JSA Storytime: Transformers

>>114909338It's funny because they all argue with the "I just distrust media and am ciritcal and therefore smart"-bullshit again. I mean I am the first to say you should always check different sources, but this whole the-truth-is-always-the-opposite-of-what-media-says shtick is a really dumb method for making really dumb people feel really smart for no reason and regardless of what other bullshit they come up with. Ironically, at the end of the day they are just as uncritical towards random blogs and youtube channels as they claim everyone else to be towards official news.

>>114909260Speaking of conspiracies, I just finished this documentary youtube.com/watch?v=ObcgG9vjUbsIt's interesting. About nuclear power

>>114908940walkin the dogwalkin the dog

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>>114909483

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>>114909483>We couldn't reach anyone actually related, so we got the next best thing, a wrestler namedI wish the news really was like this

Jazz did nothing wrong

>>114909155I welcome our Scott Snyder helmed DCU. I do wonder what the post Death Metal plans are now. Especially with no Didio and dead 5GI’m excited for Death Metal but I think everyone else here dislikes Scott Snyder Other comic news is bleeding cool ran some blind items which are kinda fun

>>114909483Wait, why are the authorities looking for Jazz? Leaving a bogus interview is not a crime, last I checked. Yes, public opinion is against him at present because he dared defend someone from a homicidal cop, but whatever. Is diplomatic immunity magically not a thing? I'll be honest, I'm finding this plot a bit hard to follow, at least since the Junkions stopped being active antagonists.

>>114909612He wuz a good bot.

>>114909503

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>>114909503I like the two main Junkions they look cool as fuck and are funny.

>>114909677

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>>114909697lmao

>>114909697the dronebot is cute! CUTE!

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>>114909697>>My name is Sideswipe. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation.

>>114909757

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>>114909757Come on Arcee just hug him

>>114909141Calm your man-tits.

>>114909757Optimus would be a LARPer

>>114909430If all the major news outlets agreed to say the world was flat, would these assholes say it's round out of knee-jerk bullshit or agree?

Welcome back everybody. This storytime has been one of the few hospitable places on the internet lately. Thanks for being here.

>>114909822

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>>114909910HI user

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>>114909668"He ran when we called him a murderer and didn't let him speak! He must be hiding something!"

>>114909668>Wait, why are the authorities looking for Jazz?He kinda shot a guy.

>>114909936

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>>114909881Optimus would 100% be super into the rolepaying aspect of gaming. Goddamn, the premise of 'main cast plays D&D' is such a fun and obvious idea, yet it doesn't come up nearly as often as you'd think.

>>114909961

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>>114909981Its super weird now that I think about it that Kitty’s Fantasy Dream Story happened but we never got a Legion DnD issue. They canonically play!

>>114909981Over in the Voltron thread on /m/ somebody was shitting his pants because "D&D episodes are a cheap way for hack writers to score nerd points!!!!!"Ugh.

>>114909981Now I want a Final Fantasy style Transformers RPG...

>>114910024>cesium salamiBERYLLIUM BOLOGNA!

>>114909904Yes. I mean something like this basically happened. It's mostly the same guys who always pretended that fucking Chemtrails and other deadly shit and secret illnesses and such exist and the media was just pretending it wouldn't. But now that the media says a deadly illness is going around they have, on principle, believe the exact opposite and claim it doesn't. As you basically said, it's so stupid and predictable that media could actually control these people's beliefs if they wanted. You would just have to say the opposite of what you want them to believe in and pretend it to be true and they would disagree because smart.

>>114910067Right? We got fucking robbed. >>114910080Actually, a D&D episode is an easy and effective way to deliver fun character interactions, while also indulging in lighthearted shenanigans. Please stop taking the space nazi worshiping elitists seriously.

>>114910024

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>>114910113If they couldn't spread COVID to non-retards I'd sit back and eat popcorn as I watched nature do its work.Nurses should be able to look through people's phones and if too much conspiracy shit comes up just slide those assholes straight to the morgue.

