And we're back to…

OH NO!

SHITPOSTING HAS CAUSED A
PARALLEL TIME CONVERGENCE
QUICK! CHECK MY REPEATING
INTEGERS

OOPS!!

Who the fuck reprogrammed the security ROBs again? They're trying to penetrate all our GB units!

Gentlemen, I have found that our research has gone exceptionally well in all fields as was expected. However there is one exception: video games. Posible hypothesis on how we can change this pattern?

Who is this semen demon?

Get your shit together, Dr. Tomatovich.
At least, it's not memes.
…Or is it?

Glass in the ass

It was far worse

I was creating a new meme called "DAT BOI" now my monkey lab assistant bobo dropped it everyone will now be infected and say "OH SHIT WUDDUP" and die a painful death..

Ive doomed us all.

...

We can't. In all universes video games are fucked.

How do you manage to keep your clumsy ass employed here

Gentlemen,

I have now officially scientifically proven (as you can see in the related Kotaku article) that masturbating to futanari on female is not gay at all and is in fact the opposite: futanari on female is objectively less gay than straight porn.
Rejoice, brothers, for we can officially masturbate without feeling disgust!

Howds de benis research going? xD :DDDD

I disagree, with my new article I prove Traps are gay, and I also prove that liking penises makes you gay if you also have a penis.

Well shit, thanks.

Now get him to quarantine zone, including his monkey.

Pure baseless conjecture, it has already been proven by the Zionist Institute that there's no link between homosexuality and liking dicks.

This is why nobody takes our research seriously. We waste all of our funds and manpower on dicks instead of making our vidya waifus real.

Checked. This man is 100% right.

...

...

WE

!

Such fine numbers! Such truth! Give this man a round of applause!

WASH AWAY THE ABGER

Speaking of subhuman filth, what's the progress on the ethnic cleansing weapon of the Japanese?

(checked)
That's it. Focus on this research.
But before that, you should come to checking bay.

WHO LET THE NIGGER IN
HE'S SCRIBBLING ALL OVER MY SHIT

No one listen to these frauds.

Holla Forums is a terrible resource when it comes to sexual matters. Most of these people have never even been touched by a girl, nevermind had sex with one. Why do you think they're called Holla Forumsirgins!?

Us and everyone else on the planet. That doesn't make them authentic researchers! A paper on them regarding traps and fetishes is as useful as an IGN review score.

The only credentials Holla Forums has are on videogames, and so you should only even consider a Holla Forums thesis if it's about videogames.

My current research indicates that your waifu is a whore and that you have shit taste in women.

will pretend to be qt grill for job pls

I have found the porn industry shill. Shoo shoo, STD-ridden Jew, your filthy moneyrgubbing 3DPD-loving antics are not welcome in this sacred place of science and logic. Guards, escort this man out at once!

How dare you assume zis's gender, don't you know it's 2016? Guards, arrest this miscreant for the crime of misgendering a snowflake.

...

This thread is reaching critical levels of autism

SHUT IT DOWN
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT IT DOWN

Huh. I think you research is made up.
You see, i don't possess waifu yet.
But as shit taste… Not sure, if xenophilic counts at shit taste. Should make some research on that later.

Right now i'm trying to research a game to satisfy Holla Forums.

not today, high sparrow.

Let me guess, second day on the job?

Your doctorate is as respectable as Jim Sterling's! Out! I have vidya to research!

Intresting image you have there user. I dont think I have seen a gorilla reach such high levels of intelligence that allowed him to adopt british customs. Just what have you been feeding him?

Warning to all personnel!
Patient T0dd is escaped!
Warning
Material L (disease ID: I,IŁ,II,I_) is became unstable!
Warning
Do not approach anyone who claim "girls with dick is not boys". Let the security staff handle them!
Warning

I've made a scientific discovery that will change the fate of this thread, this board and mankind.

It's called Excubitor and I can't help enjoying it so damned much.

magnet:?xt=urn:btih:741F760544A738854BF2CF1A4F4A1C19941C5E2E&dn=excubitor+codex&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Ftracker.coppersurfer.tk%3A6969%2Fannounce&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Fglotorrents.pw%3A6969%2Fannounce&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Ftracker.openbittorrent.com%3A80%2Fannounce&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Ftracker.opentrackr.org%3A1337%2Fannounce

What other "discoveries" have you made, researcheranons?

Good news everyone! I've invented a machine that will exterminate every SJW on the planet!

Look! I've discovered repeating numerals.

Your numbers check out.
We need to fund this man's project.

Bad news everyone, I accidentally set it to Holla Forums mode and it exterminated the Jews instead.

Does it also include Muslims? It's useless otherwise.

God damn it, Farnsworth

I belive there is much implications in your statement professor. I for one have tired of our coleugue sheckelburg exploiting our research for financial gain. Though their actions were extreme, Holla Forums has done us and the world a good turn.

