Failed consoles & handhelds thread

One thing I'm not sure anyone has really paid attention to, is that the Switch has a vent for expelling heat at the top of the console.

Smartphones nowadays have some pretty decent GPUs in them, but because smartphones are designed to be as thin as possible, they can't get rid of heat, and can't just run the GPU at 100% all the time.

Even just for that alone, you're going to be getting something that performs better than most phones/tablets you can purchase right now with Switch.

The Switch is already looking to sell more than the WiiU did, given a better launch lineup; but bullshit like paid online will likely leave many displeased with their purchase.
And WiiU owners, who theoretically should be Nintendo's most loyal fans, are already pissed.

Nintendo's probably going to die, but not anytime soon.
It will be a long, slow, and painful death.

Just like SEGA :^)

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A few of the ibuypower were fine for the price, still didn't beat building your own thing .but for someone who didn't want to fuck around with planning a mini ITX build or didn't want to fuck around with building at all it was at-least balanced and not retardedly priced.

Companies like Nintendo dont die. They get bought out or downsized. But you wouldn't know that you fucking reddit kike.

It's a bargaining chip, so Valve can try and hint that they don't need Microsoft. Either it didn't work out so well, or the one Valve employee who gave a shit wheeled his way into the DOTA2 team.

So it has 2 games at launch and will sell 100 units? That is a very low bar to aim for user.

What was the appeal of this ever since the year it was announced I was confused why not get an android device? If it all it does is play android games

Why the fuck did Valve not make some games for the SteamOS? Half-Life 3? Hello? Too busy making skins for CS:GO and dicking around with DotA2 to do any real work, eh?

Jewben is worth 1.5b. Nintendo is worth nearly 40b.

Because consoles are cancer. Valve may not be the based bros they once were, but they still have basic human decency.

Anyone remember about this one?

3DO

Atari Jaguar

Phillips CD-I

Wasn't this basically some weird Linux-based computer with a console form factor basically?

WHERE DA FUCK IS DA OUYO PORN

Love that video. The guys on the couch ended up having a great video recording themselves booting it up.

So no mario galaxy 3 if this happens?

See embed. Sage for double post.

No, but I remember its spiritual successor. Honestly it wasnt bad when I just had a toaster an could easily abuse the free trial demos but cloud gaming just doesnt work in 2011 and it still doesnt work all that well now on Playstation either.

Can't wait for the first reports of cheetos crumbs getting in the machine, ruining the internals, pissing off parents, not being covered under warranty, etc..

I'd be shocked if this thing actually existed in any physical form.

Paid online is for parents who want their 4-10 year olds to play games and not be exposed to the perils of the internet by accidentally clicking on a link or having some creep get off by exposing himself to minors. $15 a month is a bargain for that peace of mind.

The only ones that can merge or buy Nintendo are other Japanese firms. Japan wouldn't allow a 200+ year old brand known throughout the world to be sold to a foreign company. They have some of the strictest laws in the world regarding this.

Making games is nothing compared to the ROI of expanding their store. If you were running a successful business that made over $10 for every $1 spent why would you waste your time on less profitable ventures? Most of their employees would resign in protest if they started making games again.

Had an interesting keyboard+mouse controller.

Pretty much, it still was one of the least terribly thought out failed console.

Where can I buy an ouya and protect her smile?

Ouya probably red pilled a lot of people on silicon valley.

Personally I'm waiting for the idiots who end up pressing both joycon release buttons while playing on the go and end up with the Switch sliding down between them and hitting the ground.

God I need to proofread my posts better.

Please do not actually buy an Ouya.

In 1998 I got a gamcom for christmas with the Batman and Robin game and Willams Arcade Classics. This was my first introduction to games outside of Number Munchers and Reader Rabbit. Fucking Sinistar little BEWARE I LIVE still makes me feel on edge.

They had one on E3 2004, I think. It was a Pentium 4 with 1gb of RAM and a Geforce FX5700, basically.

