Questionable Malcontent - Inevitable Robocock Edition

Lincoln Robinson
Lincoln Robinson

Big congratulations to Jeph for making it to strip 3666, reminding us once again that QCville is hell. Also, if anyone feels like picking up making the OPs in the future that'd be nice. Definitely didn't almost forget to save half the stuff from the last thread.
Previous thread: archive.fo/KPAvn >>944259

Archives
Edits: gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_Edits/tree/master
OC: gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_OC/tree/master
Threads archive: gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_Threads/wikis/home

Older stuff (Editfag Prime):
Edits: imgur.com/a/Sf5J0
Omits: imgur.com/a/HtKr0
Twitter Bully: imgur.com/a/Jb1a1
OC: imgur.com/a/kSZcE

All urls found in this thread:

archive.fo/KPAvn
gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_Edits/tree/master
gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_OC/tree/master
gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_Threads/wikis/home
imgur.com/a/Sf5J0
imgur.com/a/HtKr0
imgur.com/a/Jb1a1
imgur.com/a/kSZcE
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BizarreAlienSexes
snopes.com/military/stresscards.asp
lardlad.com/assets/quotes/season16/GABF05.shtml

Joseph Wilson
Joseph Wilson

I'm kinda sad these threads have slowed down so much. They were hella fun to lurk but I guess we'll have to wait for the next big fuck up.

Easton Bailey
Easton Bailey

And while we are waiting for the Great Lesbianing, Jeph offers us one of the worst drawn strips in recent times. Menstro face is godawful, with a nose big enough to give /pol/ autistic fits and no irises, the simil-anime panel is an abomination of out-of-place attempt at humor, and Menstro's eye in the last panel are Beyoncé belief.

Nolan Perry
Nolan Perry

Sorry for the autocorrect, it was beyond instead of Beyoncé……..

Mason Allen
Mason Allen

Is he trying to do the Gunnerkrigg thing where silly moments are intentionally drawn in low detail?

Chase Morales
Chase Morales

The low detail panel actually looks good. Wouldn't min if that was his new style for the whole comic.

Aaron Cook
Aaron Cook

With every strip the utility of this robot declines even further.
Soldier, what is over that hill
<I don't wanna
Soldier we need the recon
<unh uh
Solider you are jeopardizing the safety of the entire unit
<oh it's always about you isn't it

Speaking of AI, 14 year old girls have tricked Google, Apple, or whatever autocorrect into believing "Beyoncé" is a more relevant suggestion than "beyond"

Probably, but he's been doing this for a while.

He should just replace this thing with Bembo.

Jayden Price
Jayden Price

Oh dang these threads are finally back, I missed those
I hate when Jeph tries to be "cute". His chibi shit is horrid and only looks lazy.
It's weird how talented people manage to make small effort look good nonetheless, but Jacques is so bad as soon as you notice even less of an attempt it looks grating.

Christian Reyes
Christian Reyes

finally back
Never stopped, the last one just sat on the catalog for an extra long time since we got the new pages.

Jose Williams
Jose Williams

Oh… well I missed out I guess.

Zachary Evans
Zachary Evans

Spoonfeed me. What is the big deal about this comic? I've only ever seen the tranny meme comic.

Ryan Butler
Ryan Butler

There are theories as to what it is actually about…
It used to be slice of life involving indie music but as more an more social issues got added it became a shadow of its former self.
Now, what were once the main characters have been completely sidelined and we haven't seen them for months - it is now almost exclusively relationshit, with shoehorned degenerates and minorities, but all of them hipsters.
All this is because the author/artist, Jeph Jacques, foolishly caved in to the demands of his deranged fanbase.
Now he is completely at their mercy and daren't set a foot wrong or portray sexual deviants in anything but a positive light or else he will lose his income, entirely.
Yet still, the fans and other deluded fools praise the comic for its "inclusivity" and tout it as the greatest thing ever, despite the fact that nothing happens and plots are constantly set in motion yet never resolved. All this with liberal smatterings of lolsorandumb "humour", ensuring the bare minimal brainpower is required to process it.
There are also times when drama is hinted at, yet Jeph runs away, screaming, when the time comes to commit - were are told there is oppression, yet we never see it. We are told there is bigotry against sexual minorities and robots, but it never happens. The setting is supposedly post-singularity, but all that results in is more interactive household novelties. And somehow all the hipster cast manage to make comfortable livings, despite nearly never interacting with anyone except each other.
It's a world where any unusual emotions or attempts at independent thought by the cast are met with a heavy dose of author-prescribed prozium. Yet still the comic gathers praise.

Only we, in this thread, can see the Emperor is naked and are not afraid to say so.

Evan Allen
Evan Allen

For me the biggest charm is watching Stabby, the author, coming up with decent characters and good ideas, then fucking them up in amusing and goofy ways due to lazyness and horrid storytelling.
It's more or less "so bad is hilarious, the comic"

Anthony Clark
Anthony Clark

It's been amusing watching all the hetereosexual characters get sidelined or converted to gay one at a time. It's to the point where the comic no longer features heterosexuals. The last hetereosexual pairing was Dale and Marigold and they were deleted immediately after.

I think Momo X May is next, despite Momo clearly being heterosexual.

And the relationships are so bad. Jeph actually did a credible job at it when Marten and Dora were a thing, and even Faye and Sven to their extent, but he's degenerated to the point of sub-fanfiction level where the characters get together and then he has to introduce more new characters because he doesn't know what to do.

Jayden Ross
Jayden Ross

My current working theory is that the past few years have been a simulation inside Pintsize's head.
See, the characters keep getting fatter because of his obsession with butts, but his framework is grounded in real-world physics and biology, so the fat goes all over in order to inflate everyone's ass.
Faye got with the tranny because pintsize needed someone to keep Faye single, and depressed, and make sure her alcoholism took over, getting her fired and into robot fabrication.
Every story just stops and starts so Pintsize can get the necessary variables from it and move on to the next sequence, all aiming for one singular goal: to get a giant dong fabricated onto his body.
That's why this universe makes no goddamn sense, why all the relationshit is so seamy at the edges. Pintsize is warping probability to bring himself closer to a series of events where he can get a huge dong, and this is so improbable in the normal universe that you get such weird shit happening in the simulation.
All we'd need is for a complete cultural turnabout, and our spineless Stabby would turn around entirely and cater to the new audience, and reveal the entire thing as just a perverted little robot's scheme to get a robo-dick.

Charles Clark
Charles Clark

a computer is upset at reason and logic

Austin Adams
Austin Adams

AIs having feelings
AIs resorting to calling things offensive
AIs being unable to improve their communication skills
AIs thinking it's bad that humans would want to understand them better
Imagine having an AI character that wasn't just a woman.

Jack Diaz
Jack Diaz

Imagine having an AI character that wasn't just a woman.

Yeah, they take over the world and get results.
Id say simply put: They make all AIs as emotional as possible so they don't go insane from the power.

"I should Organize killbot platoons into section B C and Q….But the JERKS from Section F called me FAT so Im sending all my killbot power there, and gonna go watch Sex in the Mainframe until I feel better"

Jace Powell
Jace Powell

I'm upset about what someone thinks
Better passive-aggressively bitch about it instead of telling her why she's wrong
Do you think Jeph even knows why the comparison is a bad thing, or is he doing the thing where comparing one item to another means that you're assuming that the first thing has every trait of the metaphor item? Obviously, Jeph is in the Nukes=Bad camp, so saying "AI changed the scope of humanity like Nukes did" is the same as saying "AI are terrible and should be dismantled". I think he just threw it out there like SJWs throw out Hitler when saying people are mean, without understanding the thing, the argument, or the metaphor item.

Jackson Fisher
Jackson Fisher

A bipedal tankbot is upset being compared to a weapon
A bipedal tankbot is capable of being upset at being compared to a weapon, and isn't defective.

Blake Jenkins
Blake Jenkins

Also, remember me why robots have genders and sexes?
Where exactly does the need emerge? And while we're at it, why does robot have "male and female" genders?
If you want to force the "gender is a spectre" thing, you might as well go all the way.
Stabby, we know you read here, see tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BizarreAlienSexes

Julian Clark
Julian Clark

How the fuck does Stabby know about Holla Forums? Most artists barely know 4chan.

Dominic Sanchez
Dominic Sanchez

I see two reasons for this shit.
1) Is that the dogfucker is lazy and uncreative, and trying to conceptualise how an AI would think and act requires effort and creativity. Much easier to write kooky palette-swapped humans, then come up with shaky post hoc justifications for why that's what they are. Hell, Jacques can't even write a human as thinking different from him, let alone write something nonhuman. Seriously, read back. Everyone either has his personality or no discernible personality.
2) Is the fact that flannel fag bought the social construction narrative so hard he genuinely believes that if you put a nonhuman intelligence in contact with humans it would act human, with our exact biases and irrationalities.

Both of these make the nonstop stream of "humans are stupid" "humans are flawed" "robots would run things better (and by better I mean the exact way Jeph Jacques would run them)" comments from AI especially dumb. Let's not kid ourselves Jeph. They're just fucking humans.

Samuel Gomez
Samuel Gomez

Everyone either has his personality or no discernible personality.
There's a difference?

John Watson
John Watson

Yes. The ones with no discernible personality tend to be more interesting.

Colton Lopez
Colton Lopez

They're just humans
See, there you go writing better sci-fi than he does. A setting where the govronment is imprinting people's minds onto robots is an actually interesting premise that could open up lots of storytelling options and make us question the nature of humanity.

So OBVIOUSLY it can't be that way.

Jayden Sullivan
Jayden Sullivan

Arguably worse than humans. A person has at least the excuse of genetic quirks and emotional trauma to act like a cluster B, or being mentally retarded. The sheer knowledge of their mind's workings to emulate weed should also lend the knowledge of how to just erase disastrous traits like that, meaning they're broken either by design, or choice. There's also absolutely no risk involved in prodding at them, since consciousness of robots in his story can be downloaded, stored, and uploaded with so little risk that there are mall kiosks selling bodies. They could just fuck with a copy of them, starting from stock until something took hold. Basically the beginning plot of SOMA, except everything would work out.

Logan Myers
Logan Myers

It's like every time he recognises a plot hook or a potential source of drama, action or adventure in his own work he freaks out and immediately defuses it with awkward humour.
Like, didn't menstrualbot used to be supposed to be in illegal robot fighting except robot fighting isn't actually illegal?

Eli Richardson
Eli Richardson

hella

Liam Sanchez
Liam Sanchez

I wrote a long ass autistic backstory for a character who happened to be an AI in a roleplaying game. The idea is that she did indeed act like you would expect an AI to act: cold, logical and stoic. Not necessarily a bad person nor rude at all, though, just barely emotional. Part of the joke was that my friends did not know she was an AI, as she presented herself as a human. The second part of the joke, after revealing that she was indeed an gynoid, was to show that she was the only AI to act like that because she was defective, and all other AI acted like regular healthy people and friendly normalfags.

The idea was that the only way humans found to ensure AI did not go rampant on them was to give them a happy early life. They put their extremely expensive nanomachine brains (which worked on principles similar to neurons, but their brain architecture was not quite like ours) inside a really fast simulation of reality in which they would interact with each other, interact with humans and human teachers, have a lovely mother (BBYS unit, another type of gynoid built to love and take care of children androids; my character's BBYS had been educating androids for a while and she made sure to call her hundred children at least once a week to see how they were going, and that was the only moment my character exhibited a hint of emotion), and basically, learn how to be humans and become a whole family before being given their own physical bodies built out of cyborg parts (it was easier to reuse many already designed implants and interface them with android-specific pieces than to produce them exclusively for androids).

You may think this is a cop out, and that AI should never behave like humans and more or less like we would expect an AI to act, but it is what Blade Runner was going at. Humans are fallible, but they can be easily controlled, much more so than a perfect intelligence with no emotions.

Of course, Handstab would never rip off Blade Runner, because that would make his comic interesting

Dominic Cruz
Dominic Cruz

Make a robot
Make it female
Give it all the negative traits of a woman, but none of the positive
Use it as a soldier

3) OMG it's sooooooo cute!!!

Both of these make the nonstop stream of "humans are stupid" "humans are flawed" "robots would run things better (and by better I mean the exact way Jeph Jacques would run them)" comments from AI especially dumb.
This is true. These comments also make their whining about humans saying mean things extra whiny.

Blake Cooper
Blake Cooper

Strangely enough, Clarence works better as a struggling AI than Menstro does.
"This is how human females behave! R-right, Marten?! I'm just like them!"

Colton Richardson
Colton Richardson

Plot twist: He's a robot that OD'd on magnets

Nathan Smith
Nathan Smith

It's a West Coast thing, yo

Lucas Ramirez
Lucas Ramirez

Give it all the negative traits of a woman, but none of the positive
Add lying to the list.

Jonathan Reyes
Jonathan Reyes

There's Stabby's butt fetish showing itself again.

Brandon Watson
Brandon Watson

Christ Hand should never 'create' new characters ever again. The only thing that comes from it is disappointment.

Cooper Rodriguez
Cooper Rodriguez

"Get it, she heats up when she gets emotional. Like a real person only I have an excuse to do a cartoony effect. I am a genius."
Except she's a robot, this response has never happened before and would certainly have to be voluntary, and the concept is fundamentally nonsensical.

But I understand Jeph's pain. If he doesn't force a punchline every three panels the voices in his head get louder.

Jayden Cox
Jayden Cox

It makes perfect sense for a robot to do that if its goal was to emotionally manipulate someone. A quick web search would probably find hundreds of theories on the best way to present yourself to humans for a variety of benefits. Many of her "conversations" could have been a low-key Meyers-Briggs test, intended to categorize Faye's personality for better word and gesture optimization on Menstro's part.

The real question is: "What do we think Menstro's end goal is in fostering a slow burn lesbian relationship with Faye?"

Parker Watson
Parker Watson

If this was a comedy the idea that a computer would max out its processor and overheat trying to process the idea of human romance might constitute a joke. But Handstab's robots aren't computers and his gag-a-day webcomic isn't a comedy.

Zachary Murphy
Zachary Murphy

Note that the robots in his hard science fiction now also exhaust boiled off coolant when under stress, against their will since it's apparently embarrassing and also in an enclosed room. And the fat dyke that spent an indeterminate amount of time fixing them in an underground fight club is suddenly thrown off by the smell.

Leo Cook
Leo Cook

In a world where Jeph wasn't dumb, instead of being a soldier-bot, Menstro would slowly revealed to be a CIA spybot who can't help but be manipulative, even when it's not running operations and doesn't want to cause harm, because that is what it was programmed to do. By the end of the character arc, it becomes a scorpion and the frog/turtle style parable.

Zachary Wood
Zachary Wood

the fourth panel seems so ooc, suddenly bubbles became a hysterical tumblr post. "i TOLD her that was OFFENSIVE and she didn't CARE" shaking and crying

god someone kill jeph his comic was always shit but it is a fucking disgrace now

Camden Sanchez
Camden Sanchez

I find it hilarious that Anons here consistently have better story ideas than Jeff. This idea offers
Conflict between the AI and itself, between humans and the AI, between humans and the nature of the AI if they try to separate the AI from it's nature, between humans and the idea they form of the AI while it's manipulating them, and so much more!
Characterization The humans can be trusting or distrusting of the AI, and the reasons for that can be explored and give a good dissection of what kind of people the humans are. The AI on the other hand could have it's own personality and depending on how you work it, it could be that the AI was an emotionless machine all along and was just pretending to care, or the simulation was too good and it actually started to care, only to be forced into going against it's developed personality by it's programmed personality
World building This was an AI developed for psi-ops and spying, which gives an idea about how advanced technology is, the government that using it, and the political climate.
A modern take on an old trope scorpion and the frog
Explores the nature of AI and the human condition are humans like the AI, in that they have a "nature" they can't hope to fight against? For example the way that people who were "programmed" at a young age to trust or distrust carry that over into adulthood. Can AI's go against their programming? Can AI's feel emotions or can they only hope to emulate emotions without actually "feeling" them? Should we automatically distrust AI? Is creating AI that both feels and hurts people a moral thing to do? And so much more!

What does Jeff offer? Lame romance, bland characters, shoddy and inconstant world building, and shallow themes.

Gabriel Carter
Gabriel Carter

It's like if Ctrl+Alt+Del tried writing Ghost In The Shell.

Ayden Mitchell
Ayden Mitchell

There's also the matter of show, don't tell where the audience would discover the quandary right along with the characters. Though, if Jeph really did go with this, we'd get some expository character spitting out blocks of text over a two week period.

Isaac Walker
Isaac Walker

To be honest if Jeph were to write it his audience would need that expository character.

Mason Scott
Mason Scott

More like if Ghost in the Shell was a daily soap opera written by Jim Davis

Jackson Gonzalez
Jackson Gonzalez

Stabs would need it more than anyone. Unfortunately it would come after he toddled around the plot and ended up producing a less coherent hipster dreamscape than usual

Jonathan Stewart
Jonathan Stewart

And while we discuss AIs, alien sex, trust and metaprogramming, Jeph defuses it all with this

Alexander Fisher
Alexander Fisher

You know, there is a silver lining that hasn't been discussed: if this shipping happens, Faye finally gets written out.

Nathaniel Davis
Nathaniel Davis

Well, if there is a single thing I can give Hand Stab credit for, it is the name of the comic. It truly is Questionable "Content"…

Tyler Jenkins
Tyler Jenkins

Actually, that's a good point. Thinking about it, whenever someone ends up in a relationship in this comic, they get pulled into the back seat.
If he stays true to this method, we may never have to deal with Ugly and the Hambeast again, at least not nearly to this extent.

