Hilariously Awful Moments in Comics

Remember when Spider-Man killed Mary Jane with his radioactive cum?

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Why didn't it turn her into a Spider-Girl?

Remember when Superman gave Wonder Woman a jar of his spunk in case she needed to repopulate the world?

How would that even work? Do they use a turkey baster to get it out and distribute it?

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Remember the entirety of Justice League: The Rise of Arsenal?

The last pic had me laughing. Imagining the awkward silence that followed brings a smile to my face.

…..WELL?

I don't see what is wrong with 2nd and 3rd pic.

If I recall, due to Jews, God went mad and starting eating everyone in heaven as whathisface discovered.

That was from Devon Grayson's Nightwing run. The context is that Nightwing is incapacitated and Tarantula, Devon Grayson's insert, rapes him.

It's hilarious because Devon Grayson kept saying it wasn't rape, when it's clearly rape, and instead kept calling it "non-consensual sex", which is the definition of rape.

Nightwing has been raped something like 12 times, and that's not counting all the other sexual assaults.

Truly, he is /ourbat/.

didn't the guy who did pic 4 ad 1 get arrested for cp?

this sounds like preacher

I want smut about superjizz impregnation now.

Nah, that was John Byrne. He's a faggot company man that accepts marvel fucking him in the arse, but he's not been arrested to my knowledge.

I meant pic one for this one. Wasn't there a thread of people looking at his past works found a lot of kind of creepy non sexual child and adult interaction.

Jesus Christ….

John said trannies were the same as pedos and both were mentally ill, and most pedos aren't self-hating, instead trying to justify it.

He drew Reed Richards clearly getting flustered by a twelve year old Sue.

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Wait, nevermind. Found a quote by John in which he said it's totally cool to jerk off to 11 y/olds as long as you don't try to penetrate them.

byrnerobotics.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35811&TPN=4

You mean do people remember Cry for Justice, Rise of Arsenal, Villains for Hire and the Titans runs where the leader was Slade?

That was JLA: Created Equal, an awful Elseworld where a disease kill all males on Earth except Superman and Lex Luthor

What's the issue with being a pedophile if all you do is jackoff to loli doujins and know never to do anything about it in real life. It's impossible to get actual help for being a pedo in the current state of things.

I don't care if someone jacks off to a loli doujin, but there's no safeguard preventing them from going off the deep end and touching an actual child.
Even those sexdolls both sides are getting worked up over confuse me. Will a pedophile use them and be sated, or will the relative experimentality of them make them more intrigued in finding a real child that is more life-like that they were before using the doll?

All fetishes share some things in common, and I've noticed that people go down a slippery slope when it comes to them. You go from mild spanking to bondage to guro, or from large tits to huge tits to tit expansion.
That's not to say that it will happen, but if it can happen at any point in any person, there's a problem.

well, what's your suggestion?

Don't expose people who can't control their vices to extreme content.
Vanilla all the way, maybe hand holding once in a while, but no more.

Loli porn actually is shown to help people and pedos from going too far. Yes, every fetish is a dangerous thing you can go too far with. But it's all about willpower and separating fantasy from reality. It's okay to look at loli porn. It's not okay to look at CP. There's degrees to everything that takes it too far that you shouldn't go near. All you have to do is just have some damn self control.

Should we outlaw Punisher comics because it's basically vigilante justice porn and will make people go out and start gunning down people?

Death camps, of course.
Though seriously, there's no true solution.
We don't have the ability to suppress the urges, or even limit them, and it'd be morally incorrect to kill someone because they like something you don't.

Maybe Star Trek holodecks would do it, but I feel that allowing that would just lead to more and more bizarre and dangerous fetishes to develop.
Just think about when the US "legalised" (to the state's discretion) gay marriage. That same day, Buzzfeed, Gawker and their ilk posted articles advocating bestiality and pedophilia. If you give an inch, people keep going.


[citation needed]
But where do those boundaries start and end? By the majority of society? Because the majority is disgusted by loli doujins.


Sounds like shit, tbh.

The line is crossed on how depraved it is. Like bondage is fine but guro is too far. Loli is fine but buying a child like sex doll is too far. CP, viewing or making, is off the deep end completely.

This is being taken the wrong way. I was think of people who were drug addicts not being able to keep it in check.

