Weekly Holla Forums creation thread

Or /coc/ thread if that's what you look for in the catalog.Wiki:the-conservatory.fandom.com/wiki/The_Holla Forumsnservatory_WikiPast threads:desuarchive.org/co/search/text/the-conservatory wiki/type/op/

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Other urls found in this thread:

boards.plus4chan.org/coc/t50663.htmlLast
youtube.com/watch?v=9LBSNTHre74A
pastebin.com/JaMSQ8FJGive
docs.google.com/document/d/14Fo9aexcIeI3KbEV3f0_0NLu2fyS1xOgr-Umri9zawU/edit?usp=sharing
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>How does this work?>It works like a community toy chest. In the /coc/ threads you are free to post whatever ideas/settings/characters you want, but you have to be OK with other people playing with them (tweaking them, putting them in stories, using them for things, etc.)>There's no guarantee that what you post will catch on either.>If the OC you are posting is YOURS for something you are personally doing, then it would go to the "How is your webcomic?" threads.>If you just want feedback on an OC of yours, then it would go in the "donut steel" threads or drawthreads.If the thread dies suddenly or you still want to discuss something when there's no thread:boards.plus4chan.org/coc/t50663.htmlLast time:-Locations-Old stuffNot much going on last thread.

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The talk about Colette's arms in the last thread made me think of something: Colette Evergarden>"I understand what 'Holla Forums is love means!'">shot of Conrad walking through market crowd before vanishing.

>>114874938>Locations>Marley, check it out. I did some science to me arm cannon, and now it's also a real gun! I've got a real gun, Marley!We need more /coc/ Australia

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>>114875286Let me know if it is tasteless to suggest that a fuckton of ifrits got summoned there by cultists.

>>114875144But we already have a travelling postal worker girl who wears elaborate dresses and has a dead-pan delivery.

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>>114875954I thought the point of this place was to be tasteless, now how tasteless, that's a different thing. What are ifrits? How would they relate?

>>114876245Ifrits are fire demons.

>>114876317Ok, you meant tasteless for the recent massive fires in Australia. I dunno, it's weird when comics tackle recent issues, but it could be done right, like the Marvel 9/11 comics (except for the Doom and Magneto crying panel) but even those came 5 years after the fact.Poison Dart and company going back to Australia to serve as volunteers, could do for something dramatic, and it doesn't drift off the main idea to have giant monsters and cryptids, in reference to Australia's notorious fauna. But again, I dunno.

>>114876894It's not worth pursuing the line of thinking if it's not entertaining.

>>114877324Yeh, you are right. I just think about it in terms of a one-off, Marley and Salli fucking around in Australia during the summer, drinking, kissing dudes, maybe fighting a secret regime of intelligent spiders. And what about Limited Run? I would love to see more of that as well.

>>114875144I don't understand

>>114877555Limited Run is open for anyone to write a story for.They just need to be self-contained one-offs/shots.

>>114878254He referencing Violet Evergarden.

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>>114878337Ohhhhh

Do you think the rest of the Iron Impostor saga will ever be drawn?

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>>114879085One of the few ways I've observed to really crank up a thread's activity is to post GG stuff.I just want to reconfirm if that still works.

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Who would you add to participate in a Puzzle/Pocket Fighter-style game and what would their arc be?Hard mode: add another playable character that would be the arc's big boss fight

Holla Forums help me out i don't have any ideas. What should I draw today?

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>>114879085>>114879103God, I love how many old-timey comic plotlines this follows. It's great

>>114880157An alien?

>>114880495I'm just wondering if the rest will ever be drawn.

>>114880813Maybe, maybe not. Time tells all in the end

>>114880813ngl it's getting harder and harder to want to sift through the casual racism, the wojacks, the culture wars, and all the other bullshit of 2020 Holla Forums to find these threads every sunday (and the move from saturday didn't help) much less create content for it.But maybe in June? That's GG's birthday and when those comics got made last year, after all.

>>114881084>ngl it's getting harder and harder to want to sift through the casual racism, the wojacks, the culture wars, and all the other bullshit of 2020 Holla Forums to find these threads every sunday (and the move from saturday didn't help) much less create content for it.Just bookmark the desuarchive link and refresh it on the day

>>114881084I just use the catalogue and search for the thread I'm looking for.You don't even need to look at any of the other shit if you don't want to.The site is radically different in terms of usability than it was eight years ago.

