Weekly Semi-Anual Crash Retold Storytime

ALRIGHT ANOTHER CRASH RETOLD
First, that (150) sperg in the Touhou thread, now this.
This was a good birthday.

Why?

happy birthday, user

Oh boy.

Happy birthday

What is this autists justification for not taking the robe off or even talking to the guy before tossing him out the window.

OH shit

I should have known from the title, but could use a plot that's not from a Netherrealm game or DBZ?

*could he

Welcome to Crash Retold newfriend

w h o ?

I'm ready to suffer
I like how he gives shadows to Crash's clothing and nobody else's

...

>Teen Anthro
Oh my fucking god now i'm starting to remember all the fucking cringe

LONG TIME NO SEE

...

I gotta see this, happy birthday.

Why is Cortex black?

And with this, we start our new journey.

wew
let the 'tism wash over you, lads

The more I see it the less I want to remember.

...

Right there with you.

...

He was wrong about Yokai not eating people they do, so he autistically screeched as loud as he could and copy-pasted his posts over and over. didn't help that someone posted cp and he said that's what the Touhou fanbase does His last post before he was banned was directed at me for saying that he should be filtered before he derails the new general.

The sixth panel is just an unrelated picture with incoherent lines smeared across it. How can one person be so completely devoid of any talent?

...

Why though?

...

So was Evil Crash Ayodolf Hitler

YOU CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING!

THAT FUCKING T.
Now i remember why this was my favorite arc. It was the most autism-packed of all.

...

...

megamix is one classy fellow

...

...

...

I am 100% percent certain he is not using that word correctly.

...

Why did his hair turn purple. Did he go Super Crosserdog and no one noticed?

Loving all the effects in this battle.

Considering that stuff tends to happen off panel, probably.

...

oh boy and we haven't even gotten into the real autism

...

Where have I seen that before?

SHOCKING REVEAL

Naruto

reeeeeeee that made me read this like a manga

I found this to be the most boring arc of all to be honest, it was a pain to get through. Also If Im not mistaken this is when he got photoshop or something, it may have been last issue but I think it was this one.

What is the entirety of this web comic for 200 dollars Alex.

I was thinking on Masquerade from Bakugan but that works too.

I…i can't process the fucking plan.

The others were fun though, this is a bit of a slog.

He now begins to understand now, he begins to see the true pain.
SHES STILL FUCKING WHOLE AFTER BEING NUKED

That's literally what Joker did in Injustice. So this time it's not SSC's retarded writing, but DC's.

What?

so a nuclear explosion went inside her mmmmhhhh not what i expected

That's exactly what i don't get. How the fuck is her body is still intact after a nuclear explosion..

literally who

wew

What's even stranger is how he went through the entire "implant the link into Julia's heart and have drugged Crash kill her" shit when he could have just BLOWN UP THE NUKE WITH A REMOTE. It's like the remote in was harder to make than a fucking nuke.

...

...

...

...

...

There was an user who wanted human Derukui to return so, there you go.

...

...

...

...

Nigger Cortex is best Cortex, apparently.

We don't even see them fight? He's more wooried about showing off his stupid OC donutsteel characters than the story.

WE AM MUST DO SOMETHING! BIZZARO CORTEX NO.1!!

Blah blah.

It looks like all the characters in this world are worse. You'd think working for a power-crazy dictator would improve their fighting skills.

Well, that's actually a pretty easy explanation. If they were actually a competent threat, SSC's merry band of OCdonuts would face a serious challenge.

Regardless, the fact that Cortex, the whipping boy of the series, managed to own any of the OC's is a feat in and of itself. Even if they're weaker than usual.

Nice fucking plan Coco

He just basically put Cortex in a death sentence and nobody bats an eye, even when they know Crash forgave him in the past.

...

Shia Leboufe would be proud.

I'm gonna stop here for the moment. We still have to go through 200 pages more for this shit and i need to sleep. Tomorrow we're going to have more people anyway.

...

He finally had a stroke.

Which explains a whole lot.

...

That was me
but she was cuter in the first retold or I have stared too deep into the autism abyss

Julia's spots look like tits grew over her body and were cut off. or mouths sprouting all over her because the comic itself is screaming at its own existence

When are we going to start up this dump again?

Now we are.

Let's finish this shit

Once again the legend continues…

wtf Tiny.

...

Really intense yo.

jesus christ how many ocs are on this island

I am unfamiliar with this format.

More than there are grains of sand on the earth.

I'm actually digging the senran kagura clothing on coco.

send help

t. black science man

...

...

Are we sure this isn't being written by Bizzaro?

Is there an upload or something with every single page? There's so much shit I always find these threads when they are in the middle of the whole franchise and not at the start.

You're missing the whole point. That's how storytimes roll. Just analize the autism of every single page.

wew

Please don't call it that.

...

...

Is his brain just broken?

You know I like Liquid Crash, he's far more amiable than Solid Crash

Literally who

Well, you know what I mean.

