ITT: Post pictures of random shit and I'll describe it like it was a Soulsborne item

Joseph Gutierrez
Joseph Gutierrez

Do it faggots

All urls found in this thread:

clickondetroit.com/news/defenders/defenders-criminals-using-orange-tips-on-real-guns
archive.is/tDLf7
i.sli.mg/2f8w5x.jpg
archive.is/xftcD
archive.is/s9KFk
web.archive.org/web/20160627171925/https://hollaforums.com/thread/9829017/video-games

Carter Collins
Carter Collins

Now this is a shit thread.

Tyler Collins
Tyler Collins

A gun consisting of a rotating barrel and attached bayonet for melee attacks. A truly outrageous weapon, likely designed by a particularly overzealous Powder Keg. Rapidly devours Quicksilver bullets, and is terribly inaccurate besides.

The arms race between the various hunter factions sometimes spawns bizarre weapons such as these, which function much better in theory than in practice.

Julian James
Julian James

This outfit.

Nathan Hill
Nathan Hill

A spice popular in the age before the curse took root. Once commonplace, it is now extremely rare and valuable.

Value is by no means intrinsic, and a change of circumstances can make fortunes in unlikely places, and beggars of the richest men.

Only, you will have to find someone willing to buy this.

Liam Harris
Liam Harris

A tight, form-fitting brassiere. Quite alluring.

Desire to appear coquettish is not common among the undead, but perhaps there are those who can still find delight in such a garment.

If no one is looking, why not try donning it, and see what it does for your confidence?

Christopher Thompson
Christopher Thompson

A garishly-colored mask featuring a grimacing face and dark eyes. Of unknown origin, but possibly hailing from Zena, where such strange designs are commonplace.

Armor such as this is more useful as a tool of intimidation than of protection, but still, it is surprisingly sturdy.

Adam Martinez
Adam Martinez

A regular pistol that has been customized with a grip panel featuring a painting of a nearly-naked woman.

It is common for hunters to anthropomorphize their weapons, and the sleek components of a well-crafted gun can lure the mind toward indulgent thoughts.

Still, perhaps this is overdoing it a bit.

David Morales
David Morales

this lolki

Luis Perry
Luis Perry

A colorful stuffed horse. Might have been for children, but for the addition of a questionable hole in the rear end. As it is, this was likely once the toy of a deprived Cainhurst noble.

The unnaturally long, twisted lives of the Cainhurst vilebloods gave rise to a number of bizarre perversions, many of which would sicken normal men. But, to these creatures, such deviance was normalcy.

A sobering reminder that many of moral codes to which men adhere are by no means absolute.

Ethan Gonzalez
Ethan Gonzalez

You're alright, user.

Lincoln Peterson
Lincoln Peterson

do this faggot

Eli White
Eli White

Good shit

Grayson Rivera
Grayson Rivera

this post has been approved by the executioners

Owen Brown
Owen Brown

A lovingly-designed outfit of black silk and orange ribbon, likely once worn by a young witch. Provides good defense against magic.

Witches are known for their alluring nature, and this nature is often instilled before the onset of womanhood. Clothes such as these foreshadow the ravishing beauties that young witches will soon become.

Elijah Allen
Elijah Allen

An ordinary bag of salt. Seems useless, but can be thrown at human enemies to temporarily blind them. In addition, some creatures are inexplicably vulnerable to this substance, and will be badly harmed by it.

A true warrior knows how to make use of the tools that are available to them, and in a pinch, this salt just might do the trick.

Adrian Bennett
Adrian Bennett

An ingenious device made of several interlocking pieces of some unknown material. Resembles a small humanoid figure seated before a desk.

Such design far outstrips the most complex trick weapons of the workshop. Whoever created it was clearly a virtuoso.

However, oddly enough, the device itself seems completely pointless, and does nothing productive.

Blake Ortiz
Blake Ortiz

Here's a print to describe

Someone needs to edit these into a Dark Souls menu template.

today OP was a pretty cool guy.

Kayden Bailey
Kayden Bailey

Describe pyramid's head mask and sword.

Lincoln Gray
Lincoln Gray

Pretty good. Up for another one?

Christian Lewis
Christian Lewis

An unlikely food item consisting of a slice of bread, sausage, and some unpalatable minty paste. Quite revolting.

Perhaps this was created by a cook seized by the spirit of creativity, or a traveler who had nothing else to eat. Either way, there are times where the curse of the undead, which stifles all hunger but that for fire and souls, does not seem like a curse at all.

Bentley Jenkins
Bentley Jenkins

This is the best thread ive seen this month.

Brayden Gutierrez
Brayden Gutierrez

based

Justin Murphy
Justin Murphy

A simple peasant dish, composed of sausage, bread, and sauce made from an apothecary's leavings. Said to clean the teeth.