FUCK YOU THE EMBED FIELD WAS EMPTY

The only good thing that came out of the Ouya was homeless tan.

She's sucking greasy dicks full of rancid smegma for burger money.

Interesting. Wonder if it could have on-par with the PS3 and Xbox 360 with those specs (or perhaps even surpass them)?

Wasn't the main concept of the Phantom that it would rely strictly on game downloads and/or streaming? Seems pretty ambitious for the mid-2000's.

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Jewben is worth $4bn.

Charisma 10

Probably not. Geforce FX chip was weak as fuck, specially on shader-heavy games. Both X360 and PS3 were shader model 3.0 compliant, while Geforce FX chip had a half-assed sm 2.0 implementation

It was supposed to work with downloads only, a pretty bad decision due to general internet connection quality back in 2000's first half. And it would feature the entire PC games library, from old titles to newer ones.

The only thing Infinium Labs would manage to sell was its fancy keyboard and mouse, but only for a short period of time.

Is the N-Gage worth shit in 2017?

Would have been interesting to see how that played out. Would it be a high-detail 2D game? Would it have shitty 3D graphics with low framerate? Or would it have been more of a point-and-click affair like Policenauts or Snatcher?

The way MGS was when it was released on the PlayStation definitely could not have been accomplished on the 3DO without severe compromises.

Do not bully the ouya

Nice looking keyboard, I could see myself using that with Steam big picture mode possibly.

It has a handful of good exclusives, believe it or not.

We really should have had a functional emulator by now, on the bright side the games are easy as hell to pirate if you get a hold of one. The older 'sidetalkin' model is the superior version you weren't going to use it as a phone anyway.

I just watched a video that says this thing is literally melting due to the thing being >50% rubber.

I still think it looks cute.

Any infographic or shit for good games for it?

Pandemonium
Tomb Raider
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
Sonic N
Elder Scrolls Shadowkey
Pocket Kingdom

…and that's pretty-much it.

The Guru Larry video, I'm guessing?

Wrong. You didn't list either of the two Pathway to Glory games.

That is correct.

I kind of wanted one of these back in the day, but they were selling for way too much. Might still pick one up someday if the going rate isn't ridiculous.

New physics? What?

You don't want new physics?

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I'm always amazed when anything this shonky and unimpressive or even just handheld gets past the idea phase, even the 'good' ones are crap.

These scream 'Chinese knockoff'-quality, the Ouya controller looks like it weighs about as much as cardboard bent into the same shape and sprayed silver and the Oton ones look cheap and like they're greasy to the touch.

Nice to see we've got consolewar bait straight outta cuckchan here these days.

Because SteamOS always was nothing but a bargaining chip for Gabe. When he got what he wanted from MS he simply cut down the team to a skeleton crew. Same with their hardware and AR division which were both gutted.

While I agree, I find that more pc games have same screen multiplayer than console games nowadays. Although there aren't really any AAA games that have same screen multiplayer on PC, only serious sam 3 is kinda close to that. But consoles nowadays only have 2 players multiplayer max anyway.

Was she a tranny or just a ugly dyke?

I looked it up. I think the idea is that the console creates video games based on specifications given.

Come on, their hardware is doing pretty damn well between the Vive and the steam controller. The Vive is getting some major upgrades, the steam controller is certainly still for sale as well as having active advertisement, not a sign of it being a complete failure. Perhaps not as big as they may have hoped it to be, but not too bad.
Given valves way of working, steamOS may also not be a complete failure, it probably is in a business sense, but then again, valve probably doesn't mind slow growing as long as they are the biggest player in the end, they have the funds to take their time. SteamOS is probably still under active development, just by a very small development group. They probably mainly worked on getting everything they have to work on linux (steam and all its features, most controllers, their engines). Provide a platform for the other companies to get going on it. If linux did get big for gaming, it would give steam a big headstart compared to competitors. I bet you its still part of long time strategy to convert over people or at least make the space for it to happen, and it likely was never intended to be a very quick market take over.
Valve strikes me as a company who wants to take over the market relatively slowly. Provide platforms for other companies to work with, but ultimately be the one getting a cut of every pie as well as the biggest cut. By having the end product selling platform, they always are the ones choosing the cut they get. Everything else you do is just there to make your platform more attractive.