Brandon Nelson
Brandon Nelson

Nitpick:
Yes, it's a military robot, but if he's going to use "robots are similar emotionally and intellectually to humans" then said robot should have learned by now that "wingman" in casual conversation is referring to the slang definition.

Elijah Nelson
Elijah Nelson

And she doesn't even have the terminology right. Air support is support by planes for ground forces. A wingman is someone flying in formation with you. You aren't getting air support from your wingman.

Austin Reed
Austin Reed

Blushing.
Awkward, prissy hand gestures.
Rubbing back of head.
Hesitates to complete a sentence while it thinks of the appropriate adjective.

State of the art military technology, people!
If they enemy hear that the Menstros are taking the field, they take their own lives rather than suffer their onslaught!

James Fisher
James Fisher

Beating a squad of Menstrobots is easy, all you have to do ask them out on a date and they overheat like a Sony Playstation.

Easton Cox
Easton Cox

I'm starting to think that Menstro is a sneaky way for Jeph to laugh at autism.
Seriously, it's fucking shit at being both an AI and a robot.

Brayden Stewart
Brayden Stewart

questitseuq_malcoclam.jpg

Tyler Parker
Tyler Parker

Chads win again.

Wyatt Thompson
Wyatt Thompson

Better would be to set up a PA system and say they're worse murderers than any given weapon of war, since that's all it takes to get inside their head. Or even just loudly start badmouthing when you think their in earshot, anything remotely applicable will stick.

Owen Reyes
Owen Reyes

Leak "Classified" intelligence saying "You can identify them by their giant, ugly, hulking bodies and their stupid non-human features. Also, use tea gas to make them hallucinate."

Kevin Campbell
Kevin Campbell

Archives updated. Just realized there's still some really old archive stuff that I misfiled lying around my Holla Forums folder, so I'll add it in 8 months later this week.

Liam Miller
Liam Miller

It's been a while and I feel like I haven't missed a god damn thing. Last I left off I believe we were doing godhand edits and then I sperged on how the most roboty design was the least functional. I think his shitty side series ended a la MGS4 with a dash of Bloodborne, and I can't remember much past that.

Liam Perry
Liam Perry

The sad thing is that Warbot In Accounting did this so much better.

Henry Collins
Henry Collins

Does this thing ever stop blushing?

Eli Sanchez
Eli Sanchez

Jesus, did his art get even more flat?

Christian Wood
Christian Wood

Christ, so what are the predictions for the next week of strips?
walking down the street, being akward, Menstro blushes.
Approaching the door of the apartment, being akward, Menstro blushes.
Entering the door of the apartment, being akward, Menstro blushes.
Going into the living room of the apartment, being akward, Menstro blushes. Marten nowhere to be seen.
Approaching the bedroom door, being akward, Menstro blushes. Marten nowhere to be seen.

etc, et-fucking-c

Anthony Cook
Anthony Cook

Sharing her double ended dildo, being awkward, Menstro blushes

Hunter Price
Hunter Price

Hmm, the fans lost their fucking shit when folks asked if Clarence went all the way. I wonder how they'd react to speculation on if Menstro has a pussy socket or some sort of multi-tool adapter?

Lincoln Sanders
Lincoln Sanders

Inevitable Robocock
Please. xkcd already did that.

Levi Thomas
Levi Thomas

Is this supposed to be cute ?.. this is the blandest love development ever, hell, even his comic had better love plots so far.

Lincoln Adams
Lincoln Adams

jeph needs to let these two fuck already and get it over with. Or at least some kind of emotional release for Bubbles. Its getting to be anime tsundere romance tier now.

Cooper Kelly
Cooper Kelly

You're talking of the guy who sells "Tsundere Beholder" shirts for a living…… I fear for the future.

Kevin Morgan
Kevin Morgan

Like the rest of his pairings, Jeph is doing this at least a year too late. "Chemistry" has a half-life, both in fiction and real life, so the effect is greatly diminished when you ask the girl out a year after she wants to be asked. This is a big reason why television shows are destroyed when the male and female characters start dating after six seasons of just being indifferent coworkers.

Nolan Ward
Nolan Ward

That's actually a fairly good point. Jeph tends to write everything according to his audience's wishes, "hey everyone likes/hates this/that, I should do it like it". At least it gets him patreon dollars.
Thing is, it implies we can absolutely guess how the entire story will progress at least six months in advance by simply looking at the various forums discussing his comic. "Everyone wants that character to be gay for the robutt, get ready for it to become a massive plotpoint".
I hate this so much

Jayden Clark
Jayden Clark

Yeah, that's the thing - strong relationships can be formed through adversity. The time and place for that to happen between Menstro and Faye has long since past.
For robo romance to be blossoming now, when everything is fine and safe and boring, is just that itself; boring.

And now that I'm thinking of the Robot Wars place, I still find it incredible that anyone would thing opening this Robo Repairs joint would be a good idea - they deliberately left what would have been a steady source of income since the 'Wars became legit, only to set up competition to the joint they helped establish in the first place.
It's like if Richard and Maurice McDonald broke away to set up a fucking burger van as competition to their own franchise.

Only someone in Jeph's fucking position could ever see that as a good idea - they don't like legitimate, thriving business; they want everything they like to be an exclusive club.

Ryan Gray
Ryan Gray

Why are you namefagging?

Owen Clark
Owen Clark

He's a cringeworthy ostensibly-French pedo who's fucked up virtually everything he's touched since at least the GG days. He namefags because he has never not namefagged. Don't even bother looking for a rationale behind it. He's even got a thread on /cow/ if you're ever hankering for a more thorough run-down.

Gabriel Rodriguez
Gabriel Rodriguez

Even the robot gets a butch haircut.

Luis Rogers
Luis Rogers

Didn't notice the ponytail in panel 3. Looked butch from the first two.

Asher Nelson
Asher Nelson

I don't know why Jeph does this. The tranny and his cock holster getting up to shenanigans with Pintsize seems far more interesting than the relationshit we've been seeing. Still caps out around 4/10, but that's leagues ahead of Fatty and Menstro.

Wyatt Long
Wyatt Long

Because implied hijinks are the perfect way to show your gag comic hasn't had a joke in years, and hasn't actually lost the plot into Tumblr tier shipping, and inane drama without setup, escalation, tension, or any sort of resolution past things solving themselves. As for the hijinks itself, my guess would be he's going to focus on the cock holster and tranny coming up, so he's setting up a reason for the tranny to have the same easy to draw bulldyke haircut everyone else has in the comic.

Cooper Nelson
Cooper Nelson

This seems to be the majority of his attempts at humour these days:
Something so totally wacky and fun happened, 5 minutes ago, off-scene! Ain't that funny?!
I'll bet the fans are lapping that shit right up, too. Imagine how easy your job would be as a stand-up comedian for those idiots:
Heh, a funny thing happened to me, once.
*applause and laughter*

Adam James
Adam James

night farts

Isaac Ramirez
Isaac Ramirez

Is it just me, or do all characters in the final panel look like cutouts ? Like, he drew them in a specific, low resolution, then simply pasted them onto the background ? I swear the two don't seem to fit at all.

Jaxson Reyes
Jaxson Reyes

Why are you namefagging?

Robert Diaz
Robert Diaz

Is his shiftkey broken too?
Spam is as gay as namefagging, poor format or whatever else you ctrl-v responses to.

Cooper Cox
Cooper Cox

That's how Jeph almost certainly composes his panels, by drawing "floating" characters and scaling them onto a background rather than integrating them into the scene. Besides not having the overall talent to do so, this is probably a reason everything is always flat. Trying for perspective with two or more references is going to force a skew.

Even when Jeph attempts perspective, the cut-out effect is obvious, see attached. I think Jeph poorly traced the background from something on Google Images.

Parker Torres
Parker Torres

This panel looks like the whole house is on a slope. This is terrible.

Dominic Mitchell
Dominic Mitchell

The reason she's cut off at "until-" is because that is the last thing she uttered before the spacetime warping gravity well consumed her mansion from the bottom of the room.

Xavier Allen
Xavier Allen

That'd finally make for a good webcomic if that happened. Well, better, at least.

Levi Mitchell
Levi Mitchell

You'd think, but that would be the last panel until 200 strips later where characters spit walls of text at each other about the time a localized black hole consumed Hannelore's mom and her mansion but with no other consequences. Then Pintsize would resolve the "tension" by saying "butts lol".

Michael Gray
Michael Gray

This sounds suspect I'm now convinced you're Jeph himself
go away jeph

Grayson Collins
Grayson Collins

Why are you namefagging?

Jayden Sullivan
Jayden Sullivan

Don't mind him, he's 8chans' resident faggot.

Lucas Rivera
Lucas Rivera

Kill yourself val

Hunter Campbell
Hunter Campbell

It's still fucking blushing.

Jace Morales
Jace Morales

Haven't they already been sleeping in the same room for quite some time? What's with this sudden pantslessness showing up only now, and what's with it embarrassing a robot?

Connor Rivera
Connor Rivera

what's with it embarrassing a robot?
because handstab wanted to write quirky roommate shenanigans but knew that nobody would believe that the fat gaslighter would have a shred of shame in her.
so he went with the more realistic choice to have the soulless automaton designed for combat be embarrassed instead.

Jaxson Carter
Jaxson Carter

Now I'm just being mean to Bubbles
Jeph is 100% correct on this, just not in the way that he meant it.

Leo Hill
Leo Hill

It's the 'ol "a year too late for this" rearing its head again. I think Jeph is doing some sort of quiet, "in-place" soft reboot where characters have selective amnesia.

Even Buckley and Willis have the balls to formally reboot their universes

Ian Brown
Ian Brown

I'll admit I'm surprised that they haven't fucked yet. Like, to me, they were dykes already. It was obvious and all. So now it's basically shitty shoujo-levels of "let's keep dragging this on for no reason".

Austin Cook
Austin Cook

Shitty shoujo levels
You're new to this party, huh? This is a rather brisk clip when held up to Jeph's normal pacing standards. Your average shitty romcom shoujo has a total print life shorter than Jeph's glacial pacing.

Jeremiah Rogers
Jeremiah Rogers

I've been following jeph's work for maybe something like twelve years honestly. Maybe ten ? Can't really remember. Used to somewhat enjoy his stuff when I was a teenager, mostly because there was new stuff every day hell, it even made me enjoy Least I could do, even though it never even amused me; the appeal was only the daily content
It's just that jeph's shit now is so grating over how boring it gets. At least when he adds forced-social justice or stupid sci-fi idiocy or even just terrible art like a painting frame literally going outside of the panel and into another one too, there's entertainment…

Juan James
Juan James

God, Faye is supposed to be "buff" but her ass is twice as large as her shoulders…..

Also a female combat robot who's afraid to see another woman in panties?!?

Lucas Fisher
Lucas Fisher

venting coolant again
stuttering and panicking

I see why those memories were erased - Menstro was discharged in disgrace for being utterly fucking useless on the battlefield and an outright liability.

Justin Brown
Justin Brown

In the future there are no locker rooms.

Nathaniel Diaz
Nathaniel Diaz

posting the inferior edition

Wyatt Kelly
Wyatt Kelly

Didn't all her comrades die horribly?

I think we just figured out why.

Juan Wilson
Juan Wilson

We don't know. Everything about what happened is pure speculation as no memories were ever recovered and Jeph ran screaming from that plot as fast as he could.
Maybe such a plot is too dark for QC but Jeph did set it up, himself. He just couldn't commit to the bit.

Cameron Taylor
Cameron Taylor

Underrated comment.

People all have separate rooms on military bases.

Zachary Lee
Zachary Lee

Manlet
Das a woman user, the blonde type.

Camden Perez
Camden Perez

People all have separate rooms on military bases.
What happened to barracks?

Julian Price
Julian Price

Its not the 70s anymore.

Elijah Ramirez
Elijah Ramirez

Modern military practices in the west are becoming a joke.
Look up the term "stress card" if you really want to go down the rabbit hole.

Jose King
Jose King

I did and Wikipedia has it listed as an urban legend.
snopes.com/military/stresscards.asp

Leo Howard
Leo Howard

Weird. My coworker is in the reserves, and he said that while he didn't see them while doing basic, a newer recruit who was in basic at the time told him about them. At the time, he didn't even know what a stress card was.
He said they were small red cards though, unfitting of the description in your link. Also, I was told about this just last year, not 2011 which is when that was written.
Are there any newer sources? I'm unsure what to believe now.

Grayson Edwards
Grayson Edwards

It's a myth. First, Drill Sargent's are trained to deal with problems that new recruits might face, such as homesickness, illness, etc., and recruits know that they can go to their Drill Sargent to seek assistance. Second, if a recruit felt they couldn't continue their training, those in charge would ask "why", as it could be a genuine problem that might cause injury, and serious injuries aren't conducive to training armed forces.

The whole thing is a political canard. Stress cards don't exist, and the closest thing I could find to it are blue papers on depression and a stress monitoring card (see pics related), both of which are for personal usage and aren't "get out of jail free" cards at all. The whole myth is just for saying "such and such are making our armed forces weak", without any understanding of the realities of training the most powerful military on earth.

So your coworker is full of shit.

Christopher Anderson
Christopher Anderson

Oh.

Ian Gutierrez
Ian Gutierrez

Why is Menstro sleeping?

Samuel Fisher
Samuel Fisher

Doesn't she always power off and plug in?

Luke Bell
Luke Bell

Maybe? I don't remember. I do remember Jeph saying the robots are operable 24/7. I guess maybe the ones from Sharper Image are but the billion dollar ones the military use require 8 hours downtime, because that makes perfect sense.

Julian Davis
Julian Davis

Jeph could have cut this arc down by half and removed the sister entirely, and it would still have made sense.
Just change those oh-so professional-looking thoughts to a montage of Menstro showing affection and the results would be the same.
In fact, it would have worked a hell of a lot better than that "lol! totally oblivious! :P XD :P" shit, I'd say.

Benjamin Allen
Benjamin Allen

Hang about… That pretty much happened 85 fucking strips ago.
If he just followed up on that at the time and not shoe-horned in his ADHD Tilly arc for no fucking payoff, the current events would have had a lot more impact.
Ah, Jeph. Missing the mark every singe time…

Carson Sanders
Carson Sanders

She's dead Jim.

William Wood
William Wood

Jeph's watching anime again.

Chase Russell
Chase Russell

Got help me, I think Chris-Chan pulls this shit off better.

Alexander Young
Alexander Young

Someone get the bucket.

Xavier Gutierrez
Xavier Gutierrez

Who's the girl ?
… wait, is that the autist ? The "I never belonged anywhere" twat ?

William Jackson
William Jackson

Yeah, Emilu who now looks like ora.

Gavin Rogers
Gavin Rogers

Finally a panel where it would make sense for Dale's glasses to be totally white, but here Jeph doesn't use it.

Zachary Smith
Zachary Smith

You know what, fuck it! He finally did something interesting with the composition and layouts! I'm not going to look a gift horse in its decaying, disgusting mouth. It's at the very least more interesting than the other bullshit.

Wyatt Adams
Wyatt Adams

Just how many staff do they need to cover the 3 customers they have?
I had no idea the guy with the glasses even fucking worked there - when was the last time we've ever seen him, anyway?

Eli Torres
Eli Torres

It's more interesting than usual, sure, but the supreme plainness of their poses in the lower-left loses it judging points. Could have maintained the handclasp while telling Dora, but no, had to let go and do whatever that is instead.

Presumably this is his idea of humorous juxtaposition, but you could have done that with Dora's expression at the end instead. Them being exaggeratedly hyped up and posing, cut to her face.

Evan Edwards
Evan Edwards

We last saw him exactly 250 strips ago, about a year in real time.

Jordan Richardson
Jordan Richardson

So I guess Momo can't work 24 hours a day anymore, either. Also she's gradually falling over. Either that or Jeph is that bad at perspective and basic angles.

Hunter Cook
Hunter Cook

She actually started levitating; handstab drew her higher in the last panel than the first

Ryan Richardson
Ryan Richardson

I don't even know how this happens. It's the same background, just zoomed in. How can the characters be so far off?

Christopher Brooks
Christopher Brooks

An actually funny joke
In QC
Are there any more?

Jose Robinson
Jose Robinson

In all fairness, it looks like the sudden height change between Rasta Weeaboo and The Amazing Blob I forgot their names is due to him changing his position from slouching to sitting upright, which does make sense.
The perspective on Momo is still daffy. It looks like she might have changed position too, but we can only see the top of her head so it's impossible to tell.

Tyler Carter
Tyler Carter

Maybe 3 in the last 8 months.

Joseph Powell
Joseph Powell

His relationships actually have progress too. Truly a master

Nathaniel Diaz
Nathaniel Diaz

lewd

Jonathan Gutierrez
Jonathan Gutierrez

Jesus, that's both a disgusting and creative way of showing a blowjob. It makes no sense whatsoever, like, is the dick supposed to have eyes ? but I definitely never saw such an ingenious idea before, and I've read my share of weird chinese erotic cartoons.

Nicholas Scott
Nicholas Scott

Holla Forums overall has really slowed the fuck down and is now even slower than /hgg/ and /animu/. Probably due to all the /tv/ raids and the fact that most of the anons here fucked off to halfchan after last year's April Fools hack. One could also blame the declining state of the animation and comic industry. Even 4/co/ is dying with the only primarily active threads on there being the Toonami threads for casual weeaboo fucks while the rest of that shit hole belongs to reddit.

