If Holla Forums hates this film, why do you talk about it so much?

If Holla Forums hates this film, why do you talk about it so much?

Are you retarded?

People talk about the prequels more than they talk about TFA.

After the 3rd movie in this new trilogy is done people will forget about it.

We also talk about the Jews a lot.

There was more thought and artistry that went into the prequels, I think, so there is a lot more to talk about than the Disney fanfics.

George put a lot of attention to detail into these films, as he finally completed the saga he has begun in 1977. The Disney films are just rehashes of the OT, only with more diversity and a whole lot more CGI.

Hey Holla Forums lets play a game. you are in charge of directing TFA with the following caveats: the set-up (opening crawl) is the same and so are the actors. Also, all the major plot points (Starkiller, Han is killed by his son Kylo, Finn) can not be changed.

Make a better movie.

We don't talk about it that much, we talk about star wars as an entity. If you havent noticed this is the only thread about The Force Awakens in the catalog, what is there even to discuss about such a fucking copy paste of episode iv

Not a whole lot wiggle room left then. The whole premise is fucked from the beginning - you could remove some minor things, and use practical effects more, but on the whole you wouldn't be able to change enough to make a difference.

We don't talk about it that much, we talk about star wars as an entity. If you havent noticed this is the only thread about The Force Awakens in the catalog, what is there even to discuss about such a fucking copy paste of episode iv.

You can't fix this is Rey beats Kylo in the end battle. That's the biggest mistake and if that has to happen due to plot, the thing can't work.

Mostly you can do it by toning down the Mary Sue aspects


1) Rey is more of a nerdy tech girl, has some piloting skills, not really big into fisticuffs
2) Rey doesn't beat up three guys at once
3) Kylo Ren doesn't go "WHAT GIRL?!"
4) Rey doesn't escape by herself; at the very least no scene of everyone watching her climb with admiration. She uses tech smarts to get into the duct system or some shit.
5) Kylo Ren doesn't do force tantrums. Never removes his mask. Character is very quiet and ominous. No weird scene with Vader head.

Its inoperable. Under this conditions, the best you could manage is a 5/10.

If people hate car accidents, why do they look at them? THE GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING MICROWAVES IN YOUR CEREAL WAKE UP SHEEPLE

I havent seen the Nu-films

I saw A new hope about 4 times (bretty good :))))) ) ad ive watched about 3/4 of empire
never seen return of the jedis

saw the prequel with liam neeson in it

this is my star war knowledge

post your car porn :')

Do we? I haven't seen anyone talk about it since it screened in theaters and then a bit when the Kike Cucklasa and E:R reviews were uploaded. It only gets mentioned at times in relation to the prequels as a point of comparison or how it will fuck The Last Jew due to shit setup for a trilogy.

It's interesting because TFA was talked about almost endlessly before release since e-celebs had twisted the truth so much that people thought anything not made by Lucas would be good. There was a lot of speculation on how it would end up. With The Last Jew there's just the question of how much worse they will fuck it up. It will be interesting ro see how general audiences react to force minions and a force tree.

1) Change most of the dialogue besides the opening five minutes
2) Don't edit and direct the film like an ADHD retard
3) Actually include some alien looking worlds
4) Actually get your actors to act

...

alright, i'll bite.

so the movie starts out the same. only major difference is, finn actually shoots at the enemy, realizing that he's mostly shooting innocents defending their home and not rebel soldiers, and that leads to him to later stand down when the order to slaughter the village is given. finn busts poe out because he wants to escape, not defect to the other side. they escape and crash like in the movie, we see poe grab the jacket and start wandering, and we then cut to bb-8 meeting rey. the scavenging scene is cut out since it's fucking pointless, instead we cut straight to bb-8 being caught in the next. rey takes the droid back to her at-at home, where we see her mess with a flight simulator (this is actually canon btw, but it was relegated to the helmet in the movie) the helmet still spells out rhae in basic, hence the theory that it's not even her real name. rey goes to niima outpost (now we see the scene of her passing the star destroyer and debris), we see her clean some scrap while watching the ship fly. then she goes to unkar platt (played by simon pegged in his nu-binks debut), he wants the droid and such. cut to finn arriving at the outpost, remove the dumb humor scenes, jump to rey getting ambushed, finn dives in to help. suddenly imperials, cut out the stronk women scenes, they get to the ship and the movie continues for the most part the way it does, maybe edit out a few tie fighters or that bullshit at the end and just have her get lucky with the turn inside the star destroyer while the tie blows up. even with simulator training, you just don't pull that shit off, no amount of force sensitivity helps you that well without proper training, even anakin didn't mary sue that hard in tpm. stretch the space scenes a bit, to make it seem like they traveled a bit before magically getting caught by han and chewie.