>>114881120>>114881156I meant more that trying to come up with new /coc/ content feels like trying to put a fresh paint job on a house that's on fire but since I guess it's just me, forget I said anything.

>>114881315Honestly, I think the better comparison would be "crumbling from dry rot." The board, the content of the board, and following that the people on the board, has reached its absolute nadir from the vibrancy of when a lot of us started coming here.

>>114880495(1/2/ The Developing Adventures of Golden Girl: Golden Girl VS Mary Jane (An anti-drug PSA)An evil roams the streets of Platinum City, changing the youth of America from the inside, an evil far more insidious than the red menace: MARY JANE. Leading medical researchers are coming to the conclusion that marijuana is probably the most dangerous drug in the United States, and we haven't begun to find out all of the ill effects, but they are permanent ill effects.Destroyer of conscience, families and the american way of living. It could be anywhere, even at the PRESIDENT'S PHYSICAL FITNESS CHALLENGE:Cut to Audrey's schoolWe see the young all star quarterback, excited to get a chance to break last year' record, but also kinda nervous. Competition is about to start and he forgot his lucky running shoes on the classroom, while looking for them, he hears a sweet saxophone tune, a siren song, promising that all he needs to do break his record is RELAX…>Play the tunes, young man, and I will make you fly to the finish lineThe all star quarterback plays the sax, unleashing a magical, mystery green wall of smoke, MARY JANE>Look at you, SO TENSE, that makes your body heavy, all you need is to lighten upThe temptress rolls out her long tongue, on the tip of it, a blunt. She takes a hit. The sport star takes a step back>Sorry, miss, but dad says I can only smoke after competition>Don't worry, champ. This is all natural, like mama's chicken soupShe said as she press her body against his>Ok, miss...He takes a drag. Cut to newspapers announcing the disappearance of the school's greatest athlete.Silver Queen and Golden Girl are on the case.

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>>114881878(2/2) Mary Jane goes into night clubs, looking for disenfranchised youngsters to recruit, thats where he finds Rocker Billy, Betty and the boys. Seeing the influence Billy has, Mary Jane wants him as an ally. The conflict starts when Billy refuses to distribute the dope.Mary Jane is a genie like entity that comes out of a saxophone. Green, like the green devil, a temptress. The Junkies are her putty patrol, goons in leaf uniforms, they don't have much power behind their punches, but can tank a lot of damage, usually they overwhelm victims by ganging up on them.She would love to turn everyone into an addict, but not everyone is susceptible to her charms, just like a Freddy Krueger, she has a thing for troubled teens. The football player took the bait for the stress related to the competition.The PSA explanation would be that if you truly are a good, clean, wholesome, christian american, you cannot be seduce by the powers of Mary Jane.After the quarterback became a junkie, some of his friends, thinking the champ is the coolest and want to be just like him, when ahead and smoke weed. Peer pressure is another one of Mary Jane's devilish tactics.I want the overly exaggerated nature of Reefer Madness. I would like to finish the comic with a letter/psa section call "The Silver Lining with Silver Queen", in this section, Silver Queen states that, although she admires Golden Girl for taking the initiative in the Mary Jane case, if you see one of your friends smoking weed, you should report them to the authorities.

>>114881315>>114881423I will admit that I feel the same way sometimes, but I still am able to find that old creative spark every so often here.And since I don't start, engage, or continue arguments that make me mad, I'm able to avoid a lot of what makes this place the shithole that is.I still find myself feeling more engaged with any /coc/ related plots than I do with any of the American comics being published these days.

>>114880693how's this?

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>>114882424Neat.The cloud one reminds me of one of the titans from the disney Hercules.

>>114881878>>114881909I like this. Try to approach that like that whole "Nick-O-Teen" thing

>>114881909Wasn't there also some line of thought where GG made a fake mouth to fake out Mary Jane and then sucker punch her as she was gloating to SQ?

>>114882424Pretty cool. I like the one on the left. Gives me a jester vibe with its attire.

