Getting paid from the first job I've ever had on Thursday

End of the summer is the longest I'll wait.

No wonder you want to kill yourself, with shit taste like that.

It wasn't TERRIBLE like they said back in '08 user. It's playable, you just have to find the charm in it

Why would you want to kill yourself? If you feel that your life is worthless, join the military so that you can at least die for your country like a true man.

Then I might just die painfully. Also who are you to tell someone what to do with their life?

You should be able to complete the ones I posted long before then, on a proper difficulty.
There's also Mount & blade warband, Duke nukem 3d, Shadow warrior, Max Payne 1 & 2, Carmageddon, Trine, Saints Row 2 modded with the gentlemen of the row fix, just cause 2 and a whole bunch I'm forgetting.

All these you should be able to finish within a month, except maybe mount & blade depending on what you define as completed.

If he lives in the west, joining the military won't let him die for his country, though he may die for Israel.

Hell is forever

What if he's God?

Burunyanman: Hardcore if you like Shmups.

Yeah and Israel is our greatest ally.

RPG:
Go play Morrowind GOTY edition and try FF9 its very good.

ACTION:
Dota 2 Overthrow game mode under the Arcade tab is is very fun and addictive if you are in the mood for instant action..

SIM
Startopia is a fun little sim from the early 00's that is easy to get into, and SimCity 4 is great once you get into it.

RTS:
Age of Empires II with its expansion is some best rts you will play, I just play single player skirmish against AI.

...

VTMB is a must

Also, make your suicide something funny, like leave cryptic notes all over you place and dump random flash drives in certain locations with hidden messages so the police can waste their time on your death

I could think of a better way to spend my final moments, but I know a chickenshit like you would never do it because you are too much of a pussy.

you should visit Bethesda HQ, OP. I think that will cheer you up. They make Quality Games!

I beat VTMB long ago, I didn't think that counted.

I don't feel M&B can be completed because I consider completed in that game to be taking over the entire map.

Israel is anti saud
and anti eu because they weren't put at the top
A half baked christian is still a friend.

I cannot think of anything greater than playing video games before I kill myself. Maybe listening to some music or something, but I can do both at once.

Nope, they both support the same terrorists and they both have the same enemies. Saudi Arabia is also ruled by the House of Saud who are descended from a group of nomadic Jewish merchants.

Even if Israel and Saudi Arabia weren't buddies, Israel would still be worse than the Saudis. Bigger threat and far more influence in the west.

Last of all, religion is worth nothing; Africa and South America are full of Christians, and they are mudskin filth.

Should be doable.

Also play Dark Messiah, and if you have a controller, road rash, devil may cry 3 & 4 and star wars pod racer

going on a raping spree
cooking the most delicious pie ever known to man
making your own speakers and subsequently blowing them out playing niggerrap
going in the "10 items or less" lane with 11 lanes

supposed to be 11 items

oh well, time to kill myself

Jail. Disabled you from killing yourself on your terms

Requires natural skill and talent, takes years to learn.

Jail.

Everyone does that

I'd rather watch Anime or play a VN, for it is in those times that I don't exist. The concept of "I" itself ceases to be as my soul fragments into an infinite number of slices of infinitesimally small width the integral of which is "I", and I peer deep into that 2D world beyond this one. I live only to peer into that bright shining world again and again, as many times as I can.

nigger get a cookbook, it literally tells you exactly what to do in exact quantifiable detail. you know what, hang yourself

You could grab a gun and kill as many niggers as you can before they shoot you down.

muh nigg…
i hope you pirate that shit, user.

you said the best ever known to man, which means you could immediately insert it into a contest and win money with it. You didn't say "copy the best known pie in the world"

Of course

I'm just another man with a different outlook on life than you. Nothing more, nothing less.
If you really feel like killing yourself, you wouldn't hesitate and would have done it already.

I'm not going to preach to you about how if you kill yourself you'll be missing out on life, because all of us know that life can be an unbearable hell at times. But if all you aim for in life is to blow your brains out as soon as you get your first job then you've set the bar pretty fucking low for yourself.

I graduated high school with a guy whose goal in life was to work a cash register, and he has more ambition than you do.

remember if you stick it in your mouth it will likely just blow out your spinal cord leaving you not dead but suffering immensely until you eventually die of blood loss. Might not be such a problem for a shotgun thought because the shockwave of the blast might destroy your brain though. Make sure you go under the chin upwards if you do however I'd recommend at least killing a bunch of nigger first.