In the course of the hunt, the Hunters would forgo many creature comforts, but some still followed their daily routines in the oddest of ways.

Jace Moore
Jace Moore

A painting featuring a bizarre creature with no head or arms, and a face implanted in their chest.

Should be horrifying, but the whimsical depiction suggests that the creature was peaceful, unlike most of the demons which infest the known world.

Perhaps there is such thing as a harmless demon, or perhaps the artist was foolishly over-sympathetic.

Nathan Myers
Nathan Myers

Noice

Aiden Murphy
Aiden Murphy

Sword only, two items in one would be awkward:

A wickedly large, bloodstained sword carved from a single, heavy sheet of metal. There is a brutal efficiency about this weapon, and to behold it is to hear the faint screams of its countless victims.

Restores HP upon each successful kill, but one begins to wonder if they are feeding themself, or the sword.

Colton Butler
Colton Butler

Go ahead OP, be a faggot, I dare you.

Liam Gutierrez
Liam Gutierrez

An eerie, pale mask that is made all the more disconcerting for its lack of recognizable features.

Bears an uncanny resemblance to a mask said to have been worn by a notorious sexual deviant. Donning it makes one feel unclean.

Some items will be forever stained by their history, and this otherwise plain mask is no exception.

Jacob Gutierrez
Jacob Gutierrez

A collection of brightly-colored, sugary sweetmeats. Such frivolities were common in the heyday of Anor Londo, when rich lords would purchase ever more sumptuous and exotic delicacies to entertain their guests.

Of little value today, as the undead do not eat, and such humans as still exist are unlikely to see the use of such unsubstantial food.

Wyatt Thomas
Wyatt Thomas

I do hope someone is screencapping this for future posting.

Jace Phillips
Jace Phillips

(15)

Jose Clark
Jose Clark

A woodcut of a shifty-looking man eagerly rubbing his hands together, possibly about to perpetrate some sort of deceit or crime.

Such an unflattering depiction suggests that this was once an item of propaganda, but its meaning, as well as the the supposed subject of the picture, have been lost to the sands of time.

David Peterson
David Peterson

Burg merchant is an undead jew

Carson Young
Carson Young

A phallic-looking, sword-like object made of some strange material that resembles rubber from the Great Swamp. Can be used as a weapon, but is more useful in humiliating your enemies than slaying them.

Shameless, exaggerated depictions of human anatomy are commonplace among the world's more barbaric peoples, and this weapon is a particularly egregious example.

Oliver Gomez
Oliver Gomez

This thread is great.

Alexander Nguyen
Alexander Nguyen

You've made a believer out of me.

Tyler Sanchez
Tyler Sanchez

A corded mop once used in the maintenance of a dirt-conscious home. Can be swung like a halberd, but don't expect much.

Many human values, such as the desire for cleanliness, were eroded with the onset of the curse. To continue to take pride in the appearance of one's hearth and home shows a commendable, if misplaced, resolve.

Joseph Ross
Joseph Ross

Nice.

Lincoln Cooper
Lincoln Cooper

i'll cover OP for this one

THE POWDER KEGS BE WILIN'

Ian Phillips
Ian Phillips

The dog. Not the log.

Daniel Harris
Daniel Harris

An enormous firearm that resembles a regular blunderbuss, but at nearly twice the scale. Appropriately enough, it requires two Quicksilver bullets to fire.

Either the designer of this weapon wanted to push the limits of human strength, or this weapon was never intended to be held by human hands. In which case, one can be grateful that the weapon's original owner is no longer around to claim it as their own.

Brandon Bell
Brandon Bell

Yaay thread

Angel Nguyen
Angel Nguyen

An improbable trick weapon that combines the weight of a hammer with the impact a gun. Pulling the trigger causes the weapon to surge forward, lending additional strength to regular blows.

Trick weapons such as these, which did not necessarily change shape but made ingenious use of Quicksilver bullets, are archetypal of the later years of the Hunter's Workshop. Not easy to use by any means, but devastating in the right hands.

Matthew Cox
Matthew Cox

Too bad, describing the log.

A heavy log of petrified wood. Can be swung like an incredibly stout club, if one has the strength to hoist it.

Improvised weapons are commonplace in a world where good steel is at a premium, but still, perhaps you could have chosen something with a more appropriate shape. This log is more suitable for standing on than swinging.

Josiah Sanchez
Josiah Sanchez

Makes me want to actually swing the log
10/10

Grayson Brooks
Grayson Brooks

now do this one

Ayden Diaz
Ayden Diaz

A simple, short-sleeved shirt featuring a prominent message written in acid-green runes.

The meaning of the runes is unknown, though their presence, in addition to that of a strange sigil on the front, suggests that the shirt is enchanted. However, this does not appear to be the case, and the defensive benefit of the article is questionable at best.

