean that's a single reason towards the Crash 2 remake but still the mutilation of the beautiful environments of the originals is so off-putting. I like the first's mechanical environments, and the detailing on the enemies makes a lot clear. There are things like how the flames of the sewer exterminators in the 2nd one are a lot more clear on where they end.

they just don't do justice to the originals, how much they had to do, the vision, concept art, inspiration. They missed a lot of it and moreover, the PS1 games without a Josh Mancel soundtrack are just
not
the
same.

as someone who had a PS1, you aren't missing much. 2 is the best game and it's only a 7/10 at best.

I was a fucking retard and i didn't save it.
It was absolutely beautiful.

Shit thread, OP.

They still call it shit, though.

Either CTR HD or Spyro Trilogy Remastered.

Shit on me all you want for critiquing this, but am I the only one who thinks the original gives off a significantly better atmosphere than the remake? Everything is oversaturated to the point where lighting is basically irrelevant.

Take a look at these two frames, for example. On the top, we have a dark and ominous figure, that even Cortex is afraid of. Genuinely terrified. By watching the intro you can tell, despite the primitive graphics, that the designers put time and effort into the creation of this scene. It shouts one word: evil. The shadow which surrounds him utilizes the power of suggestion in order to lead the player to believe that Uka Uka's composition is the stuff of nightmares; coupled with the fact that he is glowing fucking red. Black and red are notorious colors that symbolize evil. Not only that, but Cortex's time portal is right under the sky, with countless stars in the distance. This environment combined with the suggested malice of Uka Uka delivers a fantastic representation of how basic lighting and colors can completely shift the mood and tone of a scene.

Enter frame 2. The colors are heavily saturated. From the getgo, Uka Uka is moving all over the place, completely removing that composed villain mystique he had about him. No shadow. No red aura. By far this is the absolute biggest mistake, because it removes the component of fear that he originally instilled in the player. He looks like a fucking 2$ tiki mask you buy at party city; a fucking painting of a clown on a wooden board, not a demonic tiki/aboriginal spirit.
Cortex's representation is also laughable. He looks like he has a fucking headache or he saw a bright light. Nevermind the fact that Uka Uka could fucking annihilate him at any given moment.
To make matters worse, the stars are removed from the scene. For what fucking purpose? If it weren't for the water in the scene you'd think it was literally just a room with a purple fucking dome on it. Such simple yet significant mistakes can largely fuck over how you portray your characters.

The worst part about is that this lack of attention to detail carries on into other parts of the game, especially in the level design.

Please I need CTR HD in my life, there can't possibly be a way for them to fuck that up, r-right?

to be more accurate

Yeah this looks pretty bad. It's like most 3d modelers and animators now just think "more color and more wobble = more gooder!" and call it day.

Of course it does. Crash is a flagship example of a game that was designed around the PSX's limitations. Just adding 'more' to it does nothing but fuck the art direction.

Yeah it's fucking horrible.

And the music doesn't sound as good either. It lacks the punch of the original. I don't understand why they couldn't have just re-mastered the original's soundtrack or get Mark Mothersbaugh to come back and supervise on its' re-recording.

It will crash with no survivors.

I actually kind of like the remake in your embed.

It's not the 90's anymore, teehee. There's an arbitrary time limit on how long a mechanic is fun for. Everyone knows this. Come on.

the state of games journalism and whats expected in a game

apparently if you suck at a game, you still should win despite lack of even trying

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Holla Forums predictably takes the opposite position of journos

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make new content, your strategy is failing

Holla Forums is all the posts I don't like minus the posts that go against the point I'm making.

Holla Forums is one person is the epitome of "old content"

The funny thing is the game gets easier if you suck ass (more checkpoints appear, you start getting free masks and shit). If that's not enough then you should probably just kill yourself.

I agree absolutely about the general atmosphere. Graphically the game is all over the fucking place and the music seems to be that way as well.

What is it about this thread and attracting shitposting faggots?

This is from before they went down the cinematic route and the remake has literally zero Naughty Dog involvement, if it actually did then this would be getting nothing but praise from hack journalists.

Completely serious here, can someone enlighten me what's so appealing about Crash games? They look no different than today's endless runners on mobile.
Mario 64 pretty much gave the standard for 3d platforming, with big open maps and complete freedom of movement. Why, after playing that, would you want to go back to running in one direction on boring-looking tracks? If you want that, modern Sonic games have you covered with added fast speed and visually diverse maps, which still offer more movement freedom than Crash.

