This is the dark and edgy reboot of Archie. It looks like shit...

Good god does this look terrible, who thought this is a good idea?

It was okay, nothing special. The Sonic comics were originally terrible and become all right later on only to become mediocre with a reboot.

Twin Peaks honestly.
Twin Peaks is getting its third season after much insistence from David Lynch, so now every series that gets greenlight has to lookn like Twin Peaks.

But yeah I get you, gleefully the real Twin Peaks is gonna trash all this posers into oblivion.

Highest common denominator will want TP to suck liberal non existent cock, a theme Lynch never gets into.
Lowest common denominator won't be able to distinguish "just for fun artsy stuff" from real intentional non spoonfeeding delivery.
Twin Peaks is gonna crash and burn.

Jim fix your site

The age of dark and gritty reboots is still going strong, this'll do really well with horny single mothers like everything else on the CW, so I wouldn't hold out hope for this being noticed as the horrible mess of generic that it is.

Yea, but wasn't dune shit?

Lynch has never been good at working with existing properties. Usually only his stuff is good.

You forgot about the large number of genuine Twin Peaks fans who will watch it for a resolution to a 25-year cliffhanger. Besides, it doesn't need to get a season after this so long as we know what happened to Cooper.

It was handicapped form the very start.

Who else wants to go back in time and make TP an animated series for adults?

Jews who need to subvert everything wholesome and white.

Surely there can't be that many horny single mothers out there.

You're half right, it was the Jews but it was for money, if people wanted wholesome and white you'll be getting wonder bread shoved up your ass.

There are, just not the ones worth pursuing

So who wants to take one for the team and watch the premiere to tell us how exactly shit it is?

I plan watching it. Though I should note that my views of things don't exactly align with the collective's.

I'll watch it for a laff.
Don't worry, my opinions are rigidly with that of the board, and I follow the hivemind like a good goy.

Who the hell is this supposed to appeal to? The kind of people who read Life with Archie and Afterlife with Archie? Or the kind that already watch whatever's on The CW?

looks like a tribute to Twin Peaks more than anything

I think they were trying to appeal to both.

I rewatched Dune recently and it's pretty damn faithful to the first book. The main problem with it is unless you've just read the book, it makes very little sense because it tries to compress everything that happens into two hours.

...

Shit like this is why I barely watch live action shows. It's always the same shit. I can't tell this apart from most shows I see advertised on TV nowadays. Pretty Little Liars, Ravenswood, Scandal, Trueblood, whatever. How do people watch this shit? You're watching the same fucking show over and over.

So Josie and Pussycats. What purpose do they fucking serve?

I'm impressed and terrified that these shows even get spinoffs with the same format which makes me think a dark and edgy Josie and the Pussycats isn't far off.

So how is Jughead being a detective in his character?

He is?

I actually wanna see that one.

Archie deserves to end, behind that sunny cheerful disposition I've always seen him as petty and empty inside.

He looks more like the stoner best friend in this.

Nope. No. Nyet. Nein. Non.

Death is too good for Archie.

That TV show actually doesn't look so bad now that I've seen this.

At least Archie is a ginger.

It was primarily comedy based.
Practically just a funnypages comic you can find next to TV guides at a supermarket.
Basically a teenage version of Three's Company at best.
There are ones with plots though and various themes.
Really though it is a lot of g-rated comedy.
Every attempt at being contemporary is just the most cringe inducing shit for something so heavily entrenched in a yesteryear aesthetic.

But this show is like trying to make a gritty reboot of Peanuts or Dennis the Menace.

Thought so. My only exposure to Archie was skimming through the Predator crossover. Now that was a shocker with how my previous idea was it was an innocent simple series.

What in the fuck is this retarded trend with trailers

...

they all hire the same guy

I'm not going to say this looks good

I'm just going to ask how it looks more retarded than average

It really looks like the typical level of retardation, no worse

Yep, he's a frog, there was a emission about him in my country, he apparently started with E.T. trailer.
Everything shitty about the trailers, even the spoiling of the plot, it's all him.
As a frog, i apologize

What's that Archive comic where Sabrina Spellman brings back Jughead's dog? It ends up leading to a zombie outbreak in Riverdale that eventually spills out to everywhere else. I think the last issue I read was Sabrina getting married off to an Eldritch demon after getting condemned for using forbidden magics.