gonna split this over a few posts to make sure i don't hit the character limit.

han and chewie show up, the rest of the scene plays out pretty much as is, only the rathtars instantly eating everyone but finn is cut down to one or two guys because plot armor and finicky bullshit. as far as any first order scenes go at this time, any mention of ren being the solo kid is cut out the vader helmet is still in so we get an idea of his perverted history lessons, and phasma is given more scenes to show her need to survive more than anything else, possibly ren kicking the shit out of her to later make her annoyed enough to actually lower the shields.

anyways, onto scene 24. the crew arrive at takodana. finn lying to rey and bb8 about the resistance is still in the movie, and it still gets revealed here, so he makes off like in the movie. most of the film plays out the same, we finally get a glimpse of starkiller base, the new republic is destroyed, only no fucking viewing it from takodana with the naked eye (see pics related), instead it gets broadcast on the holonet inside the "cantina". the billions of lives instantly wiped out suddenly rush through rey, and she trails off to downstairs, where she starts to hear and see her younger self going towards the lightsaber (btw almost the entire castle is cgi kek, pretty much the only physical elements are the exterior bits when it's destroyed and parts of the cantina). the scene still plays the same, only we also see glimpses of anakin's time using the saber and not just luke's. btw, most if not all of the dialogue is re-written to not be such dogshit.

oh, i forgot to mention, rey suddenly becoming an expert with a pistol is not in the movie, nor is her shooting stormtroopers in the movie. she still leaves the castle in rejection of the vision and such, but kylo ren just pops out of nowhere, she freaks and runs while taking potshots, and he captures her all the same.

tr8-t0r is still in the movie, the scene still goes as is. the resistance shows up to save the day, with poe being the expert pilot we're told he is. leia shows up, throws down some exposition on the first order and how she ended up doing what she's doing (again, shit they left for the books that pathetic sheeple will buy). now we shift to not yavin, where poe and finn reunite for a hot minute, and the whole death star 3.0 shit goes down, again removing the bad dialogue and forced humor.

cut to starkiller base, the interrogation scene. helmet stays on, rey doesn't overcome the mind shit and bounce it back on him, she simply clogs her memory with everything from the vision the saber gave her to avoid kylo seeing the completed map. forgot to mention, the map scene still happens and han still gives them the update on shit, only again re-written to not sound as retarded, and given proper timeline frame of reference (again, relegated to books).

Only the best auteurs are jewish and or atheist and or mexican or some other type of non-white (besides Mel Gibson). These are the types of people with sense and a genuine passion for the genre, a genuine desire to entertain the audience and treat it with respect, a complete lack of ego and an overall moral approach.

The worst directors are religious and spiritual (or just plain or whitebread)
Bresson (Catholic)
Fellini (Catholic)
Bergman (lapsed Lutheran, still tentatively agnostic but searching out a faith in his films)
Tarkovsky (raised Russian Orthodox, held onto a faith and spirituality even in Soviet Russia)
Renoir (Catholic)
Truffaut (Catholic (nominal))
Kurosawa (Buddhist-Shinto)
Welles (Protestant Christian)
Malick (Episcopalian)
(Roman Catholic)
Whedon (Roman Catholic)
Ford (Roman Catholic)
Affleck (Western Christian Spirituality, proto- Muslim)
Lana and Lilly Wachowski ( non-denominational Christians)

