Adventure

You wake up on the beach after a long nap. Your brain is still foggy and your body feels a little stiff. What is your name?

dubs decide. no re-rolls.

Tootsy McSwab

Lanter Sinderblock

Michael Hunt.

Ben Dover

fugg the lugg

I know what I must do

gary johnson

gary johnson will win the election

John Macaby

natural harem building

in any situation you are placed in, you have an uncanny ability to always end up building a harem of diverse qt grills

Alter ego of donald trump

having sex with little girls

based

I love this questmaster, he makes the best shit tbqhwy

you know every name of every actor in the show Friends, even extras

What is capable?

one image is a banner

Despite some fallout with your parents, you like to think your innate skill to command women as your God given right. It's your sworn duty to give those bitches a healthy serving of vitamin D. Who better to make sure they get their dosage than you?

What is your secret weapon?

Overdosing on Ritalin

Allah and his prophet PBUH

I still have some of the stuff saved

potion an old man gave you a long time ago, you dont know what it does

A duel disk

fucking pony threads making it hard to time gets smh

get steal

you moderate an imageboard
your secret weapon is bans

you get a nice hammer

sound money and a balanced budget

suck a mean dick

6 pokeballs

tax cuts and legal weed

Thor's hammer

a wacom tablet
you can use it to draw or smack people on the head with it

god damn it.

this guys life is great

winrar

You have an uncanny liking for legal weed. You think Seth Rogen is a fat faggot for promoting illegal use of this substance and for being fat. MJ is a special medicine for those who know it's true power. You always keep a spare pack on you. In the blink of an eye, you smoke a bowl while cutting taxes. One does not happen without the other.

Now that that's all out of the way, what do you do next?

Mermaids come and suck you off

look around the island

...

dig into the sand, look for rare shit

no rerolls faggot

Kill myself for being such a degenerate.

Search for food

You dig around the beach seeing what you can find. After digging through your share of holes, you come out with some loose change and an axe head.

What do you do now?

go to the tiny people shop and spend the pennies for sweet ass tiny people hookers, and add them to your harem

You go to the tiny shop to "rent" out some more hookers. Uh oh. The owner, Mr. Harden, greets you with a nice scowl on his face. It seems he remembers you from last time. You still have the change, but you aren't sure if he's going to accept it.

What do you do?

Barter with sand

Convince him to join my harem

just end it all. kill yourself.

do a handstand, flashing your junk in the process

Create a harem to quickly seduce him and then I'll fuck his butthole.

Beautiful

A tingling sensation builds from deep inside you. There's a change in the air, and you know the polarity of your internal chick magnet has been switched from "repel" to "attract." Nearby babes start to gather around you.

Mr. Harden begins to blush unconuncleably. He stares for longer than he should, but since you're around the girls don't even notice. He says he'll give you anything you want.

What do you do?

Tell him to give me his entire hooker army.

double-dick high five

A rocket propelled chainsaw launcher.

Have the girls from your harem castrate him and start cooking his body for meat.

Then you order the girls to play some soccer with his decapitated head.

His butthole virginity and 37 watermelons.

Ask for a handle for your axe head, and a sacrifice to test the new axe.

His dick, my moth.

Leave.
Start a new more meaningful life.

nice

God damn it.
The one time I get dubs..

You reach into your pocket and pull it your trusty moth. You hand it to Mr. Harden and tell him to give your moth his dick. He complies all to readily as he ducks behind the counter. You hear terrified moth noises before they come to an abrupt end. Mr. Harden appears back up and wipes the remnants of your moth on the counter. He shrugs and says that was all that was left.

What do you do?

Good going faggot.

Demand a new moth.

Avenge your moth

Have my harem attack him for damaging my property

Cremate the moth, then turn the ashes into a diamond.

Ejaculate with the force of a 1,000 suns across his face

Both great but check for 88

OP here. It's getting late, but I still want to do more. We'll continue the quest tomorrow.

heh

Well, it's tomorrow, user. Show us what you got

Sexually Confused Coconut

snort the moth and jump out the window

I'll seriously kill myself if you don't come back, OP.

Rolled 9 (1d9)
You don't have much money to take your beloved moth to a funeral home, so you make do with what you've got. You put your small friend in a small coffin you kept in your back pocket. Pulling out a package of your dankest kush, you stick a bushel underneath the wooden box enclosing your moth. You say one last goodbye as you light a joint and put on top of the coffin. Being the best there is, the MJ bush catches fire and burns everything down to ashes.

Not wanting your moth's death to be in vein, you attempt to make it's remaining ashes into a diamond:

It's a major success! You inadvertently summon a huge diamond from deep within the Earth's crust using the moth's ashes. The diamond just so happens to come up directly beneath Mr. Harden's shop, causing the building to collapse and crush him. It looks to big too carry.

