KnightQuest: Part 17 - Bad Decision

Strike her down with whatever you can find in your knight pockets/sheathe

Knights have pockets?
That would have been SO useful to know earlier.

"We should get moving." Valarie says "Which direction do you think we should head in? Toward or away from the cries for help? Oh wait, that's right, they're all around us and are annoying the hell out of me."

check for skelebro by screams

Check inventoiry

Roll to see what direction we take
0-5 Toward
6-9 Away

Rape Valarie.

...

Rollin'

Inventory:
Lewd Dragon Book
History Book
Nercro(phillia)mancy book
"Calcium and You - A guide to Healthy Bones" Book
"O" Book
Ghost Knife
Boxatrix
Speaking Stone
Rooted Boots
Broken Sword
Broken Sword Pieces
Some rope

Toward it is!
You head in the direction of the screams, some of them anyway, in search of Wellington.
You walk for what seems like some time without seeing even a single (whole) skeleton, thus decide to rest by some poor tortured soul, maybe have a picnic.

"P-please, could you pass me that fish. I am so hungry and I cannot reach it." the soul begs.

fuck you, finders keepers.
Actually have you seen a really cool skeleton?

"You deny a starving man a meal that has been out of his reach for many years, then you demand he answer your questions?" the soul asks "I am sorry, I had thought you were another soul such as I. No… You are indeed a demon."

"Close." Valarie smirks "Just an idiot. Though, they have been torturing me for some time."

Kiki coos quietly in intrigue at the stranger.

JEEZ FINE, ITS NOT LIKE I HAVENT HAD A BAD DAY OR SOMETHING.

KIKI, GIVE THE MAN HIS STUPID FISH.

Kiki struggles to pick up the fish with her wings and instead opts to pick it up with her talons instead and hops over to the soul.
The soul gasps and flicks his long hair behind his head.
"Karane? Is it really you?" the soul wimpers "Oh! Karane! It is you! My daughter! My darling!"
He grabs Kiki and embraces her.
"Oh, my daughter! You are in rags! And you are in such a horrible place… It seems I have failed you."

Valarie pulls a face to imply she's gagging, but you quickly scold her with a hand gesture.

Wow kiki, thanks for introducing me.
Rude.

sorry its just me, I'm trying to give it time before acting

No prob, bob. You can post a command straight away, keeps the thread alive. I usually wait 5-10 mins before writing and drawing anyway.
Oh geez, has everyone else left already? At least a few people posted on that other one.

Throw out the Lewd Dragon Book after masturbating to it

Y-yes. Because you've never done that before, even once.

You wonder why Kiki never mentioned him.
"I dunno this guy. Never met him before!" Kiki blurts out.
"Y-you don't know me?" the soul asks, devestated "Oh! Those fiends! What did they do to my poor, sweet Karane?"

"You probably wanna get your buttbuddy away from him." Valarie chuckles "He's probably crazy. Been down here too long."
"Young woman, I most certainly have not!" the soul protests "I am King Rotherick Blackwing the Eighth, or at least, I was. That was before that bastard King of Sheran declared war on our Kingdom and scattered my kin."

"Been there, done that." Valarie scoffs.

Seems nobody's gonna post any more tonight. We'll resume 10pm GMT Saturday

Shall we resume?

Stick your dick in the fish and remember the good ol' days

No… You left those days are behind you when you started this quest.

Jump in and give them both a hug. Hugs solve every problem.

This seems like a very private moment between a father and his daughter…

…which can only be improved by your intrusion!

You go to hug the everloving SHIT out of the two, but you slip on the ice and fall flat on your ass.
Everyone laughs at you.
You feel a fool.

What happened to the rest of the party? This is my first time being in one of these threads and it seems like it got narrowed down to two loony chicks

Act like you meant to do that, you're no fool probably

What said but to be more specific use your beak to break the ice and see if you can chip away at it or something

Basically, you all finally made it to the Dragon's mountain home, where you met Kiki (The Harpy) and K'tyr (A nervous mouse).
You found out you couldn't stick yer dick in the dragon, so you used Graveyar's boxatrix in desperation, which opened a portal to hell and sucked you all in.