>>114883080>>114883147After the Rocker Billy conflict, Golden Girl infiltrates Mary Jane's ranks. Not even Silver Queen knows about her plan. It all comes down to a final showdown, Silver Queen, after a long and taxing battle against the junkies, reaches the final room of the dingy 'pot house', Mary Jane has prepare a special strain in her sax, (the sax is 'high'ly protected, it only can be reach by 'high' ranking members) once Audrey smokes it, she will be turn into the sidekick criminal known as "The Dealer", Mary Jane gloats to Silver Queen:>It's too late, Silver Queen! When Golden Girl takes the final drag of that doobie, her life as productive member of society will be up in smoke…Golden Girl takes a good drag, the room is fill with smoke, Silver Queen weeps at the lost of her ward, Mary Jane celebrates:>YES! Soon, after everyone finds out that the all-american sidekick is on the reefer, all hope will cease, and America's youth will be under the influence of MARY JANE! HAHAAHAHAHA.But a tune starts playing, its the national anthem, being play on the saxophone by the one and only Golden Girl, a weaken Mary Jane shrills:>BUT HOW?! HOW COULD THIS BE?! MY STRAIN IS PER...>A mouth full of cotton swabs coated in a special drug/smoke absorbing chemical. You really are on drugs if you believe that Golden Girl would willingly become a low life addict.>NO, NO! I will take away your will to live...>Why would we lost the will to live, when we live in the United States of America?Golden Girl finishes the national anthem, Mary Jane returns to the sax. Silver Queen, Golden Girl and Rocker Billy share a laugh.We end on the PSA by Silver Queen:>HEROES DON'T DO DRUGS

>>114883080youtube.com/watch?v=9LBSNTHre74A shady figure on an alleyway talking with some kids:>C'mon kids, don't you wanna be cool like Silver Queen? Spark this doob with me and you will fly, just like her...>I don't know, mister...>Don't worry kids, its just a plant...Outta nowhere, Silver Queen appears:>You are the one that's getting plant, in your own jailcellSQ grabs the crook and sends him flying to jail with a mighty throw:>Thanks, Silver Queen>And remember kids, to be a hero you just need to study, exercise and a balance diet. Heroes don't do drugs.

>>114884162Needs to be organized into a panel play-by-play and boiled down to an easy to interpret description.

bump

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>>114884469Amazing

>>114885314That's what I got so far, organizing it in panels, what do you think of it?

>>114885439Interesting.>>114885589I mean like page one, panel one. That sort of thing.Do you imagine it as going horizontal or vertical?

>>114886326Vertical. What I mean is, what do you think of the story so far?

>>114886755The idea is sound and the ending works.The middle is murky. Like, what is Billy doing? I know there was some suggested dialogue for his refusal several months ago.Does their fight attract SQ and GG? How do they get separated? WHY does Mary Jane believe GG took a hit?

>>114886845What about this: While investigating for the whereabouts of the all-star quarterback, Silver Queen deduces that it must had been the stress of the athletic test what made him vulnerable to Mary Jane's influence:>Platinum City has lost his sports star in the making, but that won't enough for the machiavellian marijuana. We need to look for the defenseless prepubescents, those who take on the streets at night, looking for the love they recieve at home. Quick, Golden Girl, what are this city's hotspots for juvenile delinquents?>I wouldn't know, Silver Queen.>You truly are a golden girl, Golden Girl. That was a test. I know where to go.Cut to Rocker Billy's turf

>>114887427Have they met the marijuana mistress prior to this investigation?

>>114887566The police finds the burnt joint next to missing kid's lucky running shoes. SQ proceeds to expository dialogue about pot infront of the kid's crying parents.>>114887427From >>113060549 Betty: "You muscling in on Billy's turf!? You wanna die!?"Mary Jane: "Why don't you kids just calm down. Have a puff."Billy begins to furiously play his guitar "I don't even let society tell me what to do, what makes you think you'd have it any easier?"During the fight, MJ shows interest in GG:>C'mon kid. Don't tell me you've never felt any growing pains, don't you want to be free to be just you? No danger, no pressure, no high expectations, just the high>Where can I meet you? >Tomorrow, night. Evergreen St. No tricks, remember I still have your sports star under my cloud.From the reader's perspective it looks like GG has been going several night to smoke with MJ. SQ gets suspicious of GG's red eyes (tired eyes) she finds GG taking the smoke absorbing chemical from the lab, a chemical she has been developing to fight off MJ, when she confronts her about it, GG denies it. Thinking she might be stealing it to protect MJ, SQ follows Audrey. They go to the shady place.

>>114888687It might be too elaborate for the GG story.GG comics are usually full of hard cuts to keep things moving at a brisk pacing.

>>114888781After this it can go to the finale describe in >>114884162 it still is longer than the usual GG strip, but you can say its a giant PSA special.