That reminds me, Holla Forums should really have a Census at some point.

That's the exact problem. It's generic and cookie-cutter as possible while also trying to pretend it's cutting-edge and dangerous.

It's insulting to our collective intelligence that a television studio would be so brazen about being hack frauds.

Nah, the reboot is when it becomes alright. They were okay before and they kept descending more and more into generic chrischan tier furry autism because the head writer was your generic run of the mill sonic-autist.

The entire reason they rebooted the series was because he got assmad that Bioware used his "ideas" for their shitty Sonic RPG and then he found out that he didn't own any of the characters or plots or concepts he made for Sonic and then some dumbfuck at Sega lost his contract.

IT'S THE FUCKING EYES

Finally nailed down why this shit bothers me so much. It's not technically bad, but EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER either has those really sleepy looking bedroom eyes, or they have giant gaping chasms with dots in the middle.

Also, the mouths ain't helping.

...

On the barest level, it works. It's not the fat-legged hipster style of a Natasha Allegri. The paneling flows easily. The coloring and linework are okay. On a very basic level, it's okay.

But it's the little things that drag it into the shit pit where it belongs. The bad writing. The obnoxious themes. The moronic facial expressions.

What is his name?

No way, one man shouldn't be responsible for this.

It was Cheryl that killed her brother, they make it so fucking obvious.

I'm still fucking mad

I can't believe it took Sega this issue to fire Penders.

If she just focused on the faces, and was kept far away from the writing process, she could put out some decent work I think.

Talk about a steal

That physically hurts.

I just can't stand how lazy her art looks.
At least if the art were decent, you'd have something to tell people about the comic other than 'It's shit and I hate it'.

I can't believe that Penders could keep his "original" characters

It's better to burn out
Than fade away

So, what's the consensus? Was the premier episode bad, good, usual CW shlock, actually a great show but you'll say you hate it, or too soon to tell?

Why did they make all the members of Josie and The Pussycats black? And why is Reggie a chink?

Diversity. It's always for diversity reasons.

No one cared enough to watch it. I'll see if I can find it online, watch it, and come back here to tell everyone if it's shit or not.

Why is a trailer for a new series now private?

Because it's shit.

I am glad I missed all the drama with penders frankly. I don't know why, but I just lost interest in sonic, and a few other things while I was a kid. I dodged a major bullet. What exactly happened, just how big of a drama did this cause?

The synopsis of the episode from Wikipedia:

Confirmed trash, but what did anyone expect?
Also, it seems to be implied here that Jughead's actual fucking name is Jughead?

Archie looks a hell of a lot like Pretty Little Liars.

And Moose is now gay because it's the current year.

Here's the short list version:

>Penders lost his mind after the release of Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood
>He returned with a lawsuit and tried to say every character that even appeared in the comic belonged to him
>Universe restart with Sonic the Hedgehog #252 (The issue immediately after the first Mega Man crossover)

You're leaving out the best part.
LARA-SU CHRONICLES.

Yah I know that, but I wanted to hear in greater detail of penders fucking losing his mind, and exactly what lead up to it.

It's not like 'teen drama' is exactly a stretch for Archie. Besides, one of the best Archie spinoffs is a Walking Dead pastiche.

It's kind of complicated, but a lot of it involved a rivalry with another writer employed by Archie, and the fact that the editor for the Sonic comic did literally nothing except give standing orders of "make it anime high school drama" and "suck my dick in every off-panel."

Penders actually wanted to sue Bioware first for "appropriating" his characters, but found he had no claim since Archie had the rights. So he then sued Archie for the rights so he could then sue Bioware.

I can only imagine how much suing Archie cost him legal fees.

Who did he get to do the concept art for his pitch for Lara-Su Chronicles?
I haven't seen CGI that uncanny-valley creepy since the 90's.

"Hollywood people," according to him.

How many episodes of this shit will there be?

Did they take it down because the reaction was so negative? Or, lemme guess, neo-nazi anim avatar alt-rightists took over the comments and sent death threats to the females?

Well there isn't much more to it. The only reason Penders got the rights to the characters was because the dumbfucks at Sega and Archie couldn't come up with his contract saying that all characters he created were owned by them. that's literally the only reason.

The reaction was negative? Last I checked it had a 70% positive thumbs up and it was several thousand in.

And in the very end, he now owns a bunch of furry characters that no one cares about except himself.

