Meanwhile, in medieval Holla Forums…

The confection. It is a falsehood.

>19th century sabre replica
>Medieval

Step aside, you insolent fool. Your toothpick will do you no good here.

Behold, a Tartar tapestry displaying the smuggest of maidens, vile heathens.

Return to the Reddit caliphate, before we burn it to the ground.

All across God's kingdom know that the composite bow is perfection.

posteth thine visage when thou art not anthony burche

What is taking him so long? We sent him a royal invitation two days ago! I would ask the guardsman outside if he arrived, but he seems to have simply vanished, along with the guard dog…

I wrote epic poems of armed conflicts between thy old kindoms, for your interest.

Autism alert: that is not a medieval castle.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuschwanstein_Castle

This is.

Thank you.

After consulting with the peers of the realm, King Harlaus has decided to confer the fief of Halmar on King Harlaus.

That looks nice

Hast thou knaves purchased Aftereffect 4?
Tis an excellent game.

Slay yourself, knave Howard! I am beyond your treachery, you vile wench.

yeah no, OP

Begone, knave

Hark! I cometh to reveal arithmetic patterns!

Arithmetic is HERESY.

daily revelation that the TheatreBarrack IV still not haveth any squires

Behold, I set mine eyes upon thee and discover that thou is mine serf.

A merchant just sold me a broken amusement!

Jews did the plague.

You knaves would not recognize a real girl if she fired at you.

Thy maiden is trash

THINE AMUSEMENTS ART COMPARABLE TO HORSE DUNG IN APPEARANCE, AND IDENTICAL IN AROMA. WHY HAST THOU NOT TAKEN UPON THE NOBLE PURSUIT OF ARCANE MASTERY?

-WIZARD

Thine betrothed is rubbish, and your tastes in amusements those of a peasant.

Thine acts of magicks are of heresy. Remove thine self before thou hast been removed by thee!

JEWS
E
W
S

Begone from these lands, foul conjurer. Thou art not but chaff and trickery in the eyes of our lord.

And you, little sir! Were your stature as tall and empty as your repute thou wouldst fall over a blade of grass

this is why swadians suck so much

Prythee fine sirs, how dost thou quench thine thirst?
I find the waters of our Lord to be my beverage of choice whenever I may need sustenance.

...

yiffe

[confused gutural noises and throat singing]

Torquemada, get the whip.

REMOVE THINE WALLS, MY BROTHER WORKS FOR THE POPE

Yeah, right, and I am a royal consort to the King of England.

thine taste is inferior to my own

Begone vile Phinnoi

i wanna fucking die

I am from the 401st Century of our Lord, what is this heresy?

Go back and bugger the beasts, heretic.

Unga bunga rockstop

Ah, an escaped servant. We'll escort you back to the sub saharan continent

The Finnish barbarians shalt never conquer our sacred lands!

I have buggered men.

bosom or fat bottoms in your common harlots, brothers?

hast thou had thy daily dose?

Firstly, my maiden is not a harlot, you lover of negroid males

Secondly, i prefer breasts.

Much appreciatation, oh bringer of medicine.

Thou tastes are shite. Billhook is clearly superior in every way.

What do, Holla Forums?

Do you take me for one of casual tastes?

In any case, a maiden of fine, egg-laying hips is best.

Behold mine fellow Holla Forumsirgins, as I regale you with a tale of mine own experience!

Unbelievable is it not!? I hath been lead to believe that only independent smiths had fallen to such low practices, but my brother in arms Jeremy spoke forsooth, that even the large publishers of fine-arms have begun to offer 'early access' as well!

Surely, something is being done to stop this vile practice!?

Nay, brother. I hail from the far future, and the merchant class yet thrives in our world!

UHH þICNESSA?

Is that peasant outside of window really shouting how he lord is superior?
Last time I saw him he used this guy to plow the field using his face.
Fucking shillaber. This guy must be paid by someone.

I bet local moneylender is somehow involved in this.

Where do I poop in this place?

what is thine filth doing in my land.
get back to thine land of loos and spices pajeet before i strike thee with the wrath of god.

my blunder

FUCKING KILL ME

Brothers, join me in a crusade most righteous!

We shall put the followers of Yiffe to the fire and bring ruin to their corrupted kind!

Cometh over and fornicate with the beasts. Thou art fine maidens.

It is far too soon in timeline for us to start redefining word like "fine" to our liking.

Can I point out that Neuschwanstein is a renaissance era building, and not medieval. Shit thread OP.

Holy fuck even later

This means the fucking industrial revolution was happening, you couldn't be less medieval.

Alright whose dog is this

...

...

...

'Twas the king's order to lay the dragon. It is not mine fault that I follow through!

