Let's look at Trump's Chinese Horoscop- JESUS H CHRIST

kek'd

and checked

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HOW THE FUCK DO THOSE CHINKS NOW?

Reading this thing, all I hear is butthurt screeching tbh. What a coincidence that they manage to find a problematic interpretation, I wonder what their reading of Mao or any of their beloved leaders is by comparison.

Slow down satan. This just confirms that Trump is an absolute madman on a comic scale.

Nobody is interested in Trump's ching-chong chart. WTF, that shit makes less sense than western astrology.

His luck level is currently at his 2nd highest and going on to be the highest!

He's currently 70 bte

Looks like my life is going to suck until I'm older.

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This explains my not-very-good childhood and slowly rising prospects.

Fucking Chinks and their astrological math.

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Go to /x/ with your bullshit

Welp I better shoot my shot now because things aren't gonna get any better in the future

Buckle Up.

DAY MASTER

ree well let's hope I don't kill myself before my 40s.

also kek at hillary's page

This is just unfair. I only have two good decades.

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Well fuck. The worst is yet to come.

Der krieg ist verloren.

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I'm 28 so I only have two more years to go until I have high luck. I'll wait until I'm at least 30 to find a wife. My luck was shit i my teens. I got cucked by my first love when I was 17.

At least you're not me

link?>

get rekt

at least it's years away

Of all the gook jibberish that means nothing to me, this means the most nothing to me

I guess I plan on dying before I'm 37 then. Valhalla for me

OK. Can confirm. Fuck this shit.

chinesefortunecalendar.com/Chineseastrology.htm

Guys I'm retarded and can't find my way on that mess of a website.
Spoonfeedpls?

Oh shit I'm sorry.
Thanks

So why is mine so out of whack?

How can that shit even be possible? After 22 my life will get shitty every year, until I reach 63 and start partying again, swimming in cash and fucking bitches?

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that late 50s multiple heart attack decade. stay safe

or he finds out his child was not his

or both

you'll have 17 kids?

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What?

Nvm, turns out my kids will make a millionaire when I'll be 63-72

Why are our job ones so high?

My wife leaves me, my favourite son dies in a tragic accident, my other surviving son decides to be a faggot (thus ending my bloodline), my daughter goes and race-mixes, the house burns down, insurance doesn't cover it, and then finally a lifetime of smoking catches up with me and my doctor tells me I have lung cancer, at which point I finally say 'fuck this gay earth' and die of a heart attack.

should i be paranoid about data mining with these things

Poetry.

Wrong timeline. This is side B.

The Metal (me) is the highest. That will be the unlucky one. The luckiest one is Water (kids). After looking at Rise and Fall chart makes sense. My kids will be successful, send me millions when I will be 63-72 and by 83-92 I will become an addict.

What does this mean?

Good point. I still have those mornings every now and then where I wake up and realise that Trump really will become president on Jan 20th and I'm not just having some wonderful dream.

Maybe things really will get better. I just have to have faith in Kek, I guess.

Post your Lucky Element too.

chinesefortunecalendar.com/TDB/leChart2.asp

Has no social elements. Looks like an old site. There's no tracking.

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Preddy unremarkable all in all.
Probably get mauled by niggers when 70.

So anons, what does this mean in particular?

I'm lost. I entered my time of birth

This is suspiciously accurate considering my youth was nothing but insanity and hardship but now I have a fuckload of cash and can sustain myself without working, am learning new languages, going through school effortlessly picking up certificates and random tidbits, and my emperor won.

Don't stop me now.

We have the weight of the world on our shoulders.

I use up all my luck when I'm 18-47 so I suppose I'm probably going to be a soldier or military commander and get my shit fucked up when I'm 38

Apparently I get my shit fucked up at 64 kek

Please send help.
Kek save me.

fuck off, this is the best I saw until now

Hows Bongistan treating you?

That's a nice torque curve, actually.
Well fuck me sideways and call me a monkey. I had a psychotic episode when I was 5, affecting me slightly until today. Now my life is slowly picking up the pace at 22.

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Would'nt mind some storytime.

According to this there are worse things then getting cucked by my, at the time, best friend, getting framed for a sex crime I didn't do, doing the time for it because I had a shitty court-appointed lawyer, having my apartment broken into, getting robbed, breaking 5 bones, 3 death threats and getting expelled from college in the same 10 year span (14-23)? Fuck my life.

