Holla Forums Plays Darkest Dungeon

its the first stop on the boss pain train

Get an occultist and name him Pajeet

DD is nice enough to not punch you in the dick in the tutorial unless the big bastard at the end gets crits. But that would be very unlikely so you'll be fine.

Also get an Arbalest and name her Dindu.

they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming

occultists are middle-eastern and pajeet is an indian name you racist shitface

How about naming her Leslie Jones instead?

Might as well just go with Harambe.

Dismas is hurtin :(

I don't see the difference

Or, better yet, Harambette.

french, I like it

should I do it? it says fucking 'trapped' in the name!

Do it. You leave immediately so whatever happens literally doesn't matter.

Thanks. I like your dubs.

it was actually trapped (excuse my shock), but luckily dismas dodged it

you niggas best savor the sight of all that loot cus you're not gonna see that much money in one place for a long-ass time.

awww dismas got his first mental illness

cute

I guess he listened to Reynauld too much.

Names, I need new names, these sound too generic.

I'm thinking 'dirty dan' for dismas

Isn't it a little late to be playing video games user?

Plague Doctor is Chorbatha
Cleric-thing is Mwee

fuck you, get off my thread jackass, your kind ain't welcome here

Big Bird for the Plague Doctor.

Are you using a modpack or did they change the Vestal's art?

Doctor dick for the medicman

I guess we've come full circle or something

It’s 106 miles to the dungeon, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing masks

Hit it.

holy shit when you put the 4 starting classes on the same team it says usual suspects, I'm dying

what should I buy?

No torches :^)

shit nigga wat r u thinkin

Just go look up the spreadsheet with the recommended amounts, you're gonna get wiped no matter what

Also do this so you can play a different game

I'm not fuckin using guides, guides are for pussies

benis

...

...

shit I just realized he's a kelpto

He's always a kelpto

I'm feeling masochistic today

Look, you might as well give yourself the delusion that you're prepared for this shit

I don't like this game, if you can't tell.

Also they should tell you all the names you can get, so that's neat

It's already over.

lol u can keep that to yourself, torch pole

atta boy

jk I'm actually kinda scared now

Fuck's sake OP you better use that holy water and blight cure for useful stuff

Don't worry.
You can just make more light using Vestal's skills in battle. :^)

lets get this party started

ez pz lmn sqezy :^)

out-spook the skellies

wtf the game is fucking with me, I know it, its never this easy

Glad you figured it out.

dat scouting doe

Go north. It'll be okay.

all of this is too damn convienent, just found a shovel right before i was supposed to use it, its lulling me into a false sense of security and then its gonna kill someone from the party.

place your bets on who gets killed first

doc will be kill

waifu doctor is kill

You sure you haven't modded this ?

They all make it out alive but plague doc gets to death's door

you jinx'd me asshole, fuck you

look at what you did

...

dirty dan is savage af tho so its cool

There there. You haven't met a Bone Courtier… yet.

vestal pulls her weight

got a 1000 gold for that :^) all is well

Dubs for the dubs god.
Thanks for making my monday work more tolerable.

You'll survive.

She always does

you're welcome, now you get to choose what direction we go

lol nigger why arent you running faceblast+shadowshank for dan, its so fucking good, works well with crusader too

oh shit nigga what r u doing you're supposed to put a spoiler

North is a chest and a battle. Better go there and maybe get some spoils before you starve.

I haven't unlocked the guild yet niggerfaggot, this is a new save, these are the starting characters

(checked)

sounds fun

THAT KLEPTO BASTARD ACTUALLY TOOK IT

Not when you invest loads of time and your A team gets wiped in one turn because you didn't know there was a boss coming up because you're playing blind.

Treasure > Other stuff
We need mo money for dem town upgraydes

git gud

I simply don't have the time. It is not worth the investment for what payoff? Lose all my gear and doods?