Not everything that claims a hold a second, hidden meaning can be trusted. Sometimes the most mundane items can be disguised as something compelling.

Adam Gutierrez
Adam Gutierrez

I've got a Chihya for you to describe.

Benjamin Davis
Benjamin Davis

A skillfully executed painting of an empty field covered in lush, verdant grass. Such utopic scenery is practically unknown to those born under the yoke of the curse.

It's unknown why the artist chose to paint such a scene with no subject, but perhaps they simply wanted to capture the rapturous beauty of nature itself.

Gabriel Garcia
Gabriel Garcia

OP here. You've been great, anons, but it's time for bed. Perhaps we will meet again, and engage in jolly co-operation.

This was fun, I'll make another when I've got more time on my hands

Angel Campbell
Angel Campbell

Peculiar moss that sticks to your hands.

Use to camouflage yourself amongst nature.

An earthy, botanical wonder that clings to anything it touches, and is often found growing over rotted wood. Used by scouts and hunters of the savage forests, to become indistinguishable from their verdant environments.

Adam Jackson
Adam Jackson

Describe my son, OP.

Gabriel Davis
Gabriel Davis

Retarded like his father

Eli Ross
Eli Ross

Beautiful albino black child. Congrats on your wife's son.

Parker Diaz
Parker Diaz

heh

William Howard
William Howard

That doesn't sound anything like a Souls item description. You suck at this.

Jonathan Rogers
Jonathan Rogers

Post nudes.

Ian Rogers
Ian Rogers

Head carved of archtrees by Gough in his imprisonment. Gough imparts an emotion to each and every completed carving, which helps him achieve personal enlightenment. When a head is disturbed, it speaks, reflecting the emotion conferred to it.

This head says, "I'm retarded." Have another look. Does it not appear quite dim-witted?

Lucas Flores
Lucas Flores

An undergarment of foreign make. Clearly intended for women.

The undead have little conception of beauty, as hollowing sheds away their pleasing form to reveal truer nature. Still, a gentle remainder of a time long past.

Jonathan Roberts
Jonathan Roberts

A strange doll in strange dress, dyed to match. Spun of cheap wool.

A faded and plain thing, likely of great significance to some child long dead. Time, however, has rendered it meaningless.

Connor Morris
Connor Morris

holy fucking shit

Joseph Ross
Joseph Ross

You did good, OP

Dominic Fisher
Dominic Fisher

A lovingly crafted blunderbuss. Can fire from both barrels.

The hunters once did their deed in the shadows. Yet, as Yharnam fell further to the plague of beasts, so did their weapons change to match greater foes.

FUCK YOU

Evan Torres
Evan Torres

Very amusing OP. Reading soulsgame descriptions always makes me feel warm and calm and the thread did just that.

Xavier Harris
Xavier Harris

A strange white square, with no purpose whatsoever.

Henry Sullivan
Henry Sullivan

relevant to thread

Cameron Perry
Cameron Perry

An ancient instrument, likely owned by a famous bard. it is worn and battered now.

Once, this complex implement likely accompanied the greatest epics of the age. Sadly, knowledge has faded over time, and today none remember how to work it.

James Nguyen
James Nguyen

Oh God I luf memes!

Luis Howard
Luis Howard

A disturbing image of wasted and vile flesh.

Matthew Nguyen
Matthew Nguyen

likely owned by a famous bard
this complex implement likely accompanied the greatest epics of the age
hi

Daniel Ward
Daniel Ward

One of the three masks of the Pinwheel,
the necromancer who stole the power of the
Gravelord, and reigns over the Catacombs.

This mask once belonged to the valiant father, but has been desecrated by the plebian to the point of mockery.

Thomas Howard
Thomas Howard

They did discontinue it.

Easton Torres
Easton Torres

A torn scrap from the center of a canvas.

What appears to be part of a landscape from an ancient painting, rent into an unrecognizable design. Perhaps one could discern its true image by locating the other scraps, if they still remain.

Sebastian Nelson
Sebastian Nelson

I was talking about Tony "The Jew" Banks
Also pic related :^)

Gavin James
Gavin James

An odd blunderbuss. Incapable of firing, and thus only suitable as an ornament.

One of the many trick weapons of the Workshop, used to fight beasts in the nights of Yharnam. Sadly, this particular blunderbuss never saw the light of day.

Noah Carter
Noah Carter

A carving of a frog, quite heavy in the palm. Appears to serve no particular purpose.

While this bronze statue has become green with great age, it remains quite distinctive owing to the runes carved on its plinth. But even the greatest of sages cannot read them now.

Levi Cooper
Levi Cooper

An odd object, made of some strange material that resembles rubber from the Great Swamp.

Remnant of some lost age, its purpose has yet to be divined. Its distinct hue has faded with time, giving it a woebegone appearance.