Sega ran themselves into the ground with overpriced shit that was way out of the range of the consumer even if it was technically superior people did not want to pay premium for a temporary premium experience. They had so many useless expensive addons for Sega systems. Nintendo only did this once with the 64DD unless you want to count the BBSatalite carts

So the disc drive system for the SNES was fuck all then?

Sega CD was good at least, had some shit going for it. 32X really fucked it all up though.

That's the one that's been released like 50 times under different names, right?

Which failed console has the most games worth playing? I believe even on the shittiest, smallest and most obscure consoles there is hope for good vidya.

3DO wouldn't have been too bad if it wasn't so FMV focused, most ports for it are shittier versions with some cutscenes thrown in, they should have used the capacity of CDs for improving the games.

I had an OUYA

wew I think they mean they'll give you 1 asset a month for free, but if you pay you can the actual game

I came here expecting Ouya-tan images. There's only one.

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She was asking for it.

Heh, they outsource that to the community.

Someone post the image of those anons discussing how much dicks Ouya-tan has to suck to pay back all her kickstarter money.

Console in general are far less powerful than the general computer, it's not surprise it's less powerful than the computer it was based off of.

Daily reminder when someone says ANDROID CHIP they mean RISC ARM ARCHITECTURE it's just too long to remember so they say android.

Never released doesnt count for shit, went onto be playstation because sony wanted to jew nintendo out of their own IPs.

Nintendo is far FAR more jewy than Sony, try again Mark.

Don't forget paid sprays

The keys are flat like a laptop's keyboard and it probably has the same membrane switches.

I feel so sorry for ouya-chan, it wasn't her fault her parents were utter scum.

She could at least try to get better.

They actually did release it,

amazon.com/Phantom-Entertainment-Wireless-Keyboard-Lapboard/dp/B00492C1DY?th=1

go look up the playstation joint project and why it fell apart, millennial faggot.

Show them the insides user,

please use archive.is/gaming/2015/07/ars-reader-so-a-guy-walks-into-my-shop-with-an-infinium-phantom-console/

inb4 you think I support sony or something, millennial retard.

shit eating millennial confirmed

How does it feel to be 24 and have no future?

Better than being 24 and never getting your diploma.

the best games are made for consoles. Not everyone is interested in clicking a lot from a distance or clicking on people with a gun on the corner of their screen. PC has very limited appeal in this regard.

Oh boy here we go.

well you can also use inaccurate emulators with an abundance of input lag and play the games 10, 15, 20, 25 years after they were relevant. But if all you want to do is play console games in an inferior state, why fool yourself?

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bait? Sure, but none of it is a lie.

Now the onus is on you to prove it.

Jesus! The controls look awkward as hell with actions taking forever to complete, the guards' vision is worse than the original one, character's anatomy looks strange, when snakes gets to the objective the music simply cuts, there's no victory fanfare.
The only interesting thing is that it incorporates some features from MGS2.

sure, lcd displays, windows driver overhead, windows application interface overhead, usb overhead. That's at best 2ms for display (but this is Holla Forums, so 8ms is more likely), 16ms, 12-18ms, and 10ms. Then comes the emulator itself, which apart from higan/bsnes, very little effort is done on this side to minimize the impact of lag. See, a little bit of studying can go a long way to find you're getting fucked & cucked, son.

Then there's inaccuracy. Does this really need to be discussed? There's at best, 4 or 5 systems with accurate emulation? If you really like nintendo and the PS1 that's fine, but I think it's safe to say there's much, much more to enjoy out there.

And the wait time, well, let's just say you won't be playing panzer dragoon orta through windows any time soon.

hey since the Ouya is dead do you think they could make porn games on it and it becomes a sweet hentai machine

millennials get out

Get a fucking job, kid.