Charles Walker
Charles Walker

But there haven't been any /tv/ raids, just one asshole spamming "hi /tv/" in every thread.
I can't even work out what sets him off.

Leo Adams
Leo Adams

I actually saw a urethra-cam in another comic, The Herodotus File, with Aeon Flux.

Joseph Cox
Joseph Cox

The problem is he (or maybe its more than one) does it multiple times and its usually followed by another (or possibly the same one) trying to shut down discussion and telling others to not bump threads. Idiots like that only helped to kill off board activity here, which is a shame.

Jayden Campbell
Jayden Campbell

Also doesn't help this topic in particular that QC has become more shit than ever before. At least a year ago it was shit in a way that inspired creativity, like when we had more edits, magnetfag had rewrites and baggyfag could redesign the robots.
Even the fans themselves have been pushed to the limits of tolerance with how boring and sporadic it's been.
The lost memories/robot wars arc may have been shit but at least it had direction and potential. Now it's just Jeph splattering half-baked ideas all over the fucking place and gauging the community reaction.

Cooper Moore
Cooper Moore

Pandering to fans will kill a comic. It's what killed Iron Fist Chinmi. Sometimes I think Krow was right to close the Spinnerette forums and retreat from direct interaction with his fans.

Adam Clark
Adam Clark

The guy you're responding to is that autist.

Christian Adams
Christian Adams

How can you tell? You all sound autistic to me.

Liam Price
Liam Price

I mean if it's not obvious I don't know what to tell you, it's literally one retard that popped up out of nowhere a couple of months ago.

Parker Watson
Parker Watson

Frankly, you all sound retarded to me too. I only know it's him when I say "lol" or separate paragraphs with a space and he freaks out.

Dominic Carter
Dominic Carter

What point are you trying to make here exactly?
That you're better than everyone else?

Blake Robinson
Blake Robinson

is the autist
I said "/tv/ raids" because the "hey /tv/" faggot sounds like a shitposter from /tv/ or just a genuine Kaizuku-tier asspie who derail threads by constantly spamming and saging. But what really killed Holla Forums was the April Fool's stunt last year. That affected Holla Forums's activity by a lot.

Austin Allen
Austin Allen

This honestly. Before it was so bad that it was funny and you could make all manner of hilarious mockery from it, but now its so damn boring and pathetic that it's hard to stay invested in it in any way.

Blake Wilson
Blake Wilson

BIG
FAT
UGLY
DYKES

Jonathan Collins
Jonathan Collins

Refugee here, tell me about April Fool's day.

Joshua Bailey
Joshua Bailey

One autist being an autist isn't a raid, it's an autist being an autist.
/tv/ isn't nearly organized enough to have anything resembling a consensus on anything on their own board, much less raid other boards.
Not to mention the fact their vols' IRC circlejerk was broken up after /leftypol/'s BO was recorded blowing /tv/'s BO, causing /tv/'s BO to hide away out of sheer embarrassment.
You're a retarded faggot that can't deal with the fact that shitposters exist on every board, so you seek to blame another completely unrelated board because god forbid you have to acknowledge some of the people you post with happen to be fucking stupid assholes.
I hate people like you more than anyone else that posts on imageboards because you are hands down the most cancerous type of faggot, and that includes goons.
Keep pushing that blame elsewhere though, I'm sure it'll help the board recover its former glory. I mean, fuck making quality posts when you can cry about another board literally every time someone else makes an offhand shitpost.

Luis Hughes
Luis Hughes

Not him, but basically the entire site shut down for several days, and had to be brought back to life one board at a time. This killed a lot of (admittedly dead) boards because if a smaller board wanted to be brought back, you had to go to /sudo/ and request it. Natually, a lot of people left because most posters here have the attention span of a squirrel and couldn't stand the wait.
Thankfully the autists on my board are so dedicated that we didn't feel any aftermath, and we all went straight back to posting as usual.
Don't worry about having missed out though, I'd say there's a 50/50 chance it'll happen again this year.

Aaron Stewart
Aaron Stewart

Woah there nigger, unrustle your jimmies a bit.

A shame so many other boards died in the process. Only good thing to come from the hack was seeing /leftypol/ be put on the same level of restoration priority as the furry boards.

Connor Brown
Connor Brown

Only good thing to come from the hack was seeing /leftypol/ be put on the same level of restoration priority as the furry boards.
Haha, totally forgot about that.

Wyatt Adams
Wyatt Adams

On the level of furry boards and below /cuteboys/ lmao

Jackson Powell
Jackson Powell

I'm getting increasingly tangential here but was /egy/ ever about edgelords or was it always for arabs?

Josiah Stewart
Josiah Stewart

Always, apparently.

Bentley Stewart
Bentley Stewart

No, you blame others for killing the board when you're the exact kind of faggot that stifles anything and everything that isn't of a particular nebulous quality that you refuse to define.
Holla Forums is shit because of people like you.

Bentley Myers
Bentley Myers

Im pretty sure Holla Forums is shit because newfags like you can't comprehend the concept of 'ignore and report'. Personally you deserve as much fault as the hey poster, simply for being a reason why he posts. You fed the fucker so many (You)s that it spawned the two other copycat autists, not including the sperg that tried to spam the board to death a month or two ago.

Leo Harris
Leo Harris

Pretty pretty pretty unicorn detective, boys.

Kevin Foster
Kevin Foster

bigger than laser disk
drawn as smaller than a laser disk
Jeph has no idea what a laser disk looks like, does he? For those who don't know, it's about the size of a vinyl record and flat as a CD, and it was utterly shit compared to VHS as a format, although it paved the way for DVD

Christian Hernandez
Christian Hernandez

As someone who owns an obscene amount of laserdiscs, I'm not sure how to feel about this comic.
Also, are we just following these two at the cafe now? Did Jeph just suddenly decide to drop the other arc? Will he cut back to it as randomly as he cut away from it?
This comic is like a fever dream. A really tedious one.
Actually, they're a bit thicker than CDs, I can only imagine this was to offset their fragility.
Plus, I can say with absolute certainty that laserdisc does have better quality, as someone who has, and still does on occasion, watch both formats. It's not much better, granted, but I need to justify having a closet filled with the things.
Though it is annoying that I have to take the disc out and flip it halfway through every movie I watch.

Grayson Sanchez
Grayson Sanchez

When will this thing die? That iron lung this comic is living inside would be better utilized in a museum.

Parker Russell
Parker Russell

better quality
your trade off for quality is
needing to flip it
having a cumbersome media format
having such a fragile media format
the tier list is Laser disk at the bottom, then VHS, then DVD.

Cooper Lee
Cooper Lee

Dale is looking pretty feminine i wonder if trans-lesbian is jephs new game plan as a way to further prostrate himself.

Eli Walker
Eli Walker

They are a bit cumbersome and the flipping is annoying, but thay're not as fragile as people make them out to be. Handling them only needs about as much care as a record.
Plus they do have a leg up on VHS in terms of material longevity. Magnetic tape can suffer from all kinds of issues, including but not limited to rotting and fungus. Optical media (of any kind) can last much longer as long as the user isn't terminally retarded.
If I remember right, the main thing that killed laserdisc was cost, similar to betamax (which is the shittiest media in my book, if only because I've never seen a properly working player to date. What is is about that format where all the players shit the bed?)
DVD of course is better, though it's unfair to compare it to laserdisc or VHS because it came out later and had more advanced technology behind it.

Thinking about it, all old formats are kinda shit in their own way. But hey, at least we can all be glad CEDs never took off.

Connor Rodriguez
Connor Rodriguez

Huh, I was listening to Laserdisc Visions as I started reading this strip. What happened to Dale's head in panel 2? It looks like Emilu put a shrinking spell on him.

it was utterly shit compared to VHS as a format
No way. VHS had the advantage of recording and longer contiguous viewing but Laserdisc won on video and audio quality, especially multi-channel audio.

A Laserdisc player with a 3D comb filter is a runaway winner in terms of video quality, but those models are rare and never really dropped from their ludicrous MSRP even on the secondary market. Maybe you can get them cheap now but they're probably on their last legs. And you basically need an analog rear-projection TV or external video processor to view the video because upscalers in modern TVs can't really handle analog signals. This also applies to VHS.

the main thing that killed laserdisc was cost
"Economy of scale" is more accurate. The format was never popular enough to take advantage of mass manufacturing. Tapes were actually more expensive to produce (lots of moving parts of different materials vs. aluminum foil encased in plastic). The deciding factor was VHS already being a successful format for 5 or so years as a home recording device before movies were released directly for it. It's kind of how PC gaming came about: the earliest customers already had the PCs for other reasons.

Thomas Ross
Thomas Ross

The format was much more popular in Japan for some reason. All the 80s/90s anime collectors there wanted LDs.

Alexander Campbell
Alexander Campbell

Yeah, VHS was the dead format there. LD and Beta ruled.

Samuel Gray
Samuel Gray

So what's the deal, here?
The darkie whose glasses used to glow going to have an affair with Emily since he got sick and fed up of his fat, boring, spotty-faced, paedophile girlfriend?
Fucking hell, how many plots lay unresolved at the moment? 6? Maybe this is just Jeph stalling for time in the hopes his fans will eventually forget all about the lost memories (oh, the irony!), Brun, Clinton, the bakery, Hannelore's pink faggot robot, the ADHD kid becoming a robot artist plus all the others I already forgot.
Which raises an interesting question - Hannelore wanted to run away on her own for a while so what happens to the pink fagbot?

Angel Nguyen
Angel Nguyen

All this talking about laserdisc is making me want to break out my player and watch some movies.
The 3D comb filter sounds sexy. The one I have is a good price-to-performance middle of the road model. The only real gripe I have with it is the lack of s-video, and it doesn't do recording. I'd love to get a good recording model so I can make use of the blank laserdiscs I'm slowly amassing.

I guess that makes sense, VHS was already so commonplace that it became cheap as a result, similar to what's happened with DVDs, and now blu-ray. Makes me wonder what the next big thing will end up being.

Carter Smith
Carter Smith

S-Video and 3D comb filters on LD players are effectively synonymous because unfiltered S-Video looks like shit due to how the LD format was designed for composite. DVD's biggest quality advantage is that the format was designed for component cables, which separate color and luma.

That said, it might be the case that unfiltered S-Video might look better than composite due to how modern scalers work. Also, comb filtering can be done externally, though your standard TV won't have it.

Wyatt Stewart
Wyatt Stewart

And just like that we have another storyline starting, without any payoff for the previous one.
Watch and despair!

Matthew Clark
Matthew Clark

my favorite child is back :3

How old is Jeph by now?

Zachary Peterson
Zachary Peterson

C'mon Jeph, give the brown man a threesome.

Evan Thompson
Evan Thompson

He's setting this up to become yet another cringy "love triangle", isn't he? Speaking of which, what ever happened to Clinton, Brun and Elliot?

Landon Murphy
Landon Murphy

They died on the way back to their home planet.

Kayden Martinez
Kayden Martinez

Asperger's Syndrome just wasn't as funny as Jeph thought it would be.

Nicholas Jenkins
Nicholas Jenkins

At least not when it's the punchline to every joke.

Josiah Kelly
Josiah Kelly

Jeph probably realized he evolved the aspie into yet another snarky, nihilistic hipster like the rest of his characters and pulled the plug.

Luke Wood
Luke Wood

I think they're all too oblivious to be Nihilistic.
Really - they're so easily distracted by their immediate happenings that they don't really have time to dwell on anything at all.
Look at Menstro - everyone so (briefly) miserable at the thought of the lost memories, yet none of the computer geniuses among them thought to perform even a basic search of military conflicts over the past few years where robots were deployed, or even to ask Menstro even simple questions about where it may have been. All of the drama almost immediately forgotten in favour of drinking fucking coffee or whatever.

Jeph may actually have been able to pull a decent plot from that, too. One that would have generated some genuine emotional investment, with some real consequences.
Instead he churned out the safe version of the Bourne Identity for the easily triggered.

Caleb Clark
Caleb Clark

threesome intensifies

William White
William White

Well, one of the few degenerate relationshit things that Jeph hasn't touched on is Polyamory. It's entirely possible that he's going to dip his toes into it instead of furthering the clangbians.

Colton Walker
Colton Walker

Actually kinda smirked at this one. Because Marigold is actually written in character FOR ONCE as an insecure little nerdgirl.

I also wholeheartedly agree with the threesome sentiment.

Jason Perry
Jason Perry

That's not called polyamory, that's called cuckquean. It's obvious he's never touched the lard and he'll prefer the retarded tall asian instead, while she watches, and probably eats.

Evan Allen
Evan Allen

KILL YOURSELF VAL YOU FUCKING RETARDED MUDSLIME CUNT

Owen Watson
Owen Watson

Fuck off back to twitter handstab

Ethan Hall
Ethan Hall

Your wifu is an
O I L D R I L L E R

Jack Perez
Jack Perez

I meant to say coal burner. What the hell am I doing?

Jose Myers
Jose Myers

You're imagining that fat nerd cunt widening the niggers bootyhole with a giant horsecock strap-on
He walks into the coffee shop the next day with a limp and then he and marten both gush about how good their girlfriends dicks feel

James Cox
James Cox

Why are Dale's glasses turned on or off again at random in strips?

Jack Rodriguez
Jack Rodriguez

I was thinking about that, myself.
All the last times we've seen them on have been when he's with his fat girlfriend.
From this, I'm guessing that he superimposes someone else over her bloated, sow-like body to delude himself into thinking he hasn't made some very poor life choices.

Aside from that, once again we're seeing the humans being more robotic than the robots:
Sharing treats. That's something couples do. Engage Couples mode.

Zachary Parker
Zachary Parker

Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses?

Zachary Baker
Zachary Baker

Why would you undersell this so hard?

There's some drama potential in the 'Marigold fears losing Dale' concept. Because she's a timid nerd with low self-esteem who only landed a bf thanks to robots playing Cupid. She's not actually grown much (lol Jeph in charge of character development) and she's easily self-destructive enough to let worries about losing him turn into jealousy and clinginess. That's an interesting source of internal conflict - can she become self-aware and self-confident enough to keep what she's gained or will she fail and lose him for real?

Emily touching him on the shoulder is fucking nothing, it's weak. She's socially oblivious, no more attractive than Marigold (inb4 waifu wars) and Dale has little in common with her, so she's not a threat in the least. In the very same strip she demonstrates why Marigold shouldn't worry about her at all. So where's the tension?

For the plotline to work we need to see Marigold's insecurity rising over time. and for valid reasons. She needs to keep seeing hotter, smarter, more successful girls hitting on Dale. He himself may be changing, maybe after working his ass off at multiple jobs he's getting noticed for bigger things, he's more of a success in general than he was and suddenly he's a real catch. Meanwhile Marigold's standing still. She's still dumpy and quiet and boring, and she feels more and more out of place next to Dale. Self-doubt creeps in. She's not good enough for him. Their relationship isn't strong enough. Sooner or later he'll notice, and he'll be out the door.

I mean, it's not Shakespeare, but it's drama that arises from who the characters are and the journey they've taken so far, not from some Poochie character dropping in out of nowhere, It's also not endless will-they-won't-they ship baiting.

Jaxson Allen
Jaxson Allen

The last time I paid attention to their relationship was when there was a fierce intensity between them because they played opposite factions in World of Warcraft. Jeph should bring that back.

Asher Foster
Asher Foster

I'm starting to think you guys are unironically enjoying this comic and the edits are just a smokescreen to hide the fact.

Colton Lewis
Colton Lewis

Canonically he's using Google Glass despite it being a long dead meme.

Jaxson Powell
Jaxson Powell

we like to make fun of it. It's like MST3K for a new media. Somewhat.

Also, since this is the thread for it apparently, where do I sell old laserdisks I have?

Ian Barnes
Ian Barnes

Leaks from Patreon

I, for one, welcome the /cuckquean/index.html crossposting

Angel Cox
Angel Cox

I'm just saying, polyamory is one of the few tumblr subjects JJ hasn't touched yet.

Christian Smith
Christian Smith

It's been 15 years and he *still* hasn't learned to plan out his frames so the jokes on the blackboard are readable.

Noah Anderson
Noah Anderson

No, Tai was originally in some weird Lesbian Poly relationship when she was first introduced.

Camden Hill
Camden Hill

At least have the decency to lurk before you post, newfag

David Bell
David Bell

Reminder that handstab is a mid 30s hipster soyboy who rapes his own dog

Kevin Evans
Kevin Evans

Thanks Captain Obvious.

Nicholas Perry
Nicholas Perry

I think Marigold is supposed to be the least attractive female character facially, though she thinks she looks worse than she is. I always thought Emily was supposed to be the most attractive one in the group.

where do I sell old laserdisks I have?
With Craigslist (or Gumtree if you're not a Yank) you don't need to deal with packing and shipping but then you need to deal with the weirdos. eBay is so expensive now that it's hard to see you making a profit. Don't know what the fees are these days on Amazon Marketplace but probably cheaper than eBay. I checked out Etsy and, surprisingly, they do list Laserdiscs. I guess they qualify as "vintage" at this point. Fees are probably cheap here.

Gavin Russell
Gavin Russell

What is going on with Dale in panel 3? It's like his rather feminine hip merged with his ass. I'll still give Jeph a little credit for exaggerating his bulge, assuming it's intentional and he didn't make a Bob Ross happy mistake.

Also, it's amusing to see such juvenile dialogue from a guy who runs with the "Grow up you Peter Pan manbabies" crowd on Twitter. I get that it's supposed to be exaggerated and not totally logical but it still comes off as placeholder dialog that was supposed to be replaced by something resembling a joke, meaning this type of stuff is the first thing that probably comes to Jeph's mind when writing these.