But who decides what is depraved?
I don't like bondage on any level, yet it is seen as normal in society today, and there are others who see it completely opposite.


Jerking off to a doujin once a week isn't the same as a drug hit. One is a much more physical reaction from the body. Your body will not go into shock if you don't beat your meat.

I guess writers dont know how radiation works?

Naturally it's subjective. But you really have to look at things from an objective standpoint of just how deprave something really really is. Which is admittedly a little difficult with something like fetishes where so many are in the gray.

Why tho. It's just a piece of silicone.

Why tho. It's just a piece of merchandise.

Right. Let's take away the porn. That'll reduce the amount of sexual assaults.
psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201601/evidence-mounts-more-porn-less-sexual-assault

Yeah, there's probably no way to conclusively end abuse of any kind, but you can optimize society for minimum rape and paedophilia. Eugenics is a large part of the answer, as always.


What, you think I'd actually stick my dick in brain? I wouldn't even stick my dick in ass, it's too disgusting, though I'll fap to either.
And I'd still have to be a complete sociopath to live with it, which I'm entirely certain that I'm not. It's just not worth it.

That's when it can go into slippery territory. It's not bad but be aware of the risk. Even just the risk that could come from ordering such a thing.


I'm just listing examples of what can be too far.

Remember when Norman fucked Gwen?

Specter served a guy who burned food during famine and enslaved his own citizens. What's he going to do if Michael says no?

YUCK.
*makes a eww face*
Nothing more CREEPY than a bunch of OLD guys watching cartoons for kids.

fuck you edgy whore

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We've missed you, /sp/

Just use less lube.

Well done.

Welcome back guys.

Pedofags really do try to justify themselves in the stupidest ways.

Congrats.

Throw a tantrum in a pit of fire.

first Aunt May in the 60s and now this

user…

I Hate this bitch so much

Lex Luthor canon spanked it to 15 year old Lois Lane being strip searched.

Writer: John Byrne.

Weren't the Next Men canonically all born from forcibly impregnated 12 year old girls?

And yet it wasn't Byrne who was busted for CP. Who was it? Wasn't it one the big 90's writers?

Why does Reed look like Yoshikage Kira?

Goblin spunk.

If they were using Aunt May's condoms, they couldn't have been very good if she's Peter's mother.

I really surprised no on posted nu-marvel pages. I'm actually sort of proud of all of you.

Gerard Jones! That was it.
I'm not terribly familiar with Jones' oeuvre. 20/20 hindsight, was there anything creepy in his work, like no pants Power Pack or whatever?

This is Chris-Chan level of dialogue right here.

Was there any particular reason why Tommy Lee Jones is Norman Osborne.

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A comic so bad it was retconned twice in less than five years.

The Northstar gay issue.
Not so much the gay thing, although Scott Lobdell shouldn't have got the rainbow brownie points for that when it was John Byrne's idea.

It's the whole concept of writing an entire issue of a comic about a flying Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman trying to smash an AIDS dumpster baby with his bare hands.

I mean, that whole idea is just so Mark Millar.

hello linkara.

I was wondering if you guys remeber this about Jimmy Olsen?

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Anyone can do that, you just need AIDS.

I cropped him out of the picture for a reason.

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Are you blind or something?

Silly, user, girls cant rape boys.

Context?

/sp/ is alive?!

/sp/ has always been alive, currently >we are on endchan.

if you want to find /sp/, always check
sportschan.org

I was just about to mention that. That page was fucking crazy and I had no idea the events preceding it, god was even eating the angels and they couldn't retaliate because "gods will".


The writer's neck must hurt from sucking his own dick so much.
Then when their periods sync up, they'll be trying to kill each other over chocolates or that shit they take for cramps.

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Oh, they are still dead…

I don't see what's wrong with 1st pic. It's a helpful ad warning parents of leaving their children alone with homosexuals.

Probably, the only bad part about it is that Spider-Man is revealed to have been raped and molested as a kid.

you really expect /sp/ to come back to jimchan?
'no'

/sp/ has bounced around from place to place but is still alive and doing well

smh tbh fam

stealing gets from dead or very slow boards is"doing well" according to you ? Is that what you call it?

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What the fuck guys?

I never actually got the context behind this one. What makes Tails getting swole retarded?

That's written by a Puerto Rican woman

The part that Tails is like that in a awful story involving a prophecy that Penders pulled from his ass.

tl;dr DESTINY!