But I want to have access to every single page in a very easy way. I could join the threads! What about uploading everything?

...

Each page has at least one grammatical error, or misplaces sentence structure. Can he just not speak English?

The beams look like hairy arms.

Holy shit get ready for some bullshit

Goddammit

hes breaking the fourth wall to say something that doesn't make sense

I'm telling you, he can't speak english.

...

oh no

English is not my main language and even then I don't make these mistakes.

EVERY FUCKING TIME

You can right books on the state of this guy's mental health.

Is this your first time seeing this? Well get ready because it gets so much worse.

no it isn't, but everytime I see it it makes me mad.

Fucking lord

I was wondering why every explosion looks like a cloud of shit but it must be cause they are caused by giant asspulls

One of these days Carlos.

...

...

Do you guys think that the remakes/remasters/whatever of the initial Crash trilogy will have an impact on this guy?

That never occurred to me.

He's planning to finish a digimon comic first

...

This plot man.

...

...

It's almost like whatever is writing these isn't even human. Like an alien insect that tries to mimic human behavior, but doesn't grasp the subtleties.

Woah, did the thread died?

thread is alive

My bad.

Grenades are sentient.

...

I'm shocked too, super bandicoot 2 just seems like something they do as a warm up before they go super bandicoot 3 pretty much immediately

I don't really remember if they go SB3 in this arc.

...

I'm a fan of these retarded fighting scenes.

...

He looks so sad.

...

GOKU

I'm gonna keep going until the thread dies in like some minutes.

...

...

>DEATH BUBBLE

...

Does the fedora have powers?

It's obviously one of Goku Bandicoot's good Horcruxes.

dead?

Jesus he can't even draw a sphere

This can't be happening

Come back talemaster! We need more of, of,this. Whatever you want to call this.

If talemaster 2.5 is still gone tomorrow night, then I can finish the yarn. As of right now, I need to sleep.

Unfortunately… that's an actual Hal Jordan quote from the Injustice game.

Is Talemaster kill? How can we live on without knowing if Crash defeats the bad Crash?

I love these. Every time we get one of these comics, I get more reaction images.

post it mate

I am at work right now, so if it isnt posted in 10~12 hours I'll continue
I also have the "Ressurection Evil Crash"

This Talemaster was terrible, filling to dump the full comic in not only one day, but two.

*failing

AS PROMISED

all those failed experiments in that universe

...

Brace yourselfs for some more of those epic fight scenes and special effects involving a jellyfish, a pile of shit and pudding

Wasnt his name DeathSlade or somethin?

where are the transformations and swords?

...

I have to wonder, does the OC creator (I assume its someone else than autistcoot) have a thing for Megamix? Or was Stephs creator jelly and wanted Cortexy for itself?

I am 99% sure that you are correct in that guess. Thanks for picking up after the original Talemaster flopped by the way.

And we're back in the Retold dimension.
Notice the stark difference in quality between the two last panels

I know it's stupid complaining about this specific thing when the entire thing is an Injustice copy, but why.

Also, when the fuck was Not Piccolo introduced in this, these OCs come in and out as they please.

NEVER GO TO THAT SITE
NEVER GO TO THAT SITE
NEVER GO TO THAT SITE
NEVER GO TO THAT SITE

Chapter 7 of 13
gee I hope I can finish this today

I know it's a bad habit, but reading this aloud to myself is an even better gaming experience.

Best girl vs furry best girl

...

You can really feel the emotion and intensity of that scene come through to the reader.

...

say what you want about cortex-san, atleast he doesnt give up!

I still don't understand why one is a disgusting furry pegasus thing and the other is Mikasa with an eyepatch.

eh, I am allergic to this kind of bull

more ms paint tiddies

Go ask it

Panel 1 and 4, he cant even be consistend with the some simple clothing

this page

I just realized that this fucker is dressed like the Sniper from TF2.

I know, at this time and on a tuesday? Lets just get this over with.
And with an action filled last frame, chapter 7 ends

Have some extra autism

Wait… is this shit still ongoing or you guys are posting old stuff for nostalgia and keks?

Both, although the nostalgia aspect is lost on me because I'm going into this completely cold.

And chapter 8 begins gloriously

fuck if I know. All I have left is "Ressurection Evil Crash", but apparently the autist has a lot more

...

...

that fucking everything there, it just gets better wit every view

...

...

I feel violated with those ms tidies shoved into my face

...

A NEW CHALLANGER APPEARS
I wonder who this could be

...

...

...

I cant remember Kaz to ever appear again. Did he seriously just create a shitty OC so he could just copy the fucking plot without inconveniencing himself just a little and make some adjustments or just drop that fucking part?

End this poetic page ends chapter 8 of 10

Bonus autism: the creator

...

take your time to enjoy the artistic mastery of this page

...

Guess Dragon guy/Shazam/Captain Marvel's going to die soon.