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getting married to your dream girl only to have the child come out black

Your punishment must be more severe.

seriously, 54-63 low is really shitty especially if it drops dramatically, he should often visit the doctor at 44-53

But wait! There's more!
I'm a night person.
I like wearing black. My hair is black, too.
I am an IBS skeleton
Sure, horoscopes are always made so they apply to everyone, but this is almost uncanny.

What else do you call nocturnal hallucinations, seeing the walls move and aliens next to your bed? I did have a fever, though, and I get nightmares to this very day.

uhh guys

he will upload himself into a robot body at 84-93

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user I'm sorry to tell you,a kid seeing aliens next to their bed is a sign of child molestation

check em.

he probably finds out the cancer are cured at 64

Either that or I'll start the nuclear holocaust by the time I hit 90.

Or of a very high fever.

I'm 20

Yall niggas seem out of luck

I guess I must be pretty lucky to be born with one ball :^)

what site is that?

WTF

www.chinesefortunecalendar.com

chinesefortunecalendar.com/Chineseastrology.htm

you better freeze some sperm, cyclops.

the chart looks different that the normal one

Niggers check this:
chinesefortunecalendar.com/PC/Angel/HillaryClinton.htm

So apparently there are Chinese and German love stories named after my birthyear and color. One about a guy marrying a spirit and one about a guy marrying a princess and becoming a king.
…lads?

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It doesnt save it however. Good try kikestein.

14/88

Hillary Clinton lost the US presidential race on November 8, 2017. 2016 is Male Fire Monkey year. Male Fire is not her Lucky Element. Monkey of 2016, Tiger of the Day Column and Snake of the 10-Year Major Cycle from 2011 to 2020 have the Hurting Relationship. This is a sign of slander and poor reputation. The next Major Cycle is Male Earth Horse. The Horse of this Major Cycle, Tiger of the Day Column, Dog of the Month Column form a Very Strong Fire Relationship. This strong Fire is not a good sign for her health. She didn't win the presidential race. That might be a good arrangement from the God.

Lets see

Seems about right

Thats going to end well

meanwhile, the first 30 years of my life sucked out loud, I got rejected by every woman I was interested in, I got depressed and fat and isolated myself, I nearly failed out of college TWICE due to depression, and the only people I met that had any interest in being long term friends ended up all being leeches who have sucked me financially dry, INCLUDING my family members mind you

Jesus fucking tap dancing raptor christ.. if THOSE were supposed to be my "lucky years" I might as well just go ahead and blow my fucking brains out now. All the rest of the red bars are at their best, 20-25% of the blue bar, I dont even get another red bar that MATCHES the blue bar until I'm in my 90s

And here I thought I might actually get somewhere in life, maybe get in shape, move up in my career, and marry a younger girl and have a family. Guess thats not in the cards if I trust in this crap. I'm just doomed to a downward spiral from here

for reference

FIRE AND BRIMSTONE

I had a terrible childhood too.
wew.

Maybe if your in the southern hemisphere those bars are opposite.

Bruh, you sure you weren't abducted by aliens? I've seen a fair few shadow figures since I was a kid, even had sleep paralysis once.

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That's nice, but what is the correlation with your life like?

I'm not looking forward to the future's luck

I'm just noticing that my luck is good when the red is longer than the blue.

I no longer believe this. I had some luck a few times.

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Still better then lving after the example of a closet gay pedo illiterate.

I'm going to die at 79

turning 20 this year not long yet lads :^)

Opium

What part of the site did you find that shit?

your mom hates you

All the mogga in my Chinese hood wanna fight trump. Chinese curse Trump and Trump will get very bad luck whenever co,es to anything Chinese.

The fuck is this ape-speak?

More revelations from OP:
Donald Trump's socks were laundered in the Pansexual Sperm Bat day in the Otherkin Cockshaft Bandicoot month of the Bisexual Flaming Yak Year at Trap Sperm Year meaning his MËTAL ËLEMENTS (IRON MAIDEN) ARE OUTCLASSED BY ATTRACTIVE C.O.D. PLAYERS AND ENTRY-LEVEL STARCRAFT ENTHUSIASTS. Do I have to spell it out for you filthy lound eyes?!?!

Fuck off, you fucking rice nigger.

How difficult is it to combine Western and Eastern astrologies?

shitty childhood / early adolescence checking in

Old age is going to hit like a truck it seems.
Does the 1 money mean I'm doomed to be broke, or have fuck you money?