Holla Forums, you've got to hear this shit that happened earlier today. gf and I had just got done having sex upstairs. Afterward, I threw the condom away in the upstairs trash can. About 20 minutes later, gf and I are downstairs watching TV when we hear her 10-year-old daughter giggling upstairs. gf yells, "Heidi, what are you doing up there?" Heidi comes out of the bathroom to the top of the stairs… with the condom in her mouth… BLOWING IT UP. My jaw dropped and my gf is all like "HEIDI!!!" As she jumps up off the couch, she knocks the ashtray off the coffee table and onto the floor. Both of our lit cigarettes land on the carpet and become buried beneath a pile of other cigarette butts. She starts frantically sifting through them and grabbing handfuls and burns the fuck out of her hand on one of the cherries. My gf screams at me to go deal with her daughter, so I run upstairs real fast to take it away from her. By the time I reached the top, the condom is blown up very full, and as I wonder if the situation could possibly get any worse, it does. As she tilts it upward to huff another big puff of air into it, a huge load of my jizz pours right into her mouth. She immediately starts gagging and drops the balloon on the floor, but her mouth is already full of me right now. She starts spitting it out and it ends up all over her hands and shit. She's all like, "That stuff tastes and smells weird". I rush her into the bathroom and have her gargle with Scope until she can't taste the sperm anymore. My gf finally makes it upstairs and asks if everything is alright, but a bit too late as Heidi has my jizz all over her shirt, shorts, and even running down her chest. gf cleaned her up right there, but the memory will stick. It's only a matter of time before Heidi reaches social maturity and realizes what the stuff in that balloon really was. I hope I am around to see the look on her face when the light bulb turns on.
Pic related. It's Heidi.