Elijah Richardson
Elijah Richardson

What's the matter, Marigold? She's clearly more attractive than you, but that's a good thing.
Accept that Dale's going to be all over that vixen, it's only natural. The only question is will you be in the room too or not?
Coach him, supervise him. Make sure Emily understands how best to please him, too. He deserves the best.

And when he's done and his body's burning hot from pounding her into a totally satisfied mess, but you're the one he wants to warm up with a cuddle afterward, isn't that the real victory?

Isaac Morgan
Isaac Morgan

showing off with those quads
user improving Jeph's comic once again

Dominic Mitchell
Dominic Mitchell

cuckquean has it's own board

Connor Cruz
Connor Cruz

This isn't the first time our thread has served to cross pollinate the various fetish niche interest boards. I think it keeps things interesting.

Bentley Sanders
Bentley Sanders

Yup, this new plot is more of Jeph's scattergun approach to writing.
As has been mentioned, there was no buildup to any of this, so any emotional investment will be at a minimum (but of course the fans will, again, lap this shit right up).
Aside from the lack of buildup and tension beyond the past 30 seconds of in-universe time, why would the fat one feel any threat at all from Emily, the known hyperactive retard?
Emily is a walking punchline looking for a joke to latch on to.
Has Emily ever put the moves on anyone? From her recent examples of behaviour, I'd doubt it. The fat one could likely strip her off and fuck her from behind with a 32" black, barbed strap-on, all the while telling her it's a new game and Emily would happily play along, pulling that fucking face she always has, saying how much of a fun time she's having.

Charles Davis
Charles Davis

Emily was slated to be Marten's next love interest before The Trappening threw everything off the rails. As a result of that stabtacular saga, Marigold never got to have her long awaited character growth, so she's still super insecure about her body and still thinks that Dale is with her for the easy and plentiful sex (he might be, nobody knows with Jeph) and she thinks he'll jump ship as soon as a better hole opens up to him.

David Young
David Young

the dialogue is written extremely poorly in the sex scenario
lots of jokes are dropped like jeph as a baby
I understand that zittits wouldn't know what realistic dialogue would be but when it comes from the mind of a person who probably spent more time with hentai VNs than real people she would probably have better sexual inuendos than just saying, "I'm going to have sex with you."
Are you ready to work hard, or are you ready for this hard on to work you?
I'm ready to grind that caramel-machiatto dick, you dark-brew hunk
Well this dark-brew is going to need some milk and honey from that sweet ass
I just wrote 3 lines of sex dialogue on a whim with no effort, and now I feel disgusting. I'm sorry God.
Also she fucking loses her lipstick in the second panel, smirking doesn't give a free roll to remove lips.

Juan Gonzalez
Juan Gonzalez

Not smirking so hard your lips aren't real anymore
Git gud skrub

Aiden Johnson
Aiden Johnson

Editfag prime predicted this shit three years ago
dogfucker is just getting around to it NOW

David Price
David Price

The way her spine works in the third panel reminds me of this pic.

Jack Brooks
Jack Brooks

First pose looks flat and boring as shit. No wonder his art sucks if he disregards basic rules of drawing for political reasons.

Jacob Garcia
Jacob Garcia

NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF THIS
We've been saying that for years, Jeph

Asher Hill
Asher Hill

I've always suspected Jeph and Willis visit Holla Forums and secretly love being shittalked anonymously, but seeing how Jeph actually lurks /cuckquean/ sure is weird

Landon Kelly
Landon Kelly

Are the dots on her face acne or moles? Gross

Jeremiah Scott
Jeremiah Scott

He's half right half wrojng. There is nothing inherently wrong with that provided it isn't gratuitous and fits with the character/situation.

If you're trying to show that someone's depressed and is very sad, you wouldn't have her posing sexily. but this just comes down to good writing tbh as opposed to trying to appease to or not appease to the male gaze

Camden Flores
Camden Flores

Probably acne that turned into pockmarks.

Oliver Rogers
Oliver Rogers

got in trouble with the government for being too smart
JEsus fuck

Liam Nelson
Liam Nelson

She so smart, she got thrown in jail!

NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF THIS
Well there's been nothing good so far, so that is a safe assumption. I find it truly incredible that to pad things out Jeph introduces yet more fucking relationshit. The story has become a perpetual motion machine - starts and never stops. Either he has gone completely mad, has forgotten everything he's written more than 3 days ago, or he's plotting some mad, Midsummer Night's Dream shit where all these buffing relationships and associated dramas converge and explode together.

Liam Kelly
Liam Kelly

some mad, Midsummer Night's Dream shit where all these buffing relationships and associated dramas converge and explode together.
If he managed to converge all of this nonsense into some kind of multi-arced Fatal Attraction plot as the end result of over a decade of meandering relationship plotlines, that would be the fastest 180 I've ever done on my opinion on someone. Hell, if he managed to form some kind of multi-arced Swimfan plot, it would be amazing.

Daniel Davis
Daniel Davis

Oh, if he did do it it definitely would not be deliberately planned; more like desperately rushed. He'd be like a frantic welder trying to fix the Titanic as it hits the icebrerg.

Ryder Walker
Ryder Walker

If this is a literal cuckquean setup then it has the potential to be QC's best plot line in years, maybe ever, not just for the intrinsic value but to see Jeph's fanbase exude cognitive dissonance while they try to reconcile an obviously degenerate lifestyle with their "progressive" morals.

Of course it will be the complete opposite of this and it will fail in the worst possible way.

Carter Carter
Carter Carter

Men can't have female friends
Women get irrationally upset when their partners have female friends
playing to a negative stereotype about women
haha look at how upset she is over her insecurities
petty jealous trope which will end up in some forced poly tripe
I was the guy with tons of female friends. any relationship i had was subject to intense shit talking and jealousy. women are fucking vicious and brutal like cruel machines made of meat but they could drink better then most guys i knew and always had that nice scented shit in their horribly dirty bathrooms. my point is is this shit is going to be terrible because Jeph is not only an awful writer but because its just gonna pander and drag ass for the next 6 weeks mark my words.

Sebastian Foster
Sebastian Foster

Of course its going to pander and drag ass, that's all he's capable of doing. Also, am I going crazy or has he dropped to releasing a "comic," four times a week instead of five?

Eli Roberts
Eli Roberts

Someone's posting the Patreon early releases again so now it seems slower due to the week ending on Thursday.

Gavin Evans
Gavin Evans

put two years, and counting, into redrafting your comic's story into something worth a damn
put same amount of time into getting good at art
Jeph's comic is more known of, talked about, and lucrative, than your's

I really shouldn't be upset about this, but I really am the more I think about it.

Gabriel Walker
Gabriel Walker

#craftistheenemy
See, the popular guy isn't the one who spent any time training, he's just the one who keeps his deadlines.

Colton Johnson
Colton Johnson

Marigold does the right thing by breaking up with the darkie

Lucas Torres
Lucas Torres

Fer fuck's sake, Jeph…
Spends months trying to build up the tension of a lesbot relationship with no conclusion in sight
Takes a break from this to have relationshit drama explode between two irrelevant characters, within 3 strips.

I think even Jeph has no idea where this comic is going any more.

Elijah Bailey
Elijah Bailey

This comic hasn't had a plot that wasn't "people dating" for like twelve years.

Jonathan Perry
Jonathan Perry

He almost went somewhere interesting with robot wars and the lost memories, but he successfully sidestepped anything interesting and hastily wrapped them up and never mentioned them again, just in case.

Robert Young
Robert Young

She's smarter and funnier and prettier than me
She has a point.

Dale noooooo
Yeah, Jeph, you spineless simpleton, this is all Dale's fault, somehow. Marigold should thank him for not calling out what a cunt she is being.

Takes a break from this to have relationshit drama explode between two irrelevant characters, within 3 strips.
This is the kind of thing that actually works when dragged out. Dale oblivious and Marigold stuck in a feedback loop of simmering rage. So of course Jeph fucks it up.

This comic hasn't had a plot that wasn't "people dating" for like twelve years.
Don't forget the, like, 4 strips where Marten resolved not to spend the rest of his life working as a library intern by attempting to reform his loser band, whose members he completely lost contact with, except Hannelore, who lives 6 vertical feet away from him. Because that's the kind of thing that happens to people with direction.

Aaron Wright
Aaron Wright

I do keep my deadlines. And I actually sacrifice a lot more picture quality than my peers, just to do so.
You can do both, you know. Writing and drawing.

Nathaniel Reyes
Nathaniel Reyes

An insecure nerd girl suddenly develops a personality. It's "unlikable cunt".

More news at 11.

Josiah Turner
Josiah Turner

Excuse you, but it's "Unlikeable cunt and suspiciously interested in little girls." She really isn't a catch, her personality is garbage and she doesn't look like she even bathes.

Adam Myers
Adam Myers

In which Assfuck starts his journey of why women act like random anger generators only to make up with his PAWG gf when he should have just fucked the robot.

Oliver Gutierrez
Oliver Gutierrez

What Marigold doesn't realise is that there's no need for her to worry – Dora isn't a fat slob, and thus doesn't need to date niggers.

Remember: Marigold is a fat, unattractive, unproductive slob. However, this is not a problem. The real problem is anyone having standards or eyes.

Camden Sullivan
Camden Sullivan

Also minimally employed, doing data entry tasks on her father's website, basically a NEET. Maybe sells WoW gold but that's an industry 10 years past its prime.

I love how it's always the man's fault. Every single time. No matter how big of a cunt she's being.

Hunter Hughes
Hunter Hughes

So, how long have Dale and Emily worked together? Presumably Marigold knew this? And it's only become a problem now? And definitely Dale's fault and not Marigold's for being a paranoid nutcase?
I mean shit, Marigold couldn't get any action if she fell cunt-first into a barrel of dicks - you'd think she wouldn't be so quick to drop her boyfriend based off some delusion she conjured in the past 10 minutes.

Andrew Perez
Andrew Perez

This whole thing suddenly reminded me of this old video from back during the Marten/Dora breakup, so I went back to check up on what went on to cause this particular breakup in 2010.

Dora and Marten are a couple
Dora moves in with Marten
Faye has a panic attack over her relationship with Angus, talks to Marten when neither is wearing pants
Dora reacts angrily
Marten is distraught
Faye confronts Dora
Dora calms down and apologizes
time passes
Dora checks Marten's laptop for weird porn
Marten reacts angrily
Dora immediately breaks up with him
Dora eventually goes off and sleeps with a lady
Marten eventually goes off and sleeps with a "lady"

It's like poetry, it's, sort of, they rhyme.

Bentley Campbell
Bentley Campbell

In Marigold's limited defense, she was okay with it until she witnessed Emily making a type of physical contact that suggested intimacy or at least familiarity. Some insecure women really freak out over this, even if it's a family member doing it.

I can't BELIEVE she touched your shoulder!
<What are you on about? She's my fucking sister!
Well, she shouldn't be touching you like that!

There really is no excuse for a woman not to know that some women are just really touchy and familiar to basically everybody. In these cases, the boyfriend is totally in the clear. If you need to say anything, talk to the girl, though it's generally not worth it because you risk starting a spite-based rivalry.

Marigold couldn't get any action if she fell cunt-first into a barrel of dicks
There seems to be this inverse relationship between ability to get a mate and tendency to hit the exit button on a relationship, i.e. the least attractive and most annoying women demand the "purest" relationships. The 8 or 9 out of 10 will still leave you if you cheat, but she'll otherwise be secure enough to not flip out when she sees the 6/10 flirting with you. She might tease you, though probably in a friendly way that validates your relative attractiveness.

Josiah Long
Josiah Long

It's funny to denote Marigold's first time was with a thirsty, awkward scientist stuck in space where the population was probably along the lines of 19:1 male. That's basically her "domain": autistic virgins pushing 30.

Joseph Bailey
Joseph Bailey

Unsurprisingly, Reddit and the forum are nearly 100% on board with "Everything is Dale's fault." None of these relationship experts realize that instantly capitulating to a woman's insecurities is just a short term fix that erodes the woman's attraction toward the man in the long run. She knows she's being irrational and doesn't want the man to follow her, even though though she claims she does. It's an age old shit test.

Matthew Morris
Matthew Morris

tell her she's right
this comes from an age of men who weren't taught right by their fathers to be direct and it leads to an overall shit relationship with anyone.

Hunter Smith
Hunter Smith

there is a bit a of truth to the "tell her she is right" thing. Dale's problem is he did nothing to soothe Marigold's jealously, he just inflamed it with some kind of weak honesty. But given that the comic needs drama every now and then, and Dale is as clueless in relationships as Marigold, you shouldn't be surprised at what happened.

Also most of the QC forums are filled with betas and SJWs so the response in the forums is typical.

Parker Hughes
Parker Hughes

Yeah, it's not about telling her she's right, it's about *not* telling her she's wrong, and distracting her with truths.

Do you like her?
<I like you, and want to be with you.
Do you think she's pretty?
<There are few things better than staring into your gorgeous eyes.

Gabriel Miller
Gabriel Miller

Yeah, it works, but only sparingly and temporarily. If it becomes your conditioned response then you'll become a doormat in a manner of months. Best to save the "yes, dear" responses for when you're really worn down and need a lay up. Eventually she'll resort to cucking you as a means to upping the shit test ante. Not coincidentally, this is why normalization of cuckolding, polyamory, and the like are the big thing right now in lefty media. These women are screaming for their men to take control.

It's far better to state your position directly and without regard to her emotional state. State what your opinion would be to a neutral party. The time for intimacy is when she expresses reciprocation, not standoffishness.

Ryder Butler
Ryder Butler

Quite true, but for what what its worth and not to get us off the topic of the comic too much. The media isn't pushing polyamory so much. As a person who was involved with a polyamory group for a while, Polyamory is very laid back, practically lazy. It's geared more towards straight men and bisexual women moreso then anything else.

Nicholas Cook
Nicholas Cook

I've seen a number of articles from places like Salon and HuffPo along the lines of "Why women need the male harem" justifying using one guy for rough sex, another as a sugar daddy, another as a dance club partner, etc. Maybe the actual word "polyamory" isn't used but it's getting at the same sort of thing, only with status and resources rather than just sex.

Henry Davis
Henry Davis

Salon and HuffPo are so out there you can barely consider them as reputable media. But those are basically opinion pieces, not actual news stories.

Andrew Wilson
Andrew Wilson

Whether or not I find them reputable is irrelevant to their large reach. CNN is also not reputable but it has also produced such articles. I mean, truly reputable outlets get at most 1% of the traffic the tabloid ones do so it's not a very good metric.

Evan Bell
Evan Bell

Huh, a character acknowledges a female's cuntiness. I'm not sure how to digest this.

Connor Nguyen
Connor Nguyen

I'm partial to a bit of swearing, myself but when it's done this much it just comes across as childish.
May be the blue thing's character to speak like that, but from Jeph's previous examples of edgy writing and naughty words ("I want to make a sex at you") I do get the feeling he adds so much swearing so he can titter to himself at how rebellious he's being and that his parents would disapprove.
Seems typical of hipster works as well - lots and lots of swearing (particularly "fuck") 'cause those are big boy words.

Evan Allen
Evan Allen

conditioned that way
Horse shit, we've evidence of human female grooming behavior from preliterate times. It's part of their innate psychology.

Alexander Ross
Alexander Ross

user, Jeph is a failed musician who cries every day at himself having to pretend to be an artist to survive. He sure as shit has never heard of science. His "science-fiction" work with robots and shit like that makes that very clear too.
He has tumblr science. That's pretty much it. And even there, he's not that terrific.

Levi Rivera
Levi Rivera

Marten's band
Who else was in it besides Hanners?

Carson Hughes
Carson Hughes

Huh, a character acknowledges a female's cuntiness.
She say it's "conditioned". It's the patriarchy's fault.

Luke Young
Luke Young

conditioned
I do wonder what Jeph thinks the world would actually be like if no-one tried to make themselves attractive, and no-one talked to each other or even approached each other without invitation.
He writes as if he actually thinks that visual attraction was invented in America some time in the 1950s.

Cooper Garcia
Cooper Garcia

conditioned
that shit can get to you
give you a complex
Says the robot woman who
Never grew up as a young girl
was programmed to act a very certain way to fall into a very specific niche
I had more to say here but I forgot it because I'm too invested in monster hunter to care.

Jonathan Rodriguez
Jonathan Rodriguez

Frumpy nerd could try and improve herself…. ohohoh who are we kidding, that is fatphobic.

Isaiah Bennett
Isaiah Bennett

We already know all about this stuff because we've spent decades observing the same human mating behaviors in chimpanzees, but these people are clueless about it, despite their "science is my jam" T-shirts and Twitter slogans. Our mating behaviors are innate and they clearly predate our species.

Some middle aged stoner towelhead named Amir and his tatted ex-girlfriend.

Self-improvement is for men only, but that doesn't mean men are better than women. Just that fat women who sit around all day playing WoW, watching anime, and eating Pocky are equals to men who actually try, because that's an argument that makes sense.

Matthew Campbell
Matthew Campbell

the dude had several girlfriends before the fatso
somehow he needs basic love advice about guuuurls from a sociopathic misanthropic robot
Jeph when are you quitting at life

Bentley Wright
Bentley Wright

Am I the only one who finds this kinda funny? It's like "she's a woman and woman are mad, you're a man and man are clueless, and women are mad because man are clueless"

That's Pulitzer-level writing for this godawful comic

Colton Mitchell
Colton Mitchell

That's a different black guy, which seems incredible that Jeph could have more than just a token

Brandon Gutierrez
Brandon Gutierrez

He's a Paki so Jeph gets to check another diversity checkbox.