You insist that it is all part of your plan and repeatedly smash your face into the ice.

"Give it up." Valarie sighs "This is ice. In hell. The hottest place imagineable. That shit's gotta have some sort of magical enchantment or something. There's no way you could-"

A huge chuck of ice breaks off from the rest.

Well waddaya know.
Protagonist powers activate.

Claim the ice as yours

Reminisce about your old skeleton friend and keep pecking the ice… and then maybe Valarie for doubting you.

Brag about what you just did. They're the fools for doubting your ice breaking skills.

You take the largest chunk of ice as your prize, and keep it between your legs for safe keeping.

You move your arms into optimal position so that they won't get in the way of your ice mining and in fact strengthen your posture and hits.
You bend your knees to bring you closer to the ice, thus reducing a minor amount of wind resistance to your movements.

Your powers are immense!
Who looks the idiot now, Valarie!?

Give the ice a mighty peck that would pierce the heavens

Register that as a new battle and utility skill.
Now ask where the skeleton is.

Burrow through the ice and defeat satan

You give the ice an almighty headbut and completely shatter it!

"Huh, wow. Wonder why I didn't try that." Rotherick ponders

You're not entirely sure what to call this skill, considering it's brand new, so you opt to just call it what it is - "Spicy noggin bonk"

You ask Rotherick if he's seen Wellington.
"Oh, the skeletons usuallu congregate around the wallks, clambering to get out." he directs "Not sure why. Perhaps they weren't skeletons when they started walking."

ask skeletons what's going on

Hey OP, what are the rules for quests on Holla Forums? What's been your experience doing them so far? I tried one on Holla Forums awhile ago, but it was very slow to keep things going.

Onward to the Skeletons! Thank the two for their help and go onward with your new power in mind.

People hate them, mostly. This is my first one. Proabably shoulda done it on /tg/ tbh.

Wait, really? Why is that? I don't think you'd fare any better on /tg/. It's gotta be even slower than here or Holla Forums.

Weeeell, I'm exaggerating a bit. But I get a few "Stop it with this shit." posts per thread.
/tg/ is the true home of quest threads, really.

You holler at the skeletons, but they're either too far away to hear or they don't respect you enough to respond.
Either way you're gonna need to go over there.

"Heheh. He fell over." Kiki chukles

Add Rotherick to the party and go there.

Go beat up those skellies. Tell them there dead mothers are skeleton hookers.

Beat up everyone, become a solo guy

"Ah, alas, I have remained here for so long my legs have withered away. I cannot move." Rotherick sighs "Even if I could, I am dead, I cannot leave. Though, while I am not sure, you seem positively alive.

Seriously though, it's like I've been skipping leg day for ten thousand years."

You tell Rotherick to hold your hoops and start walking toward the walls.
"Very well, I wish you luck in finding your friend." he says "Look after my daughter or I'll haunt you forever."

"Hey should we just leave him here?" Valarie asks "He can't even walk."
"Wormy can look after him!" Kiki chirps as she calls the Death Borer over "Look after Rubber ring for me, Wormy!"

As you walk to the wall, you hear Rotherick cry out in the distance.
"Oh by Urthir, it's tuna!? I've been waiting ten thousand years for tuna? I really am in hell!"

Sorry this took so long to post. Dropped my pen and couldn't find it for ages

scream wellingtons name

No response

Pop off one of the skeleton's heads and interrogate them for information on Wellington.

Inform them if they pile on top of one another they might get out faster

"Ahhhh"

"It- It looks like they're uh… ah…" Valarie gulps "J-just empty shells. You won't get a res-sponse unless it's Wellington."

You tell them about your ingenious idea.
"But if the bone men fall apart on top of eachother, how will they know how to put the right parts on themselves?" Kiki asks

"If I wasn't still thinking about skeletons p-piling themselves on one another I'd come over there and slap the stupid right out of you" Valarie says

Start pissing on every skeleton until one of them complains. That's how we'll find Wellington

Valarie slowly walks over to you and looks you straight in the eye (or at least approximately where they should be).