Ayden Murphy
Ayden Murphy

impressive and creative, op, gave me many a chuckle

Andrew Jenkins
Andrew Jenkins

A cup composed of some strange material, smooth to the touch. Keeps fluids warm.

Commonplace in another time, today this is a luxury that provides comfort in the coldest of nights. The etchings on the cup have long since faded, and one can only guess at what they were.

Andrew Miller
Andrew Miller

A goblet with a wooden plinth, seemingly made of gold. However, scratching the surface reveals only mundane iron.

A deceptive object, likely to draw great favor amongst those who do not care to comprehend the true value of things. Today, it is near worthless.

Ian Powell
Ian Powell

An assortment of drinking implements. They are worn with age, though surprisingly still intact.

These could once be found in every corner of the world, but are of little value to the Undead, who seek only the precious Estus Flasks.

Christopher Barnes
Christopher Barnes

An ancient drum from a forgotten age. Likely a musical implement.

Drums such as these are usually greatly valued by the bards of this age, but this is an odd exception. It can emit only a single beat, harsh and unpleasant to the ear.

Luke Hernandez
Luke Hernandez

user, if you do the big guy for me I swear to god I will be forever in your debt.

Jacob Howard
Jacob Howard

also

Andrew Edwards
Andrew Edwards

That's CIA, not the big guy. But, sure, I can do his mask.
A fearsome mask, crafted of rare geisteel and bound with black leather. It was once partially fused with the flesh of a face.
This distinctive mask, used by a nameless knight, inspired terror in lesser men. No one cared who he was before he wore this mask, but many surely did after.

Jeremiah Ramirez
Jeremiah Ramirez

9830777
he did it
with trips
Impossible.

Carson Morgan
Carson Morgan

Fuck, I deleted it cause I fucked up spoilers. Sorry, user.

Kevin Green
Kevin Green

I fucking lost it. Beautiful.

Asher Wright
Asher Wright

A second post came through, and I screencapped just in case.

David Bell
David Bell

Do it, OP.
FUCKING DO IT!

Robert Clark
Robert Clark

Branch of a young white birch received from a giant, apparently as a token of friendship.

This is an item of finest quality, with purpose as varied as a mind can construe. Unfortunately, it has been perverted to serve as an implement of depraved mentalities.

"Good friend, no hit."

Owen Turner
Owen Turner

Armor of a long-forgotten knight. It hearknes from the age of gods, and is imbued with the strength of lightning.

The Dragoon were a order of heroic dragonslayers, who dedicated themselves to the art of the spear. Their exploits made them renowned across the lands, and tales of their victories spread far and wide.

Alexander Moore
Alexander Moore

(*hearkens)

Mason Rivera
Mason Rivera

Amazing. It should be a crime to be this based.
Thanks, OP.

Leo Reed
Leo Reed

OP fucked off a long time ago. I'm just carrying on the tradition In true Souls fashion.

Mason Sanchez
Mason Sanchez

So you chose to link the Fire, but how long can you delay the Age of Dark?

Justin Cruz
Justin Cruz

A ponderous tome, written in an ancient tongue. Bring to an sage to decipher the contents.

Written by a man whose ideals led him to his death, it serves as a telling remainder to those who would let their hearts lead their minds.

Joshua Garcia
Joshua Garcia

Odd cloth garb worn by spooks from an
Eastern land. Designed so as not to hinder
their unique form of martial arts.

This armor once belonged to a man broken by what duty demanded of him. White it sacrifices defense for the sake of greater mobility, it does offer resistance to bleeding and poison among other things, perhaps due to the nature of espionage.

Last one, I'm out.

Dylan Campbell
Dylan Campbell

Poyo!

Liam Fisher
Liam Fisher

This one is pretty good.

Eli Ramirez
Eli Ramirez

You are a hero OP, I'll be capping everything in this thread tomorrow. Fine work, 3/3

James Ross
James Ross

what the fuck

Thomas Peterson
Thomas Peterson

You notice the chocolate gets shorter.

Parker James
Parker James

**In reality, you're taking a 'block' off in width, making the whole bar shorter

Angel Davis
Angel Davis

Hold the fuck up, is this what jap smartphones look like? I fucking want one.

Mason Martinez
Mason Martinez

intelligence 40

Benjamin Gomez
Benjamin Gomez

An arcane confectionary devised by the School of Mensis, white as clear moonlight. Separated into small bricks.

While certainly palatable, it may only be eaten at right angles, and to do otherwise is to invite the very wrath of the cosmos.

The sympathy and mercy of the Great Ones are great, yet some sins cannot be so easily forgiven.

Cooper Lopez
Cooper Lopez

Can somebody describe this death trap?

Jason Mitchell
Jason Mitchell

intelligence 40

Gavin Phillips
Gavin Phillips

It's a fucking chink chair, made out of shit materials and the "pump" what contain pressed air tend to explode launching piece of metal right up your ass hole.