Failed out of colege at 20, had buig dreams. Tried to recover, kept hope. I put every oppurtunity to succeed in front of myself. I tried to talk to and make friends with successful people to hook me up (they didn't even like me), i re-entered college (still didnt have work ethic for it), I tried to learn new skills like Java and C++ and got certifications(didn't help at all), and I even entered lotteries (didnt win).

ANYWAYS Holla Forums isn't my blog. I jsut wanted you guys to know I'm on a time limit, so maybe I could get games that don't take too long. So far you've obliged. Thanks for that

personally, I always wanted to go out with leaving people going "what the fuck"

My idea was is going to a 2 story high building, making a noose with very strong but think wire(nearly invisible) getting industrial super glue and gluing my hands to my head and jumping off the building, I'm hoping that the wire would be thin and strong enough to behead me cleanly while my hands stay glues to my head, that way when the cops or some passerby comes by they'll think I ripped my head from my body.

no, you're very wrong. Aiming for the medulla around the spinal cord is instant death. What you're saying is how people get disfigured.

Nice try user.

Use helium gas if you want to an hero. It's painless, and you'll just pass out and die due to lack of oxygen. (Suffocation only hurts due to build-up of carbon dioxide in your lungs.)
Honestly though if you want to die, please get help and/or find somebody who cares. You can add me on Steam if you need somebody to talk to. I understand the wanting of death and it saddens me to see other people in the same boat. I'm not even fucking kidding, add me if you feel the need, I'm here for a chat:

steamcommunity.com/id/malignantcancer

But if you really do want to die, play these regardless of the stigma attached to them (some of these you need to emulate):

I know it's a shit list, but it's all I can pick right now as I'm kind of drunk and don't even know what I like.

if you're really gonna do it, tell us what name to look for and in which newspaper's obituaries section we should look at.

when i decide to kill myself i'll do the same

Play Harvest Moon so you can know what it would have been like to live a comfy life in the countryside with a family.
Are you going to use buckshot or a slug?

nice b8 m8 i r8 8/8

What the fuck were you thinking?

Look in Huntsville, AL

I've already got a friend of seven years ready to announce my death to everyone on my skype/steam list, and right before I pull the trigger I'll give him the contact info for my family to let them know too.

I'm pretty fucking stoked tbh. Nothing is getting better for me, the world, or my hobbies, so this week I will possess the power to opt out painlessly.

If my setup doesnt work, it'll go very poorly

You could try and take a nigger or a very important kike down with you.

Don't just opt out like that dude. Go down with a bang, you know? Be that guy who takes down a very terrible person like Glenn Beck.

P.S. I don't condone any violent acts and this is all just comedy.

don't be a faggot

Nigga you should get yourself a shotgun and shoot yourself

Slug

Yeah even if I didn't fail and got straight As I'd still not have a job. You get a job out of college by being hyper social like most normalfags and having friends/contacts on tab to offer you a job or put your foot in the door.

I majored in physics btw. As arrogant as it sounds, the content was easy to understand to me, but no matter how easy it is to me to understand I wont actually know how a magnetic cyclotron works unless I actually study.

...

okay

don't be a faggot

It's easy to understand the words you're typing since I understand english, but if you wrote three paragraphs and I was too lazy to read it and I was given an exam on what you said, would I pass? No.

That's what I meant.

It sucks that you're thinking about this, but you are free to do whatever you please. I'll see what happens in a week in Huntsville.

LISA: the painful

Saudis are muslims you faggot retard.

I have a bad feeling abut that title.

that's been flying across the internet for a while now. are you saying you actually made that "meme"?

and since we're sharing, my idea was to just carve weird cult-like symbols into the parquetry at my feet and put a stencil on the wall behind me so that when i'd blow my head off with a shotgun or something like that (i'd need a nice spray which means i'd have to use something that would really blow my head off), it'd draw a picture in my blood behind me and the rest of the blood that would spill from my corpse would fill up the carvings in the parquetry so it'd look super freaky to anyone who walks in on it.

didn't realize that was a thumbnail transcription:

"If you wanna go out in a wacky way, here you go.

BONUS POINTS
"

Try shadow of the colossus.

Well last time I shared that idea was years ago on a tor forum talking about suicide, since my teenage years was nothing but spending time in tor.

Would it be possible to convince you to NOT kill yourself?

best way to off yourself is exit bag.
balloon time has diluted their helium so don't use that brand.
see you on the other side.

I mean nothing said by anyone ITT will change your mind, and you seem to just be a pussy faggot anyway so nothing of value will be lost. Best of luck and see you in Hell, user.

Unless I win the lottery or get a gf, it's highly unlikely.

beat it

Argon is probably better. And you're probably right but the setup is so expensive. I have the peaceful pill book

What?