This seems somewhat relevant.

WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE

...

Hold yourselves simpletons of lesser berth. For who amongst thine ravel could hope to best me. In what unbowed fantasy can thy wtiches hope to beat a true sir of noble birth such mineself

Does thou know hwat a papyrus is?

I did not make it, only saved it.

...

Has any person partaken in the game of the regent? It doth hath enormous ability to partake in once more!

court fellow men disguised as maidens in place

Is it the error of my own ways that wyrms were made superior to wenches, or that of God?

Is thine brain riddled with plague?

Our lord doth state "slay the dragon" not "lay the dragon".

surely thou doeth not take me for a Greek? Away with you!

it is not greek or queer, thou have to trust me

EXCUSE ME, HALT THYSELF

SO THOU BE AFFIRMING

If thine body hath the nether regions of a man. And ye lay with said man. THOUGH ARE A QUEER!

*Sharpens Rapier*

THAT OUR KIN

MINE ART ROYALTY

*Conquers Iberia*
WAS, FOR A PERIOD OF TIME

Yes.

Well, 'tis too late now. If our lord did not wish us to covet the dragon's arse, it would not be so wide.

Hear, hear

गंदगी खाने

CARRIER PIGEON "GAMES" ARE NOT REAL GAMES

ANY MAN WHO PLAYS THE SATANIC "GAME" OF CATCHING SATAN'S OWN DEMONS VIA CARRIER PIGEON SHALL BE EXILED FROM THE LAND

CHORTLE

MIRTH

...

Enjoy you're cholera faggot while I enjoy only the finest French wines

Fucking noblemen

He'll trip around chasing me when i break into his abode to loot his goods, Good enough

A fine armor you have there, sir!
Did thou procure it from the same blacksmith as me?

Nay. Though I hath partaken in the games of hunger. Heed my words, they are bovine excrement.

Neuschwanstein was built in the 19th century you retard

regards, /his/

Behold!
Scandalous portraits of such beasts!

I pox on thee! For whenst my lascivious serpent did spy upon thoust detestable of creation did I cry out! Oh mercy of the heavens! Is there no respite for man betwixt mortal cravings so loathing as to make a mockery of His word?

...

Thine compression assaults my eyes.

Mine visage when I art not the Count of Cuckoldry

Hīerstu! Is hēr ǣnig þe Englisce spricþ?

now that's some proper old shit right there

Has anyone been playing "pocket dragon; get the fuck out of my castle"?

be there any character in theatre who can defeat hercules?

/his/ /hers/, ye gods xad or xady, tis the 15th century. the sexes are satanic french illusions so sayeth the tumbling scrolls

...

Wel, wel… Saga lā þætte þū þenċest.

Catholicism is gay and if 't be true thee believeth in wend alas yourself wench.

- Sir Martin Luther

...

It doth really make one ponder

Hark! I bring a tale of tragedy from the Franklands.

According to the monks, a lone Saracen managed to run through many a peasant with some sort of horseless wagon.

Post your maiden of interactive amusements.

I dare say, knave. You might possibly have the worst affections in maidens.

...

Maiden of thou is of bovine droppings.

By the lord! That parchment must have been used a dozen times before. It looks like pile of pig manure.

HAH! And what do you buggers of male anuses declare to be your maidens? I doth already declare your maidens to be harlots no better than manure!

Catch me onii-chan!

Inscribe the character "F" upon yonder communal parchment to yield thine due regards and condolences.

Speak the Lord's English you weeb afflicted peasant, least ye return to the Isle of Orients.

Hark, brother. T'would be said "else ye return"., but thine mind art addled with consternation. 'Tis a sickness borne from boos o' the wea. I shall make thee a tincture with dilutions from the poppy to alleviate thine burden.

Maiden of thineself is of pure, blessed by the gods of beauty. Maiden of thou is of filthy peasantry.

What thou is this magick?

Thou's maiden is a talkative wench who needs to learn to keep her mouth shut
as for me, I find myself liking mythical creatures of lore

Gaze upon him. Gaze upon him and guffaw.

Listen! I come from the future bearing ill tidings! Your descendants will become fat sluggards who work not and covet drawn slatterns instead of real wenches. They will hold no rank and lose all noble titles. They will do nothing but argue over paltry amusements while the foreign hordes invade your birthlands Your bloodlines will end in disgrace! You must change- I'm being pulled back! NO!

Guards! This man seeks to defile an angel of the lord! Detain him for vile degeneracy at once!

Mine most favoured interactive moving picture tis far superior to the trite rubbish that is thine.

