So this may be old news to some of you, but I just found out we're in for a FIFTH raping of our childhood. Marky Mark made the 4th movie tolerable, but it was by no means good. When Dinobots can't make something worth watching, you know you've got a shit-inhaler for a director.
4th movie tl;dw for those who haven't seen it:
So, obviously, I won't be paying theater shekels for this new hot mess, but I'm horrified to see that Sir Anthony Bloody Hopkins apparently needed money this badly.
Just be honest, do you post these on Holla Forums and here because you're fishing for replies Or do you really want to see the different reactions between the two boards?
Andrew Collins
My cousin, a married middle aged father of two, fucking loves these movies He knows all the names of the human characters. He knows all the "lore". Owns all the dvds He never watched the cartoon, but loves the movies for some reason
Robert Brown
Is Shia gonna be in this one?
Brayden Walker
He's no longer famous.
He's probably just a shit taste general audience normalfag who doesn't know any better and just likes action on the screen. Though the fact he bothers to learn the "lore" of the movie universe is appalling.
Evan Butler
I only like this for Samurai Drift
Jack Adams
Guess who's attached to direct the Bumblebee movie
Dylan Hughes
Zack Snyder?
Jackson Rivera
Will Beast Wars ever get the movie treatment or is it not even deserving to get Micheal Bay on the film?
Sebastian Carter
I don't actually go on Holla Forums. I split my time between here and Holla Forums, with the occasional side trips on slow nights to /tg/ and, Heaven help me, Holla Forums.
Fucks like him are the ones who allowed Bay to get this far. Tell him I hate him.
Yeah. He'll be playing Drunken Hobo #2 and his line consists of a mumbled "He will not d'vide us."
Josiah Cruz
I wanna scream about why this is gonna be a thing but I should know by now why this happens.
Do you want a movie entirely made of furry jokes? Because that's what you'd get. Also can't happen because Bay can't shoehorn humans into it.
Adam Perez
God forbid.
The Bumblebee movie. Of course. Why not? Bay's version is more like a trained attack dog than an actual Transformer, so let's give him a fucking movie!
Blake Hernandez
How is it these flms still keep being made. I don't watch these. Who does? The Chinese?
Ayden Thompson
Yes actually.
Jack Baker
Oh sweet child, you still haven't understood. Everyone in Hollywood is a whore. Every last one of them.
Well Kubo was a good movie. I want the transformers movie franchise to die and get a reboot that actually gives screentime and characters to the robots
Elijah Bell
same
Jose Hughes
and have it actually be animated
Dylan Gray
China has a burgeoning population of normies with no taste who like the pretty explosions and sexy ladies and fart jokes like it comes right from the asshole of Jesus Christ himself, yeah.
Also, Michael Bay has totally been fucking the girl from the first two movies. Hell, her character's name is literally Michaela Banes.
Josiah Bell
I have never seen a Transformers live-action movie.
Tyler Bailey
Only the first one was good, that's all you need to know.
Jack Bennett
I will take your word for it.
Lucas Reyes
Almost tolerable thanks to Spielberg's involvement
Cameron Stewart
I understand, but I haven't managed to strangle the last few strands of hope I possess.
And make them look the way they're supposed to look instead of those insectile things that Bay's so horny for.
Andrew Moore
I took my 8-year-old son to the first one. I was merely annoyed until Sam's mom started talking about fucking masturbation.
Christian Wilson
Lol, "Sam's happy time".
Wyatt Cooper
Have you shown your son the 1986 G1 Transformers movie? It is literally a thousand times better than every single shit Bayformers film combined.
Jason Reed
Besides that the movie was solid, everyother sequel was trash
Dominic Martin
Kill yourself, pleb. Not everything needs to be a sundance indie hipster 2deep4u film.
Gabriel King
...
Leo Flores
I don't think any series of movies should ever be anything more than a trilogy. The only exception to the rule I can think of is Harry Potter, but at the same time they were books and not trash a screen writer hammered out. I suddenly realized I never saw transformers #4. So I just watched it. The small bud light commercial in the middle of the movie was off putting. I feel like I mostly just listened to loud noises played over 2 hours of sparks and explosions. I didn't cringe as hard as when I watched the other ones so that is an improvement I guess. Mark Whalberg has the acting talent of a plank of wood though.
Anthony Hopkins meanwhile is such a good actor he shouldn't be allowed to be in something so soulless. It appears the climax is a fight on a floating Space Bridge. I'll probably watch it 3 or 4 years from now.
You just described my brother in law.
