Wtf i hate cumjimer now

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hes right

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For being wacky, strange and indulging in smug, post-modern humour, Hideo Kojima is lauded in the gaming industry as a pioneer. But he's a terrible writer. For every rehashed philosophical ponder he airlifts into his scripts, there's a convoluted plot-line, reams of sexist rubbish, a twist just for the sake of having one.

Play the Metal Gear Solid series 10 times then sit down and try to recount, in detail, the story. Try to explain the contradictions and the myriad non-sequiturs. Attempt to describe, with a straight face, the fact that in Metal Gear Solid 2 Revolver Ocelot's mind is controlled by a grafted-on arm, but then in Metal Gear Solid 4 it's explained that actually he'd hypnotised himself to make it look like the arm was in control of his mind, so that government spies wouldn't think he was a threat.

Tell me about how, in the last five minutes of Metal Gear Solid, the colonel pops up on the radio to say everything – the entire terrorist action – was the American Secretary of Defence "acting alone," and how that plot thread is never mentioned in the series again. Look at the bloke who craps his pants in every single game. Imbibe the 90-minute cutscene between the third and fourth acts of MGS 4. Witness the gratuitous shots of the dying Beauty and the Beast members, clad in skin-tight latex.

It's just… garbage. Hideo Kojima's writing and direction are so utterly, utterly bad that they bely authentic criticism – dismantling his work, page by page, feels like trying to apply Kantian or Brechtian theory to Tommy Wiseau's The Room. But at least with The Room you can sit back and laugh. You can enjoy that film as a weird, fun corner of film-making.
The Room
"You're tearing me apart Lisa!" - A famous scene from The Room.Wiseau Films

Kojima is our Lord and Saviour. Hungry for auteurs – starved of anything resembling personality or idiosyncrasy – the gaming industry has elevated Kojima to the status of a leading light. We praise him in our own defence. To make Metal Gear Solid and, by proxy, video games in general seem more than they are, we take sexism, stupidity, plagiarism and trash and rebrand them stylish, personal, homage and Japanese. We incrementally and imperceptibly lower the bar for this already struggling culture.
More about Metal Gear Solid

Metal Gear Solid: Hideo Kojima's series shows us how sequels should be made
Snake Eater - Survival and battling The End in Kojima's greatest MGS
Metal Gear Solid: The greatest action movie ever played
Hideo Kojima releases final launch trailer for The Phantom Pain

Metal Gear Solid 4 is the worst of them, and the most poorly written game I've ever played. Every narrative strand is undone by a ludicrous plot twist, executed only in the name of a masturbatory flourish. Every exchange between characters is impenetrable and turgid – at best, the dialogue is a hamstrung emulation of Hollywood films. Kojima drops token references to 2001, The Great Escape and the Bond series, seemingly to fool us into believing his work is on par with that of his influencers. Or perhaps we're supposed to say he's a kind of cultural disc jockey, blending chunks of movies, books and TV shows to create his own remix. But it's all just empty copying.

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Kojima doesn't seem to have grasped the nuance of anything he's ever seen or read, just the characters' names and a few of the cool action bits. So when Snake and Otacon go back and forth on the question of individuality versus conformity, or discuss society's susceptibility to received information, it's all shoehorned in, cribbed from some book and dropped wholesale into a monologue. It's obvious. It's bland. It's brute force philosophising over sophomoric questions. And it comes from a guy who posts on Twitter about how his eggs benedict look like boobies.

Could Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain be any better? If Kojima stopped deleting every single plot strand with a needless twist, if he let go of jargon, if he had the moxie to kill characters off instead of bringing them back like Eva, Big Boss, Major Zero, Vamp and Naomi, and if he stopped approaching women like a kid looking at candy in the window, then maybe. But that feels like asking a shark to share its dinner.

Seeking vicarious validation – if the industry we write about is run by artists, we are critics of art – the gaming press has let Hideo Kojima go consistently unchallenged. He has no reason to make his work better. We seem to either gobble it down without tasting or season it with desperate praise until it becomes palatable.

Hahah epic bro just epic

Play Metal Gear Solid 4 again. Watch the scene where Johnny tells Meryl he loves her while fighting off the Outer Haven troops, or the wedding sequence at the end, or the epilogue where Big Boss returns to try and explain the entire series' plot. If that is what good writing in video games looks like – if that's what we're prepared to lend even the slightest amount of credibility, or mitigated praise - then games are in a very, very unfortunate state, one that even the greatest sequel ever made would struggle to rectify.

It all starts at the end of World War One. The war was so destructive that the elites of the United States, Russia, and China, formed a secret group known as The Philosophers whose goal was to prevent the world from being further engulfed in brutal warfare. The founding members of the Philosophers were the most committed to this ideal and were known as the Wisemen's Committee.

As the world entered the 1930's the last of the Wisemen's Committee had died off because apparently not only were they rich and powerful, they were also a bunch of fucking geriatrics. The Philosophers that succeeded them did not take their jobs as seriously and decided to pass the time through subterfuge, intrigue, and otherwise surreptitious shit that bored Illuminati wannabes typically do. One example of this is the creation of "charm schools" which are meant to produce spies and sleeper agents that are adept at blending into foreign cultures.