Now if only I had a reaction image to accurately convey my emotions.

hillarious, gonna have to read it

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That was a young Aunt May in "Trouble", a story that suggested that she was Peter's biological mother, as well as being a double for Mary Jane.

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She's gonna drop her with a grip like that.

The fuck! this is recent!

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Slightly longer version: for a long-ass time Tails was built up to be a hero of an ancient prophecy that would save whatever from ultimate evil blah blah blah. This manifested in an issue where Tails merged with every version of himself across the multiverse, turned into a stronk Greek god and shot lasers out of his eyes, and fought Mammoth Mogul (an elephant Vandal Savage essentially).

And that was it. That was their "destiny." It was over and everything went back to normal.

Spider-Man's marriage to MJ during McFarlane's run. She arrives late to her own wedding by Bruce TotallynotWayne's car after spending the night and morning fucking him. I don't know why so many cucks keep defending the slut, Chat was objectively the Superior Spiderwaifu.

Wow…Dick got raped before Bruce did.


Please tell me the next page is Michael laughing his ass off and the Spectre wiping the sweat from his brow and said "Dodged a bullet there"

…fuck, I want that to happen.

…You mean Titans East, right?

We're not, everyone lves Chat.

Wait Cap got a stripper for Rick Jones?


Wow thats fucked up.

Well, well, looks like Batman wasn't prepared for that. Alternatively, it was a disaster he didn't see coming.
Or is there another panel where WW then holds up a Batman jizz container that's black and bigger than Superman's. And has little bat ears and logo on it.


The woman who wrote this is gay isn't she?

Gay in all senses of the word, except the original meaning.

Having read it, the story is actually about Lex turning all of the Super-Sons evil while Superman is in space before trying to kill all of them because fuck Kryptonians.

Hey, Cap's a bro.

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I feel I should mention that there was a stag film at Rick Jones' buck's night, and it turned out to star the bride.
I know, moar liek hilariously AWESOME.

He accepts it so much that he rage quit them and hasn't worked for them for over ten years

To add, this is what happened more or less right after

And Penders still thinks people liked this shit.

I did when I was 10.

As retarded as it was it was probably the only issue of sonic comics I ever purchased at the time. I was young and stupid. But that was probably his demographic.

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I Hate this bitch so much

The widow maker arch that Garth Ennis did in Punisher Max and it's titless rule 64 Punisher.

There was the time John Byrne had Superman make porn tapes with Big Barda, mostly to piss off Jack Kirby, because Barda was based on Kirby's wife.

I thot u ded nigger! Welcome back

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Nigga you can just put the entire later half of John Byrne's career here. The dude popped his membrane years ago.

Don't forget: all of this happened in the span of less than like two pages.

'member when Mrs. Marvel got pregnant and gave birth to a full grown man who was in love with her and she was cool with it?

Wat

Dont respond

It was an ancient and very poorly received arc, back when people still expected some level of quality control from their comics.

Carol Danvers got pregnant with a space fae dude who impregnated here so he could have a physical form in the real world and take her back to his dimension to marry her. She willing went back to him and it was treated as a happy ending and a send-off to her character.

After the writer got shitcanned, everyone on the new writing staff was like "this is fucked up" and they made it so Carol was mind controlled by the guy, So it went from "almost rape" to "definitely rape." The really fucked thing is that this retcon fit perfectly with the content of the original arc because the tone and pacing made it all seem fucking horrifying.

Afterwards, Carol was free but her emotions were heavily suppressed. She got to chew out the rest of the avengers for not realizing how fucked up everything was and they all slinked away in shame.

She got over it though, because years later while a friend was giving birth in an elevator she casually reminisced about the incident like it was that one shitty summer where you had to sleep on a friend's futon. The only time she got upset is when she realized the story was probably traumatizing her friend who was right in the middle of pushing a kid of her cunt.

COMICS!

Any time batman saves the joker

Spider-Man, Spider-Man,
Pozzes whoever a spider can
Shoots a viral load, any size,
Whoever swallows it dies
Look Out!
Here comes the Spider-Man.

Is he sick?
Listen wiz,
He's got radioactive jizz.
He can swing, from a pole
So cover up, your neg hole
Hey, there
There goes the Spider-Man.