Also I can't unsee Eddie Murphy as that black man in that 2nd image.

Is it out yet?

Maybe around 12

yes

Archie comics lost it the year they sued Dan Decarlo, the guy who's art defined archie comics for decades. I can't remember which of his ideas they stole (probably josie and pussycats) and made a movie without telling him until it was released in theaters. He talked to a lawyer, not sued or anything, just TALKED to one to see if there was anything shitty about what they did (duh) and they fired him and sued him back or some such shit, just because they heard he was talking to a lawyer. Of course the movie sucked ass because they completely ignored the comics' creator and the rest was downhill after that. They just kept trying to reinvent their properties without any input from the creatives who got them there. As if a bunch of suits sitting around a board room knows what kids like to read and therefore like to consume in film.
This Riverdale show has nothing to do with Archie. It's basically just some typical teen drama that they decided it might get more eyes if they gave it a familiar name so they licensed the rights to archie. But Archie comics aren't ANYTHING like the show. IT will fail horribly just like every other film that bought the rights to a property, only to shit all over it and ensure that not even the fans of said property will find anything resembling it.
remember the mario bros. movie? for the oldfags. remember the punisher? catwoman? they never learn; don't fuck with the formula. archie comics deserves to die a quick fiery death if they were the ones who thought this was a good idea.

That's the excuse they'll make up, no doubt.

I do!

Two Dubs Checked

Childhood Friend/Girl Next Door vs. Princess is always a hard decision to make.

If I recall, he commissioned some guy on Deviantart who'd barely gotten into CGI art.

After some searching, he has a Deviantart account, with NOTHING ON IT.
I see why he filled Penders with confidence.

I can't unsee Eddie Murphy as this fucking she-male bitch.

Lol.
Well this is one in-universe explanation of Lara-su that works.

This is a guy who used to work at a professional (more or less) comic book publisher with actual artists. How did it get that bad?

All the best Archie comics are ones that fuck the formula and do insane shit, though.

...

Kill yourself Truthseeker but I'll give you some credit for the image.

Well, they could, but he somehow convinced the judge that it was a "forgery" because the original contracts were lost in a warehouse fire.

Don't forget the part where the entire company was being run by a crazy bitch that married into power and referred to all the male employees as "penis" for a while. Gotta love it.

lol

...

...

Its not a fair world.

I don't demand perfectly, just porn with Midge and Cheryl Blossom

She might as well now that Moose is gay.

So this went from "What slut will Archie fuck" to "What slut will Archie kill"?

They might do "what slut will kill Archie?"

Weapons grade autism.

Shit another episode comes out tonight, doesn't it? Too bad we don't have any pain anons to watch it and dissect it.

One of you better deliver. I wanna see this shit crash and for NuArchie to fuck off already.

May his soul rest in piece.

I just checked and it's already got a Tumblr fandom fucking hell it's so fangirl bait-y. They have the formula figured out.

You have to be kidding me. Let me guess it's full of yaoishit of Archie and Jughead.

Yes but you have to remember Tumblr is full of lonely dykes too so obviously they're already complaining Betty/Veronica is gonna "queerbait" them.

Shouldn't they be bitching about how the love triangle between Archie, Betty, and Veronica is sexist or some shit?

i thought betty and veronica were lesbos?

I heard that the kiss that was in the trailer was something Veronica did to help Betty be put on the cheerleading team. More than likely they needed an excuse to have a lesbo kiss scene to advertise the show.

Yes, it is. It's bad on every level.

...

...

Canonically, doesn't Midge go crazy if anyone tries to mack on Moose? Like, worse than Moose does when Reggie macks on Midge?

That's like 90% of their gimmick, iirc.

Lawd Jesus, this shit is worse than Edgy Rangers.

bump

I'm okay with this part

So like how low do the ratings have to go because it gets cancelled? 'Cause right now it's at like 1.2 mill.

How much did constaine get?

Like at least 3.2 mill per episode. But that was on NBC, a much bigger network that the CW. For comparison, The 100 which is broadcast on the CW too never goes above 2 million viewers and that still gets renewed. The ratings this season have fallen below the 1 millon mark too, so it might be the last. Or maybe some producer is overly attached to it, 'cause it makes no sense that it keeps going despite terrible ratings.

so the cheerleader team has a no straight girls policy?

Hopefully it won't last a season.