>>114888687Watch a Captain Planet episode. That'll give you some inspiration

>>114881878OK, so this is what I mean by boiling it down.Page one>Panel one:We see the streets of Platinum City, there's a queer smoke wafting about it, and it is smiling.Narration box: "An evil roams the streets of Platinum City, changing the youth of America from the inside, an evil far more insidious than the red menace: MARY JANE. Destroyer of conscience, families and the American way of living.">Panel two:Cut to Audrey's schoolNarration box: "It could be anywhere...">Panel three:We see the young all star quarterback in the locker room anxiously looking for his lucky running shoes. Some musical notes float by him.>Panel threeThe young man's chin is now being held by a wispy looking disembodied hand made of smoke, it is holding his head towards a saxophone while saying to him"Play the tunes, young man, and I will make you fly to the finish line.">Panel four:The all star quarterback plays the sax, unleashing a magical, mystery green wall of smoke, MARY JANE, who surrounds him>Panel five:She has a hand on his shoulder and is holding up a blunt"Look at you, SO TENSE, that makes your body heavy, all you need is to light one up.">Panel six:Cut to SQ and GG looking at a newspaper announcing the disappearance of the school's greatest athlete.

bump

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>>114890386I am also working on a panel by panel breakdown, but yours is more concise.

>>114890593Do you want me to keep going or is it too boiled down?

>>114874932Who was that CWC parody named?

>>114890386Page Two>Panel one:SQ and GG looking at an evidence bag with the burnt joint.SQ: Marijuana... Probably the most dangerous drug in the United States, Golden Girl>Panel Two:GG: What does it do?SQ: It corrupts the mind, turning good and wholesome american teenagers into godless vagrants...>Panel Three:Dramatic turnSQ: Dead godless vagrants!>Panel Four:GG: *gasp* We must quickly find our esteemed sports promise if we want to inform him about the permanent consequences of marijuana. But where do we start?>>114890795Keep it going, man. I like yours better, let's both post panels, and then decide on what will be best.

>>114891048Crystal

>>114891118Oh yeah. That. What about that dog?

>>114891067OK, so this is the page two I came up with.Page two>Panel oneSQ and GG are riding around town in their motorcycle, they are wearing helmets.SQ: "Platinum City has lost a sports star in the making, but that won't enough for the machiavellian marijuana. We need to look for the defenseless prepubescents, those who take on the streets at night, looking for the love they recieve at home. Quick, Golden Girl, what are this city's hotspots for juvenile delinquents?"GG: "I wouldn't know, Silver Queen."SQ: "You truly are a golden girl, Golden Girl. That was a test. I know where to go.">Panel twoWe see a malt shop with a bunch of bikes parked out front. The shop is being surrounded by green smoke, inside of the smoke there are many eyes and shadowy figures.Narration Box: "Disenfranchised youths have been going missing in Platinum city one after the other..." (might not be needed)>Panel threeWe see the inside of the shop, it's a classic malt shop with a jukebox, red seats and counter tops, black and white checkered floors. It is full of greasers, and at the front is Roller Better holding a knifeBetty: "You muscling in on Billy's turf!? You wanna die!?">Panel fourMary Jane is standing at the door with smoke wafting in from behind her in the shape of musical notes, she's holding up a blunt."Why don't you kids just calm down. Have a puff.">Panel fiveA close up of Rocker Billy sitting at the counter (turned away from it) furiously playing his guitar as the smokey musical notes are destroyed"I don't even let society tell me what to do, what makes you think you'd have it any easier?">Panel sixMary Jane's junkie horde has filled in behind her.Mary Jane: "Have it your way."

>>114891893I love yours, it jumps right into the search, I had that written in page 3, continuing the lab exposition scene. I think yours flows better, it also clarifies about the multiple disappearances, I didn't if I had written that clear enough. My only note is not throw away the godless vagrants line, let's have that on stand by.Here's what I had for page 3Page Three>Panel One:SQ typing on her 50s super computor. The computer displays the case keynotes: Multiple disappearancesVulnerable teensJazz music?SQ: Whoever is distributing this horrid herb seems to have a thing for young men and women in stressful situations. Say, Golden Girl, what are Platinum City's hotspots for disenfranchised delinquent teenagers?GG: Gee, I wouldn't know, Silver Queen. SQ: You truly are a golden girl, Golden Girl. That was a test. I know where to go.