Blake Jenkins
Blake Jenkins

… what ? He looks exactly the same. I mean, aside from the haircut and the chin buzz, oh and his hairy arms, just noticed. Who the fuck even is that guy ? I think I remember him. What happened ? There are fucking dozens of characters that have outright vanished for genuinely no reason whatsoever. It's insane.

Caleb Smith
Caleb Smith

Thank g*d Jeph shelved Marten's band so he could orbit Faye and Clarence 24/7

Grayson Anderson
Grayson Anderson

It's funny if you think about it: there really is no reason for Marten to have his minimum wage job. Both his parents are independently wealthy or at least very upper middle class and are very likely willing to bankroll Marten out of his doldrums. As it is Marten has no future because without the Library Science degree he's forever stuck in that entry level position and we all know he's not going back to school for that degree. It's too bad Marten's dad is a faggot and couldn't teach him how to fix a car or build shelves or something. You're kind of fucked when both your parents are impulsive promiscuous sexual deviants.

Andrew Butler
Andrew Butler

Holy fuck, did Amir's face-fuzz fall off after the first panel? You can tell how much Jeph cares about his work.

Daniel Davis
Daniel Davis

I just fucking realized but you're right. He literally forgot to draw the beard after the first panel. I can understand a single panel, as ridiculous as it is, but how fucking lazy do you have to be to forget for all of them ?! Jesus christ…

Jack Sullivan
Jack Sullivan

Huh, you're right. I thought it was a feature of the poster behind him but you're clearly correct.

Nathan Miller
Nathan Miller

While we're at it, where did her glasses go? Did she throw them onto the ground and then smash them with the guitar?

Brandon Gutierrez
Brandon Gutierrez

I haven't posted here (until now) in months, but I haven't not been reading. But with AG done and the doldrums QC is in, I don't feel like posting or creating OC. It's just like it's so bad now there's nothing to make fun of, Jeph is making a mockery of his own "work" without any outside interference needed.

Jayden Torres
Jayden Torres

defensive "y-y-y-yes dear" crouch
That's so cringe worthy I think it managed to reach across the boundary between worlds and cause the vagina of a female doppelganger version of me in a mirror universe to dry up.

Gabriel Jenkins
Gabriel Jenkins

Jeph is a master of 1-2 strips of tension followed up by weeks of weeks of retrospection.

Ayden Fisher
Ayden Fisher

Is that girl prettier than me?
<By standard definitions I guess, bu-
*UNINTELLIGIBE SCREAMING*

Is that girl prettier than me?
<She is so much prettier than you it's like comparing literal fantasy to a real person.
Wow, you're right fellow girl.

Jackson Kelly
Jackson Kelly

Isn't it hilarious how they're both dumbasses ? Relate ! I SAID FUCKING RELATE

Carter Long
Carter Long

I have nothing to live for. I should just learn to draw and start cucking Jeph out of his characters. At least then I can go out with a laugh as he hopefully stabs himself again. And again. And cries about it on twitter.

James Sanders
James Sanders

Exclamatory Absence, a webcomic about meaningful romance, gainful employment, and good musical taste starring Martyn, Fran, and Dorothy.

Matthew Parker
Matthew Parker

No user, you do that and the editfag mantle will pass to you and you'll have to deal with the dreams about this terrible comic.

Elijah Nguyen
Elijah Nguyen

But really anyone would rather have a mecha than have to deal with these characters.

Carson Price
Carson Price

I wonder if it ever occurs to these overly dramatic women that pointing out to her man that a more attractive woman appears to have romantic interest in him and then souring the milk by pseudo-breaking up with him isn't the best strategy. I reallize it's a shit test that Dale is supposed to pass by expressing undying loyalty (or telling her to shut the fuck up with this bullshit), but someone like Marigold should not be giving ultimatums.

Jeremiah Russell
Jeremiah Russell

Eh, you know what? I might as well. Got nothing else to do. Already installed Krita, and I'm now going through some basics about the program. We drive a lot around on my job, and since I don't have a license yet I have to ride shotgun, I can just draw during those moments. One small step at a time. First is circles and blocks, yes?

Ryder Murphy
Ryder Murphy

godspeed, user. Be the hero.

Bentley Evans
Bentley Evans

Yeah. See you in three to five years, I guess? I'll try to draw every day.

Michael Jenkins
Michael Jenkins

trips
three fives
"three to five years"
holy shit user god blessed you right there

Cameron Torres
Cameron Torres

The pink sexbot is the only thing that's made even a modicum of sense in this entire forced storyline. Also, the fujo pedo buys tissues specifically branded for blocks of hysteria.

Leo Reyes
Leo Reyes

First is circles and blocks, yes?
No, first you start with the eyes.

Wyatt Perez
Wyatt Perez

tell her you're sorry
how about no

the correct answer is to do something else for three days and then take the call when she eventually phones

Wyatt Scott
Wyatt Scott

Dammit, I was hoping for it to be a full porn set with her getting done by a knight in armor, not some random bitch

Andrew Collins
Andrew Collins

Rosechu's got alot of ribs showing there, is Chris starving his creations?

Ayden Hernandez
Ayden Hernandez

Feed her meaningless platitudes instead of answering her, women are stupid enough not to know the difference
Finally Jeph remembers how he dealt with his girlfriend 20 years ago. Now maybe we can move on from this meandering relationship non-problem. To the next meandering relationship non-problem.

Luis Murphy
Luis Murphy

Why does the blue sexbot know anything about stable relationships?
Hell, this story would have been more interesting if Marigold thought Dale was falling for the blue thing. He's clearly really into technology and the blue thing has tits that will never sag, will never have a headache and his glasses could likely superimpose whatever girl he likes over it while he's fucking it.

Michael Rogers
Michael Rogers

No you fucking cis shitlord scum you can't have a man fall in love with a robot. That would give the boyim an escape from the matriarchy.

Cameron Campbell
Cameron Campbell

Because that might actually touch upon some unseen prejudice on robots that supposedly exists in universe, but is only ever mentioned as a sympathetic asspat when handstab can't think of a reason for synthetics to feel sad. Faye and Menstro won't hint at this because the only people that care about fat middle aged hipster dykes are Monster High and Hot Topic marketers

Xavier Sullivan
Xavier Sullivan

Jeph is right about this. Women love submissive men who are pushovers.

Jayden Foster
Jayden Foster

Doesn anyone know what font Jeph uses? I just had a brilliant idea for an edit.

Ethan Campbell
Ethan Campbell

I think it's Blambot Casual.

John Wright
John Wright

Guess who else is getting cuckqueaned?

Noah Morris
Noah Morris

IT'S A ROBOT

Jacob Gomez
Jacob Gomez

By the way, is it the robot's house ?
… what's the point for a robot to have a house ? She doesn't feel heat or cold, isn't hungry or thirsty, all she needs is a power supply and maybe some oil from time to time. Even if for some godforsaken reason she was given the ability to have fun/enjoy entertainment, she'd STILL basically just need one small room with a computer in- aaand I just realised she doesn't need a computer with an internet connection, she fucking is one
Am I missing something ?

Kevin Reyes
Kevin Reyes

It's his apartment, she freeloads off him.

Mason Miller
Mason Miller

Oh OK. Not sure whether that makes it more or less acceptable.

Mason Reyes
Mason Reyes

Actually she isn't one, Jeph's AI need to use computers manually. Also, again, she wasn't "given the ability to have fun" because in universe nobody intentionally builds or designs any aspect of AI, they're made by a process nobody understands which results in AI that think exactly like humans.

Aiden Clark
Aiden Clark

Dickroomba may be the poorest insult of all time.

Matthew Barnes
Matthew Barnes

SO THEY DO HAVE FUCKING INTERNET

Kevin Ramirez
Kevin Ramirez

Long as he says what I told him to
Ok, so he doesn't really mean it. That'll be the next few strips when Marigold finds out and is outraged.

Hunter Gonzalez
Hunter Gonzalez

This current plot with them two idiots is as generic as can be, but still I hope it is still resolved in the generic manner.

The classic story, been told in Saturday morning shows since time immemorial is guy fucks up with girl; looks to some quick fix formula to salvage the situation (be it some advice book or, in this case, Google); that then fails; guy gets frustrated and his real feelings come out; guy then wins back girl by being genuine.

Knowing Jeph, I can't help but think that in this case the shallow, manipulative formula offered by Google will actually work.

Carter Morgan
Carter Morgan

I've read enough romance manga to see this "she's the girlfriend, but there's another potential girl and two advice friends" scenario play out several times. We'll wind up with a 4-girl harem as they orbit him due to the fact that each girl sees 3 other girls vying for him and he seems more worthwhile than he really is. Unfortunately, Momo is best girl in this scenario, but doomed from the start due to "First Girl Wins" syndrome.

This networking glimpse seems 1500 pages overdue.

Wyatt Nguyen
Wyatt Nguyen

I don't really understand what I did
I just want the problem to go away
I'll do what it takes
<Phony! You don't mean it
Hm, Emily is pretty cute and doesn't seem capable of this bullshit

Luis Green
Luis Green

Jeff's art is wonky, which is a sign that Tumblr is getting to him.

Charles Adams
Charles Adams

I've always been under the impression that mollifying a woman's jealousy required you to tell her that she is somehow more desirable than the target of her ire. Wouldn't a normal woman see statements like "I'm happy with what I have" to be awful because it implies that he's settling and might grow dissatisfied in the future?

Christopher Turner
Christopher Turner

WEEKS OF DRAMA
SOLVED WITH ONE STRIP OF TALKING TO EACH OTHER, MOSTLY OFFSCREEN
HALF THE STRIP IS DEVOTED TO A BOOB JOKE
I don't know why I expected anything else, but I didn't expect my getting this mad at it.

Andrew Sanders
Andrew Sanders

I think a normal person would see "I'm happy with what I have" as idle complacency. Especially considering the pedo just stomped off in a jealous rage, and that's what this speedbump in a road full of sinkholes is about.

Benjamin Gomez
Benjamin Gomez

You know what this Arc is? It's not even an Arc, it's just Stabby's knee-jerk reaction while writing. Obviously he wants to see Bubbles/Faye fuck, but no major pairing can be established without spending time on another Arc first. It's so ingrained in his system that he created this short and pointless arc so he could get right back to… I believe the Tumblr crowd calls it Faybbles, and if they don't, well fuck them because that's the best name for this pairing.
Anyway, we're going right back to Faye and Bubbles, OR Clinton and Gayboy BarBouncer, OR Something new with Martin and the goblin.

Dominic Long
Dominic Long

Well, looks like I was right - Google's shallow formula for manipulating women has won the day; genuine thoughts and feelings be fucked.
I'm more like a couple melons, though
couple melons
Fucking hell, it wasn't even said playfully with her looking him in the eye - just an autistic realization. What's next?
I think my foo-foo is getting wet. This doesn't feel right, you'd best leave.

Eli Ramirez
Eli Ramirez

I don't see how a normal person, at least someone not a teenager, is going to be offended by the realization that their relationship is merely compatible and not ideal. "Soulmate" stuff is the domain of 16 year old girls, and guys who buy into it tend to be pushover betas that women say they want but don't in practice. Yeah, there should be some base reason for the relationship but "I like you 100%" is a childish expectation.

But we're talking about someone like Marigold whose options are clearly limited. She knows her sexual marketplace value is relatively low and that Dale is probably a tier above her despite his underemployment. She should be malleable and clingy, not standoffish and making the rest of the comic universe walk on eggshells. I think it's unrealistic that Dale is getting all the blame when Marigold's friends should be telling her that she's overreacting and realistically isn't going to land a better catch than Dale if things go south.

Jack Martin
Jack Martin

Even Reddit sees through the bullshit.

Levi Sanchez
Levi Sanchez

this cycle of writing
if these swine were any more cultured they would see it is the common b-romance/romcom plot that leads the second act to the third.
Characters have some kind of goal, personal, relationship, etc.
characters group up together and there is a romance between two of them which is awkward but the "we'll figure it out as we go" card is played so I guess it's fine that these characters who know nothing about each other are falling in love
there is some fight between the two due to some small, minor misunderstanding that could take seconds of sitting down and talking to each other to solve
And then we get into the problem with romcoms and spur-of-the-moment relationship plots; trust. None of the characters trust each other enough to listen to what they're saying. Jeph has stated to everyone by this bout of rage that this relationship is not well nurtured enough obviously because they are acting like a pair would on the first few dates and not at the going steady phase of watching shows together lazily on the couch. If they were real people they would have scars from this in their brain that constantly tear a little bit at them to lead them down a path that they are incompatible and untrustworthy, causing more feuds until they finally separate. Fights late into a relationship may be common, but a fight over something like that would create a complex in the woman that demands constant attention and reaffirmation of desire between them. The only logical path for this to go down would be zittits sleeping around to make herself feel pretty and wanted and so she could get a reaction to the tune of, "Don't go sleeping around, you're mine," although any man would know a woman like that is untrustworthy and would create problems later in life, and it's best to leave things as they are then and there. Jeph may write something similar to this, but will probably just make darky the beta and say, "yes of course dear you're the only one for me so you have to let me be the only one for you please."
Why the fuck am I psychoanalyzing the musings of a fucking cuckold; this shit will continue to be shit no mater what.

Dylan Moore
Dylan Moore

So it was all just a storm-in-a-teacup nothingburger. Can't we have some conflict in this shitheap that can't be resolved with two minutes of open communication? It happened off-panel for crying out loud! We don't even get to SEE the denouement of this bit of drama, that's how fucking trivial it was!

Even Reddit has noticed that there's no substance to any of this any more. And Jeph just does not give a fuck, this is nothing but a 13-strip screensaver running in between his wank arcs about muh lesbians.

Hey, anyone remember when Dora and Marten's relationship self-destructed because she was irrationally insecure and feared losing him, and he was too passive and pleased to be in a relationship to properly deal with her issues? Or when Faye had to confront her raging alcoholism before it killed her, which was also part of the long road to finally coming to terms with her father's senseless death? Actual… fucking… arcs??

Matthew Thomas
Matthew Thomas

New robot tension.

Juan Bell
Juan Bell

Since sex is going to be on both of their minds, I guess we're in for some proper clang.

Jaxon Peterson
Jaxon Peterson

Fagging about like that with a tanto knife.
Oh, fuck off, Jeph!
Why the hell is it wearing socks, or indeed any clothes at all, anyway?

Samuel Thomas
Samuel Thomas

They ate of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden.

Grayson Bennett
Grayson Bennett

What machine could love god as I do, and better yet, what creation of man could love that which has not created them; nay, what creature could fear what is the hand of the hand that made them in a world where men lack the compassion or emotion for their creator, to disparage his name and promote a thing so vile as an unnatural life; I agree with user as he has spoken and also argue that there is no reason in their Godless world to be clothed, as they are all like dogs without God.

Jason Phillips
Jason Phillips

What is the joke? Is it just "Pintsize lol?"

Jacob Kelly
Jacob Kelly

Looks like Jeph may finally have gone completely mad and doesn't know what his own comic is supposed to be any more.

Ayden Stewart
Ayden Stewart

If I didn't know Jeph was a feminist, I'd assume the joke is that Pintsize intentionally ruined the date because she opened up with a gold digger question. I know it's a robot but she has that desperate "baby rabies" look about her.

Also, what is up with the line weight on Pintsize's head? It looks like Jeph pasted on another face after the fact and the shape didn't quite match the existing outline.

Grayson Sanchez
Grayson Sanchez

Also Pintsize has cum all over his face.

Jaxon Moore
Jaxon Moore

So how long until cuckquean robots take over the world?

Owen Walker
Owen Walker

the worst one involved an angry rhinoceras
amirite guize so randumb xd
I hate this
also why the fuck would robots go on blinddates ?

Parker Garcia
Parker Garcia

All the more pointless since we've now seen that robots can communicate via some chat program.
To a machine mind everything is virtual; there is no difference between reality and a simulation. From this I'd say it would be a much better joke if the purple robot was sat in a virtual café and talking to a robot Bob Sapp or some shit, with the revelation that it was actually Pintsize, sitting in Marten's apartment.
But no, best Jeph can manage is lolrandumb.

Aiden Bailey
Aiden Bailey

Jesus fuck, your idea would indeed work so much better and actually would offer some form of humor. It's so fucking simple and wouldn't require any more effort than what jeph produced, and even this jackoff couldn't do it.

Angel Diaz
Angel Diaz

Why would an AI be bad at knitting, if it could do it all? Knitting is a looped mechanical process, the exact sort of thing automated processes are built for.

Wyatt Campbell
Wyatt Campbell

Huh, I made this last night on my shitty 6-bit panel and am not seeing the "cum stains" on my other display. I guess the color errors blend in otherwise.

Jaxon Phillips
Jaxon Phillips

The robot has a visible seam around the base of the neck, but not around the shoulders or elbows?
Or maybe Jeph's robots don't actually have neck muscles and the head just swivels round like a doll?

Levi Ramirez
Levi Ramirez

It looks more like the head skin gets pulled down and overlaps the chestskin, like a special effects cowl, instead of any sort of jointing or care being put into seams. It also looks like even necks in this universe are tired of being there.

Justin Lewis
Justin Lewis

I'd prefer cuckqueen bots over cucks any day of the week.

Jace Long
Jace Long

I went to Reddit to see if they had any explanation for the latest comic other than "pintsize lol" and apparently we got an old Patreon comic because Jeph hurt his back again. Guy sure hurts his back a lot for someone who spends 12 hours a day in bed. Of course they're rationalizing this behavior as consistent with having a buffer.