So you have never played them? Why don't you find out why people like them?
emuparadise.me/Sony_Playstation_ISOs/Crash_Bandicoot_3_-_Warped_(E)/51933
pcsxr.codeplex.com/releases/view/111309
Might as well stop playing 2D games or games that don't give you complete freedom of movement because 3D games like Mario 64 exist! Except Sonic as you said because reasons

What's next, the theme song is outdated because it doesn't have vocals sung by a tranny?
>(120) in the tab title when there aren't even new posts in the thread
what the fuck codemonkey

Journos should stop being so predictably wrong about everything.

The funny thing is that none of the trilogy is remotely difficult unless you're going for 100% completetion. With the except of Crash 1, which still showers you with enough lives to blunder through everything and still win.

Not all 3D platformers have to be about exploration. Sometimes a tightly designed obstacle course is fun. I don't know much about endless runners, since I don't play a lot of mobile games, but it's my understanding that those games are randomly generated, and generally cheaply assembled and pretty sparse on content and variation. You also have touch screen controls to deal with, which isn't my thing.
Wait, how? Those games are borderline on rails. Sometimes literally on rails.

Notice how he abandoned the thread user, that guy is a (1) and done case.

I'm back
The reason they tell you how to get the blue gem on Turtle Woods is they didn't bother programming in the 0/0 gem crate at the end after you pick up the clear gem.
On the one hand this means now you can get both in one go, on the other it means they were too lazy to put that check in.

Jesus Christ at least no one takes these guys seriously anymore.

Keep in mind that when development on Crash started, there were no 3D platformers on the market. No one knew what a 3D platformer "should be" yet. Under the circumstances, they did a pretty damn good job for the time. Spyro the Dragon (which I agree is superior) had the benefit of looking at existing examples on the market to study, as well as using engine code from Naughty Dog so they didn't have to start production entirely from scratch. Spyro 1 was out during the time of Crash 3.

Spyro was a fucking shitty game for 5 year olds starring a ugly ass gay looking purple dinosaur. Seriously, fuck that gayme.

LOL

How long till fucking Kirby gets compared to Dark Souls?

If the current trend continues like this, 2-5 years Provided they either make a good kirby game in the future, or for some fucking reason, play one of the classics

How long until Armored Core gets compared to dark souls?

Fuck off retard.

He's right though. The Playstation was marketed at normalfags, it was a breakthrough because it marketed vidya like hip things. Nintendo and SEGA would squarely sell to kids, via their parents: Sony had David Lynch direct their commercials, to make sure that young adults would spend their own money on it.

Of course you don't know, only the over 30s have any idea of the way vidya changed between the arcade age, the console age and the internet age. But you don't care, because all that matters to you is shitty memes that marketers feed you with.

You think I forgot this powerful oscar worthy advert directed by David Lynch?

this is some weird shit. when you start the game a menu pops up. you have to agree to the software license agreement thingy

You don't own this software goy, we can take it from you at any time.

It also helps that it was cheaper than the competition and it didn't have any negative stigma attached to it as what happened with the SEGA Saturn.

But the real killer when it came to selling the system wasn't that the games were marketed as a hip thing, it's that the video games were combined with the hip things. Electronic Dance Music is your thing? Here's wipE'out". Now you get electronic dance music while you play your game. You like those spy thriller movies? We got Syphon Filter and Metal Gear Solid. Now be the spy you want to be. You like arcade games? Namco's got you covered. If they don't, then there's probably someone else who's got you covered, like SNK, Midway or Capcom. Want the football games with the licensed teams? We got FIFA. We heard you like simulators, so here's Gran Turismo.
Sony took many hip things and people put them into games, allowing anyone to find a game not too far out from their interests and get into the groove of playing games.

It's something that's never brought up on Holla Forums, because most are underage and the few others are busy with present issues. But the release of the PS1 had many points on contact with our present situation.

Gamers of old would resist adopting Sony's platform, because it reeked of casualization and outsider takeover. It was self evident that the massive marketing campaign for the Playstation would have brought some kind of new monopoly, and that ultimately happened. This also happened when Microsoft entered the gaming market, and PC users feared a new dishonest monopoly emerging, just like Windows'.

Crash Bandicoot would have probably been called a forced meme, in today's speak. Overnight, gaming magazines and tv commercials started boasting about this new Playstation mascot. It was made to draw new players in: Crash shows emotion, he's having fun, unlike Mario and Sonic which are fundamentally silent heroes. But you can't just recreate Mario artificially, memes aren't born that way, and early reviewers lamented that despite all the personality, Crash was weighted down by his role as a Mario killer app.