What do you do?

A giant turtle that shoots lazer beams out of it's ass.

You get the harem to push the diamond over and fuck his dead body.

Wear Harden's toupe to prove your dominance over any surviving midget whores.

You command your harem to push the diamond over. They push and push, but it doesn't even budge an inch. You'd help, but you can't help but enjoy the view from where you're standing. There are now two things here as hard as a diamond.

What do you do?

Orgy to celebrate

Rolled 6 (1d9)
You propose having an orgy with the ladies

The women overpower you and steal your godforsaken power to command them - leaving you with a submissive aura so strong that it brings out the passionate, loving dominance in every woman near you, and the little boy in every other man. It is irreversible.

The girls approve of your decision, but they say you can't take too long because they have things to do today. They get into their standard formation, butt stacked upon butt. "Come here, tiger. Show us who's the real animal here." You line up behind the three of them and proceed to bang them in every orifice, your dick accumulating all of their distinct smells and juices. By the end of it, you're all sweaty and worn down. The girls leave to attend their business. The diamond is still protruding through the ground, and you're no closer to getting it.

What do you do?

You renounce your domfaggotry forever. The women go fucking nuts over this, and it enhances your attractive powers tenfold.

You say to yourself you'll stop being a dom. However, you remember you were never in the BDSM business in the first place and the women already left awhile ago. You stop and ponder for a second why you would say something so pointless, but you figure retarded thoughts come and go all the time.

What do you do?

You be the little boy.

Study the diamond

Seduce the diamond.

find some crabs on the beach

talk to the smartest bitch in your harem to figure out a plan

jack off

Dress the diamond up sluty, and recruit it to your harem.

Just fuck your shit up.

Ignore Canada poster.

Urinate on the diamond.

Do nothing

this is taking awhile

Cut your dick off

Darn, I was sure I had it.

Put the diamond in your bag of holding. AKA your ass.

Look for a weapon, and kill everything in sight, even the girls

Renounce your sinful ways, and go on a holy Crusade.

The first dog you see, bash its head in and eat it raw.

What said, but skullfuck the dog instead of eating it.

I'm gonna reroll once since I was trying to roll for 09 like a retard.

Look for a copy of Mein Kampf, since you've never read it and always wanted to.

there aren't any re-rolls here. you gotta try for something else

Yeah, I read the rules after I re-rolled and realised there was nobody rerolling the same thing 30 times. I did say I was retarded.

dubs confirm

I wonder how much the load on 8ch is increased by people refreshing to try and get dubs.

Anyway, check these dubs and MAGA

It's been an hour so I'm running with this.

Feelings of patriotism rise deep inside you. You have an overwhelming desire to make america great again, but you don't know where you should begin. For one, you're bald and you could use a new head of hair. Then there's the issue of money that such a monumental task would entail. You wonder what you should do.

What do you do?

Drive all Jewish vermin into the sea.

Charge people to watch you masturbate on your giant diamond.

Rolled 3 (1d9)
You decide to hold off on excavating the diamond for now. You decide you'll charge people to watch you masturbate

You go to the center of done and get down to the dirty business. After screaming some lucrative patriotism, a small crowd starts to form. Any moment now, you know the cash is going to drop. The crowd murmurs their disapproval and you hear of people talking about calling the cops or taking care of you themselves. You're too lost in pleasure to notice to the gravity of the situation, and you continue stroking your love for the great country of America.

What do you do?

Turn your diamond into a tourist attraction.

Call it diamond world.

Eugenics

My secret weapon is diarrhea

I think you can make it work, OP.

You're somewhat undervalued.

Suck mah dick.

Not OP. I still wanna make you swallow my diarrhea though.

Does anyone else here use a cock ring? I don't have a proper one so I DIY that shit. It makes my dick look all swollen and huge. Plus the orgasms seem better.

Drink bleach for money.

Before they crowd has a chance to react, you tell them your secret weapon is diarrhea. They immediately quiet down. What should they do? Maybe this man is only planning to shit his pants. Or maybe he's to hose us down in a watery brownish-green mess of sewage? Little do they know your true secret weapons are legal weed and taxes

Now what do you do while the crowd is distracted?

Finish.

Then steal a hot air balloon.

Grow a moustache, so they think you're someone else.

Get bored, find a computer and shitpost on Holla Forums.

Hide in your anus.

continue jacking off

go back to the diamond and attempt to hide it up your anus

Purchase a Bill Clinton wig.

OP here. I'm going to be busy for a few hours. I'll be back later tonight.

Dig around in the distracted people's pockets for something good.