...

but first, more tiddies

the author know his audience

made a typo earlier: we are at chapter 8 out of 13

*at the end of chapter 8

fucking shit, the way I write I could make this fucking "comic"

Still, need to keep the pace if we want to finish this at all

...

...

How the flaming fuck are there 4 more chapters when the actual Injustice game was almost over at this point.

And this marks the end of chapter 9 / 13

Bonus autism!

I would've much rather remained an ignorant newfag than be exposed to this.

...

embrace the autism

for those who have a hard time following: panel 5 both are Steph.

I like to think it's ironic

...

...

more dirtpiles and pudding

L-lewd

...

...

...

...

Oh I didnt notice, but for some reason we're at chapter 11 now

Bonus autism!

My head hurts just reading this.

I think it's well past irony and far into pathology.
In either case, it's a valuable lesson never to underestimate human capabilities.

...

i definitely need a shower after this

OH MAN THAT INTENSE FIGHTING

...

I know i am going faster than the other talemasters, but I just want this to be over with

...

I always have to tripple check, because it feels like I am skipping pages

Holy shit, an entire page without tits in it. Not seen one of those in a while.

...

And thus ends chapter 11 with the reunion of crash and julia and mindcontrolled evil crash
Oh boy, surely we will witness another epic fight

Bonus autism!

and the epic clash between the two mutated marsupials is beginning!
Chapter 12 is also the final chapter, while chapter 13 serves as another epilogue.

With his lover free, our Hero can and antagonist can fight to the fullest
ARE YOU READY?
ARE YOU PUMPED?
ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?
FOR THE EPIC FIGHT BETWEEN CRASH AND EVIL CRASH!?

I was expecting nothing and even this let me down.

Of course there would be more really badly drawn tits.

DUN DUN DUN DUN

ah didnt meant to spoiler

Why are their swords bright pink?

Shit, he is shading Retold Crash's GI but not Regime Crash's clothes

Ah, atleast the final fight is epic beyond any AAA action blockbuster

...

Well, no Retold without last minute Power Ups

fucking flood detection

...

...

a-atleast Regime Crash is using… "his own" attack

...

And thats it

...

i wonder where Derukuis eyepatch went

I said it before and I'll say it again:
After beeing exposed to so much furry autism, any halfassed badly drawn human looks reasonably cute by comparison

...

...

and the final page of the final chapter.
Fin.

if my autism serves me right, Heihachi didnt happen in Regime world, thus Regime Crash was never 'healed' from his Devil Gene

...

Whelp, so much for that.
Looks like I was able to finish it after all, even if I had to rush it. But lets be honest, how many were lurking here? It simply isnt autist saturday.

As for whats next: I aint got a clue. "Ressurection Evil Crash" (pic related) is the only one I have and I dont know if Talemaster 1 will be there this weekend. Talemaster 2 is gone as he proclaimed last time.

I really hate the redesign of Crash's sword. The Pink Buster Sword is way cooler than the shattered faggy Crystal Calibur.

Anyways, thanks for finally wrapping this up, even if this arc is poop.

Why ms paint tiddies but no bandicooters

So in addition to there being a rainbow pegasus dragon named steph, and her alternate dimension twin, There's another unrelated character also named steph?

Is it done? If so I can start downloading it this week. Otherwise we should wait until he finishes it.

So I did some halfassed google digging and found out "The Legend of Crash" is a fanfiction of the creator - I didnt find a Comic Version though.

So if no one has it (becaue it may not exist) I'll just go ahead and post the LOCxCBR this weekend.

disregard this; I risked it and stared into the abyss.
On his DeviantArt he claims the "LOCxCBR" come after some BS he calls "LOC Advent Children".
The direct quote from his DA

So, looks like we have 2 more stories to go.
How does Friday night and Saturday sound? (yuropoor tz)

I'm pretty sure that's another line that was actually from the game.

Friday and Saturday are prime days. Sounds good.

Just make 100% sure you're getting the timeline correctly. Wouldn't want to accidentally skip an arc and miss all the amazing developments SSC puts into this epic :^)

We need a fucking wikia for this guy.
Super Autist Crash (Thats the "official" name of the author now!) has quite a few projects, where I believe only "Nintendos Villains' Revenge" is finished.

So I believe it goes like this:
Crash B. Retold - Retold 2 - Injustice - Legend of Crash (fanfiction.net) - LOC Advent Children - LOCxCBR (finished).

Nintendo Villains Revenge seems to be an offspin. Game Eater appears to be unfinished.

fuck I am somewhat overhelmend with trying to figure out his stuff. If someone has a DevianArt account, go fucking ask him

I believe one of the other Talemasters did, in one of the previous retellings. I don't recall what the order was, but it was confirmed by SSC himself. As long as the thread stays alive for a while, I'm sure they'll come along and let you know.

Is this Tails gets Trolled level of greatness?

this creator's a fuckin trip

As promised