Oh and Subnautica with the end goal of reaching the bottom of the ocean is my recommendation.

wow, that's a good one. why does no one end up doing these things.

woah, nice. if that's true, i guess it's kind of like i'm talking to a celebrity right now. first time i heard someone tell your idea was probably around 2010 on halfchan.

So money or sex?

yep

That seems like fairly base aspirations.

Nigger, I'm a hopeless NEET myself, and even I know that girls are easy as shit. Depending on your existing social skills, or at least skill in imitating them, you could have sex by the end of the week if you really tried. If you're putting a gf on the same level as winning the lottery, then you haven't valued them correctly.

It's a touching story about a father who is trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter.

Money does buy happiness, despite what some salty sad sacks may have told you

I want video of you offing yourself, or it never happened.

Money can buy you the active state of being-at-work in a way in which your desires are aligned with the most immutable qualities?

I have. They have rejected me. I'm not funny, I'm not witty, and I'm not socially adept. Please let's not go down this road, you and I both know that not all men can easily get a gf.

Hell, just the other day at work a fat pudgy girl said "ew" when a guy made a sexual joke involving us.

Holla Forums is getting dumber by the day

back then suicidefags would off themsleves for us on live streams without any attention whoring

smh fags
you need to play ALL the games on this list.
ALL OF THEM.
at least, that is what i am planning to do.

Sex isn't even that good, it's like masturbation but terrible.
Don't kill yourself over this shit, it's not worth it.

It's not my fault normalfags are getting upset that I want to die. Christ is it impossible to add a bit of character and backstory to posts now? Would you rather me start a thread about yet another flavor of the month AAA trash title?

bitch you are full of shit

No, I would rather you stick a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger.

With pics.

A gf would just give me the check I need and the confidence I need that someone likes me. With someone constantly checking on me, I'd make sure to never fail whenever possible so I don't look liek a loser to them.

This should do me wonders. Thank you. I guess /thread if no one else has anything to recommend.

Yeah OP I bet your parents will be glad to arrange your funeral and watch you get buried as you're such a failure in their eyes.

And it's a place of work, not the fucking school yard. Tell those two guys to suck your dick. If they get worse then just file a complaint with the hire ups and get their asses fired for disrupting workplace productivity. As for the girl, so what? 99% of people passively hate their co-workers. Live with it heehee and move on.

Where the fuck do you live that you only just now had to get a job and all of that money is going to your suicide? Sounds like you have it made. If you had any sense at all you'd save up and buy yourself a whore. And don't make me laugh by saying you're above that cos muh pride when you claim you're going to off yourself.

Play JSR before you die, by the way.

You could download the entire library of snes games and mame games and just play random games that sound fun.

I've read that studies found money does buy happiness, up to a certain point, which at the time (late 2000s) was around $72,000, since that's the point at which every basic need is consistently taken care of with room to spare. I have no idea about the validity of these studies, and that number has surely gone up due to inflation, but it's supposedly a thing. It's bullshit that it's a number which can never be reached by most people.

Seconding EYE and stressing LISA again.

Have a nice ride.

The most normalfag thing I've heard all day and I spent the day around normalfags.

You speak like getting a job is easy at all, when it isnt. Possible, yes. Easy? Not in the most remote sense of the word.

Not goign to jail.

I beat it on my Dreamcast. You have to go deeper.

pics or it didnt happen
just kidding please dont kill yourself

Can't do anything right, can you? Even in your death you're a complete failure.

I know a guy who got offered a 60k/yr job that he said he wasn't qualified for right out of college, just because he knew his friend's dad.

Why would it matter anyways, he's gonna be dead.

At least he'll will find out which religion had the right of it.

...

I think I see why you're killing yourself

hopefully none of them and religion truly is just humanity trying to cope with unknowns. Even if the ancient greeks were right I'd be screwed.

Suffering is an important part of life fag, a life free of suffering just creates SJWs. Instead of killing yourself now, why don't you wait until WW3 starts and die on the battlefield like a man?

Suffering pointlessly with no growth or positive outcome is meaningless and animalistic. If you want to suffer 24/7 like a "reel man" go out in the wild and survive on your own.

We have civilization for a reason.

If you're a bitch.
Not with yours, given that with whatever freedom you did have you squandered it to become such a miserable failure.
What part of "kill yourself before capture" didn't you get?

How many more excuses are you going to make before you realize the only reason your life is fucked up is you?

You're right. That's even more motivation. Thanks.

I'm very aware. Since I'm lazy with no work ethic, I'll never succeed. It's over. Yet you want me to live for some reason.