Leo Hill
Leo Hill

A chair with a simple but highly tensioned pressure-activated stake in the seat. Intended to kill unattentive man-beasts.

An unsavory device designed by the small Præsepe Workshop, distributed amongst Yharnam's characteristic urban clutter.

Those in the advanced stages of the Scourge are relentless prowlers, but even they need rest. All the better to gut them when they seek it.

Matthew Baker
Matthew Baker

Describe her clothes.

Carson Baker
Carson Baker

If no one is looking, why not try donning it, and see what it does for your confidence?
you are cracking me up

Josiah Peterson
Josiah Peterson

Awesome, now describe this man's boss soul.

Isaac Evans
Isaac Evans

Someone should really shop these as actual menu descriptions and items.

Mason Wright
Mason Wright

he fell for the MUH MAGIC meme

magic is shit

all i have to do to kill a magicuck is dodge his stupid shit spells a couple of times and then they're absolutely defenseless because they have no weapons and no armor to defend themselves with

Benjamin Rodriguez
Benjamin Rodriguez

Describe these digits.

No seriously, do it

Thomas Evans
Thomas Evans

Thread of the Year

Hunter Wright
Hunter Wright

Garb of a woman-hunter of the Præsepe Workshop and its namesake. A heathen outlander bearing a Caryll rune birthmark, she was snatched at an early age by the Healing Church, and raised amongst the Pthumerian remnants of the Mensis School as an artificer.

Being only a dress and tool harness, it is entirely too light for Yharnam's clime, let alone combat. Nonetheless, it is fitting workwear for the Præsepe eccentric, who has devised many implements of death for the inner chambers of the Church.

Soul of the dubious Marionette Maker, shyster of the unvirtuous and foolish.

Use to acquire many souls, or take a seat to extract its true strength.

The Marionette Maker ensnared countless men with his sacrificial puppets, inflaming their sins to feed his own malice. Each pitiable marionette suffered immeasurably alongside those they unwittingly damned, but with no will of their own, why were they given feeling?

A strange round medallion depicting a circle within a pyramid within a square. The surface material is gold, yet the engravings reveal that the core is only dull lead.

'Squaring the circle' is a longstanding alchemical mystery, and the key to both material transposition and spiritual immortality. This trinket brings one no closer to the answer, but perhaps someone of expertise might be able to make use of it.

Gavin Mitchell
Gavin Mitchell

Describe this!

David Cook
David Cook

Use to acquire many souls, or take a seat to extract its true strength.

Nicely done.

Angel Jenkins
Angel Jenkins

painting a real gun to have the colors of fake gun

Ethan Morris
Ethan Morris

Experimental Powder Keg repeating pistol with a novel spring-feeding design.Garishly lacquered, the 'Bell'- so called for the clamor of its cycling mechanisms- does little damage on individual shots, but is quite quick on the draw.

A rare example of a trick firearm, feathering the trigger in quick succession will ignite the entire magazine of quicksilver bullets after a time delay in a blast that rivals cannon fire. Unfortunately, the weapon is broken in the process.

Hunter Russell
Hunter Russell

A curious weapon, crafted to resemble a child's plaything, and yet possessing of the same destructive power as the object it purports to mimic.

Such trickery will not fool a wary opponent more than once, but perhaps once is all you need.

Jayden Robinson
Jayden Robinson

Great job, OP!

Now, describe her, in detail please!

Brandon Cruz
Brandon Cruz

paint guns bright orange so the cops and other retards don't recognize them
carry them openly
bring them into "gun-free" zones
???
PROFIT!

Jeremiah Phillips
Jeremiah Phillips

clickondetroit.com/news/defenders/defenders-criminals-using-orange-tips-on-real-guns

Jack Gomez
Jack Gomez

Did someone archive this?
OP is a fucking genius

Blake Brooks
Blake Brooks

how about this disgusting shit

Oliver Reyes
Oliver Reyes

Soul of the Iron Tusk of Carthus.

High Lord Wolnir conquered many lands, with many arms of his legions often being purloined from the vanquished. The well-learned land of Friken, resigned to their fate, chose to pledge vassalage rather than face conquest, and knowing his personal affinity for the implements of war, sent this steel-spitting fighting engine as a gift.

Though the Archduke of Friken was nonetheless burnt alive, and by his own creation no less, Wolnir was pleased by the gesture, sparing Friken from full occupation for their submission. So long as they continued to devise such murderous works, of course.

Nathaniel Bell
Nathaniel Bell

A trite painting by an Irithyllian eccentric. Depicts a fighting woman in gauche dress, or undress as it were.

Though courtly love is amongst the knightly virtues, this is a rather unwholesome interpretation to say the least.

An unsettling arcane surgical tool of the Choir consisting of a huge quicksilver needlepoint and a large hollow core. Used for directly implanting eyes on the brain.