That said, buffers take a long time to build and maintain. So I could see intentionally not using it when you have another option.
Like that makes any sense.

Josiah Phillips
Josiah Phillips

Guy sure hurts his back a lot for someone who spends 12 hours a day in bed.
If anything I'd say physical inactivity makes back problems more likely. Especially for fatasses.

Jose Baker
Jose Baker

I didn't think it through. What was going through my head was that Jeph's prescription ran out and needs an excuse to re-up. I am familiar with junkies with "back problems".

Blake Murphy
Blake Murphy

It makes even less sense than what's on the surface, because in that case he's saving his imaginary buffer panels for later by breaking a deal that he made to the people giving him hipster welfare bucks.

Caleb Thomas
Caleb Thomas

more projects in the future
Hasn't his "sci-fi" comic ended like two years ago ? How long does it take to start up something new ?

Sebastian Foster
Sebastian Foster

I think he's scared since AG was such a colossal fuck-up and the twat even dedicated it to Ian Banks at the end.
It was a shitshow of missed opportunities, internal inconsistency, "villains" more relatable than the "heroes", the stupid "technology is baaaaaad! :(" trope, and the biggest cop out of an ending ever which was basically thus:
There's something out there. Maybe aliens, or maybe not. We don't know.
They might do something. Dunno what.
Or they might not. We don't know.
I'd better leave the planet in case someone, who may or may not exist, may do something, we don't know what, with indeterminate effects. If they are any.
Enjoy your enforced, medieval dystopia!

Joshua Young
Joshua Young

Apparently it was only several months ago, but, yeah, seems longer, probably because we've pushed it out of our memories, like bad movies we don't realize we've watched before until an hour in.

Brandon Foster
Brandon Foster

Damn, it's been a while since I've been on Holla Forums. I've kind of missed these threads. Did Editfag Prime ever say anything after he left?

Lucas Rodriguez
Lucas Rodriguez

As far as we know, he managed to break free and fled toward the promised land with his wife and children in tow. If he's still lurking, he hasn't exposed himself, and it's probably better for his sanity that way.

Leo Robinson
Leo Robinson

Yeah, I remember that ending, holy hell, it was a collection of mistakes, idiocy and talentlessness.
I genuinely believe horrid webcomics like Jeph's have taught me a tremendous lot about narration, scriptwriting, etc. They've shown me the most obvious, immediate, direct faults an artist can make. Dobson helped in that regard too. Always impressive how much mediocrity can be an amazing teacher.

No fucking way, I legitimately thought it was years ago

Jordan Williams
Jordan Williams

fled toward the promised land
???

Grayson Davis
Grayson Davis

The metaphorical promised land of "Not attempting to rewrite Jeph's work 5 times a week". It took a hellish toll on him.

Josiah Martinez
Josiah Martinez

It sure was a great time for the rest of us though

Ethan Rodriguez
Ethan Rodriguez

and it's probably better for his sanity that way.

Word. I think the Jeph dream made him realize that he was walking a tightrope of bland insanity.

Nicholas Barnes
Nicholas Barnes

From old Patreon throwaway into canon. But, remember, Jeph has a buffer and totally isn't making this up on the spot.

Carter Cox
Carter Cox

I think I might have a gluten allergy
how old is she ? 25 ? Almost 30 ? How the fuck would she not know by now ? There's gluten in every fucking where. Jeph why do you always give us reasons to be sad at you.

Xavier Garcia
Xavier Garcia

It's important to be supportive of your friends
It's important to indulge their delusions
Don't help them; just agree with them
Is that Clarence subtly explaining his relationship with doublethink?
Kinda ironic that it's listening to such "friends" in the form of fans that's gotten Jeph into this creative black hole in the first place. And just when he thinks he has their full support, they start biting him if he strays from their ideal.

Benjamin Cox
Benjamin Cox

10/10 joke telling

Adrian Morales
Adrian Morales

Why does he keep adding new characters over and over and over when they're fifty-five characters that have disappeared without a trace and without resolving half of their plotpoints ?..

Juan Powell
Juan Powell

There's a labrynth of mysterious tunnels connecting random buildings throughout the city
Jeph uses it for a single lolsorandom throwaway gag instead of doing anything interesting with it

Logan Rogers
Logan Rogers

I've long thought Jeph hates his own comic and wants to escape but can't. I think he was genuinely excited about Alice Grove at first and then gradually realized he came unprepared and doesn't have what it takes to write a cohesive narrative. Sci-fi, especially "hard" sci-fi, is probably the worst thing to start off with because it's so easy to get in over your head and write yourself into corners. Jeph should have done something like tell the tale of two students in music college trying to stand out and make it as professionals. It's something he knows and is so constrained that he can't go crazy with it. Plus, it's something with a natural end date, perfect for a side project that's supposed to last 1-3 years. If it takes off, you can make it into a serial or sell it to someone else to do the same.

Easton Campbell
Easton Campbell

It's possible that something like that wound up on the cutting room floor because he thought it wouldn't be different or exciting enough to make his backers interested in donating.

Honestly, the idea of a lore dense sci-fi comic that starts in the middle and forces you to glean clues from context and background details sounds pretty cool. It's part of what made Dark Souls so prolific, and comics like Gunnerkrigg Court and Broodhollow do this very well. The problem is that Jeph isn't a good enough writer to fully flesh out a story to the point where he can drop hints 100+ pages in advance.

Leo Richardson
Leo Richardson

In general, good fantasy lore seems to come from either teams or individuals who have sunk untold amounts of time in advance into the frameworks of their ficitonal universes. Jeph didn't seem to have even an outline from which to follow in making Alice Grove and he's previously admitted to not keeping lore books and character notes, which is a huge no-no if your goal is internal consistency, which it is if your claim is your world is "hard sci-fi".

I was thinking that after the music students thing, Jeph could escalate his world building and story telling in the next one, after getting his feet wet. But who am I to say? After the abortion of Alice Grove, Jeph has replaced it with nothing and seems to have no inclination to.

As for the donations, Jeph's sole pitch was "ZOMG MEW COMEX". But, still, you're right in that people may have pulled support when they discovered that comic #2 was another hipster music slice of life thing. Even when it comes to sales pitches, Jeph finds a way to write himself into a corner.

Jose Torres
Jose Torres

We have a record here : a strip where nothing mwkes sense:
- who are them?
- why is the guy having breakfast with a total stranger?
- why does he not ask her anything until panep 2?
- why is she eating cereals?
- why is she drinking milk?
- Why is she suddenly sad in the third panel?
- why does she reveal the existence of the secret tunnel network?
- what up with her mouth in the last panel?

Eli Reyes
Eli Reyes

It's an originally-made-only-for-Patreon bonus comic that isn't bound by any rules of continuity or logic. Only reason it's here is he didn't have a regular page ready for some reason.

Jayden Adams
Jayden Adams

- what up with her mouth in the last panel?
As with all of his characters, Jeph only adds one facet to their personality. This one's a box muncher

Hudson Campbell
Hudson Campbell

you know, it's the last panel that makes me remember the clair(ence) is Jeph's idolized self insert, again.

Liam Gonzalez
Liam Gonzalez

The guy is Steve, one of the original characters that's not in the comic anymore. It's some sort of inside joke to trot him out once every other year and to have him do nothing but eat cereal.

The female robot is Melon, the robot repair shop's first customer. Her butt fell out. I realize this isn't helping you make sense of things. She doesn't actually seem to be eating. The bowl is empty. I think the "joke" is she doesn't eat cereal but she'll chew on the box. Because that's lolrandom.

Jeph's at some con. That's why he's hastily slapping up whatever he can. Because that's what artists with buffers do.

Brody Bailey
Brody Bailey

lol Pintsize's head size.

Caleb Johnson
Caleb Johnson

It was Robocop the whole time
Only in Jephville can a character be brightly colored, plot crucial, and also forgettable enough to be unrecognizable the next time we see them.

Michael Rogers
Michael Rogers

I don't understand why Melon exists.
It's a robot. Not the result of a couple deciding they want to bring a life into the world, or indeed having one because the contraception failed, but a robot - a product that had to be designed, assembled and sold.
Presumably Melon once had a purpose. A company does not send a product out without knowing if there are even any customers. Maybe it was an educational product for social workers to teach people how to cope with autistic children?

Nicholas Bell
Nicholas Bell

The number is written down on paper, not stored on the phone…?
With hindsight, I wonder if Faye and Menstro will ever apologise for being deliberately obstructive to Rokocop and trapping it in a garbage can (with a heafty weight too, which must have tipped the scales at at least 10kg), since the Robot Wars joint really was a pit of off-screen abuse and manipulation all along.

Luke Sullivan
Luke Sullivan

drop hints 100+ pages in advance.
fantasy lore seems to come from either teams or individuals who have sunk untold amounts of time in advance into the frameworks of their ficitonal universes.
I can speak from experience on this. And what you're both saying is true, you do need to sink ungodly amounts of time into going over the details in your worldbuilding, and walk the fine line between that and "worldbuilder's disease" (where you get so hung up on the details you never go anywhere), in order to have concrete rules and be able to foreshadow things well before they actually come up.

Albeit, I'm uncomfortable implying that my own work is "good" in such a statement, but it's worth bringing up if it'll contribute to the conversation.
Won't say what my comic is though, since shilling my own shit's irrelevant to the topic at hand. The point is that if there's one metric I can take some pride in, it's the amount of work I've put into this, and how I'm nowhere near done with it. And people like Jeph are never going to actually do anything to make their comic engaging, due to the workload it entails.

There's more to it than that, but yeah, you get the idea.

William Lewis
William Lewis

Still with the fucking toast.

Sebastian Foster
Sebastian Foster

How do you people read this shit? Was it ever good? How did you wade through 3000 pages of shit if you knew it was shit the whole time?

Caleb Allen
Caleb Allen

Perhaps Robokop is just too tsun to admit that Pintsize's toast bombardment was making her wetter than a freshly dredged net of fish, and this "throwaway" arc is going to turn into a story about kink shaming.

2003 was a barren wasteland in terms of webcomics. Questionable Content updated Mon-Fri in color, had a story to follow, and a sizeable backlog to paruse when you link-hopped into it, so it gained popularity simply by being a 6/10 in a world of 3/10s and 8/10s that sputtered and died after a few months. It wasn't the best by any measure, but it was good enough to occupy 45 seconds a day after class in the library, so it got my clicks. I've gotten through those 3694 pages one at a time over the course of 15 years, and it's only been in the last few of those that I've found a group of people that hate the thing I once loved as much as I do.

Caleb Collins
Caleb Collins

yet another dating arc

Carter Howard
Carter Howard

At the time, it was one webcomic among dozens I'd read just because they were there. QC's bonus was that the backgrounds were full of flat untextured colors and very easy to make quick throwaway comic edits out of. Then at some point years ago, it offended me so I dropped and shunned it. Then years later I realized there were many other people who agreed it was mockable and decided to rejoin in just on that side of things.

Jace Ward
Jace Ward

That seems to be all he knows, now.
Is it 'cause it's easy to churn out? None of them have been particularly tense but this latest one with the robots is utterly retarded, especially since there is no reason whatsoever why this couldn't have been entirely virtual.
As I mentioned earlier, Pintsize could have appeared however it wanted which could lead to some conflict between it and the human cast as they could say it's lying to rokocop by creating a false image, to which Pintsize could try to explain that it's all virtual, so doesn't matter. This expanding upon the role of AIs in society that Jeph keeps hinting at but then runs away from at the nearest opportunity.

Actually, I don't think Jeph would touch such a story as Pintsize pretending he's a robo-Bob Sapp may be too much of a parallel with Clarence pretending he's a girl.

Ethan Jones
Ethan Jones

It used to be a bit better. It was never great, but it was just entertaining enough to be worth the ten seconds to read each comic, for a while.
I lasted a while, in something of a boiling frog effect, until he cranked the shit up to eleven with the tranny arc. I left it shortly after once I realized that it was only going to get worse.
Some time later I found this thread, and have been coming back ever since.

Caleb Gonzalez
Caleb Gonzalez

This page back in 2012 is the point where I finally realized, "Oh, we're going there. It's not just wacky comedy with coffee and robots any more, now it's time to get preached at." And after dropping it here, I ended up missing the entire trap arc.

Jayden Myers
Jayden Myers

All hands on neck!
Fucking hell, so is this it for AI hatred? A single, fundamentalist church and a couple of stoners down an alleyway?
A veritable pogrom…

another rung up the evolutionary ladder
Ironic that most evolutionary developments as a species are a result of rampant discrimination and oppression. Humans are the only creatures on the planet that actively oppose survival of the fittest.

Bentley Thomas
Bentley Thomas

He dare not show any more explicit robot oppression than that; it might cause panic attacks among the general readership. Just keep it safely offscreen and implied, with the only exposure to it being the main characters saying how horrible it is out there.

David Nguyen
David Nguyen

Some time later I found this thread, and have been coming back ever since.
Can't speak for everybody, but these threads are all that keeps me in. It's a social thing more than actually caring about QC at this point. I was just about out when the threads started.

Levi Johnson
Levi Johnson

For me it's the social aspect plus the funny edits. I think the best thing about this comic is the edits, and making the edits. Every now and again he'll put out a comic that's just begging to be fucked up.

Easton Taylor
Easton Taylor

But don't you see? Some humans hold an extremist view, so all humans must be held accountable for the original sin of robophobia. The only way their collective crime can be forgiven, temporarily, is by demonstrating, at all times and ideally with a monetary contribution, that they actually hate themselves and love our new robot overlords unconditionally.

David Rivera
David Rivera

Still with the toast.

Jose Stewart
Jose Stewart

Boston accent
Before I read that I thought it suddenly became Jewish.
I actually think this comic has hit all new lows with this constant relationshit. Especially since it's all new relationshit, not resolving those that had already been set up but never went anywhere. It could be that Jeph is trying different pairings and is gauging the audience reaction before deciding which one to continue.
It really is absolutely fucking awful.

David Hughes
David Hughes

You're married to your job
I'm in an open relationship with my job
This is clever enough that I'm sure he didn't think of it on his own.

Also, written phonetic accents are somewhat annoying to read even when done well by good writers. If Jeph starts in with the "funny accent" punchline instead of actual jokes, I don't think even the diehard fans will be able to claim to like it. Not to mention the raw absurdity of a computer involuntarily switching to a mangled version of a nonlocal pronunciation of its chosen language because its emotion was too intense. Fuck, it barely makes sense when people do it. It doesn't make the robots seem more human, it makes the scene absurd and kills the suspension of disbelief.

Alexander Carter
Alexander Carter

That bullshit "accent"…. Boston, huh?
Aye
Well, now I'm thinking Scottish so it fails at the first word.
goahd
I see that as "go-ad". Presumably he means "gawd".
noaht
I see that as "no-at". Presumably he means "nawt".
And that fucking hand on the blue cop in the 3rd panel, what the fuck?

Jacob Jackson
Jacob Jackson

Did Stabby just create a strip about two robocops drinking from hip-flasks?!? WTF is he getting into?
Now robots can eat and drink like humans?

Gabriel Rogers
Gabriel Rogers

Don't you understand? Robots are humans.

The only difference between a sentient robot and a human is the fact that one is metal and the other is flesh. That's why computers make such a good stand-in for oppressed minorities!

Luis Morgan
Luis Morgan

Looks like they're sucking on them rather than tipping them. Knowing what Jeph thinks is funny, those will be some fucking robo-juice box or some shit 'cause lolradumb - first cereal, now juice boxes! No brakes on this crazy train!

Cameron Miller
Cameron Miller

I'm usually not into Gundam but I could get into that.

Colton Richardson
Colton Richardson

I'm pretty sure he stole all of Cop McBot's dialogue from somewhere, it sounds far too outgoing and male for Jeph.

Angel Nguyen
Angel Nguyen

Surprise, surprise. The tranny believes in self-indulgence and sweet lies rather than self-improvement and bitter truths.

This is very emblematic of the
The only reason anyone would disagree with me is that they're evil or insane
mindset.

Early seasons Simspons did it. Can't find the clip now, but Edna Krabappel was flirting with a park ranger, asking him if he was married. He said that he was married to his job, but when he realised he was flirting he said
"… but it's an open marriage."
and they started making out.

Bentley Hill
Bentley Hill

but when he realised he was flirting
*she was flirting

Parker Scott
Parker Scott

lardlad.com/assets/quotes/season16/GABF05.shtml

Season 16 is early?

Nicholas Sullivan
Nicholas Sullivan

On A Clear Day I Can't See My Sister
Oh fuck this episode, I thought I erased this from my memory

Nathaniel Gutierrez
Nathaniel Gutierrez

hip flasks
To be fair, it's some electronic device and their "sipping" on the USB end of it. Kind of stupid, as to be expected; I would have figured magnets would be better, but maybe those are considered a different form of drug abuse. I believe we discussed magnet abuse in earlier threads. I haven't visited these threads in awhile, seems I haven't missed anything "important".

Honestly, the biggest fault this (and other bad web comics) have is a general lack of consistency. While reading a series that drops hints hundreds of chapters in advance can make for a great experience Kubera does this well, if you can stand the slow-as-fuck pacing, just having a consistent world that doesn't warp to fit the ever-changing narratives of pop culture or radical political ideologies of your rabid fanbase is good enough.

