Kickstarter idiots are now funding the portable Ouya

kickstarter.com/projects/1606226331/portable-console-for-pc-games-pgs

Kickstarter idiots are now funding the portable Ouya.

Other urls found in this thread:

kickstarter.com/projects/34683765/the-starforce-pi-electronic-tabletop-mini-arcade
twitter.com/pgs_lab
kitguru.net/gaming/console-desktop-pc/matthew-wilson/handheld-steam-machine-kickstarter-to-return/
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

remember pandora? yea fuck this too

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Are they fucking retarded?

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I thought this was the portable Ouya?

I can't wait to see the magic.

This shows clearly how consoles rely on exclusives.

A PGS1?

why on earth did i open that gif.

Their loss. Though with 29 days to go, it'll need millions of dollars in backing to become Ouya tier.

Also
What a joke.

Curiosity got the best of you.

So, essentially, it's Pandora for faggots?

It's almost mesmerizing to see how quickly live things can turn into mush. Makes me wonder if we're going to do the same shit alá goylent green

This.

To who?

It looks like a decent emulator machine. I bet I could play anything up to the PS1 era pretty comfortably on that hardware.

I actually hope this one does well and turns out good. I know it won't, but it's a nice thought.

No user, you can't.
The CPU inside is a minor upgrade from the Atom chip inside the Surface 3 and it's being put into a device half its size. While the Surface 3 can emulate PS1 games, I would not assume that it'll be able to when it's trying to passively cool something that gets to 80c in minutes in a device twice the size.

This thing is a bomb in your pocket.

You mean like a hacked PSP has been able to do for almost a decade now?

To piggyback on this.
Just read the stretch goals.

What a great idea. Let's get a chip that is in a much smaller form factor than what it should be and decide that we should overclock it.

What could go wrong?

Isn't the ouya just phone hardware in a console?
So this is just a mobile game equivalent of a phone?
Why not get a phone instead?

Is that how they make chicken nuggets?

I streamed onto another computer in the same room and that was already terrible.

It's cinematic anons. Anything above 30fps is a waste

Why are those DSs running steam?

Don't most of those games already run at that frame rate on consoles?

Is it fucked up that I'm hungry now?

Or you could money on a good briefcase and parts, and build a portable PC.

How are those chicks being pulled through that grate?

A laptop?

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What a fucking joke. It looks less comfortable than a smart phone.
I wonder if they really got Metal Gear Rising running on it. That'd be pretty cool.

We are what we eat. If you are shocked by this then you might as well kill yourself, hypocrites.

it's nice that they died quickly and painlessly

Seems I deleted my gore folder for some reason.

Kek I did not even see that they were running it only on low and medium settings.

It's called a laptop.
These niggers are doing a kickstarter for a fucking laptop.

I just came home from eating chicken for dinner too.
This shit made me laugh.

OH BOY!
Does that mean there will soon be more console-tan bullying art?

I expected this kind of comment from facebook.

Kill yourself user.

Post Ouya-tan porn

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I think what he's trying to get at is that a heatsink requires surface area to function. The smaller the device, the less efficient of a heatsink for the CPU that can be put into it.

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All that and only 100,000 sheckles? Boy a goyim would have to be crazy to pass up this deal!

Why does it feel like the footage is cut every 4 or 6 words?

No matter how much the Ouya sucked, I always get depressed seeing these pictures. I can't understand this fetish.

that's not how it works you lil shit

kickstarter.com/projects/34683765/the-starforce-pi-electronic-tabletop-mini-arcade

Emulators, god damn it. And these things exist anyway. Look up the nvidia sheild. Or the "gpd xd", or the new pyra firebox. There are plenty of them and they are amazing.

So, essentially…

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Also i bet they will use the batterizer (tm) to extend the battery life, as 80% of the battery goes unused!

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THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING

that's the first thing that came to mind.
fucking WHY do they need a kickstarter for this…there's already bluetooth controllers for pretty much every portable device out there…and they're cheap as fuck too.

surely people aren't this blind.

Is there more?

I thought he died?

He resurrected because his mission isn't done.

Okay so why is it that the audio is not properly synced to the visuals in the video? Motherfucker talks but his lips aren't properly moving in time. Combine that with his plastic fucking face and it looks like I'm being communicated with via telepathy by some android or some shit.