This is literally what a 10 year old would come up with.

no? It wouldn't be better than a phone.

What if they took a PC and made it a console xD
the funny thing is, PC gamers still thinks this works, considering the excitement over the steambox. Problem is always games.

I'm not sure you realised but you know our discussion began with the following:
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and ask you to form another response.

you were strawmanning from the beginning, go back to reddit faggot.

sure, what kind of games do you like, then?

Remember me?

Because SteamOS is basically just Debian with steam pre-installed: it's a regular GNU/Linux distro. Any games that run on any other distro will run on it.
Steam Machines aren't even really consoles. They're ordinary prebuilt "gaming" PCs cosplaying as consoles, but they were so poorly marketed and advertised that I'm not surprised the average person wouldn't know that.

My preference in games does not make consoles games better or worse.

I wasn't strawmanning at all it was calling nintendo jews which they are. Fucking kids.

kill yourself redditor

It determines why you have not come to the same conclusion i have, though.

Steambox failed because valve shat it out a year after they stopped promoting it and had 3rd party PC companies that charge out the ass what the steambox was suppose to avoid designing it instead of making it in house. So we ended up with 13 steam boxes, with only 1 being priced reasonably.

Honestly I don't even know how I feel about it failing. The upside is the steambox probably would have meant even more PC games being console games. The downside is windows will still have their monopoly on PC gaming.

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Few developers make games that are PC focused. Those that do, do so out of a lack of finances or because their game is very much tailor made for PC, such as RTS.

Ouya sounds like a brand of yogurt.

Doesn't mean Devs wont try to force making their game compatible with the steambox if it took off.

The best games come out on console or PC or on handheld. This is the case because a variety of teams make use of the tools available to them, at the time, to create the best games they possibly can.
Virtua Fighter, the original 3D fighter, would have never existed if AM2 never made use of the hardware available to them. Sequels improving on aspects of the engine would have never come about had AM2 stopped with the 1st one. That game started out in arcades, not on consoles, but it eventually trickled down to consoles, yet none of them could truly replicate the arcade experience.
Quake III Arena remains a classic of PC gaming, featuring intense fast paced matches where reflexes and knowledge remain key to survival. Had Internet speeds been slower, the focus on multiplayer would have been a disaster but the team at Id made use of this new technology to create a true classic, one that has oft been cloned multiple times to varying degrees of success. It too eventually reached consoles, but those ports remain forgotten to time largely, save for the Dreamcast port which remains one of the best PC to console ports out there.
Metal Gear Solid is a solid game that has tight controls, amazing atmosphere and (for the time) stunning graphics. The environment was filled to the brim with detail and the bosses remain some of the most memorable of the series. All of this would not had been achieved had the team not made use of the hardware to its fullest extent; not everyone could have thought of using the 2nd controller port to beat a boss.
Whether or not they are on console or PC or whatever, it doesn't matter unless the team make the most out of what is available to them.

it never would have been successful, ever.

that was a nice history lesson I already know about. But lets move up to today.

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If valve didn't totally half ass it and made the hardware in house it might have. Honestly I think they realized how much work it would have taken, just decided to drop it and only released it because of contractual obligations.

We're reaching /k/ levels of anthropomorphism now.

Hey I hit spoiler image Holla Forums what the fugg?

Damn, that response to her comment about "we have a touchpad on our controller" and still not realizing that PS4 (or even the Vita) has one. That's CEO seems really out of touch with gaming.

I see crazy eyes there.

I still remember when they had rename this from Gametrac to Gizmondo because they got sued by a controller conpany called Gametrak.

Also a great point of the Osbourne effect of never announcing better hardware of your product when you still haven't launched your original hardware. I think even the Ouya folks said they were even going to do the same thing.