It's really not
There's a lot of fundamental problems with the game, dungeon design, and the fact that the devs actively go out of their way to nerf effective team builds

Yeah you're right, wow we gotta lynch everyone who doesn't have ESP, death to scrubs

Go fap to incest porn, David

Jesus christ what the fuck, please tell me this is some Angry Video Game Cuck-tier horseshit.

ohh ok. ive been playing the same save for like 4 months on and off, almost killed all the minibosses, sitting on a bunch of tier 6s but ive only done one darkest run so far, my original higwayman is still alive surpsingly, hes insanely strong and you dont need to mark

the fucking bandit cannon fucked me the worst, but I know how to deal with it now, pretty much the only place so far where ive really needed anti-protection skills, i.e bountyhunter/dogeman

this game is so good but simultaneously so shit, its basically penny ante NL hold em.

is the addon out yet? im running an older build, I should probably buy this PoS

so far the only a single member of my A team died because I'm not a moron who sends his A team in when he's unsure, unlike you morons, git fucking gud

pic related, its from my current save, only character I have ever played that was above level 2 that ever got killed

well torch is almost out and I'm getting into a room battle, time to jump head-first into imminent death

Reminder that "git gud" is the vidya equivalent of "check your pivilege"

Way to shitpost your own thread to death, OP

pleb tier superpower tbh>>11452375

GIT GUD.

How many playthroughs of the game have you done? What is your steam time?

I can hardly be a 'moron' for not knowing that there'd be a boss It'd be like calling someone a 'moron' for making a sub-optimal build on a game when you are doing your first blind playthough.

Don't bother. OP just wants attention because he got his feelings hurt at school today.

I actually really like the game and was taking the piss off him. It's pretty easy, I've only ever lost 3 jesters and that's mostly because I'm very trigger happy with solo + finale.

Just like murder everything

It's a shame since the game had a lot of potential, but the devs fucked it up

I'M GOIN IN, WISH ME LUCK

good luck pupper

oh wait this doesn't look so bad actually, I like these odds

never run kleptos if you can avoid it, one of the worst fucking traits. hilariously the first one of my guys that got it was an occultist who was of course from then on dubbed "The Thieving A-rab"

retreating is the most underused mechanic in this game, chances are you overextended, the deaths door thing is actually pretty leniant, im alsways suprised out how people rage at this game when it isnt that hard and pretty easy to damage mitigate, people that suck at DD should never play poker

See, you claim you're taking the piss out of me, but you're just having a meltdown due to your being mad.

Welcome to post-Souls video games, user. Devs are NEVER at fault, everything must be blamed on the player. Be submissive or be hunted.

Holy fuck, Soulsfags are the bronies of video games. Not even joking, just like how a brony has to mention ponies, Soulfags have to use their forced memes. Git original you autists.

You suck at talking without a stutter, you raging sperg.

I run away a lot, maybe thats why I still have 3 out of 4 of the starting characters

pain train has reached its second stop, shit nigga they bringing heat

RETREAT

good thing I packed an extra serving of ass kicking :^)

Good on you, user! You sure showed him! Why not take the extra mile and show how little you care about people playing this game?

but wait there's more!

DD is not comparable to souls, feel free to rage at le gaymin culture but this is basically a numbers/statistics game with some minor RnG, you could literally make equations to "solve" DD if you were autistically inclined, they would look a lot like holdem EV calcs

completely correct way to play, its basically like folding, you could probably also show with math when you have to retreat

why you heff to be mad, tovarish? does playing gem make hed hurt?

Your guys are barely even stressed out or hurt. With any luck you might actually make it without someone freaking out.

aaaaaaaaaaaand they're all dead

should I open it?

Good joke mate, good joke. Even with a good strategy and a solid team stupid bullshit can annihilate your party.

Why the fuck do you gotta ask about opening a chest with loot? You're shit at dungeon crawling.

anttivenom dude

dude fuck you, I could have needed that later

audience engagement is best engagement

WOW SERIOUSLY

Okay bye.

Autistic fanbase that can't handle criticism? Game has a dark and lolsoedgy atmosphere? Yes it is comparable, you raging piece of shit.

Git gud

Madfags should be lynched, just saying.

Like clockwork.

there an old poker adage that fits quite well to DD:

shit happens, and I dont have as much experience in the final dungeons, but so far there has been no equivalent to the kind of suck you can experience in poker, the game gives you so many tools to mitigate risk, so long as you use them, there is no equivalent to getting hit with a one outer

the fuck? did they patch that? used to be guaranteed loot on locked chests, i wasnt trying to ruse you

I hope you get fucked by 12 skeletons

well whatever lets just go t-t

lol wat

Oh fuck it didn't work
Nevermind I'm dumb

nigga seriously fuck you dude

Disarm the trap with Benis, he deserves it for stealing our shit earlier

You use the fucking skeleton keys you moron.