James Barnes
Just pirate it
Justin Martin
How? The movie universe's lore is a jumbled mess riddled with plot holes. The transformers were created by the allspark but then it turned out they were actually created by aliens, so what the fuck is the allspark then? There were decepticon spies on earth for thousands of years looking for the matrix of leadership but none of them located the allspark when it fell to earth. Etc. Etc.
1/10 (You) can do better than that.
Chase Lopez
The first one was garbage, you couldn't even see the robots fighting properly, it was all this garbage shaky cam shit.
All those goofy fucking losers. It was so forced and unbearable. I would rather see Christopher nolans take on the franchise than on their one of these. Granted I never watched any after the abomination the first movie was.
William James
I gave Bay the benefit of the doubt for almost a decade.
But this film looks like fucking garbage. Not even a homeless loli can save it
Luis Thomas
The whole point was to put you in the human's shoes, in the midst of this crazy robot battle.
Adam Murphy
so will they finally fix Bee's voice or will he continue to be a poor man's Wreck-Gar?
Kayden Jones
yes
Nolan Sanders
...
Luke Wright
I expect Bay to be a faggot, but it really chafes my ass that this shit has carried over to other media like the games and cartoons.
News flash: They're ROBOTS. If Ratchet can replace a fucking hand, he can certainly replace a broken voicebox. Even if Bumblebee sounded like Steven Hawking, it's still better than trying to edit radio show clips together.
Isaac Campbell
...
Nicholas Peterson
Absofuckinglutely. He loved it as much as I do, which was why we were so disappointed with Bay's abortion.
Cameron Jackson
Last I heard in Age of Extinction it has a protagonist who carries around a business card detailing age of consent laws for when people call him out on fucking a teenager
Gavin Peterson
no way
Austin Anderson
literally impressive
Lincoln Butler
I loved how they used the same scene of the shitskin whore looking at the yelllow robot twice in the trailer. It really made me think.
Kevin Rogers
The spark of primus. The original transformer, who now rests in his transformed form as the planet cybertron.
There is a chance that the planet seen in the trailer is either Primus or Unicron.
Aaron Ross
It looks more like a ship.
John Brooks
To be entirely fair. I like bumblebee having his voice chip broken/having to jump through extra hoops to speak. I find it to be an enduring character trait for him. He doesn't have anything else.
Except for being the poor man's hot rod and being fucking garbage And probably and old friend of megatron, if i read that comic page right
Shouldn't they have this in the energy room? In a emergency like this having it there would be far more convenient than having to haul ass all the way from to to bottom of the ark to replace it.
God dammit redshirt-tron, i'm a mute who got shot, i'm not retarded.
Why call them locks if trash like bumblebee can break them with just one punch?
I am a mute Ratchet
Is it me or this feels like third person Call of Duty? I keep waiting for ramirez-bot to die
I'm mute, not blind.
Seriously that ruins the tension of the moment.
Still. Should i play this game? I'm interesed in the storyline.
Gavin Brown
Only the first 3
Bentley Lopez
Which ones? Can you give me names please?
Oliver Morales
I'm very happy to hear it. ^^ Glad to hear I'm in the same boat as you and your son. I swear, I can go back to that movie a million times and always be thoroughly entertained.
Which reminds me, did you see the G1 movie as a kid, when it first came out in theaters? If so, I'd love to hear all about it. I was born in '95, so I never got to experience an 80's childhood firsthand. I love hearing about others' experiences with iconic films such as this one.
Zachary Phillips
This better be a bait.
Julian Ross
Probably is
Angel Hernandez
Probably isn't
Jayden Carter
I know
Jackson Price
...
William Sanchez
You act like you hate all of these movies and that you won't pay money to see them, but you WILL watch them anyway, so they'll still make more, because if you watch them it's because you want to, which means millions of other people not only want to but will pay money to do it.
Ayden Wood
I only watch them when they run on TV
Christian Adams
Get back on your meds kid
Jayden Morgan
I've seen every other crap movie in theaters, why stop now? These movies are made to be seen in a theater anyway
Logan Peterson
I never paid a dime to see that shit in theaters. I always watched them at home, either on DVD or on Netflix, in the case for Age of Extinction. If I have any need to see The Last Knight during its theatrical run, I'll just pirate it.
It's the moral thing to do, anyway. Bay doesn't deserve any more money anyway. That fucker needs to go bankrupt for assfucking the Transformers for nearly 10 fucking years.
Spread the word, everyone. #piratebay
(you know, bay as in Michael…)
Liam Brown
So how do we get people to underrstand that these movies are mediocre and do not deserve money?