>>114910182how are you owls tonight?

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>>114910080wasn't Voltron's DND ep like the best in it's season?

>>114910179I only take them seriously in that I've seen enough stupidity in my life that I never assume trolling and instead assume everyone's as dumb as they appear to be.

>>114910197Same. I mean in that one rally against the stay-at-home order 75 protestors got infected because they are that fucking stupid.

>>114910182Sideswipe, you should have studied under Bubmlefriend.>>114910227I'm all right. A little under the weather as per the usual. When I get sick I STAY sick.>>114910228I honestly hardly remember that season, but I recall liking the episode.

>>114910227

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>>114910091I think a tactics game like Into the Breach would be better, or a fast-paced RPG like Battle Network.

>>114910227When discussing another companies terms to return to their service to a customer, the customer recorded everything I said, she then said she was going to call the company she wanted to return to without making any changes on the account so she could replay what I had said to her, and then depending on what that company said she would call me back to decide on what to do, later she called me back cause she got a lower level person who had no idea what she was talking about and instead of asking to speak to a manager she assumed I was lying.I'm doing okay.

>>114910227I'm alright. Got through some more Order of the Stick, speaking of D&D. There are some elements that haven't aged well(namely weird running gags such as Haley hating pretty much every other female character, though thankfully that seems to have stopped), but it mostly holds up. >>114910091It wouldn't be hard. TF already has a ton of weird mystical crap that may as well be magic, as well as a shitload of characters to serve as party members.

>>114910272>I honestly hardly remember that season, but I recall liking the episodeI'll grant 'best in it's season' ain't saying so much for that show...

>>114910227I've lived in Texas for 13 years but today I felt like I've just about had enough

>>114908940IMO this was easily Barber's best issue on OP and Sideswipe's single best spotlight issue in his 30+years of appearances

>>114910374I would buy you a beer

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>>114910398That says a lot about Sideswipe after these >>114910347 >>114910227 two pages

>>114910411

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>>114910411Thank you OP, I would do the same for you for your years of service

>>114910435

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>>114910494Oh goddammit...

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>>114910435Now it seems like that's Soundwave's actual face.

>>114910494So they just forgave him for shooting everyone and punching peoples jaws off huh Hey Fixit it there!

>>114910494>Bayverse Skids and Mudflap in panel 1KILL THEM SIDESWIPE KILL THEM NOW

>>114910526Yeah, I didn't want to spoil T_T

>>114910526OH NOI'M SORRY >>114910398

>>114910526F

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>>114910526What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

>>114910494>top panel>femme on the leftUh, the Arcee from Aligned continuity seems to be visiting.

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>>114910574F

>>114910574Aileron would not have dealt well with the Knights of Cybertron, lol

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>>114910574I was wondering why I never heard about Arcee and Sideswipe getting together and wellF

>>114910595Rung damn it Arcee don't be THAT kind of atheist.

>>114910595Nope. She would've had a breakdown,or gone been in deep denial.

>>114910553Honestly dying was the most interesting thing he's done for all his appearances

>>114910595awwwww

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>>114910654

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>>114908928Hey OP.>Dead or alive, you're coming with me

>>114910715

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>>114910838

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>>114909260How the hell are there people that understand telecommunications so little they think cell towers cause a virus?Like 5G is something I'm kind of wary of, but I know it isn't fucking contagious.

>>114910856technology bad

>>114910856The same reason people think coal is cleaner than NuclearThey just believe the first thing people tell them

>>114910856They're the same types who would view the discovery of fire as witchcraft.

>>114910852

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>>114910838Kei Zama kickin' it into top gear, aw ye

>>114910856Ah, but it's not a virus. It's radiation that's being sent out by the libs/Adaptus/sneeple/da jooz to kill those who know The Truth.

>>114910852>Hey, Optimus! The President suddenly decided to get over herself and has agreed to work with the Council! I don't find this suspicious AT ALL, and incidentally, I am high as all fuck on cybercocaine right now! YAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!!!!!! Right, so either this is bullshit, or even Barber is sick of this plot.

