How exactly does one get pussy while living at the white house as a teenage boy...

How exactly does one get pussy while living at the white house as a teenage boy? The secret service always cock blocking you. when you're trying to run game on some foreign prime ministers daughter the news media catches you smiling at her and immediately blows shit out if proportion speculating that you are somehow breaking international law with your awkward teenage flirting, so you have to testify before congress that you didn't give away any top secret documents to her and are made to admit live on C-SPAN that you've never even kissed a girl . Then you get blue balls from some hot conservative girl winking at you and flashing her panties under her skirt and making sexy faces and blow job motions to you while you were going through some airport or public event, and when you passed by and shook her hand she leans in whispering she is going to diddle her clit thinking about you tonight and how much she wants to suck your dick off, just to fuck with you. Then you try to look up some porn when you get home just to relieve the tension but you just know the CIA is monitoring and 3 other govornment agencies are watching you beat off. Then you finally break down and Jack off in the shower which sets off some fucking biohazard drain alarm and the entire place is on lock down until they can find the source of the specimen and you end up getting debriefed by the joint chiefs of staff about your masturbatory habits and how you almost created a national security issue with your dick. Then wikileaks leaks your search history showing you looked up penis enlargement techniques when it was actually just some click bait you'd accidentally clicked and TYT spends all next week talking about your supposed micro penis. So you end up squirming a little since you are so wound up and being judged constantly and now people are saying you look like a fucking mental patient and you start to think you'll never get any pussy.

Are you Barron?
Post timestamp in WH now!!!

Talk to your Dad, Barron. Don't make slide threads.

Barron?
You alright there, buddy?
You're much too young for bitches anyway

IGNORE BITCHES
ACQUIRE RICHES

The SS vets your dates and drives them into the White House without logging them in. How do you think Chelsea got her cherry popped obviously Bill, but after that, when she was dating?

Cuckchan-tier post

fap discretely in your room with no porn

Barron I raff'd

How exactly does one be such a cuck that they post more worthless slide threads

Die kike

you should talk to dad, the cockblocking is probably not incidental

Talk to your dad Barron, he will understand

It's alright, man. All of us hate waiting, too. Tell 'em "we" said hi.

Grab em by the pussy Barron!!

Amen.

not funny, die

all you have to do is translate this post into ebonics and you have a face nigger memepage joke

Barron, is that you?

Do it!

I would say life sucks Barron but we're WINNING

I don't believe you are Barron but I had a good laugh.

Barron just fuck some of the staff.

your dad can hook you up dude

...

A creative one though, I'll have to admit.

Greetings Barron , you can figure it out my dude

HI BARRON
we support you

How does one not?

No idea but you need to be gassed for sliding.

I really wonder who could want to slide chans.

What happened, Holla Forums?

...

???