...

the greatest things in science are made by accident, professor

Unfortunately, while my team has put forth considerable effort in categorizing and researching incidents of "meme magic", we are still no closer to actively inducing or controlling this phenomenon.

In completely unrelated news, all the executives of EA, Valve and Bethesda simultaneously died.

...

Don't worry, I found them.

Herr Doctor, i represent a very powerful group which is… quite interested in you new invention.

We want ot use this machine to make our world a "better" place. With your brain and this machine we could end our world struggle and make our future bright once for all.
We offer you unlimited resources and plenty room to… improve this technology for the… better.

Herr Doctor, this is an offer which i think you should ==NOT== refuse.

I don't listen to Hip-hop.

Pardon, you have something on your mustache.
Also, are you trying to bribe our head scientist?

That's very unfortunate doctor…

Sadly we always get what we want.

one way or another

Sure, if you can get past my Albino Shouting Gorillas.

If Farnsworth is busy helping shady megalomaniacs, he can't play videogames with me!
No deal!

Gentlemen maybe our offer wansn't enough… generous?

How about some secret Fallout 4 Season Pass for the problem solving machine?

Young gentlemen like this kind of things. Right?

Who ate the last doughnut?

Quick Dr. Farnsworth, accept his offer or he'll make you play Fallout 4!

As part of admini– Er, watcher team, we REFUSE to give out scientist to any other party. Also, fallout 4 is shit. Try something else.

Might be my crow, sorry.

Fry you idiot, if I accept his offer, he'll -make- me play Fallout 4! Now get out of my lab. I'm working on the Finglonger.

I bet it was this new guy, Fremann or something, quiet and seems like an asshole

Mighty Nr. 9 as a gratis!
This is our last offer you little degenerate piece of shits, disgusting tranny loving faggots!

Attention all Holla Forums research facility employees.

The catgirl breeding grounds are not a petting zoo. Nor are they your personal whorehouse. I've recieved numerous reports of the catgirls giving birth to children whose DNA reports tell me that our employees are the fathers. If this behavior keeps up I'm restricting the breeding grounds to authorized personnel only and posting armed guards at the entrances.

On another note, work activity has been down the past few months and I've figured out why. According to the security camera footage most of you spend your work hours playing video games. I don't pay you fucks to sit around playing video games all day. Get back to work.

Also if I find out who keeps borrowing my stapler without asking I'm going to break your fucking arms.

I hope he didn't notice the secret vent entrances

Okay, that's it.
Get out or we are calling in not only guards, but Holla Forums-tan as well.
He might be playing or shitposting, however…

Nigga, you gay.

(damn your dubs)
ENOUGH!

I WILL GET THE JEW KILLING ROBOT EVEN IF I NEED TO SLAUGHTER EVERY DEGENERATE IN THIS SHITHOLE!

HEIL HYDRA!

Good news everyone! I've discovered that

I thought it had enough heads to not choose shitty games…
I was wrong.

You little fags betray our future…

…for what?

…videogames…

Don't worry, everyone! Science team has just made a fresh new invention that's perfect for stopping this madman! Behold!

TUUUUUBES!

Well, today was tough day. Cleaning team report to northern hall.
As for me, i need a fucking break. New head will arrive soon or later. I hope he will be more competent than me.

Alright, lemme just…

Holy shit.

Oh man, I gotta try that!

not that

this

well, maybe both

Better than wasting my time with video games.

Gonna get me some catgirl before the new security regimen shows up

Distilling Liquid Autism via Mine craft has been proven difficult, the results we are getting are not what we had originally predicted
In other news We have a over load of Mountain Dew in variety of flavors Like screaming Russian and Cool Ranch

Don't you dare trying to borrow the boss' stapler.

I'm detecting abnormally high gay levels across the board, we might be experiencing some kind of containment breach.

I'm sorry, doctor. Could you repeat yourself? Some asshole cut you off mid-sentence.

woah hey look at that

...

ALERT ALERT
Reddit has infiltrated the facility and is attempting to steal our Autism Power Generator
ALERT ALERT
This is not a drill! Infiltrator shows all signs of Reddit.
ALERT ALERT
Identify him by his stale memes such as dickbutt and mountain dew and doritos

Apprehend and eliminate at all costs!

HO HO HO

RED ALERT
I GET DOUBLES AGAIN
:^)

Everything is perfectly normal, return to your station

The memetics department is getting really unsubtle.

Just don't overdo it like the last time, we don't want a repeat of Kurôzu-cho.

"Employees" or "employee"? I've been around the park, if you know what I mean.

This reminds me, the Snake/Human DNA splicing project has been a huge success, expect a full commercial release within 5~10 years. Mainly thanks to our Chinese investors, I dare say in the beginning I found myself doubtful about the source of their funds, but that matters little now. We have made huge successes in the last 12 months thanks to their money.

Specimen M1-1A is now learning how to prepare edible meals with standard household ingredients and implements, she hasn't shown much progress, but I believe she will in due time. In other matters, the subject still dislodges her jaw and swallows her food without chewing, though, I suppose these kinds of behaviors are to be expected.