In the chill of night
You call him up for a good time
With a squirt of white
He arrives - it's a crime.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man
Seropositive Spider-Man
Wealth and fame
He's ignored
Giftgiving is it's own reward.

To him, life is a great big gangbangin'
Standard fuckparty shenanigan
Watch out for Spider-Man.

Speaking of Batman, how about that time where Bruce just said "fuck you" to the entire Batfamily when they asked if he really murdered some chick, thus kick starting one of the most stupid and convoluted arcs in the character's entire history.

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Don't do it, Hal.

Remember when Alex Power was turned into a horse, Julie Power suddenly started looking older than her mom, their dad developed super powers and Toro Raymond appeared in the "modern" day despite being dead (and was only revived years latter in a chronologically latter event that makes no mention of his appearance here) and they all fought thinly veiled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ripoffs?

The real shame is that one of the b plots in this mess, a reformed Puppet Master's special needs son accidentally finds his old super villain gear, is actually pretty decent and would have been way better if it wasn't in such an awful arc.

He drove her to burn the coal…

Do it, Hal.

I think we all know what happened….

thought the same thing

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Classic

Christ

She must have been some women.

She was.
If I ever meet John Byrne, I shall punch him like Jim Steranko punched Bob Kane.

OP said hillariously awful. Pic 2 isn't really awful (Unless context makes it something other than just "Haha, Captain America is so out of his native time he didn't realize the woman hired for a bachelor party was a stripper") and pic 4 is just a classic silver age "comics are weird".

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Now it's perfect.

What the fuck did Kirby do to him to piss him off this much?

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I have no idea what actually happened in Way of the Warrior, but I vividly remember it all hinging on some alien chick wanting to fuck Guy Gardner.

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i would

Sorry if my memory is shaky, but did we ever do a storytime of that? Cause if not, we should.

The ones I keep seeing on these boards are either proud of their fetish or borderline retarded oblivious that what they post about is basically a crime.

Especially disgusting are comments like "Lol I wanna fuck that kid" and I wonder, whats the point? Do they mean that? Are they that proud of being creepy fucks? Are they trying to make the board look bad? Are they trying to be edgy? Are they Mexican making typical dumbass posts?

I like that loli shit myself but hell, I'm surely not gonna celebrate myself for that.
Those guys not knowing shit about what's okay or social are sick and a possible danger.

Do other countries have UK-style pedo hunters? There used to be just one, but now there's loads of them. They set up a fake Facebook profile as a kid, join a bunch of popular groups and wait for the oblivious, retarded pedos to start flirting with them, then they arrange a meetup, film it, and shove all the evidence on Youtube.
In a way, it's pedo eugenics, only the intelligent ones are going to be left outside prison.

Intelligent ones and the ones in higher positions of power with influence/money to keep them from being jailed.

I believe it's because of Howard The Duck.

In 1982, Steve Gerber, the creator of Howard, was in a lawsuit with Marvel comics over the ownership of the character. John Bryne, the corporate cocksucker he is, thought it was fucking blasphemy for him to go against his corporate overlords like that.

Kirby, on the other hand, sided completely with Gerber, even going to so far as to draw issues of Destroyer Duck to help fund the lawsuit. Gerber and Kirby even went the extra mile and created Cogburns, a thinly veiled jab at Bryne himself.

Needless to say, this pissed off the turbo autist, so when he got the chance, he struck back by making Barda a whore.

That's wrong. Steranko never punched Bob Kane.

Steranko bitch slapped Bob Kane.

Storytime when?

Pedo evolution. Unless leaving the smart ones is deliberate.

Nice. Good to see you're still around.

That's because they're delusional and now they're trying to normalize that behavior in the UK. They really do need to either get the rope or get some treatment.


Barbara turned into such a cunt. She never had any children by the time of Batman Beyond, so I wouldn't be surprised if she went full dyke-mode after fucking Bruce behind Dick's back

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Thousand eggs of cancer is the greatest thing even written.

Is that from that alternate universe comic where New York is run by a dictator and Spiderman is an old guy who comes back out of retirement and is kind of like TDKR.

(Trying this again…) How would that even work? His body would have to produce the isotopes itself, and wouldn't that require a diet of pretty heavy base elements?
Unless it's fusion radiation. Right, fusion radiation in sperm.

I thought Digital Batman was her kid.