You should also make sure that you don't sink so much time in that you neglect the other aspects of storytiming. Along the same line as that "worldbuilder's disease", but even if you do go places with those details, make sure not to neglect good dialogue, or plateau in the art department, etc. For example, the webcomic Knight Run has some awesome lore and the art looks a bit rough at first but improves, but the author can't write dialogue for shit.

What's your work, user? Is it a web comic or novel?

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Juan Scott
Juan Scott

just having a consistent world
He could start by having a world that doesn't simultaneously take place in 2005, 2010, 2018, and 2150.

Jacob Ramirez
Jacob Ramirez

I feel it necessary to post a separate comic and its alt-text just so we don't eventually desensitize ourselves and loop around to actually thinking something from stabby is actually clever. No fear of that happening with this strip, of course.

You're then left with most of a jar of sauce and most of a block of cheese. The proper thing to do in this situation, of course, is to purchase more pepperoni and make a new pizza, this time resisting the temptation to chow down on those delicious sausage slices. Instead, you will make a regular, disappointing cheese pizza. Its blank, cheesy top mocks you."Where are my meats," it mocks. "Where are my meats, shame man?"

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Attached: 1520375217-2018-03-07-A-Real-Pizza-Work.jpg (235.66 KB, 600x1125)

Cooper Murphy
Cooper Murphy

So Clinton is basically going full Archie here.
Stabby should consult Gisele Lagace on how to write this, so we get some of her bland relationshit instead of the same bland relationshit.

Joseph Hill
Joseph Hill

Oh boy another robo romance "arc" that will go nowhere. What is up with Clit's hand? Did Jeph forget to draw it in? Or did Clit get the "covering" so that Jeph can just draw a Mickey Mouse hand and call it a day?

Mason Diaz
Mason Diaz

I think Clit always had an (MJ) glove over his robo hand. If only so hand stab could cheat when it suited him. Though if he pulls this shit in the middle of a comic, the lemmings won't notice and we just expect it…

Brody Smith
Brody Smith

Too lazy to look it up but Clit once gave some speech about how having it without the covering gave him personality or something. As far as I know, it's always supposed to be drawn as a mechanical hand.

David Myers
David Myers

Is it still winter in-universe? It might be that Stabby drew him with gloves, not realising that men don't normally wear white ones. Or that mechanical hands probably don't have the need/ability to feel cold.

Asher Moore
Asher Moore

It used to be a robot hand. But in a strip a while ago, Jeph got lazy and put out a quarter baked excuse for him not to have to draw the robot parts. I think after the bakery bear that works nightshift as a bouncer destroyed it.

Attached: Wrong-Plug.PNG (71.88 KB, 160x293)

Noah Moore
Noah Moore

What do robots drink that makes them drunk actually ?
It better not be boozed and they for some reason got programmed to act drunk if they drink alcohol

Lucas Lee
Lucas Lee

It *should* be magnets making them "drunk" but such imagination was beyond Jeph, apparently.
Berf
For fuck's sake Jeph, really? Not *clank* or *bonk* or any sound effect which lends the robot some fucking weight or solidity?
And I just noticed that Copbot has no tits in the first panel. Oh, and there are no bubbles in the second panel! Does this mean it suddenly sobered up for a few seconds? How can we know it's drunk if there are no bubbles, Jeph?!

Nathaniel Reyes
Nathaniel Reyes

Wouldn't magnets imply fucking their own circuits up forever ? I don't think that can be fixed; whereas a glass of water or a nice night of sleep fixes a drunk's ass.

Jack Morales
Jack Morales

more blushing robots

Attached: 3697.png (210.46 KB, 800x1160)

Landon Martin
Landon Martin

What's your name, citizen?
It's hard to pinpoint what's the worst part of this. You have a civil servant talking to a civilian like a Street Judge, being intoxicated in uniform when they can just turn it off, admitting to being intoxicated in uniform when they can just turn it off, a police officer and a robot without even a rough estimate of what time it is, and the same police officer/robot having low motor skills after closing Boones_Farm.jar.

Ryan Gutierrez
Ryan Gutierrez

But remember, Stabby is a complete hipster libcuck, which logically means that his robots run off the same firmware that he uses: Apple Macintosh.
So basically she's merely closed the window, not closed the program, and has yet to actually close it straight up.

Leo Williams
Leo Williams

Since this comic simultaneously takes place in 2005 and other, future dates, maybe copbot's firmware is before the 2007 daylight savings changes so that she is simultaneously state-of-the-art future tech and as obsolete as a Pentium III. Of course this ignores that she'd think it was an hour earlier but lolrandom. Maybe Network Time Protocol isn't a thing in this post-singularity world and her internal clock skewed by hours like a computer from the 80s did. I mean, these things only selectively have Wi-Fi and internet access, it seems, so maybe there is nothing to synchronize to. One of the myriad of ways Jeph's future vision is a technological regression of what actually exists.

Fantastic post, both metaphorically and in pointing out one of the most nonsensical UI decisions Apple has stubbornly stuck with since the 80s.

Jaxon Butler
Jaxon Butler

Physically weak, gets drunk, loses motor function, blushes, can't tell the time, gets embarassed, loses its temper.
Why are these things robots at all? Make rokocop a human and the only thing that changes is the skin colour.

Eli Jones
Eli Jones

Jeph forgot Clit is supposed to have a robot hand again. In panel 4 >his left hand looks like one of those large wooden forks you use to toss a salad.

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Nathaniel Perry
Nathaniel Perry

Jeph caught it, and…I guess it really is supposed to be a Mickey Mouse hand or Michael Jackson

Attached: 3697a.png (123.42 KB, 800x1160)

Aiden Ortiz
Aiden Ortiz

We're trying to be more inclusive

Attached: 3698.png (257.87 KB, 800x1160)

Brandon Phillips
Brandon Phillips

magnets
It doesn't have to be a physical magnet, it could be a device that induces electromagnetic interference. That's something you have to account for when designing sensitive electronic hardware, like robots, sensors, calibration equipment, and whatnot. Not that I would expect Jeph to know, but causing intentional, transient, electronic interference could be the "hard scifi" answer to how a robotic AI could get "drunk". And just like for humans, it could potentially have longer lasting consequences.

But no, it's just software. Thanks Jeph.

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Sebastian Bell
Sebastian Bell

You know, I could come up with a couple good reasons why a robot hand needs to wear a glove. the most obvious of which is that the servos/Nerve-transmitters have an optimal performance temperature, and Clinton, who was apparently a techno-geek when we met him, is paranoid about ruining his hand.
However, this is giving Stabby way too much credit. We all know he's just using his basic hand copypasta and filling it with Grey.

Joseph Hughes
Joseph Hughes

The in-universe explanation is "not having a cover lets grit and scrapes accumulate", but we all know it's because he's lazy.

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Henry Walker
Henry Walker

It's a special kind of lazy when he gets as far as filling the hand grey, but can't be bothered with adding a black line for the joints.
And it's interesting that his excuse for the glove is to keep grit out the joints, where none of the actual robots seem to suffer that problem.

Jonathan King
Jonathan King

He really is doing the harem thing.

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Jaxson Thompson
Jaxson Thompson

How many times is Jeph going to forget the robot hand? He doesn't even think to check after missing it just two strips before? He doesn't look at, like, the next five strips in one go? Nope, just checking this one. No way I made this mistake that I've made several times before yet again. Everything is 100% good.

inb4 "oh Clinton got a flesh colored covering he did it off panel while coming into the bar"

Henry Scott
Henry Scott

You know what this needs? A thread-based game based around the cliches of QC. A drinking game would be too hazardous… maybe Bingo?
What's the free space? "Subtext isn't funny?"

Dylan Sullivan
Dylan Sullivan

That's himself he's drawn at the fucking bar, isn't it? So he was too busy giggling to himself about the self-insert to remember consistency.
Speaking of which, looks like we got another robocop forgetting it can simply disengage drunk mode.
I don't really get the joke here, either.
Brun is really busy!
Lol… I suppose…

James Sanchez
James Sanchez

Punchline is "Boy, you sure do behave in an unusual manner!".
Shit, that's almost a free box right there.

Brayden Evans
Brayden Evans

Brun is really busy!
…with lolrandom stuff OMG PONIES!!!!!

Matthew Wright
Matthew Wright

Wouldn't the free space be "not drawing on-model"? Also, it can't be bingo proper without the All Hands On Neck and lolsorandom boxes.

Carter Smith
Carter Smith

Hand wrong again. But it's a dream sequence so it's okay!

No, wait, this is some alternative universe where her recollection is corrupted because his hand wasn't drawn correctly when they met.

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Caleb Allen
Caleb Allen

handstab doesn't bother to change the hand because he's set his comics to automatically upload and is too lazy to replace them because "muh buffer"

This is just a theory to keep me from going insane though. Don't wanna give handstab too much benefit of the doubt.

Mason James
Mason James

HOW THE FUCK MANY PEOPLE DOES HE NEED TO SHIP WITH CLINTON
WHO EVEN LIKES CLINTON

Benjamin Jenkins
Benjamin Jenkins

I think he's realized that Clinton is exactly the sort of character that gets used as a protagonist in harem romcom manga. He's a comedic straight man who is successful enough to have all his money come in off panel, and is an all around decent guy that isn't aggressive with women.

We now have our three romantic interests introduced (Iraqui Peppermint Patty, Chad, and Robocop) and the bar is a location that they all have natural reasons to visit. The main question now becomes this: Is Jeph going to push another racemix couple, another gay couple, another Clang couple, or a harem?

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Jason Diaz
Jason Diaz

Oh, we could decide that no problem. All we'd have to do is shovel a specific SJW Propaganda on the forums until the hive mind starts regurgitating it, and Stabby caves in to it.
Here's our options:
1. There's not enough gay men at the forefront of the comic.
2. There's not enough racial diversity in the comic.
3. There's not enough Clang precedence for Faybles to happen.
4. Polyamory deserves the same representation that other alternative lifestyles do.

Henry Gray
Henry Gray

Robot gets tired
Robot blushes
Robot fantasizes about naked, smelly, sweating, pissing, shitting, farting humans.
Why is rokocop a robot, again?

Oh, and also,
Sourdough - LOL!!!
The most hipster of all breads
Pervert
Fucking hell, no wonder Jeph's single.

And furthermore, that looks like that cunt Melon in the picture at the edge of the 3rd panel. More oh-so high-larious, random lolfulness inbound.
Who needs structure and story, anyway when you have lolsorandumbness?

Carter Richardson
Carter Richardson

I know it's pretty obvious right now that Jeph only trots out the "robots are totally oppressed!" bullshit when he tries to desperately inject some drama, but again in this past few strips he completely fucking destroys his own narrative in that regard.
I mean, here we have 2 robots in a bar, and no-one says anything. Not even a dirty look.
Robot fucking cops, nonetheless!
Who would feel comfortable with uniformed, human cops in a bar, never mind robots with all their scanning and recording abilities? Wouldn't anyone regard this as the very incarnation of police state surveillance?

Aside from that, I thought Brun was working at that stupid bakery? Who would trust that thing behind a bar ever again since her last place burned down as a direct result of her actions?
And if Chad still works there, I do wonder when he actually sleeps. Thing about bouncers is they work really late hours. Thing about bakeries is they work really early hours.
There's barely any time for any sort of social life in there if he wants to have any sleep at all. Or, indeed, work out.
But hell, what am I thinking - Jeph and his kind don't believe in hard work to get results; gyms are probably fascist, or something.

Robert Williams
Robert Williams

Talking shit about Sourdough
You take that back. If any bread is going to be called Hipster, it's gotta be some kind of soy-laden rice flour abomination.

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Jaxon Taylor
Jaxon Taylor

To be fair, I would fugg the robocop.

Joseph Russell
Joseph Russell

Don't forget Emilolrandom, though that's cooled off so much it's understandable that you forgot.

Chad's hours
Thing is, Jeph worked a real job–though it was really just as an office intern–for just a few months so he doesn't really understand general employment. He's only a step or two removed from billionaires who think a loaf of bread costs $500.

Cameron Phillips
Cameron Phillips

Don't forget Emilolrandom
I struggle to remember her even when she's on-panel.

Ethan Ward
Ethan Ward

But what's the best kind of bread?

Mason Cruz
Mason Cruz

homemade

Jonathan Williams
Jonathan Williams

This man speaks the truth. Pretty much every bread is elevated to God Tier by coming fresh out of the oven.

Luke Russell
Luke Russell

Yes, and also please visit and post on /ck/more, they deserve better.

Joshua Carter
Joshua Carter

a dumb person would say 'delaware'

No they wouldn't. No person would say "delaware".

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Tyler Hughes
Tyler Hughes

I don't get it. Is there an actual joke with "Delaware" or is it lolsorandom with the first word that came to his head?

Brayden Peterson
Brayden Peterson

The latter.

Cooper Perry
Cooper Perry

I noticed it in a much earlier strip, but Chad really seems to be losing muscle mass now.
Maybe Jeph was feeling intimidated?

Michael Powell
Michael Powell

Do you think we're underestimating Stabby, and that secretly this is all some sort of front based on a bet he made with someone 6 years ago that he could pretend to be completely pozzed, and remove all substance from his comic, treat his readers like shit, and still make full-time employment money off of it?
Never mind, that would insinuate that Jeph is actually clever.

David Mitchell
David Mitchell

I dunno about that. If anything that makes all this much more of a tragic tale, as Jeph has clearly gone native.

Colton Taylor
Colton Taylor

Six years ago would include the palm piercing event. That would be a pretty strong dedication to the act if so.

Kevin Cooper
Kevin Cooper

So are these two gonna fuck or

Julian Ross
Julian Ross

Dunno yet. Clit might become a Harem Protagonist, or, more likely in Jeph's case, a Bed-Hopper Protagonist.

Blake Fisher
Blake Fisher

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Noah Clark
Noah Clark

Once again user effortlessly improves the source material with a working joke, with a bonus stab at Jeph.

Carter Diaz
Carter Diaz

Seriously, though, when did she start working here? Did I just forget?

Also, Jeph's addressing the unrealistic hours dough boy works. Totally not adapting to fan criticism on the fly, two month buffer. That's why he posts posts Patreon strips and has to shoehorn them into canon immediately afterwards, because that makes so much more sense then posting #2 of 60 when you party too late or whatever.

Speaking of non-working jokes, Jeph could have done something with baker's dozens, mixed up flour and flower, use "bread" as a metaphor for money–whatever–but, no, he has to ape Randall Munroe and pretend he knows fuck all about computer science.

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Charles Reyes
Charles Reyes

The real answer is Because scones are a very specific subset of bread, and changing it too much means that it is no longer a scone, thus, removing it from consideration no matter the level of quality.

It took me longer to type that out than it did to think of the answer, you fucking hack.

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Thomas Roberts
Thomas Roberts

Oh yeah, I forgot Clinton was some sort of nerd that sperged out over stuff as mundane as the robots that saturate this universe.

in the far future of QC everyone is a horny orb of light
Jeph is testing his audience to see if he can get away with pasting simple geometric objects generated by whatever trendy drawing program he currently uses.

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Nathan Rogers
Nathan Rogers

We kind of understand them right now
But they're advancing faster than we can keep up
This reeks of an apocalyptic catastrophe, but I doubt Jeph has thought it out. I bet he thinks that becoming incomprehensibly advanced will make them "No different than humans" and not "Gods that think faster than we can comprehend".

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Asher Gray
Asher Gray

I know Jeph really doesn't like exploring ideas in the universe he created (shit, he can't even see a relationship through, never mind anything on a societal scale), but he really seems to be making this AI shit up as he goes along and only based off short-term memory.

I mean, he has mentioned discrimination against robots and how downtrodden they are, yet now he says no-one knows how AI minds work at all or how they came to be… yet the country keeps building fucking bodies to put them in.

His AIs are starting to sound more and more like one of those scam adverts from the backs of shitty TV magazines; the ones that claim to have the solution to all your problems saying, "We don't know how it works - it just DOES!!".

Zachary Edwards
Zachary Edwards

studing
I swear to fucking god your entire day is spent jacking your dog off and crying in your bed Jeph can't you bother proofreading your trash comic once in a while

Gavin Davis
Gavin Davis

Maybe they already reached that point, and nobody knows it.
In fact, maybe AI has gotten so good that it can't keep up with itself, leading to the whole system silently crumbling from the inside out and the robots becoming progressively dumber.
Catastrophe avoided.

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Wyatt Rivera
Wyatt Rivera

based off short-term memory
We know this is how he handles character details with him getting his own lore wrong and admitting to using the QC wiki as a crutch because he doesn't keep the information himself. I realize philosophical underpinnings are different from incidental character lore and that even expert writers occasionally make these sort of mistakes but Jeph is hasty and disorganized at a fundamental level.

Austin Garcia
Austin Garcia

This is happening in a post-singularity world, so all this is utter bullshit

Jonathan Roberts
Jonathan Roberts

Because he has zero interest in doing anything actually sci-fi about this setting. Oh, he loves Science, but less in an actually applying it sense and more in a cheerleading role to be standing on the side of intellectuals who tell him that his political enemies are wrong, so obviously they're people to love and cuddle.

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Mason Taylor
Mason Taylor

AI have a caste system based on processing speed, but it backfires and turns into a bucket of crabs, with each member actively holding everyone back
See, this is interesting.

You know, the first time I saw the "I fucking LOVE science" memes, I was excited because I thought I had found people who loved exploring the mysteries of the universe as much as I did. When I found out that "Science" was just a fashion statement to them, I was incredibly disappointed. Then Big Bang Theory came out, and I got my hopes up for a highbrow comedy show about the cutting edge of human knowledge, only to find that it was just a pop culture reference machine gun with a stale laugh track.