OP, you're wrong. This isn't normal phone hardware, and this isn't attempting to make its own OS. I feel those are the two prerequisites to be called an Ouya.

Is it fake, however? Yes.

IT'S THE LEAD HACKER OF GAMERGATE

There is a thread in Holla Forums here
>>>Holla Forums586343

It means backpack cucked ouya-tan.

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So how is this thing supposed to close properly with these analog sticks? Do they just get smashed down into the device, and pop out like erect nipples when it opens?

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>>>/cuteboys/

>>>Holla Forums

A bomb!?
>>>/a/

You mean a laptop?

>>>/n/

>>>/furry/

The rims look raised, like pic related.

And how are you supposed to hold it if your thumbs are at the very bottom of hte thing?

People just don't learn, do they

>>>/monster/

>>>Holla Forums

People learn, there's just two suckers born every minute to replace them.

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Rerolling
>>>Holla Forums

OH SHIT!

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This is so awkward, I have never even saved one of those cringy pieces of shit on my hard drive.
Please stop.

Nice numbers.

More like Elliot Rodriguez

Oh shit

Wew.

wow

Shit

I guess the idea is that the bottom corners are supposed to rest on the knuckle of the index finger, not the center of the palm like most handhelds. Or they're supposed to rest on the center of the palm and you hold your thumbs down at ninety degree angles to use the sticks.

Either way it looks like they've never held a handheld system before

THE SUPREME GENT
CANNOT BE BENT

WHAT DID YOU DO
WHAT DID YOU DO

y

I honestly wish there was a way to stream EVERY PC game into a tablet or whatever, and have functional controls, I would love to play Danganronpa and Zero Escape in bed like in a handheld but it's impossible and I have to do it on the TV.

I know im a bit of a hypocrite here since I love eating chickens but I am still bothered about about this, I mean they are probably newly hatched babies too.

at least let them be adults before you kill them.

We will now be destroyed and born anew in the cleansing flames.

Those become nuggets though, not regular chicken.

They have such low meat content though. Seems like a lot of work to let chickens fuck, wait for babies to hatch then kill them. Unless they kill only the boys and let the girls grow up to become baby making machines?

correctamundo

THE ENTIRETY OF Holla Forums GETS NUKED

Sayonara leftycucks.

How long before they get sued by EA?

vacuum

Wait a second

fucking retards

Here

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It won't be eaten, comrade.

These are some fucking awful framerates. I hope who ever came up with this idea feels terrible they were ever given a voice in the company to begin with.

Also, those low-res screens are awful. Godawful, in fact. Who decided that the majority of people want a shitstain portable device to play games at low-as-fuck settings? I've seen laptop toasters put out better performance.

then for what?
i guess it's for dog food

There is already one such concept going without any kickstarter.
Why the fuck would you back some shady company when there is exactly same thing going without your help?
It was said to be released late 2016. Did they knew it will be shit or did they never bothered to google before wasting 100k?

Are we posting diagrams now?

It's supposed to be like this, faggot

WHEN WILL THEY LEARN?

Ouya 2: Portable Boogaloo

You have no fucking idea what you are talking about, these are excess males. They are not breed for food but are simply as side effect of hatching a shitload of eggs.
I worked at a chicken farm long enough to see some of the really fucked shit, this is nothing

its supposed to be a portable console. you know NES and SNES look better than gameboy, right?

what's happening there exactly? is someone just doing it for the keks?

How new are all of you that you've never seen that gif before? Jesus Christ.

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impressive drawing skills

Maybe just for the pecks? I should kill myself over that line.

YOU ARE ALL SEVERELY MENTALLY RETARDED

Those chicks are the excess males that can't lay eggs, ergo they have no use in a hatchery.
That gif is the most quick and painless possible way of disposing of them

farmers do this everyday

they dont see animals as living beings

This is really fucking bad.

This doesn't make sense. There's 442 backers and almost all pledged for the PGS HARDCORE EARLY BIRD thing for $260 and it does sound like they're only getting a discount for that. In addition to that people are really skeptical in the comments.

How likely is it that this is a scam and those backers are fake?

Dude the whole promo video is a damn redflag.

And this. twitter.com/pgs_lab

Those followers gotta be bought off bots and shit. This whole things stinks like shit.