Page three>Panel oneThe malt shop now has broken windows and there are greasers and junkies lying on the floor surrounding the entrance(might be an unnecessary panel)>Panel twoGG has her hands up to her face and SQ has an arm outstretched in front of her, as if to shied her ward from such violenceGG: "GOLLY!"SQ: "Wait here, Golden Girl, I'll scout ahead!"(the line needs some sprucing up)>Panel threeThe smoke is closing in on GG from behind as she hears a devil's whisper. GG does not turn around to face the smoky hands wafting around the back of her head.MJ: "Hey kid, don't tell me you've never felt any growing pains, don't you want to be free to be just you? No danger, no pressure, no high expectations, just the highGG: "Where can I meet you?"MJ: "Tomorrow, night. Evergreen St. No tricks, remember I still have your sports star under my cloud."I'm actually pretty tired, so I'm having a harder time figuring out the best way to rearrange/rewrite this exchange to make sense contextually. And how to also make the jump to the lab.I figured I should post what I have edited so far though.

>>114892220Godless vagrants can be used later if needed.The path forward now for my take on this is to figure out the lab scenes. They can be summed up as SQ being stumped, GG offering no feedback before disappearing (tired eyes), and SQ looking on perplexed.Billy's role in the story has already ended in my take. The Code demands he cannot be there at the end of the story to share in a hearty laugh with the heroes unless he is in cuffs and he has committed no crimes so far in this serial, so it wouldn't make sense.

>>114890386Actually, I think I should move>MARY JANE. Destroyer of conscience, families and the American way of living."from panel one to panel four where she actually appears. Give her a proper narration box intro thing.

>>114892433What does she look like?

I'll give it a bump before bed and then see if it is still up in the morning.If it is, then I'll see about continuing this GG script editing process.

>>114892949This is the only image of her that I am aware of >>114881878

>>114892985Nice

>>114876018You could easily turn Erin into an equally feelsy story as well. I mean, she's a young girl that just totally vanished one day. There'll be worried parents and friends, search parties, school teachers will be telling kids to only travel in pairs, to keep an eye out for suspicious men. Her father will probably never sleep well again, always waking up to check if she called; her mother will continue to keep her room tidy and her bedding fresh. They'll me looking and making appeals to find her to her for years. She'll leave an aching hole in an entire community.And will she ever see her home again? The copse near the park, the way her father's moustache got longer in the winter "to keep his lips warm", the way her mother would always ask three times "have you had breakfast?" before leaving for school. Will she ever walk the hallways of her home with floorboards that creaked loudly so you had to step in the right place to be quiet...

>>114894253Erin's disappearance coincides with the Inversion, so throw all that worry into the middle of the biggest social upheaval in history.

>>114895422Not sure if that makes it worse or actually takes a bit of the oomph out.

>>114892344Can Billy get hold for questioning? For your page 3, what do you think about addin Silver Queen trying to fight off MJ but being unable to grasp "the gaseous goon" ?

>>114896496How so?

>>114896496Depends which way you go. You could have it be that there's missing persons all over the place (probably eaten by a grue), and the police will be absolutely swamped with all sorts of shit. Imagine the spike in muggings and burglaries from all the goblins. Then you have Erin's parents begging them "please, you have to help us find our little girl!"

>>114897550>PANEL 1>a clearly upset father and mother staple a missing persons flyer to a wall>PANEL 2>view pulls back and we see that there are several others, including other people doing the same>PANEL 3>wide shot of a wall covered in such posters

>>114892222Page three>Panel threeThe smoke is closing in on GG from behind as she hears a devil's whisper. GG does not turn around to face the smoky hands wafting around the back of her head.MJ: "Hey kid, don't tell me you've never felt any growing pains, don't you want to be free to be just you? No danger, no pressure, no high expectations, just the highGG: "Where can I meet you?"MJ: "Tomorrow, night. Evergreen St. No tricks, remember I still have your sports star under my cloud."SQ (off panel): GET WAY FROM HER, WICKED WEED!>Panel fourWith a mighty leap, Silver Queen gets just in range to grab the devilish dealer of dope, but its unable grasp her arm, smoke fizzling out between SQs fingers>Panel fiveAs MJ flies off, while SQ and GG look up, impotentSQ: *fist up* YOU GASEOUS GOON!MJ: Sorry, Platinum Prude, but I must hightail it out of this joint. See you soon, GG.>Panel sixSQ, worry, asks a distraught GG.SQ: What did that addictive apparition told you?GG: gee... Nothing really maam. I swear>Panel sevenAs SQ walks to her bike, back turn to GG.SQ: I believe you, GG. I will look to for a way to capture that chaos catalyzer. I will go to the lab, you return to school, don't assist me unless I call you.GG is upset, obviously wants to say something about getting send to the bench but refrains from it

