I love my girlfriend, and I've posted about her on threads on here in the past and generally had an overwhelmingly positive response. I'm not going to post her picture, so let's just say the closest match to her body I can find is Naomi Clark and to her face Sophia Lillis. When I describe how we got together the response is always congratulatory. We've been together over a year. Now I want to specify, she was a virgin before she met me and I'll get to why I believe her in a bit, so it's not *that* which bugs me. I want to describe how we got together, then go into her past and ask whether I'm justified to take issue with it, or I should just be happy for all the other ways she's awesome and continue ignoring it.
First, how we met. I was in an arcade, she worked there, she started flirting with me. Initially I rolled my eyes "Here comes tumblr…" I thought. She had problem glasses, short hair shaved on the sides, and her hair was dyed blue. Still, she was very attractive. She was curvy but had a tight little body. Less busty than what I usually go for, but still very pretty. She introduced herself with a male name. It came out that she'd had her name legally changed and was on testosterone. I was flippant, but I leveled with her. "But you have such a feminine figure, and you're so pretty." I talked to her about chromosomes, bone structure, die cis scum, dennis avner, basically praised her for being so feminine underneath it all. This was all the encouragement she needed.
Without me even suggesting it she started wearing dresses, growing her hair out and wearing make up. She asked me to pick a new female name for her. She's very submissive, she's turned on by the idea of being a housewife, of cooking and cleaning for me, of me impregnating her. It's bliss. Gradually though I learn more about her past and elements of it I normally would have considered ruling her out for even considering dating.
First off, she considered herself pansexual, but while I've let it go, the label's totally bullshit. In the past she'd exclusively dated girls while identifying as a boy, but she had no sexual attraction to them. All they did was hold hands platonically. She explained "I found them pretty but not sexually attractive. I considered myself asexual at the time." See, she's sexually attracted to men, but up until I came along none she was interested in paid her any mind. She found boys her age gross and uninteresting, just sending her dick pics and ignoring her claims to be a boy, and older men weren't interested on account of her pretending to be a boy, which is what she was attracted to. Ordinarily I wouldn't even consider dating someone who identifies as bisexual much less pan, but I didn't find this out until I'd already grown attached. Then there's her fandoms… Where do I begin…
She's into Sonic, Five Nights at Freddy's, Steven Universe, Korra, MLP, Disney, she basically was tumblr. She's grown out of some of these things, and she acknowledges "tumblr corrupted me as a child" She had an extensive background involving gay slash art and fiction of the above fandoms including a shocking amount based on fan characters from FNAF. She's embarrassed by this and since I stumbled onto her old tumblr with all this on it I usually just bring it up to tease her in conversation. Still, every single thing she read or played was gay sex. I suppose that's where her desire to be a boy came from. Other than that, it's just her old pictures that bother me. On the one hand, young her trying her best to look like a boy… honestly… is kind of hot to me. I'd never tell her because I'm just getting that poison out of her, but all those pictures of her with short hair in tuxedos… I hate that they turn me on. On the other hand, many of those pictures include her holding hands with girls, and it just irks me.
I don't know, what do you think?