She is also fond of coiling her snake half around researchers/guarding personnel in constant displays of affection, these kinds of behaviors are to be encouraged for research purposes. It has been 10 days and 7 hours since the last "accident". We are expecting a prompt recovery from Researcher Jenkins, he got 3 ribs broken from one of her displays of affection. The subject M1-1A showed remorse and shame of her actions, though.

Progress on the aquatic seamen gun is cumming along nicely. I'm having a bit of trouble picking the best cocking mechanism, but it should have the penetration power requested by our eastern investors before they are scheduled to rape nanking again.

HOL UP HOL UP

How long does the average catgirl pregnancy last?

Who the fuck locked the catgirl breeding grounds, I'm horny as shit

BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS
After years of meticulous research, we have finally discovered the answer to one of life's fundamental problems. The data, collected over many years, was recently finally analyzed in-depth by the world's finest, and we have now formed a conclusive theory. I'm sure everyone here will be glad to learn that fucking a trap is not gay, and we'll be presenting a report with this information for public disclosure soon. The whole world will finally know the truth!

Here it is
Futa on Female, No Balls:
Not gay, but kinda weird (lesbian porn with strap-ons)
Futa on Female, Balls:
Sorta gay
Solo Futa:
Gay
Futa + Anything else, with or without balls
Gay

My research on Traps is also in direct contrast to the lab member above me, but I'll give a full report on that at some later date.

How about sucking one? This is a serious question. Or if it's a threesome with her twin?

the Holla Forums Shit Lake Dam Facility
don't lose your paddle in the creek!

...

...

Was getting me to fap a part of your plan?
It worked

This is sec1 a group of cat girls ran form sec2 wat do

Boy, I fucking *love* research

Just open a can of catfood and transmit it through the intercom ASAP.
That'll get em back.

Remember, catgirls left unattended for more that 12 hours become feral.

One way to quickly and successfully disabling them (I'm talking about 98.798635% success rates, scientifically proved by our researchers from sec3) is to perform headpats and ear-rubs.

Do so until more help arrives.

Impressive. Very nice.

BRETHREN

It has come to my illustrious attention that we are severally crippled in terms of magical research.
I require at least five volunteers for some interesting experiments.
More importantly, however, who stole my grimoire?

ACHTUNG, MEIN KOMRAT!
I have created a serum zat has the ability to cure negroness

Behold!

Congratulations, you invented a skin dye.

a children's show host and a nigger who hasn't done any research

the go to science people

what is this world coming to

fucking millennials

Ze argentine vill love it!

BEGONE, FOUL DEMON-SPAWN

RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HADES BEFORE YOU GIVE THE ARGENTINIANS LICENSE TO SPREAD THEIR GENES

GET THESE TRIPS SOME FUNDING

Hey Holla Forums I gotto take the tan back to my dorm real quick, can you guys keep an eye on this nuclear warhead for me while I'm gone? Thanks! I knew I can trust you bros! I'll just be a couple minutes!

This is cuckchan cancer which destroyed Holla Forums there, it is also a goon/SJW tactic to get people to leave so they can take over.

Reported, burn in hell.

WAIT! user! YOU FORGOT YOUR BIG RED BUTTON- oh well he's already gone, I'm sure its nothing, hmm… I wonder what it does…

Guys, who let the faggit out of the test chamber?

GET BACK, HE'S VOLATILE

We'll have to quarantine this wing of the facility to stop the spread of its turbo-AIDS

LOOK AT THAT MAN WITH A DICKNOSE, HE MUST BE A JEW, GET HIM

...

I was fucking gone for a day and you lads already made mess.
Nevertheless, i want research report.

How's the doubles experiment coming along Jacques?

Professor Bate keep trying to check them. There's some progress, but most of time it is off by one.

Thank you Jacques, I think I'll have to rework a few algorithms, and surely we'll have something interesting then.

And Hans, how are your catgirls coming along?

Quite well on that front sir, just please don't open the door…

Ok Hans, I'll leave you with some privacy then.

it's a hologram

It's

Greetings organics, I come from the /clang/ building of the compound.

In a research to create a new prosthetic immunte to butthurt I accidentaly gave myself a new anus, the problem is that we don't actually have a toilet, can I use yours?

But mister robot man, What do you even excecrate out of your anus since you're not even organic (excluding your new anus)?

Yeah, but always lock the door!
The indian memebers of the team always try to sabotage our toilets.

And please don't publish you shit as a AAA game. Thank you!

What the hell is this retarded thread

What the hell is this retarded monkey that stole Prof. Bate's dubdub?

...

Erm, professor Bate? It's seems somebody stole your double dubs. No, he forgot about sage, i will provide one ASAP.

They're cops, aren't they?

that's a kind of doubles i guess

A particularly resilient form of cancer.

So THAT'S what happened to the research director!

do you have the wemb?