Rather than making an incision, the church doctors instead use the liquid metal proboscis to melt through the skull. Those who survive the process inevitably become Kin, their heads bloated with mucous-like serum and eyes on the inside. Such is the cost of evolution without courage.

Isaac Robinson
Isaac Robinson

I did
archive.is/tDLf7

i'll archive it again later

Jose Collins
Jose Collins

breddy gud

Parker Sanders
Parker Sanders

God, OP is really on FIRE!

One more OP, describe this horrific(yet awesome) scene!

Evan Long
Evan Long

Thanks famerino

Jonathan Gonzalez
Jonathan Gonzalez

Not OP, he's still gone, but sure.

Collapsing trap walkway of the Præsepe workshop. Consists of dull blades spaced far apart, held between rigid iron girding. Used in Church research halls as a containment measure, the locking mechanisms are disengaged by sudden, violent pressure on the stiff lever bars.

Woe to the lowly wretches who might find themselves against a hammer wielding inner Church guardsman, for they are all too likely to be cleaved in twain and cast to the abyss by these tremendous blood-rusted jaws.

Christian Brooks
Christian Brooks

You're very talented, user.

Jose Fisher
Jose Fisher

Salt
In a pinch

You pile of shit you

Nicholas Miller
Nicholas Miller

A halter made of leather dyed black. A favourite amongst the slavers of High Lord Wolnir.

The High Lord conquered as he saw fit, killed those who would not kneel, and enslaved many who would. This collar serves as reminder of their wretched state.

Carson White
Carson White

OP here. Went to bed, woke up, saw that the thread had 188 replies. Good fucking work user, it does my soul good to see this.

I'm out today, but hopefully the thread can survive a while longer.

Thank you kind sir

Cameron Williams
Cameron Williams

An oddly formed sickle blade. Seemingly more ceremonial than practical.

Each kingdom, in its time, derived arms and armor of unique ken and used them to establish dominion over its subjects and its enemies. Alas, all their effort was in vain, for ruin awaits them all.

Nolan Murphy
Nolan Murphy

oh boy

Ryan Price
Ryan Price

A bitter drink. Temporary boost to stamina recovery speed, at the cost of health.

This unpalatable brew was reviled in its heyday by living and Undead alike. Yet even the most bitterest of concoctions can be a boon to the thirsty.

Evan Russell
Evan Russell

*the bitterest

Thomas Wood
Thomas Wood

A delectable sweet drink, stored in glass bottles and favoured by the royalty and commoners of Astora alike. Comes in lots of six.

Although the taste may sooth your withered spirits, do not overindulge. With food, as with life, too much of a good thing can cause more ills than it cures.

Colton Watson
Colton Watson

do both of these

Jaxson Thomas
Jaxson Thomas

A paper roll of odd make, soft and brittle to the touch. Has no discernable use.

Many things that come out of the eastern lands are incomprehensible in both craft and purpose. This bears odd etchings that hint at a depraved mind.

William Young
William Young

the portrait of this woman, o great Appraiser

Jaxson Hughes
Jaxson Hughes

A sword with a segmented blade.When swung its segments separate and strike in a flurry of slashes.

The knights of the Sanctum City favoured the most eclectic of weapons, which they employed with reckless abandon. Despite its appearance, this sword is formadible in the right hands.

Daniel Harris
Daniel Harris

*formidable damn it, I keep fucking up.

Noah Foster
Noah Foster

A curious bow forged of unfamiliar materials. It is said that the maker did not intend for it to be held by human hands.

Seemingly too elaborate to be practical in combat, but it must surely have a use, because for what other purpose could it have been made?

Angel Jackson
Angel Jackson

Portrait of a flame-haired woman. The artist evidently took great liberty with her appearance.

Ariamis was a talented artisan, and his work blossomed under the patronage of the Great Lord Gwyn. This is but one of his prolific works.

Dominic Walker
Dominic Walker

One of the trick weapons of the workshop, commonly used by hunters on their duties.

This lute was crafted lovingly of some eldritch ore that retained sound far better than common wood. It is a musician's instrument, yet its sound is anathema to the beasts that roam the streets of Yharnam.

Asher Morales
Asher Morales

A curious contraption that has no discernable use. Made of many interconnecting parts.

The Choir crafted many heresies in their quest for ascendancy. Doubtless, this thing must have been assigned some grand purpose, but now it stands silent as the grave.

Jaxson Brown
Jaxson Brown

spice

Ian Green
Ian Green

A cake bearing a grave image. Restores a large amount of HP.

In Drangleic, the toppling of the Great Towers is celebrated with an annual feast, of which this cake is a remnant.

Food is of no great comfort to the undead, but there is something nostalgic about this one

Dominic Bennett
Dominic Bennett

Know it's been done, but couldn't resist:

One of the trick weapons of the Minstrel's Workshop. An obtuse stone mace that conceals a delicate lute within.

