Now for real, why does Holla Forums hate Node.JS so much? Braindead community aside...

Try google.com/

No, you tell me, you fucking summer LARPer. Google ain't gonna tell me which obscure web servers have good QA, and in fact, it's probably gonna recommend me the shit mentioned in the OP.

So tell me, oh grand webserver expert, which fucking obscure technologies no one knows about have good QA?

The node ecosystem is maximum cancer. 'devs' using npm happily integrate 'libraries' consisting of 5 lines of code from someone with hour-of-code levels of experience who won't be maintaining their code and fixing security issues and they blindly pull new versions. Additionally, these packages can run code as you on your box as part of the install. I'd expect everyone doing work with node has a rootkit on their dev box by now and their sites contain PHP-levels of exploits.
(((reddit space)))
The situation is so hopeless but webdevs so retarded and determined to be fucked that Debian decided to allow including the package in stable with the caveat that even in stable there will be no security support for node as it's impossible to support. They relented and gave you the rope you're so desperately trying to hang yourself with and walked away.

Erlang/Elixir
Modern JVM languages (Kotlin, Clojure)

So can your system package manager, cargo, pip, bundler, cpan, maven, nuget, and every other package manager. literally not an argument you LARPing moron.

So many LARPers ITT comparing a runtime (node) to a packagemanager (npm and it's retarded ecosystem)

Just use FCGI and a sane language. I also discovered CGICC recently.

Nodejs is pretty marvelous ( in the literal sense).

It's JavaScript itself which sucks. No matter how good your framework, a language designed exclusively to manipulate dom elements in static xml pages is not suited for application programming. JavaScript could have been okay if it wasn't designed with the intent of letting brainless developers get something that works. See: implied semicolons, type coersion

I'm not a fan of weak typing, but it's not the reason I dislike javascript. Weak typing is a defensible high-level design choice.
The problem with javascript is that it's badly designed at a lower, more detailed level. It's full of oddities and crippled by backward compatibility because it was rushed and designed by one guy in under a week and now nothing can ever break compatibility with old code. And not only is it badly designed, it's not even designed for the kind of work node.js does.
It's not offensively bad. PHP makes me angry, node.js doesn't. But node.js is a server-side runtime bound by compatibility and standard library constraints that only really made sense on the client side, and that makes me sad.

node is better than PHP, but Lynxchan is pretty bad.

is the systemd of web protocols. Just use HTTP and proxy it through apache.

Attention you fucking webdev faggot, there is a level of scrutiny on fixed packages in stable with a maintainer that does not exist for a complete random injecting a total unknown which might exist for only a minute on your box. Jesus what is wrong with your community where you are so blind to this kind of thing.

i don't hate it. for one-off projects that you just need to get done that need to werk it is perfectly acceptable. is it C? no. does it do the job? yes.

no way

bullshit. python + aiohttp don't require anything like that.

speak english, you incoherent pajeet niggerfaggot

I'll be completely serious.
I unironically like Node, despite it's many failings.

The reason is really simple.
When I code in Node, I will almost always spend 80-90% of the time developing code.

In any of the other major languages (C/C++, Java, etc.. not including scripting languages) you will always be in 2 modes.
1. Plan some shit, then write it.
2. Run it. Debug it. Repeat several times.

Depending on the complexity of the codebase, it'll end up becoming a 40% / 60% split.
The debugging phase is where I lose my shit, and often become frustrated. I don't like the frustration.
This is why NodeJS is popular, and why people are using bloated APIs like Electron.

Oh, and I forgot the second biggest reason for Node, NPM.
When your package manager is so simple you don't think about it, someone's doing something good.>>763773

Weak typing is a problem, though. At my company, we sometimes concat (in some very specific, performance-critical parts) values to SQL queries. Thing is, we use .NET and .NET languages are strongly typed, so we know that integer is indeed an integer and we can't get SQL injected if we put it in there. The language controls this for us, and even discards all petitions to our web services if they don't follow the function signature to a T.

Not to mention serverside web form validation is a pain in the ass in weakly typed languages for user input processing since they all do weird stuff with strings. For example, in JS you may compare a "10" to a 10 if you don't use the identic comparator, which is fine for most situations, but then parseInt() does weird stuff, like transforming "" to 0, or discarding trailing non-digits. This is worse in PHP land, with every invalid value returning 0.

JS is kind of a weird language, but it is not that bad. The this keyword behaviour is batshit insane and hard to predict (then so is everything related to objects in that language; good thing we are against OOP, right?), and not using strict mode is akin to shooting yourself in the foot, but if you only use a small subset of JS, which luckily includes the absurdly powerful closures, it is an alright language.

Besides, serverside you don't have to use the DOM API and that's enough to make Nodejs infinitely more usable.

Wanna know why I know your opinion is invalid?

At least Node is actually fast.

simple as in retarded?

At least do your fucking research before telling others they're idiots. Node isn't a web server you pajeet-tier webdev faggot REEEEEEEEE.

Now that's out of the way, let me tell you why I dislike node and anything written with it.
First and foremost, I dislike javascript. Not so much for it's weak typing, but mostly for being batshit retarded like not being able to run recursive functions properly. I can't write javascript without having to babysit it at each step until I know all of it's retarded quirks. Lua is superior in every single way for a simple, easy to get started with and do small shit with language. Javascript sucks both at being simple and being able to handle large-scale programs.
Next is how Node is conceived out of "hurr let's take this huge v8 engine, and write a main() function and some wrappers for it". They had a community breakup with io.js for some retarded reason.
While I'm talking about the community, I might as well just reference this post:

Yes, it's just as batshit retrded as the language used to create it. The breakdown of the whole system due to the removal of a single package containing 5 glorious lines of code was a serious red flag for me.
And, despite everything you might say about how great or not npm is, I don't like it. I'm sick and tired of having a separate package manager for each and every special snowflake language on my system, while 'trying' to work with the distribution's package manager whenever it needs a dependency for some of it's packages (and completely fucking it over in the process), instead of just, you know, making it easy to include the packages in the distribution. I'm sure it's useful, I'm sure it works fine, but if you're going to start requiring distribution maintainers to either use it or suck it up and package each 5 lines of code separately, you deserve a kick in the nuts, if not more. It really isn't that hard. Just look at python for a much saner ecosystem.

That's a one way trip into crazyland.

Must it always be complicated?
Of course it makes sense to exert minimal effort on anything that isn't development.

For real?
NodeJS is a language that shits in all the programming-language purists' plates, but is still easy and straightforward enough to learn to build a fuckton of applications.

It's the anti-thesis of the purists.
How can a language so unpure be so easy to use? Everyone knows the "best" languages are the ones that are the most "correct".

Wanna know why I know your opinion is invalid?

I don't see how that's comparable
Are you serious?