Star Wars: The Last Jedi to reveal “The Most Shocking Truth In Star Wars History”
Luke is gay
Look at this magnificent log I pulled out of my ass! Shocking, isn't it?
Rey is Luke and Leia's daughter.
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The Jedi were wrong to focus only on the light, and deny the dark side.
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The galaxy is run by Jews.
Is that He-Man 2017?
He-IdentifiesAsAMan that is.
Who cares? Who gives a shit? Who is this marketed to anymore that this would be an earth-shattering experience?
the series was always shit
jedis are actually evil and the emperor was right all along.
I bet you they're going to pull a Revan with Rey.
You turn to shock-value when you got nothing else to offer, i guess they have realised they got half-assed story with nothing interesting at all.
nobody would even give a shit and they will say its the greatest thing ever sounds about right
Alderan wasn't real. It was a lie by the Toydarians.
she kills Luke. I guarantee you that's what it is.
Luke: "I am your father."
Rey: "No, Luke, I am *your* father."
And the mind was blown.
VADER IS ALIVE AND IS SNOKE
not watching that shit
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Rey is Luke's transgender clone "son"
if only this were true
thanks for the spoilers, it's Snape all over again
Literally a made up fantasy story written by some guys
JarJar is Snoke.
My guess is that the nigger is actually Leia's first son before the saga started. Leia was BLACKED
If it's a fucking tie-in to Infinity War I will stand up and applaud the Jews on their shamelessness.
Light and Dark side are the same lol. Strong female protagonist leads the stupid men into peace.
The Jews were the real superheros!!
The empire put all the force users into camps.
Rey and Finn travel to the Milky Way Galaxy, land on our Earth, which is still in a primitive state, and become Adam and Eve. All the miracles of the Bible end up being a the result of the Force.
This is too plausible for me.
I'm thinking some way to resurrect Vader. He's the cash cow and merchandising him is huge. If he were 'alive' again then they could sell toys of him in different suits and shit.
Not one fucking chaika yet, really?
Literally, who?
Nah, they already accidentally leaked with a toy on Amazon that the nigger is Lando's son, and there's no way they can sell a literal ape as being 3/4 white.
I would be okay with this. Sheev did nothing wrong.
Kind of. The force wasn't really about morality, and given the path they've been taking in the new EU, it'll be that the force has a will of it's own and can't be controlled. It's going to be a destiny story.
Remember, Finn is going to be gay and end up with that spic pilot Poe.
Finn's gonna get B E A N E D
All of that is confirmed.
Either C3P0 is not gay or Rey is Sheev
is name is literally one letter off from being "a yid".
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That's the persistent rumor. Rey is the chosen one who brings balance to the force. Along with this rumor, there are another ones saying that Yoda, Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin (Hayden Christensen) are going to appear as Force Ghosts.
So basically Rey is Korra
...
But Watto DOES wear a yarmulke.
That would be fucking awesome. If only Snoke was Darth Plagueis
That would make these new Shlock Wars films worth existing.
I hope they don't run with the Chosen One angle, but considering how bad Kathleen Kennedy and Jew Jew Binks cucked up The Farce Engorges, it wouldn't surprise me.
Kek. Yoda is a Hebrew word meaning "the one who knows" and a Sanskrit word meaning "great warrior". Pretty clever naming, actually, since Luke goes in thinking Yoda will be a great warrior but he ends up being a tiny green alien who focuses on wisdom and mysticism.
So this confirms they're stealing the plotpoint from Kotor about Jedi and Sith being two sides of the same coin and as bad as each other.
I don't know much about the stuff surrounding the prequels but I've always imagined that Plagueis and Sheev were the same person.
REY, THE JEWS ARE BEHIND IT ALL!
Watto knows about the jewish mind tricks, obviously he's one of them.
Kylo Ren kind of looks like JJ Abrams so maybe Kylo will end up the hero??
fuck off
They might actually be able to salvage the trilogy, if the twist is that Rey turns to the darkside and Kylo turns to the light. A hyper competent protagonist and a villain who can't do shit is boring as fuck, but make them switch places and then maybe you've got something.
Plagueis was Sheev's master. Sheev killed him after he learned everything from him.
Snoke looks very similar to Plagueis designs, but Andy Serkis denied Snoke was Plagueis
I still hope that was just a diversion
even the normalfags are coming up with better ideas than this korra bullshit.
the only good idea is if Ray's super speshal mary sue powers lead her to going to he dark side while Luke kick's Kylo's shit in, forgives him, and turns him to the light side.
That's fucking stupid. Why do people like obvious trite shit like this?
because it's better than the shit we got. It's not like the basis of star wars main storyline is anything new. You could write the whole thing in a sword and sorcery tale with knights who have the ability to cast spells and unbreakable swords and the shit would be the same fucking thing.
I would disagree. A 'lol we're switching sides SO RANDOM' is so bad I could see it happening.
It's a bad idea because it throws out all the characterization of the first movie. But user, you might be saying, we want to throw it out. Well, you can't. It exists, and removing shit that exists will be jarring and suck the viewer out of the story. Can't just 'it was all a dream' this shit. It sets up the final fight to be a fuckup autistic manchild who has killed people against a lesser trained girl who is now the villain. It just doesn't work.