The Minstrels were a small group of hunters who found their origins in the Healing Church. They perceived a power in the arias sung by the Choir, and sought to shape their sound into a weapon that could wound the beasts of Yharnam.

The Minstrels are now long gone, and weapons such as these are valuable treasures.

Liam Reed
Liam Reed

Crafted at the Lindelt Monastery to replicate an ancient, sacred sword. Characterized by its deadly blade.

Monastic orders preferred strange weapons that suited their disposition. This sword, though nearly weightless, is a hazard in the hands of the uninitiated.

Carter Lopez
Carter Lopez

What can you tell me about this mysterious sword?

David Price
David Price

FUCK damn mobile posting, let's try that again

Connor Sanders
Connor Sanders

A hollow torus made of rare geisteel. Has no discernable purpose.

Geisteel ore is extremely hard to come by, thus Vendrick reserved these weapons for only the cream of his court. The art of its use, however, has been lost to time.

Liam Hall
Liam Hall

FIX THIS SHIT CODEMONKEY FUCK

Here's a link to the image, since it won't fucking post pictures

i.sli.mg/2f8w5x.jpg

Jacob Campbell
Jacob Campbell

how very mysterious

Daniel Hall
Daniel Hall

(34) damn OP was not a faggot at all today sound the alarm

Lincoln Barnes
Lincoln Barnes

An oddly shaped sword that seems unusable on first sight. But grasp the hilt, and you will feel the great power within.

Many things once widely known have been lost in the passage of time, not the least of which is the forging of this powerful weapon. But one has to ask, is this feeling but a delusion of the mind?

Yeah, yeah, I'm bored.

Jeremiah Moore
Jeremiah Moore

that gun doesn't have a rotating barrel if you see the sheet you could figure out that shot 3 bullets at the same time

Liam Garcia
Liam Garcia

The golden armor of the Ordinators, an ancient order of military knights.Wearing this outfit was said to be the sacred right of a select bloodline, though in truth it can be donned by anyone.

The Ordinators watched the streets with a keen eye, and exacted swift punishment on any they deemed scum.

Kevin Gonzalez
Kevin Gonzalez

Lets go with another bb fanweapon

Henry Gonzalez
Henry Gonzalez

An odd staff, made off interlinking pieces of metal. It is warm to the touch.

Magic is a product of the soul, and a staff is but a catalyst. But look into the bloodred gem that crowns this ancient stave, and wonder, are you deluding yourself?

Isaac Bennett
Isaac Bennett

An odd weapon, pioneered by the Workshop. Scales with Arcane.

This flail is topped by a sturdy lantern containing a most unusual flame. Its light is a balm to the hunter, and the bane of the beast, who is scorched by its very presence.

Levi Perry
Levi Perry

Hopefully this picture doesn't malfunction on me since it is blank below the Select/drop/paste files here box.

Nathan Evans
Nathan Evans

A number of belts strung together in a perculiar way.

Just as the material it is made of, the purpose of this item has flaked away with time.

Chase Wood
Chase Wood

Fugg

Charles Morris
Charles Morris

Their swords.

Lincoln James
Lincoln James

last archive. I have to go, someone please take over after this.
archive.is/xftcD

Noah Bell
Noah Bell

I have condensed these two posts into one image for posterity

Eli Bailey
Eli Bailey

Include the OP, so you can tell what the topic is

John Flores
John Flores

restores hp upon each successful kill
nice touch

Adrian Garcia
Adrian Garcia

How about it?

Eli Kelly
Eli Kelly

A Glove said to belong to Captain Dorn, this glove inflicts pain upon the wearer.

Although unknown as to why one would wear this glove, it was the particular stylings of a "Fists" Legion

Ayden Thomas
Ayden Thomas

A confusing mask of ancient materials, its function is unknown as it inhibits eyesight.

Perhaps the garment of choice for a monk, or one who would spend hours in solitary meditations.

Xavier Edwards
Xavier Edwards

So the boom hammer

Parker Reed
Parker Reed

Khopesh
Ceremonial
I hope you mean that as in the actual pictured sword and not the type of weapon.

Robert Clark
Robert Clark

He could have just called it what it is, a god damn piece of trash.

Jackson Ross
Jackson Ross

Paired Curved Swords said to be held by the Laughing Duo, two notorious warriors from the East.

Said to act both as one in the battlefield, the Duo defeated many foes on the battlefield, and made sure to always do it with a pompuos smile on their faces, thus the name.

A peculiar weapon, has a blade as if it was a sword and, at the same time, ranged power not unlike a blunderbuss.

Jack of all trades, master of none.This weapon underperformed in both ranged and melee fights, and was phased out for more reliable equipment.

Wooden stacks meant to be worn under one's fingernails.