Find the terrorist sleeper cells and

Until OP gets back, we need to preserve this post

In the confusion you created, you and your boner stealthily make your way to the wig shop. You choose the wig of Bill Clinton. You feel a sharp urge to insert cigars into holes. You toss the cashier some of the coins in your pocket. He gets pissed off saying how that's not enough. You tell him if Hillary calls, say you didn't see me around. The cashier says he's going to call the police if you don't pay for the wig. There's a commotion building outside the store. It seems you weren't as sneaky as you thought.

What do you do?

smoke some weed and make a smokescreen

Run into the back of the store and see if I can get onto the roof

Take the girls in the changing room hostage and they start blowing you off while you hold them hostage.

This but use your Harlem powers to do it

What the heck? What happened to the bill Clinton wig image?

Never mind 8ch refreshed and gave me an old version of the page for some odd reason

You ignore the cashier's bitching and moaning and head over to the girl's changing rooms. Looking to make sure you weren't followed, you slip through one of the close curtains. Inside you find a girl trying out a wig. "What the fuck are you doing in here, you creep? Get the hell out!" As if by second nature, you activate your harem senses and she drops to her knees. In a quick few seconds, she sits you down and takes your dick to downtown to the deepthroat district. You tell her she is now your hostage. "Mm hm. Yohsh shor moshtuh kinton." You hear police sirens echo into the store. The door opens a few times and footsteps are heard all around the store. They get closer and closer, and you hear nearby curtains getting pulled apart.

What do you do?

Your cum pierces her head as the officers enter the curtain, blinding them.

shoot a massive cumshot at them

Traffic's too slow right now. I'll try again tomorrow.

Murder the woman with an axe.

Use your diaherea powers to flood the place with your shit and make a quick escape with your new qt bitch

Fart a very smelly fart

bump

okay

bump

Rolled 6 (1d9)
Your gut starts to rumble. Something terrible is brewing inside you.

You've tried to hold it in as long as possible, but the blowie loosened up your bowels in the process. An awful, pungent wind escapes through your sphincter in engulfs the small dressing room. With one sniff, your harem girl drops to the floor with a solid thump. "Holy shit, do you smell that Officer Dunkin?" "Yeah I do, Officer Doneit. It's coming from this room over here." It seems you don't have much time left before you're found alone in a dressing room naked with a stripped down girl.

What do you do?

The officers pass out

Knock both the officers out.

Change your face

walk out the room like nothing happened

use harem powers on officers

A hand appears on the left side of the curtain. Being as silent as you can, you slip towards the right side of the dressing room. As the curtain gets pushed aside, you slip out through the side and casually suncle away. As you're getting farther away, a voice shouts behind you. "There he is, officers! He's right behind you! Don't let him get away with it!"

What do you do?

Ditch your wig somewhere and hide

fihgt them

offer for you to suck their dicks

shit so hard you ascend into the stratosphere

Become one with the wig.

Aw come on, those are some honorary dubs right there…

honorary doesn't count. they've got to be real dubs.

Your harem powers upgrade into mind control and you fuck everyone's minds

You go full allahu akbar but instead of exploding, you cum so hard you kill everyone by drowning them in sperm.

Fuck it, just go to jail

Rape everyone in a radius of 5km.

Have Trump and his supporters have gay sex with the officers.

Feed the officers to the pigs.

Use your monster dong to fight the officers.

Suck their dicks.

Instead of using this opportunity to escape, you decide to wait for the officers to come over. They tell you to get on the ground on put your arms behind your back. You offer them a good dick sicking in exchange for letting you go. They don't look amused. Perhaps there's a better way to bribe them.

What do you do now?

Summon your harem and offer them sex.

Bash their heads in and steal their stuff if they accept and are balls deep in your women

Turn into the hulk

Offer them some freshly picked flowers

there needs to be more people

Yeah. I thinking I'm going to take this quest to somewhere with more users. I just got to get things in order first

Use harem power since officers are in fact girls

No, there needs to be more 4chan for this thread to function properly.

...

I moved the thread here >>>Holla Forums10331526 if you want to move over with me

sure

Rolled 8 (1d9)Suicide roll

rip?

Rolled 1 (1d9)
I'm writing a loophole

I knew this would be first.

William Smith

The thread on Holla Forums was deleted

oh well. they were no fun faggots anyway. I'll just continue back here.

You throw your Bill Clinton wig into the face of the office on the left, and put him onto the ground before the other officer has a chance to react. You quickly pull his gun out of the holster, and aim it directly at the other officer's chest. He warns you about leaving your finger on the pistol's trigger due to accidental fire, but you keep your eyes fixed on him and don't move a muscle. You're still going to kill yourself, so why not go out with a bang.