Now, the masterminds that plebeians often mistake for bad filmmakers, filmmakers who seek to obfuscate and yet enlighten, who are able to turn the tables the use of religious references and vague symbolism for genuine spirituality, who are mature, vulgar yet sweet, never pretentious, cold and/or cynical only to give you warm blood of heart.
Kubrick (Jewish-born, misanthrope)
Lynch (Transcendental Meditation)
Jodorowsky (Jewish-born, occultist)
Refn (Jewish-born, Jodorowsky's disciple)
Haneke (raised by a Jew)
Aronofsky (Jewish-born, misanthrope)
Cronenberg (Jewish born)
Polanski (Jewish born)
Joel and Ethan Coen (Jewish born)
Alfonso Cuaron (Mexican)
Alejandro Innarritu (Mexican)

instead of the hyperspace bullshit, han flies to starkiller base pretending to offer himself up (this is how he takes the chance of meeting ren face to face). chewie and finn wait and sneak into the base, they find rey and rescue her. the plan goes forward, with chewie and finn setting up charges. han and ren are initially shown meeting, with ren personally escorting han throughout the base to show it off (the plan to kill him is already set, through that poor dialogue with snoke, only again re-written to be a bit more vague and not hamfisted retarded), explaining how they sacked nearby systems, kidnapping, extorting and cloning people to build up their resources so they could become a credible threat, and purposely lingering in the unknown regions so as to avoid detection from the republic, which thought leia to be a loony and sacked her, leading to her working with the resistance, which i've noticed a lot of people seem to think is a pmc of sort. it's not. they're a collective of systems nearby the starkiller base that have had direct contact with the first order over the years, asked for the republic to give military support, but the republic fucked up and downsized the shit out of its military (books), and when leia attempted to appeal to the senate for support, her patronage was exposed and she was laughed out, but a small loan of old shit was given, hence them having any sort of defenses at all.

anyways, everyone but han meets up, they capture phasma, her willingness to survive and contempt for ren make her decide to lower the shields. they sack her and move on. cue the following scene where ren walks out onto the bridge, han shouts BEN, and we are now given the clue that ren is han's son. ren takes off the helmet, puts it on the ground. han walks up to him, the dialogue goes on, han JUSTs and dies, scene goes on with ren taking the bolt, explosions go off. resistance fighters show up to attack the base.

the group bolt for the falcon, which ren barely manages to beat them to. oh, finn did still take the saber, ignites it and charges at ren, while chewie jumps into the falcon. ren promptly whoops finn's ass, cuts him upside the back like in the movie, only instead of the saber falling and ren failing to use his powers to get it, the saber lands practically in rey's hands, though she did stretch her arm out and it's subtly implied she unknowingly used the force to grab it while it was in the air. she receives another vision, this time luke directly communicates with her, letting her know she has the force within her, and for the moment he can help her stand her ground against ren. the two duel, though like in the movie it's a majority of rey barely defending herself and running away. instead, chewie gets the falcon running and starts to take shots at ren, knocking him away with a few torpedo blasts and out out the area. rey gets finn and they leave. the battle between the resistance and first order for the most part goes the same, only no trench bullshit (muh forced pottery), instead the grenades set up blew a hole big enough for a fighter to get inside that area, poe flies right in and fucks shit up, everyone leaves in the nick of time.

cut back to d'qar, only no stupid chewie running off like he does, he helps get finn out, then we see him and leia sit down. rey comes around, tells leia she needs to go to luke. oh, i forgot to say it before, when the group initially goes to d'qar, none of that r2 shit happens, the two droids are still up and running and the map is put together at that time, but the resistance decides to deal with the first order before reaching luke. leia agrees, and the rest of the movie happens as so, only instead of that dumbass panning view, it's a straight shot of luke looking at rey, the saber in rey's hand in the corner, and a sunset behind luke. cue end credits.

if you want to reread it all in one post, i'll link them all here.


oh, and i forgot to mention that ren's edgelord bullshit doesn't happen either. the fucking comedy in this movie was terrible, it was mcu levels of bad.

Because we hate it

This guy gets it.

Because fuck you

He's Jewish

Disgusting individual.