Who the fuck uses antivenom to unlock a chest.

pitch black now, I'm scared my dudes

haw haw seriously man this is fucky, thats a standard play, its the main use for antivenom, what version are you running?

it didn't say it was locked

the latest one

must be a fix then, ive never had antivenom not work, sorry mane

Cast magic missile at the darkness

THATS FOR STEALING MY SHIT REGGIE, YOU DON'T FUCK ME, I SAID NEVER TRY TO FUCK ME, REGGIE

Its this game finally out of early acces ? i havent buy anything in the last two years and i wanna try something different.

(checked)
It opens a secret compartment. Always use keys unless it is an unlocked strongbox.

It's out of early access

i probably will buy this eventually, but you sure as fuck dont have to

DAS RITE

1.0 Is out. Pirate it though.

There is something fun lurking in pitch black dungeons user.

Oh ok, time to pirate then.

nigga what

MAGIC MISSILE

please don't be monsters please don't be monsters please don't be monsters please don't be monsters please don't be monsters

Well this brings me back.
OP confirmed underage Let's Player wannabe

def. give it a shot before you buy, youll either like it or hate it

phew! empty room

we're at a crossroads again, my dudes

Move to the room that isn't a 100% guaranteed battle

Mouse over the southmost floor and see if it is a battle. If it is it is not worth going there and you should head right. if it is not go there and check the curio out.

its a battle

can I get a second opinion?

Head right. You just need to explore two more rooms, and two potential battles is better than one guaranteed battle with your dwindling supplies.

DON'T YOU DARE

YOU MOTHER FUCKER I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

This is what you get for renaming Reynauld you stupid underage shit.

YOU MORON HE WAS MY ONLY OPTION I CAN'T START THE DUNGEON WITHOUT HIM IN MY PARTY BECAUSE I NEED TO HAVE 4 CHARACTERS AND IT ONLY GAVE ME 4 CHARACTERS

well ok I kinda deserved this for not packing some food with that one serving of ass kicking

You always start with Reynauld and Disma. They are both bros, so when you renamed him you angered RNGsus.

maybe I should just give up this dungeon, or maybe I should let reggie die first then leave.

this, you can rename the plebs you get off the wagon but you dont fuck with the intrepid duo that got you to your hamlet

reggie's gonna die I don give a fuk niqqa

nothin, well fuck me

mewee got trapped, I should have paid more attention I blame myself T-T

at this moment you can see the trust she has in me fade from her eyes T-T

so she has a dick? nice

in what way did I even suggest that, she is a real woman, she is stunning and brave you shitlord

shit what should I do

Real women can have penises.

yes, she is stunning and brave, fuck you transphobe

you know what I'm doing it you guys are taking too long to decide

everything went better than expected

we're in trouble my dudes

(checked)

thanks for the thread op, you make me play this, make me less sad and make my day less shitty

you're welcome little nigga go out there and have fun

Reynauld carries

noice one big bird!

aahhh fuck I can't believe you've done this

shit niggas maybe I should bolt it, I don't like these odds

reveal boner kill

excuse me?

REYNAULD CARRIES

stomp skellies, you insufferable twat

I'M DOING IT

alright the odds are getting worse my dudes

look at those health and stress bars

This would be the point where smart players uses the top-right little flag icon to flee and cut their losses.

It is also the point where bad players complain about RNG and keep going until half their party dies.

ikr

...

I escaped!
everything went better than expected, AGAIN!

what should I do now?

Underage nigger open the chest and get the fuck out of the dungeon. Use a key if you have one

What's the latest version and do they update the vita version at the same time?
I'll probably pirate it so i can play it on the go and i want to know which version i have to find.

its not letting me upload pics anymore for some reason

Hire more cannon fodder.
Put it on party with the one's with less stress.
Leave the others in the hamlet but don't spend money on stress yet.

The board is half borked. Retry in a minute.

i should get around to playing this game

Did OP die?

Nah, he's in the brothel.

kek

Considering he's managing the town and everything you'd think he'd stop whoring himself out like that

OP here, I'll continue our game tomorrow, right now I guess you could say I have a question mark on my portrait.

eww. maybe you should get that looked at

wat

its a mod you dip

want

I'm gonna fug the hoodless vestal!

...

We're back!

Last time we started a dungeon without any food or torches and now our party are beaten down to the point of death or insanity, despite that morale is for some reason very high

there's something wrong with this picture

should I press on to the horrors ahead or leave?

what the hell is going on

it has to be scripted to do that

you guys are taking too long to decide so I decided myself, and I left.

Gimme names my niggas

Ben "Montana" Garrison for the Crusader

Jill Steinberg for antiquarian

doesn't fit

done

accurate

Constantino V for the Crusader