This cycle of international fucking about and sticking their dicks into foreign governments temporarily halted when their secretary knocked on their door to let them know it's World War 2 and Hitler actually went to war the absolute madman. Probably because he was sick and tired of these retards playing Spy vs. Spy in his backyard.

After unclenching their assholes they decided to pool their massive wealth and resources to deal with their immense fuck-up. This pile of wealth accumulated to over one hundred billion US dollars, which back then would equate to over one trillion dollars today.

This wealth came to be known as the Philosopher's Legacy and was used to fund advances in the war such as rocketry, the Manhattan project, and in 1942 equip a group of super soldiers known as the Cobra Unit, founded by The Boss.

The Boss was an American daughter of one of the more powerful members of the Wisemen's Committee. When he told her of all the shady shit the Philosopher's were starting to get up to, the group had him killed and sent her to work at a charm school. Because what? Wouldn't you want someone whose parents you killed to be the one training your spies?

In 1941 she was assigned as an adviser to the SAS, and during operations in Egypt she met and fought alongside David Oh, who would become Major Tom/Zero and founder of The Patriots/Cipher. By mid-1942 she had assembled a small group of elite misfits into the Cobra Unit and were essential to the Soviet victory at the battle of Stalingrad. During the Normandy D-Day invasion, the Cobra Unit was assigned to take out German V2 missile silos. By the way, during this mission The Boss was nine months pregnant with the child of a Russian Cobra Unit member, The Sorrow, and so she ended up giving birth in the middle of a fucking firefight via an emergency C-section that resulted in the scar upon her chest seen in MGS3. This child, who was given the name Adamska, was taken away by the Philosophers and would grow up to become Revolver Ocelot.

After World War 2, what remained of the Philosophers Legacy was stolen by a Red Army officer because Russians are sneaky fuckers who can't be trusted with anything. He was in charge of laundering all the money and had split it up into multiple accounts in banks across the world. The proof of the transactions required to access the money in the first place were all stored on a single microfilm which was now being used exclusively for the Soviet Union's benefit. The Philosophers broke apart and divided into three factions: American, Russian, and Chinese.

Meanwhile, The Boss, despite losing her parents and only child now, saw no reason not to continue just punching in to work every day. The Cobra Unit was disbanded and in 1951, she participated in nuclear testing in Nevada, the effects of which rendered her infertile. She soon sympathized with a teenager named Jack, whose real name was actually John, because he also had his diddly bits ruined during nuclear testing at Bikini Atoll.

They fought in the Korean War and for years they trained as master and disciple in order to remember the basics of CQC.

Now if you thought losing her parents, child, and the ability to have another child was big enough of a shit sandwich you ain't seen nothing yet.

This went on until 1959, when the never-ending cycle of The Boss getting recruited to do something and then immediately getting fucked over continued. The Boss was recruited by the President for a top secret plan that involved bribing Russian scientists and intellectuals that were against the Communist regime into handing over the secret plans of their space projects 'n' shit.

The CIA didn't want to help so The Boss used Philosopher spy channels to infiltrate the Soviet Union to accomplish this. The CIA then took the credit for this when the top secret plans started rolling in. Upon inspecting the plans being sent over and realizing something was fucked up, The Boss requested clearance for a mission to investigate. The CIA thought she was just assmad they stole her credit from her, so she infiltrated the Soviet Union again, this time alone with no support to personally find the guy who sent the plans, only to find out the CIA didn't even bother going through with paying the fucker. The CIA then blamed The Boss for this fuckup to avoid bad blood between them and the newly inaugurated JFK.

The Boss was then chosen for Project Mercury to see how the human body handles being in space. Her experience from nuclear radiation in Nevada meant that there wasn't much to lose if she got fried by space radiation. The test would've gone smoothly, but some bureaucrat told NASA to slap a window on the ship at the last second. During her flight, the view of the Earth from space inspired The Boss's idea that the world should be whole, united as one. At the end of the flight however, that very flight fucked up her re-entry and caused her to crashland. She survived, but was stuck in a coma for six months. When asked why their top agent was out of commission, the military lied and said she participated in the Bay of Pigs invasion and got rekt.

By the time she recovered, her spy in the Soviet Union was discovered by the Soviet Philosophers and was converted to a double agent by The Sorrow, who had returned to Russia. Because the spy had betrayed the US for reals this time and not because he didn't get his paycheck from the CIA, The Boss was sent in to neutralize both him and The Sorrow. If she didn't, then the Philosophers would kill her son.

The Boss and The Sorrow confronted each other on the bridge, talked about old times, and talked about which one would be the one to die. The Sorrow decided he should be the one to go, and so The Boss killed the closest thing she had to a husbando.

In late 1962, The Boss was contacted by Major Zero and under the authority of the CIA they formed Force Operation X, the FOX unit. Other members of the unit would come to include Donald Anderson, aka SIGINT, who would become the Chief of DARPA, Dr. Clark, aka Para-Medic, and John, now Naked Snake.