>>114897979Bump

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>>114897979A bit rough, but it can work.>>114897380I think by the time they arrive the turf war is already dispersing so Billy is long gone.I'm torn between the current version you've presented and taking some of that to use for the final confrontation.I think SQ not being able to land a punch on MJ would work better for the finale.In the finale, as MJ gloats over SQ, GG has the opportunity to pull the saxophone away from whoever is playing it. If no one is playing the saxs, MJ can't maintain her body and gets pulled back in like a genie.I wonder if Jade Empress would drain the saxs of its magic.

>>114898620>>114898620I say go with your gut instinct. I'm liking your version better. >If no one is playing the saxs, MJ can't maintain her body and gets pulled back in like a genie.That's brilliant, my version didn't really use the sax for full effect.>I wonder if Jade Empress would drain the saxs of its magic.She melts the sax into an opium pipe that allows her to turn into a gaseous form.

>>114892222>>114897979Let's see...>Panel fourGG is brought back to attention when SQ calls out to her as she makes her way back from the malt shop, the smoke is gone.SQ: "No sign of that wicked weed, she's already been and gone.">Panel fiveGG is facing away from SQ, she does not look her in the eye when she respondsGG: "All clear here too."Gonna think some more on the next page.

>>114899556Page four could be 6 panels, the 3 panels on the left (1,3 and 5) Silver Queen working on the lab, while getting suspicious of GG. The 3 panels on the right (2,4 and 6) GG 'smoking' with MJPage 5 SQ confronts GGPage 6 Beginning of the final battlePage 7 GG defeats MJPage 8 Ending and PSA

>>114898561Spanish is, in all honesty, the most inherently funny language

>>114900462Translation:>MARIJUANA: The Devil's black tobacco.The vice that drags men, women, boys and girls... Vice that like the tentacles of an octopus, strangles the youth, decency and life!>HORRID>CRUDE>CRUEL>TRAGIC>EXPLOSIVE>DELIGHT, DELIRIUM! PAINWATCH! What pleasure they get!What pain they experience!Death befalls the addicts!

>>114901176

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>>114901176This reads like one of those weird-ass movie posters.

>>114897641>>114897550>>114895422>>114894253This is why when we made her I kept referencing April Ryan.

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>>114901473Unironically kind of cool

>>114880157A dog

>>114899556>Panel sixSQ is looking at the map displayed on their super computer while GG has her backed turned to her at the chemistry tableSQ: "Where could that gaseous gang be hiding?"GG: "No clues yet, Silver Queen.">Panel sevenGG is heading out, we see bags under her eyes without the mask on. Behind her SQ is calling out to her.SQ: "You sound tired, Audrey."GG: "Just working hard, ma'am."SQ: "Rest assured, we'll nab this nefarious narcotics ne'er-do-well."Page four>Panel oneSQ is throwing a punch to knock back some of the junkie hoard.Narration box: "The Sensational Silver Queen has uncovered the secret hideout of the malevolent Mary Jane.">Panel twoMary Jane appears before Silver Queen pointing to a windowMJ: "You're too late Silver Queen!">Panel threeOn the other side of the window we see GG holding up a blunt to her lips as the missing quarterback is playing the saxophone so the smoky musical notes whirl around her. SQ has her hand pressed up against the window exclaimingSQ: "Golden Girl, no!"MJ: "YES! Once everyone learns that even the all-American sidekick is on the reefer, all resistance will end and America's youth will be under the influence of MARY JANE! HAHAAHAHAHA!">Panel fourThe window is shattered as the saxophone is tossed through it colliding with Mary Jane, knocking her downMJ: "BUT HOW?! HOW COULD THIS BE?! MY STRAIN IS PER-">Panel fiveGolden girl is standing triumphantly in the broken window holding up some wet cotton swabsGG: "A mouth full of cotton swabs coated in a special cannabis absorbing chemical."Narration box: "You really are on drugs if you believe that Golden Girl would willingly become a low life addict!">Panel sixMJ is getting punched right in the kisser by a smiling SQ as MJ is being sucked back into her saxophoneMJ: "NOOOO!"

I might've condensed it a bit too much though.And then there would be the actual PSA page with the cops taking the saxophone into custody and the HEROES DON'T DO DRUGS ending.