...

I'm suggesting you at least do something right in your pathetic life. You lack the work ethic to go innawoods, you apparently value your freedom too much to give it up in the service of your country/God despite knowing that you've completely squandered it thus far, and you're apparently too much of a bitch to go out in a blaze of glory because "I might go to jail :(". I'm wondering if you even have the balls to off yourself at all.

boy, you sure are mean

...

So I should have ignored all the questions then?

why are you still living please fucking kill yourself you weebcuck faggot

If you didn't want attention and just wanted game recommendations then you wouldn't have mentioned suicide. You had to have known how that would look. You could have made some shit up about quitting vidya forever, or moving to some mud hut with no electricity, or many other stories. But no, you had to talk about killing yourself. You wanted some attention.

People like you are the reason he wants to die.

RIP user. I recommend emulating some Mega Man before you go.

DO IT FAGGOT

You don't need money to kill yourself faggot. Way to be a wagecuck for nothing.

System Shock 1 and 2. Masters of The Urqan

A shotgun blast through the back of your head would obliterate your brain stem and instantly and painlessly kill you, and shotguns aren't free. You'll need about $100 to buy a shitty used single barrel 12g from a pawn shop, and ~$8 for a box of buckshot from walmart.

Yeah, some random faggot online questioning them on what they said is the reason, it's not shit like this that they already talked about. Fuck off.

Nigger, that's pretty much my exact story except instead of killing myself, I tried and failed to become a police officer, then became a teacher with no credentials instead. Man up.

You couldn't tell I was joking?

I bet you watch twitch camwhores ironically too.

You just need to try again. Everyone fails. If you really need a boost focus on your anger/hatred. But be warned don't let it consume you.

Or alternatively just don't eat anything. The fasting will give you time to think about stuff, you're almost guranteed to change your mind. If not you die.

shit list.

wait nevermind, I caught it

im a dumbass

Why do you need money to kill yourself? Just stop eating and drinking, and wander off into the woods to die. It's literally cheaper than being alive.

If you really wanted to die, you'd be dead already, you attention-seeking faggot.

Mgs2
its 20 hours and has a story to contemplate on in the afterlife

This is now on my desktop to remind me to check you shitty little town's obituaries daily. If you kill yourself, I'll know.

But I don't think you'll kill yourself. I think you're either an attention whore using the suicide story to get your shitty thread off the ground, or a spineless faggot who won't have the guts to pull the trigger at the moment of judgement and will just keep on living their shitty life until they end up some raving degenerate on the street.

Don't worry reddit, this is an anonymous imageboard. I once jokingly said I adopted a daughter because it was kinky how she called me daddy and got away with it.

What part in Coonsville do you live?

Which is better?

A generic thread topic, with the added mention of suicide is a good way to turn the entire thread to something about yourself instead of thread topic. This is about as trivial as that girl in high school who absolutely wanted a boyfriend or she'd off herself.

That's my comment on the thread.

Post a pic of your dick to leave behind as your legacy

Even if you die your dick will live on in our hearts and in our folders

...

Yeah but let's face it, you don't actually want to kill yourself you pussy

Because if they were capable of putting that much effort into anything they wouldn't be killing themselves.

Wow you're a faggot.

I hope you fuck up your suicide and end up paralyzed and in extreme pain.

blow yourself up with a rucksack bomb
youtube.com/watch?v=lDP_UfJIRms

You're not gonna kill yourself.

Be sure to record and post on >>>Holla Forums the stream link your death

This tbph. And if you really want to make a difference, blow up all, if not many, of the Banks Datacenters. You'd do the world a difference.

Actually, if the faggot is serious about suicide, post your address.

I wanna do something to you before you go. You have nothing to lose.

this is what I will do if I don't make it.

this is also partly true, people who really want to off themselves wouldn't talk about it like that.

Yeah, shame on him for not being a pawn or doing things that would amuse you instead of just going with the most possible comfort and safety.

Helium would be my method of choice. What sucks is that aside from being a useless piece of shit I get really anxious and upset when I catch myself actually considering taking my life and I just wanna lay in bed more.

If you really wanna kill yourself then how can you focus on games OP? You mention being excited but isn't it still a distraction? Are you hoping to get so pissed at a game you literally kill yourself?

Also do you plan on leaving a message for us all when you do it?

Why'd you even mention you were going to kill yourself unless you were making a thread to get attention.

Don't kid yourself, this thread isn't about videogames.

Don't do it.

...

you are serously letting this nigga die without him playing best ys?
you all disappoint me.

also OP, make sure you don't hit anyone else with the blast. see you on the other side