There's been recent news that Paramount Pictures is making a Duke Nukem movie...

There's been recent news that Paramount Pictures is making a Duke Nukem movie. Michael Bay will be producing and Duke will be played by a big star……….

Could be ok but it wont

The only chance this movie had of not sucking is being made in the 90s

(check'd)
the digits say it all

I think Michael Bay, despite being a terrible director, way a surprisingly good choice.
A Duke movie should be 90's-tier quips and mindless action, Bay does that well.

This is either going to be fantastic or fucking awful, there is no in-between.
It needs to be a R-rated movie, seeing Cena say "eat shit and die" while goring aliens would be first entertaining thing I'd see in a cinema in a decade.

Michael Bay is only producing it.

fug
I never thought I've be upset to hear that Bay isn't directing a movie.

The entire point of Duke Nukem is to be awful you cucks, you sound like the fags who didn't enjoy Forever just because it was a modern fps and showed Duke as the icon of masculinity he is, the movie is meant to be mindless meme action, that's the entire point of the franchise, it was Doom except shitposting, except now thanks to Bethesdaniggers Doom really is shitposting.

He's just going to end up playing Command and Conquer halfway through.

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Oh my fuck

This. The movie is screwed.

fuck this

You just know they're going to set Duke up with a female co-star who will teach him that "women are just as capable as men" and he should stop being so chauvinistic. And if we do get a strip club scene, it'll probably be tame as shit.

It will be a 'self referential' male strip club where the female costar humailiates some men while duke covers his eyes.
Then the female costar will shoot 99% of the zombies, not aliens because aliens don't market well these days.
Duke will fall backwards and drop his gun, which will go off and ricochet 15 times off pots and pans until it hits a zombie in the back of the head, then the female costar will say "there you go, one for you ;-)" and the film will end on her face smirking.

Never thought i'd hear myself saying this, but fuck why isn't this movie being directed by Uwe Boll.

His original stuff was much better than his adaptions. Still, if anyone could make Duke Nukem into a film it'd be him.

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Blow it out'ch yer ass

Don't give them ideas, studio probably using an AI to scrap all ironic pastas and file them as genuine fan wishlist.