Today, you can't get games like Total War Shogun 2 or later running on consoles because consoles simply do not have the means to give you all the control you need on demand, in the heat of battle. With computer systems getting more powerful however, grander battles were able to be made on the PC. Creative Assembly made the most out of this new trend in more powerful systems to make grander RTS games on the PC.
It's unfeasible, if not impossible, for games like Darius CS to work in the way that they were originally intended; the super wide screen is an experience that can't easily be replicated on consoles. This isn't to say that they can't work however, but the compromise is lacking in comparison to the original. Taito, while not exactly pushing graphics or items like that forwards, made use of the equipment at their disposal to create a game that made use of its super wide screen to truly stand out at arcades.
Yakuza 0 is sure to turn some heads in the West as it prepares to drop. Through the use of the new hardware at their disposal, SEGA have crafted a game that looks as good as it plays. Through careful refinement of the formula that they made, and by making use of the new hardware, they have pushed boundaries in presentation and in gameplay once again.
Now it's your turn to vouch for your ideas. Step up to the plate.

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All I got. Not all's porn.

Underrated phone

NO
PS3 has geforce 7950 derived gpu core and X360 got something inbetween radeon 1950 and 2900. Not to mention Cell CPUs which were faster than intel Core 2 Duo/Quads, and usually C2D was 4 times faster than shitty Pentium 4's/Pentium D's.

can you repost the link?

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hownew.ru
Creeps get off convincing the child to expose themselves, 8ch hebers would hang around gymnast girls youtube accounts and ask for stretching demonstrations or "fashion shows"

I actually saw an Ouya somewhat recently at a local Bookmans. I'm not sure what's worse: That someone around here bought it in the first place, or that the store was willing to pay the guy money for it to resell themselves.

Is it even still functional? According to this when you boot it up it automatically tries to download shit. When it finishes it asks you to make an account and right after it also asks for a credit card and there's no option to decline any of this

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ouya-tan comics hurt my soul.

I have no clue if it works. I would assume that for systems they'd at least take them to the back room to test out before giving the seller their price, or whether they'll even take it.

UHHHH

BUT NINTENDO ONLY COMES UP WITH ORIGINAL IDEAS, RIGHT?

I just remembered Tamagotchis, but with 76 million sold it's not a failed handheld. Just a forgotten one.

The one in this picture uses the 6502 CPU, same type that's in the NES.

Most parents would be fine with that oddly enough, especially if they do a half decent job of pretending to be a young girl.

And no I'm not aware of what the hebe crowd does. It's not like I can ever tell anyone this fact you've presented without being suspected of doing it myself either.

Technically speaking, a controller that wraps around a tablet existed way before the Switch.

Nintendo did nothing wrong.

I wonder if the ouya's CEO marched recently with other "empowered women" against "oppression".

It is certainly not wrong, just not original either.

**CAN SOMEONE tell me how to disable the thread snapshot key?, every time I accidentally press PrntScr the site wants to save a picture and is annoying as hell.

The option to disable it was removed from the site because fuck you.

Well shit, I hate it since this new keyboard is all cramped and I have those keys on top of the Home and page key group.

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The should have given the Ouya some okay hardware. Like 360 level at least so it could at least run some of the more popular 3D indie games(I don't think the Ouya can even play Minecraft, can it?).

To be honest could anyone have saved this travesty? All it did was play phone games really.

Every time I touch print screen the thread doubles itself and sometimes crashes my browser.

PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY BUY AN OUYA

Notice how on the site their video isnt there anymore otonx.com/videos/.

I'm saying this as someone who's terrible with cable management. That's unacceptable.

archive.is/TtMgD

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But she needs a home! anyone knows a trashcan where I can find her?

Please do not actually buy an Ouya.

Well that would be why its such a suprise move

Dont tell me what to do. Next time I see an Ouya on sale i'm gonna buy her and give her a nice little box with a pillow to be comfy in.

I'll find you, you'll be the only OUYA sale this year so I'll know it's you, and I will bully her until she runs away then I'll rape and murder you so that even if she comes back she won't have a home.

Wrong. The poll was too see what people want, not to decide what to port. It was for measuring peoples expectations, which wore unrealistic

christ

what launch lineup? Switch will have absolutely no games until several months into it's lifetime just when the last landwhale stops playing her pedosexual gay shota elf game and is going to be as revelant as an WiiU

Reminder.