The purpose of such thing is unknown, it seems more fit to be a torture device than armor.

While wearing those, bleed build-up will be inflicted upon yourself when fist weapons are used.

Long Katana of the East.

One of the many failures to improve upon the design of the Washing Pole, this weapon breaks extremely easy, and lacks the power of a regular katana.

Bonus damage against females.

Cloth garments that offer little protection.
The inscribings upon it have been long lost to time, one can only see the word "EAT APE", the meaning of such expression has been lost, if it ever existed at all.

Adrian Perry
Adrian Perry

Good job.

Colton Baker
Colton Baker

An old, giant black longsword, said to be taller than the man who welded it.

Incredibly enough, its owner was strong enough to use it properly with just one hand, while wearing restrictive clothing nonethless.

Jacob Wilson
Jacob Wilson

away away

Nicholas Hughes
Nicholas Hughes

bump

Nathan Wood
Nathan Wood

Said to once be a painting of some kind of belt, floating in a beautiful landscape.

But it appears that now it's just little more than a sludged mess, probably the result of a bad attempt to copy it, or maybe even water damage.

Dominic Lee
Dominic Lee

Soul of Madness,
one of the twisted souls, seeped in strenght.

Use it to acquire visions of madness, or transpose it to control the anger within.

Few would dare to confront a mad man, a person that goes through any lengths to get what he wants, let this be a lesson for all, that this is what happens to those who never get what they desire so much.

Asher Watson
Asher Watson

You guys are actually pretty good at this.
I guess you can figure out the general format by reading the descriptions of every item you get.

Elijah Nelson
Elijah Nelson

Describe this

David Lewis
David Lewis

______________________

_________no______________

fuck_______u

Jace Harris
Jace Harris

BEHOLD, I҉ AM ҉MADNESS,҉ EVERYTHING YOU DO NOT ҉K҉N҉OW҉

Jacob Ramirez
Jacob Ramirez

GAZE҉ INTO THE VERY EYES OF CHAOS ITSELF. DISCARD REASON, A҉ND SEE REALITY ROT, WITNESS THE DECAY SWAL҉LOW ҉THE UNIVERSE

Jacob Roberts
Jacob Roberts

Archaeon The Everchosen please go

Evan White
Evan White

just the stick

Brandon Cox
Brandon Cox

Bumping a good thread.

Henry Jenkins
Henry Jenkins

tfw no one wants to write dark fantasy lore for wrestler items

Wyatt Carter
Wyatt Carter

Before the discovery of iron smelting, metals such as the ones used in this weapon were only found in stones that descended from heaven, believed to be gifts from ancient gods.

This particular design evolved from the battle axes of an even older time, into a more practical killing tool. The curved tip of the sword could serve as a hook, as well as a bludgeon.

Jacob Thompson
Jacob Thompson

That's a shinai, sonny.

Camden Lewis
Camden Lewis

Alright lets see what I have.
Have fun.

John Ross
John Ross

Soul serving as the core of the Butter Golem, guardian of Ryibelet Castle, and slayer of countless heroes seeking Praven.

Originally the heart of a treacherous Sarleon Lord.

Use to acquire a huge amount of souls, or to create a unique weapon.

Luke Evans
Luke Evans

God damn it.

I was in the middle of writing one for that image, too.

Jeremiah Jenkins
Jeremiah Jenkins

Post it anyway

Joseph Anderson
Joseph Anderson

I deleted it halfway through.

Carson Foster
Carson Foster

the shotgun amusingly dismembers as if it fires axes.

Cameron Perry
Cameron Perry

describe the following:

Alexander Cox
Alexander Cox

You're good.

Elijah Turner
Elijah Turner

You know what you're doing.

Carson Lee
Carson Lee

Who in their right mind would bother carrying this around? Perhaps you need help.

Jeremiah Morris
Jeremiah Morris

What does the Appraiser have to say on the infamous pizza cutter sword?

Liam Gutierrez
Liam Gutierrez

It looks like shit.

Carter Long
Carter Long

archive.is/s9KFk
web.archive.org/web/20160627171925/https://hollaforums.com/thread/9829017/video-games

Here's some archives. I tried to grab a screenshot but doing so crashed firefox.

Adam Barnes
Adam Barnes

Jester's clothing originating from the Age of Fire. The garment imitates the look of a confectionery popular in such days, and was the unique clothing of a servant of the Lords.

It is said that the servant fled Lordran after being accused of innumerable vile crimes. The tale of his flight while still draped in this unconventional cloth has since become an enduring nursery rhyme.

Nathan Green
Nathan Green

A handgun made in a time before the workshop, and thus, ineffective.

This handgun was once the answer to an old question of firing more than one bullet at a time. Fortunately, there were better weapons that held a better answer later on.

Due to it's age, the mechanism it uses to fire will occasionally fail.

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