HAN SOLO

We predict the plot of this disaster

MORE LIKE HAN SOYLO AMIRITE

The movie is called "Solo" but I bet he's not the center of the story.

/ourguy/ af tbh

He meets his Dad (Kurt Russell) who turns out to be a planet with godlike powers.

He is a dorky loser who gets made into who he is by a stronk female of colour.

he was the chosen one before being unpluged from the matrix, wich is how he learn to dodge bullets
ever since then he has never had to shoot first again

How he met her and that Finn is his son as well.

A deadbeat loser that let Luke Skywalker attempt to murder his son in his sleep with no consequence?

Disney isn't that based

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He is not a dorky loser who is afraid of fighting, is he? So there is it, I'm not saying he is your fucking dream daddy. Fag.

InB4 they show the Kessel run because they're too dumb to understand that Han made up that story.

How he met Chewie, got the falcon, and did the Kessel run.

Han didn’t make it up. Even in the EU there was a Kessel Run. Why do people want Han Solo to be a bullshit artist?

This most likely. Dubs confirm.

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He looks like that hwiny kid from attack on titan.

Because he was like that until he met Kenobi, Luke and Leia.

Why is it called the millenium falcon when george set out to make a new universe with new monsters. There are no falcons in sw thats earth lingo. It should be called millenium womp rat. And the doors go womp when he hits overdrive. It writes itself why do they have to mess with it

No, he wasn’t. He was a smuggler who used to shoot people. He preferred fighting to sneaking around and had no tact when talking to the guards. Finally he just shot the console. He was never a bullshit artist. He was always extremely direct about what he thought.

Watch Ben's facial expression during the scene.
Because he was a no-good bullshit-artist with criminal connections who redeemed himself when he actually did something good and saved Luke and the galaxy and became a good person afterwards, thus leading a happy life when he married the princess and became the hero of the Galaxy.

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"Someone will tell her brave story one day'
*hint hint* for new movie

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Darth Vader cameo is already confirmed.

Alec Guinness smirking doesn’t mean shit.


He tells Greedo he’s got a job where he can get the money. He’s fully planning to pay Jabba back. And he’s also stalling for time as he gets ready to shoot him. You guys have such little understanding of the character you must be writers for the movie.

Pottery!

He became JUST Solo in TFA after Leia cucked him with that purple haired lesbian who appeared in TLJ.

Was Shay Labuff too busy for this role?

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It could still happen

What did they mean by this?

It's from Ährenreich, which means rich in wheat ears, so it's rich landowners.

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Even Pratt would have made a better young Han, honestly.

In the original script Han was supposed to be talking bullshit technobabble to Obi-Won and Luke in order to impress them. EU autists made up a backstory for every little detail in the OT, even for characters in the background in one scene. I guess the Kessel run will be canon now. EU is still superior to SoyWars, but lets not kid ourselves, it was 70% trash, 20% okay-ish, and 10% good.

A few months ago some user posted an interesting idea how the Kessel run could be incorporated into the move an not be terrible. Basically, it involved Kessel being a space drag race involving smuggling goods that gets out of control when the Empire catches wind of it.

You know what ol' Han Solo always says in a time like this?

Fuck off, Wendig.


At least most of it wasn't pozzed trash. It was just the silly kind.

It’s all in the reflexes

Holy shit, Jack Burton was just Han Solo in a Western Chinese kung fu movie.

porgs

No amount of reshoots or good directing could unfuck that ugly mug into a competent and likable actor.

Han Solo learns his stuff from women lol

George started this whole downward death spiral of Star Wars with that ridiculous shit right there.

why didnt they just recast him once it was found out he couldnt act???

The bar had already been set at Hayden Christensen

If it looks like the movie is having trouble with it's star character, people might not see it. It's more profitable to keep the shitty actor in and pretending that everything is fine.

also the kessel run stuff was obviously bullshit. He said he did it in parsecs which measures distance which makes no fucking sense especially considering how warp makes distances pointless too

If both ships travel at same speed, lightspeed, then navigating a shorter path would get the Falcon there quicker… a smaller ship should be able to navigate more perilous routes and be less sensitive to gravity wells than a large Imperial cruiser, in other words, he took a lot of short cuts

Implying he wasn’t bullshitting Luke

Who would win?

wow he saved so much in fuel costs then oh wait no he didn't shit except like 20 minutes of time lmfao

Soos has 2 guns and Ollo is unarmed.

It's not a fair fight.

That’s almost as dumb as to cgi facial hair off than shave an actor

It's not lightspeed, it's hyperspace. LS would take years. And I doubt anyone uses Cruisers for an asteroid race.

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And in the original script Luke Skywalker was fifty years old and a Jedi.

Ollo because he's big and has a long stdick.

So Smokey and the Bandit in space

Expect Han winning the Falcon from Lando in a game of Sabacc, doing the Kessel Run and dumping his cargo before getting boarded by imperials, thus getting into debt with Jabba. Also expect Woody Harrelson to be a carbon copy of Yondu.

Why would they cast such a fugly jewish goblin?

But Nan isn't alone. ;)

Because he was discovered by Steven Spielberg at a bar mitzvah

han solo gets cucked and has to go on a quest to prep the bull
rates e for everyone

>which is a whiter type of kangmroe evil that rules others like him
>turns out the Anti-Khaaang is Lando full CGI

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BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN
THERE IS AN EVEN GREATER WOMAN

Uh, you don't get to bring friends.

Honestly I'd watch it if Burt Reynolds was Solo's dad.

seemless