>>114910919Lokibot actually looking menacing under her pen.

>>114910978Barber's nonsense could work in an adult swim kind of show.

>>114910918

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>>114909483Which pro wrestler is Jake a stand in for. Jesse Ventura?He's more of the anarchist type of libertarian that doesn't much get play on Faux news.

>>114909612He didn't murder Ramirez.

>>114911030

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>>114911080He was reaching!

>>114911050Jake the Snake, maybe?

>>114911135

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>>114911210Aiight, who's this rando?

>>114911210

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>>114911030>literally calling him the Chosen OneUgh, can we please not? It's been said, but yeah, chosen one stuff sucks. It robs the protagonist of agency since there is there no substantial reason why they participate in events. Also, having Optimus be a reincarnation of one of the Thirteen is lame. Being a guy with beliefs and willing to fight for them is far more compelling than some cosmic destiny crap.

>>114911259Hahaha this dumb shit. Finally.

>>114911263The Starscream as Chosen One has a twist down the line.

>>114910856I don't understand wireless tech at all and disbelieve the media pretty much entirely, but I'm pretty sure 5g towers aren't spreading the wuflu. I heard they could fuck with bees though, but I've heard that said of many things so who knows, probably bee and cell phone experts.

>>114911259There it is

>>114911259>>114911318So yeah, Arcee was GaIvatron's sister this whole time. I don't really think it's dumb, more like 'but why tho'. Galvatron is dead now, so it's not like this can go anywhere interesting, except maybe retroactively.

>>114911259wut i didnt think arcee was that old

>>114911259why.jpg

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>>114911393>sister*brother

>>114911424

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>>114911399No that at least has always been established she was at least hella old. She was experimented on by that one guy who disappeared when Tailgate fell into the hole remember, so it had to be ages before that

>>114911399Yes, so everytime you see Arcee shitting on Optimus is like the pot calling the kettle black but 5 times worse.

>>114909981I really wanted them to play D&D on Legends of Tomorrow after Constantine started talking about it with Gary.

>>114911445I had one lazy ass day today

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>>114911424Exactly. I don't understand the point of this. It might've been a decent idea earlier and would've explained why Galvatron was so chill with Arcee, but now it comes off as a sloppy retcon. Probably because it is. >>114911426Sister. Go fuck yourself.

>>114911503gonna try to go to sleep early and get up before 10

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>>114911445> all these primes just chillin' in a steel thatched hutok now you lost mewhat the fuck

>>114911534Keep that in mind, it's explained later

>>114911532

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>>114910227Disappointed in how much I got done this weekend. My backlogs remain unattacked for the most part.

>>114911573

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>>114911445Alchemist Prime is an alcoholic

>>114911623my hero

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>>114911682

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>>114911735>Giant Robot!>With Birdlike Head>Giant Robot!>He is a friend!

>>114911735>Chela and Metrotitan were a thingNobody tell Metro about Starscream...

>>114911735Chela and Metrotitan were a couple? Huh.

>>114911735

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>>114911831

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>>114911853

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>>114910396I don't think you can run far enouh to get away from the stupid, I'm sorry to say.I mean, you'd at least not escape Ted Cruz.

>>114911894that doesn't look like Rung at all

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>>114910856People with access to the internet think vaccines will fuck you up and the entire world conspired to take down one man. People do stupid shit out of fear and ignorance.

>>114911894Doesn't look anything like Rung

>>114911922FUCK YES

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>>114910494Ah fuck, the Bayverse Wigger twins, this is the Skids we end with?

>>114911831

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>>114911831Gotta love how Megatronus looks like a non-shitty version of Bayverse Megatron. >>114911853Huh, Alchemist really IS an alcoholic. >thay keep referring to Alpha Trion as 'Storyteller'This is fucking with me far more than it should.

>>114911922>>114911933Cute that they made it look kinda like the Shroud of Turin.