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… I hate you guys sometimes. I didnt even KNOW about this piece of shit in the OP, and between watching the videos and reading about it I'm sitting here laughing to no end… and then.. then i get to the -tan images

Specifically and suddenly I feel fucking horrible about everything in life, like it just crushed my fucking soul and I dont even know why, the "female CEO" (is ti really a woman or just a man pretending?) made me both rage and laugh at her stupidity, and so on.. but then the images, and suddenly I feel horrible for this sad little homeless starving kid who just wants to play with frogs and trampolines and needs a home

I fucking hate you guys

dont worry I'm not actually gonna spend money on such a massive piece of shit

get the fuck out, pussy
You sound like that ponyfag on deviantart who only started caring about the war victims when he photoshopped a pony into a WW2 photo.

You don't buy an ouya, you just save it from a life in the dumpster.

I bought into this meme, I ended up using it as an emulation machine, I replaced it with a nvidia shield this year though.

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Kek.
Holy kek.
Maximum overkek. This bitch is malevolent, she is aware of what she's doing and she just wants your shekels. Don't fall for the female jew.

Amiga cd32

Next time, when I saw console, was at my friends house, few years later. In Poland, we have only PCs.

This was the greatest fail in history of console fails. Even Magnavox was better.

/r/equesting that Law4Kidz edits, you know the ones
You stole an N-Gage, didn't you?

Nothing you mentioned is actually perceptible by the human senses. Reaction time is on the order of 200ms and 99.8% accuracy might as well be 100.

You'd make a fine winetaster or audiophile, though.

Castle Doctrine, and you're not invited! You'll never get close enough to bully her, nerd!

NEWFAAAAAG
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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I owned one of these way back when. They are beautiful pieces of craftmanship/design and were sexy as fuck. The case is all metal and feels cool to the touch.

The website is still up as a memorial.
tapwave.com/

I absolutely detest those fucking shiny black plastic cases, they attract every fingerprint and spec of dust in the known universe.
For fuck stop stop making them.

The lack of Atari jokes ITT is unsettling.

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I might want to buy an Oton a little.

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Do you have any idea how old that gif is?

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Nice. Too much money though. I'd buy it for $30-$40 tops.

Thought Sega fucked themselves over because meddling between the American and Japanese branch.

Also on 3DO:

I'm going to break into your house and trash the place so she feels more at home than you could ever get her.

The M2 would've been pretty neat had it been released. It was pretty powerful, somewhere between the N64 and Dreamcast I'd say.

Like I'm going to kill myself in about 2 years.

If i remember right somebody, i think on assembler games, is said to have one, albeit in a non functional state.

Someone needs to start making a collage of all the"business"women who got on people magazine but fucked up like half a year later.

Is that a fucking bare power supply

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So she wanted this to fail from the start right? Almost every interview seems to suggest she did not want this to succeed.

have you never seen the inside of almost any console?

It was just a case of someone that doesn't understand vidya seeing that it's a multi-billion dollar market and they wanted a slice.

Ouya used a Android OS which is very much plays Phone games the problem is this system didn't offer many titles just cheap ass phone games the only thing it was good for was to play Emulators from NES,Sega Genesis, Xbox and Ps2. No Hard Drive just a USB port that you can use to hack into the thing and make crappy home brew shit.

Gets me every time.

Its more likely that they eventually deluded themselves into thinking they can compete with Sony/Nintendo/M$

I would give her the D though.

What was the name of that Stanford medical graduate who turned out to be a fake

I believe you're thinking of Elizabeth Holmes, CEO of Theranos. Supposedly created a radical new method for blood tests that used a single drop of blood for dozens of tests at once. Then it turned out that all of the tests they did for the FDA were done with basic lab equipment, and their own machines couldn't do shit. Now the company is under investigation, probably gonna get sued by investors, and she's a laughingstock.

I agree with , a collage of these failures would be a wonderful thing to look at.