I hate these people

Liam Scott
Liam Scott

Jeph is a male version of those feminist champions of science who love the topic so much they get a degree in gender studies.

"Science" was just a fashion statement to them
Yeah. These people are so cargo cult, too. They treat "science" as magic and say things like, "In 100 years science will grant us <some bullshit that obviously breaks fundamental laws of physics>." You try arguing with them but they don't even understand basic things like conservation of mass, energy, and momentum. "But everyone said the Wright Brothers were wrong!!" I find the rise in "science" scams bilking these hipsters amusing.

Big Bang Theory
I hate these people
For the past 10 years or however long it's been, every normie BBT watcher I come across just can't believe I don't watch the show. Buy they have Star Wars references! They talk about Lord of the Rings! Yeah, great. So did my friends, 20 years ago.

Grayson Wright
Grayson Wright

harem intensifies

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Aaron Gomez
Aaron Gomez

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Jonathan Sanchez
Jonathan Sanchez

Yep, now I'm sure that he's taking cues from the Japs.

My fucking sides, man. I just gave it a skim because I thought it was a doublepost and you ambushed me.

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Sebastian Thompson
Sebastian Thompson

Christ, you made "Delaware" hilarious. What is this user magic.

Matthew Lee
Matthew Lee

Allow me to enlighten you.
Most of the problem is that Jeph is Jeph, however, if we look at his Twitter, the bigger problem becomes immediately apparent.
If you look at his timeline, look at two different posts, one from a few days ago, and one from a few years ago. There's really no difference between them. Jeph's life is caught in a massive feedback loop and stagnated, and by extension, so has his creativity and sense of what an actual joke is.
Compared to that, any user can make Delaware funny.

Jack Gomez
Jack Gomez

I bet no one predicted dough boy would walk in at an opportune time! Totally original concept.
Also, Clit's head is too small in panel 5.

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John Walker
John Walker

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Wyatt Harris
Wyatt Harris

Elliot smells
It's a combined edit and omit.

Connor Thomas
Connor Thomas

Of course he walked in on them. IPP is the clueless one that places the Protagonist in awkward situations with her thickheaded antics, Chad is the straight man (pun in yes/no superposition) who the Protagonist gets along with until he overreacts to things that occur involving the protagonist, and Robokop is the "outsider" that he looks to for stability even though her intentions are impure.

Delaware is a bit weak here, but it still works due to the context of the last edit and its context. The pixeldick is top notch, however.

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Matthew Allen
Matthew Allen

There's a strong suspension of disbelief involved in regarding Chad there as a bouncer when he gets so easily panicked.
But then, it is QC-ville so I dare say that'll be a very easy job indeed. You could likely take over the town with little more than strategic frowning.
I know Jeph wants some romantic tension, otherwise he wouldn't be setting up all these stupid relationships all over the place, but is he so easily triggered now that he lacks the emotional fortitude?
Rather than the comedy about-face from Chad he could have at least tried to make him look shocked and a little bit broken at seeing the object of his affection pinned against a wall by this retard with the Groucho Marx eyebrows.

Maybe even a glare and throw some authority around like, "Brun, could you hurry up and get those pint glasses? We took you on out of kindness but you need to work!"?

William Harris
William Harris

an human bouncer in a world with combat robots stalking the cities
When an arm-sized hydraulic piston is strong enough to rip a man in half

WHY OH GOD WHY

Thomas Baker
Thomas Baker

It's possible that Chad is a cyborg, but the real answer is that Jeph doesn't think robots are appreciably different from humans, so you might as well have a human bouncer when a robot police officer can get trapped in a metal garbage can by putting something heavy on top of it.

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Luke Walker
Luke Walker

an get trapped in a metal garbage can by putting something heavy on top of it.

Something that won't stop even a normal human.
So, Stabby cannot into humans AND cannot into robots

Samuel Butler
Samuel Butler

It would stop a limp wristed soyboy.

Wyatt Hill
Wyatt Hill

I've been away from these threads for too long. I've missed you editfags.

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Thomas Ross
Thomas Ross

double dose of shit

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Nolan Anderson
Nolan Anderson

GAH. It's like corruption porn, but stupider. The tan makes it look like Stabby has been fapping to ganguro hentai, the nose ring is dumb and unnoticeable, and honestly, Hanners was neglected enough that she was still cute and awkward and likeable to some degree, she was the one character I liked.
Give me back the days of a Hanner that was a basket of nerves that stressed about sexy firemen pics and had erotic dreams about Indiana Jones.

Lucas Perry
Lucas Perry

How come you guys haven't made a new thread yet?

Samuel Barnes
Samuel Barnes

Page 14, we have 15 pages now.

Jonathan Stewart
Jonathan Stewart

First comic
There's nothing inherently bad about shoehorning a new character into your comic, but Stabby goes out of his way to make Melon as obnoxious and unlikable as possible. Also, no door lock uses a 3-number code. 4 is a minimum with 5-7 being more common, since it takes about 5 minutes to brute force a 3 digit code, but over an hour to do a 4 and days to do a 5+.

Second comic
Hanners has that "You're Beautiful" look on her face. She's about to get ruined and sidelined for a few years after Jeph is done toying with her.

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Kevin Wood
Kevin Wood

Jeph loves pretending to know about encryption but stumbles on this basic building block. And this is a world with robots.

Easton Murphy
Easton Murphy

Why wouldn't robodyke just share the beer.tar with the green retard? She had no trouble being drunk in uniform, so piracy shouldn't be a hitch. And why is Hannelore afraid of getting her nose pierced, when she has like 50 other piercings? Is it some kind of sentience coming through, fearing that she too will become Jeph? Also, why is she orange?

Andrew Russell
Andrew Russell

Shallow victory

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Luke Wood
Luke Wood

But she wasn't reading the cues right, since she trampled on HaremMC's discomfort. It was her blunt lack of social awareness that caused Chad to misunderstand. Or…is Jeph making her do this on purpose because he's aware of the fact that she wouldn't realize it was her fault? Fuck, I can't tell if IPP or Jeph is the retard here.

Charles Ramirez
Charles Ramirez

Made Winslow cuter
Looks exactly the fucking same,to me. Or maybe Jeph thinks that hipster pants that look too small are cute. I think it's just making Winslow look a step closer to being a ventriloquist's dummy.

Melon appears
This character is like the holy grail of hack webcomic writers - requires no thought, no rhyme nor reason, no development and fits in anywhere 'cause lolrandumb. Can't think of how to progress his myriad sub-plots; insert Melon. Can't be bothered writing one day; insert Melon. Inadvertently set up some emotionally troubling drama that he simply cannot cope with; insert Melon.

I was reading the social cues right
Which social cues were she reading when she was pressing Fisting Glover up against the wall, demanding to be smelled?

Fuck, I can't tell if IPP or Jeph is the retard here.
It has long since been established that Jeph often forgets what he wrote the previous day, and doesn't refer to any notes or, indeed, his own comic.

Juan Carter
Juan Carter

What men talk like this? What man apologizes profusely to another, simpering male who is a near complete stranger when a woman comes onto him? I guess this is soyboy behavior, but it's completely foreign to me. I expect this even if they're competing for a woman because whining about someone is encroaching on a love interest is unmanly. Are there women who are actually into this?

S-s-sorry for l-l-l-liking you wh-wh-wh-when th-th-that g-gg-g-guy over there also l-l-likes you
oh so manly you really get the primal urges going

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Joseph Diaz
Joseph Diaz

It's… complicated?
In what way is it complicated? He could simply say "no" - there's no need for the embarrassment in this case.
That's what I really don't understand about Jeph - sometimes he will accidentally touch on some genuine drama and then runs fucking screaming and wraps it up in the most bullshit way possible and pretends like it never happened.
And later he'll actually try to create drama and it's so forced and ham-fucking-fisted it has no impact at all and ends up so cringworthy it's painful, yet this is when he grabs on tight and won't let go.
Constantly snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Ian Cooper
Ian Cooper

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Chase Hill
Chase Hill

The double hands on neck pose is supposed to lift the pectorals, not shove them down into the ribcage. You'd think he'd at least have a decent grasp on his signature move. Not to mention the train wreck that is the writing.

My sister is a man
Every time

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Jose Lopez
Jose Lopez

Could this be in the next header?

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Jordan Rogers
Jordan Rogers

Ugh

Charles Price
Charles Price

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Colton Brown
Colton Brown

why is every single edit funnier than Jeph's entire catalog?

Ayden Diaz
Ayden Diaz

Sincerity.
Jeph has none. Anons here have some to spare. Thus, they make better content.

Tyler Walker
Tyler Walker

What about this one?

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Jordan Perry
Jordan Perry

It is an edit made to mock the strip, but does demonstrate that a lot of the dialogue can be removed and the point still remains.
I guess that shows more of Jeph's character - Apologise, apologise, explain the apology and then, just in case, apologise some more.

Cameron Peterson
Cameron Peterson

Jeph's content is questionable, at best.

Carson Morales
Carson Morales

That's almost clever enough to justify Jeph's slow transition from having semi-risque irreverent humor in most comics to having barely any content at all in any comic.

Aaron Anderson
Aaron Anderson

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Aaron Wilson
Aaron Wilson

I'll do you one better.

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Dominic Gutierrez
Dominic Gutierrez

Yep. That definitely counts as "Claireface"

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Luis Hernandez
Luis Hernandez

We can go further.

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Cameron Powell
Cameron Powell

Some premium page 14 shit here.

Justin Morgan
Justin Morgan

We're the last thread on page 14. If anyone were to say, bump us to page 15 by creating the new thread, I'm sure no one would be too autistic about it.

Hudson Martin
Hudson Martin

Now this is how you make Delaware funny. You gotta drive it so far into the ground that it pops out the other side of the earth, reborn as a new layer in the onion of memetic humor that only exists on this small corner of this particular Canadian hand mutilation board.

Last I heard, the BO was amazed that we're maintaining a general that has neither gone to shit nor exploded onto the other threads. It's not something you see…well, ever. Hate is a powerful force.

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Matthew Harris
Matthew Harris

I think it's primarily because you get non-Holla Forums anons visiting here just for this thread alone, so we lack that self-cannibalizing opinionated bullshit where Holla Forums material can only be viewed in the context of Holla Forums, and thus ruins itself.
Also, we're pretty much united in having fun hating Jeph to really spend much time shitposting against each other.

Juan Rogers
Juan Rogers

I need the patrons to think I'm tough and scary.
No one thinks you're tough and scary, Jeph. Their apprehension is due to you looking like a doughy freak with the piercings and tattoos. What you are detecting is disgust.

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Carson Wood
Carson Wood

I think it's primarily because you get non-Holla Forums anons visiting here just for this thread alone
This is true, at least for me. I only come here for to see what new low Handstab has attained, and the OC we generate from it. It does feel as though we're dying, though that could just be the site in general.

Jackson Martinez
Jackson Martinez

the BO was amazed that we're maintaining a general that has neither gone to shit nor exploded onto the other threads
It's funny when people complain about the thread during the time it isn't in autosage, given how much worse it could be.

you get non-Holla Forums anons visiting here
I basically count at this point. Holla Forumsumblr is unbearable, and 8/co/ is on some sort of death spiral, beyond the loss in traffic of the site in general. There's also the fact that while I still like this stuff, I'm getting older and won't consume marginal stuff anymore hate-reading QC with you all excepted, and this is coming at the same time as a forcing down in quality in multiple related industries. I doubt I'd like SJW Marvel 25 years ago, either.

Matthew Edwards
Matthew Edwards

It also doesn't help matters when Jeph goes to such lows that jokes are harder to come up with, due to lack of actual content.

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Ryder Garcia
Ryder Garcia

Move the "True" bubble to the right and change it to "For you."

Ian Wilson
Ian Wilson

You. I like you.

So even Clinton does not get human interactions, uh?
There is not a single straight character left here? I'm totally ok with gays and queers in comix, but here it's getting ridiculous

Juan Johnson
Juan Johnson

I mean even the fucking robots are gay.

Justin Cruz
Justin Cruz

It's his goal. If he leaves a single character in the story non-LGBTQYPX, then that's tantamount to endorsing Trump/Pence 2020.

Luke Lee
Luke Lee

Awkward full-body hug out of nowhere
Not hand-on-shoulder with the same reaction
He can't even do cute moments right. For one thing, making Chad flush and stammer at a hug is far less impactful than having him get flustered over normal contact. For another, the entire drive behind cute moments like this is the gap. If Chad is always a timid, whimpering, sissy, nobody is going to care when he gets flustered. If he was actually portrayed as the big, scary guy Jeph tells us he is, then it would be a big deal that someone was pushing him out of his normal demeanor.

But, like everything Jeph does, he only grasps the surface image of a thing without realising its true nature.

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Cameron Price
Cameron Price

made Elliot cuter

How? He looks like a fucking idiot - I really think (among many other things) Jeph needs to work on his fucking haircuts. Elliot looks like he once had long hair, decided to give himself a bowl cut without the aid of a mirror, and gave up partway through.

Kayden Nguyen
Kayden Nguyen

This is actually true. I'm from /monster/, I only come here for this thread and the occasional facepalming of news in the western comic industry. I love these threads so much, it's like a refuge from a storm. Consistent bad comics, and anons providing more humor than I can ask for. Plus, it's so interesting to read what jeph has done, and all the shit he hasn't done. It's just fun to be here.

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Robert Richardson
Robert Richardson

Just like said, I mostly browse /v/ and boardhop around, but this is the only Holla Forums thread I always keep open.

Mason Edwards
Mason Edwards

But why would you even browse /v/? It's by far the second worst board on the site.

Jackson Scott
Jackson Scott

That sounds impressive but the worst board is several deviations out while the rest are clustered together by comparison.

Christian Russell
Christian Russell

Sorry, I should've said 2nd worst board in the top 25.

Xavier Hall
Xavier Hall

8/co/ is on some sort of death spiral
The issue is that there's no actual good new Holla Forums material to discuss, so you either get autistic circlejerks of fans of a show, or you get another thread bitching about modern comics, and both of those are shit for long term discussion.
I'd post on Holla Forumsmore if there was actually anything in comics worth talking about.

Ryder Ross
Ryder Ross

This. The board lights up when new things are coming out, but then those things wind up being shit and we stop posting about it. The only reason this thread is still around is because Jeph "A stab in the hand is worth two in the soul" Jaques is constantly putting out new garbage for us to throw on the fire. If he took a month-long hiatus, we'd shrivel up and take forever to get back to normal.

Charles Taylor
Charles Taylor

If that did happen I would dump Manage a 3, Go Get a Roomie, Between Failures, Girls with Slingshots, the Walkyverse, and all the other Relationshit comics I've been reading for years just to keep it alive.

John Anderson
John Anderson

fixed

Not him, but /v/ is still has some worth if only for the /agdg/ threads.

/monster/ has the comfiest threads; or at least it used to, I haven't been there in awhile.

There is some decent material that could be talked about, but it tends to get overlooked by the horde of those two types of threads you mentioned. Case in point being the webcomics thread, of which there are some decent ones that never get talked about much outside of occasional mentions in passing.

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Owen Reyes
Owen Reyes

reading all that shit at once
You poor soul.

the webcomics thread
I get why, but Holla Forums seems to have an aversion to webcomics in general, outside of the webcomics thread jail. If we're being honest with ourselves, not only are webcomics no worse than what Marvel currently puts out, they're actually the same thing, written and drawn by the same people, or at least the same talent level and mindset.

Noah Jones
Noah Jones

And I mean those webcomics, like this shit, Willisverse, and Sinfest, not all.

Asher Roberts
Asher Roberts

At this point I'm numb to it. Had a major lesbian fetish back in high school, but a distaste for porn without a story. Needed a fluffer to get me going.
Combine that with sheer boredom and I basically binged every Webcomic and manga, good or bad, with lesbians in it. Years later they all turned into this Shit, but they've grandfathered their way into my online itinerary at this point, going through the updates is as automatic as browsing any board on here is for me.

Colton Miller
Colton Miller

more pussyfooting A/B testing

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Thomas Johnson
Thomas Johnson

I'm straight
but I'd suck dick for the right guy I guess
If sexuality is that flexible why shouldn't Christians try to make their kids straight?

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Michael Thomas
Michael Thomas

She's super hot
I'll give you cute, but she's only been "super hot" the one time a drawfag had black ichor pouring out of her eyes and tentacles snaking into her clothes.

I couldn't find it, but this one is also good, and trawling through the archives made me miss Twitterbully

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Bentley Adams
Bentley Adams

I couldn't find it
Gotcha covered. I should probably move those to Baggyfag's folder. I was pretty drunk when I started the archive.

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Oliver Green
Oliver Green

You're doing God's work, user.

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Jose Sanders
Jose Sanders

Went back to using solid floating white circles to represent "drunk", I see.

Also don't those "no persons under 21" signs usually go on the window/door of the bar, instead of an interior wall? Informing people that they can't be in there works best before they've already been in there.

Angel Ortiz
Angel Ortiz

How does that work for robots that mature as soon as the download is complete?

Isaiah Peterson
Isaiah Peterson

Robots apparently have a specialty exempt status in laws regarding autonomy, career elegibility, and prohibited sales. It's a clear example of the robot prejudice present in the QC world, and is demonstrated by establishments bending backwards to accommodate them and having several specialty stores catering to them.

Jose Sanchez
Jose Sanchez

At least he has Clinton sitting at some drunken angles, but surely he could at least have his eyes half-shut or something?
I have demonstrated before that the only difference between sobriety and rat-ass drunk in QC verse is a couple of bubbles above the head.

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