>>114911894Ah yeah, the tragedy mask

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>>114911623They made him a bartender and gave him a new name in Cyberverse

>>114911956See the jokes on her, DOC can speak dog and translate.

>>114911956Based on what I've seen of most humans in these books...the dog is the proper choice for Earth's representative.

>>114911853>logicalwas this guy shockwaves teacher or something

>>114911956

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>>114911956President Lump gets more realistic with every page.

>>114911512It's not Arcee's fault that Jhiaxus had a genderbender fetish

>>114912033

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>>114912064

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>>114912033So I mean, Marissa as the Rep is probably a good choice. But it's not nearly as funny.

>>114912111

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>>114911956Unironically fluffy and woof-pilled.> "The representative of earth please take the floor"> "It appears the representative is chasing his own tail"> "CLEARLY THE REPRESENTATIVE OF EARTH MEANS TO MAKE A FOOL OF US, IMPLYING WE ARE ARGUING IN CIRCLES!">> war were declared

>>114912033Pushing a clearly more qualified dog aside for a human. Damn speciest...

>>114912136Optimus is such a goddam chad he can cuck Thundercracker without even trying...

>>114912125She's a G1 character, of course she was gonna get that seat. Here's the thing, I actually like the idea of Earth being part of the Council of Worlds. In concept. The writing has been, well crap, if I'm being perfectly honest. >>114912034Seriously, what is with that?

>>114912194Buster, by his own admission, is not a politician.

little did they realize that in an alternate timeline buster was the earth representative, eventually rising the the leader of the council and ushering in a new golden age under buster prime

>>114912218Yeah, not counting stuff by Roche and Roberts this is still above what I expected for a Transformers comic though

>>114912136

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>>114912239Buster is a girl dog.

>>114911165But Jacob the Snakob was still in full "messy dying alcoholic recovery" mode.>>114911135Barber's been building towards this, and fuck him for it.

>>114912281

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>>114911424Aggressive backtracking on making Arcee a Trnasgender abomination before the then current writers, and the large female fanbase, came aboard. I think.Honestly, after they stopped working her like a deranged serial killer, Arcee was fine.

>>114912503>Honestly, after they stopped working her like a deranged serial killer, Arcee was fine.Agreed

>>114911503>Hey, here, take a third robot SatanThis is getting outta hand.

>>114912425

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>>114912572

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>>114911573Giant alien robot peasant dirt farmers is a silly idea.

>>114911735>Metrotitan fucked the birdHow?

>>114912683magic of robocock

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>>114912553You get a robot Satan! And YOU get a robot Satan!

>>114911894>>114911853Knowing the twist here just makes this piss me off.

>>114911853>Dark Cybertron Prophecy >Scoop believed this shit

>>114912756It kinda makes sense, you've got Megatron dropping out of the villain game, and Starscream playing dirty politician, what better time is there to bring in a new/old villain that could come back around next time and get you some sweet royalty money?

>>114912136Which Transformers should go well in the Swimsuit special along with TC and Marissa?

>>114912893Shockwave, Bumblebee, Megatron, Starscream, Nautica, Overlord, and Verity.

>>114912893Rodimus

>>114912693Goodnight, OP, thanks for running?

>>114912693Thanks for running OP!

>>114912693Thanks, ST! Until we shitpost again!

>>114912693WHOOPS FEW MORE

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>>114913177lel

>>114913177

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>>114913197can't even blame vodka tonight

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>>114913287THANKS ST, bless you

>>114913287What matters is you tried and you're here with us

>>114913382>>114913369I LOVE YOU ALL WE'LL READ WHATEVER IS NEXT ON THE LIST TOMORROW

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>>114913287Tequila it is.

>>114913437I fucking wish

>>114913420

>>114913420Thanks storyteller. Long nights are cold, lonely and boring but these threads have been giving me something to look forward to while lockdown's got my internal clock spinning like a broken compass.Thanks for the stories and please keep doing what you do.

>>114912176And so the universe was saved.