I thought that watermark said VaginaBeef for a second.

Then I'll just create a rhyme and spread it around all the schools so I can bully her via proxy

OUYA OUYA
LIVES IN A TRASH CAN
OUYA OUYA
SMELLS LIVE A TARZAN
OUYA OUYA
BELONGS IN A BEDPAN
OUYA OUYA
CAPITAL OF THE SUDAN
OUYA OUYA
HER GAMES ARE VERY BLAND
OUYA OUYA
SELLS HER BODY TO A MAN
OUYA OUYA
SHE'S A 'CUMMY' MILKMAN
OUYA OUYA
GOT THE UNIVERSAL PAN

Commercial failure but great emulation device. It was made for piracy.

I want one just for the compact design, but the fact I'm limited to an M2 makes it a hard sell when used to 128gb PSP.

128gb on a psp? I thought it was limited to 32GB.
8GB M2 cards cost less than 10 bucks, having only 24GB isn't too bad.

With adapters, you can push it. Need to do a trick to get it to work if I remember correctly, but it's fine otherwise. Having 70 PSX and fuck knows how many PSP games and ROMs is pleasant.

It was a failure because it was released at a point in time where anybody who was going to buy a PSP already had one and people were sure as fuck not ready for a digital distribution only console. That and they never went ahead with the "If you have the UMD we will give you a digital copy for free" thing they initially planned.

Apple already tried to buy them once iirc.

off the top of my head

I think there are more but these are the more recent ones that come to mind. I think you would have a better time looking at failed politicians and officials. Like hillary clinton, angela merkle and Lisa Nowak who worked for NASA who wore a diaper and drove 900 miles to an airport to kidnap a romantic rival using a BB gun, pepper spray a steel mallet and a black wig.

my saucefu ain't givin' me shit capp'n

Yup, Pathway to Glory is missing, as well as Rifts and the WH 40k game.
I have both N-Gage versions and actually used the newer model as a phone for a while.

Why does Splinter Cell keep popping in my head when I think of it? Was there a shitty port or was there in game advertising for it?

Because it had a port of Chaos Theory.
Not sure if it was any good or not, though given the control scheme I'd be inclined to say not.

That was for Recetta or whatever that game is called where you're playing some merchant girl.

Recettear, game was decent, the people who translated it (Carpe Fulgur) quickly revealed that they were faggots and it is 90% their fault that Trails in the Sky SC took so goddamn long to be released in English Because the "CEO" is a retarded suicidal faggot that can't handle not censoring shit and crying on twitter

Shit games
Physical controls

Excellent Emulation
On-Screen controls, shit peripheral gamepads

Why can't we just have both?
Are the GPD systems any good?

Dunno much about the XD, but the Win is decent enough for what it does, outside Windows 10 and driver fuckups still occurring. Can shove Arch on it to various success if you gave a shit enough.

The GPD Win is more powerful than the shitty half-broken laptop I've been using as a makeshift desktop for six years and doesn't cost more than $500.
It's damn tempting, I'll admit.

I was going to get one myself, but given that there's bad models going around still (capacitors missing so can't play 3D without crashing) and driver/update fuckery (locking down BIOS so can't change shit because freedom), unless you want to work to get it up and running, you'd be safer waiting until shit's all good and clean.

If Nokia would have held off for a few years to allow the tech to get better/more affordable, mobile gaming today could have been very different.

This, stinginess, and a nagging feeling that I should upgrade my battlestation with an actual desktop computer are the reasons I haven't picked one up already.

You could probably build a desktop for the same price and get better shit altogether.

I'd like to spend more than $500 on a desktop so I can at least ensure I'll be able to emulate things without issue and play the odd modern game that isn't shit.
Having said that, a desktop is a desktop and a Win is a portable emulation console with computer functionality. It's like doubling the price for the convenience and portability, but that portability is something I think would be worth paying for.

...

Depends how busy you are user. Unless you're utilizing the portability outside using it on the shitter, it's a moot point. That was the main fact that got me giving a shit about it compared to the rest of the devices. Smach-Z really fucked this up.