JAPANESE ENGINEERS
APENESE ENGINEERS
PANESE ENGINEERS
ANESE ENGINEERS
NESE ENGINEERS
ESE ENGINEERS
SE ENGINEERS
E ENGINEERS
ENGINEERS
NGINEERS
GINEERS
INEERS
NEERS
EERS
ERS
RS
S

Hey its chicken farm user!
what do you mean fucked up?

If you're not a vegan then stop fucking whining about it.

I am sure its the quickest way, I doubt its the most painless way (although given the speed at which it happens, it probably doesn't matter.

But yeah, most roosters are absolutely worthless to the industry, so they are destroyed as soon as they are identified as male. Maybe they should try to identify as genderfluid or something.

Kek

wow thanks feminism

I'm still not gonna buy one though.

What happened to Ouya-tan? It's been awhile since the last drawing.

Picture related, it's the color red. The color this device will be shortly before it explodes.

its crimson red, user.

reminder that Holla Forums are all willfully ignorant for past technology and ho-
>Native 64-bit X86 Windows 10 Support
fucking dropped

But user, I've been looking for an expensive, single use fire-starter for a long time and this is exactly what I need.

Everything wrong with this device:

-Native PC software support, it's EXTREMELY unlikely that any device of this size actually runs on a regular PC architecture (forgot the name) more then likely it's the same sort of architecture used in the Surface tablet. In other words: you won't run any games or software made for portable devices on it.
-They expect to sell the entry level model for 250 dollars. This is very wishful thinking as similar devices are still being sold for at least double that.
-PC games on an Atom processor. Because I3 just wasn't unplayable enough we'll actually use a processor that won't even be able to boot 90% of modern games.
- >Most powerful portable gaming console.
I'm sorry but the Tegra chip beats the shit out of this and the shield actually has Nvidia working with it. Needless to say this is factually wrong and might be lawsuit material if anyone has some Jew friends.
- >Intel intergrated graphics can run the most demanding games.
Last time I checked it couldn't even run minecraft on 10 fps on a quad core I7 processor.
- >we used a surface tablet, you know that much larger device with an actual budget behind it to benchmark our projected performance.
- 4 gigs of ram, 64 gigs of storage, in a microscopic formfactor for under 250$
- >Our engineers came up with the cooling for atom processors. I think Intel would like a word with them on that.
-QHD display, because we want a steam machine. No, not the kind that's related to Valve, we mean a machine that will literally blow out steam due to heat problems.
-Second screen that will also function as a keyboard, extra monitor, and touchpad something that would even make a GTX titan sweat on an atom processor.
-Dualboot, because why the fuck not. It's not like these systems need resources.
-Game streaming, not only from Steam but also Xbox and PS4. Because fuck licensing they'll just let us do that stuff if we ask nicely.
-5 channel audio, because that's practically free nowadays, except for the part where even 600$ mobile phones don't have it.
-5 hour battery life while playing AAA games on the windows operating system. Because we use magic to do what laptops with batteries 20 times as big have trouble doing.
-GPU = intel HD graphics with 16 cores. Even though intel HD graphics is a part fo the CPU thus logically can't have more cores dedicated to it then the CPU (4core) has to it.
-Storage = windows 10
-OS = 128gb SSD, very professional stuff here.
-For 250.000 dollars we'll let you overclock this device. Essentially turning it into a must have tool for terrorists because they can use it as an explosive now.

This is what someone would come up with if they had to make a parody of a kickstarter page it's unreal.

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Oh shit, I completely forgot about this.

what a joke

Pandora IS for faggots

You use this for running steam(windows) or moonlight(android or windows) and then stream the games from your high end PC to this device. You don't actually run the games ON these chinese android tablet clones.

I use moonlight to stream over wireless to my GPD XD and it works great. That's how I play xcom and dying light.

I blame her parents.

hey, don't be too hard on the Atom, it's almost reached the level of a Core2 Duo, in the current year of 2016!
the fastest ARM processor is still slower then a Bentium 4

it's shit m8

Fucking surge of portable emulator machines coming up. Maybe one will wind up being competent.

None have been able to beat a fucking PSP thus far. It's fucking absurd.

==NEVER EVER AGAIN**

it's a shame, but the xperia play was a flop, apparently.
too bad, it would have been good to play android emulators on it.

#dc143c is crimson you utter plebian.

I always wanted a portable for pc games. Does that exists?

