Describe this film without using the words "reddit," "memes" or "capeshit."

It's leddit cloakdung

None of them wear capes, so capeless-shit

...

It's a generic CGI action fest, it has some alright attempts at being funny that don't make me want to kill myself but it's mostly the same type of shit that's been coming out for a decade now.

generic superhero film with out of place neo-80s trappings designed to appeal to elitist pseudo-intellectuals

They did the same shit to Big Hero Six, blame Disney.

Kino

Ok, how's this - colorful movie for children with an abundance of unfunny gags. It uses popular 60s/70s music as a crutch to keep itself entertaining. Has a father/son theme. The main character is a manchild. Groot is cute-fodder. Every single action scene is reolved with some bullshit and the protagonists don't ever seem in real danger. Mantis is just for cheap laughs. The scene where Gamora shoots the shit out of Nebula's ship (with Nebula inside) to the point it fucking explodes, and THEN goes to try and save Nebula, is the dumbest thing ever.

Star lord turning into pac man in the climactic fight is pretty indicative of the level of humor we're dealing with.

I haven't enjoyed MCU movies since Phase 1, and I had to see this piece of shit 4 fucking times in the cinema because my friends and family all wanted to see it with me… at different times. And I was unemployed, so had fuck all else to do.

Quips.

I store my cummies in my kid sister.

quips

jibes
goofs
guffaws
and a healthy dose of poking fun

It's terrible

Terrible

Good to see you took the Wishing Tree's advice, Danny.

Trash.

is that that dude from its always reddit in philadelphia?

shitmemes from 9gag

Gay niggers from outer space.

A film for children that makes manchildren either ecstatic or asshurt.

A fun movie with a good message on what parenthood really is about.

Oedipus Wrecks the planet

...

it's faggoty garbage for people whose intelligence are so low they dont technically qualify as having a soul.

I liked it. It was fun.

It was so nerdy dude

Source on number 1!

reddit memey shit

its about ego

shit

Paint by numbers marvel superhero origin story
This applies to pretty much every marvel origin movie, with only one point usually being wrong.
More specifically, the first half of this movie meanders in cliche while pretending to be better than that, diffusing tension at every step of the way in the name of 'comedy'. Like, oh no, we're completely surrounded. Wait, lemme push two buttons and then I kill all of the bad guys. Wow, that was close!

Marvel's Star Wars

which is still owned by disney
rly makes u think

ceddit mapeshit remes

T H I C C

LE 80S OMG DAE MEMBER/????????