It's a sidescroller, actually. And it's fucking shit with super unresponsive controls. You'll find dozens of unopened copies on e-bay.

I spend more time out of my house than in it.
If I could have a comfy desktop-quality computer I could use anywhere, I'd be the happiest person on the planet.

I think that was the case for a number of games and I'm inclined to believe that it may have been an issue with the device itself.
A friend got one because he thought it was going to be the next big thing. I played one of the games he had for it Tony Hawk I think and the input lag was fucking horrid.

I'd say it is an issue of the N-Gage itself, yeah. It's the reason why the turn-based strategy games are pretty much the only games worth playing. The aspect ratio of the screen is also just fucked. I pitty those that bought one when it was new, thinking they'd get something like a GBA that you can use as a phone.

The screen was shit, but it says something that the screen was the least of its problems.

The Alienware ones when you get them for 50% off. They're decent at that price.

I wonder why there are no devices similar to Dingoo A320 availabe now. I wanted myself a small cheap emulation handheld, but no, all you can buy now on chink eshops is either a knock-off gameboy or a big-ass android device that costs more than used PSP (which I ended up buying instead).

Because most consoles are sold at subsidized prices in effort to get you to buy more (new) software titles and making a machine exclusively for emulation doesn't sell games. A machine marketed to people for emulation is essentially saying that the best hardware they could come up with is shit and it's best feature is another DOOM port.

I miss the A320 style scene. It seems everyone from the GP2X and Dingoo sites all went to SJWberry Pi development. They worked miracles on the Wiz to get it to run PCSXR.

First I've heard anyone bring anything like that up related to the Pi, elaborate?

Sauce? Do you have any articles that talk about this?

Basically they decided that anyone who didn't agree that ebin GamerGators are ebil and they don't need to hear the other side. I'll try to look for the archive for their tweet. They haven't explicitly banned anything, to my knowledge, though.

Not that I don't believe it could happen (see Randi Harper and her ilk and the BSD "code of conduct"), I just like to be have proof, since it's easy to throw around buzzwords.

I meant to say "are ebil are ebil". Basically, you agree or you're enemy.

archive.is/cIeSo

remember when the 3ds was being called a flop?

good times

I don't know what you're talking about but you have zero clue about how companies are sold, do you?

Welp, looks like I'm not getting a Pi any time soon. Granted, that tweet was from over two years ago (haha, #StopGamergate2014, fuck you) and it's entirely possible that they changed their mind or don't care anymore, but I doubt it. Once these fucks drink the Kool-Aid, they rarely come to their senses.

The Steambox failed because it wasn't even a console, it was a series of shitty gaming rigs Steam put their brand on. It confused the hell out of people and nobody understood what the hell they were supposed to buy.

They didn't change their mind it's likely they just think they won. If they they don't care it just means they don't think it's relevant and they'll be retarded about something else. Corporations should be nonpolitical.

Steambox wasn't supposed to be a console it was supposed to be a prebuilt comp without the retarded Windows bloat/price tag but Valve let Alienware get involved who jacked the prices up 300% and killed the first line of Steamboxes because of how retardedly expensive they were for the performance they offered and nobody fucking released games for Linux even with Steambox "pushing" for them.

To be fair the average smartphone costs around 300-500 euros against 99 of Ouya.

Except smartphones are subsidized to cost less at once, also run Android, and had far more power than the Ouya. The only thing it really had was that it had an hdmi out and a controller but both of those could generally be fixed by 3rd party products.

My brain couldn't handle that graphic past this sentence.

I'm definitely not defending Oyua in any way m8, just was anal about the price comparison.

The price comparison doesn't make sense in this case because most people have subsidized phones while the Ouya was an additional 99$

I digress, dubs. Sorry.

PS2 emulation is only somewhat acceptable on PC, and Xbox emulation is still impossible. If PC's can't or can barely do it, the Ouya sure as-Hell couldn't, and certainly never will.