"If you try pissing on any one of these. I will hurt you. I am not joking. I am deadly fucking serious." she says with an eerie calmness "I have just realised I am touching this skull. I am going to have to sit down for a bit."

IM SICK OF YOU SHIT LOLI, YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING FUN

Now we pout.

Convince one of the skellingtons that it actually isn't an empty shell and that it should help you find your bony companion. After all all skellingtons are friends, and should be able to tell each other apart.

Piss on Valarie to show your the dominant alpha male

Valarie sits down for a minuite to calm herself.

Gosh! Why's it always gotta be about her disgusting fetishes?

"I don't understand what's going on." Kiki complains
You tell her it's something she's gonna have to get used to.

You pick a random skeleton and get all pally with it.
Your mildly boneist assumption leads you to temporarily replace Wellington with a less than adequate skeleton.

How many skeletons are there? Like 10? Go up to each one and poke them or make forcible eye contact.

Use skeleton's hand to bitch slap Valarie.

Then tell your new skeleton to recruit another skeleton, then to tell the skeleton he recruits the same thing. By the end of it, we'll have all the skeletons recruited to our team.

Wear a skeleton

Too many to count. or copy paste, while remaining visually appealing

"Ahn~"
That noise made you feel very uncomfortable.

You tell the Skeleton to begin some sort of plan to recruit skeletons, then have them recruit more and so on, like some sort of structured shape scheme that is incredibly legal and will work.

The skeleton just blankly stares back.

(checked)
You try and fit into your new friend's ribcage, but only succeed in breaking a rib off and bruisng yourself quite severely.

Kiki seems to have taken an interest in the wall.

Ask Kiki to fly up the wall to see what's up there

Attach broken rib to top of helm, become uniknight

KIIKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

whachu ponderin over there

And have her take a skelebro up there with her

"The wall's all red! We don't have red walls at home."

You attempt to attatch the rib, but it disintigrates in seconds

You have Kiki scout near the Wall's top for Wellington, along with the skull of your replacement bonebuddy.

"Hi."

Ask Wellington what the hell is he doing at the top of the wall.

Can we switch the skulls and being Wellington's skull back down to put on one of the other bodies?

Also tell Wellington that Valarie is making googly eyes at the other boneheads down here,

"What're you doing in the pit? I think is the better question." he responds "Also, who are you, little harpy?"

"Ohh, you're with the Knight. Also no, you can't switch my skull. Gross."

Kiki informs Wellington about the undead sluttoberfest Valarie is about three coxyxes away from throwing.

"At least it's not me for once."

Kiki is Kiki!

Have Kiki look at what's outside the pit. And ask Wellington if there is a way to get us out without having Kiki fly each of us up. Don't want to tire her out.

Stack up the skeletons and climb out.

You're dying to say "I'VE GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU", this is probably going to be the best situation to use it.

"Kiki is Kiki… I see…"

Outside the pit is simply the work area from where you entered.

You are far too heavy for Kiki to even consider lifting you.
Under normal circumstances, Valarie could simply fly out, but she is trying to lay low.

You spout your incredible line, while throwing the skeleton's arm.
It follows, but sits down and just reaches up the side of the wall.

The skeletons are somewhat uncooperative.

Now seems a fine time to pause as I am getting super tired. Really liking the enthusiasm this week.
No thread next week, unfortunately, as I am away. KnightQuest will resume in 2 weeks at Friday 10pm GMT

Have fun OP. Love your threads even if I only end up reading them right when they end.

Fuck the girl.

You started these last year right? I feel like its been ages.

Thanks bruh. It's comments like these that keep me doing these threads.

The date on the third thread is January 29th of this year. So I started 2 weeks before that, making the first one 15/1/16.
Not last year, but pretty damn close.

Oh fuck yeah knight quest thread

Oh fuck me knight quest thread was already over. this is the dark souls of knight quest