I could see Rey killing Kylo Ren and becoming Snoke's new apprentice, which would make Ren's character a total joke. Maybe she'll kill Luke too as a 'omigad she badass' moment. Then the third movie is Finn winning Rey back to the light with BBC.
In fact, I'm going with this. This is what's going to happen.
no
The A.R.R. was funded by The I.G.B.C. the whole time…
The first movie had characterization? Was it between all those scripted action scenes? Rey is good with machines and has abandonment issues and Finn just turns sides and kills his former brethren because it was the right thing to do. I guess that is characterization but it was pretty bad characterization. Replace them with a piece of toast and the story is barely affected by them being gone.
It will be this. Future Jedi will learn to "balance" the force.
RotS was pure kino you plen
the gungans did 9/11
Faggot, Finn is gonna go gay and get BEANED by Poe.
Not necessarily a bad idea. Problem is the producers and writers of the new movies are all pozzed and pumping out shit. At least Rebels has been good, and made this whole "balance the force" angle work from a mystical angle rather than a moral one.
Only the Sheev parts
Rey was a headstrong bitch. Kylo Ren was weak and confused. I wouldn't find it a huge stretch for them to develop along those paths.
I really hope this means they do something so monumentally stupid and nonsensical in an attempt at an EBIN TWEEST that even normalfags are disgusted.
Will there ever be a C H I N K E D meme?
The Pozz is strong with this one.
Yes. It's called gettin' R I C E D
You burn the coal, you pay the toll
You farm the rice, you pay the price
You eat the bean(s), you…
You know what I mean?
Force Tree
I remember the thread that image was made in. I was the user that's quote was used in that.
I still like the R I C E D meme, though. It makes me chuckle.
>You eat re-fry the bean,
You'll never be clean.
thats ripping off snape killing dumbledore on purpose tho
But it was. The symbolism of the "light side" and the "dark side" was thinner than fucking paper.
I think Finn is intended to pair up with Rey. The theory that he's going to go gay for the spic is just because he had better chemistry with Poe than he did with Rey, and that's almost entirely because Ridley is a terrible actress.
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luke is gay
rey is a lesbian
THE FORCE IS A TREE
There I saved you $8.
The Force was just a renamed ying and yang from Chinese mythology. The whole point of the Force is to be "balanced", to not let one side, dark or light, dominate, but instead have both with equal footing. It is the exact same as ying and yang, but characters using it can use telekinesis and shoot lightning out of their hands. Hell, ying and yang are just Chinese for "Dark and light".
Skip to about 2:10, listen to what the spic is saying, and watch Bongoyega's face.
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Woah that really shocked me
But he doesn't have a ass.
that the script is written BEFORE the toys are designed?
rey is a man
That made me kek harder than I expected
Everyone on the planet ? They had so much marketing that I am pretty sure there are adds even in syria, in the conflict zones.
What characterization?All of Reys charter is being perfect. I honesty don't know what your referring too.
rey is transgender and defeats the patriarchy by shoving her cock down its throat
Ray facefucking Kylo would be pretty funny tbh.
She practically did that already. Poor emo Sith Apprentice and former student of Luke Skywalker got the shit kicked out of him by some scavenger girl from the middle of butt-fuck nowhere, who had never used the force or been in a lightsaber duel before their fight.
I swear, I've read Star Wars fanfiction better than this
once you go Mexican you don't want to have sex again.
That's not Plagueis though.
ftfy
same species, same thing.
Anybody else find they are just so desensitized to traps and trannies they don't fap to them anymore?
At this point the only porn I like is solo women jiggling.
Han Solo and his son are in a shitty movie. Han Solo dies *spoiler*, and his son is taken to the nearest jedi indoctrination centre. The greatest jedi prodigy comes in and exlaims "I can't teach this padawan."
"Why not?" the audience asks.
"Because i'm a nigger," the prodigy responds.
How is this possible?
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~>the force is a tree
We Avatar now??
Imagine being Luke Skywalker
Being Luke is suffering.
The Force tree is dumb as fuck but I'm equally put off by the book in it. Star Wars isn't supposed to have books, it's no longer a galaxy far far away but more and more conventional and normal.
I'm sure you'll come around again.
It comes in waves for me. Problem is, no matter how pretty the girl theres like a 90 percent chance shell have a roast beef flap pussy
'the force' is actually the patriarchy and rey is the only person in the universe who can forever defeat it and replace it with an omni-benevolent matriarchy.
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We are Groot.
oh fuck every movie is starting to blur together
the real secret is that nothing will happen or be explained, it will set up a bunch of more "mysteries" and cliffhangers and the buck will be passed to episode 9, which will again fail to deliver
this is the soap opera bullshit of a film series slated to continue indefinitely
The mystery box design will make people lose interest after IV I hope. It's shit tier writing to just throw mysteries at the viewer with no intention of ever resolving them. It's fine to have things go unexplained but you're supposed to hide that away rather than to make it the centerpiece.