I laugh at you and your pitiful attempts at deceipt

Thou should know only pure angels are fit for breeding

Forsooth, pray tell didst thee just sayeth about me, thee dram wench? i’ll has't thee knoweth i graduat'd an elite knight in the templars, and i’ve been involv'd in num'rous crusades, and i has't ov'r 300 confirm'd kills. i am trained in skirmishes and i’m the most prestigious archer in the entire civilized world. thou art nothing to me but just anoth'r target. i shall wipeth thee out with precision the likes of which hast nev'r been seen bef're on this earth, marketh mine own w'rds. thee bethink thee can receiveth hence with declaring yond the horror to me ov'r the communal parchment? bethink again. as we speaketh i am contacting mine own secret netw'rk of spies across Europe and thine scribery is being trac'd even but now so thee bett'r prepareth f'r the st'rm, maggot. the st'rm yond wipes out the pathetic dram thing thee calleth thy life. you art dead, peat. i can beest anywh're, anytime, and i can killeth thee in ov'r seven hundr'd ways, and that’s just with mine own bareth hands. not only am i extensively did train in unarm'd combat, but i has't access to the entire arsenal of the Queen and i shall useth t to its full extent to wipeth thy mis'rable rampallian off the visage of the continent, thee dram the horror. if 't be true only thee couldst has't known what unholy retribution thy dram “clev'r” comment wast about to bringeth down upon thee, haply thee wouldst has't did hold thine tongue. but thee couldn’t, thee didn’t, and user you’re paying the price, thee goddamn clotpole. i shall be a harbinger of fury all ov'r thee and thee shall drowneth in mine rage. you’re art dead, child.

Thou's maiden doth pure.

Thou art a heretic and thou art not mine negro!

Looks like a saber.

"Click click… Plok plok"
*Farts and swats flies around him*
"Click click pop pop"

HOL UP

Brethren humble rebellion will take place we shath exact our revenge on the average opressors chadles and stacia will pay dearly for thine transgressions

the work of the one who consorts with beasts…

KAAAANGZ AND SHITE

A duel then, heathen?

失せろ白愚かな馬鹿!!!!

アホ自分を殺します

Post thine visage when not having made donations to the interactive tome Number 9 of the Mightiest.

What sorcery be that? A wagon without a horse? You jest Sir.

How could such a foul contraption and the saracen even be allowed within the wall of yon city? Hath thine city guard been merry and drunk?

Sultan Mooot to the peasants of Holla Forums:

As the Sultan; brother of the chosen few; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of /s/, Holla Forums, /d/, /wsg/ and /gif/; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary merchant, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Zion; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; founder and great defender of 4Chan- I command you, the peasants of the village of Holla Forums, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

Sultan of 4Chan: Moot

[muffled cheeki breeki in the distance]

Ther nay canned crosset wheel.
Pickupp tree. Heee! Haaaar!
Hnnnnnng!
*Splash
Yar, stream. Tayk a wae arr houp ta fridum.
Streem saes mort force it than us lads.

What shai wii two what moo aor logts awaae?

Yay we keel thie wartrrr.
*Constructs excessively impressive dam over extended period in order to cross stream, forms entire town in order to do so. Then with much pomp crosses the stream, and places log bridge across dam, walks over it. Walks back again. Continues journey. Stops. Squints. Releases damn. Places another set of logs. Logs move.

Thee soresry weet follo bak m-hen.

*And the streams direction becomes a quest to slay the Impeder of Progress. The reaon for crossjng the bridge is resisted in temptation, the Daughter and King of opposing country are insulted and war ensues.

*Victorious in their quest to defeat the water beast, which was a giant whale trapped in a mountain lake because of a tornado. The valiant men return, along with the whale they have named Stewart, whom they affectionately douse with water and consider to be lord of the sea come to the land in adventure and in search of glory already have made things right through the entire ocean.

Because 'tis the yeare of our Lord 1257?

...

HARK, I verily ask unto thee, what interactive electricity has thou been enjoying in recent nights?

We have truly failed the Lord above.

TIS THE NIGHT OF FRIGE, MOTHERPLOWER

'Tis not that I am one who covets the bodies of other men! Nay! 'Tis simply the only way to redeem ones manhood after he hath been cuckolded.

Alas, this did not stave off mine impending depression. At least, I do declare, that I am not Lord Anthony of House Burch, for mine Nintendo Wii be in it's proper place atop mine pedestal.

Hie thee, redditor. Back to your plague-stricken hamlet of sodomy.

Covet the arse of your eastern tapestries, and know ye never to be cuckolded by her.

...

Hebrews and Moors - ill omen!

...

Greetings?

Pray tell who else would thy be?

BE NOBLEMAN AND FECAL MATTER

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