And most of the games they mentioned on it's KS page appeared to be knock offs of SMB, Oregon Trail, Pokemon, Space Invaders, Asteroids, G&W Parachute and Zelda. (Can't recognize what Poofy's Adventure, UFO Race and Tank Battle are supposed to be).

THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
HE'S BACK TO ACCOMPLISH HIS MISSION

It's called a laptop, but good luck getting one that's actually decent for playing games.

They're not terrible, but don't expect to be able to play any newer games.
You'll always be at least 5 or 6 years behind with one.

Sup user.
Breed enough of something fast enough and mutations happen, these are quickly disposed of because chicken sales would drop if people saw some of the shit that hatches
The birds are also driven insane by the shed conditions and become cannibalistic

you could batter and fry them and market them as boneless chicken meals I guess
or just sell it as pet food for pets

Atleast not through the grinder, why not exploit it more before they get their untimely death?

Nigga they're chicks.
They have practically no meat on them.

Thanks dickass now i'm hungry as fuck but i can only fast at evening

HAHA

IT'S REAL

HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO STUPID?

g-guys? I-I know it's painful, b-but you need to accept the fact that the supreme gentleman is dead. We have been stuck in a supreme gentleman-less world for over two years now, and nothing is ever going to change that.

good night sweet prince ;_;7

Hasn't this already been done by companies with fuck you money?

I don't see the point in it. The only way to git gud performance is to render the game on a proper PC & stream it to the device, but that adds input lag.

What Sony phone was not a flop? I heard they've been absolutely terrible with marketing and distribution.

Am I the only one who finds this morbidly funny?

Why do people keep claiming to have these sort of products, it feels like snake oil each time.

kitguru.net/gaming/console-desktop-pc/matthew-wilson/handheld-steam-machine-kickstarter-to-return/

But can it run Linux?

To be fair, the original gameboy is a brick almost as big as my desktop speakers, while the arduboy is thick as as a fucking credit card.

Of course, you little snowflake you.

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i'd love something like this, even just for casual games like postal 2, terraria, etc but they keep fucking it up and going back to the drawing board

Now that's pathological altruism™.

But a laptop is not really what people mean by portable. More like something you can put in your pocket.

What kind of people fund this? I'm asking seriously. How can you be this dumb or what are you seriously hoping is going to happen? And of course things that already exist no less. What do they hope to gain from this?

well ok sell them as pet food
they do that in my country

what do you think is the destiny of that bird paste that results from that gif? it already IS pet food.

It says trips activate the bomb but what do quads do?
I guess we take Holla Forums with us.

i have OCD and small things make my penis so hard
i'm sorry but i'll be buying one of these arouboys. i would have one already but they haven't been released to non-backers yet.
for what it's worth, i'll try my best to get one used so the devs don't get any of my money.

doesn't that mean the bomb explodes here instead of Holla Forums?

quads sends it into a 4 dimensional space
quints turns it into a black hole

Ughh
feed them whole you barbaric owner, give your pets a taste of what it supposed to be

(checked)
_no

I II
II I_

I DEMAND A DRAWING OF OUYA-TAN WITH A PORTABLE OUYA IN HER HANDS

My phone is an 8core and it's worth 170 bucks.

into the trash it goes

le jojo meme combined with le pokemon, my two favorite most epicest things

the "gpd xd" is actually very good. I have one and it can run ps1, nds, psp, and everything below. And its only about 200 dollars. It can do pc streaming, but no pc games natively

How much did you pay for your GPD XD? I'd love to be able to emulate DS games, not even my shitty computer is powerful enough to do so right now, and getting DS flash cards is becoming difficult. I don't like ordering from China.

I paid 189, it came in 4 days. I bought it about 1 and a half months ago from amazon. Completely worth the price.

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damn, that's a steal. Thanks for recommending it, I'd never have heard of this thing otherwise. I'm going to order one later this month.

Kindly remove yourself Omar

Oh, dont use those shitty free ds emulators. Get drastic. The free ones cant get full speed.

are you underage?
commit to it the whole day you unreligious fegit

I still have to get an sd card for mine, but i have yet to fill it up to warrent getting one.
Its always good seeing someone on Holla Forums wanting to play vidya.

So they could fit ONE of the games they are bragging about being compatible with it? That's hilarious.

Is it just me or does "Revolution Now" logo part sound like the guy from honest trailers?

This is a very goud.
It is of the many cool ideas.