That's why Kreia hated the force in KOTOR 2
wat
Rebels has been good. Much better than the schlock the movie team at Disney has been shitting out.
why do people act as if these movies are revealing true events that actually happened in the past? Like, when Rogue One was coming out every was saying
>I cant believe we're finally going to see how the rebels got the Death Star plans!
Even though it's probably been explained several times over in the expanded universe.
I'd settle for one reason.
Sounds like they movie they should have made instead of A new Hope 2.
Mark Hamill's gonna shoot up the studio if that happens.
That Star Wars is a cashcow and that Japanese ad is clickbait? Spaceballs 2: The Quest for More Money NEVER EVER
It's The Search For More Money, and yes, Mel Brooks is supposedly working on it.
So he is doing it. Good I was hoping he would follow up on that.
The Schwartz is inside you, Lone Star!
By erasing the accomplishments of the Bothan spies in favor of a human centric group of Rebel infiltrators?
He said the only reason he decided to actually do it was because the new of the Star Wars films. Hopefully he'll keep it subtle and won't overly kike the film. Blazing Saddles was about as kiked as it gets back in the 70s, but he didn't kike up Space Balls with anything more than sex jokes.
And also getting rid of Kyle Katarn from the canon.
They didn't really get rid of him, they just turned him into a whipped manlet that dies trying to save a shriveled up, worthless cunt.
The latino guy in the movie was Kyle Katarn? I thought he was just some separate rebel character.
It's what the yids butchered him into.
Weird, I thought the Jedi dude on Star Wars Rebels was the Kyle Katarn stand in.
I thought he was a ripoff of that blind Jedi general from Force Unleashed.
I think they may have mixed the two characters. I've noticed they've taken stuff from the old EU and turned it into something else for their own purposes.
ALL OF STAR WARS IS JUST AN AUTISTIC KID LOOKING AT A SNOW GLOBE
We know that. He was called George. Bullies smashed his snowglobe.
Nah, that's the blind gook from Rogue One.
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feels good man
Or
I don't really care either way. It's all bad fanfiction I won't be watching.
Yet you're being a faggot right now.
Nothing a gay about a cute girl with a nice hard cock. Dicks are all men really think about anyway. Chances are you'll touch more dick than pussy in your life. Think about that.
Fag logic in action, gr8 b8 m8.
men aren't inheritantly attracted to men, they have a fascination with penises. So a hot chick with a penis is really not as crazy as it seems at first glance.
Maybe although maybe that's not all men and you're projecting. But for argument's sake let's say this is true. Even then I don't think you can rationalize getting sexually aroused by the sight of dicks or a dick as anything other than homosexuality. If you have that you're just gay.
And counter-example: Men aren't nearly as obsessed with dicks as women are with MUH VAGINA, yet you don't see women masturbating getting aroused by the concept of a man with a vagina. Just admit to yourself that you're into men.
Wrong Death Star dumbass.
Would this actually happen?
Why didn't previous trilogy characters do this?
hmmmm…
This
The idea of tiny organisms in your blood stream giving you magic powers is retarded. The magic tree is stupider, but still.
It would have been okay if it was explained that those things were created by or attracted to a strong connection with the force, so a count of them would make sense.
I'm not sure if it is sad or funny that George aimed the prequels at teenagers and tried to be as didactic and simple as possible yet people still don't understand midichlorians at all.
This is not the big contradiction that spergs like Stoklasa thought. The EU had said for years that Force Usage was either with you at birth or not.
What is asianmasculinity? Is it like PUA but exclusively asian guys?
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Sounds like reddit is getting high off their own farts again
Yeah, its not a step too far off the beaten path. It would have been a neat idea if it kept with the idea of the force being mystical and the midichlorians being a byproduct of that, in my opinion. The only thing I have against it is the explanation, really.
The Canon and EU did a much better job of explaining that midichlorians were what allowed force-users to connect with the force, but it adds a layer of complexity that isn't necessary. It would make more since, to me, to cut the midichlorians completely and just say some people can connect with the force better than others.
Midichlorians aren't the force though. They clearly refer to them as distinct entities. Whether or not midichlorians were a good idea is debatable, but they're not the force.
Disney do shill on reddit, but this is retarded. I doubt Disney will want to bring up anything vaguely EU or prequel related even.
Disney actively tried to shift away from the prequels.
brilliant
that's true and probably more relevant than the fact that it's a fucking stupid idea
I'll take a wild guess it's some guy personally trained by Darth Vader who has never been mentioned before for no good reason
Well there is Gallius Rex who was friend to Palpatine at one point. starwars.wikia.com
Is there any hope for Space Opera?
No
Also no, obviously
Wasn't Joss always kind of a libtard?
I'd rather see Jews In Space tbh
either you're not a man or you're an emasculated faggot
this actually sounds most likely.
Was he a good friend?
>The idea of tiny organisms in your blood stream giving you magic powers is retarded, But lol anyone can have magic pwers if you just believe! xD is not…
???
Also Midi-chlorians are not the force to begin with..
Good
calling it now
Luke is Kreia
Rey is the Exile
yes.