While all of this bullshit was going on, the СУКА that stole the Philosopher's Legacy was busy dying and passing over the microfilm to his son, Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin, a colonel in the Russian GRU who wanted to overthrow Khrushchev.

Colonel Volgin used his limitless funds to build the military fortress of Groznyj Grad and fund the Shagohod project, which was only made possible by the brilliance of Dr. Nikolai Stepanovich Sokolov.

Dr. Sokolov grew to fear his creation, the Shagohod, a nuclear armed tank that can be deployed anywhere with three miles of flat terrain to allow it perform a rocket-boosted phase to launch an ICBM, and he defected to the West. His family was able to get out, but as a result of the Cuban missile crisis one of the Soviet Union's secret demands was that Sokolov be returned to them. The US did not know about the Shagohod yet so they complied. But in 1964, a mole working for The Boss revealed that the Shagohod project was nearing completion. And so the CIA decided it was time to retrieve both Sokolov and the Philosopher's legacy.

And here is where Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater starts, with the Virtuous Mission as a dual attempt to retrieve both Sokolov and the Philosopher's Legacy.

Also the reason Major Zero is able to inform you of so many things is because he has covert XOF units on the ground whose only purpose is to remain hidden, monitor the mission, and provide intel.

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The writer of this article has clearly never played Policenauts or Snatcher, he seems to have only played MGS4 and V. What a fag numale cuck

what are those pictures from

He is also unable to understand the purpose of Ocelot's arm in MGS4, he hasn't even played MGS2 for fucks sake. And if he were to play it he would call it "muh tinfoil conspiracy" or something else that liberals love spouting because they love that globalist dick too much.

why did you even apply

"Lately, there has been a lot of discussion about the representation of gender and race in the media and videogames in particular. How does Kojima view this?

“In my case, I don’t want to put things in my games just because they’re ‘trending’ issues; I want to only put them in because I judge they’re necessary for the story I want to tell. That’s not to say I’m not listening. It just means I’m not going to put them in the game to be tokenistic. The risk, otherwise, is these decisions become a marketing exercise. I don’t want to be led by marketing with regard to having to make every character a certain gender or race. I want to be led by what I want to make, by what is right for the story. I’m happy to be openminded during that process. That’s the way this should be approached, I think.”"

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wtf i love kayjimmyay now

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It reminds of this other article I saw about how Evangelion's Asuka is anti-semitic all because someone saw a picture of her with a MAGA hat and interpreted it literally, then got pretty much every mentioned detail about the show wrong. I'm wondering if the people who write wiki pages intentionally throw bullshit in so it'll be obvious when someone gets all their information there.

I remember some guy did that with a politician. They added a bunch of bullshit about his personal life to his Wiki page, and the next time he went on an interview they asked him about stuff that never even happened.

oh great , cuckchan is leaking again

It's like they want some sperg to shoot up their office.

As for the article, as a Kojimafag I will wholly admit that each game is flawed in their own way, but shit like "plot twist for no reason" gives me fucking ass cancer. Sage for outrage thread for an article almost a year old.

Reminder that the first three MGS games had Tomokazu Fukushima as a writer. 4 and V did not. I imagine Kojima is an ideas guy with a great team who reel in his dumbfuck ideas. The other writers for 4 and V didn't do that, so we got those games.

Kojipro is pretty much the nip version of id/Looking Glass. It required the full team's autism to put out good shit, and when the original team disbanded, their later works clearly reflected it.

Tomokazu Fukushima wasn't on for Snatcher and Policenauts so Death Stranding isn't yet entirely hopeless.

Every game become an even more convoluted mass a shit. MGS3 really started it, delving into the past and ruining some of the characters and mystique of the series, and then dwelling on them so much in future games, yet everyone chokes down on that game's cock like a faggot. It's embarassing. Kojima should have moved onto new IPs like he wanted to, too bad he was too much a weak bitch and kept getting cucked by Konami to make more Metal Gear.

Right. This is why nobody with a single, half functional brain cell can take SJWs seriously. We're just supposed to take their opinion as gospel without them even giving one shred of fucking support to their argument. We're to assume they're right just because they're part of The Party.
I also love how the author outright states they think saying a game is Japanese is just a way to excuse sexism because, as well know, the Japanese are all so horribly sexist. These people are so unbelievably racist it blows my mind, and I was born in a society where it's still okay to be openly racist.

He got death threats from the Yakuza towards him and his close ones, you would have done the same unless you wanted your head on a platter.

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Are you retarded or something? Lots of artists in japan get death threats from either corrupt yakuza or crazy otaku all the time.

I know he got death threats, but post a source to them being from the Yakuza.

Japan is gay and there are a ton of spergs in asia but this "le YAKUZAAAAA" meme needs to die already.

It's almost as if they have an interest in anything making big bucks

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MSS?

You didn't even read the thread now did you

as expected of shit-tasters

It's jewish conspiracy with exponentially less credibility.

what even is this post?