That reminds me of a story I heard…
This is a real conversation with a dindu rapper who is a Blood and achieved “General” rank in the gang. He’s a friend of a mutual friend. We hung out at our mutual friend’s house. It went something like this, paraphrased.
Me: Are you going to vote? Can you vote?
Blood: I ain’t caught no case. Feds ain’t got shit on me. Fuck yeah, imma vote.
Me: For whom?
Blood: Trump, man. He real as fuck. He know what up.
Me: Really? You don’t care about what he said about the Mexicans and the Muslims?
Blood: Dat nigga real. Fuckin’ illegal immigrants be takin’ jobs from da hood. Fuck them Muslim niggas, no terrorist attack da hood. We strapped as fuck, blow holes through dem terrorist niggas. Dat nigga Trump right, though. Don’t let dem niggas in. It all CIA shit, though; dey run dis shit. CIA train bin Laden, nigga. Errybody know dat shit.
Me: So you wouldn’t vote for Hillary?
Blood: Fuck dat white bitch. She fake as fuck. Clintons and Bushes was da ones dat brought crack into da hood. How you think so much white all of a sudden on da street? Niggas brought dat shit through Arkansas when Clinton was president and Bush run CIA. They da real drug dealers. Destroying da fuckin’ hood. Plus dat bitch eat pussy. I can tell.
Me: So you’re voting for Trump.
Blood: Every street nigga feel Trump, man. If dey can vote. Every street nigga votin’ Trump. Trump a real nigga. He think like a real nigga. Real recognize real, ya feel? Trump know how life really works, man.
Translation
Me: Are you going to vote? Can you vote?
Upstanding Member of the Negro Community: I have not been caught up in any criminal proceedings. The federal police have no issues with my person. Of course, and most certainly, sir, I shall cast my vote.
Me: For whom?
UMNC: Trump, my good fellow. He is a sincere, upstanding gentleman. He understands the circumstances and is well informed on what is happening.
Me: Really? You don’t care about what he said about the Mexicans and the Muslims?
UMNC: That good man is true. The blighted illegal immigrants are poaching employment from our community. To Hell with the Saracens; no Jihadist warriors dare to lay a finger on our town. We are armed to the teeth and will perforate those scoundrels. The gentleman Trump is correct, however. We shouldn’t let the infidels in. This is all a ruse by the CIA, though; they are the puppet masters. The CIA provided training to Osama bin Laden, good sir. Everyone is aware of this piece of information.
Me: So you wouldn’t vote for Hillary?
UMNC: Confound that white queen. She is as sincere as Beelzebub. The Clintons and the Bushes were the ones who introduced narcotics into our community. How else do you imagine, sir, that the amount of cocaine on our streets skyrocketed during the years of their tenure? Those rascals transported that rubbish through Arkansas during Clinton’s presidency while Bush was in charge of the CIA. They are the true suppliers of the narcotics tearing the negro community asunder. Also, that quim is a cunnilinguist. I can discern it.
Me: So you’re voting for Trump.
UMNC: Every upstanding member of the community agrees with Trump, mon ami. If they can cast their vote, every one of us gentlemen shall vote for Trump, the model gentlemen. He thinks like a gentlemen of true stock. Nobility innately recognizes nobility, you see. Trump understands how the course of the river of life runs.