Crash was never thought of as Sony's mascot, he was never officially considered as such.

For anyone with no frame of reference to understand how hard the Playstation was shilled, imagine Skyrim's marketing campaign if it went on for nearly a decade. They had ads in Playboy ffs.

They're using replay data for ads.

so they arent just pulling some jew shit like is saying?

As far as what I read in the agreement, no.

I was too young for the Playstation stuff I just wanted one because it was the cool new thing. When the Xbox came out though I remember everyone being really fucking hesitant because at the time MS was seen as the epitome of an evil corporation that is a monopoly. It didn't happen though the original xbox was a pretty big failure.

The playstation though is the reason why video games became the popular trash that most mainstream games are now. It made "mature" video games and actually marketed towards teenagers and adults.

...

I beat Star Fox's middle route when I was 5.

and cinematic trash like Metal Gear and FF7 were marketed as the future of gaming, and you dumb faggots fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

Wrong, that was Nintendo. When SEGA decided to re-brand the Genesis with their upcoming and soon to be a hit Sonic The Hedgehog, they went through a full face change, Nintendo was boring and safe, SEGA had all the adrenaline-fueled games with edgy titles, it had uncensored Mortal Kombat and even pioneered a rating system so mature games could have a place in the market. If it wasn't for SEGA games would probably be very different today. You should read this which there's probably a PDF for it somewhere.

Sony merely followed a trend when it was SEGA that had opened the floodgates, not like anyone here is informed enough to know.

It's a good thing gaming journalism is dying, the only issue is that people still go to Metacritic to see a games score and see the averaged out score, I am so happy that Steam decided to use user reviews over kike journalist reviews.

If they were smart they wouldn't have a "career" in journalism, let alone videogame journalism. I can't think of a more useless job.

Its like poetry.
This just reinforces Senator Armstrong as one of my all time favorite final bosses.
I wish to some day be every bit of the nano machine infused bad ass he is.

I'd wager the hebrews are behind this.

The majority of games today can be played without having to look at a tutorial.
Give any new AAA "game" to a child and let him dick ariound with it for 10 minutes without the tutorial and he'll udnerstand most mechanics.
Those "journalists" are mosre stupid and have less patience then a child.

That joke doesn't work unless there's something Christmas related.

Sure, but people like Phil will just genuinely not even try. Just hit the buttons to see what they do if you absolutely have to know right then.

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You really are an underage faggot. Microsoft may have lost money on it, but OG Xbox was still 2nd place that gen.

You really are an underage faggot. Microsoft may have lost money on it, but OG Xbox was still 2nd place that gen.

No shit he doesn't try. If he did he wouldn't stand out among the other billion youtuber faggots.

Don't get your history from shit sites like Hardcore Gaming, they make you stupid. Mortal Kombat was released late in the 16 bit generation: its censorship by Nintendo made news and was relevant to that company's future moves, but wasn't part of the marketing for either SNES or Genesis. Whose launch and first years titles were kid friendly and had their root in arcades.

Most importantly, Mortal Kombat was part of the fighting game craze that hit the arcades after the release of Street Fighter 2, which had the SNES as its platform of choice. Which marked the tipping point in favor of Nintendo's brand. You might argue that SEGA was always marketed to edgy preteens rather than actual children, but it's a moot point since they're still not paying young adults.

Cheaper to let some unkown intern or "artist" work on it then to put actually effort into it or get someone competent.

You are fucking retarded, I mentioned the uncensored release of Mortal Kombat as one of the reasons why SEGA was considered the more mature platform over Nintendo and it greatly helped with their public image back in the day.
I never go there, talk about making faux arguments to undermine your opponent in an argument.
That is why I said RE-BRAND, because the company went under a change of CEO during 90/91 and the new NoA CEOA at the time helped with his team creating the new image of SEGA that was propelled by edgy Sonic.

SOA*
FUCK I DIDNT MEANT TO SAY NOA

I payed a visit to halfchan the other day. They were unironically calling Banjo Kazooie the Dark Souls of platformers.

I thought that was only in NA worldwide I thought it was dead last. Either way it was still really close and neither of them broke like 25 million and the PS2 was over 100 million so they were both failures.

jesus christ, DSP is like fucking FATAL1TY compared to these fucking NPC people, at least that faggot actually keeps playing and trying to play the game despite how awful he is

Come on I think you were trolled nobody is that casual.

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