What do you do?

Keeping your gun tried on the other guy, you go behind the officer underneath your foot and tell him not to move or his brains will be splattered all over these nicely polished floors. You undo his pants and pull them down to his knees. Lifting him up by his cheeks, you slip into his back door and start pounding. The other cop stares, horrified, and his legs begin to tremble. "Squeal, pig, squeal!" "Reee reee reeh." Unfortunately, there was not time for an enema so you can feel his leftovers in there.

What do you do?

Banish him to the shadow realm

Ask him where's his car and steal it.

Oh yeah, new rule. Since this board moves at a snail's pace, if no one gets dubs then I'll with the post ending in 8.

Pee in his butthole.

Damn dude, I was just working on the other guy's post. all right, new new rule. If no one gets dubs 20 minutes from my post, I go with the post number ending in 8.

Wasn't always like this

You ask the officer where his car is at. He says they parked in the back alley. You tell him to give you his key, and then to handcuff himself to his partner, then to use his own handcuffs to cuff himself to the nearby shelf. After grabbing his gun, you rush to the back alley and get into the police car. Part of you considers going back and beating the cashier for ratting on you.

What do you do?

Ram the front of the store with your car then drive away.

Go to a stripclub and see some exotic ass

I PEE
IN HIS
BUTTHOLE

A loud voice echoes in your head, "I PEE IN HIS BUTTHOLE." In a moment too late, you realize you did have to take a piss. However, your lost the opportunity to PEE IN HIS BUTTHOLE when you went to the alley and got in this car. By now, you think the cop may have gotten loose. He did only give you one key. You hear sirens in the distance.

What do you do now?

What happened?

Drive off into the sunset

Start from the beginning

ignore this fag

You decide to start back at the beginning. After pulling the car out of the alley, you drive through the city. No one's tailing you, so you figure you're in no trouble as long as they can't find you immediately. You keep driving.

Here you are, back where you started. You put the car in park and step out onto the sand you've become well acquainted with by now. You stand there and let the sounds of the ocean relax your nerves.

What do you do?

bump

buy donald trump's wig

Kill OP.

Holla Forums's slower than I thought it would be these days. I'm going to let this thread sit until tomorrow. Any post ending in dubs until I come back will be put into the end of this quest.

slider no sliding

bump

Dress the diamond up like a slut, and make it your #1 concubine.

bump

...

Bumped

I enjoy napping

bump

...

...

...

...

...

Fly to Afghanistan, use your powers to create a massive army of whores, and conquer the Middle East.

Give Trump the best deals on oil, and make America great again.

...

bump

I'm finishing this up now.

After giving it some thought, you decide to return to the tiny hooker shop. You take some of your past souvenirs and the give the diamond a slutty makeover. You then admit the diamond as your official numero uno concubine.

Today has been the most fun you've ever had in your life, but what you've done there's no easy way out. You aren't going to jail, and you never want to have another bad day again. You take out the officer's gun and put it to your temple. Breathing in deeply, you take in your surroundings for the last time. You brace yourself as you make your index finger squeeze.

Name: Fugg the Lugg
Special Ability: Natural Harem Building
Secret Weapon: Tax Cuts and Legal Weed

Accomplishments:
-Dug up some change and an axehead
-Secuded local pimp in charge of tiny hookers with harem of girls
-Used dank kush and a joint to give your moth a cremation
-Summoned diamond from the Earth's crust using moth's ashes
-Destroyed tiny hooker shop and killed Mr. Harden when the building collapsed
-Had orgy with harem girls near Harden's warm corpse
-Masturbated in the middle of town to gain enough money to make america great again
-Deceived angry crowd using diarrhea as a red herring
-Stole a Bill Clinton wig
-Got blowjob in dressing room
-Knocked out girl with a fart
-Had sex with a cop's butt
-Stole a police car
-Made the diamond your #1 concubine

I will never forgive myself for not getting these dubs.

You can't debug Fugg the Lugg.

Why did you let this happen to Fugg the Lugg? Everything could have turned out all right in the end. If only you hadn't missed those dubs.

Use my secret powers to smoke up the police officers and get a free ride to the farm.

this

gthis

I want to do another Quest sometime as long as you guys are up for it. I'll probably wait until traffic builds up more because we started this on Sunday and it took too long just going through this one thread.

if you dont do it today, i will

Go for it.

do it

what are you waiting for just do it

/r/ing make your dreams come true original webm or any OC remix

what do you mean?

no more bumps

k

here:

...

This guy got closer to quints, therefore it cancels out

Make Fugg the Lugg come back to life and not feel suicidal anymore. :^)