>>114894253And then there's the scene when she finally breaks out of her stoic and deadpan demeanour and admits how homesick she is, and has a "I want to go home" scene like at the end of Inside-Out with Hank.

>>114902793>>114902822Its perfect! I'm setting up the pastebin

>>114903459I can just add it to the GG scripts pastebin later.It might still need tweaks. Like if there was anything vital you felt I left out.

>>114903459So, do you want to finalize the actual PSA page that caps off the saga?

>>114880157Just draw what comes to mind

>>114903567I think its great, you really made the best of my ramblings.Page Five>Panel onePolice taking the saxophone.>Panel twoSports star hugging his mom, both crying.>Panel threeSQ and GG looking over the former junkies, all of them are pretty upset.GG: Is it really over?SQ: Sadly it is just starting, GG. These young men and women will have to live with permanent ills of marijuana>Panel FourSQ looking directly at the reader. GG behind her.SQ: But when this story gets out, maybe, just maybe, our community will step up to the dastardly dope dealers. Kids already have the power to fight drugs, the only thing they need to do is say NO, because heroes don't do drugs.END.Final page goes into this >>114884469adding a card of the ficticious campaign

>>114904608So what's the title of the "saga"?

In spite of how awkward the overall pitch process was for Lustbane, it seems to have stuck, or at least it caught Magi's interest. I think it's actually developed the potential for an interesting setup, but, I think we need to expand on it.The current situation, as I understand it, is that Nicky's got demon blood in him, and when the portal is finally fixed by Erin, the reestablished connection to the demon realms ignites that blood and causes a massive influx of colored magic. Now, where I think we've got a lot of room to work with here is, it doesn't seem at all likely to me that Nick here is the only one with demon blood in him. I think we could have a lot of fun looking at other potential partial demons and seeing how they'd turn out. The idea that Nick's primarily dealing with succubi doesn't seem like an idea with particularly long legs, but you could do a lot with other demonborn. Nicky's got a problem when it comes to utilizing his own abilities, because it makes him deeply uncomfortable, so what's his reaction going to be meeting a demonborn with Indigo blood, who revels in the nightmarish powers they've got?And, how's all this affect our number #1 demon-blooded character, the Blueblood herself, Adalicia?

>>114904645Heroes don't do drugs: The most shocking Silver Queen case (a special cooperation with The President's anti drug abuse campaign)

>>114904708If they aren't vampires or actively causing problems that require super heroic intervention, then Blueblood wouldn't get involved.Now, the weird male succubus seeking her out is a different story.

>>114904798That's a long title for the arc.

>>114874932Well, that was some shitty finals.Other Holla Forumsle guy back, hope the other dude's here.

>>114905138'Heroes don't do drugs' or 'Silver Queen says: Heroes don't do drugs'

>>114904989It's less whether or not she'd want to get involved, and more what happens when the portal's reinstatement pulses her with a big chunk of Blue magic.

>>114903455It's worth remembering as well that she's not the only one separated from their home. In fact, it's a recurring theme that characters have a time or place they wish to return to, or ran away from.

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>>114905506If I remember right, there's the plant creature who's species effectively went extinct on their home plane, and they're looking for a plane where they can sink roots and try to restart. There's also a bug and the elf pilot, but I don't know if they play into that theme at all.

>>114905296Oh hey, I'm here.Just wrapping up with helping this other user in editing a GG idea into a proper script.Let me know when you want to get back to the Holla Forumsle story.>>114905425I've added it to the collection of scripts.pastebin.com/JaMSQ8FJGive it a look over to make sure you're satisfied with it all.

>>114905953That's brilliant. Thanks alot.

>>114906738Sure thing.At least something happened this thread.

>>114905953Ok, we're still on the resteraunt thing, right?

>>114908100Yeah, the still current latest post in the plus4chan thread is the most recent suggested revision to it. I didn't update the doc with it since we never went over it.

>>114907866Working on an overview for 'Katya: Hero of Socialist Labor'. Hope I can get it to script format before thread dies.

>>114908746Propaganda piece?

>>114908924In esence. Its Katya giving an impassioned narration of what rodinu means to her. We get a bleak vision of the future where the Americans defeat the soviets, everyone turns into greedy monsters, that's the reason why she fights no matter how many times she gets defeated by Golden Girl.

>>114908465hmmmmm, I'm a little lost on what SG's feeling to want to jump scenes.

>>114909836She's feeling introspective. You don't really want to dwell on how shit you might be when you can just take action immediately to try to rectify it.Right now I'm still out of the head space of writing this story since it's been a few weeks, so I don't have any in-depth pseudo psycho analysis for her.If I had to put it someway, this is the moment she realizes that she is to these mortals what the other gods are to her: A massive asshole.

>>114910001Maybe have Clara pipe up more aggressively on how SG acts? make it obvious the mortals are pissed at her.But by this point, what are you thinking the way to go with this scene is, if I just said "Add it in" and you make all the beats?

>>114874932Two things: One, edgy 90s rebootsTwo, I once made this character who was a parody of characters like TBMWL and Knull. Y'know, the grinning asshole who's behind everything somehow

>>114911027The main problem with this section and why it feels so off is because it's all dialogue and I have no idea what to do with dialogue.I'd like to have more conversation before Holla Forumsle exits the scene, but I just don't know what to add there. It bothers me looking at it again, but I can't come up with anything for it.As for making the seasons girls dig into SG more aggressively.Lily cocks an eyebrow "Yeah, you kinda do. What with the giant shadows crawling all over the set before."Clara: "You're also selfish, clingy, only ever think of yourself, and then there's the way you're always eyeing Cole like a piece of meat. (Not that I could blame you.). I get that you're a god and that's just how gods are, but even I have standards."Lilly: "And Clara having higher standards than someone is saying a lot."SG makes a pained expression as she looks at herself in the makeup mirror Clara is still holding up. Things are not going as she envisioned.I'm not sure I totally understand your last line.

selfishonly ever think of yourselfOh, that's redundant. I could add in a line of them even saying it was redundant and the redundancy being necessary.But I'm not sure that would be funny.

>>114911571That's a good start. I'd need to add a bit of flair, I think. But I've sleeping at normal times so this will have to be picked up tomorrow. Thankfully schedule's freed up a bunch so it should be pretty early tomorrow.As for the last line, I'm asking if I ok'd everything you think this scene should be taken, what would you do? It'd be good to know where you think this all should head to.

>>114911867If you ok'd everything in this scene I would question if you were the same guy as before who was so looking forward to revisiting this cluster-krump of an issue.This issue and you as see as if you were a boxer who was just itching to go another round with someone who gave him a knock down drag out fight before.Like a grudge match.Getting feedback is far more important than having things OK'd. There's plenty of parts that I look at and think "what the hell was I thinking when I decided to write it like that" and I'm relying on you to highlight the parts that stand out as particularly reeking of sleep deprivation writing.Now, moving forward from this scene, the next part that super fucking annoys me is Skathi's little speech. It just seems to come out of nowhere. Only I know why it comes out of nowhere, because I couldn't think of how to build up to it the first time I wrote this.So there needs to be more dialogue before it.I need ideas for exchanges in this section of the issue.

>>114911564I remember that... What was his name, anyways?

>>114912137You need to look at what’s needed and what isn’t. Trim it down a bit

>>114913950I don't think you're the same guy because that's the opposite of what he's said is needed right now.Right now it needs "more". That's the major issue with this issue of Holla Forumsle, it needs more dialogue in the sections that are meant to be dialogue heavy.If I were to trim it down then it'd end up being a summary, not a story.

>>114914127That’s kind of what I meant. Even it out first

>>114914285I still need to add more before I can take stuff out.Right now we're deep in the second pass of the editing process. This is the pass where the theme seems to be "add more".We're on what is currently page 41 right now.docs.google.com/document/d/14Fo9aexcIeI3KbEV3f0_0NLu2fyS1xOgr-Umri9zawU/edit?usp=sharing

A fun, or at least interesting to me, thing to make note of is switching from editing a GG script idea back to writing Holla Forumsle in the same thread.The mentality is totally different.With GG it's like a series of stills in my mind, everything needs to be BAM, POW, BIFF, WHAP. Gotta keep things moving at a brisk pace. You write it with the intention that if anyone is ever inclined to draw it, the idea is clear. They can see scene you've set up with all the actors in place.With Holla Forumsle, it's more like a moving picture in my mind. There's time to really get descriptive with facial expressions and body language. The medium is meant to be written so the only constraints on the content are the ones I chose to adhere to.Sometimes I fall into that trap thinking I've written more than I thought I had in places since those places took longer to write. It's not until I actually get to discuss it with someone that I realize how much more I can throw into it. It's like a series of realizations and then new inspiration to make those lacking parts better.It's been slow going, but at least it actually is going.